Episode 254- Shell Shock

It's the Ninja Turtle episode. Even Emo Kid was confused by this episode, spending most of it asking "But WHY are the Ninja Turtles on Power Rangers?".

Somehow the Turtles know about Astronema being the Princess of Evil. Raphael insists the Power Rangers are just comic book characters. Astronema decides they're going to work for her and puts them under a spell. THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT.

But I do still love this theme song. *is a dork*

Andros explains the galaxy gliders, but the lesson gets turned into a crash course when they have to ride them down to Earth because Astronema is going after the power plant. For having never ridden the gliders before, the Earth rangers are astonishingly adept.

They confront the monster, but the turtles show up first and I kind of love that Ashley is the first one to point out who they are? But the rest of the fight is just... weird. WHY ARE THE TURTLES HERE? I JUST DON'T GET IT. Are they from an alternate dimension? Because I can't figure out how this works.

Andros is suspicious. He's not entirely sure about giving a lift to talking mutated turtles. The others don't care and drag them up to the ship against his wishes. They give the turtles the complete tour, with full answers to classified information and everything. Somehow nobody but Andros picks up on the fact that they are asking A LOT of questions about the MegaShip. Deka detects a hacker and Andros rushes to her rescue, but he's too late. Wires are snipped and the turtles turn her to their side. Somehow. By snipping some wires. Or something. Whatever... this is the least of the fishy bits in the episode.

Astronema teleports in and takes control. The rangers are all confused because their new pizza loving friends have turned on them. Astronema ties up the rangers in glowy ropes of doom and Andros has to use his super awesome telekinetic powers to get some bolt cutters over to snip those ropes of doom. They hijack the shuttle in order to get free and the turtles give hot pursuit. Somehow they hide the shuttle in a reverse polarized magnetic field out in space. SOMEHOW. I DON'T KNOW HOW. THE SCIENCE HERE IS... NOT. I STILL DON'T GET THIS EPISODE. WTF IS EVEN GOING ON?!?!?!

Amazingly the magnetic field broke the spell on the turtles. They are good turtles now who try to stop Astronema and then have to fix the ship so it doesn't self destruct. They manage to do this simply by reconnecting the two wires they snipped in the first place which somehow aborts the self destruct sequence immediately without any further input. THIS REALLY SHOULD NOT WORK. I HATE THIS EPISODE.

So then they team up and fight and it's boring and stupid and makes no sense. The rangers take the turtles back to New York. How this works I do not know. Someone(s) had to be higher than a kite when they conceived this plot, wrote this episode, and then filmed and edited it. THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION I WILL ACCEPT.

5 fish. All the fish of the season.

Side note: Why oh why does the female turtle have BREASTS on her plastron (bottom of the shell)? She's a reptile. Not a mammal. This bothers me maybe more than it should.

And special guest viewer Emo Kid has requested twice that we watch a different episode. BECAUSE THIS IS JUST THAT BAD. SPD time now. Because I need something good after THAT mess.

Episode 89 - Goldar's Vice-Versa

Warning - potential triggers

Oh my God, you guys, I love this episode so much. I have so much fanon in regards to this episode, and I'm going to do my best to try and keep all of my ridiculous theories (Scorpina/Adam! Adam/Rocky/Aisha!poly relationship) to the point that they aren't entirely overwhelming the recap. Since you know, there's an actual plot. (Switching with wouldn't help, because I have just as much headcanon for Mirror of Regret.)

Anyway, we get a new opening, and there is much flailing as we take in the shots of the Stone Canyon Trio, and then some booing as we note that THAT SHOT of Kim is still in the opening. If I had any skill of editing vids, I would totally redo this opening so that the whole Kim fainting thing was not in there. But sadly I don't.

The actual episode begins, and apparently Rocky stole a pair of Jason's pants. Well, that isn't the important thing. The important thing is that Rocky and Adam are sparring, and I love them both so much. Seriously, so pretty. I would watch 22 minutes of them sparring.

Sadly, the demonstration is quickly over, and Billy shows up, and Adam and Rocky are disappointed that he missed their demonstration. Billy apologizes, saying he had a meeting with the vice-versa dance committee. Wait, Billy is on a dance committee? Really? Shouldn't that be Kim?

While we're boggling at that, Rocky explains the concept of a vice-versa dance, saying it's nice that the girls have to ask the guys. (Oh, honey, please stop trying to act. You're so lucky you're pretty.) We don't know why they didn't use the term Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Rocky says he's been invited to go by Jessica Peterson, who will never be mentioned again. Adam is sad, because nobody asked him to go to the dance and he doesn't expect anyone to. It is entirely possible that my response was "Oh honey, I would go to the dance with you." It is entirely possible that there were more caps involved. Billy tells him to cheer up, because nobody has asked him yet either. Cue an appearance of Laura from that really boring episode involving the Angelettes or whatever. We liked Marge much better. She asks Billy to the dance, and he is pleased. So tactless, Billy.

Bulk and Skull are hiding from the amazing female bullies, who want to ask them to the dance. We absolutely love the female bullies. Do they have names? Is there fic about them? We would like them a lot better if the show didn't show some fatphobia again, but we're going to ignore that, to go back to the drama about Adam's love life, which I find way more interesting.

Adam is still sulking about not having a date. But honestly, he just moved to Angel Grove a week before, so it isn't that unreasonable, especially since he's really shy. And since Aisha never has a date in this episode, I maintain that the only reason he doesn't ask her is because he and Rocky have both agreed not to, and Aisha seems really invested in finding him a date.

Up on the moon, Zedd has decided that HE will find a date for Adam. You know, Zedd's matchmaking service would actually be pretty awesome. I'm really not quite sure what his plan is, but in my head it basically goes "Have Adam hook up with Scorpina. Seduce Adam to dark side. Profit." Of course, the show fails in execution, but it is still so awesome that I don't even care.

The next day, Aisha (in a really adorable little yellow dress. The fashion is so much better this season) shows up at Adam's locker to ask Adam if he's found a date yet. He says no, and he'll probably just stay home and read. (I love that he's a bookworm. Also, so adorable. Also, they were so about to kiss.) Aisha tells him that is not acceptable, and asks if he knows Sarah Diaz. He says yes, she's on the volleyball team, and he is then instructed (Aisha is very good at bossing him around) to go to the park after school, and Sarah will ask him to the dance.

Meanwhile, over at Skull's locker, Bulk is all excited because someone slipped a note in his locker, telling him to meet after school, as the note writer has what he is looking for. Bulk asks Skull (who is inexplicably wearing an eyepatch) if he knows what this means, and Skull rightly says that someone has his locker combination. Bulk instead points out that it means that someone knows the true identities of the Power Rangers!

After school, Adam looks at Sarah from atop a hill, trying to work up the courage to talk to her. He starts listing things about her "pretty, smart, athletic" and he seems calm enough, until he gets to "female" and then he panics. Oh, Adam. We know, you wanted to go with Rocky. Zedd is horrified, because if Adam gets a date, it will ruin everything. So he sends down a giant group of putties, and man, JYB is really good at this. This was an awesome unmorphed fight scene. There should be more of these. By the time Adam is done dusting all the putties, Sarah is gone, and he is sad.

At the school, Bulk and Skull nervously look out the door of detention, only to see the female bullies are standing there. They are both terrified, and they decide that they would rather not know the true identities of the Power Rangers than face the girls. Instead, they go out the window.

Later, Adam is sitting at a table, bitching to Kim and Aisha about his girl problems. I would totally read an entire fic of the three of them gossiping about their boy problems, why doesn't this exist yet? Kim is sympathetic, but then leaves, and there's a minor commotion, because there is a martial artist who is doing something, and you know how Angel Grove feels about martial arts! Adam and Aisha both fail to recognize the girl, and therefore assume that she's new, even though they've only been in Angel Grove for a week or so.

After she's done performing, the girl walks directly to Adam, introduces herself as Sabrina, and then shoves her gym bag in Aisha's face. She says she's new, and then goes on to compliment Adam's martial arts skills, in a blatant attempt to get in his pants. However, she's made one fatal miscalculation, and she's annoyed Aisha. Really, Scorpina should know - if you Adam's lover, you gotta get with his friends. Adam is totally taken in by her. He makes plans to go on a hike with Sabrina, but since Aisha doesn't seem convinced that she's acceptable, Adam invites her to go along.

Look, the thing is, this is a date. Adam is going on a date with Sabrina. And he invites Aisha along. There are only four possibilities here. 1-Adam is unaware this is a date. 2-Adam is too clueless to see that bringing along Aisha on a date is completely unacceptable behavior. Possibly because he's new to the idea of dating girls 3-Adam and Aisha (and Rocky) are in an open relationship that has all sorts of rules, one of them being that Aisha and Rocky have to approve all other potential partners. #4 Adam and Rocky were dating, but are just too nervous to go to a dance together, and that Aisha just wants both of her boys to be happy. (I would totally read fic about ideas #3 and #4)

While this drama is going on, Ernie hands Bulk and Skull a note saying that "We still have what you've been looking for" and that instructs them to wait five minutes. But almost immediately, the female bullies come in, and Bulk and Skull hide behind the counter rather than talk to them. Bulk and Skull completely fail to put two and two together, but we do get to hear the thin female bully refer to Bulk as her "hunka-hunka-Bulky-love" and then I fall over laughing. That was amazing.

On the actual date, Sabrina is all pissy that Adam brought Aisha along, and I honestly can't blame her. But Adam basically tells her that he and Aisha are a package deal and Sabrina sulks. Zedd, however, is completely pleased, because he gets two Rangers for the price of one! So Goldar goes down to attack them, and while I'm discussing fish, why is this episode called Goldar's vice-versa anyway? I mean, seriously.

So Goldar shows up, and Adam tells Sabrina to run, but she refuses, and instead laughs and turns into Scorpina, mocking him. (Have I mentioned that I kinda ship Adam/Scorpina, in a bad and wrong type way? Because I do, in the same way I ship Goldar/Jason. It is entirely possible that I've got a 20,000 word fic in the works. I don't even know.) Adam and Aisha get tied up with the glowing rope of bondagey doom, and they are unable to reach their morphers! Oh noes! So they are both tied to a tree while Goldar and Scorpina stand laughing over them. (I am going to write bad and wrong fic about what happens next. Unless someone else wants to.)

Anyway, at the Youth Center, Kim and Billy are preparing for the dance. Ms. Applebee shsows up, and Kim tells her how excited she is that Adam is going to the dance with the new girl. Why is she talking to the teacher about this anyway? But apparently Ms. Applebee knows everyone in school, even though we've determined that Angel Grove is its own country. Apparently the last new girl in school was Aisha, and Kimberly and Billy are suspicious. A few seconds later, Rocky and Tommy show up, asking if they know where Adam is, since he was supposed to be sparring with them, and he's late. Um. How long have they been gone? How long as Adam expecting the date to be? How has Zordon not noticed? Why are the fish suddenly attacking my amazing episode?

So yeah, they go to the Command Center, and Zordon checks in on them, only to discover that oops, they've been tied to a tree. Zordon FAIL. Rocky doesn't know who Scorpina is, but he is very concerned about his girlfriend and boyfriend. Tommy explains Sscorpina as being "bad news" and just saying that he's glad that they haven't had to encounter her before. The SCT have been Rangers for like a day, when were they supposed to encounter her?

Anyway, there's a big rescue attempt, and Rocky is very concerned for Adam and Aisha. Tommy fights Goldar and Scorpina by himself since he's a glory hog, and Billy uses his mighty lance to cut Adam and Aisha free. Aisha is really pissed at Scorpina, and she gets to say the Morphin call, which pleases me.

Zedd has Goldar and Scorpina grow, and there's a long Zord summoning sequence, and I don't actually care about any of this part. Can we get back to Adam's love life? No? Fine. They summon Tor, and the combination of that Zord makes no sense at all, but I'm just going to ignore it. I mean, I fail to see how standing on top of Tor gives extra power or whatever. But Scorpina and Goldar teleport out, and I'm fairly sure this is the last time we see Scorpina, which is sad. I want so much more fic about her and Adam. Or her and Aisha. I'm just saying, make this happen, internet!

At the dance, Adam is all by himself, as is Aisha. They should be going together. Adam says it's not as bad as he thought, being here alone, and Tommy makes a joke about how he could have been here with Scorpina. Also, Tommy can't dance.

Sarah shows up, and Adam asks where her date is. She says that she doesn't have one, and Aisha pokes at Adam and demands that he ask her to dance, which he does, and he's really dorky and adorable and I kinda love him. (But um, the point of this was for the GIRL to ask the BOY. That is NOT HOW IT WORKS.)

Ernie goes over to Bulk and Skull, and hands them another note, and tells them that he's not their assistant. This time, the note says to turn around, and directly behind them are the female bullies! Bulk and Skull ask them what they could possibly have that they want (and at this point I fall over laughing again) and the girls reply "true love!" and begin to dance with Bulk and Skull.

Somehow while this is going on, Billy and Rocky have ditched their dates so that they could stand by the other Rangers and laugh at Bulk and Skull.

I love this episode SO MUCH.

Fish - 3. A few things made us pause and rant, but overall this was amazing.

Fic people should write us - SO MUCH ADAM/SCORPINA. Also, Adam/Rocky/Aisha discussing this episode. And the Adam/Kim/Aisha gossip hour.

Episode 84 - The Ninja Encounter Part 3

Previously, on Power Rangers - absolutely nothing happened. Really, I've seen these episodes a dozen times (this is what happened when I decide to write 10,000 words of fic about them) so I've looked for something that happens in them. It's like they used up all the actual plot and dialogue for the first part, and then they realized that this was supposed to be a three parter, and put something together at the last second.

Adam/Rocky/Aisha are still in the cave. And you know, I love them all so much, but man, the acting in this is so bad. And we get some more ridiculous dialogue "I never imagined I'd use my abilities for evil." Really, Rocky? That's even more cheesy than Adam's earlier line. I choose to believe that Rocky is making fun of Adam.

Meanwhile, Bulk is playing with baby Jacob in the park, making silly faces at him and asking him "who's a punky monkey?" Skull arrives with like 10 boxes of diapers, and was going to explain the advantages of cloth diapers or whatever, but I will spare you the lecture. :P We get a really long sequence of Bulk ripping the diapers as he tries to change Jacob, and they eventually uses Skull's bandanna. Oh, and Bulk gets squirted in the face. With water from Jacob's bottle. ;)

Back at the Command Center, Billy manages to unfreeze everyone, so they go fight the monster and summon the zords again. But now they're nearly too late, as the snake is about to infuse Aisha with the venom of evil, so Zordon decides that it is finally more important to rescue the three teens and their teacher, so he pulls everyone but Jason and Zack away from the fight. So, they can operate the Zord with two people? And why didn't they just take the thirty seconds earlier? Why are there so many fish in this episode? Why isn't Rocky shirtless? These are the important questions we need to ponder right now!

Kim and Tommy go fight the putties while Trini and Billy go rescue my OT3. Aisha, despite having been told not to make any sudden movements, whirls around to yell that the Power Rangers are there, but the snake doesn't bite her. It's a failbot, that snake. Billy pulls the snake off of them, and wrestles around with it on the ground. Trini shoots the chains that are tying them up, and then teleports out Mr. Anderson, while Rocky/Adam/Aisha go join the fight with the putties. (Why she doesn't teleport the three of them as well? We guess the fish told her not to.)

Kim tells them to aim for the Z, and then the three of them immediately begin to beat up the putties, because they are awesome. And I would seriously just watch more of them fighting. I love how Aisha is told to aim for the Z and carefully aims her fist at a putty that is jumping at her so he destroys himself. I love how awesome Adam is at fighting. I love that Rocky isn't wearing a shirt under his vest. So, all the Putties are destroyed, and they realized Billy still hasn't emerged from the cave. Because he is rolling around on the ground with the snake, talking about how it can't bite him.

Kimberly shouts Billy's name, and she and Tommy run over to him. Kimberly shoots the snake, and it vanishes, and for some reason Billy can't breathe, so they take off his helmet. We don't know why. But we do know that Billy seems remarkably better after his face ends up in her lap.

But oh no! The Stone Canyon Trio has seen Billy's face (and you know, heard Kim call his name.) The other two take off their helmets, and everyone is shocked! SHOCKED! (On a related note, I love how you could clearly see that Tommy's hair was not tucked into the helmet. Fail!

Meanwhile, Zack and Jason destroy the monster. And Trini leaves Mr. Anderson at the bottom of a hill, telling him that baby!Jacob is up at the top.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells the Trio that he has investigated their backgrounds, and he trusts them as they are all wholesome and good, and are clearly used to keeping secrets since they're all dating each other. They swear upon the forces of goodness not to reveal the Rangers' identities.

Back at the Park, Bulk and Skull are telling Mr Anderson about how the Rangers once saved them. Aisha winks at Kim and says the Power Rangers saved them too. Subtle, Aisha. Real subtle. Bulk and Skull want to interview everyone, but then they run away after Mr. Anderson asks them to babysit.

Fish: 4. Not quite as ridiculous as part 2, but still pretty bad. Seriously, if it only lived up to the awesomeness that was part 1...

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water. At least they didn't go for the obvious joke.

Billy speak: "I've boosted the stimulator to maximum capacity, but it's not working."

Episode 83 - The Ninja Encounter Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Bulk and Skull take care of a tiny child, and I have an OT3. Luckily for all of you, I am recapping the middle part in which absolutely nothing happens, and that means that I will not be allcapsing at you about my love of Adam nearly as much as I would if I'd had the first part. But seriously, we could skip this episode, because absolutely nothing happens in it. It is boring and stupid and filled with fish, and also Adam is only in it for like 30 seconds.

So, the Stone Canyon Trio are being held in the cave. Zedd sends down a monster, and the footage of him summoning it looks remarkably like the Spit Flower. So Jason/Zack/Trini go use some new form of teleportation called Jetting (which is just flying, whatever) to go fight the Terror Blossom, while Kim/Tommy/Billy go rescue the Stone Canyon Trio. It is very important that the trio is rescued, because Zordon points out that they are very talented. I am sure they are. (I love them so much, have you noticed?)

Speaking of the Stone Canyon Trio, Aisha apparently sucks at picking locks, because she's still working on it. (Her ability to pick locks in this episode is totally why I put her on the criminal career track in the Sims. She lives in a house with Rocky and Adam, and all three of them are in love with each other, which is a problem because the Sims 2 doesn't let you have poly!relationships, so every now and then one of them will catch the other two making out and then they'll slap each other and I have to make them all be in love again. Anyway.) But Mr Anderson tells them not to do anything, because they'll just antagonize the monsters. So instead of being proactive and trying to escape, they should just wait around to be turned evil. Great advice, teacher man!

Anyway, it is very clear that Jason/Trini/Zack are gone, because they get their asses kicked really quickly, as the Terror Blossom summons the hatchosaurus. So just as Kim/Billy/Tommy arrive at the Cave of Captivity/Despair/whatever they're calling it this week, they have to all three leave Adam/Rocky/Aisha behind to go help the other Rangers, even though one of them could clearly have stayed behind to rescue the Stone Canyon Trio. But no.

There is a ridiculously long Zord sequence, and this entire episode is so unnecessary, I can't even deal. They fight and blow up the Hatchosaurus, but wait! It still has the cardiotron thing, just like last time, so it reforms! I am so shocked that they remember that this monster existed. But why is this even happening? It is entirely unnecessary. And why does Zedd keep recreating Rita's monsters, anyway? Weren't they inferior to his?

Back at the cave, Aisha finally finishes picking the lock, and the Trio attacks the putties. They are so awesome, I can't even tell you. But then Goldar teleports back in and ties them back up with the golden glowy rope of bondage doom, and he makes a note to tie them tightly and then he leaves behind a wooden serpent that is going to fill them with the venom of darkness, and I am just saying - there should totally be more porn in this fandom. (I am refraining from copying my all caps insanity, you can thank me later.) Oh, and Rocky hates snakes.

So, the Rangers destroy the Cardiotron, and it is way easier than last time. A fish must have helped them out or something. They head back to the Command Center instead of immediately going to rescue the Stone Canyon Trio. And oh look, Zedd has sent down another monster, so everyone splits up again. And right before Billy/Kim/Tommy are about to go into the cave to rescue Adam/Rocky/Aisha, Trini/Jason/Zack are frozen by the Terror Blossom, so they need to go off and save them first. This ENTIRE EPISODE is unnecessary. They quickly teleport the frozen Rangers back to the Command Center, and then Kim and Tommy just stand around while Billy tries to figure out the science stuff.

Back at the cave, the wooden serpent is come to life and is coiled around Aisha, who is freaking out. They are running out of time, but at least the episode ends on a look of concern on Adam's face. He is so pretty.

I would just like to point out that I kept my flailing down to a minimum for this. HA.

Fish - FIVE. SO MANY FISH. WHY DOES THIS EPISODE EXIST AT ALL?

Episode 82- The Ninja Encounter Part 1

OMG IT'S STONE CANYON TRIO TIME! I am very much going to miss Jason, Zack, and Trini, of course. But I adore Rocky, Adam, and Aisha too much to not love these episodes. And I think we all know 's feelings on the subject.

So we open on Angel Grove Park with our group of six rangers. They're hanging out and jamming to some music on a huge radio. I feel old. Even more telling, Tommy is wearing green. How very random and not at all a cover for using old footage due to no longer having Thuy Trang, Walter Jones, and Austin St. John on the payroll. *cough* Ahem.

Anyway, so then we see some wholesome looking teenagers rollerblading down the sidewalk. They stop and say hello to Mr. Anderson. No, not THAT Mr. Anderson, but rather a middle aged teacher from Stone Canyon High. Mr. Anderson is pushing his son in a stroller and discuses the upcoming ninja tournament. Later, on a park bench, Mr. Anderson is sitting with Jacob, his son. His toddler son. His roughly 18 months to 2 years old son. And he's just... sitting. On the bench. Quietly. Who is this toddler and what drugs did they give him to sit still for that long? Drama Queen and Emo Kid both could never sit still for that long at that age... heck, at 8 and 4 they still can't. So Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler Jacob pushes his stroller and it runs into some motorcycles. The trio of Bad Teens confront Mr. Anderson (and dear lord, I will never hear that name without hearing it in Hugo Weaving's voice), who then puts Jacob in the stroller and apologizes for what happened, despite the fact that flimsy plastic stroller rolling at about 2 miles an hour down a hill does NO DAMAGE to a freakin motorcycle.

And I think we all know what happens next. The stroller, with Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler gets bumped and takes off rolling down the sidewalk! Unattended! Oh noes! Whoever will save the freakishly quiet toddler?!?! Who will stop him as he careens down... grassy hills? Seriously? Has anybody on set ever bothered to push a stroller, particularly over grass? They don't move well, quickly, or easily. It takes a lot of effort. But despite, the stroller runs away and we are wondering who will ever save this poor not-of-this-world baby? Why, Rocky, Adam, and Aisha will give it a go! They hear Mr. Anderson scream for Jacob and take off blading towards the runaway stroller. Luckily, Kim, Billy, and Tommy also hear the screams for help and they take off running too. As the stroller goes shooting past Bulk and Skull, with the Stone Canyon Trio knocking into Skull who hits a hot dog vendor who squirts something all over Bulk, Bulk and Skull realize a baby is in distress and THEY join the chase as well. There is lots of physically impossible stunts from both the actors and the stroller (seriously, they don't come with a steering wheel... they can't just veer around trees like that). Aisha and Kim both get launched into the air and grab hold of the stroller just as it gets ready to careen off a cliff. They pick up Jacob and hand him over to Mr. Anderson, who has finally caught up. Bulk and Skull, satisfied the child is safe, collapse onto a picnic table, out of breath from the chase.

Mr. Anderson takes Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler away and our Ranger Trio get to know the Stone Canyon Trio. Adam and Aisha alternately hold hands, when Adam isn't staring at Kim's breasts. But frankly, we can't blame him. Who wouldn't want to stare at her breasts? The Ranger Trio ask if the Stone Canyon Trio are there to watch the Ninja Competition and they are not even remotely subtle when they answer "Something like that". They then make fun of Bulk and Skull some and that makes me sad because y'know, they were just trying to help and did literally nothing to provoke it. It's not nice to make fun of people who are genuinely trying to HELP.

We jump ahead to the actual ninja competition and we see the back of people who are obviously not Thuy Trang, Walter Jones, and Austin St. John. It's like they didn't even TRY. The ninja competition is more a case of martial arts in a ninja suit than ninja-like. I would have expected a test on stealth or ability to silently scale walls or something, but instead it's just a lot of jumping around and kicking with their faces covered. The team in black plays really dirty and the team in white is wholesome and rule abiding and they win. Of course, our wholesome ninjas just happen to be our wholesome rollerblading Stone Canyon Trio! Mr. Anderson stands up and hands Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler over to Bulk so he can cheer for his students. Mind, why he can't cheer while holding his kid I don't know, but whatever. The Stone Canyon Trio are very excited and hold their trophy high while Rocky gropes Adam in the middle of the ring. He's totally thinking "I'm going to pounce on you in the locker room." and Adam seems quite pleased with this plan.

Outside, our Ranger Trio are congratulating the Stone Canyon Trio and they all agree to hang out together sometime VERY VERY SOON. The Ranger Trio heads out while Mr. Anderson puts Jacob in the car and the Stone Canyon Trio get ready to leave with him. But wait! Zedd wants to capture these awesome ninja teens and use them for his own nefarious purposes, so he sends down Goldar to wrap them all up in the Glowing Rope of Doom (and bondage)! The Ranger Trio turns to help but then get attacked by a pyramid of putties. So they fight the putties while Goldar grabs Mr. Anderson and then disappears. Bulk and Skull, having seen this, immediately go to make sure "the baby" is okay. He is fine, but sitting in the most atrocious carseat ever. I know 90's safety was lax compared to what we have today, but Holy Internal Decapitation Risk Batman! Jacob is sitting in a shield booster, which is deadly, and no harness. For a kid who is supposed to be under 2, that's... frightening. Emo Kid was 4 before he turned forward facing and he's still in a harness. Drama Queen was over 6 before getting out of a harness and into a booster, and she's still in a high back booster at nearly 9. And in the early 90's, it was appropriate to put toddlers in what amounts to a death trap (though for the record, I was in a harness until I was 4... in the very early 1980's... so it's not like the safe seats weren't available, it's just that most people didn't know better). I feel really really old now.

Uh, anyway, my rant aside, we move on to Bulk and Skull walking off with Jacob to keep him safe. It's freaking ADORABLE. The Ranger Trio see that everybody has been taken and immediately contact Zordon. They appear in a very bad combination of new footage where they look off screen at the non-existent Jason, Zack, and Trini and old footage where everybody is on screen. Except there is a huge discrepancy in quality between the old footage and the new footage so... yeah. Anyway. The Stone Canyon Trio and Mr. Anderson are all chained up in a cave. Rocky doesn't know who Lord Zedd is and Adam says they'll (atrocious dialogue alert!) never use their powers for evil. Rocky is wearing a vest with no shirt underneath. I feel his removing this vest would vastly help the escape plan they are formulating. Not that I'm biased or anything...

In the park, Bulk and Skull are trying to entertain Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler. He is... unnaturally calm. And quiet. Skull tells him to go fetch a squishy cube, but he is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Bulk pulls out a grocers worth of food from a bag, but he is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Skull pulls out a bottle and squirts milk all over Bulk on accident and Jacob is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Bulk and Skull sing I'm a little teapot and it's ADORABLE! But Jacob is still unnaturally calm and quiet. Seriously, this little kid is freaking me out. It's just... toddlers don't sit still! Toddlers don't have a volume control! This kid is FREAKY.

Back in the cave, the Stone Canyon Trio have come up with a plan. Before they can do anything, Aisha must pull a Very Convenient bobby pin from her hair and pick the lock. She PICKS THE LOCK people. Because she is AWESOME. And somehow knows how. And as she's doing so, we get a big To Be Continued...

List time!

Good lord that was a lot of "plot" for one episode.
2 fish. It was consistent! It had plot! It was Very Very Pretty!

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: Bulk in something from a hot dog stand and milk

Episode 51- Grumble Bee

My little shipper heart absolutely DELIGHTS in this episode. I think I've watched it more often than any other PR episode in it's entire seventeen season run.

So we start out remembering that Angel Grove lacks quality education because Mrs. Applebee, portraying the role of Science Teacher Applebee, is handing out test results. She apologizes to Billy as she hands him his test. He got a B. He's heartbroken! Mrs. Applebee reminds the class that they need top grades to get into the Young Scientists of America Club. Poor Billy is so distraught he can't even be bothered to pick up his backpack, instead dragging it along the ground behind him. He laments his sad, sad little B and Kim attempts to reassure him that a B is still a wonderful grade. After all, she gets them all the time. He appreciates the effort, but he has apparently never in his life ever gotten a B before. I must wonder why he's not in honours classes, advanced a few grades, or gotten his doctorate by this point. Bulk and Skull are mean and tease him, but he can't even give them what for. Poor Billy is the emo-est of all Emo Rangers for just this one episode. Poor little Emo Ranger.

Jason says Billy should take a break and go play some basketball, but I have to wonder if Jason has ever actually paid attention to Billy before. Billy isn't the type to relax and unwind with SPORT. He's just... not. Trini offers to help him "study" and Billy immediately cheers up. Yes, Trini helps him "study" rather a lot apparently. He brightens up so much there is no way it's anything BUT a euphemism. Oh, I'm sorry, was my OTP bias showing a bit there? Let me just go tuck that in.

So Billy and Trini go off to "study" and we discover Billy missed ONE question on the test (what, where there like five questions on a two page test? We assume Mrs. Applebee just asks really long, drawn out questions... or can't do math). The question he missed was about bee classification in the insect kingdom.

Meanwhile, Jason, Zack, and Kim are playing basketball. Putties attack, of course, and we get some really awesome moves from each of them using the basketball as a weapon. Normally fight scenes bore me, but this one was pretty good. They seem to have a handle on things when Goldar shows up with more putties and the Glowing Rope of DOOM. The putties overwhelm the rangers and manage to tie them up. Kim is so little she could probably just slip down between Jason and Zack and get out, but she doesn't even try. It's okay. They all seem to have a thing for bondage on this show. We understand why they don't try too hard to get away.

Rita has sent down her Grumble Bee monster while Jason, Zack, and Kim are all tied up. Zordon was actually paying attention for a change and contacts Billy and Trini about the Grumble Bee and the tied-up rangers. Trini calls out the morphing call and off they go to fight! Together! Just the two of them! They confront the Bee and have a short conversation about the people in your neighborhood. They fight and Billy is weakened by the venom. We then discover the Grumble Bee has some kind of ultrasonic waves that overwhelm them. They bravely run away.

Back at the Command Center, Zordon tells them they have to fight the bee while Alpha tries to break through the Glowing Rope of DOOM to set the others free. Jason reassures them it's the right thing to do, so back to the fight they go. Grumble Bee shoots them with highly toxic... uh... silly string. Billy is affected, but he manages to continue to fight. Meanwhile, Alpha narrows some sort of beam and manages to cut the Glowing Rope of DOOM so the others join the fight. He then gets back to work on some sort of weapon. Apparently it's a case of battery-in-backwards again and he flips something around to finish the weapon. It looks just like a Super Soaker. He sends it to Billy while the others are incapacitated and Billy uses it to shoot foam all over the Bee. Apparently, it really is a Super Soaker.

Rita says, oddly, "Make the monster... giant." for a change. The Zords are called, they get the MegaZord, and then the Bee shoots them with that ultrasonic crap again. He looks more like he's doing the Care Bear stare than anything else. The MegaZord needs more power, they call the Power Sword, the Bee says it probably isn't real, and then he gets blown up good and proper. End of fight.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Zack both have pretty arms while sparring. Tommy shows up in a random five second appearance. Apparently he's been restoring the Angel Grove economy by winning a karate tournament. And then Billy comes bouncing in. No, literally, he bounces. He apparently got an A+ on his test and has been admitted to the Young Scientists of America Club. As if there were any doubt. Trini is very proud of him. Bulk and Skull are apparently flipping out at a table, both studying very hard. Skull is so stressed he's tearing pages out of the book and TSB and I flail and bite our hands and can't really handle this part. Books! You don't do that to books! NYAH! Bulk says if he doesn't get a C on the next test, Mrs. Applebee is going to make the six students with the highest grades tutor him all summer. Uh... I don't think she can just volunteer people like that? And way to punish the kids that actually do their work. Anyway, Zack counts the six rangers and then they all rush to attempt to help Bulk and Skull study. Skull is still tearing pages. I'm very bothered.

Lists!

2.5 fish.

Covered in food: nobody

Billy speak: Lots, though most of it's borderline.
"I'm most perplexed. I've never received a B before."

"I appreciate your efforts, but acceptance into the young scientists of America club is very important to me."

"It's a term which defines a specific order of insects, such as bees."

"The ultrasonic waves are too powerful. We have to find the monster's weakness."

"The venom is highly toxic. It's eating through my suit."