Episode 338 - Journey's End, Part 3

So! After an epic start to the finale, we reach the FINAL EPISODE. We're ending Lost Galaxy, you guys! I can't believe it! (Mark, since you've said you were looking forward to these recaps, I hope they live up to your expectations!)

Trakeena makes her way to the cocoon, and she has a flashback to her father telling her about it. She's going to turn herself into a bug! Her daddy will be so proud of her! The whole transformation sequence is HORRIFIC and there's green goo and it is DISGUSTING.

On the moon, Leo looks at his ruined jammer and tries to contact anyone, but everything is broken. He sees Trakeena's crashed ship and goes to investigate.

On the new world, Mike tells the Commander that everyone is accounted for (EXCEPT LEO). He's told to try and count the food and water supplies, and he worries about Leo, as do the rest of the Rangers.

Leo tracks the green goo to the ruins of Terra Venture where we get our first glimpse of the transformed Trakeena.  They must have had fun destroying this set. Trakeena uses her new powers to power up the city (which, considering the state of destruction, is REALLY IMPRESSIVE) and launch it into space.

Leo makes his way to the Command and he's like "WTF DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF, TRAKEENA?" and the two fight. She's all crashing the ship into the planet, and he fights her unmorphed and it is FABULOUS and then she throws him out a window and he manages to morph as he falls. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT?

She's got a bunch of awesome new powers and the fight is amazing. Somehow the feed of the fight is being fed to the commanders on the new world, and Mike lets the others know, and they get in the jammers to go after Leo and help him stop Trakeena before she crashes Terra Venture into them. Trakeena is just threatening to EAT LEO when the other Rangers show up.

The fight scene that follows is FABULOUS. Trakeena is beating the crap out of them. Everyone on the new world watches as Terra Venture slowly approaches. The Rangers try their weapons but have no luck. Their motorcycles don't work. They are losing BADLY. Even Leo's special motorcycle fails to do the trick, and Terra Venture is still crashing.

Finally Leo summons his battlizer of fug and grabs Trakeeena and pulls her into him as she struggles to escape and he shoots her at POINT BLANK RANGE even though the explosion should destroy them BOTH and FAVORITE TROPE, YOU GUYS. I LOVE THIS SO FREAKING MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

So Trakeena is destroyed and everyone is flipping out about him sacrificing himself to save the colony, but somehow he managed to survive although his visor is totally destroyed. I'm not sure how it didn't force him to demorph, but WHATEVER, THAT SEQUENCE WAS AWESOME.

They still have the whole ship crashing into the colony problem though. And then the Megazord shows up out of nowhere and crashes it away from the colony, destroying a section of jungle and I'm super impressed that they managed to pull off an Enterprise D destruction sequence twice in three episodes.

Everyone thinks the Rangers are destroyed, but they and the fug zords show up and everyone cheers for them. (Leo, your helmet is STILL CRACKED.)

Maya is all "so the Zords want us to follow them" and the Rangers take off after them. Everyone takes off their helmets, and then we get to my big problem with this episode - we find out that they're on Miranoi. Maya narrates the beginning of the season again and rehashes the legend, etc.

Maya is all "quest is complete, putting the sword back in the stone now" and the rest of the Rangers follow. This SOMEHOW manages to return everyone on Miranoi to normal. Not really sure HOW. Not only that but somehow Kendrix comes back. Was she not dead in the first place? Was she trapped in the sword? Are we going to get an explanation? The important part is that Maya immediately runs over to her girlfriend and hugs her. How are they going to explain this to anyone?

And then there are fireworks somehow, courtesy of the fug zords. Sure.

So Maya, who has been portrayed as the jungle girl the whole season, and her native planet, has now been invaded by Earth. There are some REALLY unfortunate implications here.

Look. Here's the thing. The planet already had a civilization living on it. Terra Venture and the people from Earth? Invaders/colonialists/whatever you want to call it. They do not have a right to anything on the planet. And yes, they're stranded. But there's no mention at ALL of how the civilization is going to work out. And how did they fail to notice that half the planet is stone?

I just. Imperialism. Maya's people are probably screwed. But we're supposed to be all excited! They could have found a sister planet to Miranoi that was devoid of life and then returned to Miranoi at the end, and not ended up with Earth colonizing somewhere that ALREADY HAD A CIVILIZATION.

The whole thing just really leave a bad taste in my mouth and spoils what was otherwise an awesome finale. NOT COOL, SHOW.

Fish: 4. If it hadn't caused a rage blackout at the end it would have gotten a 2.

Episode 333 - Hexuba's Graveyard

Good morning, recapees! I am not entirely awake during this recap (I may have spent the previous one repeatedly saying Scorpina instead of Trakeena, but then again, Scorpina is my favorite.) ANYWAY. I am back from Morphicon, and at some point I will actually get my act together and post a con report here. (And maybe we'll do a DVD review at some point, since I purchased the shiny box set. Along with the VR Troopers box set. And a lot of toys. Morphicon was really expensive, okay?)

Speaking of things being posted, there won't be any recaps next week, because it's DragonCon weekend! There's a Power Rangers panel this year, so if you're going to DragonCon, hopefully I'll see you Saturday at 7!

So, we open up on Mutiny going to see Hexuba, who is in a graveyard somewhere, planning a spell to cast on the Rangers. I wonder if she's hung out with Rita before? Is this where Rita got the spell to turn Tommy evil? Did they go to evil Hogwarts?

Hexuba tells Mutiny she has a plan (that somehow involves gopher's guts, IDEK) that releases a bunch of old villains and send s them to Terra Venture. They immediately come upon jogging!Leo, who is very pretty and has really nice arms. Leo is like "wtf, I beat you already" and the monster attacks him.

Leo fights the monster (unmorphed) when the other Rangers show up. Kai helps Leo up, and everyone is like "wait, didn't we beat him already?" and then Leo breaks the fourth wall about it being his last appearance. Leo is also able to beat the monster on his own.

Leo explains that the monster appeared right after a colored streak of light went by, and Karone is like "you mean like that one?" So they follow the light and see ANOTHER monster that they've already defeated. Oh god, this episode is going to be all fighting, all the time, isn't it? DOOOM.

Mike lets them know there's another attack, so the Rangers summon some more weapons and blow up the monster. (We're trying to figure out if they've used those particular toys before. We don't think so, but then again, our recaps tend to include the phrase "and then they pull out some new toys and fight with them.") They go and fight the monster in the city dome, and then Mike shows up and is like "two more monsters."

Kai points out that they can't do this forever, and he has a plan. Leo is like "too dangerous!" but Kai is all "going to the source to stop them, k, bye!" There's some more fighting.

Kai makes his way to the space castle surrounded by space lightning, while back on Terra Venture the ghost of Treacheron threatens Mike, who chases after him. The Rangers are starting to get tired, and they have to split up to fight all the monsters. (And I'm sorry, Mutiny's mooks are so horrible looking. The putties are so much better.)

Kai sees Hexuba cast another spell, and he starts fighting her. We switch back to the Mike vs Treacheron fight, which ends really quickly. I guess Hexuba couldn't bring them back at full power. Leo and Mike fight another monster, while Damon and Karone take on another.

Have I mentioned how little I care about fighting unless there's some character development in it?

Kai tries to stop Hexuba from releasing another monster, but she binds him in magical rope. He manages to escape her and then destroys her crystal ball, which causes her magic castle to blow up.

Back on Terra Venture, the Rangers keep destroying monsters, and they're all exhausted. Just as they're losing, Kai shows up to save the day, because he is great! He blows up the monster, and then Hexuba shows up. Kai chases after her, and everyone else is like "wtf is going on?" But they follow him anyway!

Hexuba uses the combines powers of all the monsters, but the Rangers use the fish of Orion. That has no effect. So Leo summons his fugly battlizer. And I guess transformation is a free action, because while he's powering up, Hexuba just stands there. He shoots her, and then she grows, so they summon the zords.

The Zords don't seem to be doing very well, so they summon even MORE toys. And look, if you want to have this battle mean something, you need to introduce this villain WAY EARLIER IN THE SEASON.

They finally blow her up or whatever.

Back on the ship, the Commander goes to find Mike and Kai and takes them to see the woman in charge of the station. It turns out that the fuel reserves have been tainted, and the systems will start to shut down in 2 more days.

WORST CREW EVER. HOW DID THEY NOT FIGURE THIS OUT BEFORE NOW?

Dramatic reveals, you are DOING IT WRONG.

Fish: 4. Too much fighting, not enough characterization, and massively failing on dramatic reveals.

Episode 321 - A Red Romance

Today on Power Rangers, Leo forgets about Kai for a little while because he saves a girl. A pretty girl is riding her bike, crashes, and flies through the air. Leo catches her before she hits the ground. Her brother freaks out and attacks him, but she's able to explain. Meanwhile, Trakeena is employing a female monster thing. She looks like a purple body builder with blonde hair. But she's powerful, so that's cool. Back on Terra Venture, Bike Accident Girl's brother fixes her bike. Leo is there, for some reason, and admires the guy's dirt bike. Why the guy has a big garage on a small space station with limited space, I have no idea. But he lets Leo ride it and there are stupid tricks and it's corny, so that's okay. Bike Accident Girl likes Leo. Leo backs into a barrel because he's smitten too. Bike Accident Girl's Brother is less than impressed. Bike Accident Girl (who's name is Ginger apparently) sets up a date anyway and Leo tries to show off, then trips on a tennis ball. He's adorably bad at this whole "impress girls" thing. He should just stick with Kai. She has a good time. He has a good time. And the date ends without a goodbye kiss. Oh Leo. REALLY BAD AT THIS. Of course, there is a monster attack and Bike Accident Girl gets captured. And Leo has to save the day. Because she's incapable of running away or saving herself, of course. Leo has to go tell The Brother and it does not go well. Overprotective Brother is very overprotective. (but I totally get behind him loving and caring for his sister... good brother in that regard anyway) And then Overprotective Brother (who is Colby, but I like Overprotective Brother better) blames Leo for everything, even though it wasn't Leo's fault. Leo tries to hug him, which is adorable, and Overprotective Brother will be having none of that. It's very sad and full of man pain. And I kind of want to smack them both. Because, y'know, she really ought to be capable of taking care of herself. Stop holding her back, guys, and let her be her own person! (and they're both kind of having issue with this) Overprotective Brother confronts the monster so he can rescue his sister. That doesn't go well either. Leo mopes for awhile and is all Emo. Alpha tells him about the monster attacking Overprotective Brother and instead of letting Alpha call the others, Leo RUSHES IN TO FIGHT ON HIS OWN. Because he's a freaking IDIOT. But then he jumps, unmorphed, in front of a blast meant for Overprotective Brother and I don't care anymore because that is my THING. And now I ship them. Let them be assholes to each other. And then there are rangers righting and it's boring. And apparently badass female monster is only badass because of her necklace and not because she's actually powerful all in her own right. *sigh* Stupid show. They fail at the whole secret identity thing (seriously? "Leo called us!"? Really guys?) and Overprotective Brother demands his sister and refuses to let the rangers fight and it's just... bad. They fight anyway. There are lots of dirt bike fighting and racing and it makes no sense. They release the prisoners, Leo rushes to Ginger at the same time as Colby and then has to stop himself. Meanwhile, the monster grows and they have to call out all the toys (they totally win, duh). Everybody else runs away. Colby and Ginger just kind of stand there. Because they are clearly the smartest, right? Big huge monster right in front of you and you STAND STILL? Seriously Leo, go back to Kai. You'll be happier. Battle over, Ginger thanks Leo for trying to save her. Colby won't talk to Leo. He's pouting. Ginger talks him into going to apologize, so he rides his dirt bike to catch up to Leo who left all of 30 seconds ago. Why he didn't just run out the door I have no idea. Whatever. He apologizes. They have about ten times more chemistry than Leo/Any Girl. I still think he needs to go back to Kai. 4 fish. I alternated between bored and angry with this episode. That is not a good combination.

Episode 316 - Memories of Mirinoi

Long time no recap! We've been busy. April is a hellish month. So we open with a kitty in a tree, and a girl looking very sad because of it. But don't worry, because Maya is coming to the rescue, and there's some really obvious wirework to make it look like she's super climber or something. Then Maya sees someone named Shondra, who is apparently also from Mirinoi. This should be an obvious sign that this is a trap, since a) everyone on Mirinoi is turned to stone, b) they had to go through a portal thing to leave Mirinoi, and c) how the hell has she been hiding on the ship for this long? But Maya is too excited to think of any of these things. We see a flashback of them frolicking, so I'm just going to assume that this is Maya's girlfriend. Maya finally asks her how she escaped, and Shondra claims she fell through a portal, which still doesn't explain how she's been hiding for so long. Maya takes Shondra to meet Kendrix, and Kendrix is all excited to meet Maya's other best friend. Kendrix and Kai are all excited to cook for Maya and Shondra, and we get more flashbacks to them being babies and trying to pull the swords. Now, I normally love the lost best friends are secretly evil trope (as does QR) but they're all REALLY STUPID this episode. But Kai is wearing a chef's hat, and that's pretty amazing, so I'm going to quit griping about it. Maya and Shondra never show up to the special dinner planned for them, and Kendrix looks like she's going to cry, mostly because she forgets that Maya is poly and she's afraid that Maya doesn't need her anymore. She has such a sad, I think this episode will get the emo ranger tag. During the night, Shondra sneaks out to go after the galaxy book that Kendrix had been working on earlier. Trakeena shows up to check on Shondra's progress. Some guard is patrolling and gets knocked out. We discover what was pretty obvious, that Shondra is actually a monster working for Trakeena. Why she turned back into her monster form to use a keycard to get the galaxy book, I.... have no idea. Anyway, a security guard shows up and shoots the monster in the leg, and Shondra leaves, and limps away. Shondra sneaks back in, and we see that Kendrix has been awake. The next morning Kendrix hears the story, and tells Maya she thinks that Shondra might be evil. Maya doesn't take it very well and yells at Kendrix that she thinks Kendrix is just jealous. Until Maya sees Shondra with a huge bag right after the galaxy book has been stolen. Shondra starts using an eeeeeeeeeeeevil voice, and the two girls fight, and then Shondra turns into the monster form. Maya morphs and there's a fight scene. The rest of the rangers show up and Maya apologizes to Kendrix, although she does point out it isn't Shondra, although she apparently knew enough stories to fool Maya! The monster grows and we get a zord fight, and I'm actually busy discussing this week's PRS instead of paying attention as the toys hit other toys. Anyway, they use the megazord saber and the monster blows up. Kendrix finds Maya up a tree, and she is really sad. Clearly, she needs a kitten. Kendrix and Maya apologize to each other some more, and Maya goes on about how she just wanted to believe. She still has a sad. Then the two of them go off together to make up. Fish: Four. They all fail logic FOREVER. Question things, people!

Episode 305 - Orion Rising

So, Leo is wrapping presents, and Kendrix is making a cake, because it's Damon's birthday! Awww! They are throwing him a surprise party.

Leo tries to eat the cake, but Kendrix smacks him. They leave, only for Maya to return. She's really hungry, but she soon finds the delicious cake. Which she eats. Because CAKE. (Also, I really love that she's not having body issues at all with this - she's hungry, she eats cake. Compare that to some of the other episodes.)

Kendrix comes back and sees that Maya has eaten allllllllll the cake. Maya is so confused when Kendrix asks her about eating it "why do I need permission to eat?" Kendrix is all "ASK FIRST." There's a giant culture clash and to be fair, neither of them is really in the wrong.

(And Leo and Kai get covered in cake. I guess we're bringing that back.)

So, the monster is placing a forcefield over an already domed city? Sure? But Kendrix and Maya were out grocery shopping (and bickering over the fridge) when they come across it. I also love that they instantly forget their problems when they realize this is a monster thing. (That was a really lackluster morph, you guys. You have no enthusiasm there.)

The two girls are all super awesome and attack and basically, I love them. I am all in favor of this. Of course, then the boys show up on new toys, which apparently the girls don't get? Pfft. Whatever. Of course, the guys can't get into the forcefield, so they have to go and dig under it.

Apparently the monster is draining all the air? Kendrix is all "to save the colony we need to go fix this" but Maya wants to attack the monster first. Kendrix forces them to retreat, but Maya is NOT PLEASED and she runs off to go fight the monster.

I would buy this no air thing a lot more, if a) we didn't see trees moving and b) Kendrix and Maya seem fine.

The boys find that they can't get through because the forcefield extends underground. While that's going on, Kendrix runs into tiny lookalike children who tell her it will be okay because they have each other. And Maya discovers the concept of birthday cakes. Just as she's attacked, Kendrix comes to her rescue. The two girls make up (and later, make out) and they are super adorable. Maya promises when this is over she will help Kendrix make a new cake.

Magna Defender and his swirling cape of awesome show up to break open the force field even though Leo tells him this is a bad idea and it will rip them apart? I... sure. Look, I'm going to vaguely question it, but I don't have anything other than a "that sounds stupid." Of course, it means that they can also summon Zords and fight the Magna Defender, which I am in favor of.

Maya and Kendrix fight the monster on their own. Suddenly, the Magna Defender falls apart and starts clutching his chest and running away. Everyone is confused. Kendrix and Maya figure out that together they are awesome and they team up (again) to destroy the forcefield which instantly returns the air to the city.

The other Rangers show up just in time for them to shoot at the monster. Suddenly, the Fish of Orion show up. The Magna Defender tries to claim them, and also EVERYONE chases after the lights. But they've left Terra Venture (and the fact that they were there at ALL makes no sense.) Then the monster just... leaves. Sure.

At the end, Damon gets his surprise party. Damon is sleepy and exhausted, but he loves his friends, and is super happy that they remembered his birthday. Everyone loves everyone else, and then there's an orgy.

I love that a) this episode was not about either Damon being sad that everyone forgot his birthday or people criticizing Maya for what she eats and b) that nobody was really in the wrong for the fight.

Fish: 4. NO NO. SO YOU PUT A FORCEFIELD AROUND A CITY THAT'S ALREADY IN A DOME? WHAT? Also, the air? Really? THERE ARE PLANTS THERE, HOW WERE THEY DRAINING EVERYTHING? None of this makes any sense.

Covered in food: Cake!

Fic we want: Kendrix/Maya. SO MUCH.

Episode 304- Silent Sleep

Today on Power Rangers, there are horses! And then more dramatic cape swishing. I approve!

So Maya likes to tend to the horses. I like her. I like horses. She needs help and Damon volunteers Leo, but then Leo backs out so Damon runs away too. Maya is clearly brilliant because she accuses them of being afraid and then they help. Or Leo helps. He's a "cowboy". Although I take offense to that. Not everybody who rides a horse is a cowboy. There are entire disciplines that are older than cowboys and western. Ahem.

Anyway! So Leo is Very Bad at this and falls off. Keep your heels down, son, and grip with your calves, you'll stay on. Unfortunately, in the fall, Mike's dogtags fall off and Leo has a minor heart attack. Damon would have teased him, except he's totally scared of Maya. I love that everybody is afraid of Maya. Because she is awesome.

Later that night, the Chillyfish (who looks more like a mushroom with fringe) shows up on top of a building. He puts everybody to sleep by freezing them... except the animals (but but but... science and all). And the Rangers of course. They somehow managed to stay un-frozen. There is a boring fight and the Chillyfish runs away. Not before blasting Kai, Maya, Damon, and Kendrix... who remain sort of awake but very cold. Leo does what he can with blankets and stuff, but seriously? The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened.

Except on screen all we get is frozen electronic equipment. Nothing has power, for some reason, not even the motorcycles. It makes no sense but does leave for a defenseless spaceship. Trakeena is going to take advantage of this and flirts with a baddie general so she can get off her daddy's bug ship and go after the Fish of Orion. She is clearly the best.

Back on Terra Venture, it is morning! Because somehow there is SUN on a SPACESHIP even without POWER. Did this season just forget they're on a spaceship or something? Leo finds monsters and there is a fight and then general guy sends Trakeena back to the ship. She is clearly not happy about this and he'll pay for that later. Leo does some more fighty stuff and it's super boring.

But then! Then it's sunshine and rainbows and kittnes! Because it's all dramatic, guys! Because Leo realizes somebody else is unfrozen. It's the Super Dramatic Magna Defender! He is fiddling with the Fish, with his super swishy cape, and Leo begs for his help to unfreeze the colony. Super Dramatic MD doesn't give a two shakes about the colony and they are going to fight about it, because Leo has Upstanding Moral Fiber and MD has Super Depressing Angst. Super Dramatic MD's cape is super swishy all the time for what appears to be no reason in this episode. IT IS DELIGHTFUL. Now, we just need that water fountain...

Super Dramatic MD is willing to kill Leo to keep him from getting the lights, but he accidentally shoots the Fish instead and then flies off after them in a swishy dramatic fashion, with dramatic smoke and music. Because he's Super Dramatic.

Leo, after communing with a Tiny Bunny, realizes the animals are unaffected (BUT HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO, SO WTF?) and goes to the horse paddock. He talks very calmly to the dapper bay that threw him earlier, manages to come to an understanding, and gets a bridle on him. He eve does it properly! Good job, Leo. The horse isn't too happy to have Leo on his back, but he must realize the importance of the situation because he quickly adjusts and takes Leo off to wherever he needs to go... jumping the fence in the process, and Leo has really bad jumping posture. He rides to Chillyfish and there is SWORDFIGHTING ON HORSEBACK. SWORDFIGHTING. ON HORSEBACK. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART! This is my favourite thing ever.

Then there is boring not-on-horseback fighting and I don't care so much about it, except Leo totally hurts him, but then Super Dramatic MD with his Dramatically Swishy Cape saves the day by stabbing the hell out of Chillyfish amid Dramatic Music and Smoke. Chillyfish dies and then grows and then we get the Torozord and I REFUSE TO ASK WHERE THE HECK THIS THING CAME FROM BECAUSE ALLLLLLL THE FISH. Super Dramatic Magna Defender wins and then everybody just magically wakes up, body temperatures restored to normal, with no ill effects. Oh show.

Leo confronts Super Dramatic MD. His cape is so delightfully swishy. Dramatic Capes make everything better. They have a heart-to-heart and Leo believes in him even if he doesn't believe in himself and he walks away all slow motion and dramatic and OH I LOVE THIS GUY.

4 fish. It just... yeah. Even dramatic capes and swordfighting on horseback couldn't really save this one.

Fic we want: "The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened." - We demand that fic, like, yesterday.

Episode 297 - Rookie in Red

So, I ship Leo/Kai a lot, have I mentioned that? Because while I stand by my "this series is pretty much an OT5 where Maya teaches them about polyamory" comments, I really ship Leo/Kai. They have an amazing dynamic.

So I am very pleased about recapping this episode, in case you couldn't tell.

So Leo is narrating the events of earlier episodes (um, this is only episode four. Really? Flashbacks ALREADY?) and i would like this sequence a lot better if he was unmorphed. But Leo has a ton of angst about his dead brother, which I approve of, and then he tosses his saber. I just. This is the sort of angst I love. Andros = not my type. Leo = TOTALLY IS.

So Furio shows up and attacks Leo and is all taunting him, and Leo AGAIN drops his sword. He is really bad at this. Of course, they then get interrupted when there's some random noise in the background, and Leo has more angst about not letting Mike down.

Trakeena is being her badass self and mocking Furio for being a failure, when her father demands to know what's up with him. She covers for Furio who goes off to have another plan, and says he knows her. Furio meets up with some other monster guy who has something called the transdaggers, that are apparently powerful.

Back on Terra Venture, the Commander introduces Leo as a new recruit, and um, how are they explaining Leo being there? How are we explaining Mike being dead? But anyway, Leo apparently scored really highly on the test, but he is an adorable failbot while Kai is all "rules and regulations" and "this is how you do it by the book" and basically being super adorable while Leo is constantly getting Kai in trouble by eating in command and then forgetting to lock the doors and basically being a failbot.

Kai is all flipping out about how Leo has no disciplined, but Kendrix is like "dude, you like him, and also you're jealous of how awesome he is" but Kai denies it.

It starts to pour and it turns out that Leo had just decided that it would be fun to make it rain. They find out about the security breach because of Leo being a failbot, and Kai is totally pissed, because all the weapons have been stolen. Kai is correct in that this is all Leo's fault, although Kai, if you are training him, you should also check up on him. (I am firmly on Team Kai in this fight, although I feel they should solve their issues by making out.)

Leo runs out to try and solve the problem himself, while Kai gets the others for backup. Kai is all "no no, I will handle it" and the Rangers all pose dramatically before running in to fight. The five of them pull their sabers and the monster manages to steal four of them. Only Leo has his, and since the monster can't pull the saber out of his hands, it just takes Leo as well.

In the quarters that the five of them apparently share, Kai is being the EMOEST EMO and I love him so much. Seriously, it is so over the top and AMAZING. He heads off to try and find Leo and the others follow him.

Somewhere on the ship, Furio is trying to destroy the sabers now while Leo is all tied up. I approve of THAT. The saber apparently lets Leo go somehow because some fish guided it perfectly and Leo escapes with all the sabers. He runs into the monster and manages to lose the sabers AGAIN (seriously, how is he so bad at this?) and Furio dumps them into the lava, apparently destroying them, along with the transdaggers.

Except. Apparently Leo switched the sabers with some fakes. Also, they apparently knew all about the transdaggers and that was a plot to find out about those too? But anyway, now they have the sabers and the daggers and the daggers can turn into other cool weapons or whatever.

They show off the new weapons and the sabers some more and then combine the daggers into a formation to make them shoot stars at the monster. The monster grows and the fugly lion is summoned (and I'm still not really sure how it's hidden on a space ship, and we'll probably point that out at least a few more times) and then the lion destroys it.

Leo finds out that Kai said nice things about him in his review, but Leo quits because a) he thinks Kai is the best and b) because he's bad at keeping a schedule. So many points to Leo for knowing what his strengths are and bowing out before he gets in way too far, although now I'm not really sure what he's contributing to the colony, and seriously, how are they explaining him being there?

Kai apologizes to Leo for being too hard on him, and Leo apologizes for being too hard to train, and the Kai mocks him for being impossible. Leo smirks and is all "bet you I'll never be late for duty again" which Kai eagerly accepts, before finding out that Leo just resigned.

Then they make out.

Fish: Four. We... may have to revise the fish scale, because I remember this season being COMPLETELY INSANE.

Fic we want: Leo/Kai. Just assume that I am requesting that in every recap, okay? Also, if someone wants to write something explaining how they explained Leo being on the ship, or how the fugly zord is buried in the ship, go right ahead.

Episode 296- Race to the Rescue

Today on Power Rangers, we start the episode off with CHAINS! YES! I like chains. This could be good. There are also red glowing eyes and henchmen running around doing their thing, but I'm all about the chains.

On Terra Venture, Leo is spraying the plants with something. Maya wanders around entering information on a Pre-iPad. She's suddenly telepathic. She knows somebody is in trouble. Dunno who and dunno what or why or anything. Just... how is she suddenly telepathic? Whatever, I'm going to go with it, because I know nothing about this season.

Leo and Maya convince Damon they need to go rescue whatever is in trouble. They have to use the Megaship, which Young Hot Not!Miles O'Brien insists isn't ready. Except it totally is because Damon can make anything work with bubble gum, duct tape, and a flashy blinky light. Kai is concerned about procedures and doesn't want to let them go. Leo ignores him. So it's going to be THAT kind of relationship. I'm okay with that. Maya points out the obvious and is vaguely telepathic again. She clearly needs to have dessert with Deanna.

They find the things in trouble and Maya rushes in to help. She just orders the boys around and I adore it. Damon wants more of a plan, because clearly he is the smart one this season, but they rush in anyway. The chains are as big as Leo's head. I LOVE THIS. Maya does jungle girl stuff and distracts the bad guys. The big monster thing is a big red Elvis lobster. No, really. I... don't even know what to say about that other than it's awful. His sword kind of looks like a big penis? That's kind of neat?

Suddenly Kai and Kendrix are there! Somehow! That is not explained! There is fighting. They are somehow going to cut the chains. Y'know, the ones AS BIG AS LEO'S HEAD. That magically cut super easily, as if made of butter and Maya's sword is a hot knife. Door swing open and out come five creatures. They are colour coded for the rangers. Gee, I wonder what they could be? Could they be the super ugly zords? Surely not! Or, y'know, this show really is THAT predictable.

Damon, once again proving to be the smart one, wonders if they'll be eaten. Maya is all telepathically carrying on a conversation and says they won't eat the Rangers (except they totally would) and they are grateful for being rescued.

Meanwhile, the big bad is a bed ridden tick looking bug thing. It's gross and weird and tentacle-y. It orders a general to go destroy the rangers. As if it would be that easy. It approaches Terra Ventura which calls an "alien ship warning". Makes sense. This leads the Starship Troopers to come out of hiding and start firing weapons willy nilly. Since the rangers aren't back yet and all. Because Kai and Leo are fighting over who gets to control the ship. Damon just shoves them out of the way, because he is the best and should always drive.

They make it back to the station and attack weird Lobster Elvis. It is boring. Leo takes him on one-on-one. It is still boring. Then he grows and they don't know what to do because they don't have zords, except they totally do! Duh! They just rescued five colour coded beasts. Clearly their brains took a holiday during this fight. Because they are AMAZED to see the fish let the five creatures into the space station and now they are defending them. Really guys?

These are some seriously ugly zords. The only one I kind of like is the red lion. But the pink thing? Looks like a traumatized kitten left in a gutter and covered in mange. The green thing looks like his scales are falling off. The blue ape thing? Just looks... weird. The yellow... I don't even know what it's supposed to BE. The red lion tells Leo to jump on so they can fight together. They win. Are we surprised? No, of course not.

Weird Big Bad Bug Guy has a human/bug hybrid daughter. She is... I have no clue.

Leo can't find the queen in a deck of cards in which he and Damon are playing, and now he has to do the dishes because Damon is brilliant. Maya misses her home planet and Kendrix comforts her. It is adorable and clearly needs to happen more often. Leo then pulls the queen out of Damon's ear and makes him do the dishes. Poor Damon. Leo challenges Kai. Kai is going to wipe the floor with him. Or something.

4 fish.

Episode 295 - Quasar Quest - Part 2

Okay, since I traditionally do the theme song and fashion discussions, I guess I should start with those.

1-The theme song is freaking great. It is such an earworm, and I'm actually looking forward to having it stuck in my head for the next few months. And I really like that it's so different from the PRiS theme.

2-AHAHAHA WHERE DO I START. So yeah. Charlie Brown. So much Charlie Brown. Those things are hideous and there's way too much white and they don't entirely feel like Power Rangers costumes.

3-The "civilian" costumes, or the Terra Venture uniforms or whatever. They're also hideous. They're like Star Trek: The Original Series, and NOT IN A GOOD WAY. And this is coming from someone who loves TOS. They just look super cheap and ridiculous.

4-Speaking of Terra venture related things, the design of the ship makes no sense. We're going to have to change the tag from "Angel Grove geography makes no sense" to "Power Rangers geography makes no sense."

And now that we have all that out of the way we can talk about the episode.

So! Previously on Power Rangers without Zordon Star Ship Troopers Lost Galaxy, somehow a bunch of not-teens can all breathe the atmosphere (possibly because they're on the blue area of the moon.) It's been 22 minutes, and we haven't seen Power Rangers yet at all

Kai abandons his potential boyfriend to head back to the ship, and Kendrix interrogates Mike about not telling her that he had a sibling. Mike is all "I just want to make sure he's okay!" If that's true, Mike, then why do you want to leave him behind on Earth.

Speaking of leaving people behind, apparently nobody noticed that they left people behind on the moon, and Kai is sulking about it. Luckily, he finds a poster for the AstroMegaship museum (and I want all the fic about how that came into being) and he has a plan.

DECA and Alpha are narrating about the history of the Power Rangers, and then Kai kicks everyone out of the museum and somehow convinces Alpha that the ship is being recommissioned. Damon the awesome mechanic is like "you want to fly this thing out of here? WHAT." He totally calls Kai on his bullshit, and since Kai is a bad liar, he instead tells them the truth and is all determined to save his friends. Kai tries to convince Damon to fly the Megaship out, and Damon ignores them. Kai totally fails at flying this thing, but luckily Damon (aka Miles O'Brien) shows up to help anyway and he knows what he's doing, because Damon is THE BEST. Seriously, I love him. Anyway, they fly through the portal.

I am also super jealous of the tiny children who have Megaship toys. Speaking of museum related things - yeah, timeskip issue. I know that this was originally intended to be a few years after PRiS, but since that didn't really work... yeah. No idea how this timeline makes sense at ALL.

On Mirinoi, Mike is still pissed that Leo followed him, and the villain is all threatening the citizens of Mirinoi. Maya and her new boyfriends/girlfriend show up, and the six of them fight the foot soldiers. Why they're all fighting hand to hand when they have guns we're not sure, but.. power Rangers.

Anyway, Mike gets knocked back and he grabs a sword from the stone, and then everyone except for Leo also grabs a sword. Super dramatic posing time! Maya is all excited that they've been chosen, and Leo is all "wait, what?"

Villain guy then gets pissed and turns the planet to stone, and with it all the people. Seriously, they're trying to outrun the stone.. Villain guy then creates an earthquake and the ground cracks and Mike falls down the hole. Leo is all "give me your hand!" but instead Mike hands him the saber. Mike tells Leo that he's proud of him and that he can do it and then he FUCKING LETS GO. What is this bullshit. And once he lets go, the ground freaking swallows him. Everyone yells Mike's name, even Damon, and as far as we know Damon has never met Mike before!

Furio mocks Leo's pain, and that somehow unlocks the knowledge of how they should all be Power Rangers, so it's morphin time! Or Go Galactic, or whatever.

I will just say that I love how Kendrix is totally still wearing her glasses under her helmet.

The villain is all "silly costumes won't help" and that's right, they are silly. As is the wacky stylized running or whatever. Although I do love that they all have swords and we get a ton of sword fighting. That was totally lacking in the last few seasons. And the sword totally makes things explode, and I'm in favor of that.

The Galaxy Rangers have to run away from the stone that is eating the planet, so they just ignore the stingwingers and run. Our heroes, everyone. Once back on the Megaship, Alpha is like "POWER RANGERS, WHAT?" and he is so excited to have more Rangers. Aww, Alpha! It IS too good to be true! <3

The Rangers head back to Terra Venture as Maya's planet completely turns to stone. They just manage to make it through the portal and you know somewhere Andros is screaming "WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY SHIP?"

Maya fills the other Rangers in on the history that we heard last episode, and everyone is excited, except for Leo, who will have a sad for a while. Somehow, nobody on Terra Venture seems to acknowledge that the Megaship is there, or that Mike is gone, or that Leo and Maya are aboard now. Terra Venture heads out and they go start their quest to find a new world. And somewhere else, Furio is being yelled at by Scorpius, so expect me to make a million Farscape jokes, okay?

Fish: 4! It's a pretty compelling start to the season, but there are too many questions!

Questions: How did Kai and Damon find a new portal? How come Mike freaking LET GO. Why did Mike keep changing his opinions on Leo? How are they so not dealing with Mike vanishing and Leo/Maya joining the ship?

Episode 294- Quasar Quest Part 1

Hey guys! It's a Power Rangers I am NOT familiar with! Finally! Try not to spoil me too much, okay? And forgive my mistakes or genuine surprise. I've only seen two or three episodes of Lost Galaxy and I only have fuzzy, vague memories of snippets.

So we start off with what looks like a promising start! It's all science-fiction like! With spaceships and space stations and space colonies and this is a thing of wonderment! This is like all my dreams come true! Space! SPPPAAAACCCEEEEEEE.

And then an old dude standing in front of Excalibur on crack... 5 swords in a rock (quasar sabers, apparently). Nobody can lift them out. Because they are not the chosen ones meant to bring peace and prosperity to pre-medieval Great Britain the universe, duh. Except one of the girls in the audience totally is because we keep getting flashes of her reaction to the people failing at getting the swords. They basically beat you over the head with it.

Bad Dude comes and messes crap up. People run, there is smoke and fire, things are scary. And then he fails at pulling out the sword. Dude, you are not Arthur. Deal with it and move on. You'll be much happier if you do. But I suspect he won't. Seeing as he's clearly a bad guy and all.

Next we're on a space station! SPACE STATION! With a CITY IN SPACE! Sort-of military dudes are looking for new planets (one of them is broody... I sort of remember this part). Science lady is adorable with her hybrid plants. Moody!Military guy is emo about leaving Earth and going far far away. Meanwhile, on Earth, people are scrambling to try to get onto this space station. SPAAAACCCCEEEEE! Bulk and the Professor are there. They have forgotten Skull, however, horrible friends that they are.

We meet Future Red Ranger, clear to the audience by his RED VELVETY SHIRT and good natured yet slightly bad boy behaviour. He helps an old lady, guys, from some "street folk" who want her passport onto the station. Yeah, totally the red ranger. Old Lady is sad Future Red Ranger wasn't picked for the SUPER AWESOME SPACE COLONY. So Future Red Ranger sneaks on board anyway. Because he's THAT kind of guy (and omg I love him already).

Future Red Ranger is in awe of Terra Venture. He doesn't even get past the escalator before he gets caught. So he runs and knocks over Adorable Science Girl, who will clearly be the pink ranger because she's wearing pink. Future Blue is there and all "Don't flirt with her; you're totally mine in future episodes". So Leo (I don't think they've said his name yet, but whatever, we're 15 minutes in) runs off, manages to steal and put on a Starship Troopers uniform, and then gets pulled into a bunch of troops going on a moon drill. Worst. Security. EVER.

He saves Kendrix, Future Pink of Adorableness, from a bomb on the moon. And somehow they can breathe? But there is no atmosphere... I don't get it. Space doesn't work that way. Kai goes batshit on him and then we finally hear Leo's name, because his big brother is there. There is family drama, but then First Future Ranger comes through a wormhole and things are really weird. Then some bug looking things come through the wormhole, attack, and then go back from whence they came.

AND THEN THEY FOLLOW! BECAUSE MAYA'S HOME IS IN DANGER! AND THEY ARE TOTALLY THE CHOSEN ONES WHO WILL BE THE POWER RANGERS! Except Kai who fails at reining in his Red Ranger. He gets left behind. But he's Future Blue so it's okay.

4 fish. Science really really REALLY does not work like that.

Episode 283- A Rift in the Rangers

Today on Power Rangers, I get some frustration out that I was previously unaware I'd been keeping pent up inside. Thanks, Power Rangers. I feel better now.

So we start off on the MegaShip. Today is "address the mundane" day, apparently. Cassie is studiously cleaning ALL THE THINGS. Andros and Ashley are sitting around eating and Andros gets up, and LEAVES HIS PLATE and all his crumbs everywhere. He is seriously a messy eater. Ashley then asks if Cassie has washed her sheets yet. Seriously Ashley? You ask if CASSIE has washed YOUR sheets?? She then leaves HER plate as well. Apparently Cassie is supposed to do it all herself. AND SHE IS ANGRY ABOUT THIS, RIGHTFULLY SO. Ashley points out that things get dirty again and then you just have to clean them again so what's the point, but YES THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK AND NO THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO JUST NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. Cassie shouldn't be responsible for everything.

Carlos and TJ see this argument and stupidly attempt to break it up. TJ points out they agreed to divide the duties, except nobody but Cassie seems to realize that nobody else is doing their fair share. She's mopping and sweeping and cleaning up the table and the dishes and doing all the laundry and WHAT THE HELL ARE THE BOYS DOING? Seriously, a penis does not automatically exempt you from cleaning. And ASHLEY! You are adult. DO YOUR OWN DAMN LAUNDRY.

Meanwhile, Dark Specter lectures Astronema on time and all I can think about is how he doesn't have time to argue about the time. Psycho Yellow has a plan to destroy the rangers. Astronema is willing to listen, but she doesn't want to destroy them just yet. Instead, Yellow teams up with Pink.

Cassie is still cleaning. Andros asks her to check computer functions. Cassie points out that Ashley is supposed to do that, and she was supposed to mop. She mopped. Ashley didn't do her thing. TJ forcibly sits them down to lecture. He makes them talk about it. Cassie complains about doing all the cleaning and then TJ says they're acting like 2 year old tiny children (except even at 2, my kids knew how to help clean up after themselves). Except Cassie has a legitimate complaint! They all make messes, they should all clean it up. But TJ is determined to solve ALL THE PROBLEMS... which I adore about him.

So they have to stop because there is a fight to be had on Earth, of course, and Psycho Pink is kicking butt. Psycho Yellow is just biding time until the rangers are tired. TJ gets hurt, Cassie blames herself, then tries to protect them. Psycho Yellow uses the distraction to capture Ashley. Cassie blames herself again and is terribly distraught. Honey, none of this is your fault!

Meanwhile, Psycho Yellow is attempting to take the rest of Ashley's powers, but she's going to fight to the very end. Psycho Pink stops her, though, because this was not the game plan. They argue and fight and Ashley begins to see how not good the infighting is. She manages to escape.

Cassie is beating herself up over the argument and losing Ashley, but I still say Cassie was in the right. It's not petty to expect other residents of a place to help clean it. It's just not. It shouldn't all fall to Cassie just because she's a girl or actually does it. ALL the others need to chip in, not just Ashley! It's not hard to clean up after yourself, and if everybody cleans their own messes, the whole place will remain clean and not put undue burden on just one individual. Cassie really ought to be yelling at Carlos, Andros, and TJ as well. They are not allergic to cleaning! There is nothing in the Y chromosome that makes it impossible for boys to clean.

The Psychos almost get Ashley back, but Cassie comes to save her. They bond and make up. It's adorable. Then they kick ass and beat Psycho Pink on their own! Because they are awesome. She grows, using lots of Dark Specter's energy (which makes Astronema very happy), and they have to call out all the toys. But they still basically took her down on their own. Zhane has to come in and be a cocky badass to save the day, because apparently that is Zhane's only role in this show. Psycho Pink is destroyed and now the Psycho rangers are down one. Astronema is not happy.

Back on the MegaShip, everybody finishes up a meal. They all get up to leave and EVERYBODY LEAVES THEIR PLATES. AGAIN. Damn people, just take your freaking plate back to the replicator. This isn't even difficult or time consuming. IT'S EASY. Ashley goes to clean up, and then Cassie tells her it's still her job this week and she doesn't need Ashley's help. AND THEN TJ IS A BADASS AND NEEDS TO TEACH EVERYBODY EVER BECAUSE HE TELLS THE GIRLS TO STOP BECAUSE THE BOYS WILL DO THEIR SHARE AND CLEAN THE MESS. Andros and Carlos aren't happy about it, but TJ is all "Be a man and clean some damn dishes, it won't kill you". Oh TJ. You volunteered to clean. I am SWOONING (seriously, that's about all it takes for me).

4 fish, mostly because Cassie had a valid point most everybody else ignored and she really should have been yelling at ALL of them, not just Ashley.

Episode 272 - The Silver Secret

So Astronema is watching the battle, and she's all "Damn, Zhane is fine." She's also timing how long it takes for him to demorph, because she is the SMARTEST EVER. She discovers that Zhane is limited to 2 1/2 minutes, and really, Astronema, you may want to rethink your taste in men.

Why only 2 1/2 minutes? Why is it timed and not just a "you only have this much power" thing. Is 2 1/2 minutes of just standing there the same as 2 1/2 minutes of shooting things?

Back on the ship, Alpha is running a bunch of tests on Zhane. Cassie and Andros overhear Alpha tell Zhane that he doesn't have very much time, so they go tell the others that ZHANE IS DYING. Meanwhile, Alpha continues to explain the 2 1/2 minutes thing to Zhane.

OKAY. YOU DO NOT TELL SOMEONE'S NEWS LIKE THAT EVER. IT IS THEIR DECISION WHEN TO GIVE OUT THOSE DETAILS AND ALSO SCREW YOU. Also, eavesdropping never works well for anyone.

Cassie and Andros start babying Zhane and massaging him and telling him to put his feet up and then a monster shows up but they tell him to stay behind. The monster is all "call your little friend!" and they're all "Why do we need him?"

Zhane watches the fight and sees everyone get stomped on, and he decides that even with his 2 1/2 minutes or whatever, he's going to risk it. He shows up to save them, and Cassie and Andros are all "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Zhane's 2 1/2 minutes starts to run out and the others are all "nope, we got this" so he goes off to demorph somewhere not surrounded by people. Not that there are any people around, or that I even see why he would care about this.

Andros and Cassie again decide that they need to tell the others. Andros has held a meeting where he and Cassie tell them. The others assume also that he's ding, and Zhane overhears them and decides to have some fun with it, because he's a cocky jackass and I love him. The others all start babying him. Zhane asks for pie, and Ashley is all "Here!" and Cassie is all "BUT IT ISN'T GOOD FOR HIM" and then they start fighting and Zhane is trying not to crack up. (I am on Ashley's side in this one.)

Meanwhile, Alpha has figured out that Zhane's battery is just low. Zhane tells Alpha what's going on, and Alpha is all "tell them the truth!" which... he really should. Because making your friends think you are dying is a REALLY JACKASSY THING TO DO.

The others start to run off again, and when they forbid Zhane to go with him Zhane does try and tell them the truth, but Andros is like "later!" and goes off. Zhane is frustrated about not being able to morph, and then he decides if he gets hit by lightning he'll be fine, or end up with super speed or something.

So Zhane climbs a cliff and then yells SHAZAM and gets hit by lightning and somehow this fixes everything and I just. Really? They couldn't have just charged the battery back up or something? Lightning? Really? Or changed the battery in the morpher? This is ridiculous.

Zhane shows up to fight the ugly mantis thing and the other rangers get distracted by the Quantrons. Zhane gets all tied up and the other Rangers all run towards him dramatically and then the countdown ends and there's an explosion. Andros falls to his knees assuming Zhane is dead.

Then Zhane shows back up all morphed and is like "hey guys! Not dead!" Cassie, Zhane and Andros all shoot at the monster which destroys him until Astronema makes him grow. Fight, etc.

Back on the ship the others are mad about Zhane not telling him the truth and they make him clean. UM. ANDROS. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EAVESDROPPED ON A MEDICAL CONVERSATION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THEN TOLD EVERYONE, YOU JACKASS.

Fish: 4. Everything about that lightning was bullshit.

Episode 266- Flashes of Darkonda

So I was going to try to do something really awesome this past weekend while TSB was at DragonCon. I thought about recapping the first episode of Gokaiger or VR Troopers. Then I thought I'd go way back and really hit my nostalgia button and do the first episode of Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog. Instead, I read books two and three of A Song of Ice and Fire and alas, you all suffered the loss. Sorry? Only not really because new obsession.

Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.

TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?

So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*

Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.

Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.

4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).

Episode 263 - Grandma Matchmaker

Oh hey! DragonCon is this weekend! If you happen to be at the con, I'll be on the Power Rangers Samurai panel, Friday at 4!

Right, so this episode. Everyone I've spoken to (hey, Mark!) has gone all "UGH, I AM SO SORRY" but... Ashley and Carlos go on a date. I can't hate this episode.

UM, I HAVE MENTIONED I SHIP ASHLEY/CARLOS, RIGHT?

We open in the park, when a taxi pulls up, and a woman in the most hideous outfit ever gets out. Seriously, green overalls, and a pink hat, and watermelon earings? She's Ashley's grandmother, who apparently takes fashion lessons from Claudia Kishi. She has a file with her that apparently contains info on Ashley's future husband.

Did I mention that the grandmother is a HORRIBLE ACTRESS?

Anyway, I don't actually have a problem with matchmaking plots, because.... seriously, most fanficcy trope ever, y/y? And frankly, Ashley's grandma is TOTALLY a Jewish grandmother. Seriously, I know her. I do find it a little creepy that her grandma is talking about kids while Ashley is in high school. (Okay, maybe not a Jewish grandmother - she's not pushing food on her.)

Ashley decides to get out of it by introducing Carlos as her boyfriend, and grandma immediately starts molesting him. She is so creepy.

LOOK, I DON'T EVEN CARE BECAUSE ASHLEY AND CARLOS ARE GOING TO GO ON A DATE AND MY SHIPPER HEART IS DELIGHTED.

Communicators go off, and Ashley and Carlos try to run off, but grandma follows them to ask about drink options. Meanwhile, the other Rangers are getting their butts kicked by a monster who lays really bad eggs. They destroy the monster, but she's laid her eggs all over the city.

Carlos is all "look, we can't just PRETEND forever" and TJ is all "SURE, GET MARRIED." TJ understands.

Carlos tells Ashley's grandmother the truth, and Grandma clearly sees that they are MFEO, so she decides they should go on a first date. The other Rangers think this is HILARIOUS, but to be fair, if someone tried to force me into those shirts, I would agree. They go to an amusement park with the other Rangers spying on them, and grandma constantly calling to interrupt and give bad advice and insist that they hold hands.

Also, she makes them share a milkshake.

LOOK, I AM JUST SAYING, THIS SHOULD END WITH CARLOS POINTING OUT THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO PRETEND BECAUSE HE REALLY DOES LOVE HER, AND THEN THEY MAKE OUT.

Anyway, the date gets interrupted by the bugs hatching and starting to eat the whole city, including BUILDINGS. Ashley's grandma refuses to leave without Ashley, so Ashley leaves with her while the others Morph to take care of the plague of locusts.

The weapons are eaten by the bugs, and clearly the bugs should be hanging out with Pudgy Pig. The bugs all combine into one monster which starts to beat them, so Alpha calls her to hurry up. Ashley calls out at her grandma for smothering her, and a random cop selects Ashley and her grandmother to escort out of the chaos, ignoring all the other people running around. Ashley shoves her grandmother at the cop and heads off to the battle, but grandma is not having it, so she flips the cop and steals his car.

You go, badass grandma!

Ashley is about to get beaten by the monster, when grandma hits him with a cop car. She tries to do it again but has somehow lost control of the car and... I don't even know. This stopped making sense a long time ago.

Grandma is all apologetic about interfering but Ashley tells her that no, she's great, and wonderful and she has a grandma just like her, and she wouldn't want her any other way. Ashley then defeats the monster, which grows after and we get a fight scene or whatever. The bugs try to eat the zord, so the new toy is summoned to shoot the bugs off them. Whatever. They they punch the bugs. The end.

As everyone carries grandma's stuff to the cab, we discover that grandma is now matchmaking for Adelle.

Fish: 4.

Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER IF THERE SHOULD BE ASHLEY/CARLOS OR SOMETHING.

Episode 250- Chase Into Space Part 2

IT IS THE END OF TURBO! FINALLY WE HAVE REACHED THE BLESSED LAND! Er... what I mean is, uh... series finale ftw?

So the Power Chamber is under attack. TJ and the others rush out to attack the Piranhatrons before they get inside. All they need is an elf and a dwarf and the atmosphere would be complete. There is all the fighting in all the land and, for someone who doesn't actually LIKE the fighting on this show (I know, right? I watch the wrong show), this is a pretty epic battle. Even the cars get in on the fight!

The rangers are forced to retreat back into the Power Chamber. They try to seal out the piranhatrons with a security lock and blast door, but it won't hold them for long. For some reason, though, the piranhatrons retreat. Justin gets a little scared, understandably so, and he and Carlos have a bonding moment while waiting for the battle to resume. OMG YOU GUYS, THERE IS EVEN A BATTERING RAM.

So of course they get through. Straight up the wall with grappling hooks, straight through the door with the ram. This is one epic fight! I might actually enjoy the fighting if they were all like this. The rangers really ought to just teleport out of there, and Alpha even tries, but they refuse to leave. Carlos assures them no piranhatrons will get by him, Ashley, and Justin, except they totally do! Because nobody expected them to come POURING IN THROUGH THE CEILING! BEST FIGHT EVER.

The Power Chamber is in total destruction. It is AMAZING. Elgar even destroys the plasma tube so Demetria and Zordon can't come back. He then uses bombs to blow the place to smithereens... with the rangers inside. Divatox is clearly the most awesome villain ever. She is the only one to get this far in the near destruction of the rangers!

She can't seem to find the rangers in all the rubble, though, and we discover they are actually there, but hiding. Because somehow they made it through the explosion. Meanwhile, a messenger from the Sumerian Planet tells Divatox that Zordon has been captured and she is to report for evil duty. She refuses until she finds out it's for Dark Spectre and then she's all over that. Hierarchy of evil and all that.

Coast clear, the rangers come out of hiding. The suits are ripped, they're injured, they're dirty. The powers leave them and then they have a disagreement. Carlos wants to go to the Sumerian planet. Cassie and Ashley want to stay. TJ wants to go as well. Meanwhile, Alpha is looking for the black box, the box that holds the power decoder. It has secret codes. For what is unclear. Justin has an idea to get them to the Sumerian planet. He rushes to NASADA but they won't let him through the door, so he sneaks in with a car instead.

He needs to see the Commander, so he finds mission control. JUSTIN IS THE SMARTEST. He gets in through the ROOF. AND NOBODY SEES. BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME. He just makes it into the control room when guards catch him and try to haul him out. He yells about having a message from the rangers and the Commander stops them. He needs to hear this. Justin whispers something in his ear and the Commander just HANDS OVER THE SPACE SHUTTLE. Clearly Zordon set this up ahead of time.

Somehow a launch is arranged in the span of like, 5 minutes. They all rush to the shuttle, buckle up, even Alpha, and get ready to head out. Justin refuses to go, though. He wants to stay with his dad and THEY ARE ALL AWESOME FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT HIM AND WILL MISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!! So into space they go, a perfect liftoff. (I do not know what the rest of their families will be told, or if they'll finish high school ever, or what, but I don't care because it was the greatest episode)

To Be Continued Next Season with Power Rangers In Space!

4 fish. It was AMAZING but still kind of fishy.

Episode 249 - Chase Into Space - Part 1

So Justin is getting his dad ready for some important interview or whatever, and his dad is a giant failbot who can't even remember his briefcase. We spend a while trying to remember when the hell his dad came back. You can tell how little we cared.

Meanwhile, Divatox is really excited that apparently the most powerful monster in the universe has showed up. She's seriously squeeing.

The Rangers are watching as some space shuttle lands at NASADA. Awww, back when people cared about the space program! You go Power Rangers, and keep promoting this! Justin's dad shows up, and apparently he got the job. UM. SINCE WHEN DO YOU FIND OUT AT THE INTERVIEW IF YOU GOT THE JOB. And then he's all "So if I take the job, we have to move." Justin is all "But I don't want to move!"

Quick question - HOW DID HE NOT KNOW HE WOULD HAVE TO MOVE FOR THE JOB???? This is not how things work. This would be included WHEN YOU APPLY. And Justin is all "BUT MY FRIENDS" mostly because of the Rangers, although he really just can't say "YEAH, SO POWER RANGER."

Meanwhile, the Rangers are called to the Power Chamber, because Eltar is under attack. Suddenly we find out that Eltar is the source of all their powers. UM. WHAT. Since WHEN??? But seriously, this is pretty epic. Intergalactic attacks! Zordon in peril! Something bigger than a Megazord headed for Earth!

EPIC. I APPROVE SO HARD.

Giant terrifying looking monster shows up to mock them, and they summon the village people Zords. This is actually a super exciting fight, mostly because hey, the Rangers are LOSING. Keep breaking the toys, monster! (Wow, how did Divatox actually find competent help? My world, it is ending!)

TJ is all "Okay, here's the plan. Let's blow up the Zord to take them out." TJ, stop taking lessons from Tommy. Although hey, at least you intend to do it on purpose! So they blow it up and go to their old Zords, but it DIDN'T WORK. And neither does the Turbo Megazord Sabre. Like, this monster is way more powerful than they are. And then it shoots ALL THE POWER BACK AT THEM. I just. Eeeeep.

TJ has another idea - retreat. Which is good, because time for MORE Zords to blow up. TJ gets more toys (lightning cruiser and the giant canon thing, and he shoves the canon down the monster's throat) which actually does manage to blow up the GIANT MONSTER but seriously they now have no Zords at all.

They teleport back to the Power Chamber, and because Elgar and Rygog see them teleporting, this somehow clues them into where the Power Chamber is? I guess... Rita never shared that information? And Divatox is really bad at spying?

Divatox is REALLY excited to blow up more things.

Dimitria lets the Rangers know that Eltar has fallen. HOLY CRAP. The Rangers are totally disturbed but they can't go because they have to stay and protect Earth. Instead, Dimitria and Blue Senturian are going. As they leave, Divatox assembles a GIANT FREAKING ARMY of Pirahnatrons and holy crap, shit is getting real.

Dimitria reminds them one more time that they are the Power Rangers and therefore totally awesome, and then leaves them for Eltar, just as Divatox attacks. The Rangers do the heroic walk out, even though Alpha warns them there are too many of them. And the Rangers rush out to meet the battle, and TO BE CONTINUED.

4 fish - For all the epicness, there are some giant freaking plot holes in this. And also, that was a lot of fighting. (Please continue to blow up the toys.)

Episode 234 - Clash of the Megazords

Seriously, is this arch over yet?

Previously, the only thing worth mentioning is the Monster Tour. And also the Rangers got some new zords, General Havoc serves them tea, Cassie is not a sparklepire, and maybe the Phantom is going to die? Whatever.

Justin is searching for the space base and everyone is concerned about Divatox using the ruby. TJ and Cassie (\o/) go to the spot where the Phantom's tunnels were, and then ask to be teleported into the tunnel. Cassie is SO not dressed for sewer work. They easily find the Phantom and his ship, but he's unconscious.

Porto and his goons are working on the Megazord and Divatox talks more about her plan. We get distracted by talking about how Phantom could be Billy, and the reason he needs the ruby is because it's what's keeping him young. It's a theory, anyway. (And one we would like better if it didn't mean Billy/Cassie.)

TJ comes up with a plan to attract Divatox's space base with a magnet. This plan makes no sense, but TJ is such an awesome red, and we adore him. More of TJ! Also, I enjoy that Ashley is good at tech stuff.

Porto has installed some batteries on the Turbo Megazord for some reason. IDEK. Megazord vs Megazord fights are usually fun, though, so I'm looking forward to that.

The Rangers use their device to lock onto the space base, and Divatox fires at them in return. Also, Elgar gets hit with a frying pan. Divatox sends down a monster, who breaks the magnet with his face. Divatox then launches the Turbo Megazord.

The monster is piloting the Turbo Megazord, and so the Rangers call the Village People Zords. It's Zord vs Zord! (For some reason the monster tells the Rangers that the ruby is in the battery pack.)

Alpha warns them not to destroy the Zord or they risk destroying the Phantom Ranger. There's a pause in the fighting because the batteries need to recharge because apparently they took lessons from Serpenterra or something.

TJ decides to go use lightning cruiser to get the battery, which is a pretty decent plan, although it causes Carlos to point out that TJ is either the bravest guy or the craziest. Or both.

Just as the Turbo Zord was about to destroy the Village People Zord, TJ shows up and fights the monster inside the Turbo Megazord, and then on top of the battery pack. See, if TJ hadn't been all "one person only" then TJ could have fought the mosnter while someone else grabbed the ruby. But TJ manages to win and grab the ruby anyway, and the Turbo Megazord is returned to their control.

TJ is all "great job pretending to be helpless!" and Carlos is "... yeah! That was totally the plan!"

Divatox makes the monster grow, and we get more fight scenes. This is super long, and super high fight content. But wow, that's a lot of artillery that they're using on that monster.

They restore the Phantom Rangers ruby, and he's fine. He only thanks Cassie. What a jerk. He leaves and is all "I go where I'm needed."

Cassie is all "So if we need you again?" and he responds with "I will always remember you." She smiles. THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. Can we please get back to TJ/Cassie now?

Fish: 4. Mostly because it was high fight and SUPER BORING.

Episode 231 - The Darkest Day

So we begin with TJ and Cassie on a date. It looks like Cassie was raiding Kat's wardrobe again. They appear to be wandering straight into a trap (apparently Divatox is going to dump a boulder on them), when some robot guy calls Divatox.

TJ and Cassie manage to avoid the rock slide, because TJ's awesome car is awesome, although they jump into Justin's car instead. Plan is ruined, and we're only 3 minutes into the episode. Although hey, unmorphed fight scene! That is totally the best Ranger way to spend a date.

Turns out that the phone call was from Divatox's brother, General Havoc. He's brought along his space base and Divatox is super excited. (Um, is he Elgar's dad? I mean, Elgar is Divatox's nephew. Do we know?)

Ashley has apparently gotten Justin a ticket to the monster tour where you go all around town and see where Rangers have fought monsters. This is frankly the most amazing idea ever, even if Carlos thinks its ridiculous. (Of course, he totally takes the ticket when Ashley offers it, because he looooooves her. Although seriously, Ashley, don't take Justin along on your dates with Carlos.)

SERIOUSLY, THE MONSTER TOURS ARE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER, AND WE SHOULD HAVE ALL THE FIC ABOUT THEM. Bulk giving tours is pretty much the greatest thing ever and Skull is pretending to be the monster. The people on the tour are totally disappointed (who would WANT to see a monster) but frankly, BEST IDEA EVER. I also support the Angel Grove eventually gets a Rangers theme park idea.

MONSTER TOUR. Oh man, I would so much rather think about that and various teams of Rangers going on these tours and playing drinking games on them then actually paying attention to this episode. You know Angel Grove has to have a nighttime pub monster tour like ghost tours. WHY DOES THIS FIC NOT EXIST???

Anyway, Divatox leaves the lake to go join with the space base or whatever, and it's not nearly as interesting as the monster tour. The scene goes on forever which takes away precious time from the monster tour.

Up at the Power Chamber, Carlos wonders if Divatox has given up, since she's left the lake. Instead, Havoc calls the Rangers to threaten them. It's all really boring. Havoc is drinking tea when the Rangers show up to meet him, he's pretty awesome like that. We get new henchmen, and they're also boring. That's actually the theme of this episode. It's not very fishy, it's just really dull. Havoc has a pretty cool Zord, and while it's threatening the Rangers, we get back to the MONSTER TOUR.

Bulk and Skull tell us about the monster alert system, and they try to claim that they don't scream or run, when they spot the zord thing, and immediately start screaming. I love them so much. (Also, hey, the alert never went off. I guess they need to repair it.)

The Zord fight continues, with Havoc beating the Rangers pretty badly. The new mooks BREAK INTO THE ZORDS, and okay, this is actually pretty great. The Rangers are fighting INSTEAD THE COCKPIT of the zord, and they get kicked out of their Zord, and suddenly this episode got interesting, as Havoc's Zord STEALS THE MEGAZORD. Okay, that came out of nowhere, but seriously, there was some major flailing and all caps. AWESOME.

The Rangers are all super depressed and they have no idea what to do. Justin wonders where they took the Megazord, and Carlos is super pessimistic. And then the Phantom Ranger shows up to let them know there's some hope, but he won't tell them what it is, just that it will be revealed in time. What a JERK.

We get a to be continued - and it will be! Because queenriley is coming to visit me this weekend! We'll have a bunch of recaps for you, and if netflix ever gets its act together, we should also have a really bad action movie starring Johnny Yong Bosch!

Fish: 4. It might have been more, but MONSTER TOURS.

Fic we want: MONSTER TOUR. How is that SO GREAT.

(Also, hey, does anyone have any awesome Turbo/Space icons?)

Episode 227 - Trouble by the Slice

I am so glad I ordered pizza last night, because seriously, now I am totally craving pizza. Luckily, I have leftovers. (Also, when we recap Jungle Fury, there will be all the pizza.)

Anyway, I know this episode has a bad reputation, but this is so ridiculously delightful. Amnesiac!Divatox for the win. Seriously, I would watch an entire series of Divatox and Rita running a pizza place. They can compete with RJ! It would be amazing.

Also, EVIL PIZZA. There is nothing not to like here.

So we begin with Porto having invented some sort of new teleportation device. Divatox thinks this is great, but also gets totally annoyed (as you do) and turns a Pirahnatron into a donkey. This is amazing, and we briefly wonder why she never does this to the Rangers, but then we guess it only works on fish. Divatox decides that the device needs more power, so she turns it to eleven, but apparently she took lessons from the Stormtroopers, and misses, the device ricochets and hits her, and she ends up in the middle of Angel Grove with amnesia. I've mentioned before how much I love amnesia as a plot device. I even love the Full House series finale, okay?

Meanwhile, Carlos is apparently having difficulties with dating Ashley, and he's complaining about it to Justin. Justin is not very sympathetic, because he is clearly not at all interested in girls, and instead is paying attention to a soccer player named Nico. Carlos and Justin are invited to play, and Justin is nervous because he's never played before, and he doesn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of Nico. But he plays anyway.

Amnesiac!Divatox is amazing. Somehow, the citizens of Angel Grove don't run screaming from the sight of her, and instead she wanders into a pizza place, where she eats a slice of pizza, and is stuck having to work it off. (Also, Bulk and Skull are the pizza delivery guys. They are seriously bad at this.) Divatox's transformation into bitchy waitress is hilarious and seriously, a whole show of Divatox and Rita running a pizza place. I want this. She's awful at it, doing a hilarious combination of truck stop waitress and grumpy diner waitress. Also, she keeps eating the pizza. There's a poor other terrified girl working with her.

Carlos and Justin and the rest of their new friends (inappropriately young for Carlos, but since he has Justin around I guess not as creepy) come in and order a pizza, and they get 2 pies and 3 pitchers for $15. WE ARE SO OLD. The pizza I ordered last night was $12 just for one pie! There's a whole scene of wacky we just keep missing each other hijinks. I'm not going to lie, I was amused.

Porto comes in (in drag, and the worst disguise ever) and sees Divatox (because apparently they order pizza a lot, are we sure the Turtles crossover isn't until next season?) and Divatox gets her memory back (after commenting on the ridiculousness of the disguise) and they send a pizza monster to attack the Rangers.

EVIL PIZZAS THAT POSSESS THE CARS. This is glorious. Also, pizza related puns! Anyway, the Rangers get stuck in an oven (... that is covered in kanji) and frankly, we would both totally order power rangers pizza. (Although not if it was made with real power rangers.) The scene is pretty much ruined with the arrival of the Blue Senturian who rescues them, and then the Rangers are pretty much useless for the rest of the episode, although they do get to show off their new toy before zords are summoned.

Divatox uses her teleporter again, and transports Elgar into the lake. Sadly, it doesn't kill him.

Fish: 4. But only because they really should have been crispified in the oven.

Fic we want: ... Do you have to ask?

Episode 222 - Honey I Shrunk the Rangers - Part 2

We are BACK. Sorry about that whole hiatus thing, but I'm done with the semester and I had a pretty amazing time at No Pink Spandex Live seeing DAVID YOST and also some familiar people from this blog, and we are returning to our old schedule. :D

So. After the most ridiculous cliffhanger ever (and I totally remember watching and being VERY ANNOYED about the whole no new episodes until September thing) we open with the Rangers in a box, and realizing that they're being turned into insects, or at least they all have wings.

Adam figures out a plan. Step one - cut a hole in the box. They escape and cut a hole in some pipe and Divatox shrinks some pirahnatrons to chase after them. There's an extended fight scene, and they go down a slide and somehow they end up in Divatox's closet, and they talk a lot about wanting to come out of it.

We fully encourage this.

Anyway, there's some more fight scenes and honestly, be more boring, episode, I DARE you. Oh, and now they have antennae and not just wings. Somehow they come up with the idea of launching some torpedoes to make themselves grow, and there's a long scene of them clinging to the torpedoes. The torpedoes explode and everyone is returned to normal. I'm not sure why it also de-bugified them, but I'll just blame it on the fish.

Then I guess it also made the stupid fly monster grow and there's a fight scene. Oh, and since Bulk and Skull were exposed to the torpedo that somehow returned them to human form, but now they're INVISIBLE.

Eh, at least they aren't monkeys anymore?

Fish: 4. The science made no sense, and also it was wicked boring. Oh, Turbo, it's good to be back.

ALSO: David Yost totally justified our fish scale, since one of the episodes he really remembers is the one where Billy is afraid of fish. Also, he let us know that Billy totally divorces the fish. We are awesome.