Episode 265 - T.J.'s Identity Crisis

Awww, the team is playing basketball! How adorable are they? I really love the various team building things where they play ridiculous sports, and I'm even willing to buy the matching outfits, because... adorable. Also, TJ is clearly hooking up with EVERYONE on the team, and I approve of this.

Anyway, DECA disturbs the basketball game to tell them that they've arrived on some planet and Andros points out that if someone sees them the whole mission is worthless. Of course, there's Darkonda. HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR BRIGHTLY COLOR CODED CLOTHING, EVER THINK OF THAT???

Back on the ship, Carlos asks Andros about the technobabble that's going to scan the galaxy really quickly or something.

Darkona sneaks up on Astronema, who is super annoyed with him for that. Darkonda is all "Ecliptor sucks" and Astronema is mad on his behalf. Why is this season not about Ecliptor and Astronema and how they are awesome? Ecliptor storms in and Darkonda spills the beans on the satellite. Darkonda and Ecliptor then blow up the scanner with Darkonda being all threatening about telling Astronema something, and somehow this causes the Rangers to lose the lock they had on Zordon. UM, YOU HAD ALREADY LOCATED HIM OR WHATEVER.

Anyway, time for a fight scene. Darkonda tries to kill Ecliptor or merge with him or somethign, because Darkonda is a GREAT villain and then we get Darkliptor. Darkliptor freezes Ashley and Cassie, and Andros tries to be one of THOSE reds and just run and attack even though TJ is all "DUDE, YOU NEED A PLAN." TJ takes a blow that was meant for Andros and goes down HARD. Carlos also gets all frozen or whatever and Andros takes the unconscious TJ back to the ship, leaving the others on the planet.

AND THEN WE FIND OUT TJ HAS AMNESIA AND LIKE, FAVORITE THING EVER.

Um, I have mentioned my love of amnesia before, yes?

TJ runs through the megaship and we head over to where Darkliptor has the other Rangers. Astronema seems to be buying Darkliptor's claim that Ecliptor had attacked Darkonda, or at least she's all "eh, he's caught three of them. Useful." She orders him to destroy the three Rangers, but he claims they're needed as bait. ASTRONEMA IS THE SMARTEST, EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO HER.

Back on the ship, TJ is still confused and Andros tries to jog his memory. TJ denies that he's a power ranger and Andros goes down to the planet himself.

You guys, this episode needs so much more of TJ not remembering that he's dating Cassie and/or Andros and them being all "CUDDLES!" For an episode that is supposed to be about amnesia, I am not getting the good parts of this trope. :((((

Andros is getting beaten up, while TJ explores the ship. He finds a basketball and somehow this makes him start to remember or whatever? Pfft. He then finds his locker which has pictures of the team , and he manages to teleport himself to watch the battle. He morphs and is still confused about being the blue ranger, and Darkliptor immediately attacks him. TJ is about to get killed when Andros saves him, and THEN TJ remembers.

Look, this is the biggest waste of an amnesia plot ever. WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS????

TJ remembers Andros, since apparently they are totally dating, and the two of them attack Darkliptor together. They trick him by throwing weapons and then blasting him and the amount I don't care about fight scenes or whatever. When Andros hits Darkliptor he splits back into Darkonda and Ecliptor and Astronema is all "what???" Darkonda recombines with Ecliptor just as Astronema makes them grow. Zords are summoned and Darkonda separates from Ecliptor again to make Ecliptor get destroyed instead of them both. Astronema proves to be a moron and believes Ecliptor attacked Darkonda, and declares him to be Ecliptor's equal. I am more concerned with whatever it is that Darkonda is blackmailing Ecliptor with, because I don't remember.

Back on the ship, apparently the technobabbley device is broken forever. TJ doesn't seem to remember what basketball is, so Carlos and Ashley are totally unconcerned about this and are just all "We are so going to beat them" but TJ is faking it. (Also, I choose to believe that TJ, Cassie and Andros are having a threesome.)

Fish: 3. HEY, WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS?

Fic we want: Take a guess

Episode 229 - Vanishing Act

This episode begins with Bulk and Skull meeting with the godfather and lying about their resumes. Sadly, it all goes downhill from there. Science does not work like that.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WIN SOME SORT OF PRIZE. I don't know WHAT PRIZE, but you win SOMETHING.

So instead of soccer, this time we're playing basketball. Then suddenly everyone vanishes. Nico gets an extra special all by himself vanishing, because he's special to the Rangers.

At the Youth Center, Cassie and Ashley are discussing boys, and that's ridiculously adorable, and they are so BFF, and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed like pink rabbits to deliver cake, and then they vanish. Except first we see them in their underwear.

The Rangers try to go to the Power Chamber, but there are only ROCKS where the power Chamber is supposed to be. And then we see Alpha and Dimitria in the Power Chamber, except now there are ROCKS IN THE POWER CHAMBER and the Rangers are walking through consoles and through Alpha and apparently the city is intangible as well as invisible? Except the Power Chamber isn't IN Angel Grove and I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

So the Rangers go to the lake and then they get attacked by invisible Pirahnatrons, and they morph, and I hope nobody was around but invisible. Except they can see the Pirahnatrons' footprints? And they get beaten up and one of the invisible Pirahnatrons gropes Justin and that's just wrong.

So the Phantom shows up and saves them and he's very protective of Cassie and CASSIE, TJ IS RIGHT THERE. THERE IS NO CONTEST. (Shipping is serious business.)

Somehow they can see the reflection of Angel Grove and the Pirahnatrons in the lake, and there's more fighting, and they split up and it's all REALLY BORING and we spend most of our time shouting about HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK and then they're driving around looking for the monster but only Cassie can see him and she keeps giving TJ bad directions and WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Were the writers HIGH? Did the fish actually materialize and just WRITE THIS?

Then Ashley decides they should use the gun function of the Turbo navigator, and then she combines her gun function with TJ's and somehow that makes Angel Grove reappear and then there's a Zord fight.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Back at the Youth Center, Ashley is all "So you have a crush on the Phantom Ranger" and Cassie is all "I wish I knew his name" (which is totally Billy Cranston, for the record) and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed as superheroes to sing happy birthday to Cassie, except then they end up in their underwear again.

Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED.