This episode started off SO WELL. And then it turned into... well, Turbo. *sob*
So, Justin is helping Tommy work on his car. Justin's shoelace gets caught on the gas peddle. The car's engine blows. Tommy still insists that this isn't Justin's fault. EXCEPT IT TOTALLY IS. Oh, and we find out that someone has been stealing stuff from the garage, so Justin builds a homing beacon that he'll put on something in the hope that it's stolen and will lead them to the thief.
Divatox has a new monster, the Chromite. Chromite appears to be marrying Elgar. Congratulations, may you two live happily ever after SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY. Divatox is going to send the Chromite down to leave a detonator in the construction site.
Adam and Tanya are off on a date walking together (after engaging in some practice to better get their Zords together) when Kat joins them. They promptly get attacked by the Chromite, who steals their morphing energy and creates shadow versions of them! We're actually really excited, because HEY, EVIL RANGERS. It's a thing that we like! The unmorphed fight against themselves is seriously great! Adam gets beaten up a lot! *approves so hard* Of course, then they get captured and thrown in a cave.
Then Justin and Tommy get attacked. Tommy has seen this before, and tries to stop Justin from morphing, but that doesn't work, and Justin gets his power stolen and he's kidnapped. There is a nice fight where fake!Kat and Adam beat up Tommy. I approve.
Now that he's all alone, Tommy goes back to the Power Chamber to get Dimitria's help. Unfortunately, since she's from the planet Inquirus, she can only inquire about things, so she answers all questions in the form of a question. At least she'd be good on jeopardy. BUT SERIOUSLY, she is so annoying. If they wanted to frame it instead as a "you are adults now and need to learn to figure things out yourself" I might not be as annoyed. But really, part of the reason they've always had a mentor/support staff is so that they don't need to do everything themselves, because sometimes they have to be out there fighting while someone else DOES THE IMPORTANT RESEARCH. Instead, Tommy is left to be the science guy (and this is where I start laughing hysterically and wondering if this is what leads to him faking his doctorate) and he discovers that the shadow rangers are made out of light, so if he just makes it dark, everything will be okay.
He fights the shadows and even though it's daylight out he manages to destroy them all. I call bullshit.
Justin has activated the homing beacon, so Tommy goes and rescues everyone else. Then they morph and fight the chromite and summon zords, and wow, this episode sucks.
Turns out that monkey!Bulk and Skull are the thieves. They're now living in the youth center, which is under new management. Ernie's foreign service unit has recalled him (he's going to build a bridge in the amazon or something) and now Lt. Stone is running things. (And hey, isn't anyone WORRIED about Bulk and Skull being missing? WORST FRIENDS EVER.)
So in the last few episodes, we've lost Billy, Jason, Rocky, Zordon, Alpha, human!Bulk and Skull, and Ernie. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO US, SHOW?
Fish: 5. EVERYTHING IS BAD AND WRONG.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Episode 208- Shift Into Turbo Part 3
This should have been a stand alone episode. Just saying.
Principal Caplan finds Justin in the Youth Center. He tells him his test scores were through the roof and he gets to skip two grades and start Angel Grove High in the fall.
At the Power Chamber, Zordon calls them in to tell them he's leaving. Lerigot is there and they all assume it's for the graduation (not everything is about YOU, guys), but really he's there to release Zordon and send him home. Alpha will accompany him. It is very sad. Apparently Tommy was told first. He already knows. WHY???? And why didn't he tell them if he knew in advance? No wonder he's late showing up to the goodbye party. Zordon and Alpha will travel through the wormhole they've been monitoring. THAT IS NOT HOW WORMHOLES WORK. Well, they thought it might be, but we know now it's not. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
Divatox summons a monster that can disrupt the energy of the wormhole. He does a bang up job of it, and Zordon has to leave immediately. They have to stop the monster so Zordon can get through the wormhole before it collapses. Otherwise he'll be gone forever. Wow, science really really doesn't work like that.
They summon the zords. They have trouble combining the zords. At least Tommy reads the manual! They work it out, form the Megazord, and that fight is over. Mkay... special?
Then they go to destroy the device. They fight the monster and send Justin over to do the job. Why him, I have no idea. The monster attacks him (duh!) and he goes back to fighting it instead of destroying that all important device. The monster grows, they form the Megazord again, and do a spinning finish. At least it's a short fight?
Back in the Power Chamber, everyone is sad. Alpha is gone. Zordon is gone. Lerigot says goodbye and then is gone. They mope for a minute and then the most obnoxious voice starts talking. Alpha 6 has arrived. Then Dimitria arrives. I do not like either. Apparently neither does Divatox. She is trying to explain why it's bad while Elgar attempts to destroy a flying fish. A literal fish in the episode! Our scale is so canon.
5 fish. This did not need to be a three parter. This was SO BORING.
Principal Caplan finds Justin in the Youth Center. He tells him his test scores were through the roof and he gets to skip two grades and start Angel Grove High in the fall.
At the Power Chamber, Zordon calls them in to tell them he's leaving. Lerigot is there and they all assume it's for the graduation (not everything is about YOU, guys), but really he's there to release Zordon and send him home. Alpha will accompany him. It is very sad. Apparently Tommy was told first. He already knows. WHY???? And why didn't he tell them if he knew in advance? No wonder he's late showing up to the goodbye party. Zordon and Alpha will travel through the wormhole they've been monitoring. THAT IS NOT HOW WORMHOLES WORK. Well, they thought it might be, but we know now it's not. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
Divatox summons a monster that can disrupt the energy of the wormhole. He does a bang up job of it, and Zordon has to leave immediately. They have to stop the monster so Zordon can get through the wormhole before it collapses. Otherwise he'll be gone forever. Wow, science really really doesn't work like that.
They summon the zords. They have trouble combining the zords. At least Tommy reads the manual! They work it out, form the Megazord, and that fight is over. Mkay... special?
Then they go to destroy the device. They fight the monster and send Justin over to do the job. Why him, I have no idea. The monster attacks him (duh!) and he goes back to fighting it instead of destroying that all important device. The monster grows, they form the Megazord again, and do a spinning finish. At least it's a short fight?
Back in the Power Chamber, everyone is sad. Alpha is gone. Zordon is gone. Lerigot says goodbye and then is gone. They mope for a minute and then the most obnoxious voice starts talking. Alpha 6 has arrived. Then Dimitria arrives. I do not like either. Apparently neither does Divatox. She is trying to explain why it's bad while Elgar attempts to destroy a flying fish. A literal fish in the episode! Our scale is so canon.
5 fish. This did not need to be a three parter. This was SO BORING.
Episode 207 - Shift Into Turbo - Part 2
Previously on WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS - Bulk and Skull got turned into monkeys, and the Rangers are the worst friends ever. Also, it's time for them to graduate high school in their gender segregated robes.
This is going to be one of those multi-parters where they stretch it out way longer than they need to, isn't it? *checks* YEP.
I'm somehow the one who ends up commenting on theme song & costume changes. So. Theme song - I like it, QR doesn't. It's not quite as great as the original, but it's still catchy. I do miss the go go power rangers, though. :( As for the costumes, even with all of my reservations about this season, it's actually one of my favorite Ranger suit designs. It's a lot better than Zeo, anyway.
Okay, the episode. So, Adam and his awful hair are all concerned about Justin, who has not shown up to graduation. Adam, you've known Justin for 30 seconds, and he has a communicator. Stop it. So instead Adam WALKS OUT OF GRADUATION and then calls Zordon, who tells him that Justin was supposed to call if there's any trouble. Adam still has a bad feeling, so he pulls Kat and Tanya out of the ceremony right before Kat is about to give her valedictorian speech. Principal Caplan is all "... what are you three doing?" but since he totally knows they're Rangers, he lets them go and stalls until Kat can go and give her speech. I totally feel bad for the person who was talking before Kat, since they're totally ignoring her.
The Rangers barely make it into the parking lot, before Divatox shows up herself with some Pirahnatrons and there's an unmorphed fight, and it's GLORIOUS. You know JYB was thinking "THANK GOD. LAST SEASON WAS SO DULL FOR ME" because there's a ton of him showing off, and I am totally NOT complaining, although seriously, his HAIR. Adam volunteers to fight the Pirahnatrons himself, while the girls go and help Justin, and then I was randomly reminded that back in 97 I read a ton of Divatox/Adam, which I personally don't get, but it makes me sad that there is more Divatox/Adam bad and wrong fic than there is Scorpina/Adam bad and wrong fic. *pout*
Zordon calls Tommy for backup so that he can help Adam, and then all five Rangers end up at the power plant. The fight scene ends with the Rangers winning, but the detonator is still ticking. Just as I'm discussing with QR about how stupid it is that they're all looking together and they should split up, Tommy says they should split up, and man, I hate it when he agrees with me. So Adam and Tanya go off together, and so do Tommy and Kat, and Justin is sent to the Power Chamber to retrieve the Turbo Navigator so that they can find stuff.
Up in the Power Chamber, Alpha is all distracted by wormhole opening and is totally confused when Justin shows up. Yes, the wormhole is very important for them, but HI, THERE IS A FIGHT GOING ON. Stop failing so hard, Alpha and Zordon. Justin goes back with the navigator and Zordon summons Lerigot.
The Turbo Navigator finds the detonator, and Tommy plugs it into some car, which lets it explode safely or something.
Back at graduation, Kat delivers her speech and then Caplan pronounces them all graduated. They didn't walk at all! At the Youth Center, we find out Tanya has a summer internship working at a radio station, and Adam is going to be a stuntman at the amusement park.
Lt. Stone has taken charge of monkey!Bulk and Skull, and this ends with him being covered in both banana split and monkey.
Oh, and Divatox knows about the wormhole, and she's determined to prevent Zordon from going back to Eltar. To be continued...
Fish: 4.5. Honestly, if we gave this a 5, we'd have to increase the fish scale to 10!
This is going to be one of those multi-parters where they stretch it out way longer than they need to, isn't it? *checks* YEP.
I'm somehow the one who ends up commenting on theme song & costume changes. So. Theme song - I like it, QR doesn't. It's not quite as great as the original, but it's still catchy. I do miss the go go power rangers, though. :( As for the costumes, even with all of my reservations about this season, it's actually one of my favorite Ranger suit designs. It's a lot better than Zeo, anyway.
Okay, the episode. So, Adam and his awful hair are all concerned about Justin, who has not shown up to graduation. Adam, you've known Justin for 30 seconds, and he has a communicator. Stop it. So instead Adam WALKS OUT OF GRADUATION and then calls Zordon, who tells him that Justin was supposed to call if there's any trouble. Adam still has a bad feeling, so he pulls Kat and Tanya out of the ceremony right before Kat is about to give her valedictorian speech. Principal Caplan is all "... what are you three doing?" but since he totally knows they're Rangers, he lets them go and stalls until Kat can go and give her speech. I totally feel bad for the person who was talking before Kat, since they're totally ignoring her.
The Rangers barely make it into the parking lot, before Divatox shows up herself with some Pirahnatrons and there's an unmorphed fight, and it's GLORIOUS. You know JYB was thinking "THANK GOD. LAST SEASON WAS SO DULL FOR ME" because there's a ton of him showing off, and I am totally NOT complaining, although seriously, his HAIR. Adam volunteers to fight the Pirahnatrons himself, while the girls go and help Justin, and then I was randomly reminded that back in 97 I read a ton of Divatox/Adam, which I personally don't get, but it makes me sad that there is more Divatox/Adam bad and wrong fic than there is Scorpina/Adam bad and wrong fic. *pout*
Zordon calls Tommy for backup so that he can help Adam, and then all five Rangers end up at the power plant. The fight scene ends with the Rangers winning, but the detonator is still ticking. Just as I'm discussing with QR about how stupid it is that they're all looking together and they should split up, Tommy says they should split up, and man, I hate it when he agrees with me. So Adam and Tanya go off together, and so do Tommy and Kat, and Justin is sent to the Power Chamber to retrieve the Turbo Navigator so that they can find stuff.
Up in the Power Chamber, Alpha is all distracted by wormhole opening and is totally confused when Justin shows up. Yes, the wormhole is very important for them, but HI, THERE IS A FIGHT GOING ON. Stop failing so hard, Alpha and Zordon. Justin goes back with the navigator and Zordon summons Lerigot.
The Turbo Navigator finds the detonator, and Tommy plugs it into some car, which lets it explode safely or something.
Back at graduation, Kat delivers her speech and then Caplan pronounces them all graduated. They didn't walk at all! At the Youth Center, we find out Tanya has a summer internship working at a radio station, and Adam is going to be a stuntman at the amusement park.
Lt. Stone has taken charge of monkey!Bulk and Skull, and this ends with him being covered in both banana split and monkey.
Oh, and Divatox knows about the wormhole, and she's determined to prevent Zordon from going back to Eltar. To be continued...
Fish: 4.5. Honestly, if we gave this a 5, we'd have to increase the fish scale to 10!
Episode 206- Shift Into Turbo Part 1
THESE GUYS ARE THE WORST FRIENDS EVER.
We get a new Divatox. She is wearing more clothing than the movie, and she's seeking only to mess with the Rangers, not to attract a man/lava monster/thing, so I like this one better! Elgar is not dead. The fish missed him too much and went into the lava pit to rescue him, apparently. Stupid fish. He is, apparently, still a little crispy. The Piranatron design is much better than the movie, at least.
The Rangers are graduating high school. This means it's the end of the year. Justin is taking a placement test to determine what grade he should be in (apparently he moved around a lot? I don't get it...). At the end of the school year. For some reason they decide they don't need to use his previous school records. Whatever. He finishes the test with an hour to spare and Mrs. Applebee compares his scantron with one of the correct answers, her eyes wide. THAT IS NOT HOW SCANTRONS WORK.
Anyway, here is where they are horrible horrible friends. THEY HAVE NOT TOLD ROCKY ALL OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE TURBO POWERS. IT HAS BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH SINCE THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO DIVATOX IS, YOU GUYS. Worst. Friends. Ever. They decide to wait for Justin to get there to tell Rocky more about the events from the movie. Y'know, so Rocky can see how very excited his replacement is and all the Super Fun Adventure Times is had without him. Great job, guys! Way to rub it in!
We then get a really long and boring montage of clips from the movie. We could have skipped the movie and recapped that instead. There's an hour and a half of my life gone.
Justin then asks if Rocky is sure he doesn't want his powers back. Rocky is still suffering from his back injury (duh, it's only been a month!) and is fine letting Justin keep them. Adam tells him he'll always be a ranger in spirit. Rocky's response? "That's nice." HAHAHAHHA ROCKY I LOVE YOU.
An aside here. TSB and I love the theory of power addiction. They have a hard time giving up their powers because they are addicted to the power itself, and after it's gone, they always want it back (see: Adam and Tommy, for the best examples). I have head!canon that Rocky is one of the very very few in the history of rangers who really doesn't get addicted. He loves being a ranger, but he's actually okay with handing his powers over, with just stopping. It doesn't bother him. Unlike Adam. ahem
So, back to the episode. Rocky is opening a dojo after graduation instead of going to college. I like this theory! Especially since we know Adam also has a dojo in Angel Grove (thank you, Once a Ranger!). I stand by my theory they run the dojo together. As partners. In ALL respects.
Tommy is skipping graduation. Because he's driving a racecar instead. This... is not how racecars work.
Alpha calls them to the Power Chamber, and they scamper off leaving Rocky on his own. Alpha has a surprise! He's baked them a graduation cake. It has little Power Ranger toppers on it. AWWWWWW. The seniors go off to do graduation stuff and Justin tries to sneak some of the icing from the cake. Alpha won't let him. He calls him Young Man. My heart squishes in delight at the adorableness.
Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are patrolling an empty parking lot. Lt. Stone comes up and sends them to the power plant. Divatox's ship lands in the lake behind him, but he won't listen to Bulk and Skull try to tell him that. He drives off and Bulk tells Skull they will forget what they saw and not tell anybody. Boys, YOU LIVE IN ANGEL GROVE. That is a VERY BAD idea. They go to the power plant where they meet up with Elgar who is trying to set a bomb. He uses some kind of ray gun to turn them into chimpanzees. BULK AND SKULL ARE CHIMPANZEES FOR AGES AND WE DON'T EVEN GET THE SPIN-OFF SHOW. I am so disappointed. *sadface* Elgar sets the detonator for 60 minutes. An entire hour? Really? That's more than enough time to disarm the darn thing. Oh villains. You suck at being... villain-like.
Bulk and Skull attempt to contact the police on their radios. They just make chimp noises, however, and the other police assume it's kids messing about and TURN OFF THE SCANNER. These police should be FIRED.
Justin decides to go check out what's going on with the chimp noises. He stops by the power plant on his way to graduation and finds Elgar there.
To Be Continued.
4.5 fish. Ugh. Let's just get this season over with.
We get a new Divatox. She is wearing more clothing than the movie, and she's seeking only to mess with the Rangers, not to attract a man/lava monster/thing, so I like this one better! Elgar is not dead. The fish missed him too much and went into the lava pit to rescue him, apparently. Stupid fish. He is, apparently, still a little crispy. The Piranatron design is much better than the movie, at least.
The Rangers are graduating high school. This means it's the end of the year. Justin is taking a placement test to determine what grade he should be in (apparently he moved around a lot? I don't get it...). At the end of the school year. For some reason they decide they don't need to use his previous school records. Whatever. He finishes the test with an hour to spare and Mrs. Applebee compares his scantron with one of the correct answers, her eyes wide. THAT IS NOT HOW SCANTRONS WORK.
Anyway, here is where they are horrible horrible friends. THEY HAVE NOT TOLD ROCKY ALL OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE TURBO POWERS. IT HAS BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH SINCE THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO DIVATOX IS, YOU GUYS. Worst. Friends. Ever. They decide to wait for Justin to get there to tell Rocky more about the events from the movie. Y'know, so Rocky can see how very excited his replacement is and all the Super Fun Adventure Times is had without him. Great job, guys! Way to rub it in!
We then get a really long and boring montage of clips from the movie. We could have skipped the movie and recapped that instead. There's an hour and a half of my life gone.
Justin then asks if Rocky is sure he doesn't want his powers back. Rocky is still suffering from his back injury (duh, it's only been a month!) and is fine letting Justin keep them. Adam tells him he'll always be a ranger in spirit. Rocky's response? "That's nice." HAHAHAHHA ROCKY I LOVE YOU.
An aside here. TSB and I love the theory of power addiction. They have a hard time giving up their powers because they are addicted to the power itself, and after it's gone, they always want it back (see: Adam and Tommy, for the best examples). I have head!canon that Rocky is one of the very very few in the history of rangers who really doesn't get addicted. He loves being a ranger, but he's actually okay with handing his powers over, with just stopping. It doesn't bother him. Unlike Adam. ahem
So, back to the episode. Rocky is opening a dojo after graduation instead of going to college. I like this theory! Especially since we know Adam also has a dojo in Angel Grove (thank you, Once a Ranger!). I stand by my theory they run the dojo together. As partners. In ALL respects.
Tommy is skipping graduation. Because he's driving a racecar instead. This... is not how racecars work.
Alpha calls them to the Power Chamber, and they scamper off leaving Rocky on his own. Alpha has a surprise! He's baked them a graduation cake. It has little Power Ranger toppers on it. AWWWWWW. The seniors go off to do graduation stuff and Justin tries to sneak some of the icing from the cake. Alpha won't let him. He calls him Young Man. My heart squishes in delight at the adorableness.
Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are patrolling an empty parking lot. Lt. Stone comes up and sends them to the power plant. Divatox's ship lands in the lake behind him, but he won't listen to Bulk and Skull try to tell him that. He drives off and Bulk tells Skull they will forget what they saw and not tell anybody. Boys, YOU LIVE IN ANGEL GROVE. That is a VERY BAD idea. They go to the power plant where they meet up with Elgar who is trying to set a bomb. He uses some kind of ray gun to turn them into chimpanzees. BULK AND SKULL ARE CHIMPANZEES FOR AGES AND WE DON'T EVEN GET THE SPIN-OFF SHOW. I am so disappointed. *sadface* Elgar sets the detonator for 60 minutes. An entire hour? Really? That's more than enough time to disarm the darn thing. Oh villains. You suck at being... villain-like.
Bulk and Skull attempt to contact the police on their radios. They just make chimp noises, however, and the other police assume it's kids messing about and TURN OFF THE SCANNER. These police should be FIRED.
Justin decides to go check out what's going on with the chimp noises. He stops by the power plant on his way to graduation and finds Elgar there.
To Be Continued.
4.5 fish. Ugh. Let's just get this season over with.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie - Part 2
PREVIOUSLY: Rocky is lifted up by fish and thrown over a railing so that he hurts his back and in a drug induced haze, passes his powers over to a 12 year old. There's also a mutant Ewok who has been captured by the CAMPIEST SPACE PIRATE EVER and Adam has HORRIBLE HAIR and EVERYTHING IS BAD AND WRONG.
So, Divatox has shot missiles at the ship which have sent these ugly pod things to them. They don't matter quite yet, because instead it's time for Justin to have backstory and angst. (And um, holy crap Justin grew up to be wicked hot.)
Kat goes to check on Justin, and we find out that his dad basically had a nervous breakdown after his mom died and dumped Justin in the shelter. Justin just wants his dad to be proud of him, and wonders what his dad and all the kids in the shelter would think if they knew he was a Ranger. Kat does not look impressed and Justin agrees that he knows the rules - it's for them to find out. EXCEPT NOT, JUSTIN. Also, I am SO SHOCKED that Justin's dad ran a dojo. REALLY. Seriously, Angel Grove runs on martial arts, but this is RIDICULOUS.
Kat tells Justin that he'll need to come downstairs and get some sleep soon, since it'll be a big day tomorrow, and he agrees, so she goes back downstairs to join the cuddle pile in progress until Justin interrupts. Of course, he soon discovers there's a really ugly foot soldier thing and freaks out a little, totally losing his voice. However, he does manage to kick it, and Adam hears and gets the others, and we get an unmorphed fight scene. Oh, unmorphed fights, I have missed you SO MUCH.
There's a downside to the unmorphed fight, I mean, besides Adam's hair. Tommy manages to scare the last one away. .... Really? REALLY? (And Adam gets his hand covered in slime. Whatever.) But Tanya's reaction is absolutely priceless. She seriously gets the best moments in the movie. Her delivery of "This sure ain't the Love Boat" is perfect. (And if it was, she would be off making out with Adam by the pool. So.)
Kim and Jason (who are the best part of the movie, except for Tanya) are all captured, and possibly the loss of the Gold Ranger powers are screwing with Jason's head because his plan to OPEN THE SUBMARINE WHILE THEY ARE UNDERWATER is the STUPIDEST PLAN IN ALL OF POWER RANGERS. Kim is clearly not impressed and she keeps pointing out the flaws in the plan, but Jason isn't listening to her at all so she helps him.
The Rangers retrieve their keys and go downstairs in the ship to combine their key power and pass through the giant wall of water, but Justin promptly drops his key. This is... somehow supposed to make him look like a good replacement for Rocky? Really? Anyway, he retrieves the key at the last minute, and the Rangers pass through the barrier.
In Divatox's sub, Kim and the amnesia boys manage to escape and surface, but Jason doesn't manage to get out of the sub. Divatox has a glorious freak out about them sinking. I really do love her. PLUS, then she calls Rita to ask her advice about how to handle the Rangers, and Rita's advice is very simple - RUN. (Now, why did Rita run, when last we saw she and Zedd had blown up the Machine Empire?)
The next thing is... I said on twitter that I can forgive awful, but I really can't forgive this. It's time for another descent into stereotype!land, except this time we're hitting every single awful island native stereotype. Like, really? Basically, there was a full scale rage blackout. Kim ends up getting captured (after the camera spends a really long time pointed at her ass) and then she gets tied up. I approve of the bondage, okay?
Adam heads out in his minivan (and I stand by my fanon that a) he ends up with a really nice car at some point and b) he and Tanya totally had sex in the back of that zord) and goes to inspect the island and see if he can find Lerigot. Divatox manages to notice that there are four humans floating in the water, so she shoots a missile at the ship and for about 30 seconds Adam thinks that everyone is dead, and if I wasn't busy being distracted by how awful his hair was, it would be a great moment. But everyone got out safe
Divatox recognizes that racist stereotypes as Maligore's priests, and Jason is handcuffed and Kim is tied up, and that is really the only important thing. Oh, and she forces Lerigot to open the temple.
The rangers morph, except Justin does it the wrong way. You are not filling me with hope for the next season, show! *sob* On the other hand, the look of disgust on Tommy's face is priceless. And I've got to say, Justin adjusts rather well for suddenly being a foot taller once he morphs. Oh, and apparently the Rangers can all run really fast. Because their powers are based on cars. Right. Justin manages to hear the chanting of Maligore, and leads the Rangers into the temple where Kim and Jason are suspended over a volcano. Kim and Jason are SO GLAD to see them, and there's an incredibly boring fight scene but then Kim and Jason are knocked into the volcano and they come out evil. (Divatox says something about them being perfect specimens and also pure. She's right about the first, but I'm not sure about the latter.)
... If this WHOLE MOVIE was about Kim and Jason being evil it would be a billion times better. Seriously, we're continuing the grand tradition of Rangers being better when evil. Tommy tries to pull a Kat and convince Kim that she's not evil, but instead he gets punched. Kim isn't listening to Kat either, with a "Sweetie? Pink is out" and holy crap do I ship them. Meanwhile, Jason is chocking Tommy up against the edge of the volcano, and I'm getting flashbacks to the Kirk/Spock fight in Star Trek 2009, but sadly I have no clips to share.
Adam has freed Lerigot, and he breaks the spell on Kim, and Jason is pulled off of Tommy, and blah blah blah, this fight was only interesting while Kim was beating everyone up. On the bright side, Elgar gets knocked into the volcano. This releases Maligore, who is an ugly lava monster, which Divatox did not seem to be aware of.
This is how boring the fight is: Adam gets knocked down and I don't even care. Because this fight is BORING. With the spell on Jason and Kim broken courtesy of Lerigot, the Rangers summon their weapons and then the volcano explodes and they summon Zords and look, I can forgive bad but I can't forgive boring. Zord fight, sword destroys monster, etc. On the bright side, Kim and Jason (and Bulk and Skull) get a ride in the Zord. That's pretty great.
Divatox swears revenge, setting up the season.
Back in Angel Grove, Tommy, Adam and Jason are competing in the martial arts championship for $25,000 which will supposedly keep the shelter open indefinitely. Oh, and Rocky is out of the hospital.
.... Right. They win, and Tommy hugs Kat, and honestly, I am more interested in the conversation that Kim, Kat and Tommy sit down and have later. Someone should write that fic immediately. I want it to exist, and the only combination I ship out of those three is Kim/Kat!
Fish: FIVE. ALL OF THE FISH.
So, Divatox has shot missiles at the ship which have sent these ugly pod things to them. They don't matter quite yet, because instead it's time for Justin to have backstory and angst. (And um, holy crap Justin grew up to be wicked hot.)
Kat goes to check on Justin, and we find out that his dad basically had a nervous breakdown after his mom died and dumped Justin in the shelter. Justin just wants his dad to be proud of him, and wonders what his dad and all the kids in the shelter would think if they knew he was a Ranger. Kat does not look impressed and Justin agrees that he knows the rules - it's for them to find out. EXCEPT NOT, JUSTIN. Also, I am SO SHOCKED that Justin's dad ran a dojo. REALLY. Seriously, Angel Grove runs on martial arts, but this is RIDICULOUS.
Kat tells Justin that he'll need to come downstairs and get some sleep soon, since it'll be a big day tomorrow, and he agrees, so she goes back downstairs to join the cuddle pile in progress until Justin interrupts. Of course, he soon discovers there's a really ugly foot soldier thing and freaks out a little, totally losing his voice. However, he does manage to kick it, and Adam hears and gets the others, and we get an unmorphed fight scene. Oh, unmorphed fights, I have missed you SO MUCH.
There's a downside to the unmorphed fight, I mean, besides Adam's hair. Tommy manages to scare the last one away. .... Really? REALLY? (And Adam gets his hand covered in slime. Whatever.) But Tanya's reaction is absolutely priceless. She seriously gets the best moments in the movie. Her delivery of "This sure ain't the Love Boat" is perfect. (And if it was, she would be off making out with Adam by the pool. So.)
Kim and Jason (who are the best part of the movie, except for Tanya) are all captured, and possibly the loss of the Gold Ranger powers are screwing with Jason's head because his plan to OPEN THE SUBMARINE WHILE THEY ARE UNDERWATER is the STUPIDEST PLAN IN ALL OF POWER RANGERS. Kim is clearly not impressed and she keeps pointing out the flaws in the plan, but Jason isn't listening to her at all so she helps him.
The Rangers retrieve their keys and go downstairs in the ship to combine their key power and pass through the giant wall of water, but Justin promptly drops his key. This is... somehow supposed to make him look like a good replacement for Rocky? Really? Anyway, he retrieves the key at the last minute, and the Rangers pass through the barrier.
In Divatox's sub, Kim and the amnesia boys manage to escape and surface, but Jason doesn't manage to get out of the sub. Divatox has a glorious freak out about them sinking. I really do love her. PLUS, then she calls Rita to ask her advice about how to handle the Rangers, and Rita's advice is very simple - RUN. (Now, why did Rita run, when last we saw she and Zedd had blown up the Machine Empire?)
The next thing is... I said on twitter that I can forgive awful, but I really can't forgive this. It's time for another descent into stereotype!land, except this time we're hitting every single awful island native stereotype. Like, really? Basically, there was a full scale rage blackout. Kim ends up getting captured (after the camera spends a really long time pointed at her ass) and then she gets tied up. I approve of the bondage, okay?
Adam heads out in his minivan (and I stand by my fanon that a) he ends up with a really nice car at some point and b) he and Tanya totally had sex in the back of that zord) and goes to inspect the island and see if he can find Lerigot. Divatox manages to notice that there are four humans floating in the water, so she shoots a missile at the ship and for about 30 seconds Adam thinks that everyone is dead, and if I wasn't busy being distracted by how awful his hair was, it would be a great moment. But everyone got out safe
Divatox recognizes that racist stereotypes as Maligore's priests, and Jason is handcuffed and Kim is tied up, and that is really the only important thing. Oh, and she forces Lerigot to open the temple.
The rangers morph, except Justin does it the wrong way. You are not filling me with hope for the next season, show! *sob* On the other hand, the look of disgust on Tommy's face is priceless. And I've got to say, Justin adjusts rather well for suddenly being a foot taller once he morphs. Oh, and apparently the Rangers can all run really fast. Because their powers are based on cars. Right. Justin manages to hear the chanting of Maligore, and leads the Rangers into the temple where Kim and Jason are suspended over a volcano. Kim and Jason are SO GLAD to see them, and there's an incredibly boring fight scene but then Kim and Jason are knocked into the volcano and they come out evil. (Divatox says something about them being perfect specimens and also pure. She's right about the first, but I'm not sure about the latter.)
... If this WHOLE MOVIE was about Kim and Jason being evil it would be a billion times better. Seriously, we're continuing the grand tradition of Rangers being better when evil. Tommy tries to pull a Kat and convince Kim that she's not evil, but instead he gets punched. Kim isn't listening to Kat either, with a "Sweetie? Pink is out" and holy crap do I ship them. Meanwhile, Jason is chocking Tommy up against the edge of the volcano, and I'm getting flashbacks to the Kirk/Spock fight in Star Trek 2009, but sadly I have no clips to share.
Adam has freed Lerigot, and he breaks the spell on Kim, and Jason is pulled off of Tommy, and blah blah blah, this fight was only interesting while Kim was beating everyone up. On the bright side, Elgar gets knocked into the volcano. This releases Maligore, who is an ugly lava monster, which Divatox did not seem to be aware of.
This is how boring the fight is: Adam gets knocked down and I don't even care. Because this fight is BORING. With the spell on Jason and Kim broken courtesy of Lerigot, the Rangers summon their weapons and then the volcano explodes and they summon Zords and look, I can forgive bad but I can't forgive boring. Zord fight, sword destroys monster, etc. On the bright side, Kim and Jason (and Bulk and Skull) get a ride in the Zord. That's pretty great.
Divatox swears revenge, setting up the season.
Back in Angel Grove, Tommy, Adam and Jason are competing in the martial arts championship for $25,000 which will supposedly keep the shelter open indefinitely. Oh, and Rocky is out of the hospital.
.... Right. They win, and Tommy hugs Kat, and honestly, I am more interested in the conversation that Kim, Kat and Tommy sit down and have later. Someone should write that fic immediately. I want it to exist, and the only combination I ship out of those three is Kim/Kat!
Fish: FIVE. ALL OF THE FISH.
Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie Part 1
Oh god this movie, guys. THIS MOVIE, GUYS. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN ALL THE LAND.
So we start off with a really bad scrolling text Star Wars ripoff. Only this movie is the tiniest fraction of coolness that Star Wars is. And I'm even talking Episode 1 here, people, that's how much I hate this movie.
Lerigot is a wizard. He's actually the mutated child of an Ewok and a Monchichi. He is being chased by weird fish robot looking things. He manages to get himself to Earth, where he is stranded somewhere in Stereotype Land Africa. I keep hoping he'll run into Aisha. That would totally make this movie worthwhile. Alas, he meets a family of chimpanzee instead.
In Angel Grove, Rocky is trying Very Hard in a boxing ring while doing martial arts. He fails at fighting Tommy. He fails at fighting Adam. He fails at kicking a gloved fist, falls out of the ring, and messes up his back. THIS IS NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. And that's not just my love for Rocky talking, that's "this actually cannot happen" talking.
Meanwhile, Kat and Tanya are on a bus full of children from the local orphanage. They are singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. NOBODY wants to sing that on a bus. No wonder Justin looks all sad and mopey. I'd be sad too if I were trapped on a bus full of people singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Justin sees Rocky being hauled away in an ambulance. Justin now REALLY has a sad.
Then we meet Divatox. She is strong and powerful and awesome. Except I'd respect her a lot more if she wore more clothing. I mean, why does an amazing woman need to wear what amounts to underwear and a bit of string... while attempting to attract a man/monster/lava thing? Really? *sigh* I do not like any of her henchmen. This... is not going to be the best season ever.
Justin goes to visit Rocky in the hospital. He is flat in bed with a neck brace on and an IV. He is clearly high on morphine. He doesn't notice Justin and the rangers come in right behind him, so Justin hides under the bed. Instead of asking how Rocky is doing or trying to make him feel better, they have a conversation about Justin. Because they are BAD FRIENDS. Zordon contacts them and they teleport away. Justin witnesses it all.
Kat and Tommy are sent to Africa to find Lerigot using a Star Trek The Original Series tricorder (Billy totally created Starfleet). Why, I have no idea. Wouldn't Tanya be the better choice, since on Planet Angel Grove, Africa is a small continent where everybody knows everybody else and there is only one small grouping of animals, mainly lions, which is where Aisha is? WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN AISHA. Kat gets hurt, of course, after spending lots of time screaming for Tommy and flailing in the water... she was the Olympic diver, y'know, not Tommy! Oh show. Anyway, they get Lerigot and get him back to the Power Chamber. Moving on.
Somehow Bulk and Skull are back on the Police Force. No talk of France or leaving their fake!Daddy or anything. They managed to get captured by Divatox and her crew, but not before accidentally covering Lt. Stone in mustard. Their minds have been wiped. Bulk now thinks he's German and Skull thinks he's Spanish. It's... odd. Jason and Kim are scuba diving near Divatox's ship and they get captured too. We like to believe Kim went to comfort Jason after his power loss. Divatox uses Lerigot's wife, whom she has kidnapped, to send him a message. She shows Zordon that she has Lerigot's wife and child, plus Kim and Jason. Lerigot prepares to give himself up.
Zordon shows them the new Turbo Zords and gives them Turbo powers. Adam gets a minivan. I love minivans, and I'm not being sarcastic. I really actually love minivans. *is weird* So anyway, we get no mention of why the Zeo powers cannot be used. No mention of what happened to the Zeo powers. It's as if they just... disappeared. Adam asks about Rocky's Zord and is told it'll just stay there for awhile. They take off for a lost pirate ship. Once they get there, the blue Turbo Zord shows up. Out steps the new blue ranger, who is presented as THE NEW BLUE RANGER, and not the Temporary Replacement Blue Ranger. It's Justin. IT'S JUSTIN YOU GUYS. Tanya makes the exact face I made the first few times I watched this. It is the BEST FACE EVER. She is clearly confused and horrified at this new turn of events. WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? I BLAME THE IMMENSE AMOUNT OF MORPHINE ROCKY WAS CLEARLY ON.
They see the pirate ship off in the distance. They manage to get to the pirate ship with their zords. They manage to get ON the pirate ship where Justin finds a box of treasure. They use their Turbo morphers to make the ship set sail. Meanwhile, Divatox has found them and launches living torpedoes at their ship. GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE.
To be continued in Part 2...
5 fish. Oh god, why isn't it over yet???? I hate this movie. I HATE THIS MOVIE.
So we start off with a really bad scrolling text Star Wars ripoff. Only this movie is the tiniest fraction of coolness that Star Wars is. And I'm even talking Episode 1 here, people, that's how much I hate this movie.
Lerigot is a wizard. He's actually the mutated child of an Ewok and a Monchichi. He is being chased by weird fish robot looking things. He manages to get himself to Earth, where he is stranded somewhere in Stereotype Land Africa. I keep hoping he'll run into Aisha. That would totally make this movie worthwhile. Alas, he meets a family of chimpanzee instead.
In Angel Grove, Rocky is trying Very Hard in a boxing ring while doing martial arts. He fails at fighting Tommy. He fails at fighting Adam. He fails at kicking a gloved fist, falls out of the ring, and messes up his back. THIS IS NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. And that's not just my love for Rocky talking, that's "this actually cannot happen" talking.
Meanwhile, Kat and Tanya are on a bus full of children from the local orphanage. They are singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. NOBODY wants to sing that on a bus. No wonder Justin looks all sad and mopey. I'd be sad too if I were trapped on a bus full of people singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Justin sees Rocky being hauled away in an ambulance. Justin now REALLY has a sad.
Then we meet Divatox. She is strong and powerful and awesome. Except I'd respect her a lot more if she wore more clothing. I mean, why does an amazing woman need to wear what amounts to underwear and a bit of string... while attempting to attract a man/monster/lava thing? Really? *sigh* I do not like any of her henchmen. This... is not going to be the best season ever.
Justin goes to visit Rocky in the hospital. He is flat in bed with a neck brace on and an IV. He is clearly high on morphine. He doesn't notice Justin and the rangers come in right behind him, so Justin hides under the bed. Instead of asking how Rocky is doing or trying to make him feel better, they have a conversation about Justin. Because they are BAD FRIENDS. Zordon contacts them and they teleport away. Justin witnesses it all.
Kat and Tommy are sent to Africa to find Lerigot using a Star Trek The Original Series tricorder (Billy totally created Starfleet). Why, I have no idea. Wouldn't Tanya be the better choice, since on Planet Angel Grove, Africa is a small continent where everybody knows everybody else and there is only one small grouping of animals, mainly lions, which is where Aisha is? WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN AISHA. Kat gets hurt, of course, after spending lots of time screaming for Tommy and flailing in the water... she was the Olympic diver, y'know, not Tommy! Oh show. Anyway, they get Lerigot and get him back to the Power Chamber. Moving on.
Somehow Bulk and Skull are back on the Police Force. No talk of France or leaving their fake!Daddy or anything. They managed to get captured by Divatox and her crew, but not before accidentally covering Lt. Stone in mustard. Their minds have been wiped. Bulk now thinks he's German and Skull thinks he's Spanish. It's... odd. Jason and Kim are scuba diving near Divatox's ship and they get captured too. We like to believe Kim went to comfort Jason after his power loss. Divatox uses Lerigot's wife, whom she has kidnapped, to send him a message. She shows Zordon that she has Lerigot's wife and child, plus Kim and Jason. Lerigot prepares to give himself up.
Zordon shows them the new Turbo Zords and gives them Turbo powers. Adam gets a minivan. I love minivans, and I'm not being sarcastic. I really actually love minivans. *is weird* So anyway, we get no mention of why the Zeo powers cannot be used. No mention of what happened to the Zeo powers. It's as if they just... disappeared. Adam asks about Rocky's Zord and is told it'll just stay there for awhile. They take off for a lost pirate ship. Once they get there, the blue Turbo Zord shows up. Out steps the new blue ranger, who is presented as THE NEW BLUE RANGER, and not the Temporary Replacement Blue Ranger. It's Justin. IT'S JUSTIN YOU GUYS. Tanya makes the exact face I made the first few times I watched this. It is the BEST FACE EVER. She is clearly confused and horrified at this new turn of events. WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? I BLAME THE IMMENSE AMOUNT OF MORPHINE ROCKY WAS CLEARLY ON.
They see the pirate ship off in the distance. They manage to get to the pirate ship with their zords. They manage to get ON the pirate ship where Justin finds a box of treasure. They use their Turbo morphers to make the ship set sail. Meanwhile, Divatox has found them and launches living torpedoes at their ship. GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE.
To be continued in Part 2...
5 fish. Oh god, why isn't it over yet???? I hate this movie. I HATE THIS MOVIE.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Season 4 Roundup
Not technically Power Rangers related, but very important - Help Japan is a fandom auction raising money to help Japan recover from the earthquake/tsunami.
*
SO. ZEO.
This is actually one of my favorite seasons, so let's talk about it!
Highlights!
ADAM/TANYA FOR THE WIN.
Mystery party!
Tanya being so awesome and dumping Shawn when he treats her badly. Because she deserves better.
Billy is totally smarter than Alpha.
Another Song and Dance
The Bulk and Skull character development, including Bulk's amazing poetry. And their love for their fake!Daddy
Jason came back!
Instrument of Destruction! Skull is seriously the best actor on the show, and his friendship with Bulk is incredible.
King for a Day is pretty great. Especially Kat's role in it.
Emotional consequences to things!
Rocky/Jason
It Came from Angel Grove is pretty much the best. I love Adam's ridiculous nightmares.
David Truehart is wicked hot.
Gasket and Archerina were such fun villains, and they needed more screentime.
Lowlights
... FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH. You know, what they did to Billy.
That's a lot of Tommy episodes.
Seriously, why wasn't Billy the Gold Ranger?
Poor Kat got stuck with the worst boyfriend ever
So Angel Grove has a biker gang?
Slave!Rito and Goldar
Poor Kat got some REALLY shitty episodes. Like the dog one.
Overall, this season is GREAT. And Sunday night, we shift into Turbo!
*
SO. ZEO.
This is actually one of my favorite seasons, so let's talk about it!
Highlights!
ADAM/TANYA FOR THE WIN.
Mystery party!
Tanya being so awesome and dumping Shawn when he treats her badly. Because she deserves better.
Billy is totally smarter than Alpha.
Another Song and Dance
The Bulk and Skull character development, including Bulk's amazing poetry. And their love for their fake!Daddy
Jason came back!
Instrument of Destruction! Skull is seriously the best actor on the show, and his friendship with Bulk is incredible.
King for a Day is pretty great. Especially Kat's role in it.
Emotional consequences to things!
Rocky/Jason
It Came from Angel Grove is pretty much the best. I love Adam's ridiculous nightmares.
David Truehart is wicked hot.
Gasket and Archerina were such fun villains, and they needed more screentime.
Lowlights
... FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH. You know, what they did to Billy.
That's a lot of Tommy episodes.
Seriously, why wasn't Billy the Gold Ranger?
Poor Kat got stuck with the worst boyfriend ever
So Angel Grove has a biker gang?
Slave!Rito and Goldar
Poor Kat got some REALLY shitty episodes. Like the dog one.
Overall, this season is GREAT. And Sunday night, we shift into Turbo!
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