Episode 293- Countdown to Destruction Part 2

Today on Power Rangers, things are BLEAK. And then they are totally awesome.

So everybody has been captured and people are being led away and others are just kind of gathering together. Astronema comes down and informs them the rest of the universe has surrendered. She now rules EVERYTHING. She is seriously the BEST EVER at everything. The rangers aren't coming, they failed, and the rangers are hiding among them. She wants them by the following morning. Her ultimatum? It's the rangers or the whole planet is destroyed.

People actually argue this. Nobody knows who they are, but nobody knows why they aren't helping either. Then Bulk is AMAZING. He stands up and gives everybody hope... because the rangers have never let them down before. They'll be there. Bulk, how are you so awesome?

The rangers have gathered around a small file. They don't know what to do when Zhane comes stumbling up. He just barely escaped and he confirms the rest of the universe really did cave. They need a plan. Andros wants to go talk to Karone. The others try to talk him out of it, so he tries to sneak away instead. It's the only way to save everybody, even if it means losing himself and his own life. Ashley catches him, but decides to let him go. There is a tearful goodbye.

The following morning, Astronema accuses the rangers of sacrificing the whole planet because they didn't show up. She asks for the rangers one last time, but nobody will give them up. She's about to destroy everything when BULK STEPS UP AND SAYS HE'S THE BLUE RANGER! AND THEN SKULL IS THE BLACK RANGER! AND WE GET A PINK RANGER AND A SILVER RANGER AND YELLOW RANGER AND RED RANGER AND THEN EVERYBODY IS A RANGER AND OMG IT IS SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE THIS EPISODE! Citizens of Angel Grove, you win everything. Astronema is going to destroy them all, but the rangers stop her. Carlos, Cassie, Zhane, Ashley, and TJ stand on a wall, out themselves, and then morph in front of everyone. They will go down fighting before they let the Earth be destroyed. OH SHOW.

Bulk and Skull lead the charge of average humans into the fight, because they won't give up. It is the stuff of legend. Seriously.

Andros screws up some stuff on Astronema's ship in order to lock Ecliptor in a room and then goes to look for her, not knowing she's not there. He finds Zordon and they have a heart to heart. Evil has taken over everywhere. There is no way to stop it. Unless Andros shatters Zordon's tube, killing him in the process, but sending a wave of goodness across the universe and destroying all evil. Andros starts to, but can't bring himself to do it. It's a big sacrifice.

Astronema shows back up on her ship and confronts Andros. There is an epic fight. She is determined to kill him and he's determined to save his sister. She won't listen, though, or doesn't want to. The fight is seriously amazing. Andros has to deflect a blast back to her or die instead. She falls to the ground, unconscious, and he fears he's killed her. Ecliptor is PISSED. That's his little girl. Daddy won't stand by and let his little girl get hurt, so his anger fuels the fight. Ecliptor, you're such a good Daddy.

Zordon finally convinces Andros to destroy the tube. It's the only way. Zordon pulls the duty card and Andros finally does it. He shatters the tube. Zordon dies as a wave of goodness sweeps across the entire universe. The evil, including Ecliptor, turn to dust. Those with goodness in them turn human, including Rita and Zedd. Zedd asks Rita to dance, because they are still in love. Divatox turns human, back into Dimitria's sister. Unfortunately, the rangers powers leave them. They won the fight, Earth is saved, but the powers are gone.

They are sure Andros died up there, until Astronema's ship comes down to Earth. They think she's won, that they really did lose after all, until Andros comes walking out of the hatch. He's carrying his sister. Ashley is happy but dude, this is NOT the time for a joyous reunion. He killed Zordon. He thinks his sister is dead and he did it. ALL THE FEELINGS, SHOW!

He puts her down. He cries the fakest tears of magical healing ever and she wakes up as Karone, healed and happy and healthy and not the slightest bit evil. They won! They really won. Mind, Zordon is still dead, and it's really him that won it for everyone. But wow. Just... wow!

They head to KO-35 to help clean up a bit, restock the ship, take some supplies back to Earth. They are invited to stay, but they're homesick. They just want to be back on Earth. Andros decides to stay, however. It IS his home, after all, and it's not fair to ask him to give that up right after he gets it back (Ashley, I'm looking at you Little Ms. Guilt Trip).

He falls for it, though, and he and Zhane board the ship at the last minute to go to Earth with them. Earth is going to be a little crazy with the celebrity hero worship thing, guys. You might have should have stayed on KO-35 for awhile.

Guys, THIS is how you do a finale. BEST FINALE EVER. No series has managed to live up to it since.

1 fish. BEST EPISODE EVER IN EXISTENCE.

Season 6 Roundup

Highlights!
EPIC FINALE IS EPIC.
Bulk and Skull are big damn heroes!
Carlos' arms.
Ashley and Carlos went on a date!!!!
Astronema/Karone's entire arc. THAT is how you do things.
Psycho Rangers.
TJ is the smartest.
Alpha/DECA.
Future Ranger!Silvy
ALWAYS A CHANCE HOW IS THAT EPISODE SO GREAT.
Justin was pretty awesome when he came back.
Astronema/Zhane.
Ashley/Astronema bodyswap.
Andros' emo

Lowlights!
Andros/Ashley. (Okay, really, the destruction of Ashley/Carlos. BITTER SHIPPER IS BITTER.)
Zhane managed to make us create a "worse than Tommy" tag. Um.
Seymour.
Andros' emo.
Andros' stupid toy battlizer thing.
Really stupid extra toys.
What a waste of an amnesia plot.
And a waste of a "turns things evil" plot.
The whole blackmailed into dating people episode.
TURTLES.


We start Lost Galaxy on Wednesday! The Zordon era is over, and we're moving on! (Queenriley has not seen Lost Galaxy at all, and I've only seen the episodes once. Should be interesting!)

Episode 292 - Countdown to Destruction

OH MY GOD, IT IS FINALE TIME.

So we start with Dark Specter telling Astronema that it is time for the FINAL BATTLE. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT? Astronema is talking to a giant army about how there will only be evil left and SERIOUSLY, EPIC. We get to see ALL THE OLD VILLAINS. The Machine Empire is there (and wow, I missed them) and then we see the forces of Divatox fighting the Aquitian Rangers (and where is Billy?) and Astronema yelling at Rita and Zedd (and they both sass her until Dark Specter's name is dropped) and HOW SO GREAT, SHOW. HOW SO GREAT.

Astronema talks to Zordon, and is all "mwahaha, running out of energy" and Zordon tells her she won't get away with it. We see another flash of Phantom and Blue Senturian being overrun by the Machine Empire and then Rita and Zedd and their putties and a TON of old monsters fighting on Triforia and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A FINALE.

Even KO-35 (with Zhane back there) is again being destroyed. Zhane heads to Earth to find more Rangers to help, but of course he's attacked on his way back to Earth. Luckily for him, the Astro Megaship shows up to save the day at the last minute.

Andros and the others tell Zhane that it's not just the KO-35 rebels, it's ALL OVER the universe. Apparently there's a whole galaxy that has no defenses at all? Really? And of course, Earth is under attack. I wish they'd managed to bring back some old Rangers for this, because you KNOW that they were busy fighting during it. (I choose to believe that it happened and we just didn't get to see them.)

And I mean, seeing the GIANT ARMY of fighters show up in the sky is freaking amazing. Again, this is the finale that I judge all other finales by. Because WOW.

From space we can see that it isn't just Angel Grove - all over it being attacked, although it looks like things are concentrated in Angel Grove, of course. We're surprised that the rest of the world hasn't abandoned Angel Grove by now.

There's a decent space battle as they get ready to land, and Zhane offers to handle the space battle part as the Rangers fight on Earth. We get to see a LOT of buildings get destroyed, including some familiar sights.

Even still, the Rangers are TOTALLY OVERWHELMED. There are just SO MANY of them. They keep trying to evacuate people as they go, but like, where are they supposed to evacuate them to?

Andros goes all Battlizer in his ugly toy, and blows up a ton of stuff. Until Eclitpor knocks over his ugly toy, and Ashley and Andros get forcibly demorphed by Ecliptor and Darkonda. Once their powers fail, they run away.

Zhane isn't having much luck either, and then for some reason he just LEAVES THE MEGASHIP to launch his own zord? I guess Alpha is piloting the Megaship? He does get to smash a bunch of fighters with his fists though, and that's pretty cool. Of course, there are so many fighters that he falls over. Bad plan, Zhane!

the remaining Rangers also get demorphed and ugh, Carlos's arms. SO NICE. TJ calls for a retreat and they get chased by a bunch of Quantrons. The Rangers are all pretty beaten up, with Carlos trying to carry Cassie.

The citizens of Angel Grove appear to have been captured and are being escorted somewhere by Quantrons, and the Rangers (minus Zhane) all regroup. Darkonda is all pissed because he only has one life left, and then he launches his own ship to do something.

Astronema is talking to Dark Specter, when Darkonda attacks Dark Specter and BLOWS HIM UP, although Darkonda is destroyed (by Dark Specter) in the process. The forces of good would like to thank you, Darkonda, for doing everyone a favor.

Alpha contacts the Rangers to let them know that Dark Specter has been destroyed, and Ecliptor tells the universe that now Astronema is in charge. Divatox is SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT. I love her. And then the whole universe bows to Astronema.

A little kid is told by his mother that they shouldn't worry, the Rangers will save them. Zordon tries to get through to Astronema, now that her programming should be failing, but her programming reasserts itself. At least Zordon's power is no longer being drained?

And just as Astronema gives the order to invade for real, we get the to be continued. THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS, SHOW.

Fish: 1.5 THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS.

Questions/fic we want: So, the other Rangers are doing WHAT during all this?

Episode 291- A Line In The Sand

So we knew, the minute we started this whole thing, that there would be some episodes that one or the other of us would be recapping, no questions asked, no matter what. Sometimes because it's an episode we love so very very much (like TSB gets all the Adam episodes, but Billy was mine), and sometimes because it's something the other hates so much they can't bear to recap it. This is the latter. I knew I would do this episode because it's the Andros/Ashley date episode. TSB hates them. I am ambivalent. So to save you from a capslocked recap of NO NO NO BAD, you'll get my rather lackluster "and the point of that was?"

We start the episode out with Andros and Ashley on a date. They walk hand in hand and have fancy leather jackets that apparently Andros just bought for Ashley and there are compliments and romance. Then Tiny Children let them play hopscotch and it's ADORABLE. Although why Tiny Children are out playing on the street in the dark clearly at night, I don't know. My kids would be in bed sleeping by that time, yo.

But then! Oh noes! A big SUV tries to run them over. On the sidewalk. And then they run away, round a corner, and decide to look for the SUV behind some boxes... because SUVs are often found hiding behind cardboard boxes. I have no clue what's going on. Hopefully they'll explain it (but I'm not holding my breath). The SUV drives off at 88 miles per hour. My theory is the SUV only acts this way because it read the script, realized it made no sense, argued with the writers, caved and did it's job anyway, and then never worked in the entertainment industry again. Poor SUV. It tried to make sense of this episode.

Back on the Megaship, Cassie tries to convince them it was just a crazy driver. Carlos is off having really nice arms while playing soccer instead of being concerned for them, and I definitely approve. We needed far more Carlos-plays-soccer this season than we actually got. He wanders off to get a wayward ball and then he gets sucked into a vortex by the big SUV. Clearly he's concerned about this SUV thing now. Somehow the rest of the team totally doesn't care that he vanished into the trees and never returned. And I thought the rangers were bad friends!

The SUV then comes for Cassie and TJ. There is morphed fighting the SUV (which kind of looks like half a Hummer? I don't know) and it's RIDICULOUS. Like, incredibly ridiculous. The vehicle is clearly trying to kill them and they just run from it instead of, I don't know, teleporting away. They get sucked into the red vortex and meet up with Carlos who explains the situation and lack of sense of this plot.

Apparently the car is named Tankenstein. Astronema hired it to capture the rangers. Clearly Andros and Ashley should be contacting Justin to come save them, but instead they go off to fight it on their own. In Ashley's car from Turbo (seriously show? You choose THIS episode to go with the whole continuity thing? Well okay, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth). There is more ridiculous morphed fighting with the SUV. Andros even has to call out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit to beat the darn thing. And they still manage to get sucked into the stupid vortex. Now all five of them are trapped on some weird desert world.

The Cocky Badass comes to the rescue AGAIN. There is no explanation of how he got there, how he knew where they were, where he came from, how he knew what was going on, why he knew to fight the SUV. He just comes in and does it because he's a Cocky Badass. Seriously, he's worse than Tommy.

There is a zord fight. They win. It's boring, until the big SUV manages to blow up MORE TOYS (dude, WORSE THAN TOMMY, guys... that's not a good thing!). All they have left is the Astro Megaship. They're all dirty and smoking and damaged, except for Cocky Badass, who is perfectly coiffed.

4.5 fish. The only thing saving this episode was Carlos and his pretty pretty arms playing soccer.

Episode 289 - Ghosts in the Machine

We're BACK. I've missed recapping so much, you all have no idea.

So apparently all the missing people from the last episode (remember that one?) are on a cruise ship? I thought they were in an alternate dimension? Maybe I've just forgotten things from last time. Anyway, the cruise ship is completely abandoned. Except apparently people were on the cruise ship and eating some fairly nice food? I have no idea, seriously, show. Why were the prisoners being held on a nice cruise ship? Why have they all left now? If Astronema wants to take me prisoner and put me on a cruise, I would be totally in favor of that. Free cruise!

Back on the ship, Carlos is still stressed about Silvy, and he and Andros continue searching.

Except now the prisoners aren't on a cruise ship, they're in an underwater city, and Astronema of Borg and her minions are turning Bulk, Skull and the Professor into datacards? I seem to remember this making more sense.

Were they on the cruise ship at all? Why does Astronema want them to be datacards anyway? How is she going to use them? Was the city on the ship? Why does Carlos only care about Silvy? Like, half of Angel Grove is missing.

Andros's big plan once they somehow figure out that the city is under the sea is that they'll tunnel under the city? What. I don't know.

The ghosts of the Psychos follow them around and they're very sulky about it. The Rangers make a big deal about not being detected, and then they pretty instantly get discovered. But there's a fairly decent fight scene, so I'm cool with that.

Astronema claims that their getting into the city was part of her plan all along. Which... I might buy, because Cassie instantly pushes Andros out of the way of the machine thing and she's slowly and apparently painfully turned into a datacard. She gives a last minute plea to Astronema about how they're friends, but Astronema is all "nope, I have none" and Andros is unable to destroy the datalaser because it will destroy Cassie as well. The other Rangers are all dataformed a lot faster.

The psychos take advantage of the machine to somehow turn themselves back into physical form. I guess they're also data? The fish are really strong with this one. I guess it's because they're under the sea and all.

The Psychos steal the datacards back, and then they fight Ecliptor and blast him repeatedly. Because the Psychos want their own revenge they turn the Rangers back into physical form. Really, Emily Thorne is way better at this revenge thing then they are. There's some more fighting over who gets to destroy the Rangers, and then some more fighting. The Rangers appear to be doing better at fighting the Psychos.

Even though Zhane wasn't with them when they went to the city, he shows up anyway to fight Ecliptor? He finds all the datacards (still not sure what Astronema wanted them for anyway) and then turns people back to normal. (There are far less people then there were cards, for the record).

The Rangers lure all the Psychos to the control room and turn them into datacards. Due to stuff blowing up, the Rangers have to teleport out without the Psychos datacards. This is the end of them. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

They briefly try to convince us that Zhane is hurt, but nobody is buying that. It wasn't even a convincing fake out. And then we find out that of COURSE Astronema still has the datacards.

There was not enough of awesome future ranger Silvy in this episode :(

Fish: FIVE. SO MANY FISH.

Questions: Why did it take so long to transform Cassie compared to everyone else? Seriously, why did Astronema want datacards anwyay? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE?

Episode 290- The Impenetrable Web

Today on Power Rangers, we should have a whole season about Alpha being super awesome. Just saying.

So we start off with Alpha playing three dimensional chess against DECA. Alpha totally wins, but it's super adorable and I now ship Alpha/DECA. Alpha/Ship? YES PLEASE. They intercept a distress signal and immediately rush off to go help.

It's a trap! Because Astronema is there and she has created a web to ensnare the rangers. It's all green and web-like. They are down on the planet when the Megaship gets caught so they somehow lose all their powers? I don't get it, but whatever. Alpha tries to shoot his way out, but it doesn't work. Astronema sends Darkonda down to get the rangers and Ecliptor over to take control of the Megaship. He overpowers Alpha easily, but not before Alpha manages to enable some security measures.

Alpha escapes and hides, with the help of DECA. Because they are AI IN LOVE. It's so cute. I love them so!

Darkonda is boring and gives a bunch of orders and looks for the rangers. There is fighting and it's not at all amusing or interesting. Let's ignore him and get back to Ecliptor, shall we? I really like him. He tries to order DECA around and she's having none of it. Alpha pulls a Home Alone and drops balls on the floor. It's great. Ecliptor is going to reprogram the ship, but Alpha opens the doors to suck him out into space instead. Because clearly Alpha is a genius. It doesn't work, but it was a totally good idea!

Ecliptor heads off to destroy the MegaVoyager instead. Meanwhile, Darkonda has the rangers captured. Cocky Badass Zhane comes to the rescue AGAIN and he is somehow magically not affected by this electronic net because he's still morphed and has all his toys. The fish must REALLY like him. Whatever. He's boring, too. I want more Alpha and DECA versus Ecliptor!

Zhane takes his shiny toys and goes to the MegaVoyager to stop Ecliptor from destroying it. Ecliptor is now red? I don't get it, but okay. There is a boring fight where Zhane momentarily gets his ass handed to him. Andros pulls out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit and goes to break through the web so everybody can morph. He somehow manages it? I don't get it. The fish must have finally broken the net for him. Everybody morphs and pull out all the toys and go fight Red Ecliptor with Zhane. This is boring. This episode should have more Alpha and DECA being badass. Ecliptor apparently uses all his extra power and instead of using the MegaZords to step on him and squish him while he's weak, the rangers go and fight hand to hand instead (and somehow manage to turn him green/black again). I did say this fight made no sense, right?

Ecliptor managed to screw up a lot of shit, though. They've lost most of the toys at this point. Astronema is really happy about this and she totally has a plan.

4.5 fish because seriously, ALLLLLL the fighting (that made no sense). The only thing saving this from a full 5 is how amazingly wonderful Alpha and DECA are.

Episode 287- Andros and the Stowaway

So we start the episode with a tiny alien that is running from a bigger alien. It mostly looks like Bigger Alien is just playing a game with Tiny Alien, but whatever. They are the fakest aliens I have ever seen. Andros comes across Tiny Alien. He determines Tiny Alien is afraid, scares him out of a tree, and catches him on the way down. Bigger Alien introduces himself, accuses Andros of stealing, and fights ensue. Andros grabs Tiny Alien and the big alien runs away. Andros ensures his safety and the leaves the CLEARLY A BABY to his own devices. Tiny Baby Alien runs after Andros, however.

It sneaks it's way onto the MegaShip and scares Ashley. It's not a very good stowaway. Stowaways are supposed to hide, but whatever. Ashely names him Seymour. Somehow Seymour speaks English and ends up eating ALL THE THINGS. This, of course, gives him a stomach ache. Andros sits by his side all night. DAWWWWW.

Big Alien goes to Astronema to get his Tiny Alien back. He will agree to turn the Power Rangers to stone if she can help him get Tiny Alien back

Andros wakes up at the hospital bed to discover Tiny Alien Seymour is not so tiny any longer. He's as big as Andros now. Bigger Alien has gone down to Angel Grove to draw the rangers to him. Bigger Alien demands Seymour be given back. Ashley notices a resemblance between the two, but everybody ignores her. There is lots of fighting, which Seymour sees.

Back on the ship, Andros is looking for Seymour, but he's nowhere to be found. He's gone down to Earth because he made a mistake. The rangers are his friends now and he knows they're in trouble with Bigger Alien because of him. Bigger Alien finds him, compliments him on how much he's grown, and says Seymour is going with him. Andros comes by in the nick of time and take Seymour away with him. He tries to reassure Seymour and brings him a cookie, which Seymour splits. DAWWWW.

Except then Andros and Bigger Alien have to fight again because he's not going away without Seymour. The other rangers show up and there is a clearly-Sentai-footage battle to be fought. Bigger Alien manages to get a shot in at Andros' feet, turning them to stone, and Seymour steps in to help. Bigger Alien catches him and puts him in a pocket. The Rangers won't leave Seymour, though, and convince him he's strong and can fight the Bigger Alien. Boring battle ensues and this is really about the dumbest episode I think I've ever seen on Power Rangers. Which is saying something, because we did make it through the entirety of Turbo.

They win. Seymour is free to go so they take him home. He meets a girl. IT'S REALLY DUMB, OKAY? I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER ALREADY. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BLEACH FOR MY BRAIN TO ERASE THIS STUPID THING.

5 fish. OMG IT WAS SO BAD.

Episode 286- The Enemy Within

So today, Dark Specter is running out of time. Astronema's plan is working BEAUTIFULLY. She is so awesome.

The Rangers are still trying to find the MegaVoyager. They aren't having much luck. Meanwhile, the Psychos are starting to rebel against Astronema. They want to destroy the rangers and she won't let them yet. The Rangers think they found something and Zhane convinces them it's a trap and he should go in alone. He's such a cocky badass. He's right though. It's totally a trap. Luckily the others listened to him and are sneaking in the back.

The Psychos are kind of dumb, for a change, and don't bother to COUNT the rangers. One ranger controlling one zord. The other five are sneaking in and getting their zords back. Mind, Zhane might be cocky, but he's not that brilliant either because he didn't count the Psychos. Yellow isn't fighting. She's waiting by the zords. Because she booby trapped them and now they won't work for the rangers. DUH. They manage to get them back and combine ("and the penis goes through the hole") only to have Psycho Yellow take control of the zords.

Zhane is caught in his zord and tied up. Again. Yay for more bondage! The rangers are about to get their asses handed to them when Ecliptor pulls Psycho Red back. They have an epic battle (is it possible for Ecliptor to have a battle that isn't epic? I don't think it is). Ecliptor hands him his ass instead, before he runs away and goes back to the ranger battle. He pulls Andros out and they fight. On a tranquil countryside by a small lake with some waterfalls. It's really quite pretty. The fight is kind of boring though. Andros wins, just barely, with the help of Alpha and the Megaship. They break the hold of the virus and Psycho Yellow loses control, letting the rangers have their zords back.

Psycho Red tries to beat them, but Psycho Black stops him. There is infighting. Psycho Red ruins the whole plan. They set Zhane free, unfortunately. He's much better when he's tied up. There is something about energy and absorbing and turning it back on the Psychos and then they destroy the other three psychos and... what the fuck? This is freaking RIDICULOUS. Like, I have no clue what's going on. TSB and I remember this story arch being MUCH better than this.

Astronema nearly had Dark Specter destroyed. She's on her own side, though, and she's still determined to take out everybody and rule everything. Andros, meanwhile, is going to bed when he sees a shadow. Psycho Red is on the ship... except it's not Psycho Red. It's Zhane. In a suit. Who got the shit beaten out of him by Andros for scaring him. Oh Zhane. Not funny.

5 fish. This was just... bad.

Episode 285 - Silence is Golden

The episode begins with Andros and TJ crossing the Blue Psycho off the big board. I love big boards! They're so much fun. Andros is worried that this is the calm before the storm or something. Back on Earth, Cassie is shopping. This just makes me really want to write the fic where Kim takes all the Pink Rangers shopping. Poor Cassie has allergies, which is sad. :(

Meanwhile, the Psychos are memorizing the Rangers' voices. Astronema tells them not to kill the Rangers, but to capture them instead, no matter how much energy it takes. Ecliptor tells her that its risky, but she's sure that her awesomeness will carry through. I approve!

Seriously, if Astronema would just carry out her own plans instead of delegating, she'd have conquered Earth already.

The Psychos go down to Earth and turn into humans and they start scanning around Angel Grove, listening for the Rangers' voices. Psycho Red is pretty hot. WE ARE SO OLD. This is the days before cell phones, so Ashley is using a pay phone. She's talking about getting a gift for her dad. Psycho Yellow immediately goes after Ashley, but instead gets the woman in the phone booth after her. I am really not sure how they got there after Ashley had left the booth. They seemed to be moving fairly quickly. Ashley hears the woman scream, and then overhears the Psychos explain about the voices. Ashley heads back to the Megaship, leaving Cassie behind, and they have to figure out how to contact Cassie.

If they could text, this would not be an issue. Instead, we get a pager. Awww, pagers. I seriously feel so old. SO OLD.

Apparently Cassie can't talk, can't use her communicator, and can't morph. Okay, so now I have questions. How do they usually get back to the ship? I'm guessing it's not teleporters. Do they morph and take the Galaxy Gliders? RIDICULOUS. Why can't she go morph in a corner and instantly get out of there? THEY CAN USUALLY DO THAT.

So Cassie is put into situations where she has to talk. She avoids thanking a guy for getting her bags when she forgets them, and she gives a cranky old guy a flower when he demands an apology for her bumping into him. But then she sees a baby carriage nearly get knocked down some stairs so she screams. The baby is saved, but the Psychos are being creepy and corner Cassie.

Then a poorly disguised Zhane clown shows up. What the fuck. He rounds the corner and then suddenly the Psychos hear Cassie's voice and they chase after it. Cassie runs into the rest of the Rangers, and they morph and fight the Psychos and SERIOUSLY, I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION. I'm guessing recordings of Cassie's voice taped from somewhere?

The three psychos turn into even more monstrous forms, because apparently this ridiculousness is what they actually look like, and THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THE WORLD. Then the Psychos grow and I am not giving a shit at this point. The three Psychos are beating up the Megazord so Zhane shows up with another toy.

They thought they'd destroyed the Psychos, but apparently not. Instead, the Psychos try to drag them into a vortex or something. The Rangers are all "We need to abandon ship!" but Andros is pulling a Tommy and is all "WE DO NOT ABANDON OUR ZORDS." Luckily, Adam has clearly warned Carlos about this, because Carlos hits Andros and makes him leave. They escape just as the MegaVoyager gets dragged... somewhere.

Dark Spectre whines to Astronema about his missing powers, and she promises that she's looking into it. Also, Astronema of Borg has hidden the Megazord somewhere, and she starts to tell the Psychos her grand plan.

Fish: FIVE. SPACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Episode 284 - Five of a Kind

So we open with Dark Spectre being all "Astronema, go be HBIC and attack Earth." That is totally the best way to start an episode.

The Rangers break out the awesome chess set again, and take off the Psycho Pink. Then TJ is all "WAIT. I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT." He realizes that if they keep fighting same colors, they are screwed. Just mix up the colors! Because TJ is brilliant and proving how he is an awesome blue, and doing the strategy thing. GO TJ. This is why he was such an awesome Red Ranger.

So an alarm goes off and they head to fight the Psycho Rangers, with their plan to switch colors on them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the Psychos from still going after their counterparts, and soon the battle goes back to color vs color. Then Zhane shows up, late as always. Is this a sixth ranger thing or something?

Psycho Blue scores a lucky hit on TJ, who goes down hard, and it's only Zhane showing up at the last minute that prevents him from getting his head chopped off.

Luckily for TJ, Dark Spectre is all "SOMEONE IS DRAINING MY POWERS NOW" so Astronema has to pull the Psychos back.

TJ wakes up in the med lab, and damn, nice arms. TJ is very sad that his plan didn't work, but everyone is like "YOU STAY IN THE MED LAB. YOU ARE HURT." Also, Cassie looks very worried about him, hovering over his bed, and I ship them so hard.

The Psychos are arguing about why they got pulled back, and they're planning on going after the Rangers with or without Astronema. She is so pleased by this.

CASSIE BRINGS TJ BREAKFAST IN BED AND THERE IS A FLOWER. SHIP THEM SHIP THEM SHIP THEM. ALL THE HURT/COMFORT. ALL OF IT.

Except TJ isn't in bed, he's busy watching the battle to figure out new strategies. Except on the recording, the color suddenly goes out, and TJ comes up with ANOTHER new plan, because he is brilliant. He spraypaints all the pieces on the chess board blue, so they won't know their true colors.

OH MY GOD HE HAS NICE ARMS. Those jackets hide them. BUT DAMN, NICE ARMS.

So all the Rangers go down disguised as blue rangers, and I wonder how they managed to make all their costumes blue. And it's not like they disguise the voices. And with color theory and all, I wonder if the others are uncomfortable wearing blue. And like, how did the girls ditch the skirts? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Yellow Psycho is like "whatever, I'm not even trying. I'll wait until they're done."

Then Silver Psycho appears or something, and he attacks the Rangers, and the Psychos are SO ANNOYED with that. So they attack Psycho Silver, and then Psycho Blue blasts Psychos Red and Black in the back.

Psycho Silver is revealed as Zhane, and the five blue rangers all assemble and Zhane and TJ blast Psycho Blue. Why is Zhane getting to be all awesome? This is TJ's moment of glory! So Psycho Blue gets to grow and the toys show up to battle. And then it's snowing or something? Are they still in California? Why so cold?

(SERIOUSLY, WHY SO COLD. I hate cold.) (QR is mocking me, she loves the cold. She's also wrong.)

Apparently Psycho Blue is trying to freeze them, so they just turn up the heat and the ice melts off the zord, and could I get that system, because SO COLD. I am going to freeze when I go home to NY for two weeks.

So they destroy blue and call Zhane a Psycho and Astronema is like "pfft, one is enough to destroy the Rangers." Astronema threatens the Psychos and is all "Here is the plan" and they are so terrified of her. So great.

The Rangers are all prepping for battle and doing something technical. Whatever it is, it should be awesome.

Andros is busy having a sad about Karone. Look, she's all Of Borg at the moment. And he's being emo. If QR was doing this recap, she'd be a lot more sympathetic. But I am not.

Fish: 2! TJ has a plan! He is great!

Fic we want: TJ is so badass. TJ/Cassie! Lasting effects of wearing the wrong color!

Episode 283- A Rift in the Rangers

Today on Power Rangers, I get some frustration out that I was previously unaware I'd been keeping pent up inside. Thanks, Power Rangers. I feel better now.

So we start off on the MegaShip. Today is "address the mundane" day, apparently. Cassie is studiously cleaning ALL THE THINGS. Andros and Ashley are sitting around eating and Andros gets up, and LEAVES HIS PLATE and all his crumbs everywhere. He is seriously a messy eater. Ashley then asks if Cassie has washed her sheets yet. Seriously Ashley? You ask if CASSIE has washed YOUR sheets?? She then leaves HER plate as well. Apparently Cassie is supposed to do it all herself. AND SHE IS ANGRY ABOUT THIS, RIGHTFULLY SO. Ashley points out that things get dirty again and then you just have to clean them again so what's the point, but YES THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK AND NO THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO JUST NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. Cassie shouldn't be responsible for everything.

Carlos and TJ see this argument and stupidly attempt to break it up. TJ points out they agreed to divide the duties, except nobody but Cassie seems to realize that nobody else is doing their fair share. She's mopping and sweeping and cleaning up the table and the dishes and doing all the laundry and WHAT THE HELL ARE THE BOYS DOING? Seriously, a penis does not automatically exempt you from cleaning. And ASHLEY! You are adult. DO YOUR OWN DAMN LAUNDRY.

Meanwhile, Dark Specter lectures Astronema on time and all I can think about is how he doesn't have time to argue about the time. Psycho Yellow has a plan to destroy the rangers. Astronema is willing to listen, but she doesn't want to destroy them just yet. Instead, Yellow teams up with Pink.

Cassie is still cleaning. Andros asks her to check computer functions. Cassie points out that Ashley is supposed to do that, and she was supposed to mop. She mopped. Ashley didn't do her thing. TJ forcibly sits them down to lecture. He makes them talk about it. Cassie complains about doing all the cleaning and then TJ says they're acting like 2 year old tiny children (except even at 2, my kids knew how to help clean up after themselves). Except Cassie has a legitimate complaint! They all make messes, they should all clean it up. But TJ is determined to solve ALL THE PROBLEMS... which I adore about him.

So they have to stop because there is a fight to be had on Earth, of course, and Psycho Pink is kicking butt. Psycho Yellow is just biding time until the rangers are tired. TJ gets hurt, Cassie blames herself, then tries to protect them. Psycho Yellow uses the distraction to capture Ashley. Cassie blames herself again and is terribly distraught. Honey, none of this is your fault!

Meanwhile, Psycho Yellow is attempting to take the rest of Ashley's powers, but she's going to fight to the very end. Psycho Pink stops her, though, because this was not the game plan. They argue and fight and Ashley begins to see how not good the infighting is. She manages to escape.

Cassie is beating herself up over the argument and losing Ashley, but I still say Cassie was in the right. It's not petty to expect other residents of a place to help clean it. It's just not. It shouldn't all fall to Cassie just because she's a girl or actually does it. ALL the others need to chip in, not just Ashley! It's not hard to clean up after yourself, and if everybody cleans their own messes, the whole place will remain clean and not put undue burden on just one individual. Cassie really ought to be yelling at Carlos, Andros, and TJ as well. They are not allergic to cleaning! There is nothing in the Y chromosome that makes it impossible for boys to clean.

The Psychos almost get Ashley back, but Cassie comes to save her. They bond and make up. It's adorable. Then they kick ass and beat Psycho Pink on their own! Because they are awesome. She grows, using lots of Dark Specter's energy (which makes Astronema very happy), and they have to call out all the toys. But they still basically took her down on their own. Zhane has to come in and be a cocky badass to save the day, because apparently that is Zhane's only role in this show. Psycho Pink is destroyed and now the Psycho rangers are down one. Astronema is not happy.

Back on the MegaShip, everybody finishes up a meal. They all get up to leave and EVERYBODY LEAVES THEIR PLATES. AGAIN. Damn people, just take your freaking plate back to the replicator. This isn't even difficult or time consuming. IT'S EASY. Ashley goes to clean up, and then Cassie tells her it's still her job this week and she doesn't need Ashley's help. AND THEN TJ IS A BADASS AND NEEDS TO TEACH EVERYBODY EVER BECAUSE HE TELLS THE GIRLS TO STOP BECAUSE THE BOYS WILL DO THEIR SHARE AND CLEAN THE MESS. Andros and Carlos aren't happy about it, but TJ is all "Be a man and clean some damn dishes, it won't kill you". Oh TJ. You volunteered to clean. I am SWOONING (seriously, that's about all it takes for me).

4 fish, mostly because Cassie had a valid point most everybody else ignored and she really should have been yelling at ALL of them, not just Ashley.

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 281 - Rangers Gone Psycho

Today on Power Rangers,

So we start off with a battle. There is screaming. And a weird owl monster thing. It's... not pretty. Nor is it exciting. Nor does it bode well for this episode. They win, of course.

Back on the ship, Andros has a sad. He can't stop staring at his locket. Because he misses his sister. Again. He flash backs to talking to her about missing her, and getting to know her, and how they have all the time in the world. Except they don't because she's evil again. Poor Andros. Ashley manages to talk him into taking a break back on Earth. Adelle gives them heaps of food, but Carlos is awesome and remembers to say "thank you".

They overhear a girl playing with her little electronic organizer. It sounds just like the communicators and all I could think was how super awesome it was at the time, and how super clunky and huge it looks compared to today's tech. Then they get distracted by a news report. There was an attack at a building and the news reporter sees the rangers, and asks them what happened. Except it's not the rangers! They attack the reporter.

The real rangers end up on the scene and there is an epic battle of ranger vs ranger. This is super awesome! The Psycho Rangers are GOOD. It is one amazing battle. They end up wearing really cool armour before introducing themselves. Faster, stronger, BETTER. And EVIL. It's super intense.

Zhane does not have a psycho ranger equivalent, though, and rushes in just in time to save them. The Psycho Rangers vanish, but not before taking some energy from the real rangers. Astronema is sure this is the only way to beat the real rangers. This is actually a really good plan of hers.

The real rangers can't figure out what's going on. They don't know who the psycho rangers are, where they came from, how to find them. They don't know how to beat them. And it's really clearly bothering them.

The Psycho Rangers are taken in by the sound of the little address storage device. They keep attacking humans to no avail. The real rangers can't figure out why random people are being attacked. Luckily Zhane is still on Earth. Or not so luckily, because the Psycho Rangers find him and capture him. Oh Zhane, you're so pretty when you're tied up.

They've taken him to the old library (apparently there is a new one?) and it's a total disaster. Seriously. Wouldn't they have moved all that stuff to the new library? Anyway, Zhane is still tied up and is very pretty. The real rangers can't get through a force field, though, and aren't allowed to morph. So Andros comes up with a plan, because he has to get his boyfriend back. He uses a remote controlled car to distract them and they fall for it (running like I don't even know what... who the heck pulls their knees up to their chest while running?). The rangers get in and rush to Zhane. Who is delightfully tied up! There should be more Zhane and bondage in this show.

There is a big battle between the rangers and the psycho rangers, because of course they knew the rangers were there. They're evil, not stupid! Though I can see how it would be easy to make that mistake in this show...

The battle is once again epic but the psycho's get called back before they can completely destroy the rangers. But not before there is MAJOR damage to the rangers. Zhane escapes just in time to SEE THEM FALL. Like, hardcore fall. So he rushes to Andros (boyfriends!) and helps them back to the ship.

Astronema has the BEST PLAN EVER. She is going to use the psycho rangers to drain the power from Dark Spectre while they simultaneously destroy the power rangers. This will leave her free to be in charge of everything. SHE IS FREAKING BRILLIANT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING.

Episode 280 - Dark Specter's Revenge - Part 2

WE LIVE. I handed in my thesis, so now we will have the time of GREAT PANIC while I wait on results.

So we continue with the Megazords trying to push an asteroid out of the way while people on Earth panic. Just as it's entering Earth's atmosphere Zhane shows up with another Zord and somehow that is enough to get it out of the atmosphere without the asteroid breaking up at all (wtf is this thing made of, anyway?) and they push it back into space and whatever, I am not going to argue with the science, but I wonder what the Bad Astronomer would have to say about that.

Zhane gets all the hugs, and he tells them that the rebels built the ship. The Rangers fill Zhane in on the whole Astronema = Karone thing, and Zhane is all "I knew there was something good about her!" and offers to go with Andros to find her, saying he has an interest in Karone as well. You can clearly see the "oh shit, I've got a thing for my boyfriend's sister" on Zhane's face, and also Andros is concerned when Zhane says he has an interest.

Zhane and Andros follow a solitary tie fighter to a space station, and Andros and Zhane continue the "you went on a date with my sister!" "JUST ONE DATE?" thing and AHAHAH awesome, but boys, this is SO NOT THE TIME to figure out your poly relationships.

So the boys steal some Quantrons uniforms, and they're a little short to be storm troopers, and really, show, you're making this too easy.

They find Astronema and take off the helmet, only to find that she's been all Borgified, and she calls Ecliptor to attack them. There's a pretty great fight, and there's no way they're going to win and escape with Astronema, so they end up retreating, leaving her in her brainwashed and Borgified state.

This is pretty epic, seriously.

They end up stealing some velocifighters to escape, and they make it back to the Megaship, and Andros has the biggest sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull and the Professor had some hijinks where they thought they made it to another planet, but nope, still on Earth. Oh, and then they get attacked by a monster. Luckily, there are Power Rangers to the rescue. Including Zhane in his new toy.

Hey, points for a very bondagey fight.

And then the Rangers give Bulk, Skull, and the Professor a ride on their galaxy gliders. ADORABLE.

Meanwhile, the Borg Princess kicks Darkonda out. And Andros, and Zhane are trying to figure out how to fix Astronema. DUN DUN DUN.

Fish: 2! The science is a little screwy, but EPIC IS EPIC.

Episode 279 - Dark Spectre's Revenge Part 1

Welcome back, dear readers! We've missed you and this blog!

Today on Power Rangers, Astronema is being a Good Girl and Andros is showing her around the ship. Andros shows her the replicator synthetron. He pulls out a plate of the weirdest combination of food and she is totally not hungry.

Which is good because she gets called to the bridge (they call her Karone!), and the others are all standing there looking stern, then they pull a Scrooge and make her an honorary Power Ranger. DAW!

Meanwhile, Ecliptor is having a Terrible Horribly No Good Very Bad Day, what with being assaulted and strapped down to a torture bench (bondage pron!). Darkonda is freaking TERRIFYING. I would not want to be kidnapped by that guy. He reports to Dark Spectre and is totally ready to go get Astronema back from the rangers.

Back on the MegaShip, Karone has rid herself of the awesome coloured hair and is now just regular, blonde, shy Karone in her Ranger jumpsuit. She's cute, but I miss the hair.

And we're back on Earth with Bulk and Skull! They're roasting marshmallows! I LOVE THEM SO! The Professor is stargazing and sees an asteroid and Bulk and Skull assume excitement. Except this is a huge asteroid and it's going to destroy the entire Earth. I think I've seen this movie a few times.

The MegaShip ends up on a collision course with the asteroid. Everyone lurches to the right on cue. Dark Spectre is totally driving that asteroid and demands Astronema be returned. Andros says the first intelligent thing in a long time and says Karone doesn't belong to anybody. DAMN STRAIGHT! They decide to go blow up the super big asteroid. Tiny lasers don't do much damage to it (OMG ACTUAL SCIENCE IN THIS SHOW?!?!?!?! BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!). Darn, where's Bruce Willis (I'd be happy with Morgan Freeman as President as well) when you need him?

TJ is given the explosives to destroy the asteroid while Andros holds back the Quantrons. In this Mega Asteroid Movie, however, nobody is going to die. Because it's Power Rangers Meet the Mega Asteroid. Which is awesome.

And we get MORE actual science, because the explosives do jack shit! The asteroid is still heading to Earth and it's barely damaged and it's HUGE. The rangers scramble to find a solution, when Karone is SUPER AWESOME and finds the only answer. She has to go back to Dark Spectre. It's the only way to stop the asteroid. And she's totally willing to do it because SHE IS THE BEST EVER.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull attempt to sneak into Nasada with the Professor. They need to go tell them about the GIANT FREAKING ASTEROID headed for Earth. Because apparently the super powerful telescopes didn't pick it up, but the amateur telescope did. Whatever, it's a Mega Asteroid movie, so I don't care how implausible that is. But they are warning people! Because they are awesome! And want to help! Good job, guys.

Karone has made it back to Darkonda's ship and is ready to destroy the asteroid. Except she's confronted by Ecliptor who has been altered. He's not totally evil and is going to hurt her! But he can't! He's her fake!Daddy! Oh Ecliptor, honey. He overpowers her and she loses communication with the rangers. All the cries.

Andros doesn't even time to mourn because Nasada is asking for help dealing with the asteroid. They've already tried that, dude! But they're going to try again. Because they're Power Rangers.

Nasada makes a statement to "Angel Grove and the world", further proving Angel Grove is it's own country. He brings up the asteroid crash of 65 million years ago (OMG MORE SCIENCE FOR THE WIN! I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ACCURACY THIS SHOW IS GIVING ME NOW) and how we're looking at more world wide destruction on that scale. The Professor tells everybody to panic, which is horrible advice. Stand up and take your impending demise in stride, people. It will be so much better for you all.

Except the rangers on the case and they use EVEN MORE GOOD SCIENCE by using the MegaZords to push it off course, because THAT is the real life only solution to averting destruction by an asteroid! It doesn't even take much! OH MY GOD THIS SHOW! COULD IT BE ANY BETTER? I DON'T THINK SO! *anime hearts for eyes*

Bulk and Skull and the Professor are going to use a Nasada space ship to go into space. It's... not the best idea? But it's all they have. At least they're trying. So they manage to launch the space ship without any help at all. They hurtle towards the asteroid. The MegaZords are pushing the asteroid at full power. Will they make it?

To be continued...

1 fish. OMG ONE FISH. The actual science in this episode outweighs ANYTHING ELSE that could be wrong with it.

Episode 278 - The Rangers' Leap of Faith

So we start off with the ending of the last episode again. We already saw this! Both sides have valid points, and they need to learn the value of compromise.

Seriously, they're replaying the ENTIRE LAST SCENE. I mean, it's a great scene, but when you only have so long in an episode, do you really want to waste it?

So we finally get to a new scene after the credits, and Karone is tied to a poll in the maintenance bay. Andros shows up to give her some food and I'm just picturing Tommy screaming at the others after this, because... yeah. Andros brings Karone some food, and they have a discussion about trust. Then Karone asks about their parents, and it is very sad, and they start bonding over that. Apparently they stayed up talking and slept in there.

When they approach the planet, Andros springs the news on the others that it has to look like Astronema captured them. Maybe you should have mentioned that in advance, Andros.

Astronema contacts Dark Spectre and he's all "I'm so proud of you" and then lowers the force field. Rangers in chains, you guys. :D

As soon as possible, the Rangers remove their chains, and TJ starts issuing orders. Once a red...

Fighters stop by, and Astronema is all "What, they're escorts" and the Rangers do not look happy. Andros escorts Astronema off the bridge while TJ pilots and looks all badass.

TJ doesn't like it and decides to ditch the escorts, which um, is BEYOND STUPID. Because now you have advertised that Astronema isn't there, and also for all you know, they WERE leading you there.

The ship gets hit by lightning and there's smoke and darkness and all super dramatic, and then they crash. TJ, I adore you, but that was STUPID.

For a planet with such an unstable atmosphere, the planet looks very nice.

Andros runs back to check on Karone, and she has apparently ditched her chains and left the ship. TJ takes this as confirmation that she was leading them into a trap, and Andros refuses to believe it. They go exploring and run into Darkonda and the Pirahnatrons. Time to morph!

The other Rangers distract things while they yell for Andros to go find Zordon, and Karone grabs Andros while the others are all getting captured. Ecliptor shows up but he can't hurt Astronema, so he tells them to just go on. Darkonda then attacks Ecliptor and calls him a traitor, and he manages to capture him.

Andros and Karone comes upon Zordon's warp tube, and DUN DUN DUN, it turned out to actually be a trap. That was actually Dark Spectre in there, and the rangers are all captured. Astronema tells Dark Spectre that her trap worked perfectly, and he tells her to destroy them, and then teleports out. She tells Darkonda to destroy them, and then right before he's about to, she blasts him in the back and lets the other Rangers escape.

There's a fight scene, and it looks like the Rangers will get caught again, but Ecliptor comes to the rescue, and he tells Karone and the others to go, even though she yells that she can't leave him. She loves her surrogate daddy! The Rangers escape.

Dark Spectre gives Darkonda control of the dark fortress, but only until Astronema returns. Dark Spectre says he has plans for Astronema and Ecliptor, that will ensure they never stray again.

Back on the bridge of the Megaship, TJ leads the others in apologizing to Karone. She tells them that she's never had friends, and that she hopes that one day they'll believe that she doesn't want to hurt them. They tell her that they believe her right now, and also, now she has five friends. Ashley grabs her hand and seriously looks like she's about to kiss it. I feel this is relevant to people's interests.

End episode with Alpha saying the gesture of friendship is so beautiful.

Fish: 2! The plans and crosses and betrayals all worked out pretty nicely.

Episode 277- Astronema Thinks Twice

Today on Power Rangers, it's Astronema's turn to have a sad.

She's wandering around Earth as the memories start to come back to her. She won't let go of the locket and part of her remembers being snatched as a child, a little boy chasing after her, but she doesn't want to. She's so conflicted! And she plays it SO WELL.

Andros finds her and confronts her, because he knows she remembers. He thinks if he can just get her to see, she'll accept him and the goodness still inside her. She attacks instead and runs away, but I can't really blame her. She's confronting the fact that her whole life up to that point has been a lie. That's a big deal.

Darkonda delights in the conflict. Ecliptor is not so happy that Darkonda is having fun tearing apart his Adopted Daughter. He's going to take care of that for her, and get rid of Darkonda once and for all. Or, well, that's the plan anyway. The battle is amazing and Darkonda actually tries to run away, but Ecliptor will have none of it. He is determined to take care of this problem for Karone. Unfortunately, Darkonda cheats and forces Ecliptor to join with him again. Ecliptor escapes, barely, and Darkonda gets away again. Ecliptor screams out Darkonda.

Darkonda is counting down his lives and requests Dark Spectre destroy Ecliptor for him. Yeah, that's soooo not happening.

Astronema confronts Ecliptor about her brother, and Ecliptor explains that he was made to be evil, but she was born to be good. It's only because of him that she is who she has become. Except that Ecliptor isn't really evil! He loves! He has a heart! He cares deeply! He will do whatever it takes to save those who matter to him! He's only evil because he thinks that's what he has to be! Oh Ecliptor, I adore you and your poor tortured story. Astronema loves him and is determined to remain evil for him, so she sends a monster after Andros.

This show could benefit from an Adopted Dad Logan tumblr. Just saying.

She goes to watch the fight and is once again torn by emotions. Andros is getting the snot beat out of him, and he loses his morpher, which she manages to grab. She could save him, but she's not sure yet if she should and OMG THIS SHOW! ALL MY LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. She throws him his morpher and walks away, while he morphs and saves himself from the monster she sent to him (and then the others show up and there is all the toys and yada yada yada I don't care about this part).

I freaking ADORE these episodes. This is probably the tightest Power Rangers has ever been.

Dark Spectre doubts Astronema. She wants to be evil. He commands her to destroy Andros, knowing who he is. She hesitates, but decides to do it anyway.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to convince Andros that she's still dangerous. He refuses to see it and goes to meet her alone. Astronema tells Andros she'll take him to Zordon. He BELIEVES HER. BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. HE EVEN TAKES HER ON THE SHIP, and the others totally aren't happy with it. And understandably so! She's spent the better part of this season trying to kill them. He defends her, they grudgingly go along with it but only after she gives the coordinates. And now nobody really trusts Andros (and I can't blame them, but I can't blame him either). Oh Andros. Sweetheart. ALL THE CRIES.

Episode 275 - Always A Chance

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, IT IS TIME TO RECAP MY FAVORITE EPISODE!!!!!!

No, seriously. This is my favorite episode. Out of what, 720+ episodes? Yeah, this is my absolute favorite. The one that I have seen more times than any other episode. The one that cemented every single bit of fanon I have about Adam (and you were spared my thoughts when we did Mirror of Regret, although I did go into it a little when we did It Came From Angel Grove

So, I have a lot of fanon about Adam. I know not everyone agrees with my fanon about him, and I've written about some of my thoughts on Adam and power addiction before but hey, any excuse to talk about it again. There will probably be a lot of meta and theories in this, and since this is me discussing this episode, it's going to touch on depression and suicide. So, consider yourself warned.

Anyway, are you excited? Because I'm excited. (No, seriously, I emailed QR this morning in all caps about happy Always a Chance Day. I am possibly a little bit ridiculous.)

So, episode.

We open in some sort of warehouse/science lab thing, where a really ugly monster is sucking the life or something out of scientists and computers. Or stealing their knowledge with his tongue. The Rangers look in the windows and then go in and yell at him. They discover that he can switch places by licking. Um. Ew?

Cue theme song. And what's this AFTER the themesong? OH YES, THAT IS JOHNNY YONG BOSCH'S NAME. I remember waaaaay back when I first saw this episode, I literally fell off the couch when that happened. I mean, yeah, this was 98 so I had internet, but I wasn't in fandom or anything, and I had NO IDEA that JYB was returning. So yeah, there is something to be said about surprises, especially when it gets the actually fell off a couch reaction.

Anyway, Cassie tries to shoot the monster but he tongues her. Carlos tries to help her by attacking, but the monster switches places and thanks Carlos for his help. Cassie apparently has injured her shoulder. Carlos, meanwhile, has the saddest sad in all the land, and that's something, for a season that contains Andros.

Back on the megaship, Cassie is playing checkers with Alpha, and Carlos comes in to apologize to her again, and she's like "look, this sort of thing happens. We're Rangers," and Carlos is having none of it, because he's busy blaming himself for everything. It is possible that I overidentify with Carlos a lot.

They do a really good job with Carlos' guilt here - the Rangers have a lot riding on them, and the pressure not to screw up has to be incredible, especially as everything they're doing is really a matter of life or death. Sometimes we forget that at this point, they are still teenagers. I couldn't handle that amount of stress. But they fight monster after monster without breaking. No wonder they have so many fits of emo.

Some other stuff happens with Astronema and sending a monster down and blah blah. Ugly monster goes after Bulk, Skull and the Professor. Carlos is standing on a bridge posing dramatically and having flashbacks of how he hurt Cassie, when he sees Bulk and the others get attacked. He has a quick freakout, which you can tell by his shaking hand, but he yells at himself to get it together. Also, Carlos is super hot in this episode. He morphs, and tries to beat up the monster, who mocks him again. Carlos is losing pretty badly, and he's going down into a spiral of second guessing everything he does, and then someone flips in and saves the day.

AND LOOK WHO IT IS WHY YES I THINK THAT IS JOHNNY YONG BOSCH. FAVORITE.

EXCEPT ADAM YOUR HAIR WHAT IS THAT I CAN'T EVEN.

So Adam fights the thing UNMORPHED, because he is freaking BADASS LIKE THAT and meanwhile Carlos is being emo but whatever, the monster runs away from Adam. The monster mocks Carlos again about not having friends, and Carlos is just like "YAY MY BOYFRIEND IS BACK."

Carlos explains to Adam that he's been needing a lot of help lately, which um, is not what happened earlier in the episode, but whatever, because EPISODE. Carlos asks Adam for help and how he's second guessing himself, and Adam gives him a lot of good advice about taking chances and believing in yourself, and then explains that he had the same doubts, and then he offers to train him.

The fact that Adam is the one who comes back is super powerful, actually. Of the four Rangers who left in Passing the Torch, he's the only one who really didn't have something major waiting for him. Kat had dance school, Tommy had racing, Tanya has had a recording contract offer since mid-Zeo, and Adam... was working at a stunt show. He was the one who didn't seem as ready to leave, which of course also has to do with JYB and his not being ready to leave. Plus, Adam is the one with the canonical self-esteem issues (thanks, Mirror of Regret, and reasons why I overidentify with Adam for one million.)

Adam still isn't quite ready to give everything up - I mean, why is he in Angel Grove anyway? Why is he hanging out in the abandoned warehouse district where monsters are known to attack?

Anyway, training montage.

Have I mentioned how much I love training montages? And this is an unpopular opinion, but I think Adam is super hot when his hair is pulled back. SUPER HOT. THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR MY LIFE.

Adam and Carlos are sparring while Carlos is blindfolded and hi, Carlos's arms. Those are pretty nice, you should show them off more often. Carlos is having a lot of trouble with thie, but he's blindfolded and fighting Adam, so you know, to be expected.

Unfortunately, it looks like Adam hurt more than he helped, because Carlos gives up completely, says that he's no Power Ranger, and runs off. Adam says Carlos can make his own decisions, but he's clearly going "this is who I gave my powers to?"

Then he asks Alpha if his old morpher still works, because sometimes he wishes he was still a Power Ranger, and Alpha freaks out and is all "Morphing could DESTROY YOU" and Adam laughs nervously, but he rubs the morpher possessively a few times and looks sad.

So. Why does Adam have the morpher? It's been nearly a year since he gave up the powers in show time, and he's still carrying it around? Why would he even think about using something that could kill him.

I have a few theories on that (I am sure you're shocked). First, Adam just wasn't mentally prepared to stop being a Ranger. Holding onto the broken morpher was a way of still being a Ranger, even after he knew he couldn't. And training Carlos just sent the nostalgia and the desire to belong to a team and the desire to feel like he's doing something with his life overboard.

And then there's the other theory, which... is my favorite, personally, but I like angst. I really like the idea of power addiction and power withdrawal, and some sort of depression that hits after you give up the power. The longer you hold the power, the harder it is to give up (see Billy, Kim, and Tommy for other examples).

With Adam, and the ramped up version of what I mentioned earlier about his identity being tied to the power, this was a way to still be a hero, and to go out like one. Not knowing what to do with his life, Adam was ready to die in battle, die a Power Ranger. Whether or not he was fully conscious of it, the way I tend to write him at least was that he was in a serious depressive fit, and then there was the chance to make a difference again. Why would he pass it up? Which was more important, his life, or feeling alive?

I did warn I was going to be ridiculously meta, right?

Back on the megaship, Carlos has quit, because he's afraid of hurting someone again. Oh, honey. Self doubt is a really powerful thing, and Carlos is not doing well at all. In the park, Carlos tells Adam that he quit, and he rubs his wrist where the communicator should be. Nice powerful gesture there.

Adam is like "shit, what did I do?" when they get attacked by the LizWizard. More unmorphed fighting on Adam's part, because he is GREAT. Still, they're a little overwhelmed and Adam does the only thing he thinks he can do.

He grabs his broken morpher, ignores Alpha and Carlos when they're yelling at him not to, and he morphs.

Seriously, that's my favorite moment in Power Rangers.

Carlos warns him again that he'll be destroyed, and Adam is like "get out of here" because protecting the civilians is what they do, and that's what Carlos is now. Luckily, that is when Carlos changes his mind and stops.

Look, there's really only one interpretation for someone clutching their arm like that, and that's heart attack. Even if you don't buy the suicide attempt theory (which not everyone does), there is definitely some sort of lasting effect from him using the morpher. Which means... all the post-episode hurt/comfort fic in the world!

Adam is clutching his arm and looking in pain as his morph starts to fade in and out, and he's clearly having a lot of trouble since broken morpher that is DESTROYED and all, but Carlos finally decides to start acting like a Ranger. Of course, at that exact moment the other Rangers show up, and Cassie throws Carlos his morpher, and he morphs.

Adam fights the monster, and Carlos jumps at them. The monster tries to do the same thing with Adam as had happened with Cassie. Except this time Carlos manages to actually hit the monster.

This is the real passing the torch moment. This is when Carlos is basically acknowledged as being Adam's successor, and where Adam is ready to pass the power on. Not that episode in Turbo. This.

Then the monster grows, etc, fight. Back in the park, everyone comes to check on Adam, who still seems to be in pain and clutching his arm, but he tells them that he's fine, so instead it's all group hugs for Carlos time!

Fish: 1.5 BEST EPISODE EVER

Fic we want: EVERYONE YELLS AT ADAM AND THEN THERE ARE HUGS.

Important questions I did not get to address: So um. Zeo morphers? WHERE ARE THEY? (Okay, yes, so color issues, and it wouldn't have been as dramatic if he used the green, or do the Zeo ones not work any more? Was the crystal destroyed with the destruction of the Power Chamber? Is it somehow related to his psyche? YOU TELL US. Or write me fic.)

Episode 276- The Secret of the Locket

Today on Power Rangers, we get the best plot twist of the late 90's. Remember 1998, guys? I was 17. I did NOT see this episode coming, not at all. It's old hat now, but it seemed so novel at the time.

So we all know Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers (thus far), right? He lost his sister at a young age and has never been able to find her. Then his boyfriend best friend takes a hit for him and has to spend two years cryogenically frozen in the hopes of one day being healed enough to emerge. His entire planet is destroyed and the few survivors must scatter to the reaches of the galaxy. So what could possibly make poor Andros have an even bigger Sad? TODAY'S EPISODE, THAT'S WHAT.

So Andros finally gets to confront Darkonda about kidnapping Karone. He's a man possessed with this battle and honestly, as much as I get tired of the fighting, this battle is pretty epic and I could happily watch more of it. It would only be more amazing if he did it unmorphed. Because Andros is just a BAMF like that. He's almost had him destroyed, too, when Ecliptor distracts him long enough for Darkonda to escape. Then there is epic crying. Poor Andros.

Darkonda hangs out in the forest and does some major monologuing while setting up some hidden underground trigger which causes a bunch of lasers to fire. This bad guy seriously never stops talking to himself. Back on the ship, however, Andros lays in his dark bunk and has nightmares. Because that's what you do when your entire life has been one traumatizing event after another.

In what can only be described as beating us about the head with it, the shot of Andros holding the picture of his sister fades into Astronema holding a locket and asking Ecliptor where he found her. He says her parents and brother were killed by the power rangers and she was left on his doorstep, the only survivor. She thinks her brother is alive and he assures her otherwise, so she goes to attack Earth to make herself feel more evil.

It kind of works, until she sees a woman ushering her children away. The little girl falls and the little boy goes back to get her and Andros has to rush to their rescue. He launches on top of them to take the devastating blow coming to them, but Astronema attacks her own Quantrons to stop them from hurting the family. Andros is confused because clearly he has not been watching the same show we have.

Darkonda shows up and tempts Andros away from the battle. Ecliptor follows, because he's curious, as you are. Andros falls right into the trap, but manages to avoid stepping on the land mine altogether. He is unintentionally brilliant like that. There is another epic battle and Darkonda taunts Andros about Karone, saying she doesn't know he exists, etc etc etc. Darkonda then STEPS ON HIS OWN MINE. And blows himself up. Because Ecliptor got in the way and drew him out into the open. He intentionally saved Andros' life, and says it will just be this one time. Andros is thoroughly confused. Again, because he isn't watching the same show we are.

Andros is back in the main fight and ends up fighting Astronema. She's angry and confused and full of emotion, so she takes it out on him. He manages to cut off her locket and she is clearly upset, but has to flee before she can get the locket. Andros starts to look for the locket, but they have a monster to fight first. So some of the toys come out and we all know what happens here.

Let's get back to that locket, shall we? Andros is wandering around the smoldering battlefield when he finds it on some rebar. Astronema is also there trying to find her locket (I assume she still has it mostly because Ecliptor is really not as bad as he seems... he loves her, he's cared for her all those years, so he let her keep it... and mostly because I just really love this plot device). Andros opens it and sees his sister and himself, tiny pictures inside. He is shocked and pulls out his own locket with the same pictures inside. He knows she's Karone now. Astronema does not want to believe this. She knows it's true, you can see it on her face, but she doesn't want to believe it. She fights back and then runs away. Both are clearly overcome with emotion, unsure of what to do next and how to handle things.

So Andros finds his sister and then loses her, because she's the bad guy and he will have to destroy her to save the Earth. Oh Andros. Your Biggest Sad Ever just got bigger, poor boy.

2.5 fish. It actually made a fair amount of sense, for a Power Rangers episode anyway.

Episode 273 - A Date With Danger

So um. I have mentioned I really like the villain/Ranger thing, right? (See Goldar/Jason, Scorpina/Adam, Scorpina/Aisha, eventually Trakeena/Damon and Lucas/Nadira...)

Yeah, so Astronema/Zhane is TOTALLY on that list.

Which is why I'm recapping this and not Queenriley, who just informed me that if she was doing it, the recap would consist of "BUT YOU CAN'T MACK ON YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!"

Instead I will talk about Astronema/Zhane and how they should have really great sex.

We open up in a fight scene. That's usually not a good sign, but Zhane and Astronema flirting/fighting is great, especially when Zhane tricks Astronema into shooting her own monster. He tries to attack her and Zhane comes to her aid, because... she's hot?

Meanwhile, the other Rangers have destroyed the other monster, and we hit theme song. Such a good theme song.

Zhane has apparently taken Astronema to a secluded spot in the woods. He's ditched the helmet, built a fire, and propped her staff up against the tree. Then she stares at his ass for a minute, and then pretends to sleep again. And then he brings her something to drink, which she promptly insults.

Zhane is sad that she doesn't like his cooking. Meanwhile, Astronema is all "I could destroy you right now" and Zhane is all "here, let me show you how to toast marshmallows with your staff."

Astronema, honey, if you don't take him, QR and I will fight over him.

Astronema tells Zhane that they're still enemies, and then thanks him for saving her. We get some more shots of his ass. SO GREAT.

Back on the megaship, Carlos and TJ are goofing around, and Cassie and Ashley are all excited that star crossed lovers is playing. Carlos has no desire to see it. CARLOS, THIS IS WHY ASHLEY IS IGNORING YOU FOR ANDROS.

Meanwhile, Astronema is daydreaming about Zhane. Because he's dreeeamy. She's too busy fantasizing to be bothered with details about destroying the Rangers.

Back on the Megaship, Zhane is laying in his bunk, with one hand holding up a picture of Astronema, and we see nothing else of him. Gee, I wonder what he's doing?

Then the girls interrupt and drag him off to a movie. Even though he had better things to do. Astronema decides not to send monsters to interrupt their movie and instead goes down herself, ditching the awesome hair. (Note: Carlos thought the movie was romantic. Clearly he was having a lot of fun during the movie.)

Zhane stares at the movie poster and fantasizes about kissing Astronema. Astronema in human!form knocks into him, and causes him to drop his picture. Then she shoots him a LOVE LETTER with his picture of her, telling him to meet her at the campfire at 5.

Elgar and Ecliptor try to figure out where Astronema is, and then they decide to just go ahead with the plan anyway, because they're sure that's what they would have wanted. This interrupts the five main rangers discussion of the movie + food, and this time the monster knows all about their weapons. Because of the first fight.

Back at the picnic spot, Astronema has set up the BEST PICNIC EVER. Zhane has run to the Megaship where he's busy primping for the date. And he's bought flowers for Astronema! But Zhane is interrupted because the monster is attacking and so he has to miss the date. SAD FOR EVERYONE.

Astronema is getting pissed that he's late, and Zhane is clearly trying to get this done as soon as possible. Andros punches Ecliptor and then Zhane knocks off the monster's horns and it grows. Zhane is all "I AM LATE. YOU GO KILL THIS THING." And they do. Which I don't care about, because toys fighting and can we get back to Astronema and Zhane's soap opera, please????

Zhane shows up with flowers, and Astronema blasts him because he's LATE. Now he's all covered in mud. Astronema is mad that he stood her up and he's like "I DIDN'T." Zhane tells her he wouldn't have been late if she hadn't sent down any monsters, and she calls him a liar and says he never wants to see her again. EVERYONE HAS A SAD NOW.

Back on the Megaship, Ashley gets elected to find out what's wrong with Zhane. She fails, so Andros tries. Zhane just makes a sadface at him. When he fails, Cassie tries, but he just walks away. SUCH A SAD, ZHANE.

Back on the satellite, Astronema crumples up her picture of Zhane, but she can't make herself throw it away. BECAUSE OTP YOU GUYS. THIS IS SO GREAT.

Fish: 3 So how did they get the pictures of each other anyway? How did Zhane manage to set up the campfire that quickly? How long did it take for Zhane to fight the mosnter and be late? (I DON'T CARE HOW MANY FISH THIS HAS, IT IS SO GREAT.)

Fic we want: ALL THE ZHANE/ASTRONEMA. SECRET DATING. MY FAVORITE. Also, Astronema being pissed at Ecliptor for screwing up her date.