Episode 77 - White Light - Part 1

First, a bit of housekeeping. We changed the tag "Green Ranger era" to "Tommy era." Just in case anyone is wondering.

So. Tommy. Yeah. I hate this episode. I loved it when I was ten. But the thing that actually is going to cause the rage blackout happens in part 2, so I'll try not to rant about it that much.

The episode opens with Bulk and Skull (who are decked out as explorers on a safari, IDEK) demand to know where their sandwiches are. Trini snarkily calls them out on their rudeness, as she is awesome.

Kimberly bounces in, all excited because Tommy has sent her a letter (I guess he remembered which Ranger he's actually dating) telling her that he'll be back at the end of the week. I have no idea what happens next, because we held an all caps conversation about this.

second_batgirl: SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS HE?
queenriley: okay, WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO IN THE FIRST PLACE????? Does he not have SCHOOL???
second_batgirl: APPARENTLY NOT
queenriley: I can't imagine school gives sabbatical for "I lost my ranger powers"

So we finally decided that they have to be on summer vacation or something. We already know that Miss Applebee teaches everything, so I guess that works? (Alternately, the administration knows that they're Rangers and does give a sabbatical for "I lost my powers.")

Anyway, at the Command Center it turns out that Zordon and Alpha are going to work on a project, so they shut down the Command Center without telling the Rangers. Do they not remember what happened the last time Zordon shut down? (I guess since Alpha isn't going to go rescue baby!Dillon this time, they didn't feel the need to call them.) Zedd, who is as awesome at surveillance as Rita was, immediately notices something weird, and then gives us a fish filled explanation about how the Morphin Grid is maintained by a balance of Zedd and Zordon. Right. I guess it's also supported by some giant fish. So Zedd decides this would be a great time to a) capture Tommy again and b) send down a monster named Nimrod.

Back on Earth, Zack, Curtis and Jasosn are playing sports and damn, Jason has nice arms. Then Rita's garbage pail crashes on Earth, and Bulk and Skull decide this is the sign that will tell them who the Power Rangers are. Right. I'm not entirely sure why it took 17 episodes for her to land on Earth. Maybe some fish were blocking her path.

At his uncle's lake, we see Tommy getting out of the lake. Wow, for a moment both of us thought he was naked. Those swim trunks were remarkably close to the color of his skin. Anyway, gratuitous shirtless soaking wet Tommy is gratuitous. And then he gets teleported out by someone in a flash of white light. Hmmm.

Zack wanders over to get a football, and he finds the statue covered in slime, so he calls the others. They are all concerned by the slime, but none of them bother to inspect the back of the statue, which has the monster's head on it. The Rangers soon discover that Zordon isn't answering their communicators, so they teleport to the Command Center which is totally shut down. However, Billy manages to access what we're guessing is the footage from the security cameras, so they teleport down to his lab to check it out.

While in the lab everything starts to shake, so they realize that a monster is attacking. It's Nimrod, and it's two helpers AC and DC. I love this show so much. Midway through the battle Billy teleports to the Command Center to go figure out what Zordon and Alpha are up to. He enters the same code he saw Alpha put in, and falls through the door of light. Instead of ending up in the main room where Alpha and Zordon are, he lands in the room above them, which conveniently has a grate for him to look through. Zordon and Alpha fail at noticing his presence, but Billy is able to see that there's another Ranger....

To be continued. Tomorrow.

Fish: 3.5 The fish sure nudged a lot of plot points into place today.

Billy speak: There was a lot of borderline comments, but the only thing of note was "The activity disc is showing the combination of controls that Alpha coordinated."

Covered in: I did mention soaking wet Tommy and the lake, right?

Episode 76- Beauty and the Beast

Otherwise known as Kim Is Uber During Blatant Contract Disputes.

We can sum this episode up in the short bit of conversation:
TSB: I'm watching the Power Rangers episode where Zedd tries to make Kimberly his queen
Friend of TSB: Your show is so cheerfully fucked up :P
And so it is, Friend of TSB. So it is.

We start the episode with Billy looking very buff sitting at the Juice Bar with Kim. She's showing off her brand new blue mirror that Tommy got for her. Billy comments on how quiet it is without Tommy and I'm still wondering where he went. I mean, he still lives in Angel Grove. He still attends Angel Grove High School. He's still in all their classes. He didn't drop off the face of the planet there, guys. He's just not a ranger. If they're missing him, it's their own fault for not hanging out with him.

Anyway. So they lament the lack of Tommy and then Kim, scanning the newspaper, gets the idea to go see Madam Swampy the fortune teller. Yes, they spell it that way, which I know is legitimate, but without the 'e' on the end, all I can think of is the type of Madam that runs a House of Ill Repute. Ahem. Anyway, Billy tries to dissuade Kim by explaining the lack of scientific evidence for such fortune telling, but she is bound and determined. He agrees to go with her, but he wants to stop by his house to pick up his rollerblades first. As soon as they leave, Bulk and Skull see the ad and decide to swing by Madam Swampy and see if she'll tell them who the Power Rangers are. Skull is wearing an awesome civil war style hat. I just had to point that out.

So Billy apparently takes forever to get his rollerblades (TSB is sure it's because they stopped to make out, but I can't really get behind that theory since I don't ship Billy/Kim... I see it, but I don't ship it) because Bulk and Skull beat him and Kim to the fortune teller. She demands $5 but they can't pay. All they have is a fake bug, a marble, and a bit of plastic. She tells them they'll get what they pay for, thrust a "map" at them, and sends them on their way. They believe the map (which is on an orangish-pinkish coloured piece of paper, so not exactly inspiring on the whole legitimacy thing) will lead them to happiness and set off following it, not bothering to look at the other side.

Shortly after they leave, Kim shows up. Billy isn't with her, so she heads in on her own. Before she can even go in the door, Goldar and a bunch of putties show up. Goldar tells her he's going to make her his queen, she resists, and then he pulls out some magic powder (again with this stuff?). It makes her pass out and Goldar totally cops a feel while holding her. They teleport away and her bag and mirror are left on the ground. Zedd takes that opportunity to turn the mirror into a monster, contradicting previous episodes yet again.

Meanwhile, Billy and Zack are rollerblading in the park. Billy gives a convenient excuse for the lack of Jason in this episode. He's apparently on a fishing trip in the mountains. Billy also has really nice arms and ought to be shirtless, but instead they put him in a skimpy tank top. I suppose it will do as far as eye candy is concerned. If we can't get him shirtless, we'll deal with scantily clad. While I was distracted by Billy Being Pretty, Zordon contacts them and says there is trouble. They teleport to the Command Center where they meet up with Trini and discover Kim has been captured and is in a cave... somewhere. But Zordon doesn't know where. But he was watching them on the Viewing Globe. Yet he still doesn't know where they are.

So they're supposed to find Kim, but there is a putty attack in the park and Ritchie and Curtis are in trouble (only they're not, because they were totally handling themselves in that fight, being set up as replacements like woah). So Zack is going to go help them while Billy and Trini go find Kim. And Jason isn't there because he's on his fishing trip. And I just wonder why he can't escape the fishing trip for a bit? I mean, they get out of school all the time. Can't he just claim a spastic colon and go lock himself in a bathroom or something? Oh but wait, Zordon gives a flimsy and nonsensical excuse. Somehow the mountains are shielding him from Zordon's communication waves (since when?). Oh Angel Grove geography. Make less sense. I dare you.

So Billy and Trini teleport to the cave we all know and love, but we're apparently not supposed to recognize it as they claim it's never been seen before. Yet it's the same cave everybody gets thrown in when kidnapped, ranger and civilian alike. So we have the WORST VOICE ACTING EVER with somebody who doesn't sound anything like Thuy Trang and is doing an accent we can't even figure out where it's supposed to be from. I spend the rest of the episode trying my best to ignore it.

Meanwhile, Kim wakes up. Goldar does some more magic on her and she's supposed to be under a spell, to be their queen. They've even put her in Rita's old clothes. She's not affected, however, but is smart enough to realize she can't let them know that. So she does the best Rita impression EVER. It's impressive. She squawks and orders and makes demands. She talks back to Goldar and it is AWESOME.

Billy and Not-Trini rush in and she lets them know she's not really under a spell. She even, at one point, comments that she should have been an actress. I find this especially amusing since Amy Jo Johnson is arguably the most successful actress of the entire group, having gone on to have a good number of notable and popular roles in mainstream television. Anyway, Trini manages to get Kim's morpher while Billy distracts Goldar by... pushing him. Or something. Kim morphs, Goldar and the others leave, and then the threesome go to the park to fight the putties and the mirror monster. Y'know, that monster that Zedd made earlier that's just been standing around twiddling it's thumbs. I seriously forgot about it until they went to fight it. They meet up with Zack and Jason, who apparently managed to convince his fellow fisherpeople that he had a spastic colon and needed to vacate for a bit. So they fight off putties and the monster, apparently being non-confrontational, tries to leave. But Zedd won't let him. Zedd makes him grow instead.

I think we all know what happens after that. Zords. Small fight. Mirror destroyed. While I glossed over the fight, I did spend a bit of time marveling at the city planners of Angel Grove. They somehow managed to design downtown, the city center, with conveniently large spaces just the right size for a MegaZord to waltz through without needed to step over or around buildings. And seeing as how the MegaZord towers over even the tallest buildings, that's some MASSIVE walking space.

Back at the Youth Center, Kim laments that she can't find her mirror. Curtis shows up with it in hand and totally macks on her. Oh Curtis, stop being Zack 2.0 please. It's not impressive. Then Bulk and Skull show up, having followed the map all the way to the Juice Bar. They're disappointed, however, to find only Zack, Kim, and Billy and not the Power Rangers as they were expecting. Billy gets hold of the map and points out the other side. There is a coupon for a free muffin. Ritchie even points out the free muffins. He pauses after saying "free muffins" and then waits patiently for Bulk and Skull to each take one. They bite into them and only then does Ritchie add the important part of that deal. The muffins are free with the purchase of lunch. They spit out the muffins (ew) and then can't pay for them or lunch, so Ritchie and Ernie (who just sat idly by while all this was going on) hand over aprons so Bulk and Skull can wash dishes to pay for the food they were told was free when it really wasn't. Good job, upstanding moral characters.

List time:
2.5 fish. The plot was pretty solid, overall, and there were really only a few issues... mainly Zedd turning a non-living thing into a monster (which has been stated he can't do), and Jason's mountain interference before his spastic colon (cookies to anybody that catches where I got the spastic colon reference).

Billy speak: "There's no scientific data to support such practitioners" is as close as we got.

Covered in food: nobody really, unless you count bits of chewed muffin when Bulk and Skull spit out their free-but-not-really muffins.

Episode 75 - Orchestral Maneuvers in the Park

We're back! It's been a not-so-great two weeks (I had a car accident this morning, and is just back from the funeral) and how do we make ourselves feel better? Clearly, the answer is to watch a fish filled episode.

We open at the Juice Bar, where Richie is working in Ernie's job. I miss Ernie, why is he not there today? Curtis shows up, and attempts to have a personality that isn't an exact clone of Zack by telling everyone that he's going to be performing in a jazz concert at the Youth Center that day, except he's worried that his trumpet won't show up in time since it's still on the moving van coming from St. Louis.

And that would be where the episode lost me. Look, my younger brother is a musician. He's at a conservatory for college. He plays the double bass which is freaking huge and it goes with him everywhere, because if you care that much about music then you do not go that long without practicing! And you certainly don't trust the instrument to a moving van. So, I'm already calling fish and we're not even two minutes into the episode.

Zack tells Curtis not to worry - maybe he could use their uncle's trumpet! Their uncle was apparently a famous musician, and for some reason the trumpet is at Zack's house. Really? Zack is a dancer, not a musician. Wouldn't the trumpet, you know, go to Curtis who actually plays the instrument? More fish!

Zack, Kimberly, and Billy go to Zack's house (which we sadly don't get to see) to retrieve the trumpet. Instead, they walk through the park, where Zack is just carrying the trumpet. It isn't in a case or anything. Cue music related rage - that is not how you handle an instrument. Especially when you are walking through Angel Grove Park and have a fairly high chance of getting jumped by putties that would require you to put the trumpet on the ground!

Which... well, guess what happens. Zedd has a plan to put a spell on the trumpet that will make the Rangers hallucinate their old foes, and then they will wear themselves out fighting the illusions. Okay, a few things about this plan. Not that it isn't a good plan, but why is Zedd using all of Rita's monsters? Why doesn't he just send out a bunch of real monsters of his own? They always have enough trouble taking on one monster, just make six or seven of them and send them down at the same time! And why are his illusions solid?

So, the three of them fight the Putties, and while they're fighting another Putty shows up to sprinkle magical fairy dust on the trumpet. Nice plan! Also, for some reason Zack isn't wearing any black - we guess he's the yellow Ranger this episode.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have a plan to figure out who the Rangers are. They're going to make castings of their bootprints, and then have everyone in Angel Grove step in them. Nice plan! There is so much wrong with that plan I can't even figure out where to begin. Let's start with the obvious - the Rangers wear boots. I feel that I've said enough on that subject, so instead I will point out that Bulk came up with this plan because of Cinderella - the movie where the prince is surrounded by all the babes to try on a shoe. *DEAD* Then Bulk makes Skull do all the work, and we spend the next few minutes debating whether it should be Cinderskull or Skullerella. Oh, and then Bulk gets covered in concrete. I thought we'd moved passed this stage.

Back at the Youth Center, Curtis is performing with the magical trumpet, and the actors are really bad at pretending to play. The Rangers all seem to enjoy it, and as he plays they get covered in the fairy dust. After the concert, the best exchange ever occurs.

Billy: Your musical prowess far exceeded my expectations.
Trini: He means you were incredible.

Except that totally isn't what he meant. He meant that he thought that Curtis wasn't going to be that great. Oh, Billy, please continue to snark at people who can't understand you. ♥

Anyway, then the trumpet disappears, because it's been captured by Zedd. Instead, everyone figures that maybe someone walked off with it. I guess Angel Grove has a problem with kleptomaniacs or something. The five Rangers go walking through the park, and then they get attacked by a bunch of old monsters!

Roll call! Fighting Flea! Slippery Shark! Praying Mantis! Grumble Bee! Rhinoblaster! Soccadillo! Saliguana! Stag Beetle! (For the record, I object to this list. If it was going to be a best of their foes, why is the Terror Toad not on it?)

Anyway, so they have a long fight, and Bulk and Skull come and watch and make plans to capture the footprints after. Zordon finally notices what is going on and teleports them out. Kimberly says that the fighting was worse than the mall the day after Christmas. Kim, honey, we think you mean the day after Thanksgiving. (Not that the day after Christmas is a day we would go to the mall either. But then again, I try to avoid the mall during the entire holiday season.) Zordon tells them to go fight the real monster (which he had been previously insisting that there weren't any monsters on Earth, except this one was there the whole time) and then they go and there's a long Zord summoning, and they fight it and the world is safe again.

At the Youth Center, Billy returns the trumpet to Curtis, who is very pleased. Then Bulk and Skull show up with their concrete impressions of the Rangers's footprints. I'm really impressed that they're carrying it, but I guess if Bulk can do 1010 bench presses we shouldn't be that surprised. Zack arranges for a crowd of people to trample them so they drop it. Oh, Power Rangers, never change.

Fish: 3.5. We're being generous since we haven't watched an episode in two weeks.

Billy speak: "I've always been fascinated by the intricate rhythms in jazz."
"Your musical prowess far exceeded my expectations."
"How do you explain the phenomenon that just took place?"

Covered in concrete: Bulk.

Episode 51- Grumble Bee

My little shipper heart absolutely DELIGHTS in this episode. I think I've watched it more often than any other PR episode in it's entire seventeen season run.

So we start out remembering that Angel Grove lacks quality education because Mrs. Applebee, portraying the role of Science Teacher Applebee, is handing out test results. She apologizes to Billy as she hands him his test. He got a B. He's heartbroken! Mrs. Applebee reminds the class that they need top grades to get into the Young Scientists of America Club. Poor Billy is so distraught he can't even be bothered to pick up his backpack, instead dragging it along the ground behind him. He laments his sad, sad little B and Kim attempts to reassure him that a B is still a wonderful grade. After all, she gets them all the time. He appreciates the effort, but he has apparently never in his life ever gotten a B before. I must wonder why he's not in honours classes, advanced a few grades, or gotten his doctorate by this point. Bulk and Skull are mean and tease him, but he can't even give them what for. Poor Billy is the emo-est of all Emo Rangers for just this one episode. Poor little Emo Ranger.

Jason says Billy should take a break and go play some basketball, but I have to wonder if Jason has ever actually paid attention to Billy before. Billy isn't the type to relax and unwind with SPORT. He's just... not. Trini offers to help him "study" and Billy immediately cheers up. Yes, Trini helps him "study" rather a lot apparently. He brightens up so much there is no way it's anything BUT a euphemism. Oh, I'm sorry, was my OTP bias showing a bit there? Let me just go tuck that in.

So Billy and Trini go off to "study" and we discover Billy missed ONE question on the test (what, where there like five questions on a two page test? We assume Mrs. Applebee just asks really long, drawn out questions... or can't do math). The question he missed was about bee classification in the insect kingdom.

Meanwhile, Jason, Zack, and Kim are playing basketball. Putties attack, of course, and we get some really awesome moves from each of them using the basketball as a weapon. Normally fight scenes bore me, but this one was pretty good. They seem to have a handle on things when Goldar shows up with more putties and the Glowing Rope of DOOM. The putties overwhelm the rangers and manage to tie them up. Kim is so little she could probably just slip down between Jason and Zack and get out, but she doesn't even try. It's okay. They all seem to have a thing for bondage on this show. We understand why they don't try too hard to get away.

Rita has sent down her Grumble Bee monster while Jason, Zack, and Kim are all tied up. Zordon was actually paying attention for a change and contacts Billy and Trini about the Grumble Bee and the tied-up rangers. Trini calls out the morphing call and off they go to fight! Together! Just the two of them! They confront the Bee and have a short conversation about the people in your neighborhood. They fight and Billy is weakened by the venom. We then discover the Grumble Bee has some kind of ultrasonic waves that overwhelm them. They bravely run away.

Back at the Command Center, Zordon tells them they have to fight the bee while Alpha tries to break through the Glowing Rope of DOOM to set the others free. Jason reassures them it's the right thing to do, so back to the fight they go. Grumble Bee shoots them with highly toxic... uh... silly string. Billy is affected, but he manages to continue to fight. Meanwhile, Alpha narrows some sort of beam and manages to cut the Glowing Rope of DOOM so the others join the fight. He then gets back to work on some sort of weapon. Apparently it's a case of battery-in-backwards again and he flips something around to finish the weapon. It looks just like a Super Soaker. He sends it to Billy while the others are incapacitated and Billy uses it to shoot foam all over the Bee. Apparently, it really is a Super Soaker.

Rita says, oddly, "Make the monster... giant." for a change. The Zords are called, they get the MegaZord, and then the Bee shoots them with that ultrasonic crap again. He looks more like he's doing the Care Bear stare than anything else. The MegaZord needs more power, they call the Power Sword, the Bee says it probably isn't real, and then he gets blown up good and proper. End of fight.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Zack both have pretty arms while sparring. Tommy shows up in a random five second appearance. Apparently he's been restoring the Angel Grove economy by winning a karate tournament. And then Billy comes bouncing in. No, literally, he bounces. He apparently got an A+ on his test and has been admitted to the Young Scientists of America Club. As if there were any doubt. Trini is very proud of him. Bulk and Skull are apparently flipping out at a table, both studying very hard. Skull is so stressed he's tearing pages out of the book and TSB and I flail and bite our hands and can't really handle this part. Books! You don't do that to books! NYAH! Bulk says if he doesn't get a C on the next test, Mrs. Applebee is going to make the six students with the highest grades tutor him all summer. Uh... I don't think she can just volunteer people like that? And way to punish the kids that actually do their work. Anyway, Zack counts the six rangers and then they all rush to attempt to help Bulk and Skull study. Skull is still tearing pages. I'm very bothered.

Lists!

2.5 fish.

Covered in food: nobody

Billy speak: Lots, though most of it's borderline.
"I'm most perplexed. I've never received a B before."

"I appreciate your efforts, but acceptance into the young scientists of America club is very important to me."

"It's a term which defines a specific order of insects, such as bees."

"The ultrasonic waves are too powerful. We have to find the monster's weakness."

"The venom is highly toxic. It's eating through my suit."

Episode 49- Return of an Old Friend Part 1

So it's Parents Day... at the Youth Center? This appears to be a school function but isn't being held at school. Okay then. Jason's dad loses arm wrestling to Trini's dad. Billy's dad informs us that Billy is running late because he's busy with an experiment. Zack's dad is a nerd and his mom is adorable. Meanwhile, Skull is documenting Parents Day. Bulk and his entire family, overweight mom skinny dad, come in a little late. They appear to crash into the Youth Center, startling Ernie, who then sits down on a table and sends a cake flying. Of course, Bulk and his parents get covered in cake.

Kim's mom and step-dad show up looking for Kim, Kim's dad then walks in, and a random blonde girl says Kim is outside. Trini goes to get her.

Rita has come up with an awesome plan! She will kidnap the parents and expects the rangers to surrender in order to get their parents back. This is actually a good plan and I can see how it just might work.

Trini finds Kim outside all upset and worried about her mom and dad being there together. She doesn't think her dad will show up at all, but Trini reassures her they're both inside looking for her. Putties attack just as they have a touching moment. Zordon actually notices for a change and contacts Jason and Zack, who rush outside to help while Alpha contacts Billy.

I have to stop here and wonder something. There are massive windows on the Youth Center and nobody notices the rangers outside fighting? Ever?

Rita sends her Drammolemonster to tunnel under the Youth Center. It kidnaps all the parents.

Billy shows up late and wonders where everyone is. The floor cracks and smoke comes out, putting Billy under a spell. Rita tells him to bring her the Dragon Dagger, so he teleports to the Command Center. Billy is HAWT when he's evil (he calls Alpha "a poor excuse for a transistor radio"!) He takes the dagger and leaves to get it to Rita in the dark dimension.

The others finally notice their parents are missing. Jason contacts Zordon immediately! With the communicator! He remembered!!!!!! Way to go, Jason! They teleport to the Command Center and start flipping out. Zordon tells them to calm down and that their parents are safe for now. Trini asks about Billy and Zordon tells them he's under a spell, deactivated Alpha, and stole the Dragon Dagger. Trini reactivates Alpha, despite her uncertainty at her ability to do so.

They morph and go after Billy in the dark dimension. Goldar is there and taunts them, then sends putties after them. How in the world were they able to just teleport in like that? I thought this was supposed to be some kind of inescapable prison that they always manage to escape from after twenty minutes of angsting? Billy falls down and Goldar steps over him, not even taking the dagger. He's apparently trying to get to Jason, but Zack gets in the way, then Jason finally reaches him. They do seem to continue that unhealthy obsession with each other. Billy watches it all.

Goldar takes the dagger and the spell is broken. Billy freaks out, Jason reassures him, and Goldar mocks them. He then tells them they have until an hourglass runs down to hand over their power coins to get their parents back. They all manage to leave the dark dimension just as easily as they got in. Way to fail at inescapable prisons!

Goldar calls the DragonZord with the dagger. They summon Zords. We get the MegaZord. It's a freakishly long Zord sequence. They start to fight the DragonZord, run out of power, and then get thrown from the MegaZord pretty much immediately. That... was fast... and made no sense. Mmkay then. Goldar tells them to turn over their coins or lose their parents forever.

They contact Zordon, but he says he can't tell them what to do. Fail as a mentor! So they all hand over their coins, fearing for the safety of their parents. Did nobody stop to think that without the protection of the Power Rangers, everybody in Angel Grove would pretty much die anyway? Poor Billy feels incredibly guilty. Jason sounds medical-attention worthy constipated when he tells Goldar to give them their parents back. Goldar refuses, shuts the box, and leaves. Why are they so surprised? It's not like he's a truthful, trustworthy, honourable monster.

Zordon teleports them all to the Command Center and they have another little angsty freak out. Kim says Goldar has all the power coins and now what will they do? Jason says "Not all of them" and holds out the Green Ranger coin. We get a shot of Tommy walking into the Youth Center wondering where everyone is.

And then that wonderful "To Be Continued" flashes over a freeze-frame of Tommy.

List time!

4 fish. Just because of severe lack of logic.

Covered in food: Bulk, his mother, and his father

Episode 48 - Plague Of The Mantis

Trini is learning Mantis Kung Fu from a random master. She is not very good at it. The most honorable tradition is a fair fight - go in equal numbers. The random master gives her an actual preying mantis to observe.

Bulk and Skull are watching, and they start calling what Trini is doing "Bug Fu." Then they decide to go find a bug of their own to imitate, so that they can charge people to learn from them. Then Bulk gets covered in a milkshake.

Rita decides to send down a mantis monster because of what Trini is learning.

The other Rangers are watching, and Jason says they might all have to learn to keep up with her, but Trini is really struggling with it. Zack is scared of the bug. We're amazed that they remembered. They ask why Trini wanted to learn, and she says because it emphasizes fairness. Apparently it is a REAL challenge not to cheat.

Bulk and Skull show up claiming to be masters of the mystical cockroach kung fu. Zack is freaked out, and Kimberly is disgusted. Skull asks Kimberly out, and she says she doesn't date bugs. Bulk and Skull demonstrate their "skills" and then the Rangers run off to go to the library.

Trini is in the park practicing, when Zordon calls her and says that there's something suspicious in the park. She goes to look, and sees the Mantis monster. It actually looks like one! We're impressed. She tells Zordon to call for backup, and then morphs.

Trini is getting beaten up, and then the other Rangers show up. The monster says that Trini has no honor, because they attacked it with unequal numbers.

Back at the Command Center, Trini feels awful because it's like they cheated. But as Zack points out, it is a MONSTER BUG. So, I don't even know. Trini goes to the Youth Center to practice, where a note mysteriously appears for her. She reads it and leaves, but doesn't take the note. The note turns out to be from the monster, who offers Trini the chance to redeem her honor by fighting individually.

The other Rangers read the note, and decide to investigate. They run over to the quarry, even though they have teleporation abilities. On the way, they get attacked by Putties while Trini is fighting the Mantis. Trini starts to win, so the Mantis brings in a bunch more putties. Trini asks the monster about its honor, and it points out that it HAS no honor, it is one of Rita's monsters.

Zordon finally decides that he should tell the others that Trini is in trouble, so even though they haven't finished with the putties yet, they morph and go join in. I wonder what happened to the putties. When Trini sees them she lets the Mantis know that now it's a fair fight.

Rita makes the monster grow, and we get a long Zord summoning sequence. Trini tells them to watch the Mantis' footwork, and also that it will concentrate all of its energy on a quick single blow. Even with watching its feet, they get hit pretty quickly, and then summon the power sword. They actually fight with the sword for a minute, instead of just using the finishing move. But then Jason decides he's had enough, and the bug gets squished.

Back on the moon, Rita is beating her minions with her wand. At the Command Center, Zordon congratulates Trini, and Billy can't keep his hands off Trini.

At the Youth Center, most of the Rangers are watching Random Reporter guy talk about how awesome they are, while Trini is practicing with Master Li. She's much better this time. Bulk and Skull are trying to charge $50 an hour for lessons, and then they manage to break the jar with cockroaches, and Bulk gets covered in roaches, while the Rangers point and laugh. Eww.

Fish: 2. They remembered that Zack is scared of bugs!

Covered in: Bulk gets covered with cockroaches. EWW. Also, a milkshake.

Billy speak: None! *sadface*

Episode 47- Reign of the Jellyfish

This episode made no sense. And it's not because we watched it at 8:30am because I've been up for hours and already had my caffeine. The episode... just didn't make sense. This would have been a beer-worthy episode. Except it's 8:30 in the morning.


So we start the episode with Ms. Applebee standing by a giant clear plastic ball. It's apparently a time capsule they will be burying. She has asked everyone to bring something to put in the time capsule. I'm trying to remember they're in high school here, but I'm failing at that.

Jason puts in a trophy. He says something about it representing physical fitness or strength or whatever? But I totally miss it because I'm so distracted by his arms. His very pretty pretty arms. Kim puts in a pink shirt to represent individuality and fashion. Ms. Applebee puts in a picture of the Power Rangers. We don't know where this picture comes from, but apparently they just pose for cameras at random with the power weapons? It's special. Anyway, moving on, we find out Zack is putting in a cd of music, Billy is putting in a personal computer he designed with all the latest software (so they can see how advanced their technology was... but by the time they dig the capsule up, it will be horribly outdated), and Trini puts in the newspaper from the day. The newspaper is called the Angel Grove Clarion, just for future reference.

Then Bulk and Skull come in. They want to put a sandwich in the time capsule. Not just any sandwich, but a special sandwich they call the Bulkwich. Nobody points out that said sandwich would be rotted, disgusting, and contaminate everything else in the time capsule. Instead they just laugh when Skull squirts mayonnaise all over Bulk. Ugh.

Meanwhile, Rita, who stalks the rangers and knows everything, wants Squatt and Baboo to go down and steal the time capsule so they can put a picture of her in it. She wants to be immortalized too. She also commands Finster make her a monster and he decides the Jellyfish will be a good one for this occasion.

Back at the *ahem* high school, Billy informs the girls they have the highest grades in the class so the five of them get to bury the time capsule. Are we surprised? Not really. They go to the park and find the designated location for burial, made obvious by the large sign on a pole in the ground that says "Time Capsule Here" with an arrow pointing down. There are no reporters, no teachers, no adults present at all. Nobody is documenting this time capsule burial in any way, shape, or form. Which is very convenient since they then get attacked by putties. David Yost really shines in this fight and he does some awesome moves with a shovel in hand. He was almost enough to distract me from the glory that is Jason's arms. Almost.

Squatt and Baboo get the time capsule and take a look inside. Apparently the very preppy, very pink shirt Kim put in is considered "grunge". Um. No. I was grunge. That wasn't grunge. Moving on, they start to take the capsule away but get confronted by the rangers. They freak out, drop the time capsule, and teleport away

Rita has sent down the Jellyfish monster thing which does not even remotely resemble a jellyfish. Zordon finally notices something is amiss in Angel Grove and calls the rangers. Way to be late to the party, Zordon. Though the rangers just went back to burying the time capsule and didn't bother to contact Zordon themselves after being attacked by putties and Squatt and Baboo trying to steal the time capsule, so this is an all around everybody communication fail.

We recognize the voice of Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and discover he's the same voice as the Cardiotron, Eye Guy, King Sphinx, as well as a bunch of others we haven't gotten to yet.

They go straight to the Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and discover he can spit venom that goes straight through their suits. They go immediately to the Command Center but it's okay because Alpha, in the five nanoseconds between realizing he could penetrate the suits and the rangers showing up, has created a coating for the suits that will keep out the toxin. Well okay then! Perhaps he lives in his own little time warp. Or something.

They go BACK to the Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and he now has a bunch of Super Putties helping him out. They do an alright job fighting, but Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish uses an umbrella (a pretty little pink one to boot) to deflect the weapons. Yes, an umbrella. To deflect weapons. But wait, dear readers, it gets BETTER!

Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish SPINS the umbrella and sends the rangers to an alternate dimension! That's right, he can somehow do that. Did I mention he can teleport around too? What can't this monster do? Except look like an actual jellyfish, of course.

So they're in this alternate dimension and they are confronted with a see-through non-corporeal version of Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish. He can hit them, though. Even though he's non-corporeal. Nod and smile, dear readers. We did. A lot. So Billy theorizes that Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish is actually time fazed and tells Zack to hit him with his canon. We don't know why this is supposed to work, it just is. And so Zack does. By doing so, everybody is pulled out of the alternate dimension. Fishy fish looks-nothing-like-a-fish!

Rita makes him grow, they call the Zords, and they fight for a bit. Then they call the MegaZord. Then they fight for a bit. Then they win. Surprised? Yeah, neither are we.

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie rewards the rangers with five cold glasses of something to drink, on the house, because they worked hard to bury the time capsule. Bulk and Skull come running in with a very large sandwich, apparently the Bulkwich. They've finally finished making it, but Jason informs them the capsule has already been buried. Still nobody mentions rotted food. In disappointment, Bulk and Skull drop the sandwich on their heads and then get in a food fight. Everybody laughs.

The rangers hope for a future free of war, crime, prejudice, and a bunch of other stuff that is very noble, but not likely to happen... though I certainly wish I could live in the Star Trek Utopia. And that's the end of that.

List time!

4 fish, solid. It was just... it made no sense.

Because we are recapping during the day right now, Emo Kid is around and watching. This episode gets a special Emo Kid Rating of "fun".

No Billy speak really.

Covered in food: Bulk in mayonnaise and then Bulk and Skull in sandwich.

Fic we want to read: SPD traveling from New Tech City to Angel Grove (can't be that far away, they both suffer from geography making no sense) to dig up the time capsule. Hilarity should ensue.

Episode 46 - To Flea Or Not To Flee

We open in the Youth Center. Zack is collecting donations, and amazingly, he isn't wearing any black. We're almost too busy being shocked by this to realize that Zack is collecting donations to save the Youth Center. Apparently it's going out of business. We have two theories on this. First, we haven't had a martial arts tournament in a while, so maybe the boys should get on that. Alternately, the Rangers could just start paying for their food and drinks. That would probably help them.

Jason walks in carrying a puppy. We're confused as to why he's carrying it, but he's showing off his arms nicely, so we can't really complain about that. Plus, the dog is really cute. Puppy! Meanwhile, at the high school, Bulk and Skull find a reward poster for the dog. Gee, I wonder how the Youth Center will be saved? Skull also has really ridiculous hair.

Up on the moon, Rita has found footage of a monster that can be used! Or else the Zyu2 footage arrived. We really need to watch Sentai. Maybe in 2015 after we finish RPM. Rita is having Finster use the monstermatic machine to create a Fighting Flea, that actually just looks like a lobster. Squatt is all excited, and actually says that "it's launcheroonie time!"

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie is being really nice, and the Rangers keep going on about how they can't let him close. Just pay your damn bill, Rangers! Jason realizes that he should take the dog for a walk, and Kim volunteers to go with him. So Jason carries the dog out to the park. It's called a walk, not a carry. But it shows off his arms, so.

Rita zaps the dog with the flea monster, and Jason then starts itching. While he's being distracted by itching, Bulk and Skull steal the dog, as they want to claim the reward.

Goldar starts monologing about how now it is time to destroy the Red Ranger. Oh, Goldar, you are a little obsessed, aren't you?

Putties show up to attack Kim and Jason, and as soon as the Putties touch Jason, they get covered with fleas. They stop fighting to go fall on the ground and start itching. Kim and Jason realize that something is wrong, so they go to the Command Center, where Zordon provides Jason with a temporary antidote. If he comes back in contact with the monster, he will start itching again. Jason starts admiring his arms and the giant rash that covers them.

Bulk and Skull call the number for the reward. They have to go to a phone booth. Which... oh my god, we are SO OLD. Just as they start calling, Rita has the flea monster jump off the dog, and it attacks them. It sounds just like Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks.

The Rangers split up. Jason and Kim go to look for the dog, Billy goes to create a better antidote, and Trini and Zack go to the Youth Center. The Flea monster goes to attack Jason, because he thinks he's tasty. We can agree with that. As soon as the monster shows up, Jason starts itching, which apparently means he has to start doing flips. IDK.

The other Rangers show up, and there's a giant fight in a junkyard. I feel as though they should be singing and then turning into children. Yes, this is just an excuse to link to High School Musical. Do not judge us.

Billy has found an antidote, so Jason stops itching, and then Rita makes the Flea grow. For some reason, the fight is in slow motion. Hmm. I guess they had time to kill.

After winning the battle (Power Sword for the win!) the Rangers go back to the Youth Center, where Ernie is feeding the dog chili. The dog's owner shows up, and thanks them for finding Pierre, and asks who to give the reward to. The Rangers say Ernie, and then they can keep the Juice Bar open! I still don't see how this fixes Ernie's problem, especially when he immediately gives the Rangers pizza and soda on the house.

Bulk and Skull show up, still itching. Billy wonders if he should give them the cure, and so they go and give them FLEA COLLARS that they have to wear for a WEEK. OMGWTF WHY ARE THEY SUCH BULLIES?!

Fish: 3.5 This was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "Ernie's operating expenses far exceeded his revenues."
Trini Translation: "He's broke." (Seriously, Kim needed that translated?)

Covered in: Bulk, Skull and Jason get covered in fleas.

Episode 45- Crystal of Nightmares

Just a note: We were previously using the Ranger Central episode list and they have just recently updated their order. We were out of order. So now we're trying to get it back in sync. Oh, and I has a TSB! In person! At my place of residence! So this is LIVE capping. :D

So we're up to Crystal of Nightmares now. The best part of this episode is the homoerotic pillow fight between Jason, Zack, and Billy. Aw, boys.

So we start off with Trini and Kim stressing over an upcoming major science test. Billy, Jason, and Zack, however, are relaxed and have sly smiles. They've plotted something. Cheating off Billy perhaps? They certainly look like they have nefarious plans. But no, actually it's just that Billy's uncle has given them use of two of his cabins for the weekend and the rangers are going to spend all of it studying. (TSB says "studying" is clearly code for something else.)

Bulk and Skull snoop on the rangers and then get covered in bird poop. It's more than a little disgusting.

So they go up to the cabin and spend some time lounging around studying. Eventually they decide to take a break and have dinner. The show FAILS by having Jason want a big burger, Trini want Chinese food, and Kim requesting only a salad. Way to stereotype, show! Zack throws us for a loop by asking if they can have liver. Liver? Really?

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull dress up in drag and put on maid uniforms to sneak into the rangers rooms. They're looking for the science notes. Bulk starts digging through bags while Skull actually cleans. We learn Bulk is allergic to dust, and then the rangers come back. Bulk and Skull hide under Jason's bed. The boys bid the girls goodnight (immediately after dinner? What are you, two?) and then Zack shows off. He dances. For Billy and Jason. It can only be described as he's putting on quite a show for his boyfriends. Billy sits with a pillow on his lap (ahem ahem) and then throws it at Zack. The most homoerotic pillow fight ensues. It's spectacular.

Then they all just... go to bed. We can't complain too much, however, because Zack is wearing the tiniest of tiny shirts and Jason is shirtless. Mmmmboys. I, uh, could pause it right there for awhile. But alas, the recap must go on, despite the pretty pretty boys (and Jason's really nice arms).

Goldar is in a cave while everyone sleeps and he's using the Crystal of Nightmares, all glowy and covered in lightning, to give the rangers nightmares. He's going to use the nightmares to take away the confidence of all the rangers. Although we question the viability of this plan. I mean, Billy never really had self confidence in the first place? But okay, we'll go with it, because we're still happy about the homoerotic pillow fight. Though we are forcibly reminded of the Mirror of Regret. Yes, we know it technically hasn't happened yet in canon. We don't care. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. Nod and smile.

The nightmares consist of flashbacks. Billy flashes back to the Terror Toad. Zack flashes back to his birthday and the Nasty Knight. Kim dreams about being trapped in a bottle during her Really Bad Day (but at least they cut out her screaming for Tommy). Jason's nightmare is being trapped in the dark dimension where Goldar did inappropriate things to him. Trini's nightmare is the rangers getting covered in something that looks like silly string and we cannot for the life of us figure out which episode it's from. Any ideas?

Bulk and Skull, meanwhile, are asleep under Jason's bed and they dream about being food-related superheroes (enough with the fatphobia show) and they pilot the MegaZord. Then they crash. And somehow this is a nightmare.

Then all the rangers have a communal dream that Zordon takes their powers away. They freak out and in the morning they act as if they're still terrified. Kim is even hesitant to open the door for the boys. You would think they'd all be relieved to wake up and realize it was just dreams? But apparently not. Zordon, now that it's morning, FINALLY notices Goldar is using the Crystal of Nightmares. Zordon!Fail! He contacts the rangers and tells them the only way to regain their confidence is to destroy the crystal. They all freak out and he teleports them to the cave anyway. We get the shot from my icon (aw, icon!) and then they all have to fight a bunch of putties. They suck. It's like Day of the Dumpster all over again.

Billy cops a feel on Trini and then Jason runs for the mouth of the cave. He gets in and is confronted by Goldar. He fights him and manages to destroy the crystal and suddenly they're all confident again. That's it? Really? Wow was that easy. Although I won't complain too much because Jason looks really good in that shot. Austin St. John? You were a very attractive young man.

They beat the putties and then Goldar and Scorpina go after them. They don't even get a hit in before Rita makes them grow and then we get yet another extremely long Zord summoning sequence. They get their asses handed to them but then Jason calls on the Power Sword and, withing two or three hits, Goldar and Scorpina go running.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are awoken by the real maid and they start screaming because it's time for the test. They take off at a run and then we see everybody the following day. Mrs. Applebee is sick so Principal Caplan is handing out the graded tests. Seriously, Angel Grove High, hire another teacher okay? Having two AND a principal won't kill you, I promise.

The rangers all get A's, of course, and then Bulk and Skull get called to the front of the classroom. Principal Caplan humiliates them in front of the entire class by showing everybody their F's. He then gives them detention forever. Um... wow. If any staff member did that to MY kid, I'd take it to the highest authority I had to in order to get an apology and action taken against said staff member. That's just not okay. But we're supposed to think it is, and then Bulk sneezes and blows off Principal Caplan's toupee. Oh show. Fail a little harder.

List time!
2.5 fish. It was overall relatively consistent, but we couldn't identify Trini's nightmare episode, Billy never HAD self confidence in the first place, and then the outrageous behaviour of Principal Caplan in regards to Bulk and Skull.

Billy speak: none really... he had a few lines that were borderline, but nothing I considered overly intellectual.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in bird poop, which isn't food, but it had to go somewhere. Ew.

Episode 44 - Rita's Seed of Evil

Today on Power Rangers - It's Tentacle Porn Time!

We start our episode in science class, which is apparently taught by the principal. Angel Grove really needs to hire another teacher. Perhaps one who is aware of educational standards. Because their big project is to plant a tree.

Bulk and Skull come into the classroom, and they claim that they're going to show up the Rangers. They unveil a much larger tree, and Kimberly inspects them, sees a tag, and suggests that they'll have a much better luck if they weren't plastic. Bulk yells at Skull and tells him that he was supposed to take off the tag. Apparently Skull is making a habit of sabatoging Bulk. I'm wondering if he's doing this on purpose for the way Bulk treats him. Bulk tries to chase Skull and ends up getting covered in paint.

Rita decides that if the Rangers are into plants, then she'll just create one of her own. A giant plant that will have such giant tentacles that it will crush the Earth. Amazing.

The Rangers go to the park and plant their little trees. Billy apparently has special fertilizer that will make the plants grow better. Oh, Billy, I'm sure that you grow the best grass, really. They go off to get water.

Bulk and Skull are apparently desperate to get a better grade, although it's amazing that they care at all. Rita sends Squatt down to plant the seeds of the Octoplant (best. name. ever.) Bulk and Skull run into Squatt, literally, and then they go hide in a port-a-potty. Disgusting.

The Rangers see Squatt running away, so they run after him, and they are attacked by Putties. It's a decent fight - Kim and Trini teaming up is always awesome.

They get summoned to the Command Center after, and Zordon is still trying to figure out the plan. Kim calls what's going on Rita's latest temper tantrum, which is a pretty awesome description. Jason is still worried about their plants, so he goes off to the park again, where we discover that the plants are now glowing a sparkly purple. He tries to grab it, which is not such a good idea, considering sparkly and evil. Jason is promptly molested by tentacles, and I spent the next five minutes laughing my ass off while my roommate is confused as to why we're watching tentacle porn. The other Rangers go to rescue him. They try and touch the purple electric glowy plants again, and Rita sends down Goldar and Scorpina. They also send down a weird looking black putty that we assume might have been a monster. It was odd.

The monster blooms, and it doesn't quite look like the giant tentacles that are supposed to squash the Earth. There is a pretty big Zord fight, and somehow the monster decides to stop fighting and go stare in a window.

Back at school, Bulk and Skull show up all covered in garbage. They'd been picked up still in the port-a-potty and thrown in a dumpster. Mr. Caplan yells at them both, and then smells them and passes out. My roommate starts staring at me like I'm crazy for watching this show. Seriously, MMPR. Fail more.

Fish: 2 fish. There was tentacle porn!

Billy speak: "She's mostly composed of vegetable matter so our weapons have little effect."
"My special fertilizer will enhance the growing process."

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in paint. Bulk and Skull both get covered in garbage.

Episode 43- Lions & Blizzards

Okay, I went into this episode incredibly angry from having watched the character assassination and intensely disturbing plot point from RPM not even an hour before this... and that has somewhat affected my recap. Apologies in advance.

We start this episode at the Oddball Games. We're not sure why they're called that, but okay. All five rangers are on the red team and we seriously couldn't tell Jason was wearing a jersey... it matched his shirt, shorts, shoes, and SHOELACES. Even his shoelaces are bright red.

On the blue team are Bulk, Skull, Angela, and other people we don't know. They end up in a tug of war to break the points tie and, of course, the rangers win and Bulk, Skull, Angela, and Principal Caplan (who was playing referee I guess) end up covered in mud. Zack, after previously trying to convince her to go to his "winning" team, offers to help Angela up and I was rooting for her to pull him into the mud with her, but she didn't.

So the rangers win the Noble Lion Trophy. They go to collect it only to discover that it's been taken. They immediately suspect Bulk and Skull. We get a little irritated but it turns out it was Bulk and Skull. They have it in the park. Rita turns it into a half lion, half goat monster, and it attacks Bulk and Skull, knocking them into the pond. The monster is named Goatan, but we spent the whole episode thinking it sounded just like a Dragonball Z character. So take that for what it's worth.

The rangers separate to go in search of Bulk and Skull and instead end up being attacked by putties. We have to commend Billy here. He has really improved. He holds his own against four putties on a playground. The putties then just randomly disappear. They decide they need to run off and meet up with Jason and Kim. Instead of using communicators, y'know, those things Billy designed to communicate with the others over long distances, yeah, instead of using those, they take off running. Oh show. Fail a little more, okay?

Later, at the Youth Center, Zack calls Angela a "babe-a-saurus" and I want to hit something (I told you I started this recap ANGRY). Angela then walks up to him wearing what looks like something you'd find a cheap hooker down on the street corner, and asks him on a date. What? Earlier, at the games, she turned him down and now she's asking him out? Make less sense, show, I DARE you.

They go to the movies and then Billy and Trini come into the Youth Center wearing bad weather gear... a mix of snow and rain type jackets and hats. Ernie announces they're under a tornado watch and everybody needs to get to the basement. Meanwhile, Zordon calls the rangers on the communicators and they teleport to the Command Center. From the middle of the Youth Center. And it's not like it had been awhile since people went to the basement either. Secret identities, guys, you're doing it WRONG! Zordon sends them out to fight Goatan, and we discuss DBZ again.

Zack, at the movies with Angela, tries to pull the "it's cold in here, let me wrap my arm around you" bit and we want to pound things because he's being sleazy (and hello, started the episode mad at power rangers already, sorry). Zordon tries to contact him but Zack doesn't hear it.

In battle, the rangers are kind of failing a whole lot. Goatan gets them in some tornado thingy and then Zack finally hears his communicator. Angela asks what it was and Zack says it's his popcorn alarm. Seriously, Zack? Popcorn alarm? What, pager, medication alarm, or needing to pee really not working for you or something? Wow, that was just... stupid.

So Zack joins the fight and apparently Goatan ruining his date is worse than his friends being in trouble. Mmkay. I could thwap him right now, I really could. They fight a little. An aside, here, because this fight is very boring and kind of fishy? But I stopped mid-fight and declared this episode would be ten times better if the lion part of the monster suddenly got very hungry and just nommed down on the goat's head right below him. That is the only thing that could have saved this episode. Alas, it didn't happen.

So they end up needing the Zords, of course, and they can't beat him and he freezes them. The controls are frozen as well, but Zack says the left tread isn't frozen and he can spin them. So he does. Despite the controls being frozen. We determined they must have included a "fish in the system" during building of the Zords, just for instances like this one. They beat Goatan really easily and then go back to the Command Center to talk for awhile. Zack then remembers he was on a date and needs to get back to it lest Angela get mad. Gee, you think?

He comes in at the end of the movie with two big buckets of popcorn and Angela, being the smart girl we knew she was in the first place, dumps her bucket on his head and walks out. Good girl.

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie is hanging a plant with help from Kim. Why, I don't know, he just is. A police officer walks in with Bulk and Skull, covered in mud, and Jason identifies them as swamp monsters. Way to sass the police, Jason! I'm sure that's going to go over well. Bulk flails a bit, knocks into Ernie, and gets covered in water. There was a frog in his shirt. Oh show.

2.5 fish. It really wasn't that bad, just the monster fight was weird and Angela asking Zack on a date totally contradicting previous canon.

Billy speak: "[something unintelligible] most effective against our adversaries."

"This is a decidedly large expanse to cover."

Covered in food: Zack gets covered in popcorn (and lots of people get covered in mud).

We have vowed to never watch this episode again.

Episode 42 - Something Fishy

I'm really sorry I didn't get to Devon's Ghost yet. I've had a really hectic week. It is coming, I swear.

We've reached the reason this blog exists! This is the Billy is afraid of fish episode. And yes, he obviously gets over it at the end, but we still really doubt that he would move to a fish planet and then hook up with one. But the point is, our hatred of that particular plot point would be the reason that we have this blog and the rating scale that we do, so major love for this episode! (It is totally fitting that this is episode #42.)

Our episode begins with discovering that Jason is a licensed diving instructor, which also means that he wears really atrocious shorts. Jason, Zack and Trini are going to go scuba diving, and they invite Kimberly and Billy along. Kimberly says that she doesn't want to mess up a perfectly good hair day (which, it really isn't. Her outfit is pretty awful as well) and Billy says that he doesn't like fish. Instead, Billy and Kimberly are going on a picnic by a lake. Because they are adorable.

Bulk and Skull show up, and it looks like Bulk is wearing tights. Predictable hijinks ensue, where Skull harasses Trini (which is different. Shouldn't he be hitting on Ki instead?) and we find out that they're planning on going fishing. Also, Bulk's locker is disgusting. Seriously, there is no reason for that much trash to be in there. Ewww.

Later, Jason gives a lecture on diving safety, and we get some shots of them zipping up their wet suits. We approve of this. A lot. We have no idea when (or how at 16) Jason managed to become a licensed diving instructor, but at least later canon manages to remember this point.

While they're diving, Kimberly and Billy are having a lovely picnic. Apparently Billy's fear of fish extends to eating fish, (Kim packed fish and chips for lunch) and I'm sure that Cestria will have a major problem with this later. Kimberly asks Billy why he's so afraid of fish, and we get treated to a flashback of wee ickle Billy trying to apply what he learned of whirlpools to a pond, where a fish bit him! Seriously, he is so adorable. Kimberly giggles, and I really can't blame her. She also points out that at least it wasn't a piranha.

There's a disturbance, and they glance over to see Bulk and Skull fishing. Bulk has managed to catch a no fishing sign, along with a lot of other garbage. Apparently their Clean up club didn't do this section of the park. Bulk and Skull try and catch a fish, but all they manage to do is hook their lines to their belts and they end up throwing themselves in the lake.

After laughing at them, Kimberly suggests they go see the divers and then get some ice cream. Billy is all excited, and he asks if it can be chocolate chocolate chip. Now I'm craving ice cream. Which I don't have, but I think there are brownies. Mmmbrownies.

Before they get very far, putties attack! Rita was listening in on their date Billy's fear of fish, and now it is time for an attack. At first Kim and Billy are all "Oh no! Too many putties!" but they end up winning, and they are awesome. Plus, we get to see their gymnastics skills. The Kim and Billy fights are always way fun to watch.

After they defeat the Putties, they actually remember that they have communicators. They contact Zordon and find out that Rita has unleashed a new monster called the Goo Fish, which is the best name ever. The Goo Fish spits out a goo that basically immobilizes people. We should really start keeping track of how many monsters can glue people to the ground or freeze them, I'm guessing it's a lot.

Billy and Kim go and fight alone, while Zordon tries to contact the divers. Did they seriously not plan for this at all? Luckily, their communicators are waterproof, and the other three are just finishing up their swim. Unfortunately, Zordon calls them right before they were about to strip off their wet suits. *sadface*

As Kim and Billy fight the Goo Fish, who is voiced by Lord Zedd and we are both really weirded out by that, Rita places a spell on Billy to make his fear of fish even worse. He goes and cowers by a rock while Kimberly protects him, until the other Rangers show up. Goo Fish runs away, and the Rangers all go back to the Command Center, where they start complaining about how tough the mosnter was. SERIOUSLY? After the events of Doomsday they think this is tough?! Whatever.

They go fight the Goo Fish again, and the Divers get gooed. Billy is all afraid again, so Kimberly kicks some serious ass to protect her friends. Unfortunately, it isn't enough. But Billy's love of his friends gives him the strength to break the spell and (temporarily) face his fear of fish. Rita makes the monster grow, and wow, they were really running low on Sentai footage, because this is one long Zord sequence. The Goo Fish starts beating them up and then Zack (Zack!) comes up with the idea to convert the Goo to energy and somehow that lets them summon the Power Sword and beat up the Goo Fish. Whatever, at least we got 18 minutes into the episode before we had to call fish.

Back at the Youth Center, at a much later point in time, Billy returns from going fishing with Ernie. He claims he might actually like this sport. Ernie says they'll cook up what they caught. Bulk and Skull show up, saying they caught the big one. It turns out that Skull just bought a giant can of tuna. Oh, Skull. Skull says he doesn't know any other kind of fish. *pets him* Everyone laughs. Bulk wants to inspect what Billy caught, and it turns out that Billy caught a lobster. There is so much wrong with that we really don't know where to start. First, that was the most fake lobster ever. Second, there was no way that lobster was alive. And third, that was not a California Lobster. And there are regulations about getting those lobsters, and we doubt that Billy got a sports fishing license. (Yes, this is exactly the sort of thing we nitpick.) (This may just prove my point that Angel Grove is secretly its own country.)

Also, I wouldn't laugh if someone has a lobster attached to their nose. That is just mean.


Fish: This episode gets 2.5 fish. Mostly for the WTF of the Zord fight and the fact that we ended up spending 20 minutes discussing the lobster after.

Billy speak: "I have a regrettable dislike for fish"
"A carefully planned distance from any fish substance!"
"My intuition tells me that Rita is up to something."
(There was probably a lot more, but we were too busy yelling about him eventually marrying a fish)

Covered in: Bulk and Skull get covered in garbage, thrown in a lake, and then Bulk gets a lobster stuck to his nose.

Questions to ponder: What other crazy plot points from early seasons should have shown up later on?

Episode 41- A Pig Surprise

First, I'd like to apologize for this not being up yesterday. We were both incredibly busy and there was inclement weather which made internet not possible. So you're getting it today. And it's a Pudgy Pig episode! I LOVE Pudgy Pig. No rational reason why, I just do.

We start the episode with the ranger teens working at a pet adoption fair. They adopt out a bunny and puppy to children with no parents present (I shudder at the thought). Just as they are about to close up, an elderly woman comes up with a pig on a leash. She can't keep the pig and hopes they can find him a good home. His name is Norman. Kim is grossed out by him, but I just think he's the most adorable piggy ever. Dawwwww Norman.

We cut to Zack running through the forest, stopping long enough to check his watch. He's apparently very late. We suspect he's been taking lessons from Tommy. He stumbles across the old woman from before and she dances around and turns into a putty. He goes to attack, but the putty splits multiple times and Zack complains it's not a fair fight. It's never been unfair before, him versus multiple putties, but we won't complain too much because it makes for one awesome solo fight! He wins, picks up a spinny thing that fell on the ground, and then runs off.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull come running up to the pet adoption booth. They want a pet too! They want something cool and different. Trini hands them Norman's leash and they happily take him home. At school the following day, they're showing him off. They are so proud! It's great. Bulk tries to get Norman to do some tricks but Norman basically ignores him, so he says "Stand there and ignore me" which Norman does. It's pretty clever, actually.

Billy and Trini are in Billy's garage trying to figure out the spinny device. Zack walks up and he can't offer much help, but he's curious how it's going. Billy suddenly remembers Zack said it was dropped by a putty that was disguised as an old woman, and it they FINALLY put two and two together. Maybe this device has something to do with Norman! Golly, you think?

They race to school, which is still in session by the way, so they were skipping. Jason and Kim haven't seen Bulk and Skull, so Billy and Trini go back to his garage and the other three look for the pig. Zack finds Bulk and Skull in the Youth Center with Norman just as the timer on the spinny thing counts down to zero. Norman turns into Pudgy Pig and everybody runs screaming. Skull tries to get him to remember that they are his parents, but he just wants to eat Bulk's sandwich. Zack, meanwhile, just kind of stands there. He doesn't call for help. He doesn't use the communicator. He doesn't run off and morph. He just... stands there.

Pudgy Pig has the munchies, which must mean it's 4:20, and he disappears from the Youth Center to who knows where, in hopes of finding food. Zack finally contacts Zordon and he says the other rangers are at the Command Center waiting for him. Zack AND Zordon!Fail.

The rangers all morph and run off to fight Pudgy Pig. Hey, look, it's the SAME sentai footage from Food Fight. Nice to see you there, familiar sentai footage. It is pretty cute how Pudgy Pig just kind of sits on the ledge of the roof though. He's just chilling, hanging out, still with the munchies. He teleports away, though, because the rangers are harshing his squee.

They find him at a pig farm. They hide expertly behind a pile of baled hay (because nothing says covert like bright red, yellow, blue, black, and pink spandex!) and discover he's dancing! Why is he dancing? Why, because he's trying to impress a lady pig, of course! Pudgy Pig is in love and it's the most ADORABLE THING EVER. No, seriously. I spent a few minutes just going "Daawwwwwww" and irritating TSB. The rangers think Pudgy Pig/Norman and Lady Pig would make beautiful bacon together (which is kind of morbid, when you think about it) and then say Pudgy Pig MUST be Norman because Rita's monsters can't fall in love. Way to stereotype, guys! Monsters can fall in love! *grumble grumble*

Zordon contacts them and we discover it was all a distraction. Rita really planned to send Goldar down to demolish the city. He's currently crushing things left and right in downtown Angel Grove. So the Rangers go fight him but end up being attacked by Scorpina instead. Goldar threatens to squish them like the little bugs he thinks they are and so they summon the zords in a really long sequence. Way to be out of sentai footage, guys!

We are then treated to a really long Goldar/MegaZord fight, with lots and lots of Rita reaction shots. Meanwhile, they call for the Mega Sword, which is supposed to be Power Sword, and it actually took me a minute to figure out they were saying Mega SWORD and not Mega ZORD and... yeah. Anyway. Goldar is pulled back by Rita just as the Rangers are about to slice him with the sword.

A short while later, they head back to the pig farm where Pudgy Pig/Norman is still trying to woo the lady pig. She seems rather unimpressed. Billy has fixed the spinny device and uses it to turn Pudgy Pig/Norman back into just Norman the pig. Lady Pig is duly impressed. Farmer agrees to adopt Norman so they can make beautiful (creepy and morbid) bacon together.

At school the following day, we discover Ms. Applebee is ill so Principal Caplan will be teaching her class. They're going to learn about farm animals and we have to remind ourselves this is supposed to be high school. Principal Caplan brings in a pig and poor Bulk and Skull, traumatized from what happened to the last pig they hung out with, freak out and run away. Poor Bulk and Skull.

List time!

Fish: 2.5 because it could have been worse, but it could have been better. And it's the most adorable episode.

Billy speak: "I was able to recalibrate the transformer so if my calculations are correct, it should reverse the process with no harm to Norman"

Question to ponder: Where did Rita get Norman from in the first place?

Fic we want: Angel Grove guidance counselors dealing with weird fears of the students due to Rita's wacky hijinks. "I was attacked by a rubber duck monster! Now I'm terrified to take a bath!" I nominate TSB to write it. Because I have too many fics in the works to add another "mundane daily life of Angel Grove residents" to my list.

Episode 40 - Doomsday Part 2

You know, considering how great part 1 of this episode was, you would think that part 2 would be awesome. And there are some good moments, but honestly we spent about half of it chanting fish at each other.

So, we open at the Command Center, and Zordon is going over the threat again, and he points out that Goldar hasn't brought out his awesome zord in 10,000 years. Of course Goldar hasn't brought it out in 10,000 years. He's been sealed in a can. While we're busy rolling our eyes at that, the next ridiculous statement is made. Apparently it requires 12 hours to charge back up the Megazord. Right now the Zords are only at half power. If they fight at half power and get destroyed, apparently it can destroy the grid. Wait, seriously? Since when does it take that long to charge up? And obviously they've fought at below half power before, considering that the Zords are currently charging. Fish fish fish.

So, they go, and promptly get beaten up. In fact, the Megazord gets its arm cut off. And seriously, that Zord has to be at least semi-sentient at this point, because while the Rangers are all freaking out (seriously, it's the best reaction shot ever) the Megazord manages to defend itself anyway. So they call in the Dragonzord, which promptly loses part of its tail. They keep getting beaten up, and then suddenly the Zords start to disintegrate, and seriously, that was pretty incredible. I mean, the special effects are ridiculous, but seeing the Zords get destroyed like that is pretty powerful.

The Rangers all abandon ship, and demorph back in the park. Apparently Rita is jamming the frequency of their communicators so they can't call the Command Center. Oh, and don't worry, because Billy's about to pull a Billy Ex Machina, and it turns out that the Zords have a failsafe where they teleport back to wherever it is they stay if they're about to be destroyed. If so, seriously, why haven't we heard about this before, and why was Zordon so busy going "blah blah destroy the grid" if you go?

So they head back to Billy's garage, and we get a shot of the Radbug. And I thought we've already established that if you can't contact the Power Chamber, you take the radbug. But Billy apparently has some wacky tool that will fix the communicators. Of course, there hasn't been enough drama in this episode yet, so Goldar and some putties show up to menace them.

Meanwhile, at the Command Center, Zordon is all "woe is me, I can't find the Rangers without their communicators", which is frankly bullshit. But Alpha tells us that since Rita's awesome moon palace is on Earth, apparently they can hack her systems now. I'm getting weird Independence Day flashbacks.

Back at Billy's garage, Goldar is still just standing there and being vaguely threatening. He hasn't even tried to attack yet. And he just watches as the Rangers teleport back to the Command Center.

And guess what? Apparently it must have been WAY MORE than 12 hours, because all of the Zords are just fine! Including Titanus, which must have been rescued from the sandpit by some flying sand-fish. Some other stuff might have happened at this point, but there was a long series of ????? and !!!!!! and flailing and screaming about fish and seriously, show, you could at least try to be consistent within the same episode. Zordon's big plan is that if they just keep changing Zord configurations, they can overwhelm Goldar's Zord. Which... apparently works. Big fight scene. Things blow up. Nothing to say about it really.

So after Cyclopsis blows up (it lost its head last time and still recovered!) Finster blames Goldar, and then Rita packs up her palace and goes back to the moon, and for some reason that makes the entire town reappear in the Park or wherever it was they were gathering.

Some little kids start arguing over which Ranger is the best. One boy likes the Red Ranger, another boy likes the Black Ranger, and a third boy likes the Blue Ranger. A little girl says she likes the Pink and Yellow Rangers, and seriously, couldn't you have gotten a second girl? Or maybe have one of the boys like one of the female Rangers? Is that too much to ask?! Of course, Tommy then makes an appearance (wearing all green, of course) and he tells them a secret - they are all the greatest. (I was really hoping he would say the Green Ranger is the greatest. Oh well.) So the Rangers show up and the all walk up and clap him on the shoulder, and seriously, how come nobody realizes Tommy used to be the Green Ranger?

The mayor makes a speech about how the Rangers are awesome, and that's the end of Power Rangers Day.

But wait, there's more! Back at the Command Center, Zordon says that while they haven't defeated Rita, they have dealt her a major blow. He then offers them the chance to quit. None of them do. Until they go off to a Peace Conference or move to a fish planet, anyway. That would be a great place to end the episode, except then Alpha says he caught a virus. A computer virus. GROAN.


Fish: Four fish. None of the Zord stuff made any sense.

Billy speak: "Rita's undoubtedly jamming the frequency"
"I'm adjusting the modulator to read an alternative signal"

Questions to be answered: What did the people in town experience while they were caught in the alternate dimension? What sort of events should happen at Power Rangers Day?

Episode 39- Doomsday Part 1

This episode starts with the news that it's going to be Power Ranger Day! There is going to be a big celebration in the park and the Rangers are going to make an appearance, all in celebration of the fantastic wonderful things they do to save the city.

Bulk and Skull hide in a corner and decide they want to pretend to be superheroes. They devise a plan to dress up and go to the celebration to reveal themselves as superheroes too. It's a pretty neat idea, but it's not going to go well because as we all know, Bulk and Skull just can't catch a break.

The park is set up with some really awesome, really wacky balloons. Jason and Zack are looking around for Billy, Kim, and Trini. They stumble upon Angela first and Zack asks her to hang out but she, per usual, turns him down. She does say she'd go on a date with him in a heartbeat if he were a Power Ranger! Oh Angela, if only you knew! They meet up with the others and have very loud conversations about wondering if it's time to morph into costume now. Secret identity: you're doing it wrong.

Bulk and Skull show up, change in a small photo booth, and then awesomely jump on stage. They look fantastic in their costumes! They introduce themselves as Bulkster and Super Skull: Boy Wonderful. I'm madly in love with them right now, Skull in particular. TSB has determined that Skull would make a great Robin one day and is intrigued by Skull/Dick Grayson. Hey, Batman exists in this universe. It could totally happen!

Rita plans to transport everybody to an alternate dimension and then take over Angel Grove. It's actually a really good plan. She starts with Bulk and Skull and within minutes, she's managed to teleport every single person except the Rangers. They contact Zordon and she takes her entire palace from the moon all the way to Earth. The palace is much bigger than it looks because underneath all that moon rock is what appears to be a skyscraper. She settles right in the middle of downtown Angel Grove. A prime location, I do believe.

The Rangers morph and call their Zords just in time to meet up with Goldar and HIS shiny new Zord! Yes, Goldar gets a Zord in this episode! It's name is Cyclopsis and it's insanely powerful. It's more powerful than Goldar is, which actually fits in continuity of the show, what with Zords generally being pretty badass compared to non-Zord-wielding Rangers.

The Rangers just can't beat this Zord, so with the MegaZord running on back-up battery power, they call in DragonZord. He is awesome, but still not powerful enough. The awesomeness that is Titanus shows up and lays the smackdown on Cyclopsis. It essentially BEHEADS him and that's the end of that fight!

Or is it? It's not! Rita sinks Titanus! She opens up a big hole in the ground and Titanus goes down! The MegaDragonZord tries to save him by grabbing him 'round his head and tugging, but Rita zaps them with her wand and Titanus is engulfed. It's really really sad. Poor Titanus, his little head poking out of the dirt while he sinks, crying in terror. Oh I could cry myself!

Rita summons Lokar and they know they're in trouble now. The Rangers, out of power, teleport back to the Command Center. Zordon tells them the residents of Angel Grove are safe in the alternate dimension, but they will be trapped there forever. Jason gets very emo and temporarily turns into Captain Obvious, stating that the Rangers are the only hope left for the residents of Angel Grove, but he look so wooby when he says it, I can't fault him for stating the obvious. Oh Jason, I just want to take you home and feed you cookies when you look like that. Zordon then basically tells them if they lose, the world is lost, and their friends and family will be trapped forever. No pressure or anything, though, right Zordon? Uh-huh.

We end with a To be continued.

That, dear readers, was an AWESOME episode.

List:

1 fish! Two episodes in a row we get only 1 fish.

Billy speak: "We can't allow him to gain a strategic advantage!"

A moment of silence, if you will, for Titanus.

Episode 38 - A Bad Reflection On You

First, l'shana tova to anyone on this community who celebrates. Queenriley and I decided to start the new year by watching an episode of Power Rangers, which we think worked out pretty well. Especially considering what a great episode this was. You guys, we've found our first ONE FISH episode. Not 1.5. Just ONE.

We open with Rita's best plan yet, and honestly, we're amazed it's taken her 38 episodes to think of it, because it is a great plan. Under the command of Scorpina (which is awesome in and of itself) and the new monster whose name we never actually caught, probably because we were too busy being pleased by the plan, a group of Putties are going to be turned into duplicates of the Rangers. We know that this same plot happens almost a dozen times (and we're going to count them!) throughout the show, but it is awesome, and we love evil twin episodes.

And we have to say, they are rocking the evil look. Billy in a wifebeater with his overalls rolled down? YUM. Seriously, David Yost has nice arms. They also have on sunglasses, because all of Rita's spells involve glowing eyes. She needs to work on that.

The Rangers are all brandishing tools of some sort (and there's a minor moment of serious fail when you realize that Zack is the one with the crowbar. At least he doesn't menace anyone with it) which they use to take apart a water fountain and add laundry detergent into it. We're just going to say this once and move on - science doesn't work like that. But there are some amazing moments, and Amy Jo Johnson and David Yost are clearly having fun reviving their Power Punks personas. We also get a repeat of the Skull asking out punk!Kim, and her doppelganger agrees to go out with him. Oh, Skull, we feel so bad for him. Because Kimberly keeps saying yes and then breaking the dates. We almost can't blame him for continuing to ask her out, because she does say yes sometimes. Also, twin!Billy totally shoves one of his geek friends up against a locker, and is it hot in here or is it just me? *fans self*

Anyway, Principal Caplan is the one to use the water fountain, and he ends up covered in foam, and I guess we aren't retiring the covered in [whatever] category any time soon. The fake!Rangers take credit and get thrown in detention, and they leave. The real Rangers get out of class right after, and they try to help the Principal, but are thrown into detention anyway. They're all confused, it is pretty adorable.

And can we just say, that is not how detention works. What they are actually describing is in-school suspension. And even in-school suspension you get supervised the whole time, and you have to do the work that you're missing by not being in class. But Principal Caplan just leaves them there. Angel Grove should really hire a second teacher.

Bulk tells Jason to get out of his seat. Jason asks him if his name is on it, and Bulk says yes. "Buulk." I'm really hoping that this is how his last name is actually spelled, or else seriously, how did nobody ever test Bulk and Skull for some sort of learning disability? Kimberly breaks the date with Skull, and at this point the Rangers should realize that there's some sort of spell going on. Kimberly just ignores it and pulls out a book with a pink cover. Oh, Kim, I really hope you're reading a trashy romance.

Bulk has a detention survival kit, which includes an enormous lunch sent by his mother. We get it, show, you think that the only reason people are fat is because they can't stop eating. Shut up already. We're totally creating a fatphobia tag now. *rage*

On the plus side, at least Bulk appears to have parents who actually care. We could try to do some analysis, but we're afraid it would just be depressing. Meanwhile, poor Skull has no lunch, and we're now convinced that Skull has a lousy home life. He asked Bulk for some of his food, and Bulk gives him the soda.

The soda promptly explodes, and everyone laughs at Skull. I guess this episode is getting the Rangers are Bullies tag. And then Skull aims the soda at Bulk, who also gets covered in soda, and Bulk retaliates by throwing a pie at Skull. Oy. Skull even THANKS him for it.

Meanwhile, stage 2 of Rita's plan is in full swing. Since the Rangers are otherwise occupied in detention, Rita has her evil Rangers morph and start attacking a very Japanese section of Angel Grove. (Hi there, sentai footage!) Fake!Jason even yells out "No mercy!" as they leap into the square. And they start firing on school children. Wow. Pretty great way to ruin the Rangers' reputations quickly.

Back in detention, Bulk has pulled out a tv. He and Skull are watching cartoons before it is interrupted with live footage of the Power Rangers destroying Angel Grove. This is how the Rangers find out. Can we say epic Zordon fail? The Rangers are compared to the same hoodlums that they used to fight. I'm not really sure that monsters count as hoodlums. Bulk and Skull think this is awesome. We really can't wait for season 2 and their endless quest to figure out who the Rangers are.

The Rangers realize they need to get out of detention, and just walking out doesn't work. Apparently they can't just teleport either, but they're going to need to immediately morph. Zack comes up with the idea of a magic trick (which is consistent with his character at least! He'll pull this trick again later) that will make them disappear. Bulk and Skull have to cover their eyes, put their fingers in their ears, and count backwards from 10. The Rangers morph and teleport out.

Okay, look, I said it earlier, but Bulk and Skull really need to be tested for dyscalculia right now. Or something. They should be able to count backwards from ten. Also, with Jason's new enthusiasm at yelling "It's Morphin Time!" they should still have been able to hear them. Teleportation is quiet. Do that first, THEN morph.

Anyway, the Rangers go to the square and fight their doubles. The fake!Pink one actually pulls off a pretty good plan, yelling for Trini to help her. Of course, it turns out to be the real Kim that Trini hits, but Kim fights back, and they hit the fake!Kim and she transforms back into a putty. The same thing happens with the other fake Rangers, except it turns out that fake!Jason is actually a monster. And we get a great fight - this time they use their blade blasters and the power weapons. No Zords at all! We missed this stuff. It's been a while since we've had a non-zord fight!

The people of Angel Grove come to see the Power Rangers and tell them that they saw the whole thing and they knew the Rangers would never betray them. Riiiiiiiiight.

Back in detention, Bulk and Skull are trying to figure out where the Rangers have gone. Giving up, they figure they can rat them out to Caplan. Just as they bring him in, the Rangers teleport back in, and they totally throw Bulk and Skull under a bus. The Rangers are forgiven for 'their' prank, and there's no mention of anyone ever calling their parents. Right.


Lists!
One fish. The only complaint we have about the episode is the ridiculous science. But really, most of the nitpicky stuff we have to say is so consistent with earlier episodes that we can't really complain as much, because that is just how this universe operates. We'll still point it out, of course. And we have to congratulate Rita on an excellent plan.

Covered in food: Caplan gets covered in foam. Skull gets covered in pie and a soda. Bulk gets covered in soda.

Billy speak: "Not even Skull is that mentally deficient"
"What a remarkable display of early neanderthal socio-contact."

Evil Billy speak: Pasta la pizza.

Kimberly speak: "And to think I always liked mirrors"

Episode 37- Clean-Up Club

Today on Power Rangers we are, once again, reminded that Angel Grove lacks quality education. And that we're old.

We start out in Ms. Applebee's class. She is the only teacher employed by Angel Grove High School and there is, apparently, only one very large classroom. Today they are doing video documentaries. On VHS tapes. Oh god we are so OLD.

Skull is filming Bulk. That is apparently going to be their documentary.

Trini does a documentary on pollution. Ms. Applebee agrees it's a disturbing trend and Trini proposes a Clean-Up Club to get cracking on all that pollution in Angel Grove. The other rangers immediately volunteer to join the club.

Meanwhile, Rita is spying on them. Per usual. She decides to foil their recycling plans by creating and sending down the Polluticorn monster. It's a unicorn with claws that... pollutes. Really? On Power Rangers? Okay, he's kind of lame here, but we think he would be ten times more awesome as a Captain Planet monster. He would totally work there. Here, not so much.

We then see them all at the Youth Center later that day. They're wearing matching green shirts that say Clean-Up Club. Those got made awfully fast. Jason and Zack karate chop some cans and Billy is painting some recycle bins for the Juice Bar. Apparently nobody has ever recycled in Angel Grove before. Ever. Despite the last attempt at cleaning up pollution.

The kids all head to a park to do some clean up and it is absolutely TRASHED. I've never seen anything look that bad, even with horrible litter, unless a tornado just hit. Or it was my kids' bedroom. Either way, their park has NEVER looked this bad. Billy takes a soil sample and puts it in some solution in a test tube and it immediately turns green, which means the park is totally polluted. First of all, soil samples don't work that way. Second of all, SCIENCE does not work that way.

Lots of acrobatics ensue while the rangers clean up the gigantic mess, and all without wearing gloves. I shudder at the thought. Mostly it seems to be just paper lying about, so it fills up a bunch of trash bags, but doesn't take that long to clean. Billy then immediately tests the soil again (not how it works, Billy) and magically it comes out clean, all pollution gone. NOT HOW IT WORKS, SHOW!

Rita, however, interrupts. She sends down some putties and a really awesome fight scene takes place amidst the trash. Billy is really improving his fighting skills here. They also let David Yost show off his mad gymnastics skills and I am very impressed. I wish they'd let him show off like that more often. They do a pyramid of awesome and Kim and Trini tag team some putties. Then Jason has really nice arms. And a nice ass. But mostly nice arms.

Goldar and Scorpina head down with Polluticorn and the rangers morph. Jason has gotten really good at his "It's morphin time!" exclamations and we assume he's taken some lessons from Tommy. Tommy is good at getting Jason enthusiastic about things. They fight and then end up going back to the Command Center, where Zordon is running an analysis on the Polluticorn.

Billy is asked to decipher the results, calls Zordon "Sir", and then they waste a lot of paper. All for Billy to discover they need to cut off the Polluticorn's horn to stop him. So they morph and go fight him at a recycling plant. I have to wonder though... if there wasn't any recycling in Angel Grove before, why do they have a huge recycling plant? While I ponder these pressing questions, Jason goes to fight Polluticorn on his own while the others go after Goldar and Scorpina. It's a pretty impressive fight, actually.

Jason has to pull out the Shield of Cheap Bling and then Rita makes Polluticorn grow, lest Jason and his Shield of Cheap Bling stop him. They have the shortest Zord summoning sequence ever and then beat him with just the MegaZord. It's really pretty cool to see them beat a monster with just the MegaZord again. I missed it's awesomeness.

After the fight, back at the Youth Center, they watch Reporter Guy report on the latest monster attack. They sure do watch themselves a lot. Deciding it's time to get working, they go down and start adding to large stacks of papers, plastic bottles, and soda cans. Whomever thought it was a good idea to stack 500 soda cans needs to be smacked upside their head. We suspect it was Billy, as he's the only one stacking, but we can't be sure. This, of course, will not end well.

And right on cue, in walk Bulk and Skull. Skull is still filming Bulk, who's trying to appear helpful. Skull falls into the papers and bottles and Bulk, laughing, trips over a tire and knocks down the entire soda can tower. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

In school the following day, in the only class run by the only teacher, she very rudely tells Bulk it's his turn. Skull hands over the VHS tape (OMGwearesoOLD) and it's a video that makes Bulk look really really bad. Ms. Applebee, apparently gunning for the Worst Teacher of the Year award, laughs at them. Bulk then attempts to chase Skull out of the classroom but can't get out of his desk because he is, apparently, too fat. Everyone laughs some more. Way to go with the fat jokes, Power Rangers.

All in all, we give this episode only 1.5 fish. It's pretty consistent overall and the only real glaringly obvious problem with it is the science. Science does not work how Billy pretends it works.

Billy Speak: "I'm deeply concerned about the ecological ramifications of ozone depletion, acid rain, deforestation and the loss of our top soils."

"I'm using a special mixture of totally organic paint, pigmented with various natural substances."

"This kind of wanton disregard is so destructive to such a fragile ecosystem."

"My analysis shows that the Polluticorn derives its power from its horn."

Covered in food: nobody (though Bulk is covered in recycling and garbage bags, but not food)... we may have to retire this category soon.

Discussion question: Why was there a large recycling plant if nobody recycled before Trini started the Clean-Up Club? Also, if they only intend to recycle one day a week (as stated with the club), what do they do the rest of the time?