Episode 132- Changing of the Zords Part 3

About all this episode taught me is that Aisha makes an awesome Jazzercise instructor, and never ever EVER trust Tommy around machines that drain/sustain your life. Seriously.

So we start off with Zedd in the Command Center and my little heart goes all aflutter at just how purely AWESOME this is. Tommy agrees to pilot the zords and then Zedd leaves while cackling maniacally. Totally wasted opportunity there, Zedd. He had the chance, he could have really taken out the Command Center. If he'd done so, this episode would have been over right then and there. Zedd and evil would have won.

In the dark dimension, Kat is observing Kimberly spin on the table as her life force is drained away. Kat is sorry it has to be that way. Her eyes flash red and then she gets a distraught look on her face (and for all the poor acting on the show, Katherine Sutherland really sold this on facial expression alone) and says she means it. She really doesn't want it to be that way. Kat is starting to break the spell.

Back in the Command Center, Billy is trying to track down Kim while Alpha tries to build a device that will sever Kim's life force from the power coin. He finally locates her in the dark dimension but is unsure how to get in there. The front door is apparently "locked". Tommy has a brilliant selection and, drawing from his last sparring match before Jason left town, suggests they go in the back door. Heeee, I'm a twelve year old boy inside. In all seriousness, it's actually a really good plan. They sneak in the back and sneak Kim out with Zedd being, hopefully, none the wiser.

Billy sets up his portal machine in the park. We have to wonder WHY this needs to be done in the park, out in the open, where anybody can see them. But whatever. We get sunlight shining in Billy's hair making him look all pretty, so I'll take it. Tommy goes through the portal, well aware of his time limit, and finds Kim.

Meanwhile, during a hootenanny on the moon that's chock full of hoot with just a little bit of nanny, Zedd notices a disturbance in the force the intruder, and sends Tengas down to take care of the other rangers while he goes to deal with Tommy. The rangers immediately go to Ninja Power and I lament the loss of the unmorphed fighting sequences. Aisha is awesome because she immediately rounds up a good six or seven of them and starts dancing. They follow her every move and instruction and she manages to lead a great Jazzercise class with the Tengas. She tells them to fall down, and they DO. Adam grows really big and appears to squish two of them, but really he just picks them up and flings them away. The others just fight but two Tengas manage to escape notice. They come upon Billy's device and one asks if the other knows what it is. The other says no, and then suggests they destroy it. And they do.

Meanwhile, Zedd goes down to the dark dimension where he's holding Kim and fights Tommy. I don't like Tommy, this much has been made clear, but the Zedd/Tommy battles are pretty epic and I admit, begrudgingly, that I'd totally watch a half hour of Tommy and Zedd fighting. Mostly because of Zedd. But still. Anyway, Tommy breaks Zedd's staff, which promptly turns into a snake. Tommy says the snake is just like Zedd "cold and slimy". He's wrong of course. Snakes are neither cold (cold blooded, yes, but they still need to be warm to live) nor slimy (reptiles are not slimy, amphibians are... snakes are most definitely not amphibians).

Back on Earth, the Tengas run away and Billy fixes the portal device in all of about five seconds, with not a hint of duct tape in sight. Rita, seeing her prize slipping away, orders Finster to make a monster. In the meantime, she summons the zords. They appear in the park with much ground shaking, and Rocky mentions that earthquakes don't happen in Angel Grove. Except for all the times that they do, Rocky. Anyway, Adam is sad they'll have to use the zords for evil and they all just kind of work under the assumption that Tommy failed already. Rita's new monster finished, she sends it down to Earth. It FLASHES the rangers. Like, literally. It opens it's jacket to reveal it's naked body covered in eyes and flashes them. I love this monster already! They of course have to morph and fight.

Back in the dark dimension, Tommy has driven Lord Zedd away. He tries to figure out how to turn off the device, but decides to just start messing with buttons and knobs instead. HE MESSES WITH BUTTONS AND KNOBS. On the device that is DRAINING KIM'S LIFE AWAY. That's... probably the dumbest thing Tommy has EVER done. Luckily he manages to shut the darn thing down instead of the more probable event of draining her life completely. He picks her up and takes her through the portal, just in time, as it closes behind him. She's still unconscious and he gets Zordon to beam her to the Command Center so he can go help the others fight the awesome Flashing Monster.

They climb in the zords and Billy manages to break them away from Zedd's power source, tying them into their own power source... which is never explained what it is, where it came from, how it works, and how Billy was able to do so in less than a minute. Anyway, the zords are now under ranger control. They come together and fight the Flashing Monster, now so big he could flash all of downtown Angel Grove in one go. First they just shoot confetti at the monster, but then they pull out the sword and, I must say, it's pretty cool because it's on fire. They, of course, finish the monster and save the day.

Back at the Command Center, Kim has mostly recovered. Alpha has managed to sever her life force from the power coin and she's feeling better. She can still be the pink ranger, if she draws power from the others, though it's only a temporary solution. Rita and Zedd still have her coin and the falcon zord (which somehow renders the other zords completely inoperable? Whatever).

On the moon, Zedd is distraught that he lost. Rita comforts him by telling him all the things they still have and how awesome they are. Then she handles his snake for a bit.

Back on Earth, Kim and Tommy are walking along the lake at sunset, with the water sparkling behind them. Kim tells Tommy she's scared. Tommy tells her he will always be her friend and then kisses her on the cheek (and TSB is sure they then have sex on the beach). Roll credits.


All in all, 4 fish. Because... well... it just didn't make sense.

Episode 131 - Changing of the Zords Part 2

Previously - Kat has stolen Kim's power coin, and if she doesn't get it back, it might kill her. This is what we call epic.

We open with Kim still unconscious, and Billy apparently managed to finish med school, because he's busy giving a medical diagnosis. We know Billy is a genius and all, but really? It makes you wonder how they explain whatever bruises and things they get from fighting monster. (I tend to be on the healing factor side of the debate, but it's worth thinking about.)

Tommy is all worried and confused, and making it all about him and how he can't lose her, and how he knows what it was like to lose his powers, and seriously, Tommy, not about you. Adam is being practical and wondering what they're going to do without their Zords and Ninjor being gone, etc. Nobody has any answers, and Kimberly just continues to lay (asleep, although I'm going more with 'coma') on the table, with glowing pink lines racing over her skin.

Up on the moon, Zedd is indulging in an evil cackle about how awesome he is. Then he realizes he needs pilots for his new Zords, and apparently he thinks the Rangers should work for him. Umm... ok? We're not really sure where this came from, but we guess we'll go along with it. He decides to send down a monster named Fangenstein (cue all the really bad dental puns now) to distract the Rangers.

At the Youth Center, Tommy is hitting things, and Adam and Rocky look on worriedly. Kat shows up, claiming she's supposed to be having lunch with Kimberly, and then trying to convince Tommy to go with her instead. Tommy is busy being emo (or he knows that having lunch with another girl who is CLEARLY crushing on him while his girlfriend is in a coma is totally inappropriate) so he says no. Then communicators go off just as Aisha and Billy walk into the youth center (they were making out?) and they go off to fight the monster.

Kimberly wakes up (we're not sure how) just as Zordon discovers that Kat is being attacked by Tengas. The other Rangers are having a hard time with the tooth monster, so they can't be spared to go save her, and Kim is not just going to sit there and watch one of her friends get hurt. Because she is that awesome. Besides, Tommy didn't listen to Zordon's warnings about power loss, and neither will Kim! She goes and fights the Tengas, but unfortunately passes out and faints. :( Then Zedd pulls out his monster, since it is no longer needed.

Bulk and Skull are getting yelled at about how they tried to rescue a bunch of kids, which somehow then ends up with them being yelled at for always running into monsters. They are clearly monster magnets, but Lieutenant Stone doesn't quite believe them, so he decides to shadow them for 24 hours to see if anything happens.

Back at the Command Center, everyone is freaking out about Kim, when Zedd calls up on the viewing globe and demands to be teleported into the Command Center. As they do that our chat starts to descend into all caps with frequent exclamations of "DAMN!" and "HOLY SHIT" and "I LOVE ZEDD SO MUCH" and "EPIC!" Because that is how we roll. And seriously, it is an AWESOME scene. Zedd tries to make small talk, and Alpha hides from him and calls him Ed, and Zedd delivers the ultimatum - he is draining Kim's lifeforce (power, whatever, we know what he's really saying) and if they don't work for him, they get to watch her die. The episode ends with him saying time is up, and asking for their decision.

THAT is what we call an awesome cliffhanger.

Fish: 2. Not very much yelling this episode except about how awesome Zedd is.

Episode 130- Changing of the Zords Part 1

Sorry it's been so long, guys. Vacations, illness, and family got in the way. But we are back! And we're back with... new zords? Already? Um... well... okay then! Let's spend the whole opening admiring the awesome PRETTY of the cast, shall we? Because that's pretty much what we do at the beginning of every episode.

So this episode starts with Kat, Kim, and Aisha in the Youth Center. Kat comments on their remarkable skill at shopping and we wonder if the mall in Angel Grove has any merchandise left. Kat heads home and gets all mooney over Tommy on the way. She's jealous (under a spell) and wants Kim out of the way so she can have Tommy for herself (did I mention under a spell?). I hate these infidelity subplots (but at least she's under a spell?)

Later, Kim invites Kat to the lake to hang out. Kat doesn't want to go, but then Tommy asks if she's going and suddenly she wants to. Kim is a bit suspicious (understandably so) but they head out anyway. Kat says she'll meet them there.

Finster, meanwhile, has found himself some old forgotten Zords. Or more to the point, he has found where he can find some zords. So he takes Squatt and Baboo and they go in search through dense jungle, making some awesomely hilarious quips on the way, until they sit down to rest and stumble upon the zords.

At the lake, Bulk and Skull have been put in charge of keeping the area clean and safe. Skull sees some kids who appear to be drowning and they rush to the rescue, shedding clothes as they run. I LOVE this sequence. The music, the running, the slow mo, the rush to rescue poor children in desperate need of help. Of course, then I want to smack the little shits for laughing at Bulk and Skull when they jump into the lake because the kids were faking it the whole time. Where are there parents? They ought to be punished for that.

Rita stops Kat in the park. She asks Kat to steal a power coin for her, which Kat gladly agrees to. At the lake, Rita sends down some Tenga warriors to create a diversion. Frankly, the diversion wasn't really necessary. The power coins were all in the bags which were all left carelessly lying about on a table for anybody to pillage. But the Tengas are there and they're wreaking havoc and Kat manages to steal Kim's coin. She also steals a picture of Kim and Tommy.

Kim, in fighting the Tengas, suddenly feels very weak. Her vision goes all blurry. She screams for Tommy (sigh) and he races to protect her by... putting his arm across her chest? Really? I can see the merit in doing so to prevent an airbag from exploding in her face, but I'm not quite sure how that will save her from the Tengas. Anyway, the Tengas run away since Kat has the coin, and the rangers go to morph. Kim can't find her coin and only NOW do they feel the need to contact Zordon. Who, of course, has no idea what's going on.

Zordon explains that Ninjor, when recharging the power coins, tied it into their life forces, so with Kim's coin gone, she's growing weaker and weaker. If they don't get it back, it could kill her. But that happens later, and I spend most of the episode wondering why in the world she's having all these side effects when that never happened in any of the multiple other episodes they lost their coins.

Goldar goes down to Earth and Tommy vows to fight him alone. Kat is told to steal the falcon zord and she's all too happy to comply. She's a very effective evil, I must say, far more so than any of the other rangers when put under an evil spell. She manages to zap Tommy and take the falcon zord (which then looks like an owl, but ends up being a real falcon on Zedd's arm? Okay...). Ninjor, in trying to help, gets trounced by Goldar and then captured. This is pretty bleak and Tommy is sure it's the end. He is upset that Zedd has beaten the power rangers, but really... uh... Zedd hasn't. Not yet. There are still FIVE OTHER RANGERS. FIVE. The Power Rangers is not a solo Tommy-only show here. Even if he wishes it were.

Anyway, Zordon then explains Kim could die as she faints because she's so weak and this would be a totally awesome ending!

Except it's not over yet. Instead we get Kat in a tree (and I really want to call a handsome fireman to come get her out of the tree, and then we want a follow up with Kat on a hot tin roof). She rips the picture of Kim and Tommy in half, throwing away the Kim part and proclaiming that Tommy will be hers. I hate infidelity subplots. *sigh*

2 fish. It wasn't that fishy, it was just bad in general.

Episode 129- A Ranger Catastrophe Part 2

Just to let you all know, there won't be any recaps next week, because I'm going to Disney World! Our regular schedule will resume when I get back.

Previously, on Power Rangers - Aisha and Kim are the worst cat owners ever, and is sad. Yes, the Kat era has begun, which means that Kim is leaving, and I'm going to pout, because Kim is made of total awesome. However, I like Kat, so it's all good.

So, Tommy and Kat are all kidnapped, and the other Rangers are watching in the viewing globe as he loses consciousness. Why he passes out, we don't know. Billy spouts some sort of technobabble that we didn't quite catch and didn't really qualify as Billy speak about how they need to increase something to penetrate the shield.

Up on the moon, Rita summons Kat back to her, and Rita with a kitty is the cutest thing ever. Rita is a much better cat owner than Kim and Aisha are. And cat!Kat is a very tolerant cat - most of my cats would not submit to being handled in that fashion.

Goldar wants permission to go fight Tommy, even though we know that Goldar is just using him as a poor substitute for Jason, and then Zedd and Rita argue over the cat, and then send Rito down to fight the Rangers.

Seriously, when there's a Zord fight this early, this is a sign that there are bad things to come. I mean, Billy gets to say the morphing call, which is awesome, and we get to see the individual zords fight again, and then the Rangers beat Rito without Tommy, proving that they are awesome and don't need him.

At the Command Center, the Rangers watch as Goldar and Tommy fight, and then Billy comes up with a plan to rescue Tommy, but they need to head to Billy's garage. (For fun sexy makeout times.) On the way there (and why they didn't teleport directly to Billy's garage, I have no idea. I guess the fish made them do it) they run into the Kat monster. The other Rangers are summoned, and they fight Kat, and then Billy and Adam go to the garage to finish doing something.

A conversation-
QR: does [Billy's] father never venture into the garage?
TSB: not after he caught Billy and Trini having sex on the couch in there, no
QR: AHAHHAHLADSKJF
TSB: see, I even said Billy and Trini instead of Billy and Kim, just for you :P

Back in whatever dimension it is, Rito has joined the fight. There's too much Tommy in this fight, and not enough bromance of evil. Billy figures out how to do something, and then the Rangers all hold hands and somehow this teleports Tommy out, and then they summon Zords again to fight the Kat monster. Ninjor shows up, but we guess he left his snark behind, because it's a really boring fight.

After the Kat monster is destroyed, the Rangers find Kat hanging out in the park. She tells them some sort of sob story about how scared she was, and everyone thinks she's really hot. Also, turns out that this episode takes place during summer vacation! That at least explains something.

There is no mention of Kat's car. I guess a fish ate it.

The episode ends with Aisha finding cat!Kat again, and ignoring her glowing green eyes of doom.

Fish: 2.5 It's not awful, but there were a few moments that just made us yell fish.

Episode 128- A Ranger Catastrophe Part 1

Last time on Power Rangers was the BESTEST EPISODE EVER OMGYAY! And so this time we get... incredibly boring.

We start out by learning that Aisha volunteers at the local animal shelter. She loves the animals and loves helping out, and the shelter is understaffed and underfunded anyway, so they love having the help. I like this aspect of Aisha. Very noble.

Later, as she's walking in the park with Kim, they discuss the love of animals. Kim stumbles upon a stray cat just kind of milling about the park. A very white, very CLEAN, stray cat. I don't know why this didn't clue them in that it wasn't, in fact, a runaway kitty. But we'll just move on for plot purposes, yes?

Aisha carries it around for awhile, including through the Youth Center and to the outdoor cafe of the Juice Bar, and I cry foul! One does not bring a pet into a restaurant! Service animals, yes, of course. But not a pet. Health and safety, you see. Bulk and Skull, as junior police patrolmen, agree and attempt to find the correct codes to make Aisha leave. They don't, but they're adorable at trying to enforce the rules. Aisha and Kim take the cat to the shelter and Aisha gets all excited because if the cat isn't claimed within a certain timeframe, she has permission to adopt it herself. She really wants this cat.

There is a problem with this, though. This cat was planted by Rita. She calls all her dimwits, to which Rito responds enthusiastically, and then explains her dastardly plan. It's no ordinary cat, you see. It's an EVOL Cat born in the pits ruled by Basement Cat.

Rito is sent down to scare away potential pet adopters from the animal shelter, and Bulk and Skull manage to catch him in the act. They bravely attempt to arrest him, hoping to make themselves famous, but he is big and mean and threatening and they back away rather quickly in fear.

Meanwhile, not-really-a-cat is being pampered in the shelter by Aisha. She spies Rito, however, and has to run outside to be all badass and take him on herself. Because she's awesome like that. Zordon, in a rare moment of attentiveness, notices and calls the others to help. They rush to aide Aisha, even though she didn't really need help, and a very boring fight ensues. The not-really-a-cat turns into Human!Kat to observe the fight and is caught by the vet in charge of the animal shelter. Thinking quickly, Kat convinces the lady that she's there to adopt a puppy to help her be not lonely in a new town, seeing as she's all Australian and far from her friends.

When the fight is over, Rocky runs off in search of an overly large sandwich, with Adam and Billy hot on his tail. And I mean that in just about every possible way.

Aisha, Kim, and Tommy head into the animal shelter and Human!Kat quickly vanishes to turn back into not-really-a-cat. Time is up and Aisha gets to take not-really-a-cat home. She's so excited! We're so bored.

Aisha names the cat PC, for Park Cat, since they found it in a park. Really? That's the best you could do, Aisha? That's... the lamest name ever. I can deal with PC, that's fine. I had a turtle named PC (but it was short for an actual name!). But at least make it stand for something legitimate or meaningful! Anyway, Kim comes home and leaves the door open, and not-really-a-cat-now-with-a-bad-name! runs out the door and down to open windows, where she promptly leaves the house and transforms into Human!Kat. Aisha and Kim search desperately for the lost not-really-a-cat-now-with-a-bad-name.

Human!Kat is met by Rita, who tells her to go steal Tommy from Kim. Rita transforms a dumpster into a hot car (with a cool, but not the coolest ever, vanity plate that says PURRRFECT) and sends Kat down to the Youth Center. Tommy is milling about, waiting for Kim, when Ernie realizes he failed to deliver the message that Kim would be late. Tommy is interrupted by Kat. She claims car trouble and gets Tommy outside, where he does something under the hood that leaves him and his sparkly white clothing completely clean, and then oohs and aahs over the car. Kat offers to let him drive "just around the block" and he accepts, even though he's supposed to meet Kim. He really falls so easily for the damsel in distress act. They go for a drive, but Rita zaps them into some vortex/alternate dimension thing, and Kat acts frightened and clingy, for which Tommy also falls. Oh Tommy. Could you BE any easier?

Zordon, in yet another glaring moment of attentiveness, notices that Tommy has been kidnapped, finds him, and then contacts the other rangers. Kim is jealous of the girl he's with (can't really blame her!), they wonder at how they'll get him back, discover that Rito is on Earth again, and then we cut to the To Be Continued screen.

That's not much of a cliffhanger.

And all I learned from this episode is that Steve Cardenas really really needs to stop overacting.

1.5 fish. It wasn't really fishy. Just very boring.

Episode 127 - The Potion Notion

After the fail that was the last episode, we make up for it with the rarest of creatures, the ONE FISH episode. You guys, this episode was adorable and we love it and SO AWESOME. Whenever we need to be happy, this is going to be one of the episodes we watch.

(In case you were ever wondering about the difference between me and - she rewrites the recaps so that all the caps are removed, while I just go CAPS YAY!)

So, the episode begins with Bulk and Skull trying to butter up Tommy and Kim by saying how adorable they are. Turns out that they are trying to sell tickets for the Junior Policeman Ball. Tommy and Kim think this is a great idea, and Tommy buys tickets. Awww. Basically, Bulk and Skull are adorable, and Tommy and Kim are being really cute together. And you know my opinions on Tommy/Kim.

Up on the moon, it appears that being really cute is the theme of the episode, as Rita and Zedd are preparing for their second honeymoon. Goldar is acting like he's going to be sick, but we think that they're cute! Zedd tells Goldar that he's in charge and that Finster's monster had better be ready by the time they get back. When Rito goes to check on it, he finds out that Rita put a love spell on Zedd, and he sends the Cupid Monster thing down to Earth to spread looooooooove. And, you know, cause chaos.

Kim is the first victim of our invisible cupid monster, as she immediately falls in love with Skull. She plays lovestruck REALLY well. We feel really bad for Skull, because this is not the first time this has happened, but it is so adorable. Especially the look on Tommy and Bulk's face as Kim starts talking about how wonderful Skull is. *SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS*

The next victim is Lieutenant Stone, who falls for Ms. Applebee. Hey, it's another pairing I can TOTALLY get behind. ADORABLE.

Bulk is mocking Skull for what Kimberly was saying, when he gets hit with the spell, and falls for Aisha, who immediately thinks something is up. The Rangers all gather in the park, and Aisha asks if they noticed anything weird, and Tommy points to Kim. Billy wonders if it's a spell. GEE, YOU THINK?

The Tengas and Goldar show up, and there's a fight, and Kim is all "MUST PROTECT SKULL" and then they head back up to the Command Center, where Kimberly ponders different variations of her name with Skulls, and has a whispered conversation with Aisha that may or may not be about how she hooked up with Skull in the janitor's closet.

On Serpenterra, apparently Rito failed to charge the batteries, so Rita and Zedd are heading home. Goldar finds out that Rita had placed Zedd under a spell. Uh oh. Finster has to go around cancelling the love spell on everyone on Earth (including on Principal Caplan, who was also hitting on Ms Applebee.)

Poor Skull is sad when Kim runs back to Tommy. :( Aww, Skull. Don't worry, you'll find someone eventually!

Up on the moon, Rita accidentally gets hit with the love spell, and she falls for Goldar, who is freaked out. Finster quickly cancels it, and then Goldar tells Zedd that Rita had put him under the spell and Finster cancels it. but Zedd STILL LOVES RITA and makes Goldar apologize. ADORABLE.

Later, at the police dance, the BOYS ARE WEARING SUITS. SUITS. You may have noticed how we feel about this, but it is something AWESOME. AND THEN. Kim feels horrible about what she did to Skull so she goes to dance with him and tells him that they're friends, and it is the CUTEST THING EVER.

Aisha and Billy go off to dance, Ms. Applebee dances with Lt. Stone, and Rocky hits on some random girl, and then Adam and Tommy make out in a corner. I may have made that last part up. OR DID I?

Fish: ONE. CUTEST EPISODE EVER!!!!

Fic we want: SKULL/KIM. Also, Adam and Rocky being under the spell and not noticing.

Episode 126- Final Face-Off

Well. We're never watching THIS one again.

So we start off with the rangers (minus Kim, who is training for the Pan Globals in the first mention of them) walking into a museum and wondering where the Kahmala exhibit is. Rocky consults a map and points directly ahead, y'know, where the big huge sign for the Kahmala exhibit is. They determine all the priceless cultural artifacts from this entire civilization (from Kahmala, which they never explain where this country is supposed to be) are creepy. Really guys? Creepy? Way to be non-xenophobic and open-minded there, guys.

The only good thing about this episode is that Billy and Adam at least took the time to learn a little about another culture and it's mythology BEFORE talking to other people about it.

They learn about the Face Stealer, a mythological monster who came out and... stole faces. Avatar did it waaaaayyyyy better. It was trapped in a jar and they've got the jar on display. Rita decides this is a great idea and sends down her minions to steal the Face Stealer. I'm going to ignore the racefail in her speech and just focus on the fact that she wants to turn the rangers into zombies.

There is a Tenga attack not five minutes into the episode, which is never a good sign, and then Rito, Squatt, and Baboo break lots of priceless artifacts while stealing stuff. The rangers show up after everything is stolen and find in charge of the display Museum Lady upset. They go look for clues like the meddling teenagers they are.

Face Stealer is woken up, Zedd makes a crack about 500 years being a nap to him, and then Face Stealer goes and steals Bulk and Skull's faces. It then manages to steal Adam and Aisha's faces as well. I hate this episode. The "flesh" revealed once the faces are stolen is white. Why is it white? Adam and Aisha aren't white. I... could rant on this for hours. But I'll spare you. Because I don't want to be that angry tonight. And I've already written this paragraph about four times now.

I'm just going to skip to the end. Billy figures out how to get the faces back, they beat the Face Stealer, capture him in his jar, and give the jar and mask to Bulk and Skull to return. The cops stop Bulk and Skull from returning the jar and mask because, despite the uniforms, they think Bulk and Skull stole them in the first place. Museum Lady shows up at the Youth Center to tell the rangers that the priceless artifacts were returned.

Frankly, I want to pretend this episode did not happen.

5 fish. This episode is so full of fail. Fail, fail, everywhere. ARG!

Episode 125 - Stop the Hate Master Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - we seriously need a Care Bears crossover. Also, we hate rapping monsters.

The episode begins with Alpha scanning Aisha with a giant magnet to try and figure out why she's immune to the Hate Master's spell. The answer is clearly just that Aisha is that awesome, except it turns out that Aisha's necklace has just absorbed all of her family's love over the generations. So Aisha comes from a family of awesome. We approve of this. Just as they're figuring it out, someone hacks the Command Center, shutting down all the power and cutting off their access to Zordon.

Damn, Billy is good at this being evil thing. (He also refers to Kim as a snippy little upstart and tells her to go find a mall. I'm assuming that there's just been hatesex.) Even though they all hate each other, the Rangers are still hanging out together. (Rocky's contribution to the hate is leering at Adam.)

Up on the moon, Zedd comments that the Rangers are almost cute when they're nasty, and we have to agree. Rita wants to know when they'll be done destroying the Rangers so that they can go on their honeymoon, since apparently Goldar crashed it last time. She's a lot more friendly to Zedd right now.

At Ernie's, Bulk and Skull are posing as waiters to try and solve the graffiti bandit case. They're really bad at being waiters, and end up spilling food all over some poor woman.

While all this is going on, Aisha realizes that they do have one power source left - Alpha. So they use just enough of Alpha's power to get the teleporters up, so that she can go try and turn off Billy's blocking device. She also leaves her necklace behind so that once the power is back, Alpha can use it to power the care bears stare and remove the spell. This is not quite as good a plan, because she really shouldn't give up her only means of protection, and once the power is back she could just teleport back and give Alpha her necklace. But I guess they didn't think of that.

Alpha still doesn't have enough power to teleport her directly to the Juice Bar, but he does get her to the park, where she is promptly attacked by tengas, and then the Hate Master. (Somehow she went from the park to the lake in the process) Aisha beats the Hate Master's spell by remembering her grandmother's words of wisdom to her about how hate is a bad thing, and the Hate Master runs away, totally undone by the power of Aisha's awesome.

At the Youth Center, Adam tells some random guy to move, because he's going to work out there. He's all forceful. ♥ Tommy laughs at Adam, and tells him that he'll be the one working out. Then Adam tells Tommy that he's way better than Adam is, and then they're about to fight for control of the Rangers. We are (unsurprisingly) rooting for Adam. Unfortunately, at this point Aisha shows up and manages to knock them out of the spell just enough that Billy hands over the blocker and Aisha restores power to the Command Center, and then Zordon and Alpha send out the Care Bears Stare to destroy all remnants of the spell. Which means we don't get the Adam vs Tommy fight.

The Rangers all morph and go summon their Zords to fight the Hate Master. This is an awesome Zord fight, and we don't say that very often. But they fight the monster individually! The Frog Zord has an army of tiny Frog Zords that electrocute the monster! And then the Frog Zord spits fire! The other Zords all shoot lasers or whatever, but it's pretty cool. Also, for some reason Titanus is there.

At the end of the episode, Bulk and Skull (also free of the Hate Master's spell) announce that they've solved the graffiti bandit crime. Turns out that Skull sleepwalks. (Oh, Skull) Ernie makes them clean it up. You would think that they would open the envelopes before they make big announcements.

Adam apologizes to Tommy, who tells him to forget about it. Nobody else bothers to apologize, and instead there's a love fest.

Fish: 3! Not too bad overall.

Covered in: Poor random lady was covered in food.

Fic we want: Besides the care bears thing, we're still in favor of hatesex. Also, Adam challenging Tommy for control of the Rangers. :D And Aisha's family!

Episode 124- Stop the Hate Master Part 1

Oh god it's another rapping monster. *headdesk*

So at the start of the episode, Kim and Aisha are pushing through a crowd of girls to see a list of new members for the Angel Grove Girls Club. It's basically a sorority... for high school. Kim made the list, but Aisha did not. They apparently didn't want her. Kim tries to comfort her, telling her she'll figure out what's going on, but Aisha says it's okay, it's not a big deal, and walks off all sad. Poor Aisha!

Kim pulls Veronica, leader of the club, aside and asks why Aisha didn't make the cut. It takes some prompting for Veronica to even remember who Aisha is, and then she says Aisha was lacking the "proper qualifications". Which basically means Aisha isn't rich enough.

In the Youth Center, Aisha is working out on some weight training equipment. Kim tries to talk to her some more, and then demands she scoot over so they can share the narrow bench and talk out their problems. Kim swears she'll talk to Veronica again and really figure out what's going on, and get Aisha in the club if she can. She kisses her on the cheek and skips away and I flail from the absolute ADORABLENESS of the two of them together.

So somebody has been graffiting the Youth Center and the Ranger boys are outside cleaning it off. Bulk is hiding in the shadows trying to discover the culprit, but he has no luck, so he tries to contact Skull on their headsets. Ernie thanks the Rangers for their help. Meanwhile, inside, the first meeting of the sorority Snobby McSnobersons Club comes to a close. Kim once again asks Veronica exactly why Aisha didn't make it. Veronica flat out tells her Aisha's parents don't make enough money. Kim questions why she was let in when her family is in the same economic bracket, but apparently her mother came from money and was involved, so Kim gets an automatic "in". What a disgusting club. Kim refuses to be a part of something so vile and quits. Because she's awesome.

But the whole time they were stepping on poor Skull. He was hiding under the table to listen to conversations, pulled out the most awesome shoe phone when he couldn't get ahold of Bulk, and then ended up getting each and every one of his fingers stomped on by the girls. Poor Skull! Alas, neither he nor Bulk have anything of importance to report.

Aisha is still kind of bummed, but not because she's in the club, just because it hurts to be rejected. She feels a little better when Kim tells her she quit, though. She can't stay long, however, because her Grandma of Sheer Awesomeness is in town.

Meanwhile, Rita and Zedd decide this Snobby McSnobersons Club has the right idea. They love the hate and ask Finster to make a monster. So Finster takes all the hate from all the monsters he ever made, and combines it all to make one nasty Hate Master monster. Who makes me feel plenty of hate every time he opens his mouth. Because he raps. Horribly.

So Kim finds the boys and tells them about what happened with Aisha. Adam agrees that it's a nasty club, but he understands why Aisha is upset, because "no one likes to feel rejected". We feel you, Adam. We really really do.

They are walking through... the park I guess? It looks more like a deserted dirt road. But anyway, they get attacked by Tengas and Squatt follows them around with a little vacuum doing... something? The Tengas grab Kim and she immediately screams for Tommy while we imprint out foreheads with our keyboards. He rescues her, of course, and the Tengas quickly fly away. The Hate Master shows up and raps horribly while Squatt hands him all the Hate Dust he collected. That's right. Hate Dust. Apparently the rangers shed hate dust when they fight. It... I don't even have words for how little sense that actually makes.

So the Hate Master puts them under a spell and they all suddenly hate each other! Oh noes! Billy questions why he's hanging out with people of sub-par intellect. Kim wonders why she's hanging out with a nerd. Tommy is just generally grumpy. Rocky and Adam have an homoerotic face off over... absolutely nothing at all, but I swear, they were seriously about to kiss there.

At Aisha's house, we meet her Grandma of Sheer Awesomeness. She knows immediately something is up with Aisha and gets her talking with what is essentially a snap of her fingers. Because she's just THAT awesome. She reassures Aisha, makes her feel better, and then gives her a necklace that has been in the family for generations.

Zordon FINALLY notices something is amiss when Alpha detects an unusually large amount of hate in Angel Grove. It's like he has his own Care-o-Meter! Anyway, the Rangers are being overcome with Hate Particles (really show? I mean... really?), and they decide to contact Aisha as she's the only one unaffected thus far. She tells her Grandma of Sheer Awesomeness that the beeping of her communicator is an alarm to remind her of a meeting she has. Best excuse EVER used on this show, seriously. She talks to Zordon and decides she is going to talk the others out of the Hate Master's spell.

And she DOES! She goes to them in the park, tells them they are under a spell, and just like that the spell wears off and they're all fine. Well okay then, show.

Y'know, this whole episode is eerily similar to the entire first Care Bears Movie, right down to a monster wanting to spread hate throughout the city, only the monster in the Care Bears movie was an awesomely evil book and not an aggravating rapping monster.

Anyway, they go to fight the Hate Master, which has grown, and end up all under it's spell again. They give up mid-fight and make snarky comments, including Billy's "I'm outta here" (link opens best in IE) which he says repeatedly and yet.. never actually leaves. So they all teleport to the Command Center, where they all throw down their communicators and tell Zordon they're done with his old, wrinkly self, by YELLING at him. It's AWESOME.

Aisha doesn't know what to do, but she's determined to stop it. Zordon is going to scan her to figure out why she's not affected by the Hate Master's spell.

To be continued!

Fish: 4

Billy speak: "Why am I hanging out with the intellectually challenged?" Oh evil, hate-filled Billy. You're so damn sexy.

Fic we want: a crossover where THE CAREBEARS SHOW UP TO FIND OUT WHY THE RANGERS HAVE STOPPED CARING because it would be OMGSOAWESOME! No, seriously, I can see it all in my head now! It should exist!

And also, we want hate!sex while under the monster's spell fic. Because it would also be awesome.

Episode 123 - Fourth Down and Long

Today on Power Rangers, it's a Very Special Episode about dyslexia! And football. And about how whenever there's a Rocky centric episode the other Rangers get turned into things.

Honestly, before this episode I would have sworn that I'd seen every episode of MMPR, but I didn't remember this one at all!

We are back in Mr. Wilton's class, where Billy begins the necessary exposition. We find out that apparently Rocky's uncle is a really famous quarterback and he's coming to speak to the football team or something. For some reason, they are just chatting in the middle of class, and the teacher waits until they're done with the conversation before reminding them it's time to put on their safety goggles and start mixing chemicals.

Rocky asks his partner, Alan, (he's partnered with a non-Ranger! Gasp!) to read the formula. His partner reads the formula, Rocky combines the chemicals, and the stuff emits a gas, forcing class to be evacuated, and Mr. Wilton to threaten to kick the partner off the football team. Oh noes!

On the moon, Rita makes fun of their chemistry skills, and Zedd proves he has no athletic talents at all. Finster's centipede monster mold accidentally gets combined with a football, and we get our monster of the week.

Back in Angel Grove, we find out that Bulk and Skull don't appear to go to class anymore, because they're always busy with police things. This time they're guarding Rocky's uncle. Billy reads over the notes, and says that the Alan must have reversed the formula. Rocky offers to tutor Alan, and they have a conversation about how smart Alan is, but how he has trouble reading. After the tutoring session, they realize they missed Uncle Joe, so they go to find him, only to discover that the monster has shown up, and already turned Bulk and Skull into footballs. Alan and Joe soon follow, and Rocky has the best shocked expression on his face. His acting skills have improved a lot, he really sells that anger.

Rocky calls Zordon, who calls the other Rangers, but the other Rangers manage to get themselves turned into footballs. Rocky teleports back to the Command Center and successfully figures out a way to reverse the spell, proving for once and for all, that he is smart. End of discussion. He's also the only one who figures out that maybe you should DODGE THE FOOTBALL that will turn you into a football. FAIL HARDER, RANGERS.

The football fight would have been way more entertaining if there had been football putties instead of tengas. Just for the record.

Anyway, Ninjor shows up to help, and Zordon warns them that there's going to be a snowstorm even though there is NO SNOW in Angel Grove and they go down and reverse the spell and rescue everyone. The monster grows, they punch it, everyone goes home happy. For the record, the snow looks completely ridiculous, like the screen was just all static-y. It gets better once they have the actual Zord fight, but argh.

Later, all the Rangers are having a bad hair day (side effect of being turned into footballs) and Uncle Joe tells them that Alan isn't kicked off the team anymore, because he's fixed everything! It turns out that Uncle Joe also has dyslexia, and he recognized it in Alan, so he got him tested, and sometimes teachers don't recognize it but Mr. Wilton totally has strategies to help him now, and the important thing is that he isn't kicked off the team! Cue very special episode cheering.

Bulk and Skull get in trouble for being afraid of footballs (Which is understandable, since they got TURNED INTO THEM) and then Bulk gets covered in fruit salad. Everyone laughs at them. Oh, SHOW. How about a very special episode about why mocking others is wrong, instead?

Fish: 4. How do you NOT DODGE the football? Also, there is no snow in Angel Grove.

Billy speak: "Judging from the explosion that occurred, and the formula you have written here, I'd say you reversed the elements."
"Yeah, you read them backwards. That's what caused such an adverse reaction."

Covered in: Bulk is covered in fruit salad

Episode 122- Wizard for a Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present for your viewing pleasure, pretty much the only real actual Rocky-centric episode that gives him some semblance of development. Sure we get another one (next episode in fact), but it's not really character development and if I remember correctly, it's more about a FRIEND and random relative than it is Rocky. ANYWAY! Today I get to bask in the glory of TEH PRETTY.

So Billy is doing martial arts with Tommy in the Youth Center. Billy is very pretty. I highly approve of this. He's getting ready to break a board when Rocky comes in with a huge stack of books. Rocky is also very pretty. Not even five minutes in and we're getting one of the prettiest episodes of the season. *happy sigh*

Rocky explains that he's been selected for the Teacher for a Day program Angel Grove High does every single year. He explains it as if he's been party to this program his entire high school career, yet only a few months prior he lived in Stone Canyon. I guess we're supposed to forget that part. So apparently this is a program where for one day a student takes the place of a teacher, teaching all the classes, doing everything the teacher would be doing. The teacher gets to go through the teenager's classes and school day. I have mixed feelings about this program. Anyway, Rocky is carrying all these books because Mr. Wilton, the science teacher (OMG Angel Grove now has THREE teachers! Must have been a big budget year), has given him all his teacher editions to help him in classes the next day.

Next day? Wait. One day to prepare? Rocky gets ONE day to learn course material for all the science classes? That's not very fair. Nevermind that teaching is A LOT more involved than just picking up a book with all the answers and giving that information to the kids. Way way way more involved. You can't just be successful with one day to go over a teacher edition textbook. Wow.

So apparently Mr. Wilton is a bit of a hard ass and the rest of the Rangers don't seem to keen to have him hang out with them all the following day. They jump when he talks, call him Sir all the time, stand at attention, and Tommy even compliments his tie in an effort to suck up. It doesn't appear to work.

The following morning, Rocky shows up to school in a SUIT. And my screen explodes from OMGTHEPRETTYSOSOSOSOPRETTY. My literal words were "HOT DAMN! Rocky in a suit." Bulk and Skull, handing out parking tickets, see Rocky leave a building with all the teacher books. They think perhaps he's trying to cheat and stole the books. This is actually good thinking on their parts! They are determined to investigate and return the "stolen" books. As Rocky heads to class, leaving the books in his locker, Bulk and Skull break in and take the books back. This is actually not too bad of a plan, except they didn't investigate first. Oh boys.

Rocky heads back to his locker but finds the books missing. He can't wait, however, and hurries off to class to teach anyway. He's obviously going over something new and, having had no time to prepare or learn it himself, doesn't do a half bad job of at least naming some of the chemicals he's using. Though he ends up creating a big mess and not actually teaching much. Later, in history class (with yet another teacher that is not Ms. Applebee!), Mr. Wilton, who's name is actually Wilbur (poor guy, Wilbur Wilton? What were his parents thinking?), disrupts things by answering all the questions properly and then telling everybody else to be quiet. He gets sent to the principal's office.

We have to pause here because really? This doesn't make a lot of sense. It would be better to have the teacher there shadowing the student while s/he teaches (and then had the student shadow the teacher while s/he learns on a different day). I mean, they don't even let student teachers run a class unsupervised! Classrooms... well they just don't work like that! But then again, this IS Angel Grove we're talking about and they DO lack quality education. And teachers. Though at a whopping FOUR teachers, the staff really does seem to be growing by leaps and bounds.

So Rito, having observed this odd little program Rocky is taking part in, has decided he wants to do the same thing. He wants to switch places with Rita and Zedd. They are hesitant, but Rita eventually agrees and talks Zedd into going along with it. Rito takes the throne, takes the Z staff, and then comes up with a brilliant plan while Rita and Zedd taunt him. He calls Finster to make him a monster, but Finster refuses. He doesn't serve anybody but Empress Rita! Rito is determined, however, and goes to make a monster himself. Rito is so awesome.

At the end of the school day, Rocky finds Mr. Wilton in the park. Mr. Wilton assures Rocky that he had no idea, it really is hard to be a teenager, much harder than when he was a kid. I'm kind of surprised by that. Being a teenager is hard and a crapshot no matter what era it's in. Rocky agrees that being a teacher is also hard, and then invites Mr. Wilton to the Youth Center. He says he'll follow along shortly and Rocky (OMGSOPRETTYINASUIT) walks off. Mr. Wilton is then attacked by the DUMBEST TENGAS EVER. Goldar has goaded Rito (so the Rita to Rito's Zedd) into sending them down while he finishes up his monster. They apparently think balding, middle aged, blonde haired blue eyed Mr. Wilton is ROCKY. Delicious, dark, Latino ROCKY DESANTOS. Um... yeah. Stupid birds. So they start to haul off Mr. Wilton but Rocky chases after them, uses his communicator to call for help (because he's AWESOME and SMART and KNEW HE HAD ONE), and then attacks in Ninja Mode. He can't hold them off, but the others show up about the same time Rito does. Rito turns MR. WILTON into the monster. That's right, he used a HUMAN BEING, whom he knew the Rangers would NOT hurt, into the MONSTER (and okay, so the turning into a monster was mostly a mistake, but it was still an awesome move!). Because he's freaking BRILLIANT!

So Monster!Mr. Wilton, with a creepy real Mr. Wilton face inside begging for help, starts to turn the others into chemical compounds. He's about to get Rocky when Tommy takes the Heroic Moment of the Day and dramatically pushes him out of the way in slow motion, taking the shot on himself. Really show? Did Tommy HAVE to have a dramatic hero moment in this episode? I mean, at least the whole episode isn't Secretly About Tommy, but this is Rocky's episode, one of the precious precious few we get (which I cling to tenaciously, stroke, and call My Precious). Let HIM have the hero moments.

So with everybody else turned into chemical compounds, Rito collects them all and then taunts Rocky. But Rocky is smart. He steals them back from Rito and then immediately teleports out of there and straight to the Command Center. Alpha, unfortunately, knows how to turn Rangers from soccer balls (oddly enough, in the OTHER Rocky-centric episode we get) back into Rangers, but NOT from chemical compounds back into Rangers. He starts freaking out, but Rocky uses his head! He remains calm and focused on the problem at hand, calming Alpha enough to help build a device that will change them back from a liquid state. Because Rocky is AWESOME and a GREAT leader. Too bad he never got to BE leader, since it was stolen from him and all. Not that I'm still bitter or anything. Ahem.

So everybody is back to their normal selves and Rocky comes up with a plan to destroy the monster to set Mr. Wilton free, and everybody says this was all thanks to the teaching for a day thing. Which... um... okay? I don't quite see how that's helping AT ALL here, but whatever. Fish. Move on.

So they go fight, Rito makes Monster!Mr. Wilton grow, they call the zords. They give him a smack down and Rocky, feeling responsible (how is it your fault, honey? I don't know), goes to finish him off alone. It takes one hit and the monster is gone, leaving Mr. Wilton lying in the grass in the park. The Rangers rush to make sure he's okay.

Back in the Youth Center later that day, Rocky talks about being a teacher and how it's hard and lots of work and we're all really? You think? DUH! Mr. Wilton learned to relax a little, and is now telling the story of how the Power Rangers rescued him. To ALL the teenage girls. He's VERY popular with the teenage girls. He seems pleased. I'm incredibly squicked out. Dude, it's not good to be middle aged and surrounded by teenage girls like that. It's CREEPY.

Bulk and Skull show up with the "stolen" teachers editions and give them back to Mr. Wilton. They accuse Rocky of cheating and Mr. Wilton defends him, making Bulk and Skull quake in their boots, call him Sir, and run away. Everyone laughs and I'm just... still kind of creeped out by Mr. Wilton and all the girls. (and I really think Rocky would have done FINE if he'd had the books the whole time)

4 fish because education doesn't work like that, but at least it wasn't entirely Secretly About Tommy.

Episode 121 - Passing the Lantern

Somehow we managed to arrange it (purely by accident, I swear) so that I get to recap one of our rare Adam-centric episodes, and Queenriley gets to recap the even rarer Rocky-centric one right after it! This is exciting!

Amazingly, this episode is actually about Adam, and not one of those secretly about Tommy ones that pop up more often later on!

The episode opens in the Youth Center, with Aisha and Billy discussing their boyfriend. Adam is off at a family reunion, and they hope it goes well, because they know how important family is to Adam, and how much he wants to make them proud.

Adam returns, with a gorgeous lantern (referred to in the show as an Oriental lantern - it is later mentioned that Adam is Korean-American, but that isn't for another seasson, and the garden has a sign on it saying that it's a Japanese garden, and anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. For the purpose of the recap I am going to use the show's terminology. Which was my point) and we're told that he's been chosen as his generation's guardian of the lantern, which is supposed to have some sort of powers. This of course means that Rita and Zedd want to steal it.

There's an inscription on the lantern, but Adam can't read the language. Bulk and Skull overhear Adam say it's a mystery, and try to read it themselves, but all they can come up with is 'don't try to read something not in English.'

Billy takes Adam to Ko's Japanese garden, and explains that Ko is an old friend of his family. The garden really is gorgeous. Ko has a ton of lanterns, and Adam admires the collection. Ko shows Adam one and reads the inscription, which translates to "the dragon you fear is only as potent as your imagination" which Adam figures out means that fear is only as powerful as you make it. Aww, Adam is smart. *adores* Ko then translates Adam's lantern (and we never do find out what language it's in - which is a) problematic as they're just lumping all of Asia together under "The Orient" and b) annoying for my personal headcanon.) The inscription on Adam's lantern states "The lamp may light the path, but the soul must light the way." Adam finds this one harder to figure out.

The other Rangers (except Kimberly) wander through the paths of the garden and mention that Kim is starting up a garden at Aisha's house, but she's really busy preparing for a gymnastics competition. However, their lovely threesome walk in the park is ruined as Rito and some tengas show up, while Squatt and Babboo try to steal Adam's lantern. The five Rangers all morph into the ninja costumes, and there's a pretty good fight. Squatt and Babboo end up taking all the lanterns, and Adam is very sad. Adam does very sad really well.

Adam is concerned about how he let down his family! (There is a reason this boy is my favorite, for real) and Bulk and Skull say that they are on the case. This is... not comforting. But they do manage to see Rito going through the lanterns, and Rito throws Adam's lantern towards them before teleporting away, leading to them screaming, wondering why they're screaming, and then realizing that it's because a bunch of aliens just used their powers in front of them leading to them continuing screaming. Oh, BOYS. We also find out that the Junior Police Patrol has a handbook. You would think that "what do you do in a monster attack" would be on page one.

Rita and Zedd choose one of the lanterns to be their lantern monster, and then return the other ones so that it won't clutter up the moon. That's really considerate of them!

The Lanterra monster attacks Bulk and Skull (And we like this monster, it is hilarious) and the two soon run into Adam and Aisha, who are still searching for Adam's lantern. (By searching I mean that Aisha is clearly indulging Adam's crazy need to search himself, even thought he Command Center is also scanning for it. However, considering that the Command Center hasn't noticed the monster yet, I can totally get why Adam wants to search himself.) Adam asks the Command Center if they see anything unusual on the viewing globe, and look! A monster! Way to notice ANYTHING, Zordon.

Adam doesn't want to attack the lantern monster because he's afraid of damaging it. Which is adorable but... don't Rita and Zedd's monsters usually revert to whatever they're made out of after? But then Adam figures out that the inscription on the lantern meant that the power is inside of him, not the lantern, so he beats up the lantern monster. Because he is awesome. Then Rita and Zedd make it grow, and there are Zords summoned, and Ninjor shows up, because he actually pays attention to these things.

Back at the Youth Center, Adam is still trying to pretend that he's okay with destroying the lantern. Kim and Rocky try to comfort him, but then Bulk and Skull show up with Adam's lantern! Yay! They tell some ridiculous story about how they fought off the monster, and then they end up slipping where Ernie mopped. I didn't see any sign saying there was a wet floor, Ernie! You fail!

During the credits, Skull finds a fish in his shoe. THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

Fish: 2

Episode 120- A Brush with Destiny

Today on Power Rangers- Kim is awesome. Yet again.

We start with our new opening and a very pretty cast. We discuss just how pretty they are. I say they're the second prettiest cast. TSB says the prettiest. It's a rousing debate.

But, uh, in actual plot... well... there really isn't one. There is an art benefit show for the Junior Police Patrol and it's taking place in the Youth Center. Kim's New Daddy is there and he's apparently a French painter. Who is... painting in Angel Grove? Really? You have FRANCE to paint, and you decide to go to Angel Grove? My only explanation is that he's not a very good painter. At this art benefit show, Bulk and Skull are placed in charge of guarding the New Daddy's painting. They both fall asleep instead and the painting goes missing. Upon waking up, they assume it's been stolen, and begin to interrogate the general population.

So Kim is all nervous about having to move to France. She talks to Aisha on the phone (corded phones, in the bedroom and living room respectively, connected to landlines. Oh we are so old) and feels a little better, but ends up having horrible nightmares anyway.

So she meets up with her friends at the park the next day. She's exhausted and Adam suggests talking to Zordon about her concerns. Billy is sure Zordon already knows and I cringe. Really, Billy? Zordon already knows? Zordon never pays attention! Unless the fish demand it for plot purposes, of course. They get attacked by Tengas before any further planning can be done. Somehow, during this Tenga fight, Angel Grove Park has magically grown a cave and a rock outcropping, since half the footage has them fighting in mountains, and the other half has them fighting in the lush greenery of the park. Rito and Goldar show up, gets the Tengas to grab Kim and essentially hold her against a tree, and Rito slaps her hand which makes her lose her communicator. They use a new device Finster created and presented to Rita as a gift, and steal the monster from Kim's dream.

Later at school (what, does their school day start at 3pm or something?), people have lots and lots of time to just mill about in the hallways. The rangers get called by Zordon and go to the Command Center, leaving Kim behind. Everyone is unaware she does not have her communicator. They morph and go fight. Tommy lunges at the Painter Mole Monster and goes right through him, despite Billy's pleading to work as a team. Really, Tommy, didn't you learn that lesson already? Five or six times? Anyway, they can't win on their own and Kim is still nowhere to be found, so they call on Ninjor. He comes riding in on a cloud crying out "You have nothing to fear, Ninjor is here!" and he is now incredibly awesome and I love him so.

So even with Ninjor they can't beat this paint guy and he zaps them with his brush, draining them of their colour, or rather, turning them to grey scale. This somehow has sapped them of their power as well, though they all remain morphed.

At school, Kim can't find anybody and realizes her communicator is missing. She retraces her steps and finally finds it in the park when it beeps ever so conveniently while she's standing there. She goes to the Command Center and assures Zordon the monster is from her dream. She's not afraid of it and Zordon goes off on a tangent of Plot Convenience where he tells her not to worry about moving to France, that her mother only has her best interest at heart *cough*bullshit*cough*. Kim feels reassured and goes to fight.

Once again, she is awesome, and beats the monster on her own which gives the others, who stood around doing nothing by the way, their colours back. But, angered at his apparent loss, Zedd makes the monster grow. We spend the entire zord summoning and battle discussing how Rocky's zord doesn't look much like an ape, but it does look vaguely human, and humans are in the ape family, so his zord could really be Cousin to the Ape Zord instead of the Ape Zord. Anyway, they win, of course.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull have found the painting they thought was stolen and discover the painter, New Daddy, had merely taken it in to repair the frame. It's a really bad, really ugly painting. Kim rushes up to tell her mom that she loves her and knows she's looking out for her best interest (which I still call bullshit!), but that she's nervous about moving to Paris and learning a new language and school and whatnot. Kim's mother says it will be okay if they're honest. Then Aisha and her parents walk up and offer to take Kim in while her mother moves to Paris. Aisha's parents take in Kim... while her mother MOVES TO PARIS. WITHOUT HER. Now, that's insanely awesome of Aisha's parents, but Kim's mother just agrees! Right there on the spot! No consideration, no thinking, no discussing it at all! Just "You really want to? Sure, okay!" So she pawns her daughter off on somebody else while she goes gallivanting around a new country HALF A WORLD AWAY from her UNDERAGE daughter.

That's not even taking into consideration Kim's FATHER! He supposedly still lives in Angel Grove. Why doesn't she live with him? Does he not get a say in what COUNTRY his own child lives in? Seriously? Why wasn't he included in this lack-of-discussion?

Kim has horrible parents.

And on that note, 4.5 fish. Just... no.

Episode 119- Ninja Quest Part 4

Previously, on Power Rangers - OMGTHE.... oh, wait. That was THREE EPISODES ago. Previously on Power Rangers - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED. Well, Adam became a frog, but he didn't even sulk about it!

The episode opens with them summoning Zords. This is... not a good sign. High fight episodes never go well. But they summon their Zords, which are apparently coming from a city, even though they should still be in the desert of whatever. And I'm not really sure why the wolf zord appears to live on top of a building - if I lived in Angel Grove, I would totally try to get to the roof and hang out by the Zord. Anyway, the Zords all go and fight Rito, and some of them have fun powers. Wolf Zord does a few flips and hits Rito with his tail, the bear Zord apparently can cause an earthquake (Way to accidentally break the city, Aisha!), Frog Zord spits fire, Ape Zord has some weapons, and so on. Rito is all "haha, that tickles" so they form into the Megazord, and Rito is just glad that he only has 1 target instead of 5. (He's not counting Tommy either.) So then Tommy's Zord joins with them and they fly up, and Rito uses his jet pack, which is pretty awesome. The Megazord kicks Rito in the face, and then they punch him, and he runs away. (The wolf and ape are the arms)

Queenriley: way to double team him Billy and Rocky!
TSB: that sounds so wrong

Up on the moon, Zedd is angry that the Rangers have new Zords, and Goldar is frustrated. We can't really blame him - he just went from Jason to Rito for a boyfriend! The villains calm down and remember that the Vampirus egg is still about to hatch.

Back on Earth, it is time for the Bulk and Skull training montage. Bulk and Skull get an awesome theme song, and we adore them.

At the Command Center, the alarms go off. There is apparently a great disturbance in the force, although they don't know where it is. It's not in Angel Grove, so it must not be on Earth. You guys, we were wrong. Angel Grove isn't its own country, Angel Grove is a PLANET. Then Billy miraculously fixes something, and they realize that the Vampirus egg has hatched and the temple is being attacked.

.... Oh no, it's another Zord fight. But at least Ninjor gets to fight also! Ninjor is awesome! He turns into his own Zord! Anyway, fight, punch, win, really boring. Two Zord fights is one too many. Back at the Command Center, the Rangers watch on the viewing globe as Ninjor tells them they're now allies in the fight against evil. They'll be able to call on his amazing powers of snark at any time!

We end the episode at Bulk and Skull's graduation. The Rangers all go, which is really sweet of them. And they're actually all really happy for Bulk and Skull! Way to be good friends, Rangers! Of course, it wouldn't be the show if Bulk and Skull didn't make fools of themselves, but seriously, so awesome.

Fish: 3.5 There was a lot of stupid stuff in the Zord fights.

Episode 118- Ninja Quest Part 3

Previously on Power Rangers- OMGTHEZORDSBLEWUP. No really, that's still the main thing that looms over everything. For the love of all that is good and wonderful in the world THE FREAKING ZORDS BLEW UP! *cries*

So we pick up with the Rangers having gone through the hologram rock face and we discover they are searching for Tommy in a gorgeous temple with beautiful outdoor gardens. He's apparently run off and is somehow way way far ahead of them. I'm guessing nobody ever told him that if he gets lost, he should stay where he is. Either that or Tommy's just selfish, inconsiderate, and STUPID. Anyway, they finally catch up to him at some gate thing and he's all "Where have you guys been?" and I'm just... really? Can I smack him? YOU DON'T GO WANDERING OFF ON YOUR OWN IN A STRANGE PLACE! Geez, even 4 year old Emo Kid knows that.

So they go through the gate and it closes behind them, trapping them in some open room with an overactive smoke machine and a bunch of candles. A little voice tells them to go away and they ask for Ninjor, but the voice says he doesn't know a Ninjor. Billy looks inside a blue vase and sees a little blue man inside. They insult the little blue man, who in turn calls Billy a "snippity youngster" and seals himself in my heart FOREVER. Oh Ninjor, I love you and your snarky goodness. He calls Kim a rude little girl and they all turn to leave. Tommy makes a speech even cornier than the movie and they decide their goodness will have to be enough. Ninjor overhears and determines they are worthy of mind and spirit and should receive the Ninja powers.

Back in Angel Grove, Bulk and Skull are filling out a huge stack of paperwork at the Junior Police Patrol Headquarters. Lt. Stone approaches them and takes them off to the barber to receive haircuts. Okay, readers, I'm sure this makes me a very shallow person, but I could CRY at this scene. I love hair. Like, a lot. Like, if you were privy to the actual IM conversations TSB and I actually have during these recaps, you'd wonder why I'm so obsessed with the hair. I love long hair. Anything I can run my fingers through or play with (like Rocky's adorably floppy locks!). So watching them SHAVE off Bulk's impressively silky ponytail? It hurts, dear readers. And Skull's thick black tresses? Oh god. I don't do buzz cuts. I don't even give Emo Kid a buzz cut, EVER, because I hate them so much. And Bulk and Skull had really really nice hair, but Bulk in particular. I ADORED his long long hair. So soft! So silky! So well taken care of and just touchable! And so very very gone. *sobs*

And... now that I've scared away half our readership, um... let's get back to the Rangers, shall we? So they're all standing around Ninjor and they're in their Ninja robes now. He says they've completed their journey and frankly, I think that's crap. They didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything, and that wasn't much of a "journey". But okay. So they end up very obviously posed out on the rocks of the temple where they learn about their spirit animals. Rocky, with his wisdom and strength, is the ape. Aisha's bear reflects her might and cunning. Billy's wolf has stealth and accuracy. Kim's crane has her beauty, grace, and speed. Adam is a frog, wise and courageous! And Tommy is told to immerse himself in his falcon's justice and strength.

Back at the Junior Police Patrol, we get a training montage! And it is awesome the lengths Bulk and Skull go to in order to avoid doing the actual task at hand. Seriously, we both would love to have watched a show of just Bulk and Skull, and we're both sad it never panned out.

Determined to go save Angel Grove, the rangers leave the temple and immediately attack the Tengas outside. They show of their new tricks, like teleporting, and Rocky even rides on the back of one Tenga as it flies. The Tengas even have their own fight music, though I don't like it nearly as much as the fight music of earlier seasons, and I really really miss the putties in their awesome interpretive dancing glory.

We then cut to the mess that is the Command Center and poor Alpha trying to fix it all on his own. He's managed to get the viewing globe up at least, and they observe the Rangers kicking Tenga Tail. Alarms go off and alert them to Rito storming the castle, I mean, attacking Angel Grove. Zordon says he's not surprised, he knew Rito would team up with his sister eventually. Wait. What? Zordon is... just now noticing Rito is there? Um... then what was all that about RITO BEING THERE WHEN THE ZORDS BLEW UP??? We also wonder what Rito was doing this whole time during the quest. Was he standing around all big and huge twiddling his thumbs? Why didn't he attack Angel Grove while the Zords were being blown up? Or while the Rangers were walking to the Command Center? Or while they were on the Ninja quest? Seriously, what was he doing that whole time? (we can only assume the fish held him back, but really)

So the rangers beat off the Tengas and need to get back to Angel Grove. They morph in order to call on the zords and... that's it. That's all we get. Okay then.

List time:
1 fish. Seriously. Just one. Because NOTHING HAPPENED.

Billy speak: none... and I don't think we get any in later episodes either...

Covered in food: nobody! Yay!

Episode 117 - Ninja Quest - Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - OHHOLYSHITTHEZORDSBLEWUP!

Wow, this is a really effective opening - the Rangers are wandering through the rubble. Flames and smoke and utter destruction... it's pretty gut wrenching. The last time the Zords were destroyed, it was awful bad, but it was nothing like this. There was no close up inspection of the damage, and just... heartbreaking. Especially when they realize they've lost their powers as well.

Billy says it's going to be a long walk back to the Command Center, but... um... Billy, honey? What happened to the radbug? I like that car! (Maybe it's just that 6 of them won't fit? Look, Aisha and Kim are tiny, they could squeeze in!) And how long does it take them to walk to the Command Center anyway? I mean, it's miles away, there's no way they can get there that quickly.

At the Command Center, Tommy wants to know if Billy has good news, but there really isn't any. Apparently the central processor has been damaged, and Billy has no idea how to fix that at all. However, Adam is smart, and he asks where their powers came from. That's a really good question! So Zordon tells us that according to legend the coins and Zords were created by this guy named Ninjor, who supposedly lives in a Hidden Temple, and may be just a legend. And then Alpha asks about the suspiciously convenient plot device map that they found, and the Rangers decide that they will go and find the temple. They get into that stance from the end of the movie from when they're bringing Zordon back to life, and we briefly take time to marvel at the fact that Aisha is almost as short as we are! (Tiny and adorable, for real.) And also to discuss how ridiculous short Kimberly's shirt is, and to ponder why she's wearing long sleeves and shorts. What the hell, wardrobe department?

Back in Angel Grove, Bulk and Skull are carrying out Bulk's plan of joining the junior police patrol. When asked for their reason for joining, Skull answers to "impress the girls." When told they need a better reason, Bulk answers instead that they meant to say "to protect the girls!" .... Well, it's a start, anyway. Skull notes that it's a lot of running, which is clearly practice for when he remembers that he's a Time Lord. But Bulk drags him off to register anyway.

Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd are celebrating their defeat of the Rangers, and Rita uses her new telescope to spy on her eggs. As much as we're going to miss the putties, I still have a soft spot for the tengas. And Rito is a pretty awesome brother! (And he calls Goldar "Goldie." I totally ship Goldar/Rito.) Rita is very excited to get her own Tengas, and Rito starts going on about how hard Rita is to shop for, and starts telling the story of how at one point she got a dragon for her birthday but she really wanted a planet, so she used the dragon to burn down the house. I feel that more details about this incident need to exist. Get on this, fandom!

Rita notices that one of the eggs didn't hatch, but Rito tells her it's a vampirus monster, which is apparently too nasty for Finster's taste. Exciting! Zedd then manages to spy on the Rangers in an alternate dimension with the desert or whatever, and somehow knows that they're headed to Ninjor's temple. ... If Zedd knows where the temple is, why hasn't he destroyed it? But Rita has a plan - wait for the Rangers to find the temple, plant the vampirus egg in front of the entrance, and then destroy the Rangers! That is... a good plan! You go, Rita!

The Rangers are wandering through the desert, and we get distracted by how damn pretty they are. Seriously, there aren't a lot of notes from this part of the episode, unless you would like to hear us discuss how it isn't fair that Adam is the only one not showing off his arms, and how adorably floppy Rocky's hair is.

But things actually happen on their quest. Kim picks up a rock, which bursts into flames and destroys their map, and then Aisha gets caught in some quick sand but the other Rangers pull her out. (... I am not going to comment on the fact that it is the two female Rangers who run into the traps, because I will just get grumpy and start sighing "OH, SHOW" and not in the good way.)

They then find a formation of rock that might lead to the temple, and then get attacked by Tengas. The Tengas promptly kick their butts, and the Rangers find an opening in the rocks, and go through. Adam leans against a rock, which opens up another hidden door. They go through, and come to a dead end. Tommy runs towards the dead end in anger (maybe he was going to punch the rock?) and disappears through it. The other Rangers decide to follow, and the to be continued flashes on the screen...

Fish: 2.5. Convenient plot device indeed.

Episode 116- Ninja Quest Part 1

So I don't have the dvds of this season, and the copies I'm watching have the German title screens. Today we're watching Das Ninja- Abenteuer.

We start out at a volleyball game that involves far too much clothing. The Ranger, I mean, the Angel Grove team is trailing behind the Stone Canyon team. Ernie promises the winners free lunch at his new outdoor cafe. Adam scores the tying point.

At Rita and Zedd's palace, Zedd has blindfolded his wife and is leading her to a large present. She takes the blindfold off and he removes the cover to reveal a new telescope, which she calls a Repulsascope, in which to watch the Rangers on Earth! What an awesome anniversary present! Meanwhile, something crashes nearby. We discover it's a skeleton guy and he buries some eggs.

Back on Earth, Billy saw the flash and is distracted during the volleyball game. He misses the shot and it hits Bulk in the head instead. The Rangers gather around to discuss what happened... mid-game. The only thing I really noticed about this scene is that the Rangers, while all wearing red shirts, have colour coded their shorts to their colours, except Kim who is wearing white pants.

Back at the evil palace, the crashed skeleton flies into Zedd's throne room. He's about to kick out the intruder when Rita stops him. This skeleton is none other than her brother, Rito Revolto! We kind of love Rito. He's... unique. The eggs are a wedding present for Rita and Zedd but he won't tell them what they are until they hatch. They come up with a plan to attack Angel Grove and send Rito down in front of an army of monsters to trick the Power Rangers.

Billy scores the winning point and Ernie is so happy he offers free lunch to EVERYBODY. Oh Ernie, how do you ever make any money? So at the outdoor cafe, everyone is enjoying free sandwiches. Bulk stuffs some in his vest and we are about to get all mad when he overhears some girls talking about loving men in uniforms (though they are specifically talking about the Power Rangers), and Bulk comes up with a brilliant idea. Skull spills milkshake/smoothie/thick drink of some sort all over Bulk while trying to get everyone's attention. Bulk announces that he and Skull are going to join the Junior Police Patrol and all mouths drop wide open in utter shock. Even Skull is surprised. We, however, just love the idea. It's the start of some solid and consistent character growth for these two and we're looking forward to it.

Zedd sends down the monsters, Rito and four of Finster's previous monsters, and they all hide. Except Rito who is the decoy. He sits down in the middle of the park and waits. Zordon is actually paying attention for a change and sends the Rangers in to find out what Zedd has left in the park. They answer their communicators in the middle of the crowded outdoor cafe. Really guys? Not so much with the SECRET part of secret identities there.

So they go to the park and confront Rito, who immediate grows in a new monster-growing sequence. Rita and Zedd cross staffs and chant a spell, which makes the monsters grow. It's pretty awesome. So he's all big and the Rangers summon their zords. 12 minutes in and we get zords. This NEVER goes well when it's this early.

They fight for a minute but then the other four monsters come out of hiding and grow. The Rangers are overwhelmed and quickly losing power. Alpha takes the Power Accelerator from the fish and begin boosting the power, but it's not enough and the Power Accelerator is quickly overloading. Zordon warns that if it shorts out, the Rangers will lose their powers. We don't know how that works, but it's quickly forgotten in what I feel is one of the most emotional and well done scenes of this entire series.

The power overloads. The Rangers quickly abandon the Zords. They force demorph and just as they are trying to figure out what's going on, there are some massive explosions. The Zords are blowing up, from the inside out. They literally fall to pieces right in front of our eyes. Kim screams and tries to run for them, but Adam and Billy hold her back. It's devastating, watching the Zords just fall apart like that, and it still hurts my heart to this day, no matter how many times I've watched it happen.

To Be Continued (or in my copy, Fortsetzung Folgt)


Fish: 3, mostly for the Power Accelerator bit.

Billy speak: none, alas

Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in smoothie

Episode 115 - A Friend In Need Part 3

THANK GOD THIS IS OVER. We're going to start the REAL season 3 on Thursday. Then we can go back pretending this didn't exist. At least there was some completely ridiculous innuendo in this episode. We approve of that.

Anyway, the episode opens with Kim fighting the monster. Zordon and Alpha know how awesome Kim is, because they point out the only reason she isn't winning already is because she's really sick. You go, Kim! Zordon says it will be okay, because Kimberly is really resourceful. And she is! She sneezes on the monster, and he gets sick and runs away, not even paying attention to Kimberly's advice on how to get better. (We would like to feed the monster some matzoh ball soup. Mmmmsoup.)

Alpha summons a flying fish to call Tommy on Edenoi, and Tommy says they're busy fighting, so they can't come back yet. Adam expresses concern about Earth, because he is a good boy, and he takes his responsibilities seriously. But they have to help Dex first.

On the moon, the monster is all miserable, and Rita demands that Finster cure the monster immediately. I'm just saying, if Rita and Zedd can come up with a miracle cure for a cold, I would gladly elect them rulers of the world. I hate being sick. The monster has a pretty good work ethic - he's all worried that Rita and Zedd are mad at him, so he doesn't want to rest up, he needs to fight the Rangers first, and then he can go recover. Finster points out that he needs to rest or he'll never get better, and I wonder if the show is trying to tell me that I should call in sick tomorrow since I'm not feeling well.

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull are trying to impress those two girls by dressing up as Power Rangers. They are ridiculously dorky. They tell the girls that they are the Power Rangers, in living spandex, and that the other Rangers are off polishing their Zords, and I nearly fall off the couch laughing.

On Edenoi, Dex pulls a sword out of his belt in a RIDICULOUSLY phallic gesture, and there is more laughing, because Queenriley and I are secretly twelve. The bad guys run away, and then they claimed that Dex escaped, except he didn't escape, they RAN AWAY. Instead of chasing after Dex, Count Dregon decides he'll just follow the Power Rangers back to Earth, even though they just beat him. Whatever.

Now that the Rangers are back on Earth, the monster grows and terrorizes Bulk and Skull, and then the Rangers summon their Zords (Rocky has to remind Tommy to do it) and there's an incredibly long fight and then they summon the thundersabre and it's all over.

At the Command Center, the Rangers go on about how glad they are that Lexian is safe, and that's when the episode descends COMPLETELY into fish. 1-They never saw Lexian. 2-How is Lexian safe, his planet is under attack. 3-Also, they're pumping poisonous gas into the atmosphere. Adam is all worried about the Edenites, and Billy's alien fetish is showing.

On Edenoi, Lexian tells Dex that their planet is lost (I guess he wasn't so safe after all!) and sends Dex to Earth to stop Dregon and make sure nothing similar happens there. You can find out what happens with that if you watch Masked Rider, but frankly, I don't recommend it.

Fish - 3. What was that nonsense about Lexian?

Episode 114- A Friend in Need Part 2

Today on Power Rangers- the most exposition-centric episode ever.

Okay, so we start off with the rangers and their new "friends" running into the Cave of Exposition. Barely past the mouth of the cave, Dex determines the air is safe to breath and demorphs. Billy is surprised he's humanoid, but I don't know why he's surprised since they were just fighting these guys. Anyway, all the Edenites have shiny stickers, I mean crystals, stuck on their foreheads. These are MIND CRYSTALS and allow them to communicate visually. For exposition purposes, in this show. Tommy comments on their differences (really Tommy? What the crap?) and then, upon learning the planet is enslaved, Adam asks why they let that happen. Oh Adam, honey, no. Just... no. Don't blame the victims! It's not okay. Really, show, did that NEED to be pointed out to you? If I hadn't had as much beer as is actually in my system, that would have set me right off. *sigh*

We get lots of exposition where Dex tells us all about things I don't give a damn about.

Back in Angel Grove, poor Kim is still sick with the flu (as I am recovering from the flu). Bulk and Skull, in the Youth Center, overhear a hot girl invite her friend to a threesome at Sean's house. I knew a Sean once. He played bagpipes (and was hot). Therefore, in my mind, all boys named Sean are awesome... except for the Shawn that Tanya dates in later seasons, because he was a jerk, but his name was Shawn and not Sean so... Sean still stands as awesome. Anyway! So I approve of these girls and their plan to hang out at Sean's house, regardless of how stupid the girls show themselves to be later. Bulk wants to impress the girls and decides that he and Skull, with his classic good looks, should pretend to know where the Power Rangers will be hanging out and have a loud conversation about it. The girls overhear, proving that it is indeed possible to eavesdrop on a loud conversation in the Youth Center, therefor EVERYBODY probably knows who the Power Rangers are at this point. Said girls fall for it and decide to go find the Power Rangers.

Back on Edenoi we talk some more about things I don't care about for a show that is not Power Rangers, and then they get attacked by the Four Horsemen of the Not Really The Apocalypse, and some freaking adorable little bad guys called cogwarts. They use the same shot for these guys about twenty times. Dex turns back into the Masked Rider and the rangers go back to action and they all fight, except the friends who were very competent in fighting the rangers, but apparently are unable to fight the actual bad guys.

Back in Angel Grove, Finster's monster is ready and gets sent down. Poor ill Kim has to go fight it by herself. She is AWESOME and I give her major credit for fighting while all flu-ridden (seriously, I can't even manage to do the dishes with my flu, I barely make it to work, and she's fighting monsters? You are my sickspiration, Kim).

Is it over yet? There's a part 3? Damn.

3 fish. It wasn't fishy, just outright BAD.

Billy speak: "We were told to assess the situation and report back on your well-being."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 113 - A Friend in Need - Part 1

Season 3! We are only.... 6 weeks behind schedule. Um. Sorry? Unfortunately, we don't even start this season with something good. Instead, we get a Poorly Disguised Pilot for Masked Rider. Look, I understand that Kamen Rider is apparently awesome (I haven't seen any of it), but wow, is Masked Rider bad. I watched Masked Rider. I also watched VR Troopers, Beetleborgs, Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad, and Mystic Knights. I enjoyed Mystic Knights. Masked Rider is just really that bad. Just look at the opening theme! It is JUST BAD.

(I swear, when we get through all however many seasons of PR, I'm going to make recap the rest of the Saban ridiculous shows with me. Just so you all know.)

Anyway. The actual recap. Alpha is one very sad robot, and he and Zordon give us a lot of exposition that I do not care about. Alpha was made on a distant planet called Edenoi by a king named Lexian and now some bad things are happening and Alpha is really worried. Alpha loves Lexian a lot. It's actually really cute, Alpha is all emo!Robot.

Back at the Youth Center, Aisha calls Kim up on the phone, and we find out that Kim has the flu and is stuck in bed. Poor Kim. :( That really sucks. While Aisha is on the phone, Tommy and Rocky spar in the background, and I could do with more shots of Rocky in between Tommy's legs. Adam is doing school work, and then Billy comes in. He's apparently installed some sort of plot device in their communicators, and when he called up Alpha to ask how it's working, Alpha sounded sad. Adam suggests that maybe Alpha is lonely, and then asks if robots can get lonely. Aww, Adam. *pets him* The Rangers decide they should go to the Command Center and check up on Alpha, which is adorable and they are apparently trying to be good friends this season.

Up on the moon, Zedd is busy being pissed off because Count Dragon is attacking the planet Edenoi, and he's always trying to be better at being evil than Zedd is. There's some bickering, and Rita tells Zedd that Finster has created an awesome monster, and Zedd says that the monsters Finsster creates can't even walk and chew gum at the same time. Congrats, Zedd, you win the episode.

At the Command Center, Zordon has apparently finished filling them in on the exposition from earlier, so then there's some more exposition for Masked Rider that I still don't care about, and the Rangers decide that because they love Alpha so much, they'll go check on his friend on Edenoi even though it will be dangerous. It is actually really adorable! Good for them! But then a fish swoops in and we find out that being far away from Earth might make them have less power or something. Whatever. They teleport out, leaving a flu-filled Kimberly as Earth's only defender, because I don't think VR Troopers or Beetleborgs have started yet.

As soon as the Rangers leave, Goldar suggests attacking Earth. he's totally the smart one. Apparently Finstser's monster will have to do, and Zedd wants Earth conquered by sundown.

On Edenoi there are... a lot of rocks. And some explosions. And then they meet Dex (WHO CANNOT ACT, OMG SO BAD. Even at his most constipated Austin St John showed more emotion than that) and the rest of his gang, who are doing something with pockets of poisonous gas. They're all wearing gas masks and it's like something straight out of Doctor Who They refuse to believe that the Rangers are good guys just so we can have a fight scene. It's a really long fight scene, and Dex has apparently been taking lessons in speeches from Sailor Moon (Youtube is failing me. I wanted one of the ridiculously long ones in English, but you get the idea!) Anyway, the bad speech ends, and they fight, and the Edenites refuse to listen to reason.

Until Dragon decides to start firing on all of them. That convinces Dex that the Rangers must be telling the truth and they're good guys, because not even Dragon is evil enough to fire on his own soldiers. AHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway. Now that they're friends, they run to go find shelter. We get a to be continued sign.

There are two more episodes in this. Please shoot me. On the bright side, during the credits we get a clip of Tommy telling a bunch of kids that using their brain is important, so at least we get to laugh about that?

Fish: 3. There was some yelling early in the episode, and Dex is an idiot, but the episode was just bad, not so much fishy.