Episode 353 - Strength of the Sun

Long time no recap. Sorry?

So Queen bansheera is all "you have failed me for the last time" to Diabolico and "I will take away your star power." Diabolico is all "worst kid, I should kill him." Then all the other monsters show up before he can. Diabolico is all "just destroy them."

Villains, I wish you were more interesting. Can we get to Ryan being emo and taking off his shirt or something?

Back at the Aquabase, Ms. Fairweather is designing something new. But there is a problem, by the name with Ryan. The new toy is useless without him. Ryan overhears, and he has a sad. Sadly, the sad doesn't include him removing his shirt.

In the cafeteria, Joel and Chad don't get why Ryan isn't allowed to morph, because the monsters are still out there. UM, MAYBE BECAUSE HE WILL DIE? A monster alert goes off, and Ryan gives everyone the saddest look, because he is a puppy, and then they leave without him. Ryan, break the curse first, THEN morph.

Anyway, the Rangers fight the monsters and the monsters are winning. I guess some of the effects are cool? I am just not emotionally invested in the fight. Dana then suggests splitting them up, so she and Kelsey lead off one of the monster/demon things. Dana then announces there's a part 2 to the plan. The monster calls them "my little pretties" and then Kelsey and Dana shoot him. (We really need more of the girls bonding!)

Back at the base, Ryan is having a sad as he watches the other guys lose. Luckily, the girls have come to the rescue. The Rangers summon weapons, but no use, and they all collapse. The monster gives an incredibly lame pun, and the monster that the girls knocked out gets up again.

Supposedly though, this is part of Carter's plan, although I have no idea when they PLANNED this plan. The monster gets close to them, and they shoot him at point blank range. (Not a bad plan!)

Diabolico makes the destroyed monster grow, and Carter summons the toys. We get the LONG zord summoning sequence. I guess the episode ran a little short? Look, if you needed to kill time, there's plenty more shots of Ryan having a sad that you could have used.

Diabolico makes the second monster grow as well. Ms. Fairweather is all "we're fucked" and Captain Mitchell starts yelling about putting all the reserves. Ryan stares at his morpher, thinks about the cobra, and then leaves to activate the new zord, and he morphs. He's going to risk himself. ♥

I'm not really sure where he got the tech skills to activate the zord. Captain Mitchell tries to order his son back, but Ryan is all "they need my help." Nobody can really argue with that. Ryan to the rescue!

Ryan has to energize the solar panels so he has to change course and head to the sun, and the tattoo on his back starts to climb again. He goes into space, fully energizes, and the his zord jumps on the Rangers back. Ms. Fairweather gives a quick explanation, while everyone is busy being super concerned for Ryan instead.

Ryan does a lot of impressive stunts and destroys a monster, but the second one hits him, and he has to fight through the pain of the cobra climbing him to take out the other one.

Everyone congratulates Ryan, but he's passed out in his cockpit from the pain. We then cut to him shirtless in the infirmary. All he has to say is that the zord is totally awesome. Then he asks Dana if their dad will be mad. As soon as Dana sees their dad coming, she's all "BYE."

Captain Awesome tells Ryan that he's proud of him, and he would have done the same thing. Ryan then rolls over, and we see how high the tattoo has climbed. It's not good. The next time he morphs will probably be the one that kills him.

Meanwhile, Diabolico is all "what, you're not sick of these monsters yet? I'm totally going to bring them back again."

Fish: 2. How do you make an episode about Ryan angst this dull?

Episode 352 - Curse of the Cobra

Let's get down to business! To recap the show!

Previously, Ryan has angst! \o/ So, true story. When I was a teenager, I used to babysit every Saturday night. And being the worst babysitter ever, I would basically plop the kids in front of the TV, and watch something from their (fairly awesome) video collection.

Anyway, they had these two episodes, and we watched them a lot. (They were the only episodes of LR I'd seen, actually, since the Lost Galaxy airing schedule had gotten me out of PR for a while.)

Anyway! Let's talk about the possessed by an evil snake tattoo that's going to slither up his body and necessitate a lot of shirtless scenes. Show, how are you so great? (Why couldn't the whole season be about that?) (And I don't even HAVE a tattoo kink, but the hurt/comfort and the angst and the issues and this was tailor made for me, seriously.)

(My flail at the end of the last episode when he got the evil snake tattoo? Yeah, I love these episodes. A LOT.)

Anyway! We start with the villains gossiping and recapping previous events. Then Diabolico gives the monsters a new toy.

Back on the Aquabase, Captain Awesome is explaining to Ryan how great Ms. Fairweather is. And then he's all "there is actual training!" I appreciate that the team actually has to work on this whole being a Ranger thing. Captain Awesome tells Ryan how proud he is of him, and Ryan is all "yay!" but then as soon as his dad leaves he strips off his shirt and stares at the tattoo. Oh, Ryan. You need all the hugs. Don't worry, Carter will volunteer soon!

We get a flashback to Diabolico disintegrating Ryan's shirt and pushing him up against a pillar and giving him the cursed tattoo (yesssss) and then Carter spies on shirtless Ryan because he loves him. Carter is speechless at the sight of Ryan's body tattoo, but then instead of going to train, a monster attacks.

The team grabs their jackets and head out and morph. There's a fight and some cool gymnastics and then Ryan is in pain as the tattoo begins to slither up his body, and he falls off a building, writhing on the ground in agony, and seriously, best episode. Carter rushes to his side, but Ryan insists he's fine, but Carter can actually see the tattoo moving, even through his suit. Then the monsters use the new toy to make a copy of the villain.

... For a second I wasn't sure if I was writing hurt/comfort fic or recapping the episode. I love when that happens.

Anyway, fight happens, and then Carter shoots from the hip, which is pretty cool, and then some toys are brought out. The Rangers get knocked down, but they get up again, and then Ryan falls to his knees.

Carter realizes that if they hurt demonite, they hurt his clone also, and then Carter announces that he has a plan. Ryan forcibly demorphs and clutches at his back, while the monster mocks him.

The other Rangers keep running around and play hide and seek among the containers with the monster, and we see that they're on the roof of them.  The monsters realize this, and shoot at them, but it was a trick so that Carter can threaten the monster. The monster is all "at this distance, you'll blow yourself up, too." Then we flash to Ryan's agonized face, and then Carter decides not to blow up the monster? This makes no sense at all. Their whole purpose is to blow up monsters. Anyway, the monster is all "well, if you won't destroy me, I'll destroy you" and then Carter shoots him and blows him up anyway. So.... what was the point of that?

Everyone assumes that Carter is dead, and then Joel is all "look, he's fine!" He does have Red Ranger immunity, anyway. There are some hugs, and Dana holds the collapsing Carter.

Diabolico makes the destroyed Demonite  monster grow, and the zords are summoned. Could we go back to Ryan, please? Anyway, then they call the other zords. They blow up the monster. I do love that the Super Train Megazord is SO MUCH TALLER than the monster. Then they blow it up.

Diabolico is very upset that Demonite has been destroyed, but the other two villains are all "it's cool, we'll handle it."

Meanwhile, shirtless!Ryan is staring at his back in the mirror again, and Carter has come to see him. Carter is all "Ryan, I stared at your naked back." Ryan tells Carter its a going away present from Diabolico, and when Carter pushes, Ryan tells him the truth as long as he promises not to tell anyone. He doesn't want to be grounded, because being a Ranger is important to him.

Of course, it turns out that his dad is listening outside. he tells Ryan that until something is figured out, Ryan isn't to morph. His dad points out that he lost him once, and he can't lose him again.

BEST EPISODE. I mean, except for the part that makes no sense. STILL. BEST EPISODE.

Fish: 2! Okay, it probably deserves more than that, but we were pretty distracted and didn't care that much.

Episode 351 - Ryan's Destiny

Today on Power Rangers, more Ryan angst! I wholeheartedly approve.

So there is an intruder on the base and there are alarms and flashy lights and loud voices screaming out INTRUDER ALERT. But it's just Ryan. Being all emo. Looking very sad and distraught. The worst security ever takes forever to get there, but it's okay, because it's just Ryan and he just wants to see his dad.

He came to say goodbye, apparently, because he is now in the middle of an existential crisis. Oh Ryan. Don't ever smile or look happy. I love you when you're all tortured.

Captain Awesome Mitchell tries to convince him to stay, tries to convince him that he's a good person (with an OCEAN OF GOODNESS, oh god writers, please). Ryan won't stay, so Captain Mitchell gives him a shiny little box instead and basically tells him to open it when he stops being Tortured Soul Emo. I really kind of hope that never happens.

Bad Guys are having a rough time because they can't beat the Power Rangers. The baby is next in line to get the job done and it's actually used as a threat. That's right, they're going to have THE BABY beat the rangers. Well, not really, but it's a serious threat that they take seriously and seriously consider other alternatives. Seriously. It's kind of ridiculous. I... admit to forgetting pretty much everything about these bad guys as soon as they are off my screen. They are boring and it's so hard to remember when there is Ryan Angst all over the place.

Speaking of, Tortured Soul Emo Ryan finds a feather (a feather bomb, actually, because it's from the Bad Guys and not an actual bird) and watches small people and actually smiles. Stop smiling, Ryan. He gets a ball for a little boy and convinces him his kid sister really isn't all that bad and they have to stick together. He gives them the feather he found and the little girl is happy and the little boy is happy and Ryan is happy and I don't think that's going to end well.

He gets good advice from a random lady at the bus stop, who tells him to follow his heart, and then winks at him. It's weird. But at least he's polite enough to let others go ahead of him when he's indecisive. Meanwhile the rangers are fighting the Bad Guy Threesome which sounds way more awesome than it actually is.

The Rangers realize the feathers are bombs and smartly get it out to the news, which Ryan overhears at the bus stop. He remembers giving the feather to the boy to give to his sister. The bus driver is waiting, but Ryan runs away. He has to get that feather back. Ryan finally catches up to the family, drops all his stuff, and manages to snatch the feather just as the sun is setting. He grabs the feather, flings it over the bridge, and shields the family as it explodes. Ryan the Tortured Soul Emo HERO!

He realizes he really is a good guy and opens the shiny box. Inside is the Titanium Morpher. Yay we get more Titanium Ass! He rushes to the main fight where his sister and friends are trying (and failing) to beat the Bad Guy Threesome. He morphs - TITANIUM AAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS - and it is super great. He totally wins at everything.

Captain Awesome is super proud. You just know he had a really hard time explaining why he handed over the morpher to an ex-baddie, which would be the Best Fic Ever, but he did it anyway. Because he knew it's what Ryan needed. And he is the best dad this show has ever had.  Dana is super happy to see her brother and hugs him and cries and it's great. They even give him a jacket when they get back to base. Because he is part of the team now. Even though he is still Tortured Soul Emo Titanium Ass and has nightmares. Lots and lots of nightmares. Nightmares where he is stripped shirtless (yes, please), thrown against a pillar (yes, please, again), and branded with a cobra tattoo, which will squeeze him until he dies. That's right, UNTIL HE DIES. Every time he morphs, he'll get closer and closer to death.

He wakes up to realize it wasn't a nightmare. He has a cobra on his back.


2 fish. It was a little boring, but all the Tortured Soul Emo Titanium Ass makes up for just about anything.

Fic we want: Captain Mitchell explaining to the Lightspeed Board why he gave Ryan, his ex-and-maybe-still-a-little-bit evil son, the Titanium Morpher. That isn't really working well on humans in the first place and is super powerful and strong enough to take down their only line of defense.

Episode 350 - Truth Discovered

Today on Power Rangers, Dana discovers her brother is still alive and we get a fine piece of Titanium Ass.

It's exposition time! Captain Mitchell flashes back to the car accident that supposedly took his son's life. He was driving them home from his mother's house, both children in the backseat, when a big rig runs them off the road. The children were playing with new toys in the backseat DISTURBINGLY UNRESTRAINED. Seriously, not a seatbelt in sight and frankly, both were small enough to be in boosters, even for that time period. Baby!Dana could even have been in a harness (by today's standards). Captain Mitchel manages to make it out of the car as it plummets over the cliff, and he's got both children clinging to him. He's holding tightly to a root and Dana is holding him tightly. Baby!Ryan is slipping, unable to hold to his leg. Ryan is about to fall and Spirit!Diabolico shows up, says he'll save the boys life, but the boy will belong to him. Captain Mitchell initially says no, but then Ryan lets go and falls, and Captain Mitchell cries out for Diabolico to save his son. He does so, but takes Ryan with him, promising Ryan will vanish until his twentieth birthday.

Back in present time, everybody has a sad over the heartbreaking story and really, poor Dana, what a way to find out your brother is still alive.

Meanwhile, Diabolico tells Ryan all about that night and how his father was going to let him die and Diabolico saved him. How Captain Mitchell only loved Dana and tossed Ryan away like trash. AND OMG THIS WHOLE STORY IS THE BEST THING EVER. MAJOR DADDY ISSUES FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

So it's Ryan's twentieth birthday and that means he's back with a vengeance and a super nice Titanium Ass. Captain Mitchell is understandably distracted. He won't look at reports. Barely acknowledges his subordinates. Then disappears to look for Ryan. Ryan is super focused though, because he crumples up a picture he had of himself, Dana, and their father, then says Captain Mitchell will live to regret being such a crummy father. Oh Ryan! OH I LOVE YOU ALREADY YOU ANGRY, MISGUIDED HOT ASS!

Dana decides to go find them and leaves the other rangers behind. They are understandably not happy about it. She finds her brother and confronts him, surprised to discover his anger and misconceptions about their childhood. There is a pretty epic fight between the siblings and okay, so maybe I only care about it because of the awesome childhood angsty dialogue, but whatever. It's amazeballs.

Dana refuses to hurt him. She insists her father loved Ryan, tells him about their childhood and how he wanted to grow up to be a firefighter just like their dad, and then the others show up just as Ryan starts to remember. He runs off, unable to continue fighting his sister.

Monster of the week shows up and I don't care because HE doesn't have sibling angst and is therefor irrelevant to this episode (as far as I'm concerned). Fight fight, monster grows, all the toys, yada yada, you know how this plays out.

Back to Ryan! Just as it should be! He's having angst at the edge of the cliff where the car crashed. Captain Mitchell shows up and realizes Ryan doesn't remember. He tells him exactly what happened and Ryan struggles with the fuzzy memory he has of that night and what he's been told all these past twelve(ish) years by Diabolico. IT IS FULL OF ANGST AND WIN AND I LOVE IT SO VERY MUCH.

HE PUSHES HIS FATHER OVER THE EDGE. Because he is sure his father let him fall. They both go tumbling and Captain Mitchell grabs hold of that same root. Ryan clings to his hand and Captain Mitchell cries for him to hold on, that he can save him, and Ryan REMEMBERS. HE FINALLY REMEMBERS! And then he pulls himself up to grasp the root, too, but it can't support them both, so Captain Mitchell smiles and lets go. Ryan just got his Daddy back and he's having none of this sacrificial heroic shit, so he falls, morphs, and catches his father on the way down.

SHOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW CAN YOU BE SO PERFECT??????

Captain Mitchell apologizes. He would have given his life to save Ryan's, and that's true, that's so totally true, because I GET IT. I DO. He doesn't want to lose him, and it's all tearful and heartfelt and the others are there and THIS IS SO HARD GUYS. Ryan drops the Titanium Morpher and runs away. Because he's scared and hurt and so very very confused. But he'll be back. Because he's Sixth Ranger Titanium Ass.

He has to go confront Diabolico, because he remembers what happened. He knows how it all went down. It's glorious. And his revenge will be epicly sweet. Oh yes.

2 fish. And okay, so there is the off-the-fish-scale question of how Diabolico was able to save Ryan, what with being all IMPRISONED and all, but frankly, I really don't care about that big gaping school of fish. Because the rest of this episode is GOLD.

Episode 346 - Up to the Challenge

Hey, it's 2013! We live! Time for recaps and hopefully an actual schedule! So today we have an episode about Chad and Kelsey as BFFs! Yay!

we open with a lovely underwater diving scene, and then Chad waking up Kelsey for breakfast. He's an early riser, apparently, and she doesn't get it. She's grumpy, because morning. Although to be fair, I would also wake up early to swim with fish. But maybe not every day. That's overkill. And also I hate waking up early.

So Chad is going to teach Kelsey something new, and seriously, most adorable. Meanwhile, the villains are plotting something I don't particularly care about, because can we get back to how adorable Chad and Kelsey are?

Anyway, the new thing that Chad is teaching Kelsey is Tai Chi at the VR Troopers temple of Ryan angst. She's bad at it, and would much rather be skateboarding. He's all "well, inner calm! You could need it!" And then she blows up at him and he rambles apologies at her and MOST ADORABLE and they mock fight.

Then some asshat shows up on a motorcycle, who recognizes them as the Power rangers. Chad introduces them, and the guy is all "and I bet you suck" and challenges them to a fight. Kelsey encourages Chad to fight, but Chad is all "I don't need to prove myself to anyone" because he has inner calm and is also great.

So, totally a downside of public identities. I wonder how many barfights the public ID rangers get into when they get attacked by drunk assholes who just want to say they fought a Power Ranger. WHO IS WRITING ME THAT FIC.

Anyway, the guy attacks him, and Chad totally schools him and knocks him down. Asshole's girlfriend is not impressed at all, and then Chad and Kelsey have to run off to help a battle.

Some nonsense happens with zords and a rescue (and seriously, are there really no police or emergency workers at ALL in this city?) and Kelsey does some stunt that has Carter give her helmet a noogie. Then a monster shows up.

Asshat is on his bike somewhere and he sees the fight. The monster goes into some building and Kelsey is now "AND I SHOOT THINGS NOW" and Chad is all "USE YOUR BRAINS, KELSEY" and then the building explodes. Oops.

Kelsey is injured and is all "oh, is that what you meant by not getting over excited?" and then she passes out dramatically in Chad's arms. Meanwhile, asshole guy spies on the monsters and then he's all "I want to learn how to destroy the Blue Ranger from you" and then Vypra does some spell and he calls her MISTRESS and has glowy eyes and THIS IS GREAT. (He so has a crush on Chad.)

Kelsey is still unconscious and Chad is blaming himself. Joel points out that nobody can stop Kelsey. Because Kelsey.

Asshole guy (Brian, apparently) challenges Chad to a fight while the other three Rangers go to fight the monster.

Vypra watches Brian train, while Chad shows up and is like "I'm going to get you out of here" and Brian attacks Chad. We get some GREAT unmorphed fighting. (This is why you should hire martial artists, show. Didn't Chad train Jacob from Twilight or something?)

Meanwhile, Ms. Fairweather catches Kelsey trying to go help. She knows better than to try and stop Kelsey, and instead gives her a new toy. Kelsey hugs her and calls her Ms. F. (AND I SHIP THEM NOW) and Ms. Fairweather starts to tell Kelsey to be careful, and instead switches to "try and bring it back in one piece." BECAUSE SHE KNOWS KELSEY SO WELL.

Kelsey brings the new toy to rescue the other Rangers (who are tied up with tentacle things)  and we go back to the Chad vs Brian fight. WHICH IS GREAT. Vypra is all disappointed that Brian sucks. Chad extends his hand to Brian to get him away, but Chad is grabbed by Batlings instead. Brian suddenly has a crisis of conscience about fighting Chad (and seriously, Vypra, why not just kill Chad yourself?) and attacks the Batlings instead.

Chad and Brian become friends and Chad tells him he doesn't have to prove himself to anyone, and then Chad goes to show up to fight the monster. Monster blows up and... no zord fight? REALLY? YAY.

Later, Chad and Kelsey are doing tai chi again, and Brian is teaching little kids martial arts. Kelsey is impressed. Now Kelsey is all "I have to teach YOU something now" and then Chad is confronted by a hot girl (who hits a tennis ball at them). Kelsey decides she will teach Chad to talk to girls. Honey, I'm not so sure he's interested. STILL. ADORABLE.

Fish: 2!

Episode 343 - A Matter of Trust

You know what sucks? The flu. You know what sucks even more? PNEUMONIA. I have been sick for the ENTIRE MONTH. It has sucked, and left me too exhausted to do ANYTHING, but now I've (basically recovered.)

Anyway, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for all of you who are reading this blog! And I am thankful for my wonderful coblogger, , and I am thankful for Power Rangers. ♥

So. Lightspeed Resscue. Lets do this. I have no Dana icon, and no Captain Awesome icon, so Carter's face will have to do.

We open in a briefing where Captain Awesome is telling the team about a super powerful fuel cell that is extremely powerful and also sensitive. The team (except for Dana) is going to go to the airport and pick up the doctor and escort the doctor and the fuel cell to the base for safety.

Meanwhile, Dana is told that she's going to be escorting her father's old friend around. She suggests that he just call him a taxi because she needs to be with the other rangers. He tells her that she has her assignment, and she's understandably furious. She says he claims he trusts her to be the Pink Ranger, but instead, all he sees her as is his little girl.

Which, yeah. That is how parents are! And this is super realistic and great, because she's an adult now and wants to be seen as one, and also being given that assignment with no explanation has to be grating (even though it's totally obvious that she's guarding the real fuel cell from the beginning, and MAYBE her father could have just told her that) but having the conflict between the newly grown daughter and the father is a wonderful character touch and I love it.

The demons are all "so we'll steal the fuel cell" and then the baby monster creates a monster. Is he related to Finster? Is there an AU where Finster was one of these demons?

The four Rangers get the guy off the helicopter, and start escorting him to safety. Meanwhile, Dana gets to take the condescending old guy who hugs her without permission fishing, and because she's "Such a good girl" she can drive the truck. Stop being a condescending asshole, guy. That's really not charming at all.

Of course, there's no way that the four Rangers will make it to safety WITHOUT being attacked, so they're now trying to fight the monster and the ridiculous adorable bat things without jostling the super powerful thing.

Carter calls for Dana to help, and Dana says she's on her way, but the Captain counteracts the order and demands that she return to the base immediately. The monster grabs the box away from the others and opens it, and it turns out that the fuel cell isn't in there! The monster, being the smartest, realizes that as there are only four Rangers there, the Pink Ranger must be guarding the real box.

Since the Rangers won't tell the monster where the real fuel cell is (and why do monsters want a fuel cell, anyway?) the monster uses the power of the sun to BURN THE CITY. That is pretty traumatic. I hope that Mariner Bay has really good insurance. Does this count as an act of god? Do you need separate monster insurance?

Anyway, Dana and her dad's friend get hit, and the box starts to spill and some ice comes out. He runs to fill up the box with more ice, and Dana realizes that her dad actually DID trust her and believe in her, and then of course they get attacked by Vypra.

Dana leads the guy and the fuel cell away while  the other Rangers fight the monster and Batlings on a roof. Dana uses her medical skills to fix the guy's arm, and he tells her that she looks just like her mother, and that her mother would be very proud of her. I love ridiculously touching moments, but maybe wait until after Vypra isn't attacking you?

Too bad they don't have teleporters. Of course, if they did, this whole episode would be pointless. (Unless the fuel cell can't be teleported?)

Dana manages to get away from Vypra and escort the fuel cell to safety. (I'm not sure how? Did they swim? Was there a submarine waiting for them? Did the fish carry them?) She then immediately asks permission to go help the other Rangers, who are getting their butts kicked. Of course, Dana is super awesome and shows up to help.

There's a fight scene and then they blow up the monster, which of course manages to grow. Dana summons the zords, which then blows up the monster without any real problems.

Back on the base, Dana goes to see her dad so she can apologize to him for what she said. She's still not sure that her father doesn't see her as a child. Her dad tells her that he's been training her for years, and she so deserves to be a Ranger, but he'll always see her as his little girl. She tells him that she's proud to be a Ranger, but she also loves being his little girl.

I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH. That is a SUPER realistic father&daughter relationship, and I adore EVERYTHING about it.

Fish: 2. Only because we still have no idea how they got from the pier to the base.

Episode 341 - Trial By Fire

Today on Power Rangers, we get our Red Learns to be a Leader episode. We start out with Kelsey taking everybody rock climbing. They mock each other and tell funny stories about stupid things they did when they were kids. Fireman Sam Carter says he didn't always want to be a firefighter and then starts to tell a story. It's apparently sad, because he stops before he really gets anywhere. They get called to the training field and have to be all military and saluting and stuff. So much for rock climbing, I guess. There is a big training montage that I just can't hate, even though it makes no sense for what these people were like as civilians. Like, seriously, vaulting so artfully over that wall? Not gonna happen. I do love that they really have to train hard though. Right down to rescuing civilians and medical care on babies. CPR is important to know, even for a Power Ranger! And their weapons training involves lots of paintball, which is always great. Carter apparently was the fastest but got the lowest score because he didn't use his brain, he just shot at the targets. I like this! He has to be able to see the safest way out of any situation and just shooting all the bad guys isn't always it. I can see the argument that Captain Mitchell should have told him why he basically failed. But honestly, given the fact that Carter is basically an adult, and not a cocky badass, frankly I think that wouldn't be giving him enough credit. Nor would it have been a lesson that would have really stuck with him. He needs to find the answer himself, with minimal guidance. He has to work through the steps on his own before he can figure out what he did wrong and what he'll need to do better next time. On the Bad Guy ship, baby creature is upset by... something the monsters are talking about? I don't get it. They decide to destroy things from the ground up and cause what appears to be an earthquake, except of course Lightspeed Rescue knows better. They confront Vypra who has her goons hammering... things?... into the ground in a warehouse. I do not see the point. Anyway, Vypra can't act to save her life so this scene just hurts. Like, wow. She's not just bland, she's BAD. Carter has to jump in to save the people shopping nearby from the bad acting. He puts himself between them and her, but doesn't take into consideration that this warehouse is full of explosive chemicals. Vypra does, and manages to set everything on fire. Carter is ordered to put the fire out first, but he wants to rescue the people from the collapsing ceiling. He does as he's told and saves things from exploding, but does not manage to save a Tiny Child from the falling concrete. Joel rushes in to take the kid to a hospital. Which was actually a bad idea. He should have immobilized the boy's spine and waited for the ambulance. You don't move people with head injuries. Carter rushes back to base and yells at the Captain. He insists he was wrong to listen and should have rescued them. It takes everything Captain Mitchell has to not point out all the explosive chemicals that would have killed everybody instead of just causing one little boy to get hurt. Carter will have to learn this for himself. He goes to visit the little boy in the hospital and apologizes. He tells him the story he started to tell before. He was trapped in a fire (school? apartment? I can't tell). The fireman comes in to rescue him, tries to get him out, and then stops a beam from falling on them. The fireman insists Carter runs away, out of the fire, and into the arms of another fireman. He knows he'll never be that good, but he wants to. He wants to be that strong. It's only then he goes back to the training room where he shot all the paintballs. It's only then he sees the explosive containers and realizes he shot one. It's only then he runs back to the warehouse and sees the containers of gasoline. Then he realizes what he could have done. Captain Mitchell gives a poor inspirational speech about being a leader. This guys is AMAZING. He knows how to teach the important lessons. Carter wouldn't have really learned it if he hadn't been able to puzzle it out for himself. He has to be able to apply that to every situation, not just the obvious one. I am seriously impressed. There is another fight, Carter questions his use as a leader, but leads anyway. It's kind of boring. Carter apparently really likes to shoot stuff. This seems to be his solution to everything. This is probably why it was so important he learn that shooting things is not always the best solution. They win. Duh. Carter goes back to visit the little boy. He's not in his bed and Carter is all sad thinking something really bad happened. But the little boy was just up and about having a walk and he stops Carter. Says thank you and tells him he's okay because of Carter. Then he says he wants to grow up to be just like Carter. My little heart melts. And apparently so does Carter's. 2 fish. Really not bad. I also approve of Captain Mitchell's teaching methods.

Episode 339 - Operation Lightspeed

Yay new season! I think I've seen one or two episodes of this season? I don't remember anything about it though, so maybe I didn't. I might just have absorbed it via osmosis. So I'm going into this knowing NOTHING. I can tell you this. I may not exactly like the theme song, but I dig the opening because it shows everybody being a badass OUTSIDE of being rangers. So we start off a brand new season in the desert. There are a bunch of stereotypes walking along with a camel. They find some ruins. These ruins do some Suspicious Ancient Magic-y Things. This bothers me and is not a good way to start out a brand new season. Our Walking Stereotypes end up in some tomb where they are raiding it for treasure. They open a chest and it starts shaking. One of them wants to run in terror. The other convinces them to stay and take what they can. The chest emits a blue light that knocks them out, then spirits fly around and basically kill them. Somehow the flying spirits make it from Stereotypical Middle Eastern Desert to Generic American Oceanside City. In what appears to be a secret military organization, a young woman reports that "they have escaped" and suddenly Guy In Charge, Captain Mitchell, decides to "bring them in". He is apparently her father. We meet Joel first. He is left-handed! Yay lefties! He is apparently a cowboy stunt pilot. Secret Military Men in Black bring him in. Then we meet a rock climber, who I am informed is called Kelsey. She is wearing bright yellow pants. Gee, I wonder what colour she'll be. She is pretty badass. Men in Black are waiting for her at the top and tell her she's going with them. She cops an attitude and will have none of it. Next we meet Chad. He is a whale trainer! He is already my favourite. Because I have a thing for whale trainers. He's also adorable. We'll see if he has a personality or not. Last but not least we meet Fireman Carter. He rushes into a burning building, grabs a little girl, and sees one of those spirit things. It shoots fire at them. He manages to dive out of a window with the kid, saving her life. He is recruited by the young woman from before, with her own Men in Black guard. Clearly he will be the Red Ranger. Also, y'know, fireman. He should totally be Captain America. So they're all shoved in a little helicopter and flown over the ocean to a submarine. I kept expecting the soundtrack to Jurassic Park to start playing. Then they go to an underwater colony where the secret military organization is based. It's almost as cool as Seaquest. But not nearly as cool as the Helicarrier. Joel accuses Captain Mitchell of kidnapping him and is irritating. He kind of grates on my nerves here. I hope he gets better. I don't dig the cowboy thing, but I like greens so... maybe. We'll see. Captain Mitchell convinces them all to sit down and tells them about how 5,000 years ago the world was inhabited by demons, capture, entombed, and buried. They have prepared for the escape of the demons by creating ranger powers and sitting on them for awhile. They hand picked these kids to combat the demons. Joel thinks it's crazy and goes to leave again. Carter speaks up that he saw something. Joel sits back down. There is a report of the city being attacked and suddenly everybody is all "Yeah, okay, I'll be a Lightspeed Power Ranger". I kind of dig that they all had a choice to volunteer for this thing? Then Captain Mitchell's daughter gets the pink morpher. He's apparently been training her for this HER WHOLE LIFE. And that kind of bothers me a little? Because, well, what if she didn't want it? Did he allow her to cultivate her own interests or just push her to Super Secret Military Stuff? Poor kid. She was groomed, not reared. They take their morphers and leave the underwater base in a HUMMER. They had to be flown in, but they can just leave in a Hummer? What was the point of the dramatic helicopter ride? Whatever, there are people being attacked by black spandex wearing goons wearing TINY ADORABLE BAT WINGS. I think I like these guys. I also like that all the rangers TOTALLY FAIL AT FIGHTING. Because they aren't fighters. They're just strong personalities. So they morph and it's kind of... well different I guess. Boring, but different. Yellow does not have a skirt on her morphed suit, but pink does. Was yellow male in Sentai? I know nothing. There is a fight. It is boring. They win, though, and that's nice. They demorph in front of a bunch of people. So I'm guessing this is NOT a secret identity thing? Captain Mitchell kind of kills their buzz because he warns them there are more monsters to come and they'll be fighting for a long time. He's pretty bad at the whole "inspirational" thing. Everybody awkwardly salutes, except his daughter, because I get the feeling she's been saluting him her whole entire life. I have a lot of questions about this episode, but I will let them mostly slide because it's first episode of a brand new season. Like, how did they know about the demons? What made them decide to create the morphers when they did? If this was 5,000 years ago, this was post Zordon. So what was he doing? Also, who the hell opens a cursed chest? And keeps opening it when it does weird crazy things that chests should not be able to do? Also, if Dana has been trained for this for the past 18 YEARS, why is she not red? Carter has no training whatsoever to be a Ranger. Dana was freaking GROOMED FOR THE JOB. She should be red. 2 fish. Not bad for an opener.

Episode 331 - Until Sunset

is going to Power Morphicon! Or at least I am! (Seriously, California, why so far away?) The point is, I will be at Power Morphicon, and you should come say hello to me! This will also be our last recap until after Morphicon. So. Right. I'm recapping a recap episode. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one thing to say about this episode - Leo and Damon are tied up. They've been beaten up. And for some reason, there is a SAD LACK of hurt/comfort fic that takes place after this episode. People taking care of them! Dehydration! SERIOUSLY, FANDOM. HURT/COMFORT FIC. They could take care of each other! The other Rangers could take care of them! They could assure the other Rangers that it isn't there fault! The point is, there should be some cradling and hugs and ridiculous hurt/comfort. (See also my feelings about canon slavery, and why is there no ridiculous AU? I AM JUST SAYING, FANDOM. WHERE IS THE FIC?) I mean. The rest of it is... okay, it's a clip show. Let's go over all of their adventures. I get that they need to save the budget or whatever to stretch this out another episode, but it's pretty dull. Anyway, we open with Leo and Damon being chased by the pirate mooks and Deviot. After the excessive fight scenes of the last episode, I couldn't care less. But somehow we manage to SKIP OVER them being captured, which would have been a GREAT FIGHT SCENE, and instead we skip directly to Leo and Damon being chained up in the hot desert sun, and seriously, will the villains please get out of the way of the camera blocking the very pretty men who are chained up? Deviot is all "I want to kill them now" but for some reason they're waiting until Captain Mutiny gets there in a few hours (at sunset, hence the title) so instead they leave them all alone and tied up. That is a FAIL PLAN. However, I can't express in words how much I approve of the framing device of this episode. Leo is all "we shouldn't have come" and Damon is like "shouldn't you have said that before?" Except it turns out that both Leo and Damon forgot to tell the others which planet they were going to end up on, because they are totally failbots. Damon is mocking Leo for always getting in trouble, which Leo denies, so we get a recap of how Leo ended up on Terra Venture. Then Damon makes fun of Kai for being crazy. Seriously, I love them all. More recaps follow, with them getting the swords, the "death" of Mike, and Leo getting the last saber. We get more shots of Leo and Damon all sweaty and chained up, and then we recap the Magna Defender and his epic cape. This leads into the Mike Defender recap, and Damon mocks the Magna Defender, which is always A+ in my book. Also, his swishy dramatic cape is great. The next set of recaps is just a montage showing how great they are, before the camera lovingly lingers all over the chained up Damon and Leo. The boys are starting to get seriously dehydrated, and now they discuss the villains. The best part of this entire sequence is when they talk about how cute Trakeena is (WHY isn't there more Trakeena/Damon in the world??? Why?) Then we go on to the Psycho Rangers and team-up episode, and the death of Kendrix, which is very sad. :( Leo says its the worst thing that ever happened to them, although five minutes earlier he said losing his brother was the worst. I guess the heat is getting to him. Then we get the Karone is awesome montage, and then we get to the Lost Galaxy part. We finally get to sunset, and Captain Mutiny shows up to gawk at the chained up Rangers. I approve of how their shirts are artfully torn. Both boys try to sacrifice themselves in exchange for the other, but at that point the other Rangers finally show. Damon and Leo morph, and they fight one of the monsters. Leo's fugly armor is still fugly. Leo and Damon argue over which of them is responsible for not telling the others, and Leo claims that the lesson he learned is to wear sunscreen. Then Damon and Leo have a moment about sacrificing themselves for each other and blaming it on delirium. This entire episode was a waste of time, and the only good part was the hurt/comfort fic that should exist because of this. Fish: 2. It was just a clip show, and we did get chained up Leo and Damon, so points for that. Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER. CAN YOU TELL?

Episode 320 - Loyax's Last Battle

This episode recap is dedicated to a dear friend who we lost this last weekend. RIP, Kim. We love you, and we lost you way too soon. And you will always be remembered for the good you did, and the wonderful friend that you were. We didn't plan the timing of this episode, but in some ways it ended up being oddly appropriate. Maya and Damon are sparring in the forest dome, and it's great and is clearly leading up to some sparring sex. Maya knocks Damon down, and then Leo makes the mistake of saying "pretty well for a girl" and raaaaaaaaaaaaaaage. Meanwhile, the assorted villains are talking about an honorable old warrior named Loyax. Loyax is all "I'm old, but I want to go out in battle against a worthy opponent." Basically. Clearly going up against the Power Rangers would be a glorious ending, and well, that is true. (Of course, if he defeats them, then how is that an ending? I mean. Really. Logic. Use some.) Loyax starts smashing things in the ocean dome, and I'm not even sure why we still bother to comment on things like an ocean dome, because um, look, Terra Venture makes no sense at all. I could ALMOST buy the forest and mountains, but OCEAN. I guess the fish need somewhere to live. Anyway, Maya is taking the lead in the fight, and Leo is all "no, fight me instead" but Maya is all "Hell no." Loyax and Maya end up falling off a cliff into the ocean. And again. OCEAN. ON A SPACE SHIP. None of the Rangers are able to find Maya, and Trakeena also assumes that Loyax has been destroyed. Meanwhile, Loyax and Maya are in a cave. Maya has a cut on her leg, and as we know from the Turbo movie, that is fatal. Loyax is rambling all of his emo at Maya, and going on about what a horrible ending this is. Loyax then offers to heal Maya, even though they're enemies. Loyax is all "to survive, we must work together" since he can't see as well as she can in the dark, and she can't walk. So he carries her out of the cave, with her giving directions, and I don't understand how they ended up in the cave in the first place, considering they FELL INTO THE OCEAN. As soon as they're out of the cave, Loyax drops her and is all "going to defeat you now, girl." Deviot is all "I'm going to make sure you win" and Loyax is pissed because his last battle will be an honorable one. Of course, Maya is having a harder time of it since she's injured, but she manages to impress Loyax anyway. When Deviot is about to destroy Loyax over his honor, Maya rescues him, and Ranger and "villain" go off together. Loyax once again is all "ready to battle? It will be a fair fight." Maya is meanwhile trying to convince him that they don't need to fight, but instead Loyax tells her his life story. Apparently at one point he fought on the side of good, but at some point he ended up serving the same evil he once sought to destroy. And now he feels that all that is left is one last battle - with Maya. The other four Rangers go up against Deviot, while Maya continues to argue with Loyax. She initially refuses to fight, but ends up morphing. The two separate fights are actually pretty entertaining, I'll give them that. While the four Rangers are busy, Deviot sneaks off to deal with Loyax, who is still fighting with Maya. Maya is doing pretty great - I love episodes where the female Rangers get to be awesome. Maya keeps on arguing with Loyax that they can end the battle, but he continues to refuse. She beats him, but refuses to kill him, because he can be good again. Just when Loyax is about to take her hand and agree, Deviot attacks Loyax and forces him to grow. Deviot is also controlling Loyax via remote control. This obviously gets the other Rangers attention, and its time to summon the fugly zords. Since they need more help, they summon even more Zords, although there is no sign of the Emo Defender. The Rangers manage to destroy the control device, and Loyax snaps that nobody will ever make him be evil again. He starts to attack Deviot, but one last control is activated, and Loyax is destroyed right after thanking Maya for showing him the truth. Back on the beach of the ocean dome, Maya finds Loyax's sword. She tells the sword that Loyax won the last battle - by providing that he was still good. She plants the sword in the sand, and the five Rangers go off together. Fish: 2. And really, only because OCEAN DOME? REALLY?

Episode 309 - Destined For Greatness

So Mike and his beautifully floppy hair are back!

Everyone is toasting Mike (oooh, champagne, want some) and Leo tells Mike that he knew he had survived. Mike has SUCH A SAD about it and recaps the whole Magna Defender arch again, because... it isn't like we just watched it? Okay, admittedly there was like four months between episodes or something. But now EVERYONE has a sad about the Magna Defender. Mike wonders how he is going to explain where he was, and everyone laughs, except for Leo, who has a sad.

Trakeena is sulking about how she can't battle the Rangers, and how her dad never lets her do anything. But he has a new plan, that is going to involve kidnapping, so you know I am all over this.

Leo is staring at the Quasar saber and having a sad, and Kendrix drives over in the cute little car. Leo is apparently waiting for Mike, and Kendrix isn't sure why Leo has a sad, when he has his brother back. Luckily, she is smart, and figures out that he's having the sad about which one of them is destined to use the saber, since Mike DID pull it from the stone and all.

Mike is all "life is short, smell the flowers, life needs to mean something" etc, and Leo is about to tell him about all the feelings, when there's an attack. We get some unmorphed fighting, which makes me really happy, and then the other four Rangers get kidnapped and caught in some mirrors or something. Leo gets injured (but one that sadly does not result in shirtlessness) and Mike forces them to retreat. He is totally protecting his little brother. ♥

Leo yells at Mike for making them retreat, but Mike is all "don't worry, my dog tags are magic tracking devices and I put one on a stingwinger" because apparently they're made out of a special metal and are the only ones on the station. Mike and Leo track down the monsters while the Rangers' energy is being used to make finger puppets that grow. We get some more unmorphed fighting!

During the fight, the saber gets knocked out of Leo's hands, and Mike picks it up, and hands it to him. Leo tells Mike that Mike deserves it, but Mike is all "no, you are the red ranger now." They argue about destiny and who is the one that deserves the sword, and it's pretty sweet and touching, and awww, boys!

Leo uses the saber to destroy one of the skeleton things, and Mike is all "there is no other red ranger" and while I'm sure there are 17 others who would argue with that, it is a very sweet moment.

Mike and Leo continue the unmorphed fighting for a while, and then the monster yells "you don't know who you're dealing with" and Leo replies "neither do you" and then shoots fireballs at him. It is so DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY and I love it. The other Rangers are able to escape, and it looks like Kendrix and Leo are about to make out. The five Rangers morphs and Mike is all "my brother and his friends are awesome" and he keeps fighting anyway, because his floppy hair is all the protection he needs.

The Rangers summon the fish of orion, and then the monster grows. The fugly megazord is having some trouble against the monster, and it gets trapped, and suddenly the Magna Defender shows up, and presents his sword to Mike. Now Mike can be a Ranger too! (Yes, I am on team Magna Defender is a Ranger, just so you know.) He transforms and gets the dramatic flowy cape and summons Torozord and saves the day!

Everyone is like "cool" and then Damon insults his zord choice, because Damon is great. Torozord does not agree. (Damon, I'm sorry, but it looks way less ridiculous then your zord does.)

There's a meeting of the Terra Venture higher up council of something, and we find out that they have traveled 5.6 lightyears and apparently that's almost to the next galaxy or something, because they fail to understand how space works. Mike shows up and interrupts the meeting to try to explain where he was (and fails miserably) and all of the ruling council people are just "I'm sure he has an explanation" because they are NOT STUPID and understand how sixth rangers work.

Fish: 2! Good job, Lost Galaxy! Please keep up the ridiculous cheesy brothers being awesome and what... wait... what episode is next? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Episode 303 - The Sunflower Search

So we start with the Magna Defender having angst! I knew I liked him!

So, apparently his planet was destroyed, and he's calling his awesome zord to fight Scorpius. Unfortunately, Scorpius is using his tiny child as a shield. MD tells the Zord to retreat, and he tries to rescue his kid, who is tiny and adorable. Tiny child tries to fight and help his dad, but Scorpius destroys him. QR had to go and hide during this, and I don't blame her, because TINY CHILD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(((((

Magna Defender swears his revenge. UNDERSTANDABLY. So yeah, his kid was fridged to give him manpain. Tiny child, you should go be friends with Lian Harper, okay?

Scorpius and random villains are plotting something and hating on the defender. Don't care, because Trakeena isn't being awesome.

Meanwhile, Kendrix apparently gave Maya flowers, and the villains listen in on them. Since Maya and Kendrix are talking about how great sunflowers are, they assume that the lights are in the various sunflower statues on Terra Venture? Um? How would they have gotten there? I... sure? Look, I'm just going to point out the giant school of fish there, and be totally confused and then smile and nod.

After the MOTW attacks, the Magna Defender shows up to be awesome. While this is going on, Leo is having a sad about Mike. I'm not really sure where he got Mike's dogtags from? I mean, presumably Mike was wearing them when he got squished? But he goes and joins the other Rangers + MD to attack. The Defender doesn't care at all about civilians and just shoots all the things. MD is all "no, I have my angst, I don't care about anyone else, and nobody else can ever understand my pain." He is totally going for the emoest emo award.

Back in their apartment (and man, I want a Friends style AU really badly) they are all discussing why the Magna Defender has such a sad. Leo is all "revenge, duh" because he is smart.

Somewhere, the monster is attacking again, and a tiny child loses their bear. Poor thing. :( More fighting, and I am finding it hard to care. Magna Defender is a great anti-hero, we get it.

And then the tiny child somehow goes back after the bear, and the monster grabs the tiny child. We get a flashback to Magna Defender's tiny child, and Magna Defender refuses to drop its sword, so Leo stops him, because the risk is too great to the child.

The tiny child is very brave, and with the help of Damon, manages to rescue herself. Good Damon! Brave tiny child!

The monster fails to find the lights of orion, and then it grows, so the fugly zords are summoned. The monster manages to beat them, but the Magna Defender summons its Zord from inside Terra Venture, and I am not going to even TRY to figure out how Torozord got onto the spaceship. Trying to figure it out just gives us a headache. The Magna Defender himself grows and rides on top of the zord, which is pretty cool, I guess.

There's some more fighting, and the Rangers shoot at it from the ground, and Torozord does some more cool tricks and somehow a mountain grows INSIDE the space ship, and there are so many fish involved in this.... anyway, the defender combines with his Zord. This is just a thing that happens, I'm just going to go with it for now. The combination blows up the monster.

Scorpius is pissed off because Torozord is there, and the other villains snipe at each other, and Trakeena is great. Meanwhile, the demorphed Rangers are all "YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES" and we get another flashback to the death of the tiny child. APPARENTLY THEY REALLY LIKE TO SHOW THAT. Leo is all "I know how you feel! But you have to have control or you're as bad as them."

There is so much wrong there, I don't know where to start. First, no, Leo, you don't know exactly how he feels. So shut up. (Second, NO HE IS NOT AS BAD AS THE VILLAINS. NO. He is not going around and DELIBERATELY MURDERING TINY CHILDREN. Third, do we really need to constantly show the death of a tiny child? Ugh, this is one of the reasons I quit reading DC Comics. (Seriously, DC, I am still filled with rage over the death of Lian Harper. STILL.)

Fish: 2. Lots of boring fighting, but angsty backstory! That is something we're a fan of!

Episode 298- Homesick

Today on Power Rangers, I get to use the inappropriately young friends tag again! I love that tag.

So we start off with what looks sinister. There is somebody hiding and watching people. Mind, this view of the camera is at adult head height. Sneaky Person wears gloves and breaks into the empty control center of the ship. S/he manages to stop the engines. Systems have been jammed. This person is really good AND Terra Venture's security SUCKS. Kai and a group of Starship Troopers can't seem to get in. Damon, however, proves how awesome he is and opens the door in two seconds. Inside they find a Small Ginger Child. Who managed to avoid security, break into what should have been a heavily guarded room, hack into the ships systems, lock everybody out, and turn off the engines. Quick, somebody get this kid a job STAT.

Dirty Small Child is in for questioning. Ship Commander Whatshisname is surprised. Who wouldn't be? This kid isn't Justin. But maybe he'll be a future ranger with Silvy and Fred. Dirty Small Child is snotty and uncooperative and also apparently named Matthew. Damon tries to make a connection and points out the kid probably doesn't have identity cards. Kid totally talks to Damon. Because Damon is THE BEST. He admits to Damon that he was a stowaway and he just wants to go home.

His mother gets on communications and is very worried. She's upset, and who can blame her? Her son has been missing for quite a long time now and she finally finds out it's because he snuck on board a ship to go to space? Yeah, I'd be pissed, too. She points out she'll never see him again. My heart? Just broke into a million little pieces.

Damon takes Matthew, now clean and adorably ginger, out in the field to teach him how to do Useful Things on the station. He bonds over missing his family. They handle dangerous chemicals. Damon is the best big brother. It's adorable. But then Damon has to leave Matthew to deal with dangerous chemicals because a monster is attacking.

Gas is knocking everybody out and Matthew proves to be smarter than all the adults, because he not only runs away from it, but manages to hide and figure out what's going on with the monsters. His suit rips (not much use if they tear THAT easily), but he is brave and continues to try to get to both safety and a position to help. Clearly he will be a future power ranger.

He locks himself in the control room, stops the elevator with the monster, sounds the alarm, and then finally succumbs to the gas and passes out. Seriously, why is this kid not in charge of ALL the things?

Alpha tells the rangers how to get to the command tower so they can go help Matthew, because he and DECA have built little tiny space ships. Because they are awesome. There is a nonsensical space battle and somehow the rangers make it back into the city. I'm going to pretend there is some kind of easily accessible bubble or something. Everybody is knocked out, except the rangers, and Damon manages to get a few words out of Matthew... who is somehow less unconscious than everybody else.

Fugly Zords come out and they are not affected by the gas? They suck it up and manage to clean the air? Then they turn to stone and there are explosions and then they're more powerful? I... don't understand this part. The Sentai splicing is really bad. Somehow they go from living creatures to slightly less odd looking mechanical zords. Whatever. They're still ugly. And the dimensions make no sense when they form the Megazord.

Everyone saved now, the Commander gives a medal to Matthew. Who is smarter than all of them. He's sad and still misses his mom, which makes me want to bake him cookies. He goes off to do more Useful Work when the Power Rangers show up to congratulate him and call him a hero. They take him home. HOME! The Rangers take him back to Earth! Because they are awesome.

If he were my kid, I'd hang the medal on the wall and then ground him for a year.

2 fish. This was a good episode! The zords are... special... but I liked Future Ranger Matthew.

Episode 284 - Five of a Kind

So we open with Dark Spectre being all "Astronema, go be HBIC and attack Earth." That is totally the best way to start an episode.

The Rangers break out the awesome chess set again, and take off the Psycho Pink. Then TJ is all "WAIT. I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT." He realizes that if they keep fighting same colors, they are screwed. Just mix up the colors! Because TJ is brilliant and proving how he is an awesome blue, and doing the strategy thing. GO TJ. This is why he was such an awesome Red Ranger.

So an alarm goes off and they head to fight the Psycho Rangers, with their plan to switch colors on them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the Psychos from still going after their counterparts, and soon the battle goes back to color vs color. Then Zhane shows up, late as always. Is this a sixth ranger thing or something?

Psycho Blue scores a lucky hit on TJ, who goes down hard, and it's only Zhane showing up at the last minute that prevents him from getting his head chopped off.

Luckily for TJ, Dark Spectre is all "SOMEONE IS DRAINING MY POWERS NOW" so Astronema has to pull the Psychos back.

TJ wakes up in the med lab, and damn, nice arms. TJ is very sad that his plan didn't work, but everyone is like "YOU STAY IN THE MED LAB. YOU ARE HURT." Also, Cassie looks very worried about him, hovering over his bed, and I ship them so hard.

The Psychos are arguing about why they got pulled back, and they're planning on going after the Rangers with or without Astronema. She is so pleased by this.

CASSIE BRINGS TJ BREAKFAST IN BED AND THERE IS A FLOWER. SHIP THEM SHIP THEM SHIP THEM. ALL THE HURT/COMFORT. ALL OF IT.

Except TJ isn't in bed, he's busy watching the battle to figure out new strategies. Except on the recording, the color suddenly goes out, and TJ comes up with ANOTHER new plan, because he is brilliant. He spraypaints all the pieces on the chess board blue, so they won't know their true colors.

OH MY GOD HE HAS NICE ARMS. Those jackets hide them. BUT DAMN, NICE ARMS.

So all the Rangers go down disguised as blue rangers, and I wonder how they managed to make all their costumes blue. And it's not like they disguise the voices. And with color theory and all, I wonder if the others are uncomfortable wearing blue. And like, how did the girls ditch the skirts? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Yellow Psycho is like "whatever, I'm not even trying. I'll wait until they're done."

Then Silver Psycho appears or something, and he attacks the Rangers, and the Psychos are SO ANNOYED with that. So they attack Psycho Silver, and then Psycho Blue blasts Psychos Red and Black in the back.

Psycho Silver is revealed as Zhane, and the five blue rangers all assemble and Zhane and TJ blast Psycho Blue. Why is Zhane getting to be all awesome? This is TJ's moment of glory! So Psycho Blue gets to grow and the toys show up to battle. And then it's snowing or something? Are they still in California? Why so cold?

(SERIOUSLY, WHY SO COLD. I hate cold.) (QR is mocking me, she loves the cold. She's also wrong.)

Apparently Psycho Blue is trying to freeze them, so they just turn up the heat and the ice melts off the zord, and could I get that system, because SO COLD. I am going to freeze when I go home to NY for two weeks.

So they destroy blue and call Zhane a Psycho and Astronema is like "pfft, one is enough to destroy the Rangers." Astronema threatens the Psychos and is all "Here is the plan" and they are so terrified of her. So great.

The Rangers are all prepping for battle and doing something technical. Whatever it is, it should be awesome.

Andros is busy having a sad about Karone. Look, she's all Of Borg at the moment. And he's being emo. If QR was doing this recap, she'd be a lot more sympathetic. But I am not.

Fish: 2! TJ has a plan! He is great!

Fic we want: TJ is so badass. TJ/Cassie! Lasting effects of wearing the wrong color!

Episode 280 - Dark Specter's Revenge - Part 2

WE LIVE. I handed in my thesis, so now we will have the time of GREAT PANIC while I wait on results.

So we continue with the Megazords trying to push an asteroid out of the way while people on Earth panic. Just as it's entering Earth's atmosphere Zhane shows up with another Zord and somehow that is enough to get it out of the atmosphere without the asteroid breaking up at all (wtf is this thing made of, anyway?) and they push it back into space and whatever, I am not going to argue with the science, but I wonder what the Bad Astronomer would have to say about that.

Zhane gets all the hugs, and he tells them that the rebels built the ship. The Rangers fill Zhane in on the whole Astronema = Karone thing, and Zhane is all "I knew there was something good about her!" and offers to go with Andros to find her, saying he has an interest in Karone as well. You can clearly see the "oh shit, I've got a thing for my boyfriend's sister" on Zhane's face, and also Andros is concerned when Zhane says he has an interest.

Zhane and Andros follow a solitary tie fighter to a space station, and Andros and Zhane continue the "you went on a date with my sister!" "JUST ONE DATE?" thing and AHAHAH awesome, but boys, this is SO NOT THE TIME to figure out your poly relationships.

So the boys steal some Quantrons uniforms, and they're a little short to be storm troopers, and really, show, you're making this too easy.

They find Astronema and take off the helmet, only to find that she's been all Borgified, and she calls Ecliptor to attack them. There's a pretty great fight, and there's no way they're going to win and escape with Astronema, so they end up retreating, leaving her in her brainwashed and Borgified state.

This is pretty epic, seriously.

They end up stealing some velocifighters to escape, and they make it back to the Megaship, and Andros has the biggest sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull and the Professor had some hijinks where they thought they made it to another planet, but nope, still on Earth. Oh, and then they get attacked by a monster. Luckily, there are Power Rangers to the rescue. Including Zhane in his new toy.

Hey, points for a very bondagey fight.

And then the Rangers give Bulk, Skull, and the Professor a ride on their galaxy gliders. ADORABLE.

Meanwhile, the Borg Princess kicks Darkonda out. And Andros, and Zhane are trying to figure out how to fix Astronema. DUN DUN DUN.

Fish: 2! The science is a little screwy, but EPIC IS EPIC.

Episode 278 - The Rangers' Leap of Faith

So we start off with the ending of the last episode again. We already saw this! Both sides have valid points, and they need to learn the value of compromise.

Seriously, they're replaying the ENTIRE LAST SCENE. I mean, it's a great scene, but when you only have so long in an episode, do you really want to waste it?

So we finally get to a new scene after the credits, and Karone is tied to a poll in the maintenance bay. Andros shows up to give her some food and I'm just picturing Tommy screaming at the others after this, because... yeah. Andros brings Karone some food, and they have a discussion about trust. Then Karone asks about their parents, and it is very sad, and they start bonding over that. Apparently they stayed up talking and slept in there.

When they approach the planet, Andros springs the news on the others that it has to look like Astronema captured them. Maybe you should have mentioned that in advance, Andros.

Astronema contacts Dark Spectre and he's all "I'm so proud of you" and then lowers the force field. Rangers in chains, you guys. :D

As soon as possible, the Rangers remove their chains, and TJ starts issuing orders. Once a red...

Fighters stop by, and Astronema is all "What, they're escorts" and the Rangers do not look happy. Andros escorts Astronema off the bridge while TJ pilots and looks all badass.

TJ doesn't like it and decides to ditch the escorts, which um, is BEYOND STUPID. Because now you have advertised that Astronema isn't there, and also for all you know, they WERE leading you there.

The ship gets hit by lightning and there's smoke and darkness and all super dramatic, and then they crash. TJ, I adore you, but that was STUPID.

For a planet with such an unstable atmosphere, the planet looks very nice.

Andros runs back to check on Karone, and she has apparently ditched her chains and left the ship. TJ takes this as confirmation that she was leading them into a trap, and Andros refuses to believe it. They go exploring and run into Darkonda and the Pirahnatrons. Time to morph!

The other Rangers distract things while they yell for Andros to go find Zordon, and Karone grabs Andros while the others are all getting captured. Ecliptor shows up but he can't hurt Astronema, so he tells them to just go on. Darkonda then attacks Ecliptor and calls him a traitor, and he manages to capture him.

Andros and Karone comes upon Zordon's warp tube, and DUN DUN DUN, it turned out to actually be a trap. That was actually Dark Spectre in there, and the rangers are all captured. Astronema tells Dark Spectre that her trap worked perfectly, and he tells her to destroy them, and then teleports out. She tells Darkonda to destroy them, and then right before he's about to, she blasts him in the back and lets the other Rangers escape.

There's a fight scene, and it looks like the Rangers will get caught again, but Ecliptor comes to the rescue, and he tells Karone and the others to go, even though she yells that she can't leave him. She loves her surrogate daddy! The Rangers escape.

Dark Spectre gives Darkonda control of the dark fortress, but only until Astronema returns. Dark Spectre says he has plans for Astronema and Ecliptor, that will ensure they never stray again.

Back on the bridge of the Megaship, TJ leads the others in apologizing to Karone. She tells them that she's never had friends, and that she hopes that one day they'll believe that she doesn't want to hurt them. They tell her that they believe her right now, and also, now she has five friends. Ashley grabs her hand and seriously looks like she's about to kiss it. I feel this is relevant to people's interests.

End episode with Alpha saying the gesture of friendship is so beautiful.

Fish: 2! The plans and crosses and betrayals all worked out pretty nicely.

Episode 277- Astronema Thinks Twice

Today on Power Rangers, it's Astronema's turn to have a sad.

She's wandering around Earth as the memories start to come back to her. She won't let go of the locket and part of her remembers being snatched as a child, a little boy chasing after her, but she doesn't want to. She's so conflicted! And she plays it SO WELL.

Andros finds her and confronts her, because he knows she remembers. He thinks if he can just get her to see, she'll accept him and the goodness still inside her. She attacks instead and runs away, but I can't really blame her. She's confronting the fact that her whole life up to that point has been a lie. That's a big deal.

Darkonda delights in the conflict. Ecliptor is not so happy that Darkonda is having fun tearing apart his Adopted Daughter. He's going to take care of that for her, and get rid of Darkonda once and for all. Or, well, that's the plan anyway. The battle is amazing and Darkonda actually tries to run away, but Ecliptor will have none of it. He is determined to take care of this problem for Karone. Unfortunately, Darkonda cheats and forces Ecliptor to join with him again. Ecliptor escapes, barely, and Darkonda gets away again. Ecliptor screams out Darkonda.

Darkonda is counting down his lives and requests Dark Spectre destroy Ecliptor for him. Yeah, that's soooo not happening.

Astronema confronts Ecliptor about her brother, and Ecliptor explains that he was made to be evil, but she was born to be good. It's only because of him that she is who she has become. Except that Ecliptor isn't really evil! He loves! He has a heart! He cares deeply! He will do whatever it takes to save those who matter to him! He's only evil because he thinks that's what he has to be! Oh Ecliptor, I adore you and your poor tortured story. Astronema loves him and is determined to remain evil for him, so she sends a monster after Andros.

This show could benefit from an Adopted Dad Logan tumblr. Just saying.

She goes to watch the fight and is once again torn by emotions. Andros is getting the snot beat out of him, and he loses his morpher, which she manages to grab. She could save him, but she's not sure yet if she should and OMG THIS SHOW! ALL MY LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. She throws him his morpher and walks away, while he morphs and saves himself from the monster she sent to him (and then the others show up and there is all the toys and yada yada yada I don't care about this part).

I freaking ADORE these episodes. This is probably the tightest Power Rangers has ever been.

Dark Spectre doubts Astronema. She wants to be evil. He commands her to destroy Andros, knowing who he is. She hesitates, but decides to do it anyway.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to convince Andros that she's still dangerous. He refuses to see it and goes to meet her alone. Astronema tells Andros she'll take him to Zordon. He BELIEVES HER. BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. HE EVEN TAKES HER ON THE SHIP, and the others totally aren't happy with it. And understandably so! She's spent the better part of this season trying to kill them. He defends her, they grudgingly go along with it but only after she gives the coordinates. And now nobody really trusts Andros (and I can't blame them, but I can't blame him either). Oh Andros. Sweetheart. ALL THE CRIES.

Episode 260 - The Wasp With a Heart

QR wants me to let everyone know that wasps are evil creatures who should all be destroyed. Considering that bugs in general freak me the hell out, I am TOTALLY OKAY WITH THIS PLAN.

Of course, I also love monsters with a heart of gold episodes, so yay for this!

Still, I'd much rather be talking about alien strippers.

So we open with the wasp prancing around in the flowers and shaking his ass at the camera, when his brother shows up to yell at him for wanting to smell the flowers. He tries to be evil to please his brother.

The professor insists a beehive is an alien pod, even after Skull calls him on it. (QR thinks I should link to My Girl, but I am going to SPARE ALL OF YOU, BECAUSE NO.) Skull starts to yell at the professor when the wasp shows up to skip after them.

Seriously, do bulk and Skull have monster-attraction or something? Cassie is sent to check on the disturbance. The Wasp is REALLY BAD AT THIS, and we get pantsless Bulk, Skull and the Professor.

Cassie fights the stupid wasp, who is like "Why are you fighting me?" and she's all "MONSTER, DUH." He almost manages to beat her, but then his conscience gets the better of him. He doesn't destroy her even when he has the chance, and in exchange, Cassie stops the other Rangers from destroying him.

The wasp dreams about being evil, but he can't hurt an old man. He's very conflicted about this. Ecliptor reminds him that he doesn't have a heart and tells him to attack a birthday party that Cassie is at. Some kid is really upset that Quantrons are letting her balloons go and the wasp feels guilty about it. Cassie gets a pretty nice unmorphed fight, but she's outnumbered by a LOT. The Wasp is told to destroy her, but he can't do it, blasting the Quantrons instead.

Astronema and the Wasp's brother show up and they fight, and Cassie is very concerned for her new wasp boyfriend. First a Phantom, now a wasp - Cassie, honey, TJ is still available. Cassie morphs angrily after glaring daggers at Astronema. Of course, as soon as she morphs, Astronema runs away, and they have to chase after the evil!wasp on their spaceboards while the city gets blown up.

Somehow, Cassie's gun thing is sonar? Or something? She locates it by randomly shooting and then that knocks the evil wasp back to Earth. Evil!Wasp summons bees and this is why I will never be a Ranger, because I would RUN THE HELL AWAY. CREEPY.

Evil!Wasp grows and there's a fight and I got distracted because one of my friends was talking about Amy Jo Johnson's tattoos on flashpoint and also blue rangers, which is WAY more exciting than fight scenes, frankly. The Rangers win.

Cassie bonds with her wasp boyfriend and she tells him that being nice isn't a failure, and he wishes that he was human. The little girl from earlier is still crying, and the wasp starts crying as well. He turns himself into a wasp and flies away, and somehow locates the little girl's balloons. Everyone is sure he'll be good forever, but um, clearly at some point someone will unknowingly KILL HIM.

Because he is a WASP. UGH.

Fish: 2. More wasps then fish this time.

Episode 255- Never Stop Searching

And we're back!

We open with Carlos proving that he's better with space transportation than Earth transportation, because he totally fixes the red Galaxy Glider. He stumbles upon Andros watching a video (who shot this video, we have no idea, don't try to throw logic into Power Rangers) of Tiny Children with Horrible Hair. Tiny Boy makes a ball for Tiny Girl to practice telekinesis on. Tiny Boy runs to catch the ball and Tiny Girl screams for Andros. Tiny Boy Andros runs after her, only to discover her taken by some dark shadow. He asks Deca to help him figure out who the dark shadow is, because he's never going to stop searching for his sister. Andros has a sad! And now Carlos, having seen the video, has a sad for Andros. He can't stop thinking about the Tiny Children. Andros continues to search for lifeforms. He tries going back to KO-35, in a galaxy which has apparently been deserted. Hello other Convenient Plot Device!

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are traveling with the Professor. He tells them about aliens hatching and hands grabbing and poor Bulk has an overactive imagination. They stumble upon a watermelon the Professor is sure is an alien. Oh, Professor. Bulk throws the watermelon in fear and it breaks over the three of them, an actual watermelon.

Back in space, Andros has reached KO-35. He shutes down to the deserted planet to see if he can find his sister. It's creepily empty. And there is no sign of Karone. Carlos can't sleep and goes to eat breakfast with the others... and their colour coded napkins. Andros is nowhere to be found and the red Galaxy Gilder is gone. Carlos explains what he learned about Andros the previous night, even though he's not supposed to know any of it and even though he hasn't talked to Andros about sharing this VERY PERSONAL SECRET. He decides to go check up on Andros.

Ecliptor has come to destroy KO-35 and is delighted to find Andros there already. He goes down to the planet to attack Andros. Why he didn't just blow up the planet with Andros on it I have no idea. You'd think that would be the easiest, quickest way to get rid of him... especially since he wouldn't know the attack was coming until the planet was all exploded around him.

Luckily Carlos came down to see how Andros was doing, because he interrupts the fight just in time to save Andros. He even jumps in front of Andros to save him from a direct hit! Good lord this is hitting ALL my favourite tropes. Andros drags poor Carlos back to Deca to help him. I didn't ship it before, but I SO DO NOW.

Andros, being Emo Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land, blames himself for Carlos. Aw, guilt. He refuses help and goes back to fight Elciptor all on his own again. Oh Andros. You need to learn to work with your team! Lucky for him they aren't about to let him deal with this on his own, so Cassie, Ashley, and TJ go after him once they realize he's missing. Even Carlos joins the fight, despite being beat all to hell and barely able to stand on his feet. HE WILL NOT LET HIS TEAM FIGHT ALONE! AW, CARLOS! He's also the smartest because he totally set up Alpha and Deca to use the Megaships weapons to blast Ecliptor from space.

Back on the Megaship, Andros apologizes for getting Carlos hurt. Carlos tells him he knows about Karone and if Andros will let them, they will help him find his sister. Because they're a team. And that's what they do. Andros acknowledges they work well together as a team and accepts the help. Aw.



Covered in food: Bulk, Skull, and the Professor covered in watermelon. I wish we didn't have to bring this back.

Episode 253 - Save Our Ship

Sorry about the hiatus, you guys. Real life sucks. A lot. But we are back now, and hopefully on a schedule.

I maintain that the title of the episode is referring to the Ashley/Carlos ship, which the show decided to take from me. *SOB*

So we open on a holodeck simudeck, where Ashley and TJ are doing some training against some really ugly mooks, the Craterites. Alpha calls the Rangers and tells them they're arriving at Earth, and Ashley asks Andros if he's ever been to Earth before. Her alien fetish is REALLY SHOWING, AND HI, ASHLEY, WHAT ABOUT CARLOS???

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull are stargazing, looking for a new comet. Instead they spot Astronema's base. They are pretty good at finding the bad guys! This is why they are seriously big damn heroes.

Astronema notices that they're taking the shuttle to Earth, and then Elgar shows up. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Astronema tells the quantrons to throw Elgar off the Dark Fortress, but Elgar claims that Dark Spectre sent him.

The Rangers discover that the Surf Spot has replaced the Juice Bar, and while Adelle is pretty great, I miss the Juice Bar. :( Andros looks very confused, and then he sees a surf board on the wall. Adelle asks him what planet he's from after he asks her what a surfboard is, and he tells her KO-35, and she laughs. Okay, that's actually kind of adorable.

Adelle brings the Rangers some fries even though they haven't ordered them. Because she TOTALLY KNOWS that they are Rangers. Ernie and/or Lt Stone totally let her know to be nice to them. (We are shipping Adelle/Ernie right now, because we can)

Andros uses his telekinis to put hot sauce in Bulk's drink. Yeah, Bulk was being a jerk to Skull, but that was a total dick move. (QR disagrees with me, but she also likes Andros and I don't.)

Skull starts loudly talking to Bulk about the space ship they saw and whether the professor will believe them, and then they run off. Because of this, the Rangers realize that Astronema has followed them back to Earth.

Bulk and Skull make it to Professor Phenomenous' place, and his awesome mailbox has a speaker attached, where they tell him they've seen aliens. Why is this a big deal? People have been invading Earth for 5 seasons now! Why is aliens suddenly not believable? I mean, last season there were monster tours.

Andros notices that they're being followed, and the Rangers turn around to see Quantrons, and we get some unmorphed fighting. And also TJ and Carlos have gone shopping for clothes in their new colors at some point. Alpha calls them and everyone morphs.

The Professor + Bulk and Skull are driving in the van of awesomeness, when it breaks down in front of NASADA. The Professor insists that the NASADA sign is actually an alien, and Bulk asks him for ID. Of course, at that exact point the Quantrons teleport in.

Meanwhile, the Rangers are attacked by Ecliptor. HE IS SO AWESOME. SO AWESOME. He and Andros fight one on one, while Astronema and her awesome hair decide to destroy the shuttle. Ecliptor heads out, and it looks like the shuttle might be destroyed and we get some GIGANTIC EXPLOSIONS and... then they just go into the shuttle and take off? Okay then. I am not really going to argue.

Astronema is the best, and I love her. Ecliptor grows, the Megazord is formed, and you know how this all works. Seriously, we are running out of ways to describe Megazord fights. It is cool for the spaced based part and the re-entry onto Earth, and Ecliptor is pretty awesome, especially when he makes seven of himself, but... yeah. We have seen this all before. Ashley uses her helmet mode and figures out that the real Ecliptor is the one in the center. Really? That would have been my guess as well. It looks like Ecliptor gets blown up by the Megazord, but he is far too awesome for that.

Ashley challenges Andros to a game of pool, and he uses his telekinisis again. Ashley thinks its incredibly hot. They offer a trade of pool lessons for telekinisis lessons. I... don't think telekinisis works that way, but I'll totally take it.

Astronema has changed her hair again, and she is fabulous. Except then we get the lead into the Turtles.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU SCREW UP A POWER RANGERS/TURTLES CROSSOVER. HOW?

Ugh, I may have to go marathon the Turtles movies. EVEN TMNT3 IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.

Fish: 2. Mostly for you know, the ending. How does Astronema know about the Turtles anyway?

Fic we want: Um, there have to be some creative uses for the Simudeck, right?