Episode 323- To the Tenth Power

Today on Power Rangers, we get to see the Space Rangers again! We start off with data cards! DATA CARDS! And wanton murder of shady alien who had the data cards. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS???? DATA CARDS! SPAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEEEE. Deviot reanimates the Psycho Rangers and ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. They are all there and it's wonderful. They totally don't want to listen to Trakeena but she is more evil than they are and makes them listen. Andros is back in his Cloak of Not-A-Good-Disguise and is disappointed to discover he is too late to stop the transfer of the Psycho Rangers. On Terra Venture, Damon is sad because he carries all the groceries while Maya eats an apple. A hand appears out of the ground and trips him, causing him to spill the groceries. Maya is then kidnapped. Damon is then kidnapped. I LOVE KIDNAPPED RANGERS! Now if only they could be held in the Cave of Captivity. But alas, they are far away from Angel Grove. Kai and Kendrix are stuck fighting their Psycho counterparts, UNMORPHED, and they LOSE. And then we see Leo's arms! OMG IT'S THE BEST EPISODE EVER. Because Leo is working out and has a FLUFFY PINK TOWEL OF FLUFFY PINKNESS. It's adorable. Then he helps a Tiny Child who is crying, but isn't actually a Tiny Child. It's Psycho Red in disguise, because he totally knows Leo's weakness is Tiny Children in distress. And he totally overpowers him. Quickly. Leo is only saved because Andros shows up in his Cloak of Not-A-Good-Disguise. Leo is all hero worshiping him because OMG LEO WAS THERE THE DAY THE SPACE RANGERS SAVED THE EARTH AND I LOVE THIS WITH SO MUCH LOVE OMG. The two of them together... it's like the Angstiest Angsty Ranger Reunion. We just need Adam and it would be the Trifecta of Angst! *so many hearts in my eyes* HAPPY ALPHA IS HAPPY! He is so excited to see Andros. And Andros is all "Don't be too happy, cause your friends are fucked." and also explains the psychos as "everything you are, except the opposite." He takes Leo and Mike to see the Space morphers which have been stashed on the MegaShip this whole time. WHY ARE THEY STILL THERE? SO MANY FISH! I don't care. This is WONDERFUL. Leo blows up a wall with Andros, all morphed and happy, to stop Trakeena and save his friends. Trakeena is all "Yeah, whatever, I got this." and Andros has no clue what he's in for. Meanwhile, Alpha discovers intruders on the MegaShip stealing the Space morphers. DUH WE KNOW WHO IT IS. Way to try to be sneaky and FAIL MISERABLY show. Mike breaks the others out and they all go to fight. Damon gives them a chance to get away and they are stupid and don't take it. Because the psychos are all "There are only seven of you, pshaw" until TJ shows up with Cassie, Ashley, and Carlos and is all "TRY ELEVEN OF US!" because they are awesome. Also, Carlos cut off all his hair and it makes me sad. Everybody fights with their own colour against their own Psycho counterpart and that's probably not the best plan but whatever because GIANT EXPLOSIONS AND THEME SONGS AND AND AND. And how could I say no to TJ and Kai fighting together? And Damon and Carlos! And Cassie and Kendrix are OMGSOADORBS! They call out all the toys and totally win, as well they should when there are ELEVEN BADASS RANGERS ON MY SCREEN. Back on the MegaShip, Alpha nearly explodes from Happy. Leo asks how they knew and Carlos says Alpha put out a distress signal so they had to come. Unfortunately they can't stay long since they're needed back on Earth (and how they got there, and how they'll get back, I don't know and just don't care because this is great). Maya is going to give them the grand tour. Meanwhile, the pink psycho climbs out of the rubble and is confronted by Deviot, who is disappointed in her even though SHE IS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE WHOLE ORDEAL SHOWING SHE IS THE STRONGEST FOR REALS. The only thing wrong with this episode is Carlos' hair. It is all gone and gives me a sad. Everything else is beautiful and wonderful and totally amazing. 1.5 fish. It only had this much because, seriously, how did they get there in the first place? And also, Carlos' hair. Just... the hair!

Episode 291- A Line In The Sand

So we knew, the minute we started this whole thing, that there would be some episodes that one or the other of us would be recapping, no questions asked, no matter what. Sometimes because it's an episode we love so very very much (like TSB gets all the Adam episodes, but Billy was mine), and sometimes because it's something the other hates so much they can't bear to recap it. This is the latter. I knew I would do this episode because it's the Andros/Ashley date episode. TSB hates them. I am ambivalent. So to save you from a capslocked recap of NO NO NO BAD, you'll get my rather lackluster "and the point of that was?"

We start the episode out with Andros and Ashley on a date. They walk hand in hand and have fancy leather jackets that apparently Andros just bought for Ashley and there are compliments and romance. Then Tiny Children let them play hopscotch and it's ADORABLE. Although why Tiny Children are out playing on the street in the dark clearly at night, I don't know. My kids would be in bed sleeping by that time, yo.

But then! Oh noes! A big SUV tries to run them over. On the sidewalk. And then they run away, round a corner, and decide to look for the SUV behind some boxes... because SUVs are often found hiding behind cardboard boxes. I have no clue what's going on. Hopefully they'll explain it (but I'm not holding my breath). The SUV drives off at 88 miles per hour. My theory is the SUV only acts this way because it read the script, realized it made no sense, argued with the writers, caved and did it's job anyway, and then never worked in the entertainment industry again. Poor SUV. It tried to make sense of this episode.

Back on the Megaship, Cassie tries to convince them it was just a crazy driver. Carlos is off having really nice arms while playing soccer instead of being concerned for them, and I definitely approve. We needed far more Carlos-plays-soccer this season than we actually got. He wanders off to get a wayward ball and then he gets sucked into a vortex by the big SUV. Clearly he's concerned about this SUV thing now. Somehow the rest of the team totally doesn't care that he vanished into the trees and never returned. And I thought the rangers were bad friends!

The SUV then comes for Cassie and TJ. There is morphed fighting the SUV (which kind of looks like half a Hummer? I don't know) and it's RIDICULOUS. Like, incredibly ridiculous. The vehicle is clearly trying to kill them and they just run from it instead of, I don't know, teleporting away. They get sucked into the red vortex and meet up with Carlos who explains the situation and lack of sense of this plot.

Apparently the car is named Tankenstein. Astronema hired it to capture the rangers. Clearly Andros and Ashley should be contacting Justin to come save them, but instead they go off to fight it on their own. In Ashley's car from Turbo (seriously show? You choose THIS episode to go with the whole continuity thing? Well okay, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth). There is more ridiculous morphed fighting with the SUV. Andros even has to call out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit to beat the darn thing. And they still manage to get sucked into the stupid vortex. Now all five of them are trapped on some weird desert world.

The Cocky Badass comes to the rescue AGAIN. There is no explanation of how he got there, how he knew where they were, where he came from, how he knew what was going on, why he knew to fight the SUV. He just comes in and does it because he's a Cocky Badass. Seriously, he's worse than Tommy.

There is a zord fight. They win. It's boring, until the big SUV manages to blow up MORE TOYS (dude, WORSE THAN TOMMY, guys... that's not a good thing!). All they have left is the Astro Megaship. They're all dirty and smoking and damaged, except for Cocky Badass, who is perfectly coiffed.

4.5 fish. The only thing saving this episode was Carlos and his pretty pretty arms playing soccer.

Episode 287- Andros and the Stowaway

So we start the episode with a tiny alien that is running from a bigger alien. It mostly looks like Bigger Alien is just playing a game with Tiny Alien, but whatever. They are the fakest aliens I have ever seen. Andros comes across Tiny Alien. He determines Tiny Alien is afraid, scares him out of a tree, and catches him on the way down. Bigger Alien introduces himself, accuses Andros of stealing, and fights ensue. Andros grabs Tiny Alien and the big alien runs away. Andros ensures his safety and the leaves the CLEARLY A BABY to his own devices. Tiny Baby Alien runs after Andros, however.

It sneaks it's way onto the MegaShip and scares Ashley. It's not a very good stowaway. Stowaways are supposed to hide, but whatever. Ashely names him Seymour. Somehow Seymour speaks English and ends up eating ALL THE THINGS. This, of course, gives him a stomach ache. Andros sits by his side all night. DAWWWWW.

Big Alien goes to Astronema to get his Tiny Alien back. He will agree to turn the Power Rangers to stone if she can help him get Tiny Alien back

Andros wakes up at the hospital bed to discover Tiny Alien Seymour is not so tiny any longer. He's as big as Andros now. Bigger Alien has gone down to Angel Grove to draw the rangers to him. Bigger Alien demands Seymour be given back. Ashley notices a resemblance between the two, but everybody ignores her. There is lots of fighting, which Seymour sees.

Back on the ship, Andros is looking for Seymour, but he's nowhere to be found. He's gone down to Earth because he made a mistake. The rangers are his friends now and he knows they're in trouble with Bigger Alien because of him. Bigger Alien finds him, compliments him on how much he's grown, and says Seymour is going with him. Andros comes by in the nick of time and take Seymour away with him. He tries to reassure Seymour and brings him a cookie, which Seymour splits. DAWWWW.

Except then Andros and Bigger Alien have to fight again because he's not going away without Seymour. The other rangers show up and there is a clearly-Sentai-footage battle to be fought. Bigger Alien manages to get a shot in at Andros' feet, turning them to stone, and Seymour steps in to help. Bigger Alien catches him and puts him in a pocket. The Rangers won't leave Seymour, though, and convince him he's strong and can fight the Bigger Alien. Boring battle ensues and this is really about the dumbest episode I think I've ever seen on Power Rangers. Which is saying something, because we did make it through the entirety of Turbo.

They win. Seymour is free to go so they take him home. He meets a girl. IT'S REALLY DUMB, OKAY? I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER ALREADY. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BLEACH FOR MY BRAIN TO ERASE THIS STUPID THING.

5 fish. OMG IT WAS SO BAD.

Episode 280 - Dark Specter's Revenge - Part 2

WE LIVE. I handed in my thesis, so now we will have the time of GREAT PANIC while I wait on results.

So we continue with the Megazords trying to push an asteroid out of the way while people on Earth panic. Just as it's entering Earth's atmosphere Zhane shows up with another Zord and somehow that is enough to get it out of the atmosphere without the asteroid breaking up at all (wtf is this thing made of, anyway?) and they push it back into space and whatever, I am not going to argue with the science, but I wonder what the Bad Astronomer would have to say about that.

Zhane gets all the hugs, and he tells them that the rebels built the ship. The Rangers fill Zhane in on the whole Astronema = Karone thing, and Zhane is all "I knew there was something good about her!" and offers to go with Andros to find her, saying he has an interest in Karone as well. You can clearly see the "oh shit, I've got a thing for my boyfriend's sister" on Zhane's face, and also Andros is concerned when Zhane says he has an interest.

Zhane and Andros follow a solitary tie fighter to a space station, and Andros and Zhane continue the "you went on a date with my sister!" "JUST ONE DATE?" thing and AHAHAH awesome, but boys, this is SO NOT THE TIME to figure out your poly relationships.

So the boys steal some Quantrons uniforms, and they're a little short to be storm troopers, and really, show, you're making this too easy.

They find Astronema and take off the helmet, only to find that she's been all Borgified, and she calls Ecliptor to attack them. There's a pretty great fight, and there's no way they're going to win and escape with Astronema, so they end up retreating, leaving her in her brainwashed and Borgified state.

This is pretty epic, seriously.

They end up stealing some velocifighters to escape, and they make it back to the Megaship, and Andros has the biggest sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull and the Professor had some hijinks where they thought they made it to another planet, but nope, still on Earth. Oh, and then they get attacked by a monster. Luckily, there are Power Rangers to the rescue. Including Zhane in his new toy.

Hey, points for a very bondagey fight.

And then the Rangers give Bulk, Skull, and the Professor a ride on their galaxy gliders. ADORABLE.

Meanwhile, the Borg Princess kicks Darkonda out. And Andros, and Zhane are trying to figure out how to fix Astronema. DUN DUN DUN.

Fish: 2! The science is a little screwy, but EPIC IS EPIC.

Episode 278 - The Rangers' Leap of Faith

So we start off with the ending of the last episode again. We already saw this! Both sides have valid points, and they need to learn the value of compromise.

Seriously, they're replaying the ENTIRE LAST SCENE. I mean, it's a great scene, but when you only have so long in an episode, do you really want to waste it?

So we finally get to a new scene after the credits, and Karone is tied to a poll in the maintenance bay. Andros shows up to give her some food and I'm just picturing Tommy screaming at the others after this, because... yeah. Andros brings Karone some food, and they have a discussion about trust. Then Karone asks about their parents, and it is very sad, and they start bonding over that. Apparently they stayed up talking and slept in there.

When they approach the planet, Andros springs the news on the others that it has to look like Astronema captured them. Maybe you should have mentioned that in advance, Andros.

Astronema contacts Dark Spectre and he's all "I'm so proud of you" and then lowers the force field. Rangers in chains, you guys. :D

As soon as possible, the Rangers remove their chains, and TJ starts issuing orders. Once a red...

Fighters stop by, and Astronema is all "What, they're escorts" and the Rangers do not look happy. Andros escorts Astronema off the bridge while TJ pilots and looks all badass.

TJ doesn't like it and decides to ditch the escorts, which um, is BEYOND STUPID. Because now you have advertised that Astronema isn't there, and also for all you know, they WERE leading you there.

The ship gets hit by lightning and there's smoke and darkness and all super dramatic, and then they crash. TJ, I adore you, but that was STUPID.

For a planet with such an unstable atmosphere, the planet looks very nice.

Andros runs back to check on Karone, and she has apparently ditched her chains and left the ship. TJ takes this as confirmation that she was leading them into a trap, and Andros refuses to believe it. They go exploring and run into Darkonda and the Pirahnatrons. Time to morph!

The other Rangers distract things while they yell for Andros to go find Zordon, and Karone grabs Andros while the others are all getting captured. Ecliptor shows up but he can't hurt Astronema, so he tells them to just go on. Darkonda then attacks Ecliptor and calls him a traitor, and he manages to capture him.

Andros and Karone comes upon Zordon's warp tube, and DUN DUN DUN, it turned out to actually be a trap. That was actually Dark Spectre in there, and the rangers are all captured. Astronema tells Dark Spectre that her trap worked perfectly, and he tells her to destroy them, and then teleports out. She tells Darkonda to destroy them, and then right before he's about to, she blasts him in the back and lets the other Rangers escape.

There's a fight scene, and it looks like the Rangers will get caught again, but Ecliptor comes to the rescue, and he tells Karone and the others to go, even though she yells that she can't leave him. She loves her surrogate daddy! The Rangers escape.

Dark Spectre gives Darkonda control of the dark fortress, but only until Astronema returns. Dark Spectre says he has plans for Astronema and Ecliptor, that will ensure they never stray again.

Back on the bridge of the Megaship, TJ leads the others in apologizing to Karone. She tells them that she's never had friends, and that she hopes that one day they'll believe that she doesn't want to hurt them. They tell her that they believe her right now, and also, now she has five friends. Ashley grabs her hand and seriously looks like she's about to kiss it. I feel this is relevant to people's interests.

End episode with Alpha saying the gesture of friendship is so beautiful.

Fish: 2! The plans and crosses and betrayals all worked out pretty nicely.

Episode 277- Astronema Thinks Twice

Today on Power Rangers, it's Astronema's turn to have a sad.

She's wandering around Earth as the memories start to come back to her. She won't let go of the locket and part of her remembers being snatched as a child, a little boy chasing after her, but she doesn't want to. She's so conflicted! And she plays it SO WELL.

Andros finds her and confronts her, because he knows she remembers. He thinks if he can just get her to see, she'll accept him and the goodness still inside her. She attacks instead and runs away, but I can't really blame her. She's confronting the fact that her whole life up to that point has been a lie. That's a big deal.

Darkonda delights in the conflict. Ecliptor is not so happy that Darkonda is having fun tearing apart his Adopted Daughter. He's going to take care of that for her, and get rid of Darkonda once and for all. Or, well, that's the plan anyway. The battle is amazing and Darkonda actually tries to run away, but Ecliptor will have none of it. He is determined to take care of this problem for Karone. Unfortunately, Darkonda cheats and forces Ecliptor to join with him again. Ecliptor escapes, barely, and Darkonda gets away again. Ecliptor screams out Darkonda.

Darkonda is counting down his lives and requests Dark Spectre destroy Ecliptor for him. Yeah, that's soooo not happening.

Astronema confronts Ecliptor about her brother, and Ecliptor explains that he was made to be evil, but she was born to be good. It's only because of him that she is who she has become. Except that Ecliptor isn't really evil! He loves! He has a heart! He cares deeply! He will do whatever it takes to save those who matter to him! He's only evil because he thinks that's what he has to be! Oh Ecliptor, I adore you and your poor tortured story. Astronema loves him and is determined to remain evil for him, so she sends a monster after Andros.

This show could benefit from an Adopted Dad Logan tumblr. Just saying.

She goes to watch the fight and is once again torn by emotions. Andros is getting the snot beat out of him, and he loses his morpher, which she manages to grab. She could save him, but she's not sure yet if she should and OMG THIS SHOW! ALL MY LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. She throws him his morpher and walks away, while he morphs and saves himself from the monster she sent to him (and then the others show up and there is all the toys and yada yada yada I don't care about this part).

I freaking ADORE these episodes. This is probably the tightest Power Rangers has ever been.

Dark Spectre doubts Astronema. She wants to be evil. He commands her to destroy Andros, knowing who he is. She hesitates, but decides to do it anyway.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to convince Andros that she's still dangerous. He refuses to see it and goes to meet her alone. Astronema tells Andros she'll take him to Zordon. He BELIEVES HER. BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. HE EVEN TAKES HER ON THE SHIP, and the others totally aren't happy with it. And understandably so! She's spent the better part of this season trying to kill them. He defends her, they grudgingly go along with it but only after she gives the coordinates. And now nobody really trusts Andros (and I can't blame them, but I can't blame him either). Oh Andros. Sweetheart. ALL THE CRIES.

Episode 276- The Secret of the Locket

Today on Power Rangers, we get the best plot twist of the late 90's. Remember 1998, guys? I was 17. I did NOT see this episode coming, not at all. It's old hat now, but it seemed so novel at the time.

So we all know Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers (thus far), right? He lost his sister at a young age and has never been able to find her. Then his boyfriend best friend takes a hit for him and has to spend two years cryogenically frozen in the hopes of one day being healed enough to emerge. His entire planet is destroyed and the few survivors must scatter to the reaches of the galaxy. So what could possibly make poor Andros have an even bigger Sad? TODAY'S EPISODE, THAT'S WHAT.

So Andros finally gets to confront Darkonda about kidnapping Karone. He's a man possessed with this battle and honestly, as much as I get tired of the fighting, this battle is pretty epic and I could happily watch more of it. It would only be more amazing if he did it unmorphed. Because Andros is just a BAMF like that. He's almost had him destroyed, too, when Ecliptor distracts him long enough for Darkonda to escape. Then there is epic crying. Poor Andros.

Darkonda hangs out in the forest and does some major monologuing while setting up some hidden underground trigger which causes a bunch of lasers to fire. This bad guy seriously never stops talking to himself. Back on the ship, however, Andros lays in his dark bunk and has nightmares. Because that's what you do when your entire life has been one traumatizing event after another.

In what can only be described as beating us about the head with it, the shot of Andros holding the picture of his sister fades into Astronema holding a locket and asking Ecliptor where he found her. He says her parents and brother were killed by the power rangers and she was left on his doorstep, the only survivor. She thinks her brother is alive and he assures her otherwise, so she goes to attack Earth to make herself feel more evil.

It kind of works, until she sees a woman ushering her children away. The little girl falls and the little boy goes back to get her and Andros has to rush to their rescue. He launches on top of them to take the devastating blow coming to them, but Astronema attacks her own Quantrons to stop them from hurting the family. Andros is confused because clearly he has not been watching the same show we have.

Darkonda shows up and tempts Andros away from the battle. Ecliptor follows, because he's curious, as you are. Andros falls right into the trap, but manages to avoid stepping on the land mine altogether. He is unintentionally brilliant like that. There is another epic battle and Darkonda taunts Andros about Karone, saying she doesn't know he exists, etc etc etc. Darkonda then STEPS ON HIS OWN MINE. And blows himself up. Because Ecliptor got in the way and drew him out into the open. He intentionally saved Andros' life, and says it will just be this one time. Andros is thoroughly confused. Again, because he isn't watching the same show we are.

Andros is back in the main fight and ends up fighting Astronema. She's angry and confused and full of emotion, so she takes it out on him. He manages to cut off her locket and she is clearly upset, but has to flee before she can get the locket. Andros starts to look for the locket, but they have a monster to fight first. So some of the toys come out and we all know what happens here.

Let's get back to that locket, shall we? Andros is wandering around the smoldering battlefield when he finds it on some rebar. Astronema is also there trying to find her locket (I assume she still has it mostly because Ecliptor is really not as bad as he seems... he loves her, he's cared for her all those years, so he let her keep it... and mostly because I just really love this plot device). Andros opens it and sees his sister and himself, tiny pictures inside. He is shocked and pulls out his own locket with the same pictures inside. He knows she's Karone now. Astronema does not want to believe this. She knows it's true, you can see it on her face, but she doesn't want to believe it. She fights back and then runs away. Both are clearly overcome with emotion, unsure of what to do next and how to handle things.

So Andros finds his sister and then loses her, because she's the bad guy and he will have to destroy her to save the Earth. Oh Andros. Your Biggest Sad Ever just got bigger, poor boy.

2.5 fish. It actually made a fair amount of sense, for a Power Rangers episode anyway.

Episode 271 - Red with Envy

This morning starts off with a Darkonda vs Ecliptor "battle". Darkonda wants him as a business partner, to conquer the Earth together. Ecliptor will be having none of that. I'd much rather they just fight. Because they are awesome.

Darkonda goes it alone, of course, and sends his Crocotox to Earth to spread toxins. In the oceans around Angel Grove only, apparently. Because Angel Grove is the only place that matters, as we have learned for the past 5 seasons. Meanwhile, on the MegaShip, Andros is clearly practicing for some Very Important Conversation. He wants to ask Ashley out on a date, but he has no clue how to do it. He really needs to just accept his love for Zhane and give up on Ashley, so she can go back to Carlos, whom she really loves. Andros, finally settled on a question, stumbles upon Zhane trying to teach Ashley how to use telekensis. She can't do it, but he's all "let me wrap myself around you and show you how as if we're on a date and I'm teaching you to play pool in a cheesy romantic comedy". Andros gives up his Sad for a Jealous.

They have to stop everything to go fight the Crocotox though. Andros and Ashley work together, only to have Zhane rush in to protect his boyfriend, and Ashley by association, and she calls him a gentleman. Andros' jealousy grows by leaps and bounds. For some reason, Ashley, who can totally take down monsters by herself, can't be arsed to fight. Zhane rushes off, Ashley wants to go find him, and they chastise him for being demorphed in public. He's an alien, I'm not sure it really matters. But it's foreshadowing, so I totally forgive them.

Andros attempts to be slightly mature and discuss his feelings with Ashley, except Zhane interrupts and Ashley, instead of saying "Just a minute Zhane, I'm talking to Andros right now", carries on a conversation. And then goes back to Andros like he's a second thought. Of course, Andros could totally just have said "I like you, let's hang out" but instead he sulks and says "forget it". He then takes it out on Zhane. So much for maturity. It would also help if Zhane wasn't being such a dick about it (even though I totally love him for it).

Oh boys. Zhane is only cock-blocking in an attempt to get his boyfriend back, not because he likes Ashley! If only Andros would see that. Zhane even does the whole flashback I-love-you-forever thing with ANDROS. Seriously, boyfriends.

I really hate the two guys fight over one girl thing. Same for two girls over one guy. It's ridiculous and nobody comes off for the better.

But then Zhane, remembering his undying love for Andros, goes down to join the fight. He doesn't care if Andros is mad at him, because they're boyfriends best friends and he's going to help, no matter what. And good thing, too, because the Crocotox catches the rangers in a net and kidnaps them all. They shouldn't have fallen for it, but they did, so whatever. Zhane will have to rescue them, which he does as soon as he gets rid of Ecliptor. How does he know they need help? Because ANDROS CALLED TO HIM WITH HIS MIND. THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS.

Zhane takes down Darkonda with his bike and Andros gets the rangers out of the net with his LASER, which he didn't think to use before. There is a big monster fight with all the toys while Zhane fights the other monster, doing a badass demorph right after taking it down (unintentional demorph, of course, but it was still super flashy). Andros is panicked with the need to find Zhane immediately after the fight is over. Oh boys.

Back on the ship, Andros apologizes. Zhane is a cocky badass, but all is forgiven. Ashley and Andros set up a date. Zhane asks Alpha for help with his demorphing problem (oh show, I can't stop laughing... poor impotent Zhane). Now Zhane has the Sad. Damn Andros, stop spreading the Sad around the ship, it's not fair to the others.

5 fish. I really don't like the fighting over another person thing.

Episode 270 - Survival of the Silver

So did you know it's the best time of year? It's Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange time! Sign-ups are now open so if you haven't done so already and want to join in on the fic-giving fun, head over to AO3 and sign up. If you don't have an AO3 account, you can request a code from either TSB or myself. We're happy to share.

Today on Power Rangers, the Rangers go on a hiking trip through the desert to find... rock samples? No clue why they want rock samples. But Carlos is totally seeing things and TJ decides to make fun of him. Because TJ is awesome. What Carlos really sees is invisible Jawas. This is apparently not Earth, despite looking very much like it. They decide to morph and fight mere feet from the MegaShip. WHY? Why fight? Why not just run into the ship and fly away? It's not like they were fighting a monster or defending Earth or something. They invaded the Jawas home, not the other way around. They do eventually do just that, but not before something invades the ship and does damage to the engine.

While fixing the engine, Cassie discovers a hidden door. Carlos follows her, but TJ and Ashley are talking about the ship and don't notice. Cassie is totally transfixed by Mysterious Frozen Man (complete with penis shape on the readout of the vitals monitoring equipment... nice). Carlos calls the others in and everybody is really really confused. Because there is a FROZEN MAN on the ship that they had no idea about.

Andros realizes the others are someplace they shouldn't be and decides to spill his dirty secret. He introduces Mysterious Frozen Man as Zhane, the silver ranger, mortally wounded in the battle of KO-35. Zhane was his boyfriend best friend and was wounded saving his life. ZHANE TOOK THE BLOW MEANT FOR ANDROS. This is totally one of my things, guys, and this is yet another reason why Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers... at least until RPM. TJ is totes understanding. Carlos is all supportive. Ashley just wants to know why he never told them (gee, I wonder why... he barely knows you people).

Cassie goes to check the rock sample and discovers an egg that has hatched into some weird insect monster thing. She fights him off all on her own, because she is super awesome, but then he locks her in the cargo bay with him. Cassie is able to open the cargo bay door and gets him sucked out into space while she clings to a pole. It was not her brightest idea, but it worked... temporarily. Because apparently this monster can breathe in space and is clinging to the side of the ship, causing a lot of damage, and an emergency landing.

They go out to fight. Jawas get on the ship and Alpha has to threaten them with the karate he knows (which must be the hip hop kido Zack taught him). They all fail at fighting a whole lot. And MYSTERIOUS FROZEN MAN FLAT LINES IN HIS TUBE! OH NOES! Andros can sense that something is very wrong, drops his sword melodramatically, and screams NO in slo-mo. Because that's how he rolls when his boyfriend pretend-dies. He is going to make them pay.

But wait! He doesn't have to! Because ZHANE WAKES UP! And saunters out of the MegaShip in all his silver glory, apparently with no side effects from having been FROZEN FOR TWO YEARS (which really doesn't work, but it's Power Rangers, so I'll roll with it). And totally saves the day, while being awesomely shiny and super cocky. Oh Zhane. Never change. Back on the MegaShip, Zhane and Andros have a dorky friendship greeting and then run off to fight. Andros and the Earth Four go to fight the big insect thing. Zhane says hi to Alpha, though how he knew about Alpha I'm not sure. It's not like they had a lot of time to talk about what's happened in the past TWO YEARS.

They totally win and get back on board to see Zhane boasting to Alpha. Andros corrects his story and there is happy boyfriend smiles and hugs and DAW! BOYS! Ashley is smitten with Zhane, which hello, you were just macking on Andros the past episode, and she is really bad at picking up on the BOYFRIENDS thing. Andros drags him off to his bunk to make out catch up on old times.

2.5 fish. It was pretty solid. Also, BOYFRIENDS.

Episode 266- Flashes of Darkonda

So I was going to try to do something really awesome this past weekend while TSB was at DragonCon. I thought about recapping the first episode of Gokaiger or VR Troopers. Then I thought I'd go way back and really hit my nostalgia button and do the first episode of Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog. Instead, I read books two and three of A Song of Ice and Fire and alas, you all suffered the loss. Sorry? Only not really because new obsession.

Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.

TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?

So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*

Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.

Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.

4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).

Episode 257- A Ranger Among Theives

And we're back, ladies and gentlemen!

We start out on the holodeck Simudeck doing some fighting against a holographic monster. Hey look! They actually PRACTICE! AND the kids have to take tests in school. Andros wanders the halls while they go to class. I can't believe they remembered they were actually in school!

At the Surf Spot, a greasy sleazy kid is wandering around taking money out of women's purses. Andros is sitting there trying to eat a banana. A girl, hanging with the sleazy boys, offers him the advice of peeling it first. Let's see... the greasy boy is dressed all in black, the girl is snarky, and the other boy is background scenery. They are defiant and rude. Could they BE any more obvious? Andros shows his mad physics skills by telling them how to play pool.

Outside, they are trying to break into a car. Andros sees them and offers to help them get into their car. We meet Chuck (greasy boy), Suzie (snarky chick), and David (background boy). You can tell they are Bad Seeds because they give Andros bubble gum. What naughty awful kids. Who get an eyeful when Andros jumps out the car, stops a purse thief, gives the old woman her purse back, and refuses a reward. Because Andros is clearly the GOOD GUY. He gets back in the car and tells his new "friends" that he hates thieves. OH ANDROS. Can you BE any more dense? I'm not sure it's possible, but the season is still young...

A monster is doing something at the power plant and Andros must stop him. I totally LOVE the morphing sequence for this season. It just... I just... yeah. There is a small fight I pay very little attention to and then the monster runs away.

It is here that Andros realizes his new friends are the thieves. Oh Andros! I've spent most of this episode saying that. He's so clueless. He's even upset that they tried to be his friends and yet they steal cars. He storms off in a fit of Glorious Emo Sadness and David tries to go after him, but Chuck stops him. Which is a good thing because the monster then attacks and Andros has to jump in, unmorphed, and save his new Bad Guy friends. Chuck is ready to completely abandon him and just runs off. David and Suzie go back to help fight. So apparently we're getting the Misunderstood Bad Guy episode.

Ecliptor confronts Andros. Suddenly he's not at the power plant but out in a field somewhere near power lines. Ecliptor kicks his ass. Because Ecliptor is AMAZING. Lucky for Andros his Good Guy Friends show up and Carlos uses DECA's new weapon to get rid of Ecliptor. Then they have to go fight the big monster. Whom I really don't care about. I think we all know what's going to happen next right?

Chuck is trying to hotwire a red Jeep, but the cops get him first. The Rangers are looking over their test scores and Andros decides to tell Adele about her stolen van (the thieves, of course). She tells him to wait because there are two other people who need to talk to her first. It's David and Suzie, the Misunderstood Bad Guys. They give the van back and she forgives them. They offer to help her clean and she GIVES THEM JOBS. Because she is awesome (although I still miss Ernie *tear*)

3 fish, mostly because Andros is Mr. Oblivious.