Awww, Justin has grown on me SO MUCH since we first started doing this. *pinches his cheeks* To the point that I'm actually excited that Justin is going to be in this episode and actually requested to be the one recapping it!
Aww, it's the Turbo cars! And they are... chained up and being whipped. This is disturbing. Poor vaguely sentient not!transformers! You escape your chains! Or at least Storm Blaster, you escape, since poor Lightning Cruiser does not.
So then we cut to Divatox calling Astronema, who is all "so I lost this little Storm Blaster" thing, and we see a "special guest appearance by Blake Foster!" which yay! Oh right, and Divatox and Astronema are arguing about catching Storm Blaster first, but more importantly we get Divatox mocking Astronema, which is hilarious and awesome.
The Rangers are all excited to see Storm Blaster being chased, except for Andros who is all "WTF, it's a car." That is a valid opinion, Andros. The team morphs and comes to Storm Blaster's aid, and TJ is all "HIIIIIIIII, I'm wearing Blue now! So you're my car!" The team gets caught, and Storm Blaster drives off again.
We cut to Justin! Who still has really bad hair. His dad is telling him to go to bed, but Justin is busy wishing on a star that his friends are ok, and we get a bunch of flashbacks to Turbo, including one of the episode where Justin should have joined the Avengers.
Justin's dad is all "Yeah, I know we had plans, but I'm going to work" and Justin is all "WTF, I gave up Rangering for this? You fail!" Justin hears Storm Blaster outside, and immediately sneaks out of the house.
Justin asks how Lightning Cruiser is, and Justin's car is all "GET IN NOW" and Justin barely hesitates before getting in. There's an ET ripoff scene, and then we cut back to the Rangers being all chained off in the warehouse again. This is of course where Justin and Storm Blaster are going to, and Justin sees that they're all chained up, but he has no powers, oh no! He gets attacked by Quantrons, and manages to fight them off without the monsters inside noticing.
Somehow, Justin gets back into Storm Blaster, and Storm Blaster hands over a new version of his morpher. Um. Where did that come from? And why don't we actually get to see him morph? But he shows up anyway, and is all "you forgot one small thing. Of course, I'm not so small right now." And I'm sticking by the theory of baby!Justin turning into SUPER HOT ADULT BLAKE FOSTER when he morphs, so yaaaay.
There's a pretty decent fight scene or whatever, and Justin is all "WHO IS WEARING MY COLOR????" but he's pretty cool with it once he figures out it's TJ. Really, TJ, you didn't call him once?? It would be one thing if this was like the first episode or whatever, but um, this is midway through the season.
Storm Blaster and the blues shoot at the monster, which gets knocked back. The monster grows, and Justin is all "Okay, so I'm done now, have fun!" TJ is all "You will LOVE the new toys" and we get a fight scene.
Storm Blaster honks at them some more, and they go off to rescue Lightning Cruiser, and the others show off their galaxy gliders. They offer to show Justin, but he's all "I have a car. HA."
There's another fight scene where they beat up some Pirahnatrons and rescue Lightning Cruiser. Justin is all "I'm worried about you guys! (and I miss you)" and the team is all "we loooove you" and they do the once a ranger thing before remembering to introduce him to Andros, who is from the space colonies. Exactly when did Earth colonize space?
Justin (who has saved the day in his pajamas, because he is awesome) is all "so if you need me, call."
Back in Angel Grove, his dad sees a father and son bonding, and decides that maybe he should spend time with his kid. Justin manages to sneak in just before he does, and they decide to go fishing. Considering Justin was out all night, he's going to be REALLY tired.
Also, still the worst dad ever.
Fish: 2.5. So um, where did the spare Turbo morpher come from? Can Justin still morph later on? Does he get to keep Storm Blaster? These are important questions that must be answered!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Episode 267- The Rangers' Mega Voyage
Shana tova everyone! We are BACK! And we start the new year (the Jewish one anyway) with Power Rangers! What better way to ring in Rosh Hashanah, eh? (or, as Matt Austin Sadowski wished us on his twitter "Happy JewYear")
So we start out with a fight. A fight? Really? That... does not bode well. It's two big monsters and they're going after the Megazord. Carlos notes that reserve power is about to go out. This must have been one heck of a fight. Alpha has worked out one of the key cards and I have to wonder why he was doing that instead of helping with the MEGAFIGHT, but whatever. He's found a super awesome weapon that they conveniently have juuusstttt enough power to go get.
One of the monsters goes after the rangers. Astronema is all badass with a card playing monster we saw when there was Sword Fighting on my Power Rangers. She's very much with the "torture is fun!" and manages to get lots of information about the key cards. Very helpfully provided to us, the viewers, in the form of clips from the previous episode. Way to waste a clip show.
The rangers find the Super Awesome Weapon while the other monster is attacking Alpha and DECA. They aren't really doing much in the fighting back bit. Unfortunately, Astronema totally wants that weapon and heads them off at the pass. Andros is sure he's found the weapon because he totally knows it when he sees it, but Cassie provides drama by FALLING DOWN dramatically as the door closes. She jumps right through just in time, sealing them off from Astronema. This is not an exciting chase scene. They need to take some pointers from Indiana Jones.
The weapon is really five new zords. Four of which are conveniently positioned around a very phallic looking rocket. OH SHOW. Zordon left the New Toys because he totes trolls the rangers. They take the New Toys back to Earth and fight the monster. I'm wondering what happened to the monster that was supposed to be following them. Is he just chilling out in space? Just kind of milling about enjoying the view? They ARE on one of Jupiter's moons. That's got to be one pretty sweet view.
There is a boring fight. It is almost as boring as JDF (did you hear he's this years NPS guest? I... really could care less. I used to live near the dude. Didn't care then, either) The New Toys rescue Alpha and DECA just in time. There is dramatic music. It's not nearly as epic as Rick Astley. This episode is still boring.
(this episode is made so much better by the Spousal Person helpfully playing Rick Astley in the background for the whole 20 minutes... which might have been irritating if I didn't unironically love Rick Astley.)
5 fish, for being utterly boring and forgettable.
So we start out with a fight. A fight? Really? That... does not bode well. It's two big monsters and they're going after the Megazord. Carlos notes that reserve power is about to go out. This must have been one heck of a fight. Alpha has worked out one of the key cards and I have to wonder why he was doing that instead of helping with the MEGAFIGHT, but whatever. He's found a super awesome weapon that they conveniently have juuusstttt enough power to go get.
One of the monsters goes after the rangers. Astronema is all badass with a card playing monster we saw when there was Sword Fighting on my Power Rangers. She's very much with the "torture is fun!" and manages to get lots of information about the key cards. Very helpfully provided to us, the viewers, in the form of clips from the previous episode. Way to waste a clip show.
The rangers find the Super Awesome Weapon while the other monster is attacking Alpha and DECA. They aren't really doing much in the fighting back bit. Unfortunately, Astronema totally wants that weapon and heads them off at the pass. Andros is sure he's found the weapon because he totally knows it when he sees it, but Cassie provides drama by FALLING DOWN dramatically as the door closes. She jumps right through just in time, sealing them off from Astronema. This is not an exciting chase scene. They need to take some pointers from Indiana Jones.
The weapon is really five new zords. Four of which are conveniently positioned around a very phallic looking rocket. OH SHOW. Zordon left the New Toys because he totes trolls the rangers. They take the New Toys back to Earth and fight the monster. I'm wondering what happened to the monster that was supposed to be following them. Is he just chilling out in space? Just kind of milling about enjoying the view? They ARE on one of Jupiter's moons. That's got to be one pretty sweet view.
There is a boring fight. It is almost as boring as JDF (did you hear he's this years NPS guest? I... really could care less. I used to live near the dude. Didn't care then, either) The New Toys rescue Alpha and DECA just in time. There is dramatic music. It's not nearly as epic as Rick Astley. This episode is still boring.
(this episode is made so much better by the Spousal Person helpfully playing Rick Astley in the background for the whole 20 minutes... which might have been irritating if I didn't unironically love Rick Astley.)
5 fish, for being utterly boring and forgettable.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Episode 265 - T.J.'s Identity Crisis
Awww, the team is playing basketball! How adorable are they? I really love the various team building things where they play ridiculous sports, and I'm even willing to buy the matching outfits, because... adorable. Also, TJ is clearly hooking up with EVERYONE on the team, and I approve of this.
Anyway, DECA disturbs the basketball game to tell them that they've arrived on some planet and Andros points out that if someone sees them the whole mission is worthless. Of course, there's Darkonda. HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR BRIGHTLY COLOR CODED CLOTHING, EVER THINK OF THAT???
Back on the ship, Carlos asks Andros about the technobabble that's going to scan the galaxy really quickly or something.
Darkona sneaks up on Astronema, who is super annoyed with him for that. Darkonda is all "Ecliptor sucks" and Astronema is mad on his behalf. Why is this season not about Ecliptor and Astronema and how they are awesome? Ecliptor storms in and Darkonda spills the beans on the satellite. Darkonda and Ecliptor then blow up the scanner with Darkonda being all threatening about telling Astronema something, and somehow this causes the Rangers to lose the lock they had on Zordon. UM, YOU HAD ALREADY LOCATED HIM OR WHATEVER.
Anyway, time for a fight scene. Darkonda tries to kill Ecliptor or merge with him or somethign, because Darkonda is a GREAT villain and then we get Darkliptor. Darkliptor freezes Ashley and Cassie, and Andros tries to be one of THOSE reds and just run and attack even though TJ is all "DUDE, YOU NEED A PLAN." TJ takes a blow that was meant for Andros and goes down HARD. Carlos also gets all frozen or whatever and Andros takes the unconscious TJ back to the ship, leaving the others on the planet.
AND THEN WE FIND OUT TJ HAS AMNESIA AND LIKE, FAVORITE THING EVER.
Um, I have mentioned my love of amnesia before, yes?
TJ runs through the megaship and we head over to where Darkliptor has the other Rangers. Astronema seems to be buying Darkliptor's claim that Ecliptor had attacked Darkonda, or at least she's all "eh, he's caught three of them. Useful." She orders him to destroy the three Rangers, but he claims they're needed as bait. ASTRONEMA IS THE SMARTEST, EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO HER.
Back on the ship, TJ is still confused and Andros tries to jog his memory. TJ denies that he's a power ranger and Andros goes down to the planet himself.
You guys, this episode needs so much more of TJ not remembering that he's dating Cassie and/or Andros and them being all "CUDDLES!" For an episode that is supposed to be about amnesia, I am not getting the good parts of this trope. :((((
Andros is getting beaten up, while TJ explores the ship. He finds a basketball and somehow this makes him start to remember or whatever? Pfft. He then finds his locker which has pictures of the team , and he manages to teleport himself to watch the battle. He morphs and is still confused about being the blue ranger, and Darkliptor immediately attacks him. TJ is about to get killed when Andros saves him, and THEN TJ remembers.
Look, this is the biggest waste of an amnesia plot ever. WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS????
TJ remembers Andros, since apparently they are totally dating, and the two of them attack Darkliptor together. They trick him by throwing weapons and then blasting him and the amount I don't care about fight scenes or whatever. When Andros hits Darkliptor he splits back into Darkonda and Ecliptor and Astronema is all "what???" Darkonda recombines with Ecliptor just as Astronema makes them grow. Zords are summoned and Darkonda separates from Ecliptor again to make Ecliptor get destroyed instead of them both. Astronema proves to be a moron and believes Ecliptor attacked Darkonda, and declares him to be Ecliptor's equal. I am more concerned with whatever it is that Darkonda is blackmailing Ecliptor with, because I don't remember.
Back on the ship, apparently the technobabbley device is broken forever. TJ doesn't seem to remember what basketball is, so Carlos and Ashley are totally unconcerned about this and are just all "We are so going to beat them" but TJ is faking it. (Also, I choose to believe that TJ, Cassie and Andros are having a threesome.)
Fish: 3. HEY, WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS?
Fic we want: Take a guess
Anyway, DECA disturbs the basketball game to tell them that they've arrived on some planet and Andros points out that if someone sees them the whole mission is worthless. Of course, there's Darkonda. HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR BRIGHTLY COLOR CODED CLOTHING, EVER THINK OF THAT???
Back on the ship, Carlos asks Andros about the technobabble that's going to scan the galaxy really quickly or something.
Darkona sneaks up on Astronema, who is super annoyed with him for that. Darkonda is all "Ecliptor sucks" and Astronema is mad on his behalf. Why is this season not about Ecliptor and Astronema and how they are awesome? Ecliptor storms in and Darkonda spills the beans on the satellite. Darkonda and Ecliptor then blow up the scanner with Darkonda being all threatening about telling Astronema something, and somehow this causes the Rangers to lose the lock they had on Zordon. UM, YOU HAD ALREADY LOCATED HIM OR WHATEVER.
Anyway, time for a fight scene. Darkonda tries to kill Ecliptor or merge with him or somethign, because Darkonda is a GREAT villain and then we get Darkliptor. Darkliptor freezes Ashley and Cassie, and Andros tries to be one of THOSE reds and just run and attack even though TJ is all "DUDE, YOU NEED A PLAN." TJ takes a blow that was meant for Andros and goes down HARD. Carlos also gets all frozen or whatever and Andros takes the unconscious TJ back to the ship, leaving the others on the planet.
AND THEN WE FIND OUT TJ HAS AMNESIA AND LIKE, FAVORITE THING EVER.
Um, I have mentioned my love of amnesia before, yes?
TJ runs through the megaship and we head over to where Darkliptor has the other Rangers. Astronema seems to be buying Darkliptor's claim that Ecliptor had attacked Darkonda, or at least she's all "eh, he's caught three of them. Useful." She orders him to destroy the three Rangers, but he claims they're needed as bait. ASTRONEMA IS THE SMARTEST, EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO HER.
Back on the ship, TJ is still confused and Andros tries to jog his memory. TJ denies that he's a power ranger and Andros goes down to the planet himself.
You guys, this episode needs so much more of TJ not remembering that he's dating Cassie and/or Andros and them being all "CUDDLES!" For an episode that is supposed to be about amnesia, I am not getting the good parts of this trope. :((((
Andros is getting beaten up, while TJ explores the ship. He finds a basketball and somehow this makes him start to remember or whatever? Pfft. He then finds his locker which has pictures of the team , and he manages to teleport himself to watch the battle. He morphs and is still confused about being the blue ranger, and Darkliptor immediately attacks him. TJ is about to get killed when Andros saves him, and THEN TJ remembers.
Look, this is the biggest waste of an amnesia plot ever. WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS????
TJ remembers Andros, since apparently they are totally dating, and the two of them attack Darkliptor together. They trick him by throwing weapons and then blasting him and the amount I don't care about fight scenes or whatever. When Andros hits Darkliptor he splits back into Darkonda and Ecliptor and Astronema is all "what???" Darkonda recombines with Ecliptor just as Astronema makes them grow. Zords are summoned and Darkonda separates from Ecliptor again to make Ecliptor get destroyed instead of them both. Astronema proves to be a moron and believes Ecliptor attacked Darkonda, and declares him to be Ecliptor's equal. I am more concerned with whatever it is that Darkonda is blackmailing Ecliptor with, because I don't remember.
Back on the ship, apparently the technobabbley device is broken forever. TJ doesn't seem to remember what basketball is, so Carlos and Ashley are totally unconcerned about this and are just all "We are so going to beat them" but TJ is faking it. (Also, I choose to believe that TJ, Cassie and Andros are having a threesome.)
Fish: 3. HEY, WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS?
Fic we want: Take a guess
Episode 266- Flashes of Darkonda
So I was going to try to do something really awesome this past weekend while TSB was at DragonCon. I thought about recapping the first episode of Gokaiger or VR Troopers. Then I thought I'd go way back and really hit my nostalgia button and do the first episode of Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog. Instead, I read books two and three of A Song of Ice and Fire and alas, you all suffered the loss. Sorry? Only not really because new obsession.
Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.
Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.
TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?
So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*
Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.
Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.
4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.
Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).
Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.
Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.
TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?
So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*
Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.
Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.
4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.
Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Episode 263 - Grandma Matchmaker
Oh hey! DragonCon is this weekend! If you happen to be at the con, I'll be on the Power Rangers Samurai panel, Friday at 4!
Right, so this episode. Everyone I've spoken to (hey, Mark!) has gone all "UGH, I AM SO SORRY" but... Ashley and Carlos go on a date. I can't hate this episode.
UM, I HAVE MENTIONED I SHIP ASHLEY/CARLOS, RIGHT?
We open in the park, when a taxi pulls up, and a woman in the most hideous outfit ever gets out. Seriously, green overalls, and a pink hat, and watermelon earings? She's Ashley's grandmother, who apparently takes fashion lessons from Claudia Kishi. She has a file with her that apparently contains info on Ashley's future husband.
Did I mention that the grandmother is a HORRIBLE ACTRESS?
Anyway, I don't actually have a problem with matchmaking plots, because.... seriously, most fanficcy trope ever, y/y? And frankly, Ashley's grandma is TOTALLY a Jewish grandmother. Seriously, I know her. I do find it a little creepy that her grandma is talking about kids while Ashley is in high school. (Okay, maybe not a Jewish grandmother - she's not pushing food on her.)
Ashley decides to get out of it by introducing Carlos as her boyfriend, and grandma immediately starts molesting him. She is so creepy.
LOOK, I DON'T EVEN CARE BECAUSE ASHLEY AND CARLOS ARE GOING TO GO ON A DATE AND MY SHIPPER HEART IS DELIGHTED.
Communicators go off, and Ashley and Carlos try to run off, but grandma follows them to ask about drink options. Meanwhile, the other Rangers are getting their butts kicked by a monster who lays really bad eggs. They destroy the monster, but she's laid her eggs all over the city.
Carlos is all "look, we can't just PRETEND forever" and TJ is all "SURE, GET MARRIED." TJ understands.
Carlos tells Ashley's grandmother the truth, and Grandma clearly sees that they are MFEO, so she decides they should go on a first date. The other Rangers think this is HILARIOUS, but to be fair, if someone tried to force me into those shirts, I would agree. They go to an amusement park with the other Rangers spying on them, and grandma constantly calling to interrupt and give bad advice and insist that they hold hands.
Also, she makes them share a milkshake.
LOOK, I AM JUST SAYING, THIS SHOULD END WITH CARLOS POINTING OUT THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO PRETEND BECAUSE HE REALLY DOES LOVE HER, AND THEN THEY MAKE OUT.
Anyway, the date gets interrupted by the bugs hatching and starting to eat the whole city, including BUILDINGS. Ashley's grandma refuses to leave without Ashley, so Ashley leaves with her while the others Morph to take care of the plague of locusts.
The weapons are eaten by the bugs, and clearly the bugs should be hanging out with Pudgy Pig. The bugs all combine into one monster which starts to beat them, so Alpha calls her to hurry up. Ashley calls out at her grandma for smothering her, and a random cop selects Ashley and her grandmother to escort out of the chaos, ignoring all the other people running around. Ashley shoves her grandmother at the cop and heads off to the battle, but grandma is not having it, so she flips the cop and steals his car.
You go, badass grandma!
Ashley is about to get beaten by the monster, when grandma hits him with a cop car. She tries to do it again but has somehow lost control of the car and... I don't even know. This stopped making sense a long time ago.
Grandma is all apologetic about interfering but Ashley tells her that no, she's great, and wonderful and she has a grandma just like her, and she wouldn't want her any other way. Ashley then defeats the monster, which grows after and we get a fight scene or whatever. The bugs try to eat the zord, so the new toy is summoned to shoot the bugs off them. Whatever. They they punch the bugs. The end.
As everyone carries grandma's stuff to the cab, we discover that grandma is now matchmaking for Adelle.
Fish: 4.
Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER IF THERE SHOULD BE ASHLEY/CARLOS OR SOMETHING.
Right, so this episode. Everyone I've spoken to (hey, Mark!) has gone all "UGH, I AM SO SORRY" but... Ashley and Carlos go on a date. I can't hate this episode.
UM, I HAVE MENTIONED I SHIP ASHLEY/CARLOS, RIGHT?
We open in the park, when a taxi pulls up, and a woman in the most hideous outfit ever gets out. Seriously, green overalls, and a pink hat, and watermelon earings? She's Ashley's grandmother, who apparently takes fashion lessons from Claudia Kishi. She has a file with her that apparently contains info on Ashley's future husband.
Did I mention that the grandmother is a HORRIBLE ACTRESS?
Anyway, I don't actually have a problem with matchmaking plots, because.... seriously, most fanficcy trope ever, y/y? And frankly, Ashley's grandma is TOTALLY a Jewish grandmother. Seriously, I know her. I do find it a little creepy that her grandma is talking about kids while Ashley is in high school. (Okay, maybe not a Jewish grandmother - she's not pushing food on her.)
Ashley decides to get out of it by introducing Carlos as her boyfriend, and grandma immediately starts molesting him. She is so creepy.
LOOK, I DON'T EVEN CARE BECAUSE ASHLEY AND CARLOS ARE GOING TO GO ON A DATE AND MY SHIPPER HEART IS DELIGHTED.
Communicators go off, and Ashley and Carlos try to run off, but grandma follows them to ask about drink options. Meanwhile, the other Rangers are getting their butts kicked by a monster who lays really bad eggs. They destroy the monster, but she's laid her eggs all over the city.
Carlos is all "look, we can't just PRETEND forever" and TJ is all "SURE, GET MARRIED." TJ understands.
Carlos tells Ashley's grandmother the truth, and Grandma clearly sees that they are MFEO, so she decides they should go on a first date. The other Rangers think this is HILARIOUS, but to be fair, if someone tried to force me into those shirts, I would agree. They go to an amusement park with the other Rangers spying on them, and grandma constantly calling to interrupt and give bad advice and insist that they hold hands.
Also, she makes them share a milkshake.
LOOK, I AM JUST SAYING, THIS SHOULD END WITH CARLOS POINTING OUT THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO PRETEND BECAUSE HE REALLY DOES LOVE HER, AND THEN THEY MAKE OUT.
Anyway, the date gets interrupted by the bugs hatching and starting to eat the whole city, including BUILDINGS. Ashley's grandma refuses to leave without Ashley, so Ashley leaves with her while the others Morph to take care of the plague of locusts.
The weapons are eaten by the bugs, and clearly the bugs should be hanging out with Pudgy Pig. The bugs all combine into one monster which starts to beat them, so Alpha calls her to hurry up. Ashley calls out at her grandma for smothering her, and a random cop selects Ashley and her grandmother to escort out of the chaos, ignoring all the other people running around. Ashley shoves her grandmother at the cop and heads off to the battle, but grandma is not having it, so she flips the cop and steals his car.
You go, badass grandma!
Ashley is about to get beaten by the monster, when grandma hits him with a cop car. She tries to do it again but has somehow lost control of the car and... I don't even know. This stopped making sense a long time ago.
Grandma is all apologetic about interfering but Ashley tells her that no, she's great, and wonderful and she has a grandma just like her, and she wouldn't want her any other way. Ashley then defeats the monster, which grows after and we get a fight scene or whatever. The bugs try to eat the zord, so the new toy is summoned to shoot the bugs off them. Whatever. They they punch the bugs. The end.
As everyone carries grandma's stuff to the cab, we discover that grandma is now matchmaking for Adelle.
Fish: 4.
Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER IF THERE SHOULD BE ASHLEY/CARLOS OR SOMETHING.
Episode 264- The Barillian Sting
Today on Power Rangers- Carlos is hot. And there's a bug. But mostly, Carlos is hot.
So we start out in a forest that TJ calls "weird". It looks like any other forest they use for Angel Grove, so I don't see what's so weird about it. They're apparently looking for Zordon. Unfortunately, Ecliptor has laid a false distress signal. They're chasing ghosts. Also unfortunately, Ecliptor is interrupted by Darkonda. He wants to get involved in everything. Ecliptor doesn't like that plan. These two really don't like each other.
TJ finally figures out it's a trap. There is a fight with quantrons. At least it's unmorphed? Darkonda releases a bug that looks like a large bit of plastic dancing about on a string. It stings Carlos. TJ and Cassie take him back to the ship. Good thinking, because that was a freaking HUGE bug.
Carlos is then shirtless! MmmmmshirtlessCarlos. Unfortunately, he now has weird patterns running up his arm and across his chest, which are supposed to be his veins showing, but mostly they look like marker. I really don't care about that because he's shirtless. And have I mentioned that Carlos is freaking HAWT???
On Astronema's ship, there is infighting between Darkonda and Ecliptor. Astronema isn't quite sure what to think of this new guy. She is pleased, however, that Darkonda took out Carlos by using a Barillian bug. She is the smartest!
TJ and Andros run around the planet looking for the bug and they run into Darkonda instead. He likes to taunt them. I can't help but like this guy! They chase him on their galaxy gliders through the forest, and he releases the bug on them. Somehow this bug is insanely fast because the GALAXY GLIDERS, y'know, THOSE THINGS THAT TRAVEL LIGHTS YEARS IN MINUTES, can't outrun it. I really don't care about this bit, as I just want more shirtless Carlos.
Andros finally catches it and confirms that the bug is a Barillion bug and Carlos is turning into one. They have to go get an antidote. OH NOES! I'm guessing this is how they procreate? I dunno. Makes no sense. We DO end up with more shirtless Carlos, but unfortunately it's Carlos in bug form. Not nearly as pretty as Human Shirtless Carlos. He escapes. The others stalk the ship trying to find him. Lucky for them, he leaves a slime trail. I do wonder, who's going to clean up all that slime?
They find him and he stings Cassie, leaving what looks like a nipple on her neck. Good job, show! They restrain her with something that clips together with car seatbelt latches. Really? THAT is going to hold her? Uh... okay then. TJ and Andros chute down to the planet to get the antidote. Darkonda confronts them and Andros sends TJ back with the antidote while he fights Darkonda alone. I... still don't really care about this at all. I still want more shirtless Carlos.
Cassie transforms as well and both she and Carlos go after Ashley. They're about to attack when TJ shoots them with the antidote. Good job, TJ! You have impeccable timing. They turn back into themselves and alas, Carlos is now fully clothed and no longer shirtless. I have a sad of Andros proportions.
There is a big morphed fight on the planet. I still don't care. Darkonda makes a big bug and he grows giant and they call out all the toys. They totally win. Duh. Then Andros is broody on the roof of the hospital, remembering his sister in those awful flashbacks with the poor bad-hair-styled children. I'm glad we aren't subjected to too much of that.
3 fish. It was a mediocre episode. And there wasn't nearly enough shirtless Carlos.
So we start out in a forest that TJ calls "weird". It looks like any other forest they use for Angel Grove, so I don't see what's so weird about it. They're apparently looking for Zordon. Unfortunately, Ecliptor has laid a false distress signal. They're chasing ghosts. Also unfortunately, Ecliptor is interrupted by Darkonda. He wants to get involved in everything. Ecliptor doesn't like that plan. These two really don't like each other.
TJ finally figures out it's a trap. There is a fight with quantrons. At least it's unmorphed? Darkonda releases a bug that looks like a large bit of plastic dancing about on a string. It stings Carlos. TJ and Cassie take him back to the ship. Good thinking, because that was a freaking HUGE bug.
Carlos is then shirtless! MmmmmshirtlessCarlos. Unfortunately, he now has weird patterns running up his arm and across his chest, which are supposed to be his veins showing, but mostly they look like marker. I really don't care about that because he's shirtless. And have I mentioned that Carlos is freaking HAWT???
On Astronema's ship, there is infighting between Darkonda and Ecliptor. Astronema isn't quite sure what to think of this new guy. She is pleased, however, that Darkonda took out Carlos by using a Barillian bug. She is the smartest!
TJ and Andros run around the planet looking for the bug and they run into Darkonda instead. He likes to taunt them. I can't help but like this guy! They chase him on their galaxy gliders through the forest, and he releases the bug on them. Somehow this bug is insanely fast because the GALAXY GLIDERS, y'know, THOSE THINGS THAT TRAVEL LIGHTS YEARS IN MINUTES, can't outrun it. I really don't care about this bit, as I just want more shirtless Carlos.
Andros finally catches it and confirms that the bug is a Barillion bug and Carlos is turning into one. They have to go get an antidote. OH NOES! I'm guessing this is how they procreate? I dunno. Makes no sense. We DO end up with more shirtless Carlos, but unfortunately it's Carlos in bug form. Not nearly as pretty as Human Shirtless Carlos. He escapes. The others stalk the ship trying to find him. Lucky for them, he leaves a slime trail. I do wonder, who's going to clean up all that slime?
They find him and he stings Cassie, leaving what looks like a nipple on her neck. Good job, show! They restrain her with something that clips together with car seatbelt latches. Really? THAT is going to hold her? Uh... okay then. TJ and Andros chute down to the planet to get the antidote. Darkonda confronts them and Andros sends TJ back with the antidote while he fights Darkonda alone. I... still don't really care about this at all. I still want more shirtless Carlos.
Cassie transforms as well and both she and Carlos go after Ashley. They're about to attack when TJ shoots them with the antidote. Good job, TJ! You have impeccable timing. They turn back into themselves and alas, Carlos is now fully clothed and no longer shirtless. I have a sad of Andros proportions.
There is a big morphed fight on the planet. I still don't care. Darkonda makes a big bug and he grows giant and they call out all the toys. They totally win. Duh. Then Andros is broody on the roof of the hospital, remembering his sister in those awful flashbacks with the poor bad-hair-styled children. I'm glad we aren't subjected to too much of that.
3 fish. It was a mediocre episode. And there wasn't nearly enough shirtless Carlos.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Episode 262 - The Great Evilyzer
So the professor is creating some new device that will turn people EEEEEEEEEVIL. I don't think that good and evil quite work that way, but I am seriously hoping that I will get evil Rangers out of this. Also, then the terrible trio gets attacked by an evil robot thing, so hey! Points. Ecliptor steals the evilyzer, and laughs evilly.
... So why would someone WANT to build an evilyzer anyway? No, seriously. WHY?
On the bright side, we should get some evil Rangers out of the deal!
Astronema tells Ecliptor to test it on the Rangers (YESSSSSSSSSSS) but she has a bigger plan.
Ashley and Andros are on some planet with really heavy gravity which causes Ashley to fall over. Once they're back on the Galaxy Glider, Ashley and Andros show off for each other, and... that is not how space works. Ashley's glider gets hit by the evilizer and tries to throw her off and AGAIN, THAT IS NOT HOW SPACE WORKS.
Apparently the gliders are programmed to be good. UM. THEY ARE GLIDERS, THEY ARE NOT SENTIENT. THEY DO NOT HAVE GOOD AND EVIL SETTINGS. Although I really wouldn't be surprised if my router was permanently set to evil. So you know. Maybe I could believe this.
CASSIE, YOUR HAIR. Is this a symbol of her going evil? Because HAIR.
The Rangers morph because there's some disturbance in Angel Grove, since there's some monster. They shoot at it, and then it vanishes, only to be met by TWO monsters. And then more monsters. Astronema makes one of them grow, while the others are apparently tough to defeat even while they're small.
Andros summons his new toy and Astronema uses the evilyzer to turn it evil. Look, I don't care about evil Zords, I wanted EVIL RANGERS. HOW DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT THIS WITH NO EVIL RANGERS.
The Delta Megazord starts destroying the city, and man, the space rangers are going to have a lot to explain. They should call Tommy for some tips. Andros decides that the smartest way to fight an evil Zord is to summon the OTHER zord. Andros orders the Delta Megazord to stop being evil, and it looks like it works, but the evil!Zord is smarter then they are and it shoots them a lot. You go, evil!Zord.
They hit the Delta Megazord with some frequency that should jam the evil although it is overheating the Zord. The Delta Megazord heads to space and the Rangers follow it and try to link with it to find out if it's still evil. THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLAN. But for some reason it works.
The combined Megazord beats ALL the monsters by punching them. What were the monsters doing while the two Megazords were fighting? I mean, they should have helped the evil!Zord.
Astronema threatens to destroy Elgar for talking too much, which would have redeemed the episode. Sadly, it doesn't happen. Andros and Ashley find Ashley's EEEEEEEEEVIL glider, which she then fixes. The terrible trio is still running from the evil toy.
Fish: 5! WHAT A WASTED PLOT DEVICE.
Fic we want: NO SERIOUSLY, WHY WERE THEY NOT EVIL?????
... So why would someone WANT to build an evilyzer anyway? No, seriously. WHY?
On the bright side, we should get some evil Rangers out of the deal!
Astronema tells Ecliptor to test it on the Rangers (YESSSSSSSSSSS) but she has a bigger plan.
Ashley and Andros are on some planet with really heavy gravity which causes Ashley to fall over. Once they're back on the Galaxy Glider, Ashley and Andros show off for each other, and... that is not how space works. Ashley's glider gets hit by the evilizer and tries to throw her off and AGAIN, THAT IS NOT HOW SPACE WORKS.
Apparently the gliders are programmed to be good. UM. THEY ARE GLIDERS, THEY ARE NOT SENTIENT. THEY DO NOT HAVE GOOD AND EVIL SETTINGS. Although I really wouldn't be surprised if my router was permanently set to evil. So you know. Maybe I could believe this.
CASSIE, YOUR HAIR. Is this a symbol of her going evil? Because HAIR.
The Rangers morph because there's some disturbance in Angel Grove, since there's some monster. They shoot at it, and then it vanishes, only to be met by TWO monsters. And then more monsters. Astronema makes one of them grow, while the others are apparently tough to defeat even while they're small.
Andros summons his new toy and Astronema uses the evilyzer to turn it evil. Look, I don't care about evil Zords, I wanted EVIL RANGERS. HOW DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT THIS WITH NO EVIL RANGERS.
The Delta Megazord starts destroying the city, and man, the space rangers are going to have a lot to explain. They should call Tommy for some tips. Andros decides that the smartest way to fight an evil Zord is to summon the OTHER zord. Andros orders the Delta Megazord to stop being evil, and it looks like it works, but the evil!Zord is smarter then they are and it shoots them a lot. You go, evil!Zord.
They hit the Delta Megazord with some frequency that should jam the evil although it is overheating the Zord. The Delta Megazord heads to space and the Rangers follow it and try to link with it to find out if it's still evil. THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLAN. But for some reason it works.
The combined Megazord beats ALL the monsters by punching them. What were the monsters doing while the two Megazords were fighting? I mean, they should have helped the evil!Zord.
Astronema threatens to destroy Elgar for talking too much, which would have redeemed the episode. Sadly, it doesn't happen. Andros and Ashley find Ashley's EEEEEEEEEVIL glider, which she then fixes. The terrible trio is still running from the evil toy.
Fish: 5! WHAT A WASTED PLOT DEVICE.
Fic we want: NO SERIOUSLY, WHY WERE THEY NOT EVIL?????
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