Episode 224 - Passing the Torch - Part 2

After an actual decent cliffhanger (Seriously, why wasn't THIS the cliffhanger episode instead of the boring one?) the three park Rangers morph (and Tanya gets to say it, which is seriously so awesome) and Adam temporarily defeats the monster by throwing water on him.

Cassie and TJ have come to Kat's rescue and they are so ridiculously awesome, I can't even stand it. The other Rangers show up and get the rest of the Pirahnatrons out of the way, and convince TJ and Cassie to leave, while TJ practically has a fangasm and Cassie is all concerned about Kat.

Meanwhile, Tommy is all tied up and suspended (and I approve so hard), while Mama D opens up the Vortex of Eternal Doom and Sorrow. UM, HOW AWESOME IS MAMA D? I love that she's clearly the head of the family and when Divatox is all "I think I hear Dad in there" she's just all "He asked for it." I would frankly read millions of words about the crazy awesome of Mama D. (And seriously, I love that all the villains in power this season are women. Rita was great, but we never saw her MOM.) So Divatox leaves Tommy suspended over the Vortex with rats chewing through the ropes. Oh, honey, no, haven't you ever read the villain handbook? Don't just leave him there to swing, just THROW HIM IN.

Dimitria is telling the other Rangers some nonsense about time running out and their most important mission ever, and nope, still can't find Tommy. They go fight the monster that's apparently recharged since Adam threw water on it.

TJ is telling Cassie about how he wanted to be a Ranger when he was a kid, and our brains start to hurt from timeline issues. We eventually decided that he was either a) talking about from when the Aquitians were there or b) meant when he was a kid he wanted to be a superhero and then just changed it to Power Rangers when he was like 12. Cassie wanted to be Tina Turner instead. TJ discovers a trail of slime, and assumes it leads to Tommy, but Cassie is all "Nope, bus. Sorry." Of course, she promptly comes back to kick some ass and save him, because she is awesome, and her parents told her never to leave a friend behind, and they're friends now, right? I SHIP THEM SO HARD.

Meanwhile, in Angel Grove, Adam and Tanya (morphed) tell Carlos and Ashley to get all the kids to safety. For some reason the Youth Center has cots set up in it. I guess in case the battle extends into the night or something? Maybe this is how the Youth Center makes its money - it gets a stipend from the city for being a monster shelter.

TJ and Cassie then go rescue Tommy!!!! Because they are awesome and wonderful and I love them. (Suddenly, Cassie is totally going "... why did my bus ticket just magically change itself to Angel Grove?") Tommy thanks them and then goes and morphs and the Rangers all beat the monster and seriously, the Zord fight is not the important thing about this episode.

Because back at the Power Chamber time is running out. We're assuming this is the countdown until the first of the Rangers has to leave for college or something. But more importantly, Zordon and the REAL Alpha are there to see them off!

Tommy passes his power to TJ, Kat passes hers to Cassie, Tanya to Ashley, and Adam to Carlos.

You know us. We're usually not the best with power transfers, as in usually we spend the whole recap complaining about it. But this time we were all "YAY IT'S TJ AND CASSIE DAY!!!!!!" And it isn't because we don't love the characters who were leaving - hi, Adam is my FAVORITE EVER and Tanya is in my top 5. But the dynamic of the Turbo team really just didn't work. And besides, Tommy has to go off and race cars and then get a PhD in 7 years so we can get the DT team, and Kat can go do that ballet thing, while Adam and Tanya get married and Tanya becomes super famous and Adam opens a dojo with Rocky.

So basically - YAY NEW TEAM. And I am going to thoroughly enjoy my season of Carlos/Ashley before Andros comes along.

Fish: 2! This is a good sign for the rest of the season, right?

Fic we want: Conversations with the senior rangers explaining the situation to the new team.

Episode 223- Passing the Torch Part 1

Now THIS would have been a great summer cliffhanger!

Divatox is dreaming. She gets a vision from her mother, head of the family, who lays on the guilt super thick and convinces Divatox to kidnap Tommy. Apparently she thinks without Tommy the team will fall apart. Frankly, I don't think any of them have been paying attention. Without Tommy, Adam will still lead and make all the decisions. Tanya will still have all the answers. Justin will still fix everything. And Kat will still be creepily maternal.

We meet Cassie, who is singing loudly on a bus. People from the back are heckling and TJ, sitting across from her, gets her attention and tells her she might want to quiet down a bit. She apologizes and explained how she wants to be a singer and sometimes gets carried away. TJ knows how that feels. So she's going to Stone Canyon to break into the music industry. TJ is going to Angel Grove to break into professional baseball. HOW CUTE ARE THEY? I LOVE THEM SO.

Meanwhile, Justin, Adam, and Tanya are camping. Tanya comments on Tommy being born late. It is awesome. Adam and Tanya set up the hammock while trusting Justin to set up the campfire. Good on them! He's 12. He's capable. No need to coddle the boy.

Tommy and Kat are driving to the campsite in Tommy's truck. Kat is amazed that Tommy was actually on time for a change. Everybody mocks him (in a 'we love you anyway' way) and I love it. They get attacked by Piranhatrons and Kat makes it pretty far away from the truck before it explodes. Tommy is closer and there is Dramatic Lunge. He hits his head on the ground, but luckily there isn't anything in there to damage (at least that hasn't already been pretty severely damaged).

Back at the campsite, Justin hears a noise and heads off in search of the source. He is confronted with a flame monster who wants to set the world on fire. This monster even manages to interrupt the morphing sequence. He kicks the key out of Justin's hand mid-morph. AWESOME! Adam and Tanya come running to Justin's cries and manage to get their keys knocked away as well.

TJ and Cassie are at the bus stop taking the 15 minute break before heading off to Angel Grove and Stone Canyon. TJ notices hte smoke and assumes there is trouble over the hill. He runs off to investigate and Cassie tries to convince the bus driver that TJ will be right back. The bus driver drives off. Cassie stays behind.

She finds TJ and they discover Kat, fighting for her life against the Piranhatrons. They immediately jump in to help. HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THEM???? Together, they manage to beat back all the Piranhatrons, but not before some weird goopy thing takes Tommy while Kat screams his name a whole lot. He ends up all tied up in a cave somewhere.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Now see, wasn't that a better cliffhanger? And we got OODLES of unmorphed fighting! I swear 80% of this episode was fighting and there was not a single morphing sequence to be had. :D

2 fish! OMG it's a low fish episode from Turbo!!!!

Episode 197- King for a Day Part 2

THIS is the episode where I think Kat's character was handled the BEST. Seriously, she should have been like this ALL the time. Plus, Bulk and Skull are BIG DAMN HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!!

So last time on Power Rangers, Tommy had induced amnesia and thought he was king of the Machine Empire. He was in an arena. Fighting Jason. And a billion shippy fics were born.

Jason wants to save Tommy with the power of friendship. He says "Tommy" a lot and this seems to trigger something, and I keep screaming at Tommy to just look at how he's dressed because HELLO! POWER RANGER! Tommy, unfortunately, is not very smart.

In a cell, Bulk and Skull are discussing The Way Things Are with Fish Hat guy. He is a master warrior from his planet. Gasket is collecting warriors from every planet for his arena and he just assumes Bulk and Skull are warriors as well. They do not correct him. Best part of this exchange?
Fish Hat Guy: "What planet are you from?"
Bulk and Skull: "We're from Earth."
Fish Hat Guy: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."
BWAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. HE KNOWS.

On the moon, Rita and Zedd are watching. Rita makes a comment about as soon as the rangers destroy each other, they'll rule the Earth. Except they WON'T. And the moment they realize that is SAD. They are so distraught! Zedd realizes there is only one way to win, and that's take out the Machine Empire. And the only way to do that is to HELP THE RANGERS. It physically pained him to say this, and Rita fainted, but he's RIGHT.

Tommy and Jason are fighting and Billy is trying desperately to get the other rangers there to help. He gets them as far as the lake where Tommy first was kidnapped and that's it. He loses the signal. They can't go anywhere. So they stand around near the lake helpless, hoping Billy will do his usual and pull a miracle out of thin air to get them there. He doesn't. Instead, FINSTER DOES IT FOR HIM. Finster has been working on his own teleportation device and convinced Zedd that five rangers are more annoying than one, and he should teleport the other rangers to help win back Tommy. Zedd takes credit, of course, and Finster blows out his machine doing it. BUT HE DID IT. FINSTER TELEPORTED THE RANGERS TO JASON AND TOMMY. BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME. (and now we feel Billy and Finster should bond. Best friendship ever y/y/mfy?)

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull, and Fish Hat Guy defeat a cog and escape. The plan is to travel to the control room and destroy the mind wipe device, thus restoring Tommy's memories. Then they're going to destroy the force field device and allow EVERYBODY to escape and go home. Good plan, guys! Except there are lots of cogs near the control room. Fish Hat Guy locks himself in to destroy everything, leaving Bulk and Skull outside to fight the cogs. AND THEY DO. AND IT IS AMAZING. They handle more cogs unmorphed and without the benefit of any special power flowing through them than the rangers EVER do MORPHED. BECAUSE BULK AND SKULL ARE AWESOME AND I LOVE THEM AND THIS IS THE BEST FIGHT OF THE WHOLE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the five rangers attempt to restrain Tommy and convince him he's on their side. It's not working too well. Until Kat pulls the MOST AWESOME MOVE EVER. She DEMORPHS. Right there. Mid fight. She refuses to fight any longer and just demorphs, trying to convince Tommy that she is his friend, not his enemy. She stand there while he attempts to attack her, but he can't do it, because part of him KNOWS. She hugs him tight and talks to him, willing him with the sheer power of friendship, that he is GOOD and they are GOOD and it's OKAY. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT. IT WORKS. Tommy starts to remember. Jason demorphs to help Kat. Tommy remembers more. The others join in. Tommy is struggling with this, and almost attacks again. Instead he fully realizes himself, demorphs, and stands with his friends! Yay for the power of friendship! Seriously, this is one of my favourite tropes.

So the rangers can't morph and they can't teleport out and Gasket comes down to start monologuing them. Except Bulk and Skull and Fish Hat Guy WON. They destroyed everything, in a big explosion, and the force field vanishes. The rangers bid their farewells and teleport the hell out of there. Bulk and Skull aren't sure Fish Hat Guy made it out, but he comes striding out of the fire and it is awesome. They're so happy to see him! He congratulates them, they do the grunt, and they congratulate him. Except they have no way home, so he honours them by taking them home himself. AWWWWWW.

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull regale Emily with their tales of heroics. She doesn't believe them and even taunts them about it. It makes me sad. So they go tell Jason, Kat, and Tommy. Who DO believe them! And talk about how the rangers would surely thank them. Except Tommy and Kat, in attempting that whole Secret Identity thing, come across sarcastic. Bulk and Skull stomp off, upset that nobody believes them, even though the trio call after them that they do believe them and please don't go. They were actually trying to be nice this time which is a very welcome change from similar interactions in MMPR!

2 fish. Anything fishy is completely overshadowed by the awesome that is Kat AND Bulk and Skull!

(I really need a good Bulk and Skull icon)

Episode 196 - King For A Day - Part 1

First, I'm really sorry we've been so long without recaps. I moved into a new apartment, and that's taken precedence over pretty much everything, including recapping. But I am moved in now, so recaps are back on schedule! (Err, for version of schedule that means we're still 3 months behind where we said we'd be.)

SO. Onto the recap.

Tommy has been kidnapped, and how much do I love that we get to use that tag again? A LOT, let me tell you.

The episode begins with Tommy's brainwashing, where he's fighting the white ranger version of himself, and some cogs. I maintain that this is one of the events that contributes to Tommy's MPD. But we'll discuss that when we get to Dino Thunder. Gasket is being all great and menacing and going on about how he's manipulating Tommy's mind and will brainwash him to destroy the Rangers, while also giving Tommy's powers to some monster.

This is... actually a great plan! Good job, Gasket!

Meanwhile, Rocky, Jason and Kat are at the Youth Center since there's nothing they can do at the moment, where they stumble upon Bulk and Skull insisting to a mocking crowd that they saw Zeo Ranger 5 at the lake, except they could see right through him. You would think that the people of Angel Grove would be way more tolerant of these things, considering they get attacked by monsters all the time, but nobody is willing to listen to Bulk and Skull. Probably because they have cried wolf a few too many times. They're dared to go get some proof (by some tiny children) and they agree. Meanwhile, the Rangers also decide to check it out.

With the brainwashing complete, Tommy's powers are transferred to some monster that they now claim has the power of 100 warriors. That is BULLSHIT. Maybe 100 putties or something. Then we get transferred to the arena, and I am not going to lie, I am absolutely craving a bad and wrong gladiator AU where the Rangers are all captured and forced to fight each other. *cough* I mean, seriously, we have a great setup for it! (We like torturing our favorites, WHAT?)

So it turns out that Tommy hasn't been brainwashed to be evil again, he just has amnesia and Gasket is telling him that the Rangers are the evil ones. This sucks, because frankly, Tommy is better when he's evil. Also, no evil laugh. BOO. On the other hand, amnesia is still pretty great for fic writing.

At the Power Chamber, the Rangers are all discussing what to do, and Jason and Kat are pretty much fighting over who gets to rescue Tommy. Seriously, they should just date each other instead of fighting over him. But Jason's hero complex is in full effect, and he goes on about how he can't fail Tommy again. Hey, continuity!

They head to the lake, and see holographic!Tommy, and Jason runs right to it while Kat realizes that It's a trap! Jason gets caught, and Kat does not. Bulk and Skull, who show up to investigate, also get caught. Walking chaos magnets, for real.

Gasket has convinced Tommy that the Rangers are evil by showing him three images of the Rangers shooting things and then things blowing up. Tommy decides that his best warrior will destroy the Rangers, starting with the Gold Ranger, who is now stuck in the arena. GLADIATOR AU. FOR REAL. For some reason, Tommy doesn't wonder why he is dressed as a Ranger.

Bulk and Skull are also being held captive in a cell, where some guy with a fish hat asks them if they want to argue with each other, or escape.

Back at the Power Chamber, Billy has returned and is scanning for Tommy's missing brainwaves, and they also manage to find Jason, and Bulk and Skull. Billy is so not surprised to see Bulk and Skull have been captured, because they are walking chaos magnets. He refers to them as a couple of hitchhikers, which explains so much. They're all freaked out because they don't know where their towel is! Oh, and the portal is now closed, so the rest of the Rangers can't get in.

Then they manage to get a picture, because Gasket is BROADCASTING THIS. Even Rito and Goldar pick it up on the moon! To be fair, if I was going to destroy a Ranger, I would probably also broadcast it. It would be great ratings. Except I'd do it timedelayed, since, you know, the Rangers aren't that easy to destroy.

Jason fights the monster, and then figures out that it has Tommy's powers because only Tommy can match him move for move, so he just calls the monster Tommy a lot and somehow that makes it lose Tommy's powers? That whole part makes no sense. He tries to get through to Tommy, but Tommy just says he will fight him instead.

Fish: 4.5. LOOK, that thing with the brainwaves makes NO SENSE. A good plan, but NO SENSE. If you cut out the whole thing with the monster using Tommy's powers, it would drop down a lot, but it made NO SENSE.

Fic we want: GLADIATOR AU.

Questions: Why are some of Rita and Zedd's monsters in the audience?

Episode 195- Where in the World is Zeo Ranger 5

Today on Power Rangers... Tommy is Super Awesome and Everything to Everyone. Sprocket is whiny and has jealousy issues with Gasket. Rito and Goldar are put in charge of fixing the RV (and we all know how that will turn out). And Bulk and Skull win back Detective Stone's trust in guarding his expensive machines thanks to Gasket.

We start off with a very long Tommy-is-awesome montage. Because clearly this show has not had enough of them up to this point. He's on a wave runner in the lake and Kat is really nervous for some reason. Jason and Emily admire Tommy. Jason is very pretty and hot damn does he have some nice arms. Jason, be on my screen more often, please.

Bulk and Skull are put in charge of Detective Stone's wave runner. This is also not going to end well (and doesn't, because Gasket turns it into the monster of the week). Luckily it is restored in better working order, so Bulk and Skull finally gain Detective Stone's trust. FINALLY.

Mid-ride, and just at the end of the Tommy-is-awesome montage, Tommy is kidnapped! I missed that tag. This happens to him rather a lot. Kat and Jason run off to a random wave runner and go searching the lake. Tommy is nowhere to be found and in a shout out to the name of this episode, they wonder where in the world he's gone. Kat uses her brain and contacts Zordon immediately. Clearly she is the smarts of this episode. Unfortunately, Billy is on Triforia being an Intergalactic Spy, so he's not going to be able to help. Alpha discovers Tommy has been teleported off planet, however the fish are blocking his signal. With a barcode scanner with flashy lights detection device, they can find the remnants of the signal and trace it back.

So, as TSB put it, "The fish are blocking everything, but maybe you can find the right fish in the lake." This... makes a weird sort of sense for Power Rangers...

Anyway, Jason and Kat get attacked by cogs while searching for this signal. They do not call the other rangers. Adam and Tanya must be busy doing... each other. Rocky is probably busy wondering why Jason is hanging out with Kat instead of studying anatomy with him. Poor Rocky gets left out of everything now. So the cogs break the scanner and then Kat screams for Tommy Jason. Tommy Jason rushes to her side, a cog sticks his tongue out at them, and then they vanish. Kat and Jason are left wondering what's going on.

Gasket sends down a monster, whom Sprocket is sure is not powerful enough to beat the rangers (but Gasket doesn't believe him, because what does Sprocket know... he's just an inexperienced kid... I have sibling issues as well). The monster knocks people unconscious by spraying them with a water hose. ALL the rangers go after him this time and he likes to taunt them, apparently. He calls Jason a second rate substitute for a leader. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA NO. Jason did it first and Jason did it BETTER. Sprocket is subtlely cheering the rangers on. I love that about him.

Apparently the monster proves too tough because he sprays them, they get disoriented, and then the rangers pull a Sir Robin and bravely run away. Alpha gives them some weed medication in an oxygen mask and Rocky totally hits that up. Then they all go back to fight some more.

This monster has a boomerang. Which he threatens to use a lot, but then charges at the rangers instead of, y'know, THROWING IT. Gasket makes him grow and Tanya is all "We need Tommy!" But no! Alpha, in a rare burst of continuity, remembers the remote for the white falcon zord, and says there is one of the zeo zords as well and they can use that. Tanya should have been upset by this, seeing as they could have used it when she was called away from rescuing her parents, but whatever. Anyway, as expected, the rangers win. Sprocket pulls an "I told you so" to his big brother. *pats Sprocket*

Back at the lake, Kat and Jason are trying to see if there are still fish. And there ARE! Are we at all surprised? OF COURSE NOT. They take the data back to Alpha who uses it to track down Tommy. Except he's getting "unusually high brainwaves" from Tommy. This would be because normally he doesn't get ANY brainwaves from Tommy. :P

We end this episode with a gratuitous shot of Tommy, morphed (why... he was kidnapped off his wave runner in a bathing suit and life jacket), a device on his head, his legs spread wide, and in clearly what is a lot of pain. I'm sure there is bad and wrong fic about this somewhere (no, I don't want to read it).

This episode had far too little Rocky-and-Jason on the same screen, and no Billy. This makes me sad.

3 fish. They were all in that barcode scanner device.

Episode 183 - A Small Problem

There were possibly some margaritas before recapping, so I apologize in advance for any incoherency.

Tommy, Kat, Raymond the Token Jew, and Tanya are working together on some terrarium project. Tanya is going to stay behind and work on the terrarium while the others go capture some lizards and spiders and stuff. Eww, spiders. DNW. Kat is all "What could go wrong in the desert" and we are all "KAT, you are a RANGER. DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS."

Meanwhile, Sprocket has accidentally figured out how to shrink stuff. Mondo is very proud of him, even though it was an accident. They will totally shrink the Rangers.

Bulk and Skull have apparently been hired to find Old Man Murphy's goldmine. They seek the motherlode, which as far as I'm concerned is just a cheat code for The Sims. Also, they have so clearly graduated by this point.

In the desert, Raymond gives Kat and Tommy orders on what to do. He is all "I AM GETTING AN A, DO YOUR JOBS. WHY AM I STUCK WITH GROUP PROJECTS????" but that might be my own hatred of group projects coming through.

Of course, considering Tommy and Kat and Tommy's jeep promptly get shrunk by Sprocket, he was right to be concerned. (I was going to make a "Honey, I Shrunk the Rangers" joke, but apparently I need to save that for Turbo. Damn.) Sprocket decides to keep them as his pets throws them in the terrarium that Tanya is supposed to be painting, and then they have to fight a GIANT TARANTULA. Which is creepy. I hate spiders.

Raymond shows up at the youth center, all pissed off that he was abandoned in the desert, which is a justifiable anger, and Tanya tries Tommy and Kat on the communicators. But apparently because they were shrunk, their communicators don't have enough power to contact Zordon. Whatever, he was probably busy anyway.

The Gold Ranger shows up, and then the rest of the Rangers get there, and there's a fight, and everything is really boring, and eventually Billy figures out how to unshrink them, and then there are Zords and they form the Ultrazord, and dude, be more boring.

It's briefly hinted that Skull might be the Gold Ranger, which would have been awesome. Oh, and Bulk and Skull didn't find gold, they found fool's gold. Whatever.

Fish: 4. There was a lot of ridiculous science in this one.

Episode 129- A Ranger Catastrophe Part 2

Just to let you all know, there won't be any recaps next week, because I'm going to Disney World! Our regular schedule will resume when I get back.

Previously, on Power Rangers - Aisha and Kim are the worst cat owners ever, and is sad. Yes, the Kat era has begun, which means that Kim is leaving, and I'm going to pout, because Kim is made of total awesome. However, I like Kat, so it's all good.

So, Tommy and Kat are all kidnapped, and the other Rangers are watching in the viewing globe as he loses consciousness. Why he passes out, we don't know. Billy spouts some sort of technobabble that we didn't quite catch and didn't really qualify as Billy speak about how they need to increase something to penetrate the shield.

Up on the moon, Rita summons Kat back to her, and Rita with a kitty is the cutest thing ever. Rita is a much better cat owner than Kim and Aisha are. And cat!Kat is a very tolerant cat - most of my cats would not submit to being handled in that fashion.

Goldar wants permission to go fight Tommy, even though we know that Goldar is just using him as a poor substitute for Jason, and then Zedd and Rita argue over the cat, and then send Rito down to fight the Rangers.

Seriously, when there's a Zord fight this early, this is a sign that there are bad things to come. I mean, Billy gets to say the morphing call, which is awesome, and we get to see the individual zords fight again, and then the Rangers beat Rito without Tommy, proving that they are awesome and don't need him.

At the Command Center, the Rangers watch as Goldar and Tommy fight, and then Billy comes up with a plan to rescue Tommy, but they need to head to Billy's garage. (For fun sexy makeout times.) On the way there (and why they didn't teleport directly to Billy's garage, I have no idea. I guess the fish made them do it) they run into the Kat monster. The other Rangers are summoned, and they fight Kat, and then Billy and Adam go to the garage to finish doing something.

A conversation-
QR: does [Billy's] father never venture into the garage?
TSB: not after he caught Billy and Trini having sex on the couch in there, no
QR: AHAHHAHLADSKJF
TSB: see, I even said Billy and Trini instead of Billy and Kim, just for you :P

Back in whatever dimension it is, Rito has joined the fight. There's too much Tommy in this fight, and not enough bromance of evil. Billy figures out how to do something, and then the Rangers all hold hands and somehow this teleports Tommy out, and then they summon Zords again to fight the Kat monster. Ninjor shows up, but we guess he left his snark behind, because it's a really boring fight.

After the Kat monster is destroyed, the Rangers find Kat hanging out in the park. She tells them some sort of sob story about how scared she was, and everyone thinks she's really hot. Also, turns out that this episode takes place during summer vacation! That at least explains something.

There is no mention of Kat's car. I guess a fish ate it.

The episode ends with Aisha finding cat!Kat again, and ignoring her glowing green eyes of doom.

Fish: 2.5 It's not awful, but there were a few moments that just made us yell fish.

Episode 128- A Ranger Catastrophe Part 1

Last time on Power Rangers was the BESTEST EPISODE EVER OMGYAY! And so this time we get... incredibly boring.

We start out by learning that Aisha volunteers at the local animal shelter. She loves the animals and loves helping out, and the shelter is understaffed and underfunded anyway, so they love having the help. I like this aspect of Aisha. Very noble.

Later, as she's walking in the park with Kim, they discuss the love of animals. Kim stumbles upon a stray cat just kind of milling about the park. A very white, very CLEAN, stray cat. I don't know why this didn't clue them in that it wasn't, in fact, a runaway kitty. But we'll just move on for plot purposes, yes?

Aisha carries it around for awhile, including through the Youth Center and to the outdoor cafe of the Juice Bar, and I cry foul! One does not bring a pet into a restaurant! Service animals, yes, of course. But not a pet. Health and safety, you see. Bulk and Skull, as junior police patrolmen, agree and attempt to find the correct codes to make Aisha leave. They don't, but they're adorable at trying to enforce the rules. Aisha and Kim take the cat to the shelter and Aisha gets all excited because if the cat isn't claimed within a certain timeframe, she has permission to adopt it herself. She really wants this cat.

There is a problem with this, though. This cat was planted by Rita. She calls all her dimwits, to which Rito responds enthusiastically, and then explains her dastardly plan. It's no ordinary cat, you see. It's an EVOL Cat born in the pits ruled by Basement Cat.

Rito is sent down to scare away potential pet adopters from the animal shelter, and Bulk and Skull manage to catch him in the act. They bravely attempt to arrest him, hoping to make themselves famous, but he is big and mean and threatening and they back away rather quickly in fear.

Meanwhile, not-really-a-cat is being pampered in the shelter by Aisha. She spies Rito, however, and has to run outside to be all badass and take him on herself. Because she's awesome like that. Zordon, in a rare moment of attentiveness, notices and calls the others to help. They rush to aide Aisha, even though she didn't really need help, and a very boring fight ensues. The not-really-a-cat turns into Human!Kat to observe the fight and is caught by the vet in charge of the animal shelter. Thinking quickly, Kat convinces the lady that she's there to adopt a puppy to help her be not lonely in a new town, seeing as she's all Australian and far from her friends.

When the fight is over, Rocky runs off in search of an overly large sandwich, with Adam and Billy hot on his tail. And I mean that in just about every possible way.

Aisha, Kim, and Tommy head into the animal shelter and Human!Kat quickly vanishes to turn back into not-really-a-cat. Time is up and Aisha gets to take not-really-a-cat home. She's so excited! We're so bored.

Aisha names the cat PC, for Park Cat, since they found it in a park. Really? That's the best you could do, Aisha? That's... the lamest name ever. I can deal with PC, that's fine. I had a turtle named PC (but it was short for an actual name!). But at least make it stand for something legitimate or meaningful! Anyway, Kim comes home and leaves the door open, and not-really-a-cat-now-with-a-bad-name! runs out the door and down to open windows, where she promptly leaves the house and transforms into Human!Kat. Aisha and Kim search desperately for the lost not-really-a-cat-now-with-a-bad-name.

Human!Kat is met by Rita, who tells her to go steal Tommy from Kim. Rita transforms a dumpster into a hot car (with a cool, but not the coolest ever, vanity plate that says PURRRFECT) and sends Kat down to the Youth Center. Tommy is milling about, waiting for Kim, when Ernie realizes he failed to deliver the message that Kim would be late. Tommy is interrupted by Kat. She claims car trouble and gets Tommy outside, where he does something under the hood that leaves him and his sparkly white clothing completely clean, and then oohs and aahs over the car. Kat offers to let him drive "just around the block" and he accepts, even though he's supposed to meet Kim. He really falls so easily for the damsel in distress act. They go for a drive, but Rita zaps them into some vortex/alternate dimension thing, and Kat acts frightened and clingy, for which Tommy also falls. Oh Tommy. Could you BE any easier?

Zordon, in yet another glaring moment of attentiveness, notices that Tommy has been kidnapped, finds him, and then contacts the other rangers. Kim is jealous of the girl he's with (can't really blame her!), they wonder at how they'll get him back, discover that Rito is on Earth again, and then we cut to the To Be Continued screen.

That's not much of a cliffhanger.

And all I learned from this episode is that Steve Cardenas really really needs to stop overacting.

1.5 fish. It wasn't really fishy. Just very boring.

Episode 81 - Zedd's Monster Mash

Do you know what Saturday is? Saturday is going to be Stone Canyon Trio day! That's right, we have officially reached the point where Zack/Trini/Jason are gone, and we're going to meet their replacements, including my favorite. (Okay, so I momentarily debated asking if we could skip this episode, just so we could get to Stone Canyon earlier. I have a favorite, okay?) If Saturday's posts are filled with all caps flailing.... well, you've been warned in advanced. (Luckily for everyone, will be writing two of them.)

Anyway, it's a good thing we didn't skip this episode, because it was actually really awesome. It's Halloween again. Okay, so this is the first one that officially references Halloween, but costume parties and pumpkin themed tv shows totally scream Halloween to me. But the important thing is to talk about the costumes - Kim is a jester (so glad she's not a princess. SO GLAD), Billy is a mad scientist, and Tommy is a pirate. Ernie is a crazy 20s gangster, and Bulk and Skull are soldiers of some sort. And there are a bunch of tiny children dressed as Power Rangers. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, wouldn't you go as Power Rangers? (I would totally go as a Power Ranger now, so I may not be the most biased person in the universe. In fact, I am totally going to be the Pink Ranger this year, and nothing will stop me.)

In important things that are setting up for the Stone Canyon Trio, Billy and Kim have a discussion about the Torchwood World Peace Conference. They are both excited for it, except they worry what would happen if one of them gets selected for it. Aww, foreshadowing, so cute.

An amazing event occurs! We see the actual parent of a tiny child, who talks about how exciting it is that the teens are going to chaperone their kids on Halloween. I'm just amazed that the show is remembering that parents exist.

Up on the moon, Zedd is all excited about the holiday! It is right up his alley, except something is missing. He needs Tommy. Zedd is totally trying to beat out Goldar for the creepy obsession with the Ranger thing. Except while Goldar drove Jason off to join Torchwood, we're stuck with Tommy a while longer. So Zedd decides to throw his own Halloween party (and Baboo wants to be Little Bo Peep, which is so amazing I don't even have words for it) and invite Tommy.

Bulk and Skull show up, and for a minute we're afraid that they're going to be chaperones, but instead Bulk is going to eat some really hot candy, and then bob for apples. He then gets an apple stuck in his mouth, and we get a pig comparison, complete with sound effects, and I guess it's been a while since we've used the fatphobia tag. Thanks, show!

Zedd's plan is to have a bunch of putties turn into children and then separate Tommy from everyone else. The Putties turn into BABY RANGERS and I am overcome by the SHEER CUTE. Tommy takes them out (although I have some nitpicks about the plan. How did they know that Tommy would be the one to be assigned them? Didn't they make a point of saying that the parents had to sign the kids in and out?) but considering some of the fish that the show gives us, I really shouldn't be nitpicking.

Bulk and Skull see the tiny Rangers, and wonder if maybe the Rangers can shrink. This is so stupid I don't want to acknowledge it. However, they go around pulling off the helmets of the kids, and we see that there's a female red, and I start all capsing out of the sheer awesome. And then Bulk and Skull get covered in silly string, and honestly, they totally deserved that one.

Goldar shows up, and the putty!children turn into regular putties, and there's a fight scene. After Tommy beats them all, Goldar just teleports him to the Dark Dimension. I have no idea why they bothered with the plan and the fake children at all if Goldar could just do that. But Tommy ends up in a graveyard, and there's a really stupid new monster, and then Zedd decides to finally take our advice and just have a whole bunch of monsters. First we get the Pumpkin Rapper which means that we are totally going to subject you to this monster's horrible rhymes. Oh, and he steals Tommy's morpher.

Meanwhile, Kim and Billy have noticed that Tommy is missing, and that these children don't actually exist. Zordon hasn't bothered to call them, so they go to the Command Center and realize that yeah, he's actually been kidnapped. Again. Oh, Tommy. They manage to locate him on the viewing globe, and Billy wonders why Tommy isn't morphed. Kim immediately says it's because he's lost his Power Coin. I love that this happens often enough that Kim doesn't need to think about it. Some leader you are, Tommy!

The Pumpkin Rapper gets some allies in The Snizard (who also showed up in Island of Illusion), the Primator, the Robogoatthe Invenusable Fly Trap and the Rhinoblaster. With all these monsters, the Rangers should be doomed!

But no, because Kim and Billy show up, and they help Tommy get his morpher. Still, they're pretty outnumbered, so Alpha says that he will go and watch the children that Trini/Jason/Zack are supposedly escorting, reusing his costume excuse. So we get the shortest Zord summoning sequence in a while, yet only the Pumpkin Rapper bothers to grow. I mean, what was the point of summoning all those monsters? Oh, Zedd. You should hire us to explain the evil overlord rules to you. The Pumpkin Rapper is easily defeated, again.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull ate too much candy and everyone laughs at them.


Fish: 2.5 Mostly nitpicks. They just all added up!

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water and Bulk and Skull both get covered in silly string.

Pumpkin Rapper Speak: "maybe you did, but it's time to get sad. Because of Lord Zedd's power we're back and we're bad!"
"Hey don't play, he's getting away"
"You better just quit or you'll get hit"
"rangers this aint no play, 'cause you're going down today"
"It's so cool that is hot, rangers in a real spot?"
"I can't believe you dare to try and make this fair"
"I get bored with tinhead zords"
"that was uncool, so take this fool"
"we're going to fight to say goodnight"
"On the ground, clown."
"You brats! What's with that?"

Episode 77 - White Light - Part 1

First, a bit of housekeeping. We changed the tag "Green Ranger era" to "Tommy era." Just in case anyone is wondering.

So. Tommy. Yeah. I hate this episode. I loved it when I was ten. But the thing that actually is going to cause the rage blackout happens in part 2, so I'll try not to rant about it that much.

The episode opens with Bulk and Skull (who are decked out as explorers on a safari, IDEK) demand to know where their sandwiches are. Trini snarkily calls them out on their rudeness, as she is awesome.

Kimberly bounces in, all excited because Tommy has sent her a letter (I guess he remembered which Ranger he's actually dating) telling her that he'll be back at the end of the week. I have no idea what happens next, because we held an all caps conversation about this.

second_batgirl: SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS HE?
queenriley: okay, WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO IN THE FIRST PLACE????? Does he not have SCHOOL???
second_batgirl: APPARENTLY NOT
queenriley: I can't imagine school gives sabbatical for "I lost my ranger powers"

So we finally decided that they have to be on summer vacation or something. We already know that Miss Applebee teaches everything, so I guess that works? (Alternately, the administration knows that they're Rangers and does give a sabbatical for "I lost my powers.")

Anyway, at the Command Center it turns out that Zordon and Alpha are going to work on a project, so they shut down the Command Center without telling the Rangers. Do they not remember what happened the last time Zordon shut down? (I guess since Alpha isn't going to go rescue baby!Dillon this time, they didn't feel the need to call them.) Zedd, who is as awesome at surveillance as Rita was, immediately notices something weird, and then gives us a fish filled explanation about how the Morphin Grid is maintained by a balance of Zedd and Zordon. Right. I guess it's also supported by some giant fish. So Zedd decides this would be a great time to a) capture Tommy again and b) send down a monster named Nimrod.

Back on Earth, Zack, Curtis and Jasosn are playing sports and damn, Jason has nice arms. Then Rita's garbage pail crashes on Earth, and Bulk and Skull decide this is the sign that will tell them who the Power Rangers are. Right. I'm not entirely sure why it took 17 episodes for her to land on Earth. Maybe some fish were blocking her path.

At his uncle's lake, we see Tommy getting out of the lake. Wow, for a moment both of us thought he was naked. Those swim trunks were remarkably close to the color of his skin. Anyway, gratuitous shirtless soaking wet Tommy is gratuitous. And then he gets teleported out by someone in a flash of white light. Hmmm.

Zack wanders over to get a football, and he finds the statue covered in slime, so he calls the others. They are all concerned by the slime, but none of them bother to inspect the back of the statue, which has the monster's head on it. The Rangers soon discover that Zordon isn't answering their communicators, so they teleport to the Command Center which is totally shut down. However, Billy manages to access what we're guessing is the footage from the security cameras, so they teleport down to his lab to check it out.

While in the lab everything starts to shake, so they realize that a monster is attacking. It's Nimrod, and it's two helpers AC and DC. I love this show so much. Midway through the battle Billy teleports to the Command Center to go figure out what Zordon and Alpha are up to. He enters the same code he saw Alpha put in, and falls through the door of light. Instead of ending up in the main room where Alpha and Zordon are, he lands in the room above them, which conveniently has a grate for him to look through. Zordon and Alpha fail at noticing his presence, but Billy is able to see that there's another Ranger....

To be continued. Tomorrow.

Fish: 3.5 The fish sure nudged a lot of plot points into place today.

Billy speak: There was a lot of borderline comments, but the only thing of note was "The activity disc is showing the combination of controls that Alpha coordinated."

Covered in: I did mention soaking wet Tommy and the lake, right?

Episode 73- Green No More Part 2

Oh god. I have been blinded by the fish. I wanted to like this episode, because it's the last episode of the green ranger era, except a)it puts us one step closer to the white ranger era and b)the sheer amount of fish in this episode is overwhelming.

So we start out with Tommy hiding by a Very Convenient boulder. The monster, who's name I can't remember, is taunting him and wandering around trying to find him. I still haven't figured out WHAT the monster is supposed to be, but it just looks like a deformed koopa troopa to me. I kept wanting Tommy to jump on it's back and then send it sliding across the big open field. Tommy does eventually attack and then runs away, finding a ravine to hide in.

Meanwhile, nobody can get through to Zordon and Zordon can't get through to anybody else. Apparently Zedd has put some kind of force field around the Command Center. It is slowly compressing and Zordon reveals this will eventually cause it to implode. Um. Okkaaayyyy...

So Zedd determines that his evil plan is going so well, he's going to taunt the rangers by letting them go so they can stand by and watch the koopa troopa monster tear apart Angel Grove. Apparently the evil rangers are supposed to do something eventually, but mostly they just stand there in the worst costumes ever. So Zedd releases the rangers and teleports them to the park. They can't morph for some reason. I don't know why, I don't know how, but whatever. They can't contact Zordon so Billy says they should all go to his lab so he can somehow break through the energy barrier. *sigh*

Meanwhile, Goldar shows up in the field to take over taunting Tommy. He's going to make Tommy pledge his allegiance to Zedd and the side of evil. He's going to do this with a handy little device that looks like an electric can opener with tubing. This device is so evil, it's going to work like the Mirror of Regret (which we haven't gotten to yet, I know, but just roll with me here). It's going to make Tommy want to join the side of evil because it's going to show him his past! The device delves deep and shows Tommy all the battles he's won and just how awesome he is. That's right. It shows him what a good job he's done FIGHTING EVIL. And this is going to make him want to join Goldar how? What? I don't get it.

Back at Billy's lab, Billy has really nice arms. And he's showing them off. Oh, and he's doing something technical with a computer, but mostly I just looked at his arms. The others are watching the news on tv and apparently it's been 24 hours since the monster started attacking? Only it really hasn't? But okay. Billy managed to lock on to the force field.

Back in the random field, Goldar is basically pulling a "Say my name, BITCH!" and Tommy's all "yeah, okay, you're..." and Goldar gets hopeful because really he'll take a Jason substitute if he absolutely has to, but then Tommy kills that hope by switching tactics and basically calling him a stupidhead. He does the most predictable kick, Goldar can't block anything for the fish in the shot, and then Tommy gets his hands on the electric can opener and zaps Goldar... somewhere. He then uses it to send a message to himself in the past. Only he doesn't send a message to himself. Instead he picks up a message of himself and said message HANDS HIM HIS COMMUNICATOR. That's right. A non-corporeal RECORDING handing over a physical object. Mind, there was no explanation for why Tommy didn't have his communicator in the first place, but I'm too distracted by the NON-CORPOREAL RECORDING passing over a physical object.

Amazingly, it works now and Tommy teleports himself to Billy's lab. Everybody is happy to see him, they all make it to the Command Center, and then there are even more fish. Because only a non-ranger can get through to Zedd's cave undetected. And Tommy, being drained of all his power, goes. And nobody sees him. So he destroys the kryptonite crystal. And the evil rangers demorph, have their spells broken, and teleport out of there all at once. Zedd cries in dismay.

Tommy joins the others back at the Command Center and then everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, morphs. Yes, including Tommy. Y'know, the non-ranger that was able to get into the base. The guy who had his powers drained completely by the koopa troopamonster's arse. He morphs. The show tries to distract you from the insane fish by giving a really long zord summoning sequence, but no worries, I'm on to them. I still see the fish everywhere. They're really piling up in this episode.

Somehow Zordon knows to use heat and then cold water to destroy the monster, but Tommy has to be eaten to do it. He hides in some watermelons, gets eaten, and then pulls a mega-heat blaster out of NOWHERE. Apparently he got it from Billy. What? When did he make that? How did he get it from Billy since he only found out what to do mid-fight? I'd do a headdesk here, but the fish are overflowing from this episode and I'm afraid I'd smack into one.

So Tommy blasts with heat from within, then Zack blasts with water from without, and then the monster dies. La la la.

Back at the Youth Center, the new bullies in town come walking in and Jason decides the best way to beat the bullies is to be their friends. Why they never try this with Bulk and Skull, I don't know, but my head hurts too much to think about it. So Jason gets up and pays for the sodas for the bullies. I'm too overcome by the fact that somebody paid for something ($4.50 for 5 sodas... damn but the 90's were cheap) to pay much attention to the rest of the episode, which apparently ended with a handshake.

List time:

*pushes fish out of the way* 5 fish. If our scale went higher, this would be higher.

Billy speak: "My communicator locked onto the electric force field surrounding the command center."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 68 - The Power Stealer

Today on Power Rangers - we link to a bunch of youtube clips and Kimberly's outfit is so awesome that even queenriley noticed. Plus, Tommy gets tied up a lot. (He and Dick Grayson should be friends. I feel that my Sims are going to need an update.)

Anyway, the actual episode begins with them having to clean up Angel Grove, even though we just did this thirty episodes ago. Man, Angel Grove must get dirty really fast. I guess that people don't bother to clean up unless people are organizing a whole big thing? Captain Planet does not approve!

This time the clean up club (not that they're calling it this, but we like to pretend that there's some continuity in the show) is being interviewed by a new reporter. For some reason, the Rangers in their civilian IDs are the ones that they're talking to. I guess Angel Grove is having a slow news day - maybe there haven't been any monster attacks yet this week? The reporter asks them if they think that there's any truth to the rumor that the Power Rangers will show up. The Rangers prove to be the worst liars ever.

Two questions arise from this - first, how did this rumor get started? The Rangers have clearly not said that they would go, and honestly, why would they bother? Superheroes never help clean things up. I read enough comics to know that. Second, why would they ask a random bunch of kids if they know the Rangers? Clearly, this means that the only people in Angel Grove who don't know their identities are Bulk and Skull, and honestly, I'm not that convinced that Skull doesn't know.

Also, they have a VCR and videotape. We are SO OLD.

Bulk and Skull come up with today's grand plan to unmask the Rangers - they are going to pull the rangers helmets off while they're on tv. Oh, boys, this isn't Scooby Doo. It doesn't work like that. Zedd also has a plan - he's going to unleash the Octophantom to capture the Rangers and drain their powers.

At the park, Tommy (in the most ridiculous pants ever) is being interviewed when Putties show up. Everyone runs away when Jason tells them to. Seriously, why is everyone following Jason's orders? Isn't anyone worried about him?

The camera keeps running while Tommy, Jason and Kim fight and then morph. This is clearly not going to end well. Tommy falls down a lot, and Tommy yells that it's a trap! and both of us fall over laughing. Tommy gets captured (and tied up - seriously, I'd forgotten how often that happens. Between this and Batman: The Animated Series, I apparently watched a lot of borderline inappropriate things as a child - Dic Grayson is the only character in existence who gets tied up more than Tommy does) and Jason and Kim teleport to the Command Center without destroying the tape. Bulk and Skull then take the camera to expose the Rangers identities.

You know, the fact that Zedd knows enough to try and remove Tommy first actually speaks well of him. It's easier to beat 5 Rangers than 6. Not a bad idea, really!

Lord Zedd decides to send his monster back down to vandalize Angel Grove (and ruin the Pacific Heritage monuments) in the hopes that the pollution will draw out the Rangers. No, Zedd, the people who should show up if you do that are Captain Planet and the Planeteers. But since they weren't available, the Rangers show up. Kimberly, Zack and Trini also get captured, and Billy figures out that the monster's weakness is that it is Gaston. In other words, it's weakness is mirrors. Again.

Billy needs to go build another mirror weapon, so Jason has to go fight the Octophantom (which is apparently a cross between an octopus and an elephant, although we feel this is wrong. It is actually Cthulhu.) Jason goes to fight by himself, and he tells the monster that he's not alone - his friends are with him in spirit and fights. Billy eventually shows up with a weird mirror shield (stopping the monster from catching Jason in the process. Because Billy is awesome.) and then rescues the others while Jason fights the monster. (Why the monster brought the captured Rangers with him, we don't know.) Tommy is so weak by this point that his green has faded to gray, and Billy forces Tommy to go to the Command Center. Because Tommy is useless.

Anyway, the monster grows, they summon the thunderzord, you know the drill.

Back at the Youth Center, we are reminded that Tommy's powers are failing. Bulk and Skull show up with their tape, which apparently they haven't bothered to watch themselves yet. Zack and Billy manage to switch the tapes, so when it goes on, they actually show a cartoon. Everyone laughs, and the Rangers mutter that this was a close one.

Fish: Two. Nothing really jumped out at us.

Questions: Why is this monster's weakness vanity? What does that have to do with an octopus?

Fic people should write us: Who would win in a fight? Captain Planet vs Lord Zedd
What would happen if Bulk and Skull had managed to expose the Rangers' identities?

Episode 34 - The Green Candle - Part 1

I am back from Dragon*con! I'm sorry for missing Saturday's recap, but I was busy having a fabulous time at the con. I went to a lot of panels including one where I talked about writing power rangers porn, and I did some shopping including buying two seasons of Power Rangers and basically I had a wonderful time. But now I am home, and mostly recovered, and it is time for a recap!

I've got to say, watching Power Rangers on the tv is so much better than watching it on youtube. Anyway, we open with Tommy and Zack sparring. Tommy is wearing the universe's most ridiculous shirt, although it is way better than some of his other outfits, and Zack has on those purple pants again. For some reason, Zack is encouraging Tommy to ask out Kimberly. Doesn't he know what will happen to her personality? And also, wait, they seriously aren't dating yet? Huh. (Also, the board that Tommy breaks during this conversation was clearly already broken.)

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita has a new plan to defeat the Power Rangers. Or at least get rid of Tommy. Apparently she has a candle made out of magic wax that will make him join her forever! She pulls out a tiny version of her wand and places it over a map of something that is definitely not California (seriously, Angel Grove is its own country) and tells it to locate Tommy.

While Rita is discussing her plans, Tommy is failing at sparring. Zack's cunning plan was to distract Tommy with thoughts of Kimberly! Tommy tells Zack that if it is so easy to ask someone out, why doesn't he try. Zack tries to impress Angela, and gets shot down, and I laugh a lot. Not that I'd be able to resist Zack. Oh, Zack, you can dance for me any time.

Bulk and Skull make fun of Tommy and Zack, reciting bad poetry about how no girl would ever go out with them. Then there is supposed wackiness that involves Bulk and Skull falling over and Zack and Tommy laugh at them, but seriously, why is it not season 2 yet so we can get some character development for those two?

Kimberly and Tommy are walking through the park. Tommy has changed shirts, but now the green of the shirt clashes with the green of his pants, so I'm not sure this is an improvement. Kim has a leotard on under her dress. (Look, there were some awesome cosplayers at the con, I am in a pay attention to the clothing type of place.) Tommy has just started to ask Kim a question, after a really awkward "Can I ask you a question?" "You can ask me anything, we're friends, right?" type conversation, when putties show up. Yay for cockblocking putties! As long as the one being cockblocked is Tommy, anyway.

There is a seriously awesome unmorphed fight scene, except somehow Kim's morpher gets dropped. Goldar shows up and takes Tommy to the dark dimension, and seriously, Kimberly is right there and has been separated from her morpher, and they just leave her? I know Rita is obsessed with Tommy, but I thought the point was to try and get rid of all the Rangers eventually. Evil is seriously dumb.

So Tommy is trapped in the Dark Dimension, with Kimberly still in the park screaming for Tommy, and Rita has apparently had Finster create a monster called Cyclops. I am really sad that it isn't Scott Summers. (You have no idea how badly I want the Power Rangers to fight the X-Men. I totally wrote a ridiculous AU fanfic where Billy and Kimberly turned out to be mutants when I was 11. It was awesome.) Instead the monster is a shape shifter with one eye. Not nearly as cool or as hardcore as Scott Summers.

After Tommy has been kidnapped, Zordon apparently managed to pay attention and the original five Rangers are in the Command Center, trying to locate the Dark Dimension. Seriously, didn't they manage to locate it during the Green With Evil Saga? Serious Zordon Fail.

Anyway, as they try to come up with a plan, the Dragon Zord starts attacking Angel Grove. Of course, since we were just told that Rita had a shape shifting monster 30 seconds ago, it is clearly not the Dragon Zord. Plus, Zordon says that it doesn't appear to be the Zord.

Tommy and Goldar are fighting, and there isn't nearly as much inappropriate Goldar/Tommy subtext as there is Goldar/Jason. Goldar has to go leave for some reason, so he uses the worst special effects ever to bind Tommy's hands, and Tommy just stands there, because apparently if your hands are in shackles you can't move at all or try to blow out the damn candle or whatever. (They keep stressing that when the candle burns down Tommy will work for Rita. Now, if they mean that the candle has to go out, that is one thing. But why not just blow out the damn candle so it doesn't burn down? Or else be more clear. Seriously, episode.) Tommy is seriously useless.

The other Rangers summon the Zords in the longest sequence ever, and my roommate walks into the room and says "Look! It's Voltron!" and then I miss most of the fight scene to try and explain the difference.

Goldar comes back and Tommy manages to steal his sword and teleport back to the park. Seriously? How does he know how to use that magic? I don't even know what is with that. Tommy tries to call his zord, but apparently his powers are weakening already or something. They don't quite defeat the Cyclops, because it will totally be back next episode. Whatever.

At the Command Center, Alpha is scanning Tommy, because apparently you can be damaged crossing dimensions. Did they scan Jason when he came back from the Dark Dimension? I'm pretty sure they did not. Jason remembers Rita's Dark Dimension as being a bad place, and I cannot stop giggling. There's a bullshit explanation for how the candle works, but basically Tommy touched the wax or something while he worked for Rita and that is how they are going to make him evil again. Everyone is very sad, and they're going to have to get the candle back.

To be continued, but not until tomorrow.


Fish: 3.5. It isn't quite as out there, but the logic about how the candle works, and leaving Kim behind like that is pretty bad.

Billy speak: "He's scanning Tommy for internal damage due to crossing dimensions."

Nobody gets covered in food, but Bulk nearly chokes on his own jacket. I don't even know.

Episode 33- The Yolk's On You

I'd like to take a moment to thank the lovely ladies at Tweenage Wasteland for bringing this to our attention. It's a video and the point of interest starts about a minute in. Apparently one of the Disney Tweeny Bopper stars grew up watching Power Rangers and he totally geeks out about it. His name is Sterling Knight, which I hope is a stage name, because otherwise... well... did his parents really hope he'd grow up to work in a gay strip club? Seriously? Sterling Knight... of all the things to name your kid. Anyway, I don't know much about him other than he's twenty years old and looks like he's twelve, and he rants about the cast change in season two. And he thinks Tommy is awesome when he's evil and Saba was cool. So there you go. Power Rangers in the mainstream.

As for tonight's episode, well, they probably should have just called it Monsters Addicted to Drugs and been done with it. Instead they bogged it down with this whole superfluous plot about the rangers being in a talent show.

First we see Jason and Tommy walking down a hallway that looks like the hallway outside of the Youth Center. They enter a room that looks suspiciously like the Youth Center. Except a stage has been added. This is apparently the theatre of Angel Grove High. That looks JUST LIKE the Youth Center. And Ernie is there for some reason. They were really short on sets first season, yeah? Anyway, Jason looks as if he's been thoroughly... um... enjoyed by Tommy. Tommy regretfully informs him that he's forgotten their karate belts and must go back and get them so once again, off he runs. Alone. Through the park. This... isn't going to end well, is it?

Meanwhile, Finster creates a monster and sends it to Earth. Rita flips out because she didn't know about it and didn't authorize it. It's okay though! It's Rita's birthday and the monster is Finster's present to her. AWWWWWWW! So freaking adorable.

Tommy runs through the park, alone, and sure enough, it doesn't end well. After doing some random martial arts against the leaves of a tree, Tommy is attacked for real by putties! Four of them! Oh no, whatever will he do! Uh... get beaten, of course. Despite being the best martial artist in all of Angel Grove, he can't handle four putties. He ends up tied up, yet again, by a hanging net with one putty holding his communicator and another holding his morpher. We assume he lost so easily because he's overtired and distracted by having just made hot, manly love to Jason. It's really the only logical explanation.

And here we get to the real meat of the story. The monster, named Fang, is in search of his gooney bird eggs. He needs them, you see. Unfortunately, Squat and Baboo have eaten them all. Fang FLIPS OUT. He goes ballistic and starts yelling and fighting. Goldar tells him the Power Rangers have his eggs and he goes running off looking for his fix.

Back at the talent show that is being held in the not-the-Youth Center, Billy is wearing a cowboy hat (and I am TRAUMATIZED by it I tell you, traumatized) and Bulk and Skull are adorably punk. Principal Caplan yells at them a lot and then the rangers run out to the not-the-Youth-Center-Hallway and answer their communicators. They learn that Tommy is all tied up AGAIN and they have to morph and go fight a monster. I'm wondering why anybody is surprised by Tommy getting tied up by putties anymore. It seems to happen on a fairly regular basis. He really ought to learn to carry a pocketknife or something.


The Rangers try to fight the monster, but Goldar is still there and he blasts them with some fire something and throws them off a cliff. They weren't standing near a cliff, but Angel Grove geography makes no sense and off they go. In Jason's case, twice. Yes, Jason got thrown off the top of the cliff twice. He's just talented like that.

We see Tommy again and he's trying to get out of the net. I was bothered by it earlier, but now I just want to yell. He needs to get himself to his hairstylist. What he's sporting now? It's atrocious. I don't give a rat's tuches about hair and even I know that boy needs some serious help. It's so... distractingly bad.

Rita shows up on Earth and talks to Fang. She promises to get him some eggs if he'll do her bidding and he's going through such withdraw pains right now that he would lick her feet if she told him there was gooney bird egg goo on them. She makes him grown and reveals that he is secretly Wolverine! His adamantium claws grow with him and we squee with delight. Since Batman already exists in the Power Rangers universe, now it is Marvel's turn (which makes sense since Disney just bought Marvel) this totally works. The Rangers call their Zords, wonder where Tommy is, and after what seems to be the longest MegaZord sequence in existence, they attempt to fight Fang. Poor guy just wants his fix, however, and can't stop talking about those darn gooney bird eggs.

Tommy gets out of the net and shows up to the fight, late as usual, and they call Titanus just in time to stop Fang from destroying the dam. Where the dam came from, we don't know. Why they thought Fang wanted to destroy the dam, we also don't know. Fang just wants his gooney bird eggs. This whole mess could have been avoided if they'd just given him some eggs or checked him into rehab. It would have been much easier than summoning three zord combinations and then blowing him up. Which is what they had to do.

Back at the talent show they discuss the fight backstage with Ernie standing right there. Secret identity FAIL, Rangers! Anyway, Tommy and Jason do some coordinated martial arts and everybody oohs and aahs as if they've never seen Jason and Tommy do martial arts before. They walk off stage with Tommy's arm around Jason's waist. Luckily Zack doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps he's moved on. Bulk and Skull get a turn next. They do a pretty decent punk routine, and I actually really liked it, but the rest of the audience... doesn't. Surprise surprise. Kimberly claps for them, at least.

Overall, this was a pretty consistent episode! Only 2 fish for this one.

List time:
covered in food- Nobody!
Billy speak- none, but at least he didn't sing country *shudder*, so I can live without the Billy speak.

Episode 29- Wheel of Misfortune

Oh this was just painful to watch. Really really painful. It would have been easier to get through it with beer, but alas, we're out.

This episode starts with a play rehearsal. In a classroom. With some props and costumes already. So it's a dress rehearsal, except they're not on a stage. There are no stagehands, no set decorators working away on the backdrops, not even a drama teacher! The drama student in me weeps with everything that is wrong with this episode.

So Kimberly is playing Nameless Poor Maiden. Jason is the evil king making her spin straw into gold. Bulk is Rumpelstiltskin. Billy is the director. Skull is some kind of jester. The rest have no part. Principal Caplan is in charge of the kids... I guess he's the drama teacher too? I just... oh this is bad.

Bulk plays around too much with the props and breaks the spinning wheel. Kim freaks out because it belongs to her grandmother and it's an antique. Uh... then why did you bring it to school to be used as a prop, Kim??? Seriously? At least Bulk, who had been mean, had the tact to look as if he felt bad for breaking it.


She freaks out and whines to Ernie at the Youth Center. Tommy says he can fix the spinning wheel. Sure he can. All teenage boys are well versed in the operations of antique spinning wheels. *sigh* They go back to the school and discover it's missing. Kim freaks out again and they rush to the Youth Center to ask if anyone has seen it. Uh... the Youth Center? Didn't they think to ask around at, I don't know, the SCHOOL? Where the spinning wheel was being kept? I guess not. Anyway, nobody has seen it and not once does Kim, Ms. this-earthquake-must-be-Rita's-doing, suspect Rita might have taken it. I shudder as half a season of character development just falls away before my very eyes.

At least while she's being mopey, the other Rangers come to cheer her up by mocking her affectionately and lovingly. It was really rather cute.

Tommy is alone in the park. This always means trouble. He is attacked by putties and after groping one, he stops mid fight to strike a pose. I just want to look at him and say "C'mon, do it, VOGUE.". He does this just about every fight. And every fight I get Madonna stuck in my head. Thanks, Tommy.

The putties capture him and tie him to a bridge. Meanwhile, Zordon contacts the Rangers to let them know Tommy has been captured. He was paying attention! He knew what was going on as it happened! He even knew about Kim's spinning wheel going missing! Zordon for the win! They find him tied to a tree, though, and we're not sure how the putties moved him there without him escaping, but whatever. They can't rescue him, however, because they have to go fight Goldar and Scorpina. Yay! Goldar and Scorpina! And Rita's on Earth! And makes them grow! Finally something that makes sense!

But wait, the Rangers must immediately call the Zords and then Jason in the Tyrannosaurus ends up tangled up in a net. The others just kind of stand around and watch while he yells at them to get away lest they be captured as well. They lament Tommy's absence because apparently they can't beat Goldar and Scorpina on their own, despite having done so pretty much all season thus far. Tommy escapes just in time, thank goodness, and joins the fight. They free Jason and his Zord and call on Titanus to form the UltraZord. The fight is almost over and they get attacked by the spinning wheel. Finally. They beat it pretty easily with the UltraZord and the fight is over.

The spinning wheel magically appears back in the classroom and it's all repaired and working fine again. We then get to see acting worse than even my four year old is capable of while Kim, Jason, and Bulk try to act out a very very messed up version of Rumpelstiltskin. Seriously, they all wish her good luck in the middle of the play, she calls Rumpelstiltskin by his name to get him to show up, and then promises to kiss him if he'll spin the three piles of straw into gold. Way to screw up the fairy tale, Power Rangers!

Bulk's pants split open in the middle of the play while his rear-end if facing the audience and every single adult in the room laughs at him. I'm disgusted. The end.

Lists-

Five fish, solid. Just... this was painful. Ridiculous and horribly painful.

No Billy speak. He was barely in this.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull had some mini-food fight in the Youth Center at one point, but neither of them really got covered in anything.

Questions we want answered: Why, if they needed a spinning wheel, did they not have the Rangers do the play Sleeping Beauty? Seriously? It would have been so much more awesome if Rita had made the spinning wheel prick Tommy's finger and he fell asleep.

Also, TSB would like to see the Rangers doing karaoke to Vogue. I'm intrigued.