Episode 217 - Alarmed and Dangerous

Everything about this episode is bad and wrong. BAD AND WRONG!

So it starts out with Kat, apparently student teaching (NOT POSSIBLE), handing out a test to Justin and a bunch of kids who are definitely NOT freshmen in high school. TSB feels this is summer school.

Two big guys try to get Justin to show them his test. He won't cheat. They get very loud and blatant about the desire to cheat and Ms. Applebee boots them AND Justin out of the classroom. Oh Ms. Applebee, we love you, but do not punish the kid for saying "No". They must wait in the hallway until the test is over. Bully-With-Bad-Hair gets fresh and uses Justin's shirt to slide him up the wall. Bully-With-Great-Teeth mocks.

And then there is a fire alarm! Clearly pulled by the bullies. The firemen give the "False alarms keep us from real fires!" lesson and this is really not the episode for that, show. This is supposed to be the bully episode. Do not confuse your Very Special Episode messages, mkay?

At the Youth Center, Adam and Tanya are training. Tommy is beating the shit out of a punching bag. TANYA ACTUALLY PAYS FOR SOMETHING! That's two episodes in a row! The fire alarm goes off and Lt. Stone lets everybody stay where they are so he can go check it out. Then another alarm goes off at the school. Ms. Applebee sends everybody home until they can figure out what's going on with the alarm. Meanwhile, the bullies muss Justin's hair a bit.

Fire alarms are going off around town. The rangers chase them down. Justin tries to talk to Kat about the bullies and says he might fight them. She says that's a bad idea. Then they discover it's Piranhatrons setting off the alarms and they rush to the Power Chamber to tell the others. Nobody knows what is going on until Demetria points out how confused they are which is exactly how Divatox wants them to feel. YOU THINK?

So they split up to find the detonator. Justin gets caught in the park by the bullies. Bully-With-Bad-Hair pushes him around and actually kind of hits him a little, and then Justin throws him against a table and climbs over him with his fist up. But he doesn't hit him. Instead he just says he doesn't want to fight and runs off. They chase! Bully-With-Great-Teeth points out that he's fast and they've lost him. Bully-With-Bad-Hair suggests they split up. Justin has climbed a tree and as soon as he's noticed by Bully-With-Bad-Hair, he slips and starts to fall. He teleports out and the branches fall, which the bullies poke up, but don't seem to care that THE KID JUST VANISHED IN FRONT OF THEM.

At the Power Chamber, Kat lectures Justin about using his powers for personal gain. Frankly, I think not killing himself falling out of a tree justifies the use of the powers. He mentions the bullies and instead of being HELPFUL, Kat tells him he's smart enough to figure it out on his own. THIS IS NOT HOW BULLIES WORK. ANYWAY.

They find the detonator on a fire truck. Instead of making things go explode-y, it turns the truck into a monster. Which the rangers ride downtown and let it destroy a couple buildings. Then they blow it up and the firemen are safe. I... don't get this part. Whatever.

HERE IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY REALLY BAD AND HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG.
Justin comes across Bully-With-Bad-Hair in the hallway of the school. BWBH taunts him about running home to Mommy and Daddy, to which Justin replies that he doesn't live with his parents right now. Bully-With-Bad-Hair hasn't seen his father in 2 years. He's a bully because he doesn't have a dad? Really show, you went there? Not having a dad (or mom) does not a bully make. *grrr* (and let's not even get into how Bully-With-Great-Teeth just vanished from existence in this show... what's his story?)

AND THEN! And then they sit down all melancholy and Justin offers to tutor Bully-With-Bad-Hair so he doesn't have to cheat any longer. BWBH says he basically forgives Justin for narking on him, since Justin can't lie and apparently the bully wouldn't either. BWBH is amazed Justin would tutor him, and Justin says "what are friends for?" AND REALLY SHOW?!?!??! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE BESTEST FRIENDS FOREVER WITH THE GUY WHO JUST TRIED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU SORT OF KIND OF HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. THIS IS NOT RIGHT, SHOW. NOT RIGHT AT ALL.

Here's the thing... I was bullied as a kid. Bad. Really bad. Like, permanent damage kind of bad. So I really feel for Justin this episode. But it was written HORRIBLY. It does not have the best moral ending. It does not actually DEAL with the bullying and instead merely brushes the LET ME KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BECAUSE I'M BIGGER HAR HAR HAR aside. I do not like this, not one tiny little bit.

5 fish. It just... made no sense. AND IS ALL THE BAD AND WRONG.

Episode 207 - Shift Into Turbo - Part 2

Previously on WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS - Bulk and Skull got turned into monkeys, and the Rangers are the worst friends ever. Also, it's time for them to graduate high school in their gender segregated robes.

This is going to be one of those multi-parters where they stretch it out way longer than they need to, isn't it? *checks* YEP.

I'm somehow the one who ends up commenting on theme song & costume changes. So. Theme song - I like it, QR doesn't. It's not quite as great as the original, but it's still catchy. I do miss the go go power rangers, though. :( As for the costumes, even with all of my reservations about this season, it's actually one of my favorite Ranger suit designs. It's a lot better than Zeo, anyway.

Okay, the episode. So, Adam and his awful hair are all concerned about Justin, who has not shown up to graduation. Adam, you've known Justin for 30 seconds, and he has a communicator. Stop it. So instead Adam WALKS OUT OF GRADUATION and then calls Zordon, who tells him that Justin was supposed to call if there's any trouble. Adam still has a bad feeling, so he pulls Kat and Tanya out of the ceremony right before Kat is about to give her valedictorian speech. Principal Caplan is all "... what are you three doing?" but since he totally knows they're Rangers, he lets them go and stalls until Kat can go and give her speech. I totally feel bad for the person who was talking before Kat, since they're totally ignoring her.

The Rangers barely make it into the parking lot, before Divatox shows up herself with some Pirahnatrons and there's an unmorphed fight, and it's GLORIOUS. You know JYB was thinking "THANK GOD. LAST SEASON WAS SO DULL FOR ME" because there's a ton of him showing off, and I am totally NOT complaining, although seriously, his HAIR. Adam volunteers to fight the Pirahnatrons himself, while the girls go and help Justin, and then I was randomly reminded that back in 97 I read a ton of Divatox/Adam, which I personally don't get, but it makes me sad that there is more Divatox/Adam bad and wrong fic than there is Scorpina/Adam bad and wrong fic. *pout*

Zordon calls Tommy for backup so that he can help Adam, and then all five Rangers end up at the power plant. The fight scene ends with the Rangers winning, but the detonator is still ticking. Just as I'm discussing with QR about how stupid it is that they're all looking together and they should split up, Tommy says they should split up, and man, I hate it when he agrees with me. So Adam and Tanya go off together, and so do Tommy and Kat, and Justin is sent to the Power Chamber to retrieve the Turbo Navigator so that they can find stuff.

Up in the Power Chamber, Alpha is all distracted by wormhole opening and is totally confused when Justin shows up. Yes, the wormhole is very important for them, but HI, THERE IS A FIGHT GOING ON. Stop failing so hard, Alpha and Zordon. Justin goes back with the navigator and Zordon summons Lerigot.

The Turbo Navigator finds the detonator, and Tommy plugs it into some car, which lets it explode safely or something.

Back at graduation, Kat delivers her speech and then Caplan pronounces them all graduated. They didn't walk at all! At the Youth Center, we find out Tanya has a summer internship working at a radio station, and Adam is going to be a stuntman at the amusement park.

Lt. Stone has taken charge of monkey!Bulk and Skull, and this ends with him being covered in both banana split and monkey.

Oh, and Divatox knows about the wormhole, and she's determined to prevent Zordon from going back to Eltar. To be continued...

Fish: 4.5. Honestly, if we gave this a 5, we'd have to increase the fish scale to 10!

Episode 206- Shift Into Turbo Part 1

THESE GUYS ARE THE WORST FRIENDS EVER.

We get a new Divatox. She is wearing more clothing than the movie, and she's seeking only to mess with the Rangers, not to attract a man/lava monster/thing, so I like this one better! Elgar is not dead. The fish missed him too much and went into the lava pit to rescue him, apparently. Stupid fish. He is, apparently, still a little crispy. The Piranatron design is much better than the movie, at least.

The Rangers are graduating high school. This means it's the end of the year. Justin is taking a placement test to determine what grade he should be in (apparently he moved around a lot? I don't get it...). At the end of the school year. For some reason they decide they don't need to use his previous school records. Whatever. He finishes the test with an hour to spare and Mrs. Applebee compares his scantron with one of the correct answers, her eyes wide. THAT IS NOT HOW SCANTRONS WORK.

Anyway, here is where they are horrible horrible friends. THEY HAVE NOT TOLD ROCKY ALL OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE TURBO POWERS. IT HAS BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH SINCE THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO DIVATOX IS, YOU GUYS. Worst. Friends. Ever. They decide to wait for Justin to get there to tell Rocky more about the events from the movie. Y'know, so Rocky can see how very excited his replacement is and all the Super Fun Adventure Times is had without him. Great job, guys! Way to rub it in!

We then get a really long and boring montage of clips from the movie. We could have skipped the movie and recapped that instead. There's an hour and a half of my life gone.

Justin then asks if Rocky is sure he doesn't want his powers back. Rocky is still suffering from his back injury (duh, it's only been a month!) and is fine letting Justin keep them. Adam tells him he'll always be a ranger in spirit. Rocky's response? "That's nice." HAHAHAHHA ROCKY I LOVE YOU.

An aside here. TSB and I love the theory of power addiction. They have a hard time giving up their powers because they are addicted to the power itself, and after it's gone, they always want it back (see: Adam and Tommy, for the best examples). I have head!canon that Rocky is one of the very very few in the history of rangers who really doesn't get addicted. He loves being a ranger, but he's actually okay with handing his powers over, with just stopping. It doesn't bother him. Unlike Adam. ahem

So, back to the episode. Rocky is opening a dojo after graduation instead of going to college. I like this theory! Especially since we know Adam also has a dojo in Angel Grove (thank you, Once a Ranger!). I stand by my theory they run the dojo together. As partners. In ALL respects.

Tommy is skipping graduation. Because he's driving a racecar instead. This... is not how racecars work.

Alpha calls them to the Power Chamber, and they scamper off leaving Rocky on his own. Alpha has a surprise! He's baked them a graduation cake. It has little Power Ranger toppers on it. AWWWWWW. The seniors go off to do graduation stuff and Justin tries to sneak some of the icing from the cake. Alpha won't let him. He calls him Young Man. My heart squishes in delight at the adorableness.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are patrolling an empty parking lot. Lt. Stone comes up and sends them to the power plant. Divatox's ship lands in the lake behind him, but he won't listen to Bulk and Skull try to tell him that. He drives off and Bulk tells Skull they will forget what they saw and not tell anybody. Boys, YOU LIVE IN ANGEL GROVE. That is a VERY BAD idea. They go to the power plant where they meet up with Elgar who is trying to set a bomb. He uses some kind of ray gun to turn them into chimpanzees. BULK AND SKULL ARE CHIMPANZEES FOR AGES AND WE DON'T EVEN GET THE SPIN-OFF SHOW. I am so disappointed. *sadface* Elgar sets the detonator for 60 minutes. An entire hour? Really? That's more than enough time to disarm the darn thing. Oh villains. You suck at being... villain-like.

Bulk and Skull attempt to contact the police on their radios. They just make chimp noises, however, and the other police assume it's kids messing about and TURN OFF THE SCANNER. These police should be FIRED.

Justin decides to go check out what's going on with the chimp noises. He stops by the power plant on his way to graduation and finds Elgar there.

To Be Continued.

4.5 fish. Ugh. Let's just get this season over with.

Episode 200 - Another Song and Dance

*stares* Wait. WAIT. Episode 200? Did we really hit 200? When we started this nearly two years ago, I don't think either of us actually expected that we would keep going with it as long as we did. But it has been SO MUCH FUN and we're seriously looking forward to the next 500+ episodes. :D

So, we begin with Tommy dancing. Or something that's supposed to be dancing. It's really just him gyrating on the couch and kicking his feet in the air with some martial arts thrown in. Tanya comes down the stairs and sees him, and clearly is wondering if he's been brainwashed/under a spell/has finally cracked. Tommy seems very embarrassed, and if he was, then why was he practicing in school in full view of anyone? It turns out that his lip syncing performance was actually him practicing for music class, where he has to sing.

Hint: Tommy, lip syncing is not actually singing.

Tanya agrees to give Tommy some singing lessons, probably in the hope that she will never have to see him do that again. Ever.

Out on the lake, Bulk and Skull are on a male bonding fishing trip with their fake!daddy. He's given them some sort of nonsense explanation about how catching criminals is a lot like catching fish, but not to worry, he has a secret weapon. I don't know why they need a secret weapon to catch fish in Angel Grove, the city is full of them.

Meanwhile, the Machine Empire plans to combine these two things by a) turning Lt. Stone's secret weapon fish bait into a monster and b) placing a spell on Tommy and Tanya that will make them sing everything. Supposedly this will alter their telepathic links to the Zords or something, but personally, we believe that the real purpose is to drive the other Rangers crazy.

Because Tommy? CANNOT SING.

Anyway, this is one of the worst plans ever, but I so don't actually care, because it's hilarious and one of my favorite episodes of all time.

Tommy and Tanya's singing is so ridiculously over the top and dramatic and the other Rangers are all cringing and it's GREAT.

While Tommy and Tanya are singing their explanation to Zordon, the fish bait thing has been transformed into a giant caterpillar monster, and well... you might want to get out of the water.

The Rangers are clued into some serious destruction of the city, with Cogs blowing apart buildings and everything. Of course, Rocky then informs us that this is the abandoned warehouse district, and I spent the next few minutes laughing hysterically and trying to figure out how Angel Grove functions. We guess that after the first few attacks from Rita the city created a protective barrier of abandoned buildings for monsters to squash or something.

Meanwhile, Adam asks if he can pilot Tommy's Zord, because he's that awesome. Jason stays with him, while the other Rangers morph (and Tommy and Tanya sing their morphs. SO GREAT) and go fight.

This is actually a pretty cool Zord fight, mostly because the monster looks like it's right out of Labyrinth. The cogs are even attacking the Zord Bay! I mean, this is pretty epic destruction, it's great.

While Alpha changes the link so Adam can pilot the Red Battle Zord, we figured out that we're recapping Ranger of Two Worlds on Wednesday, and then there were EPIC TEARS. At least that explains where Billy is, but some in universe explanation would be great.

Adam goes and beats up the robot, but apparently Tommy's mental state is too foreign, so he loses control of the Zord. The other Rangers also lose control of their Zords which... leads to the Zords dancing? Why is there a Zord shaking its ass at the camera? NO, SERIOUSLY.

Everyone gets thrown out of their Zords, and there's a fight, and Tommy vs Archerina was pretty great. The monster gets destroyed, and while Machina is sulking about it, Mondo comes back.

At the Youth Center, we discover that Tommy got an A on his assignment. .... Really? Did his teacher give him the A to make him stop? Rocky tells Tommy that he's glad that Tommy stopped singing because he couldn't take it anymore.

Bulk and Skull come in, smelling like fish. They say they never want to see another fish again. Boys, I suggest moving far away from Angel Grove. Then they are incredibly rude to Emily, who unveils Ernie's new fish special.

.... What sort of juice bar serves fish anyway?

Fish: 4. How on earth does singing alter a telepathic link?

Fic we want: PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF TOMMY FOREVER.

Episode 194- The Joke's On Blue

For an episode with Blue in the title, this one has very little to do with Rocky.

There is a new kid in school. He says Angel Grove is much bigger than his old school and all I can imagine is he was home schooled because really? Angel Grove only had two teachers until half a season ago. :P

New Kid shows up just as a rash of practical jokes begin taking place. Rocky loses three plates of french fries to an unscrewed ketchup bottle, teachers get pies to the head, Tanya even gets something squirted all over her from the mustard bottle. There is glitter EVERYWHERE. Bulk and Skull are determined to find out who this practical joker is, and Mrs. Rodriguez will pay them handsomely if they do. Except they have rival detectives! Humphrey and Bogart, who totally don't deserve those names, challenge Bulk and Skull to figure out who can solve the mystery first. All the props come from Angel Grove Novelty Shop. Not terribly surprisingly, nobody bothers to go check with the store.

Meanwhile, on the moon, Sprocket is upset because his big brother is back in town. Prince Gasket and his wife Archerina have come to protect the family while Mondo is away. Archerina shoots love arrows and makes creatures fall in love with her. Louie Kaboom totally falls for her and she makes him go to Earth and attack the Power Rangers. She is totally awesome, although alas, she does not make Stone fall in love with a video game or Ernie with his blender. Anyway, Archerina and Gasket fell in love, but they were from rival robot families and the fathers would never approve. So they did the smart thing and ELOPED instead of committing mutual suicide (eloping is romantic, KILLING YOURSELF FOR A BOY/GIRL IS NOT... can you tell I don't like Romeo and Juliet? It's a thing about me. Sorry) I do love their love story.

So Louie goes down to fight. Fights are boring and take up a lot of time. We spent most of it further discussing which rangers lost their virginity in the Zords. It was far more entertaining.

They win, Louie is a goner, Gasket is in charge now. Back at the Youth Center, Undeserving Humphrey and Not-Cool-Enough-For-His-Name Bogart totally accuse New Kid of being the prankster behind all the jokes. He denies it, but they won't relent. Until Kat and Tanya lead the Angel Grove Novelty Shop guy into the room with the latest shipment of supplies for the Fraudsters. Bulk and Skull eventually put two and two together and Mrs. Rodriguez, now knowing who was setting all the practical jokes, tells Bulk their check is in the mail.

1.5 fish! It's a rare low fish episode! I think it's because there was hardly any Tommy...

Episode 183 - A Small Problem

There were possibly some margaritas before recapping, so I apologize in advance for any incoherency.

Tommy, Kat, Raymond the Token Jew, and Tanya are working together on some terrarium project. Tanya is going to stay behind and work on the terrarium while the others go capture some lizards and spiders and stuff. Eww, spiders. DNW. Kat is all "What could go wrong in the desert" and we are all "KAT, you are a RANGER. DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS."

Meanwhile, Sprocket has accidentally figured out how to shrink stuff. Mondo is very proud of him, even though it was an accident. They will totally shrink the Rangers.

Bulk and Skull have apparently been hired to find Old Man Murphy's goldmine. They seek the motherlode, which as far as I'm concerned is just a cheat code for The Sims. Also, they have so clearly graduated by this point.

In the desert, Raymond gives Kat and Tommy orders on what to do. He is all "I AM GETTING AN A, DO YOUR JOBS. WHY AM I STUCK WITH GROUP PROJECTS????" but that might be my own hatred of group projects coming through.

Of course, considering Tommy and Kat and Tommy's jeep promptly get shrunk by Sprocket, he was right to be concerned. (I was going to make a "Honey, I Shrunk the Rangers" joke, but apparently I need to save that for Turbo. Damn.) Sprocket decides to keep them as his pets throws them in the terrarium that Tanya is supposed to be painting, and then they have to fight a GIANT TARANTULA. Which is creepy. I hate spiders.

Raymond shows up at the youth center, all pissed off that he was abandoned in the desert, which is a justifiable anger, and Tanya tries Tommy and Kat on the communicators. But apparently because they were shrunk, their communicators don't have enough power to contact Zordon. Whatever, he was probably busy anyway.

The Gold Ranger shows up, and then the rest of the Rangers get there, and there's a fight, and everything is really boring, and eventually Billy figures out how to unshrink them, and then there are Zords and they form the Ultrazord, and dude, be more boring.

It's briefly hinted that Skull might be the Gold Ranger, which would have been awesome. Oh, and Bulk and Skull didn't find gold, they found fool's gold. Whatever.

Fish: 4. There was a lot of ridiculous science in this one.

Episode 168- Mean Screen

Before we start, I wanted to link everybody to some of the best fics in the fandom! Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange recently came to a close and all the fics were posted yesterday. And they are AWESOME. (can also be found on the prfication community on dreamwidth)

Now, to the episode. I don't like this episode. I didn't like this episode when it aired the first time and I haven't watched it since. Why? Because the WHOLE EPISODE is a science fail. Or rather, a computer fail of epic proportions.

Basically, the Rangers discover the internet! Which is always referred to as The Internet, making it sound as if it's capitalized and stuff. So Token Jewish Friend, aka Raymond, is showing Adam the ropes. He knows All About Computers and so he gets to tell everybody else what to do. I really like Raymond. I wish he had been a ranger.

Anyway, Tanya clicks a "Read Me" link with a cute smiley (facepalm) and a virus pops up saying they have 45 seconds to stop it before it infects everything. Uh... that's... not how it works (I'm going to be saying that a lot). Raymond tries to fix it from Tanya's computer, but can't, so he goes to use his laptop and fix it. Adam and Tanya are flipping out and giving the countdown and Raymond saves the day. Which is not how viruses work. But anyway. Adam finds a chatroom. He's very excited.

Mondo creates a computer monster to go to the Computer Center and hack into the the computers of Angel Grove. He absorbs the information through a cord he wrapped around the monitor, not the tower, and COMPUTERS REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T WORK LIKE THAT. He gets all the ranger information because apparently Zordon wasn't smart enough to put up a firewall or leave those plans on computers with no attachment to the internet or a network. This monster inserts a virus that affects everything from desktops to ATM machines to store automatic doors to the blockade on a street. It's apparently highly contagious. AND COMPUTER VIRUSES DON'T WORK LIKE THAT.

The rangers try to fight Mean Screen, but his virus has gotten into their weapons, despite science NOT WORKING like that. In order to save the day, Adam teleports to the school and asks Raymond for the anti-virus he created. Raymond has an obvious crush on the green ranger. He hands over his untested virus (on a floppy, oh dear g-d we are so OLD) and then mutters that nobody on the internet is going to believe this. OH RAYMOND HOW I LOVE YOU. You are the best part of this episode.

So they use MAJOR COMPUTERS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT fail and beat the monster. And things start working again. Because Raymond created an awesome anti-virus software.

Meanwhile, Billy contacts them. He's coming home! Everybody missed him. Rocky is VERY excited to see Billy! Daw.

Mondo plans to foil Billy's attempts at coming home. But that's for next time.

This episode? This was 5 fish. This was 5 fish before we were even 8 minutes into the show. Record? Maybe not, but it sure is close. And stinky.

And did I mention that SCIENCE DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT????

Episode 167 - Instrument of Destruction

Double recap tonight! To try and make up for being so behind.

There are not enough words to express how much I love this episode. It has so many things I love! Adam is a writer! Bulk and Skull have character development! The cogs are completely hilarious! Basically, the only way it would have been better for me would be if Adam made out with either Tanya or Rocky. (Or both.)

So! The episode begins with skipping Cogs, who are doing their best to replace the Zputties in my heart. They are skipping to the beat of mysterious piano music. Apparently the only other person in the school is Adam, who chases them through the school, trying to figure out a) what they're up to and b) what's with the music. It turns out that they've been sent by Sprocket, since it's Queen Machina's birthday, and he and King Mondo need a present. Clearly, some people appreciate good music. The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player runs away, and then the Cogs run away from Adam.

Later, the Worst Guidance Counselor Ever (Ms. Rodriquez) confronts Adam in the hallway, and says she wants to make some changes to his schedule. It seems that he's already taken creative writing twice (and he points out that he got an A in it both times) and she wants him to be more well rounded, so she's changed his schedule so he's taken classical music. Adam does not look too pleased, and Bulk starts mocking him, and Skull joins in at Bulk's urging, CLEARLY overcompensating for something. Tommy and Kat defend Adam (who really looks annoyed - I would be too!) and say it's good that he's branching out. Except it wasn't his choice.

I'm not really sure why Worst Guidance Counselor Ever is changing his schedule in the middle of the semester, or why she gets to do it without consulting him, but that is why she's the Worst Ever.

By the way, this episode is entirely responsible for my fanon that Adam's real career is scifi/fantasy writer, and that he just runs a dojo in his spare time because he can.

Anyway, it turns out that Skull's schedule is also changed, so he shows up in the classical music class, and gets to play the drums, while Adam plays the piano. I find it necessary to point out that Jason Narvy is ridiculously hot in this episode. We get to meet ANOTHER new teacher named Mr. Hams, but he keeps managing to mix up his word order, so I'm just going to call him Mr. Music. He says that there will be a recital that they can go to for extra credit after school that day, and then tells them to play around with their instruments. Adam plays chopsticks. For some reason, everyone is really impressed.

Later, Adam turns down a chance to go to the youth center with Tommy and Kat because he has to go practice the piano. Except then he hears the same music and the Cogs show up, so they all morph in the middle of the hallway, and a hilarious fight scene occurs. Adam dances with a cog! Then he surfs on one! It's amazing. But The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player gets away again.

I'm not sure why they morphed in the middle of the hallway though. I mean, there have to be a ton of people around. And doesn't Angel Grove have security cameras, or did Billy set up a program to delete the evidence? Who knows.

Adam goes to play the piano, playing something way too advanced for a beginner, and then finds a note in the keys that says piano lessons at the symphony at 4:30, so he assumes it's The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player, and goes chasing after him. Jackpot! The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player is there, but he's surrounded by Cogs. So, as The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player faces him, Adam morphs. He is so bad at this secret identity thing. He defeats the cogs, and goes back to the school, where he unmasks The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player. It's Skull.

There is some seriously amazing acting on the behalf of Dr. Jason Narvy here. (Speaking of him having a doctorate, I so want the AU where he's the mentor for the DT team, but more of that waaaaaaaay in the future.) Skull didn't tell anyone because he doesn't want anyone to laugh at him! He's afraid that Bulk won't love him anymore! Skull needs ALL THE HUGS. ALL OF THEM. Adam encourages him, and it's completely adorable, and they should totally go make out a lot.

Anyway, Skull goes to his piano lessons, and Mondo turns a piano into a monster, and there are some awful music related puns, and there's a fight where Adam gets captured and Tommy has to rescue him, and then they call the Zords. And the Defender Wheel. And their jet cycles. I guess they were really trying to plug all the toys this week. Monster is defeated, so we're going back to the important part, which is how Bulk and Skull are freaking awesome.

That evening, all of the Rangers are attending the recital, even though Adam is the only one who is getting extra credit. Mr. Music announces that there's a late addition to the program, and then can't believe that Skull's name is on the list. Everyone in the audience is completely horrible, except for Adam, who starts clapping. Skull comes out, and he's all dressed like Liberace, making him my favorite forever. Everyone is shocked at how awesome he is, and they keep talking during the concert. FAIL.

Then Bulk comes in, asking who the dork is, until he sees it's Skull. He's practically moved to tears. When Skull finishes playing, he let's out his trademark laugh, and then gets a standing ovation, which he totally deserves.

Bulk comes up to Skull, and Skull looks terrified. Bulk asks why Skull didn't tell him, and Skull says that Bulk said that music was for dweebs. Bulk tells him that if he said that, he was wrong, and oh my god, so much character development. Bulk grew as a person! Because he loves Skull!

Seriously, this episode is amazing, and they need ALL THE HUGS. ALL OF THEM.

Fish 2: Worst Guidance Counselor Ever. Also, that was some major secret identity fail.

Episode 160 - For Cryin' Out Loud

This episode is not one of my favourites. It's not as bad as I remember, but it's still kind of... uh... fishy.

So we start out AWESOME. Adam and Rocky are MOCKING TOMMY to the fullest extent. They're even singing the wedding march and apologizing for not having time to get gifts. Tanya joins them and wonders what's going on. Tommy explains that he and Kat have to pretend to be married for a few days for a class project. Tanya joins in on the mocking. Because she is just awesome like that.

Kat finally shows up and, surprise!, she has a baby with her. A REAL baby. Not some soda bottle baby, or the flour baby, or even one of those high tech baby dolls I hear they use now. No, she has a real, live, flesh and blood, breathing toddler in her hands. I'd estimate he's about... oh... 14 months old? He's young. He's the most freaking adorable little baby I've seen on this show, though!

Kat apparently agreed to watch this little boy, whom she babysits for on occasion, for "a couple of days" while they're doing their project. First of all, who lets a teenager babysit a baby that young for "a couple of days"? I did overnights with kids when I was 17/18/19, sure, but they were generally older children and I DIDN'T HAVE SCHOOL. Nobody would say "Sure, take my kid for a couple of days and he can go to all your high school classes with you!" Uh... no. Second of all, it wasn't really fair of her to spring this child on Tommy "for their class project" when it wasn't actually a part of the class project. They just had to pretend to be married, no children involved. I mean, my kids are a prime example of the fact that more children are surprises than planned, but still... that's... more than a little extreme for a class project. And at least if it were real life surprise!baby, Tommy would have had a good 8-9 months to prepare for a wrinkly little alien invading his life. But hey, the kid is there now and there is nothing "Daddy" can do about it, so he will help out and do the best he can.

Anyway, back to the story. Everybody oohs and aahs over the adorableness of Joey, and then Tanya notices a distinct aroma. She and Rocky quickly make excuses and flee. Adam doesn't even bother with an excuse. He just runs away. Far, far away. Tommy tries to sneak off and Kat calls him back to help her change the diaper. I really can't blame her. She may have sprung this kid on him, but he's supposed to be "Daddy" here so he BETTER help her out.

On the moon, the Machine Empire is basically bickering over who had what idea. King Mondo wins, as usual, and creates the BooHoo Monster out of some of Joey's toys. This causes something to happen to amplify and alter Joey's cries so everything he begins to cry, he causes an earthquake. Suddenly we aren't so sure he isn't really Tommy's illegitimate son...

Joey ends up at school with Kat in what we're assuming is the next day. Bulk and Skull try to stop her from entering the computer area with the baby, as it's been designated a no-crying zone. She gets in anyway. Rocky says babies can't be THAT much trouble. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Oh, Rocky. Joey wakes up and starts crying, causing an earthquake. Kat and Rocky get him outside and calmed down while Tommy and Billy go try to figure out what caused it. Meanwhile, Kat and Rocky get joined by Adam and Tanya just in time to get attacked by Cogs. Tommy joins them and they morph to fight, Kat running off to the side with the baby. Luckily Alpha shows up to watch over Joey while Kat goes to fight. We want a MILLION FICS of Alpha babysitting, like he did with Baby!Dillon. Unfortunately, cogs get hold of Alpha and fry his circuits, kidnapping Joey in the process.

There is some really bad episode splicing with Sentai and the rangers end up fighting downtown. "Joey" (who looks very little like the American Joey, and looks like she could be a girl in the Sentai...) is up on top of a really tall and flimsy metal staircase, so Tommy fights his way up. There is some dramatic scene where he nearly falls off, but the baby doesn't budge in his stroller, and he, unsurprisingly, eventually makes it to the top. He offers Joey a bottle only to discover it's empty. What a tease, Tommy. Unfortunately, the staircase gets attacked and the stroller falls off the edge. Tommy jumps after it, grabbing it in midair, and lands safely. Except it's empty!

Because Billy is SMART and teleported baby Joey to "help him out in the Chamber". OMG Billy with a baby? SO FREAKIN CUTE.

Back to the fight, they have to call out the Zords and there's a big boring fight and they win. As usual.

At school, they are all saying goodbye to Joey who is apparently going home now that the project that didn't really involve babies is over. The teacher comes up to Tommy and Kat and congratulates them, says he enjoyed their performance, and then just gives them their grade right there in front of everybody. Kat mentions looking forward to having kids one day, in the future, y'know, far in the future, not now by any means. The teachers says he was hoping to hear that because he and his wife need a babysitter for that Saturday. For their twins. And Kat just can't say no. So she agrees. And the teacher says he had hoped Tommy would join in. So Tommy has to help now too. Hahahhaha.

3.5 fish. It wasn't as bad as I remember, but it certainly wasn't great. The only reason I'd ever rewatch is for the adorableness of the baby. Dawwwwwwwbabies.

Fic we want: Alpha as a babysitter. Millions and millions of fics of Alpha as a babysitter.

Episode 159 - Target Rangers

AHAHAHA DID YOU SEE THE NEW PROMO FOR SEASON 18? BECAUSE WE DID!

Have a link!

Anyway, let's talk about Zeo and how Rocky is a giant dork. These are things I love, so! The episode opens with Rocky trying to hit on his science partner, Jennifer. She is so not interested, it's actually pretty ridiculous. He falls off his chair at one point. She keeps babbling about the project and he's all "So, this dance?" and she ignores him. Their science project was apparently to create a videogame, which is pretty awesome, except the things they're saying makes no sense. Even with Jennifer being completely anal about the project, she still allows Rocky to keep the password.

Rocky and Adam go and talk about Rocky's interest in Jennifer, which Rocky is denying. Adam is pretty clearly going "Dude, I'm dating Tanya. So you should probably also find a girl." However, King Mondo wants the password for some reason, so he sends down Cogs to fight them, and they MORPH. What is with the lack of unmorphed fights? I miss it! :( Anyway, the Cogs steal the password.

Up in the Power Chamber, Billy is working on something awesome. He wishes that they'd had it when he was a Ranger, and Alpha mocks him. It's pretty awesome. The Cog that stole the password (which is MOOK. Hilarious, but also the worst password ever) uses it to turn some junk into a robot.

Just in case you were wondering, Bulk and Skull were supposed to be guarding the junkyard. This... ends pretty much how you would expect.

Rocky and Adam let everyone know that they've been robbed, and they go find the monster, which grows. There is a ridiculously long Zord fight, which ends with the robot trying to throw them into the sun. Billy calls with a solution - apparently the Zords all have special helmets, some of which have better powers than others. They use the new powers to escape from the sun's gravity. Then they destroy the monster.

Later, Rocky's lab partner is freaking out because their data has been lost. Rocky is all "My bad" and she is understandably PISSED. He produces the disc (it's a floppy disc. SO OLD) and all is well. He tries to ask her out again, and she is STILL PISSED as she SHOULD BE because he screwed up their project. (It wasn't really his fault, but um, I'm guessing she did all the work.) ILU Rocky, but you're being THAT GUY. He tries to convince her to go out with him again, and this time she's all "well, maybe later."

Fish: 4. For the ridiculous fight scene and the password thing.

Episode 140- Master Vile and the Metallic Armour Part 1

It's Master Vile! I love Master Vile.

So we start this episode off with Civilian Rangers plus Bulk, Skull, and Lt. Stone on horses. They're riding through what looks like the park, western style. Most of them seem comfortable enough, and Kat even suggests galloping through the meadow. Skull complains about being on horseback, but for all his griping, he knows how to ride! He's got the best seat I've seen in quite some time, certainly the best seat of all the actors in this scene!

There is some generic discussion of nature and fun, but mostly we just pay attention to Adam and Billy's arms, and get irritated that Rocky is in long sleeves. Because apparently we can get half-naked Adam OR Rocky, but not both.

Anyway, it suddenly gets very dark and the ground starts shaking. Everybody dismounts and the rangers find a Very Large Tree to stand in front of. They can't get in touch with Zordon and so, it being dark, and their audience being Bulk and Skull, decide to teleport to the Command Center anyway. Alpha is powered down and Zordon is nowhere to be found. The Command Center appears to be out of power.

Oddly enough, on the moon, the same thing is happening. Rita wonders if Finster has forgotten to pay the electric bill again. In comes a mysterious figure. Zedd wonders who has come into his palace unannounced, and Rita goes all goey. Because she knows who it is. It's Master Vile! Her father! Zeddy, meet the in-laws.

Back on Earth, the Command Center and Alpha manage to reboot. Zordon comes back and tells them all about what's going on. He mentions Master Vile is Rita's father and Rocky is all amazed that Rita has a father. Oh, Rocky, Honey. You're not a stupid young man. Of course Rita has a father. Does Adam need to explain reproductive biology to you again?

Anyway, Zordon tells them about new metallic armour they will get. He also tells them about the Zeo crystal (ooo foreshadowing) and how it's protected by a force field that will only let the most innocent of pure hearts through. It's being held in caves on the moon directly beneath Rita's palace. Which is on the moon. On top of the caves. That are on the moon.

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull are wondering where the Civilian Rangers are, and Lt. Stone tries to get them to see what's going on. He says that darkness can only mean one thing, and Skull says daylight savings time much be over. Lt. Stone is smart, however, and knows it means a monster attack is soon to follow! He needs volunteers to ride for help and the horses push Bulk and Skull forward. Aw, horses.

Back on the moon, Zedd is not so much trying to impress Master Vile, Father-In-Law, as he is trying to one-up him. Oh Zedd, baby, no. That's... not how it's done. Vile doesn't believe that Zedd captured Ninjor and so Rito brings the jar over, only he trips on something he can't see due to all the fog all over the place, and drops the jar. It shatters and Ninjor is free! They try to catch him but he escapes and goes right to the Command Center. Vile says he's going to take Rito and Monkey Boy to carry out his evil plan.

The Rangers don't seem too terribly happy to see Ninjor is finally free, but then, he was held captive on the moon for how many weeks now? And never once did they even attempt to come up with a rescue plan. So I don't think they were too concerned about it in the first place.

Tengas attack Bulk and Skull and so the rangers morph and go fight. Bulk and Skull get away but the rangers are overtaken by the Tengas. They can't fight them off this time. They call Ninjor and he goes to help them, and he grows, and then he gets his ass kicked. And he gets captured AGAIN.

But that's okay. The rangers get their new metallic armour. It looks nothing like metal. In fact, it looks like somebody threw glitter on their existing spandex. They SPARKLE. I shall from now on call them all Edward. They finally beat back the Tengas.

Back in the Command Center, Tommy is sure they need the Falcon Zord to win. We aren't sure why. They realize they need the Zeo crystal and figure Tommy is the purest good one and he should go. We do a double take. Because really? Tommy? He's the most likely to BE EVIL, and you're sending him???? Oh show. Kat decides she's going to distract Rita and Zedd by pretending to be evil again. Okay, I'll buy it.

Billy comes up with a plan to form their MegaZord even without the Falcon Zord. He's going to sell more toys by using it in place of the actual zord! Somehow the toy is tied into the zords and the Command Center and tricks them into thinking the Falcon Zord is there? Again, not sure why the Falcon Zord is the only solution here.

We learn a bit more of Master Vile's plan, what with him barfing up a big green egg full of blue goo that ten turns into a Goo Monster. Frankly, I think Ivan Ooze did it better. Vile has used the Goo Monster to drain Ninjors powers. And instead of THAT being our cliffhanger, we get more Kat-will-pretend-to-be-evil angst. Because apparently that's a better cliffhanger than Vile slowly draining away all of Ninjor's powers.

4 fish. It was... not a bad episode, just didn't make a lot of sense on it's own.

Episode 139 - A Chimp in Charge

Hey! This is our last update before Power Morphicon! I will be attending Morphicon, and I'll have handy dandy little fliers to hand out to promote so come find me!

Anyway, there's something you need to know about me. I read comics. I read a lot of comics. And comics have this thing about monkeys. Gorilla Grodd, Detective Chimp, Ultra-Humanite, Congorilla, Titano... look, I read Marvel Apes, and that was one of the worst comics ever written. So you have to understand, my initial reaction to this episode was "OOOH! MONKEY!"

The episode begins, and we sit through the incredibly Kat heavy opening, and we're hoping that this will be a heavy Billy episode, because we love David Yost a whole lot. Instead, we get another Kat episode with Billy in a fairly significant role. And Adam and Rocky are off having sex the whole episode barely in it.

So, apparently we have come to the end of the school year! I have to choose to believe that this is the end of their junior year, with Zeo being their senior year, except I'm not sure if MMPR 1 and 2 was freshman and sophomore year, or if there's some sort of weird time condensing going on. Also, I'm pretty sure we just had summer vacation. Ms. Applebee announces that for their final project they have to do a ten minute presentation on language. Any language. We're not sure which class this is - linguistics? In high school? Bulk and Skull assume that they can just stand up and speak English for ten minutes, but they get that thought squashed pretty firmly.

In the youth center, we find out that Tommy and Billy are going to be deciphering hieroglyphics, and we assume this was Billy's idea, and Tommy just wanted the A. Also, that is way advanced for a high school class. Well, this whole class makes no sense. We have no idea what Adam and Rocky are doing, but Kat has offered to babysit her aunt's chimpanzee and she and Aisha plan on teaching it sign language. In two days.

AHAHAHA.

No, seriously, pause for a minute and think about that.

AHAAHAHAHAHA.

Ok. Look, there is so much wrong with this, I don't even know where to start, but I'll try. 1-Who lets a teenager borrow a monkey? 2-Do they really think they can do this in two days? 3-they live in Angel grove. Doesn't the aunt realize the monkey will probably grow wings and try to capture Dorothy?

I could keep going, but I think I've made my point.

While Kat is showing off her monkey (ape, gorilla, chimpanzee, mongbabrilla, whatever) Bulk and Skull are informed that someone has stolen Ernie's bananas. They are on the case. Then they compare Tommy and the monkey. It's actually a good joke! The monkey was amused! Bulk realizes that monkeys eat bananas, and asks Skull who is the most likely to steal bananas. Skull answers his cousin Femur in New Jersey, but he's off at chess camp. I really want that story. But they will go spy on the monkey.

Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd decide to steal the monkey. I am shocked by this news. They send Tengas (and Finster!) down to the park, and the Rangers (minus Adam and Rocky, who are brushing up their oral skills) go fight the Tengas (with Kat just putting down the ape and telling it to stay) and the monkey (who is named Kelly, after Kim's cousin) manages to dodge Finster. Tommy wonders what Zedd wants. HMMM.

Back at Aisha's house, the girls are trying to teach themselves and the ape sign language. They go get a snack, and Aisha proves that she is still a bad pet owner, as Kelly wanders outside, where she promptly molests Bulk and Skull. It is cute. Bulk and Skull tell the monkey to lead them to the bananas, so the ape takes them to.... a random Rastafarian fruit seller in the park? Sure. The guy has chimp sized clothing and dresses Kelly up, and then Zedd turns the monkey into the Sinister Simian, which is totally straight out of comics.

Some of the fish are countered by the fact that we have a monkey in sunglasses. Seriously, something that awesome deserves credit. Oh, and the monster is clearly a baboon and not a chimpanzee.

Zordon was paying attention for once, and he calls the Rangers. They're concerned about hurting Kelly, even though usually the spell is broken and the monster goes back to whatever it was before as soon as they destroy it. But in this case, we need to showcase how awesome Billy is, so he needs to steal some fur from the monkey and then go make a reverse monkey formula and at this point the fish are swarming so heavily that I was too busy laughing to be paying much attention.

Oh, and Tommy molests a random blond girl. We need to point that out. (He's telling her to get to safety.)

Anyway, Billy builds his phallic symbol device, and the monkey grows and they "hit her in exactly the right spot" with the phallic device and then the monkey is fine again. Then we get a shot where we can see right up Kat's skirt. Great job, wardrobe!

Back at the Youth Center, we find out that apparently Kat and Aisha have taught the ape a lot of signs, so they should be getting their PhDs any moment now. (Hey, maybe that explains Tommy.) Oh, and it turns out that the delivery guy had put the bananas in the freezer, so they were never stolen. Too bad Bulk and Skull had already arrested the Rastafarian fruit seller.

The episode ends with Bulk being molested by the monkey again. Clearly she knows that one day Bulk will also be a monkey.

Fish: 4.5 Even though everything is better with monkeys, the fish were really swarming this episode.

Billy Speak: "Well, we thought it'd be interesting to examine ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics and their translation in modern society."
"Well, if I can get a fur sample, perhaps I can analyze how they were transformed and figure out a way to change her back."
"After I devised the anti-transformation formula, I was able to mold it into this projectile."

Episode 138- Another Brick In The Wall

Today is apparently the start of Kat being a Very Special Snowflake on the Ranger team. I don't dislike Kat, but this episode starts to show why I never actively sought out her episodes after the first run on tv. It's the first in the migration from team-oriented episodes, or at least attempting to showcase the others in a ranger-specific episode.

We start with Adam and Tommy sparring. Kat comes up with a model home in her hands. It's apparently a model for a restoration project she's taking part in and she designed it herself. It's a very small, modest house, with a HUGE three to four car garage (seriously, two equal sized garage doors and the garage itself is the same size as the entire house). We theorize this project creates houses for people who have been displaced by monster attacks.

Rita is disgusted at how goody-goody Kat has become. Goldar makes some snide comments and Rita defends Rito, saying what a big help he's been and how he's done more for her than Goldar and Zedd combined. Aw, Rita loves her brother! That's sweet.

Back on Earth, Kat has taken lessons from Aisha in How To Run Things. She is wearing a pink hard hat (in the Youth Center) and ordered about thirty people around. Apparently there is nobody to paint, however, and I have to wonder... what is wrong that not one of these thirty people can pick up a paintbrush or roller? Really? That's a lot of people for just landscaping. I won't complain too much. We get some nice shots of Adam and Billy's arms, though the episode is sadly lacking in flexing Rocky.

Anyway, everybody gets to work on this big brick wall and gardening and the place looks great. Kat is going to stay behind to take pictures, but meet up with everybody later. She's not worried about things because she has Bulk and Skull (covered in soap and goodness knows what else, and currently knocked unconscious under a tree, which nobody seems concerned either) to protect her, and I bristle. Don't tease the poor boys. It's cruel.

As soon as everybody leaves, Tengas and Rito show up. They wake up Bulk and Skull and chase them away while destroying as much of the work as possible. Kat fights for awhile but then remembers she has a communicator and calls Zordon. He sends the others in and they fight for a bit. I love the Ninja powers, but I really miss the unmorphed fights. Rito and the Tengas go away as Rita calls down a new monster. She takes a section of the brick wall and turns it into the monster, just another brick in the wall.

They morph and fight, but the brick monster turns first Aisha and Adam, and then Tommy and Rocky into bricks. Kat and Billy are the last ones standing. We can only assume Rocky is not the last one standing because the rangers were not turned into balls this time, unlike... well... all the other times. Kat and Billy collect the bricks and teleport to the Command Center while the monster runs around eating building supplies.

Zordon discovers the rangers are not actually bricks, but rather have been shrunken and encased in bricks. Billy suggests they erode the bricks away to release their teammates and Kat, having learned about erosion in architecture class (not science? In like, second grade? Really?), agrees to help. But alas, the monster is terrorizing Angel Grove and so Billy goes to fight it, leaving Kat to do all the science-y stuff.

Now here's my thing. Billy is the science-guy. Billy is the genius. Billy is the chemist. Shouldn't Billy have been the one to stay and free the others? But no. KAT gets to do it because KAT is super special and knows all about erosion and Kat had a random moment of guilt so she has to absolve herself of... I'm not sure what. She and Alpha manage to use pollution to erode the bricks (OMG they're all going to die of cancer now... what, wouldn't WATER have worked???) and release the other rangers.

But wait! She's too late. Because Billy is a BADASS and manages to defeat the monster ALL ON HIS OWN. He is now on fighting-level-AWESOME with Kim. Go Billy! And... all the others thank Kat profusely and only remember to say "Hey, good job, Buddy" when Kat talks up Billy's awesomeness.

Back at the restoration sight, everybody is standing around waiting on the mayor. Lt. Stone comes up wondering what's taking so long, having sent Bulk and Skull to find out who stole all the building materials (because he didn't believe a monster took them... what, is he new to Angel Grove or something?). Just then, Bulk and Skull come up having restrained a woman in a nice suit carrying a golden shovel. They insist she's the thief even though she says she's the mayor, and Lt. Stone turns about four shades of red in anger because, uh, she actually is the mayor. They release her and apologize while she tells Kat what a great job she did. Kat is handed the useless golden shovel.

And that was a short episode clocking in at only 19 minutes. Wow.

4 fish. The pollution thing? Just flat out ridiculous. And dangerous.

Episode 126- Final Face-Off

Well. We're never watching THIS one again.

So we start off with the rangers (minus Kim, who is training for the Pan Globals in the first mention of them) walking into a museum and wondering where the Kahmala exhibit is. Rocky consults a map and points directly ahead, y'know, where the big huge sign for the Kahmala exhibit is. They determine all the priceless cultural artifacts from this entire civilization (from Kahmala, which they never explain where this country is supposed to be) are creepy. Really guys? Creepy? Way to be non-xenophobic and open-minded there, guys.

The only good thing about this episode is that Billy and Adam at least took the time to learn a little about another culture and it's mythology BEFORE talking to other people about it.

They learn about the Face Stealer, a mythological monster who came out and... stole faces. Avatar did it waaaaayyyyy better. It was trapped in a jar and they've got the jar on display. Rita decides this is a great idea and sends down her minions to steal the Face Stealer. I'm going to ignore the racefail in her speech and just focus on the fact that she wants to turn the rangers into zombies.

There is a Tenga attack not five minutes into the episode, which is never a good sign, and then Rito, Squatt, and Baboo break lots of priceless artifacts while stealing stuff. The rangers show up after everything is stolen and find in charge of the display Museum Lady upset. They go look for clues like the meddling teenagers they are.

Face Stealer is woken up, Zedd makes a crack about 500 years being a nap to him, and then Face Stealer goes and steals Bulk and Skull's faces. It then manages to steal Adam and Aisha's faces as well. I hate this episode. The "flesh" revealed once the faces are stolen is white. Why is it white? Adam and Aisha aren't white. I... could rant on this for hours. But I'll spare you. Because I don't want to be that angry tonight. And I've already written this paragraph about four times now.

I'm just going to skip to the end. Billy figures out how to get the faces back, they beat the Face Stealer, capture him in his jar, and give the jar and mask to Bulk and Skull to return. The cops stop Bulk and Skull from returning the jar and mask because, despite the uniforms, they think Bulk and Skull stole them in the first place. Museum Lady shows up at the Youth Center to tell the rangers that the priceless artifacts were returned.

Frankly, I want to pretend this episode did not happen.

5 fish. This episode is so full of fail. Fail, fail, everywhere. ARG!

Episode 123 - Fourth Down and Long

Today on Power Rangers, it's a Very Special Episode about dyslexia! And football. And about how whenever there's a Rocky centric episode the other Rangers get turned into things.

Honestly, before this episode I would have sworn that I'd seen every episode of MMPR, but I didn't remember this one at all!

We are back in Mr. Wilton's class, where Billy begins the necessary exposition. We find out that apparently Rocky's uncle is a really famous quarterback and he's coming to speak to the football team or something. For some reason, they are just chatting in the middle of class, and the teacher waits until they're done with the conversation before reminding them it's time to put on their safety goggles and start mixing chemicals.

Rocky asks his partner, Alan, (he's partnered with a non-Ranger! Gasp!) to read the formula. His partner reads the formula, Rocky combines the chemicals, and the stuff emits a gas, forcing class to be evacuated, and Mr. Wilton to threaten to kick the partner off the football team. Oh noes!

On the moon, Rita makes fun of their chemistry skills, and Zedd proves he has no athletic talents at all. Finster's centipede monster mold accidentally gets combined with a football, and we get our monster of the week.

Back in Angel Grove, we find out that Bulk and Skull don't appear to go to class anymore, because they're always busy with police things. This time they're guarding Rocky's uncle. Billy reads over the notes, and says that the Alan must have reversed the formula. Rocky offers to tutor Alan, and they have a conversation about how smart Alan is, but how he has trouble reading. After the tutoring session, they realize they missed Uncle Joe, so they go to find him, only to discover that the monster has shown up, and already turned Bulk and Skull into footballs. Alan and Joe soon follow, and Rocky has the best shocked expression on his face. His acting skills have improved a lot, he really sells that anger.

Rocky calls Zordon, who calls the other Rangers, but the other Rangers manage to get themselves turned into footballs. Rocky teleports back to the Command Center and successfully figures out a way to reverse the spell, proving for once and for all, that he is smart. End of discussion. He's also the only one who figures out that maybe you should DODGE THE FOOTBALL that will turn you into a football. FAIL HARDER, RANGERS.

The football fight would have been way more entertaining if there had been football putties instead of tengas. Just for the record.

Anyway, Ninjor shows up to help, and Zordon warns them that there's going to be a snowstorm even though there is NO SNOW in Angel Grove and they go down and reverse the spell and rescue everyone. The monster grows, they punch it, everyone goes home happy. For the record, the snow looks completely ridiculous, like the screen was just all static-y. It gets better once they have the actual Zord fight, but argh.

Later, all the Rangers are having a bad hair day (side effect of being turned into footballs) and Uncle Joe tells them that Alan isn't kicked off the team anymore, because he's fixed everything! It turns out that Uncle Joe also has dyslexia, and he recognized it in Alan, so he got him tested, and sometimes teachers don't recognize it but Mr. Wilton totally has strategies to help him now, and the important thing is that he isn't kicked off the team! Cue very special episode cheering.

Bulk and Skull get in trouble for being afraid of footballs (Which is understandable, since they got TURNED INTO THEM) and then Bulk gets covered in fruit salad. Everyone laughs at them. Oh, SHOW. How about a very special episode about why mocking others is wrong, instead?

Fish: 4. How do you NOT DODGE the football? Also, there is no snow in Angel Grove.

Billy speak: "Judging from the explosion that occurred, and the formula you have written here, I'd say you reversed the elements."
"Yeah, you read them backwards. That's what caused such an adverse reaction."

Covered in: Bulk is covered in fruit salad

Episode 122- Wizard for a Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present for your viewing pleasure, pretty much the only real actual Rocky-centric episode that gives him some semblance of development. Sure we get another one (next episode in fact), but it's not really character development and if I remember correctly, it's more about a FRIEND and random relative than it is Rocky. ANYWAY! Today I get to bask in the glory of TEH PRETTY.

So Billy is doing martial arts with Tommy in the Youth Center. Billy is very pretty. I highly approve of this. He's getting ready to break a board when Rocky comes in with a huge stack of books. Rocky is also very pretty. Not even five minutes in and we're getting one of the prettiest episodes of the season. *happy sigh*

Rocky explains that he's been selected for the Teacher for a Day program Angel Grove High does every single year. He explains it as if he's been party to this program his entire high school career, yet only a few months prior he lived in Stone Canyon. I guess we're supposed to forget that part. So apparently this is a program where for one day a student takes the place of a teacher, teaching all the classes, doing everything the teacher would be doing. The teacher gets to go through the teenager's classes and school day. I have mixed feelings about this program. Anyway, Rocky is carrying all these books because Mr. Wilton, the science teacher (OMG Angel Grove now has THREE teachers! Must have been a big budget year), has given him all his teacher editions to help him in classes the next day.

Next day? Wait. One day to prepare? Rocky gets ONE day to learn course material for all the science classes? That's not very fair. Nevermind that teaching is A LOT more involved than just picking up a book with all the answers and giving that information to the kids. Way way way more involved. You can't just be successful with one day to go over a teacher edition textbook. Wow.

So apparently Mr. Wilton is a bit of a hard ass and the rest of the Rangers don't seem to keen to have him hang out with them all the following day. They jump when he talks, call him Sir all the time, stand at attention, and Tommy even compliments his tie in an effort to suck up. It doesn't appear to work.

The following morning, Rocky shows up to school in a SUIT. And my screen explodes from OMGTHEPRETTYSOSOSOSOPRETTY. My literal words were "HOT DAMN! Rocky in a suit." Bulk and Skull, handing out parking tickets, see Rocky leave a building with all the teacher books. They think perhaps he's trying to cheat and stole the books. This is actually good thinking on their parts! They are determined to investigate and return the "stolen" books. As Rocky heads to class, leaving the books in his locker, Bulk and Skull break in and take the books back. This is actually not too bad of a plan, except they didn't investigate first. Oh boys.

Rocky heads back to his locker but finds the books missing. He can't wait, however, and hurries off to class to teach anyway. He's obviously going over something new and, having had no time to prepare or learn it himself, doesn't do a half bad job of at least naming some of the chemicals he's using. Though he ends up creating a big mess and not actually teaching much. Later, in history class (with yet another teacher that is not Ms. Applebee!), Mr. Wilton, who's name is actually Wilbur (poor guy, Wilbur Wilton? What were his parents thinking?), disrupts things by answering all the questions properly and then telling everybody else to be quiet. He gets sent to the principal's office.

We have to pause here because really? This doesn't make a lot of sense. It would be better to have the teacher there shadowing the student while s/he teaches (and then had the student shadow the teacher while s/he learns on a different day). I mean, they don't even let student teachers run a class unsupervised! Classrooms... well they just don't work like that! But then again, this IS Angel Grove we're talking about and they DO lack quality education. And teachers. Though at a whopping FOUR teachers, the staff really does seem to be growing by leaps and bounds.

So Rito, having observed this odd little program Rocky is taking part in, has decided he wants to do the same thing. He wants to switch places with Rita and Zedd. They are hesitant, but Rita eventually agrees and talks Zedd into going along with it. Rito takes the throne, takes the Z staff, and then comes up with a brilliant plan while Rita and Zedd taunt him. He calls Finster to make him a monster, but Finster refuses. He doesn't serve anybody but Empress Rita! Rito is determined, however, and goes to make a monster himself. Rito is so awesome.

At the end of the school day, Rocky finds Mr. Wilton in the park. Mr. Wilton assures Rocky that he had no idea, it really is hard to be a teenager, much harder than when he was a kid. I'm kind of surprised by that. Being a teenager is hard and a crapshot no matter what era it's in. Rocky agrees that being a teacher is also hard, and then invites Mr. Wilton to the Youth Center. He says he'll follow along shortly and Rocky (OMGSOPRETTYINASUIT) walks off. Mr. Wilton is then attacked by the DUMBEST TENGAS EVER. Goldar has goaded Rito (so the Rita to Rito's Zedd) into sending them down while he finishes up his monster. They apparently think balding, middle aged, blonde haired blue eyed Mr. Wilton is ROCKY. Delicious, dark, Latino ROCKY DESANTOS. Um... yeah. Stupid birds. So they start to haul off Mr. Wilton but Rocky chases after them, uses his communicator to call for help (because he's AWESOME and SMART and KNEW HE HAD ONE), and then attacks in Ninja Mode. He can't hold them off, but the others show up about the same time Rito does. Rito turns MR. WILTON into the monster. That's right, he used a HUMAN BEING, whom he knew the Rangers would NOT hurt, into the MONSTER (and okay, so the turning into a monster was mostly a mistake, but it was still an awesome move!). Because he's freaking BRILLIANT!

So Monster!Mr. Wilton, with a creepy real Mr. Wilton face inside begging for help, starts to turn the others into chemical compounds. He's about to get Rocky when Tommy takes the Heroic Moment of the Day and dramatically pushes him out of the way in slow motion, taking the shot on himself. Really show? Did Tommy HAVE to have a dramatic hero moment in this episode? I mean, at least the whole episode isn't Secretly About Tommy, but this is Rocky's episode, one of the precious precious few we get (which I cling to tenaciously, stroke, and call My Precious). Let HIM have the hero moments.

So with everybody else turned into chemical compounds, Rito collects them all and then taunts Rocky. But Rocky is smart. He steals them back from Rito and then immediately teleports out of there and straight to the Command Center. Alpha, unfortunately, knows how to turn Rangers from soccer balls (oddly enough, in the OTHER Rocky-centric episode we get) back into Rangers, but NOT from chemical compounds back into Rangers. He starts freaking out, but Rocky uses his head! He remains calm and focused on the problem at hand, calming Alpha enough to help build a device that will change them back from a liquid state. Because Rocky is AWESOME and a GREAT leader. Too bad he never got to BE leader, since it was stolen from him and all. Not that I'm still bitter or anything. Ahem.

So everybody is back to their normal selves and Rocky comes up with a plan to destroy the monster to set Mr. Wilton free, and everybody says this was all thanks to the teaching for a day thing. Which... um... okay? I don't quite see how that's helping AT ALL here, but whatever. Fish. Move on.

So they go fight, Rito makes Monster!Mr. Wilton grow, they call the zords. They give him a smack down and Rocky, feeling responsible (how is it your fault, honey? I don't know), goes to finish him off alone. It takes one hit and the monster is gone, leaving Mr. Wilton lying in the grass in the park. The Rangers rush to make sure he's okay.

Back in the Youth Center later that day, Rocky talks about being a teacher and how it's hard and lots of work and we're all really? You think? DUH! Mr. Wilton learned to relax a little, and is now telling the story of how the Power Rangers rescued him. To ALL the teenage girls. He's VERY popular with the teenage girls. He seems pleased. I'm incredibly squicked out. Dude, it's not good to be middle aged and surrounded by teenage girls like that. It's CREEPY.

Bulk and Skull show up with the "stolen" teachers editions and give them back to Mr. Wilton. They accuse Rocky of cheating and Mr. Wilton defends him, making Bulk and Skull quake in their boots, call him Sir, and run away. Everyone laughs and I'm just... still kind of creeped out by Mr. Wilton and all the girls. (and I really think Rocky would have done FINE if he'd had the books the whole time)

4 fish because education doesn't work like that, but at least it wasn't entirely Secretly About Tommy.

Episode 112- Blue Ranger Gone Bad

This episode is fishy and weird and really poorly written and just all around bad but I DON'T CARE! I love it so very very much. It's horrible, yet it's one of my favourites. And did you know it will be airing on Nick? When all the other 700 episodes air? Because Haim Saban bought back Power Rangers? Because it totally will be. And I'll love it on network tv again. :D

So we start out with the rangers in art class, all except Rocky and Aisha whom we are assuming are sequestered somewhere else making out. Art class is being taught by somebody who is not Principal Caplan OR Ms. Applebee! Angel Grove High must have had room in the budget to hire a third teacher. Billy has made a hologram, though we're not sure how that's art. Tommy has made what looks like the sawed off head of a mannequin. Another girl in the class has made a statue of Billy. She watches him the entire class. She flirts badly with him. She makes googly eyes and giggles a lot. She molds him out of clay. She's... creepy, which is about the nicest thing I can say about Violet.

Anywho, Kim talks Billy into asking her out on a date, in what we can only assume is her desire to bond with somebody over creepy significant others, and they all head off to the Juice Bar. They are attacked along the way by AWESOME POSING PUTTIES! Seriously, the putties don't get more awesome than this. *will miss the Z putties* In the fight, everybody is very very pretty (though I don't think so with Tommy, but TSB does, so he gets included here too). Goldar uses tentacle-like vines to ensnare Billy and teleport him to the Alternate Dimension Room of Fog Machines, where Goldar is disappointed Billy is not Jason, but figures he'll have to do. They have stolen Violet's statue and made and Evil!Billy out of it. Billy pulls the first male 'scream for Tommy' and I'm saddened momentarily. Evil!Billy glares at Good!Billy and is very hot, which cheers me right back up again. Good!Billy refuses to believe his friends won't notice that he's suddenly turned evil and is very hot while being deliberately obtuse. Oh Billy, honey, you have bad friends. They don't notice spells, you can bet they won't notice an evil clone.

Evil!Billy is very attractive while being sent to the park to rejoin his friends. He's bad at pretending to be Good!Billy, but he's still awesome. He's also apparently smarter than Good!Billy because he refuses to ask Violet out on a date, right to the point of ignoring her when she's talking to him at the Juice Bar. He lifts weights a lot and refuses to study math, but does manage to use the hottest Billy!speak to talk the others out of their communicators and then steals their morphers. He's also very pretty while being evil.

Tommy somehow was the smart one here and kept his communicator, sneaking away to contact Zordon about the "upgrades" Billy will be doing. They decide something isn't right and check into Billy.

The gang get attacked by West Side Story putties and I squee with delight! Zordon has managed to teleport Good!Billy to the park and he's now face to face with Evil!Billy. The others, having discovered their morphers were taken, are now trying to both get them back AND figure out which Billy is their Billy. It's made even harder when Billy morphs and... Evil!Billy morphs with him? What? That... makes no sense. But I don't care because Two Billys! Kim uses her brain and asks about the hologram. Only Good!Billy knows what it is, and they morph and quickly do away with Evil!Billy. We know there is some fic where they rescue the wrong Billy, but we feel there should be MORE. Or at least linked to older fic. Ahem.

Anyway, Zedd and Rita fight over Zedd's staff (gigglesnort) and then make a monster out of Tommy's "art" project. The rangers call zords, they form the megazord, they fight for a minute, Tommy has dialogue, and then they pull out the thundersabre and the fight is over.

Back in art class, Billy apologizes to Violet, who says "It's okay! I'm sure there was a good reason." instead of "You really hurt my feelings, but thanks for apologizing." which would have been far more healthy. Anyway. He asks her out to the movies and she nearly falls over from the excitement.

The art teacher asks them to show their projects. Kim has made a painting of her friends. It's kind of cute. Bulk and Skull (who has drool-worthy arms and he should really show them off more often) have gotten Violet to do their project for them and she's turned Billy into the Gold Ranger. Foreshadowing maybe? ;) Billy is a little creeped out by this, rightly so, but not enough to cancel the date he's already uncomfortable about.

List time!
2.5 fish. I love it too much to give it more.

Billy speak- Evil!Billy speak today "By redefining the geographical servofrequency range, we'll have less high end interference."

Fic we want: Today, we give YOU fic! Today is the most AWESOME DAY EVER OMG HAPPY DAY and both and I have posted fic request posts. Head on over and ask for anything you'd like!

Episode 101 - The Wedding - Part 1

So, episode 101 is the end of an era. Billy is losing his glasses, Aisha's hair is in braids, and Rita has made her glorious return! Oh, and for some reason we're headed to Australia. But don't despair, , even though we're in Australia, there is no sign of Kat yet!

The reason that the Rangers are in Australia is ridiculous, btw. Apparently schools in Angel Grove don't just go on class trips - no, they are selected to be teen exchange speakers, so they head off to Australia. I assume the fish picked them, because really? Angel Grove is letting Bulk and Skull go on this trip? Aren't they worried about an international incident? (Skull wonders if they're going to take a train to Australia. I can't even comment on that. Also, why are there no teachers going along?)

Luckily, the Rangers are going on the trip anyway, because the trip miraculously coincides with Zedd's 100 year recharge of evil energies. He just needed a beauty nap or something. Which means that Rita, who has apparently recruited all the fish to help her pilot her dumpster, is returning to the moon with a new sinister plan - she's going to marry Zedd and rule the universe!

In Australia, we guess they ended up in Sydney, because the show realizes that the only landmark Americans would know is the Sydney Opera House. Kimberly is all excited about shopping, and the Rangers are all really damn pretty. Even Tommy! What the hell? Anyway, first it's time for lunch, and Bulk and Skull are all confused by the menu. First they order burgers, and then they change their mind and try to order lobster, but they specify extra fresh. This apparently means live lobster. ..... I can't even comment.

Back at the Command Center, Alpha is really bored because the Rangers are gone. Alpha, you were all alone for 10,000 years! What did you do for that? Crosswords? Sudoku? Write bad romance novels? It doesn't matter, because Zordon tells him to go for a walk.

On the moon, it is time for hugs! Finster is all sad that he is useless now, and he misses Rita. Luckily, Rita is there! He makes her grow, and makes her a potion to make her beautiful, and a potion to make Zedd fall in love with her. Oh, and he goes down to Earth and puts a virus in Alpha. For the record, evil!Alpha is the best thing in the history of this show.

In Australia, the teens are given two hours to go shopping, which is apparently not enough time (well, for Kimberly and Aisha.) I'm sure that important things happened here, but it is entirely possible that there was a really long discussion about their hair, so I have no idea. (Adam did... something, I don't know. I'm not a fan. But I am a fan of Rocky's floppy hair. And floppy hair in general. Whatever.) Alpha comes over the communicator, and tells them that they need to teleport to some abandoned theatre in Angel Grove. Zordon is yelling at Alpha, asking him what's happened, and Alpha lets loose with a bunch of amazing insults and a hilarious evil laugh. (Baldy! He calls Zordon BALDY. AMAZING.) The Rangers are all nervous, but they go anyway.

So while this is going on, Finster has completed the potion to make Rita beautiful, but... really, all it does is make her sparkle. Rita is clearly a sparklepire! She then dumps the love potion in Zedd's sleep machine thing, and waits for the Rangers to teleport into the theatre, which apparently contains some sort of magical vortex thing that will prevent them from using their powers. Except they're still morphed. Whatever.

The most important thing to know about this episode is that evil!Alpha decided to draw on Zordon's warp tube, so Zordon goes around with a blue mustache and giant blue hair. It was exactly as amazing as it sounds.

The Rangers are all in the abandoned theatre thing, and there are really freaky clownheads, and seriously, clowns are creepy.

Rita sends a bunch of monsters (Eye Guy, Snizard, Grumble Bee, peckster, soccadillo, rhinoblaster, Saliguana and Invenusable Fly Trap) down to attack the Rangers in the theatre. They realize that they can't summon their weapons, but they are still morphed. Oh noes!

To be continued...

Fish: Five! We're on a streak of high fish episodes. Oh, show!

Episode 100- Rangers Back In Time Part 2

It's the 100th episode! Happy 100th episode, everybody!!! It's only fitting that the 100th episode is also FULL of fish. Like, full to overflowing with fish.

Last time on Power Rangers, our rangers were adorable Tiny Children that had been captured in a photograph. Because the monster of the day captures people inside photographs. Remember that fact. It'll be important later. Goldar is sent down to get the picture but the wind blows it away before he can grab it. Blows it right into Bulk's eagerly waiting hands, that is. And, like the TOTALLY AWESOME Tiny Child that he is, Bulk starts to run off so he can give the photograph to a grown up. Because that's just what you do when you see six children disappear into a photograph. Or, at least, it's what you SHOULD do.

Zordon and Alpha are working on some kind of molecular descrambler to both get the rangers out of the photo AND turn them back into teenagers. Frankly, molecular descrambling just doesn't sound healthy to me, no matter how you slice it. Now, keep in mind that Zordon could have teleported the photograph directly to the Command Center. Barring that, he could have teleported Bulk and Skull with the photograph to the Command Center and then their memories would have been erased when the world was put back in it's rightful time. That would have been the smart thing to do. So did Zordon do that? Of course not! Instead, he sends Alpha to go rescue Bulk and Skull from Goldar and retrieve the photo. That's right, ALPHA is going to beat Goldar. Somehow.

Fish take over here and Alpha uses a freeze ray to stop not only Goldar, but the camera monster thing too. Bulk and Skull run off in fear and end up in the high school, where they bump into Principal Caplan who has Very Bad Hair (but not as bad as Tiny!Rocky). They tell Caplan the kids were caught in the photo, but he doesn't believe them. Caplan gives them detention and we're left wondering why a bunch of 8 year olds ran to a high school, why a high school teacher is giving obviously non-high school students detention, but most importantly, why in the world did nobody manage to come up with one tiny shred of a logical idea in regards to time travel for this episode? Seriously? Five minutes of an episode of Doctor Who could have given them something to make it even the slightest bit believable. But no. We get... this mess.

But I digress. Having dealt with the Fail!Principal, Skull is now sitting in detention drawing faces on the Tiny!Rangers in the photograph. Bulk takes it from him and draws something himself. I am blown away by how much Tiny!Skull looks like Pretending-To-Be-A-Teenager!Skull. It was about the only good casting of this whole episode. Alpha teleports into the room and both boys freak out thinking he's a martian. I would just like to take this moment to say I LOVE TINY BULK AND SKULL! Seriously, they were spot on AWESOMELY ADORABLE.

Alpha takes the picture and Bulk and Skull get put to sleep while Alpha gets the kids out of the picture. They have mustaches. It's great. We are only subjected to Rocky's horrible horrible hair for a moment because Alpha convinces them to let him SCRAMBLE THEIR MOLECULES so they'll be teenagers again. Science SO does NOT work like that.

They have to morph quickly and go fight Goldar and the camera monster. The camera monster grows and Tommy orders Rocky to go fight it ALONE. So he does. Because Rocky is awesome and capable like that, and he even does it without bragging about it, because he's not a smarmy bastard. Ahem. Anyway. Tommy takes on Goldar and a bunch of putties on his own. The others are off doing... um... something. We don't know what. Exchanging fashion tips? Discussing science projects? Doing each others makeup? Each others hair? Each other? We have our theories. They eventually show up and call their zords to go help Rocky.

Because, you see, the camera monster has taken a picture of Rocky's zord. And it didn't capture the zord. It just made a copy of the zord. Which... we think the fish switched something inside the monster or something because this monster? Soooo didn't work like that earlier. Anyway, they beat the monster and Tommy knocks out ALL the putties (while being a smarmy bastard about it). They threaten Goldar and he runs away, per usual.

Meanwhile, the planet's foundation is destabilizing... yes, I wrote that right. The planet's foundation is DESTABILIZING because of the EVOL Rock of Time. Oh show. Can you make any less sense? So the rangers go find the EVOL Rock of Time and have to fight some old monsters to get to it. They fight the Venus Fly Trap monster thing and the Mole Monster thing, and best of all, Billy tries, and FAILS, to take on the VULVA MONSTER! Adam has to help him. Guys, we totally missed everything else about this fight because we were all capsing about the Vulva Monster. I LOVE the Vulva Monster (take from that what you will). The only other thing I got about this fight is the Kim is the only person capable of handling the Vulva Monster.

The EVOL Rock of Time is destroyed, Earth is returned to it's normal time, and the rangers go back to school where Bulk and Skull are still in detention. Caplan asks them how their essays are coming along and they don't remember being given detention or essays. We're not sure why Caplan remembers. Except then he forgets what they were supposed to be doing and then makes them write stuff on the board because they practically live in detention anyway.

Oh show.

5 fish. Yeah...

No Billy speak. Nobody covered in food.

Episode 99 - Rangers Back in Time

I almost can't believe that this episode exists. I mean, neither of us remembered very much about it other than "Rangers get turned into kids" but I'm going to have to watch this episode a million more times because it is PURE GOLD.

You may not agree with me, but apparently a thing that I love is "people get turned into children." There needs to be SO MUCH FIC of baby!Rangers. And fic where Trini/Jason/Zack show up and have to babysit the baby!Rangers! And I just... yeah, I would read a million words of this. Or watch this episode a billion times, even though it makes no sense whatsoever and baby!Rocky has the worst hair I've ever seen.

Anyway, onto the actual episode. We open and the Rangers are in first grade. Well, not really. They're still in high school, but they are having show and tell. Their assignment is to bring in a photo of themselves as a kid, and talk about what it means to them. So Aisha has a picture of herself at a dance recital, Kimberly has a picture from her first gymnastics meet (she lost, I'm amazed) but it taught her to be a good sport. Tommy has a picture of him from a karate match (hard work), Billy took apart his mother's vacuum, Rocky learned responsibility from his dog, Buster, and Adam loves his dad. Bulk and Skull have a joint photo, of how they became BFF. (Or at Bulk put it, how Skull dropped a grape popsicle on Bulk and Bulk decided not to beat him up after. I love them so much.)

I officially have so much fanon about their childhoods it is now officially completely ridiculous. I could babble about that for most of the recap, but I don't think anyone but me wants to read a million words about Adam and Rocky playing in the sandbox together and then Aisha dumped a bucket of sand over both of their heads and told them that they were doing it wrong.

Zedd is all "AHA! I know! If I turn them into children they can't fight me anymore!" Oh, Zedd. This never ends well. So he creates the rock of time which will somehow turn them into children or maybe make time go backwards. It isn't really clear.

Back at school, Billy notices that the clock is running backwards, and he tells Miss Applebee, who is really freaked out about it. She doesn't know what to do. For some reason, calling a janitor is not one of the suggestions. And I have no idea why changing time would make the clocks run backwards. That isn't how this works. No, really. REALLY. I have opinions on time travel, I read a lot of scifi. (Maybe the clock is controlled by fish?)

Then the spell takes hold, and suddenly we are distracted by tiny!Rangers. They look like they're in... third grade? Just a guess? So about nine. Somewhere between eight and ten anyway. But we're suddenly distracted by the horrible hair. It isn't just Rocky's thing, which looks like a cross between a mullet and a hedgehog. Miss Applebee also has an awful wig, and Adam's hair isn't that great either. They just keep going as if nothing is wrong, and we're suddenly distracted by the giant swarm of fish that just swam across the TV.

Okay, the questions. If they did go back in time, why are Tommy, Adam, Rocky and Aisha still in Angel Grove? Why are they in the high school classroom? How have their memories changed so that they still know each other, but they don't know that they're Rangers? Why did the clocks run backwards? Why did their clothes shrink? Why are they doing more advanced work as children then they were doing in high school? Why does Rocky have a mullet? Why isn't Zordon affected? How is Zedd unaffected? Are they back in time, or did they just all get new memories? Is this an alternate reality? How is baby!Aisha so freaking awesome? Why did Queenriley and I accidentally decide that Zack is the Face of Boe? (The answer to that last one is actually that I made the best typo ever.)

So, Miss Applebee and her awful hair ask the students to do long division, and Kimberly gets called up to the board. She does long division, explaining step by step how to do 900 divided by 30. Aww, Kim. You kick ass at math. She goes back to her seat, and it turns out that baby!Bulk and Skull had tried to put a shaving cream balloon on her seat while she was up at the board. But their plan backfired, and they end up covered in shaving cream, and Kimberly only gets a speck on her jumper. Miss Applebee asks what happens, and Aisha stands up to tattle.

I take it back, CLEARLY Aisha, Rocky and Adam became BFF when she ratted them out for doing something. Also, she totally becomes a lawyer when she grows up. Nothing will convince me otherwise.

After class, the baby!Rangers and Bulk and Skull all go to the park. Adam and Billy try to fly a kite together. (Bulk and Skull then steal the kite and manage to get themselves tangled up in the string, at which point all the Rangers make fun of them. Apparently some things never change.) It is so adorable I can't even deal. But both Zedd and Zordon are watching. Zordon is concerned that bringing the Rangers to the Command Center will scare them, and Zedd is out to destroy them. So Zedd sends down some putties to attack the baby!Rangers. Kimberly clings to Billy, and Billy wonders if the putties are lost. And then Adam asks if they want to play, but the Putties attack instead.

I'm sorry, this fight is too adorable for words. Tommy manages to kick a dodgeball into the Z of one of the Putties. All of the Rangers join in, and even baby Bulk manages to destroy a putty! Aww, I am so proud of them! *pinches their cheeks* Zedd is not pleased that the baby!Rangers have managed to defeat the putties, so he turns a camera into a monster, and traps the baby!Rangers in a polaroid.

At the Command Center, Alpha works on a device to fix things, while Zordon worries. DUN DUN DUN.

To be continued. On Thursday.

Fish: FIVE. There are SO MANY QUESTIONS. But this episode was still AMAZING. I hope part 2 is as good.

Covered in: Bulk and Skull get covered in shaving cream, and some random lady at the park gets covered in garbage

Fic people should write us: ADVENTURES OF THE BABY RANGERS.