Today on Power Rangers, things are ominous and... fishy.
We start off in the dark of night. Night? Dark? IT'S A SPACESHIP. Maya senses... something. It's convenient psychic powers again! She gets Kendrix and then they meander down to the boys room, where they sleep on delightful bunks and I adore it. Damon is grumpy because she woke him up. It's adorable. Suddenly there is a bright flash of light! Could it be the fish? Of course it is. Oh power rangers, so predictable. See? Conveniently slightly psychic, as the script calls.
EVERYBODY sees the Fish of Orion, of course, including the bad guys. Trakeena is delightfully bitchy when other people take credit for something she JUST SAID. Scorpius goes after the Fish. The Rangers go after the Fish. Is there ANYBODY not going after the Fish at this point? Frankly, this season is so full of them, these guys could probably just cast out a little net and get plenty...
The Rangers hop on the teeny little race-car spaceships that make no sense in a world with actual physics (meanwhile, Andros is somewhere yelling STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP OMG YOU GUYS! and I don't really blame him for that) and then there is fighting with sting wingers... who apparently can breathe in space. It is terribly boring and the Fish head for Terra Venture, so of course everybody else does too. Even though the Rangers JUST came from there. They could have just hung out, slept a little longer, and been fine. But whatever. I'm sure Damon will point this out later, even if it's behind the scenes.
MD enters the scene, with intense pain in his heart and a dramatically loud heartbeat. His cape swishes dramatically in the wind. He is so wonderful.
Bad guys catch the Fish in a clay jar. There are more bad guys fighting over this. Why so many bad guys, show? This gets confusing. Trakeena has the best plan. Shapeshifters ftw!
MD has a dramatic fight. It's very dramatic. He kind of fails at it, though, but at least he loses very dramatically! The Fish get away and there is more bad guy talk, where they plan to test the lights. It's not going to go well for the poor sod who believed Scorpius wants him to test the lights. These bad guys, numerous as they are, really aren't very bright. MD is terribly upset and just oozes the drama with his lack of facial expression.
The Rangers lose a fight, far less dramatically than MD does, and they force demorph. Which is fine because this allows for unmorphed fighting with sting wingers! I heartily approve. They are determined not to let the bad guy destroy all the things, though, and he's making a valiant effort to do so. Trakeena uses this time to point out to her dad that he doesn't have the Fish yet, even though he was supposed to, and manages to get a general ousted from the ship for treason. Her plan worked brilliantly. She is clearly the smartest.
Then the Rangers morph again (sad) and fight and it's terribly boring. It's supposed to be dramatic? Except Magna Defender isn't there so it can't possibly be awesomely dramatic. They're about to lose horribly when Trakeena sends her shapeshifting monster down to stop the bad guy. She starts to take the Fish back, and then MD shows up so the scene can be appropriately dramatic. Thank goodness! He manages to destroy everybody with super dramatic monologues and dramatically swishy cape. Oh MD. This show would just be too cheesy without your awesomeness.
He goes for the Fish, but Leo stops him, insisting he has too much anger in his heart. The Fish are apparently sentient and decide the Rangers are more worthy than MD, so they choose the Rangers instead, shining over them and just handing over the power. Why the Fish didn't just go "You guys totes deserve my shiny awesome powers, here, have them" from the start, I don't know. Apparently the Fish of Orion only gave the Rangers shinier plastic swords, gold arm bands, and big claws. Whatever works.
Magna Defender dramatically pouts behind a tree and then flees to go be alone with his pain. This is the only part of this episode that makes ANY sense whatsoever.
5 fish. Because... yeah. I still can't tell you what the heck this episode was about.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Episode 305 - Orion Rising
So, Leo is wrapping presents, and Kendrix is making a cake, because it's Damon's birthday! Awww! They are throwing him a surprise party.
Leo tries to eat the cake, but Kendrix smacks him. They leave, only for Maya to return. She's really hungry, but she soon finds the delicious cake. Which she eats. Because CAKE. (Also, I really love that she's not having body issues at all with this - she's hungry, she eats cake. Compare that to some of the other episodes.)
Kendrix comes back and sees that Maya has eaten allllllllll the cake. Maya is so confused when Kendrix asks her about eating it "why do I need permission to eat?" Kendrix is all "ASK FIRST." There's a giant culture clash and to be fair, neither of them is really in the wrong.
(And Leo and Kai get covered in cake. I guess we're bringing that back.)
So, the monster is placing a forcefield over an already domed city? Sure? But Kendrix and Maya were out grocery shopping (and bickering over the fridge) when they come across it. I also love that they instantly forget their problems when they realize this is a monster thing. (That was a really lackluster morph, you guys. You have no enthusiasm there.)
The two girls are all super awesome and attack and basically, I love them. I am all in favor of this. Of course, then the boys show up on new toys, which apparently the girls don't get? Pfft. Whatever. Of course, the guys can't get into the forcefield, so they have to go and dig under it.
Apparently the monster is draining all the air? Kendrix is all "to save the colony we need to go fix this" but Maya wants to attack the monster first. Kendrix forces them to retreat, but Maya is NOT PLEASED and she runs off to go fight the monster.
I would buy this no air thing a lot more, if a) we didn't see trees moving and b) Kendrix and Maya seem fine.
The boys find that they can't get through because the forcefield extends underground. While that's going on, Kendrix runs into tiny lookalike children who tell her it will be okay because they have each other. And Maya discovers the concept of birthday cakes. Just as she's attacked, Kendrix comes to her rescue. The two girls make up (and later, make out) and they are super adorable. Maya promises when this is over she will help Kendrix make a new cake.
Magna Defender and his swirling cape of awesome show up to break open the force field even though Leo tells him this is a bad idea and it will rip them apart? I... sure. Look, I'm going to vaguely question it, but I don't have anything other than a "that sounds stupid." Of course, it means that they can also summon Zords and fight the Magna Defender, which I am in favor of.
Maya and Kendrix fight the monster on their own. Suddenly, the Magna Defender falls apart and starts clutching his chest and running away. Everyone is confused. Kendrix and Maya figure out that together they are awesome and they team up (again) to destroy the forcefield which instantly returns the air to the city.
The other Rangers show up just in time for them to shoot at the monster. Suddenly, the Fish of Orion show up. The Magna Defender tries to claim them, and also EVERYONE chases after the lights. But they've left Terra Venture (and the fact that they were there at ALL makes no sense.) Then the monster just... leaves. Sure.
At the end, Damon gets his surprise party. Damon is sleepy and exhausted, but he loves his friends, and is super happy that they remembered his birthday. Everyone loves everyone else, and then there's an orgy.
I love that a) this episode was not about either Damon being sad that everyone forgot his birthday or people criticizing Maya for what she eats and b) that nobody was really in the wrong for the fight.
Fish: 4. NO NO. SO YOU PUT A FORCEFIELD AROUND A CITY THAT'S ALREADY IN A DOME? WHAT? Also, the air? Really? THERE ARE PLANTS THERE, HOW WERE THEY DRAINING EVERYTHING? None of this makes any sense.
Covered in food: Cake!
Fic we want: Kendrix/Maya. SO MUCH.
Leo tries to eat the cake, but Kendrix smacks him. They leave, only for Maya to return. She's really hungry, but she soon finds the delicious cake. Which she eats. Because CAKE. (Also, I really love that she's not having body issues at all with this - she's hungry, she eats cake. Compare that to some of the other episodes.)
Kendrix comes back and sees that Maya has eaten allllllllll the cake. Maya is so confused when Kendrix asks her about eating it "why do I need permission to eat?" Kendrix is all "ASK FIRST." There's a giant culture clash and to be fair, neither of them is really in the wrong.
(And Leo and Kai get covered in cake. I guess we're bringing that back.)
So, the monster is placing a forcefield over an already domed city? Sure? But Kendrix and Maya were out grocery shopping (and bickering over the fridge) when they come across it. I also love that they instantly forget their problems when they realize this is a monster thing. (That was a really lackluster morph, you guys. You have no enthusiasm there.)
The two girls are all super awesome and attack and basically, I love them. I am all in favor of this. Of course, then the boys show up on new toys, which apparently the girls don't get? Pfft. Whatever. Of course, the guys can't get into the forcefield, so they have to go and dig under it.
Apparently the monster is draining all the air? Kendrix is all "to save the colony we need to go fix this" but Maya wants to attack the monster first. Kendrix forces them to retreat, but Maya is NOT PLEASED and she runs off to go fight the monster.
I would buy this no air thing a lot more, if a) we didn't see trees moving and b) Kendrix and Maya seem fine.
The boys find that they can't get through because the forcefield extends underground. While that's going on, Kendrix runs into tiny lookalike children who tell her it will be okay because they have each other. And Maya discovers the concept of birthday cakes. Just as she's attacked, Kendrix comes to her rescue. The two girls make up (and later, make out) and they are super adorable. Maya promises when this is over she will help Kendrix make a new cake.
Magna Defender and his swirling cape of awesome show up to break open the force field even though Leo tells him this is a bad idea and it will rip them apart? I... sure. Look, I'm going to vaguely question it, but I don't have anything other than a "that sounds stupid." Of course, it means that they can also summon Zords and fight the Magna Defender, which I am in favor of.
Maya and Kendrix fight the monster on their own. Suddenly, the Magna Defender falls apart and starts clutching his chest and running away. Everyone is confused. Kendrix and Maya figure out that together they are awesome and they team up (again) to destroy the forcefield which instantly returns the air to the city.
The other Rangers show up just in time for them to shoot at the monster. Suddenly, the Fish of Orion show up. The Magna Defender tries to claim them, and also EVERYONE chases after the lights. But they've left Terra Venture (and the fact that they were there at ALL makes no sense.) Then the monster just... leaves. Sure.
At the end, Damon gets his surprise party. Damon is sleepy and exhausted, but he loves his friends, and is super happy that they remembered his birthday. Everyone loves everyone else, and then there's an orgy.
I love that a) this episode was not about either Damon being sad that everyone forgot his birthday or people criticizing Maya for what she eats and b) that nobody was really in the wrong for the fight.
Fish: 4. NO NO. SO YOU PUT A FORCEFIELD AROUND A CITY THAT'S ALREADY IN A DOME? WHAT? Also, the air? Really? THERE ARE PLANTS THERE, HOW WERE THEY DRAINING EVERYTHING? None of this makes any sense.
Covered in food: Cake!
Fic we want: Kendrix/Maya. SO MUCH.
Episode 304- Silent Sleep
Today on Power Rangers, there are horses! And then more dramatic cape swishing. I approve!
So Maya likes to tend to the horses. I like her. I like horses. She needs help and Damon volunteers Leo, but then Leo backs out so Damon runs away too. Maya is clearly brilliant because she accuses them of being afraid and then they help. Or Leo helps. He's a "cowboy". Although I take offense to that. Not everybody who rides a horse is a cowboy. There are entire disciplines that are older than cowboys and western. Ahem.
Anyway! So Leo is Very Bad at this and falls off. Keep your heels down, son, and grip with your calves, you'll stay on. Unfortunately, in the fall, Mike's dogtags fall off and Leo has a minor heart attack. Damon would have teased him, except he's totally scared of Maya. I love that everybody is afraid of Maya. Because she is awesome.
Later that night, the Chillyfish (who looks more like a mushroom with fringe) shows up on top of a building. He puts everybody to sleep by freezing them... except the animals (but but but... science and all). And the Rangers of course. They somehow managed to stay un-frozen. There is a boring fight and the Chillyfish runs away. Not before blasting Kai, Maya, Damon, and Kendrix... who remain sort of awake but very cold. Leo does what he can with blankets and stuff, but seriously? The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened.
Except on screen all we get is frozen electronic equipment. Nothing has power, for some reason, not even the motorcycles. It makes no sense but does leave for a defenseless spaceship. Trakeena is going to take advantage of this and flirts with a baddie general so she can get off her daddy's bug ship and go after the Fish of Orion. She is clearly the best.
Back on Terra Venture, it is morning! Because somehow there is SUN on a SPACESHIP even without POWER. Did this season just forget they're on a spaceship or something? Leo finds monsters and there is a fight and then general guy sends Trakeena back to the ship. She is clearly not happy about this and he'll pay for that later. Leo does some more fighty stuff and it's super boring.
But then! Then it's sunshine and rainbows and kittnes! Because it's all dramatic, guys! Because Leo realizes somebody else is unfrozen. It's the Super Dramatic Magna Defender! He is fiddling with the Fish, with his super swishy cape, and Leo begs for his help to unfreeze the colony. Super Dramatic MD doesn't give a two shakes about the colony and they are going to fight about it, because Leo has Upstanding Moral Fiber and MD has Super Depressing Angst. Super Dramatic MD's cape is super swishy all the time for what appears to be no reason in this episode. IT IS DELIGHTFUL. Now, we just need that water fountain...
Super Dramatic MD is willing to kill Leo to keep him from getting the lights, but he accidentally shoots the Fish instead and then flies off after them in a swishy dramatic fashion, with dramatic smoke and music. Because he's Super Dramatic.
Leo, after communing with a Tiny Bunny, realizes the animals are unaffected (BUT HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO, SO WTF?) and goes to the horse paddock. He talks very calmly to the dapper bay that threw him earlier, manages to come to an understanding, and gets a bridle on him. He eve does it properly! Good job, Leo. The horse isn't too happy to have Leo on his back, but he must realize the importance of the situation because he quickly adjusts and takes Leo off to wherever he needs to go... jumping the fence in the process, and Leo has really bad jumping posture. He rides to Chillyfish and there is SWORDFIGHTING ON HORSEBACK. SWORDFIGHTING. ON HORSEBACK. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART! This is my favourite thing ever.
Then there is boring not-on-horseback fighting and I don't care so much about it, except Leo totally hurts him, but then Super Dramatic MD with his Dramatically Swishy Cape saves the day by stabbing the hell out of Chillyfish amid Dramatic Music and Smoke. Chillyfish dies and then grows and then we get the Torozord and I REFUSE TO ASK WHERE THE HECK THIS THING CAME FROM BECAUSE ALLLLLLL THE FISH. Super Dramatic Magna Defender wins and then everybody just magically wakes up, body temperatures restored to normal, with no ill effects. Oh show.
Leo confronts Super Dramatic MD. His cape is so delightfully swishy. Dramatic Capes make everything better. They have a heart-to-heart and Leo believes in him even if he doesn't believe in himself and he walks away all slow motion and dramatic and OH I LOVE THIS GUY.
4 fish. It just... yeah. Even dramatic capes and swordfighting on horseback couldn't really save this one.
Fic we want: "The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened." - We demand that fic, like, yesterday.
So Maya likes to tend to the horses. I like her. I like horses. She needs help and Damon volunteers Leo, but then Leo backs out so Damon runs away too. Maya is clearly brilliant because she accuses them of being afraid and then they help. Or Leo helps. He's a "cowboy". Although I take offense to that. Not everybody who rides a horse is a cowboy. There are entire disciplines that are older than cowboys and western. Ahem.
Anyway! So Leo is Very Bad at this and falls off. Keep your heels down, son, and grip with your calves, you'll stay on. Unfortunately, in the fall, Mike's dogtags fall off and Leo has a minor heart attack. Damon would have teased him, except he's totally scared of Maya. I love that everybody is afraid of Maya. Because she is awesome.
Later that night, the Chillyfish (who looks more like a mushroom with fringe) shows up on top of a building. He puts everybody to sleep by freezing them... except the animals (but but but... science and all). And the Rangers of course. They somehow managed to stay un-frozen. There is a boring fight and the Chillyfish runs away. Not before blasting Kai, Maya, Damon, and Kendrix... who remain sort of awake but very cold. Leo does what he can with blankets and stuff, but seriously? The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened.
Except on screen all we get is frozen electronic equipment. Nothing has power, for some reason, not even the motorcycles. It makes no sense but does leave for a defenseless spaceship. Trakeena is going to take advantage of this and flirts with a baddie general so she can get off her daddy's bug ship and go after the Fish of Orion. She is clearly the best.
Back on Terra Venture, it is morning! Because somehow there is SUN on a SPACESHIP even without POWER. Did this season just forget they're on a spaceship or something? Leo finds monsters and there is a fight and then general guy sends Trakeena back to the ship. She is clearly not happy about this and he'll pay for that later. Leo does some more fighty stuff and it's super boring.
But then! Then it's sunshine and rainbows and kittnes! Because it's all dramatic, guys! Because Leo realizes somebody else is unfrozen. It's the Super Dramatic Magna Defender! He is fiddling with the Fish, with his super swishy cape, and Leo begs for his help to unfreeze the colony. Super Dramatic MD doesn't give a two shakes about the colony and they are going to fight about it, because Leo has Upstanding Moral Fiber and MD has Super Depressing Angst. Super Dramatic MD's cape is super swishy all the time for what appears to be no reason in this episode. IT IS DELIGHTFUL. Now, we just need that water fountain...
Super Dramatic MD is willing to kill Leo to keep him from getting the lights, but he accidentally shoots the Fish instead and then flies off after them in a swishy dramatic fashion, with dramatic smoke and music. Because he's Super Dramatic.
Leo, after communing with a Tiny Bunny, realizes the animals are unaffected (BUT HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO, SO WTF?) and goes to the horse paddock. He talks very calmly to the dapper bay that threw him earlier, manages to come to an understanding, and gets a bridle on him. He eve does it properly! Good job, Leo. The horse isn't too happy to have Leo on his back, but he must realize the importance of the situation because he quickly adjusts and takes Leo off to wherever he needs to go... jumping the fence in the process, and Leo has really bad jumping posture. He rides to Chillyfish and there is SWORDFIGHTING ON HORSEBACK. SWORDFIGHTING. ON HORSEBACK. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART! This is my favourite thing ever.
Then there is boring not-on-horseback fighting and I don't care so much about it, except Leo totally hurts him, but then Super Dramatic MD with his Dramatically Swishy Cape saves the day by stabbing the hell out of Chillyfish amid Dramatic Music and Smoke. Chillyfish dies and then grows and then we get the Torozord and I REFUSE TO ASK WHERE THE HECK THIS THING CAME FROM BECAUSE ALLLLLLL THE FISH. Super Dramatic Magna Defender wins and then everybody just magically wakes up, body temperatures restored to normal, with no ill effects. Oh show.
Leo confronts Super Dramatic MD. His cape is so delightfully swishy. Dramatic Capes make everything better. They have a heart-to-heart and Leo believes in him even if he doesn't believe in himself and he walks away all slow motion and dramatic and OH I LOVE THIS GUY.
4 fish. It just... yeah. Even dramatic capes and swordfighting on horseback couldn't really save this one.
Fic we want: "The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened." - We demand that fic, like, yesterday.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Episode 303 - The Sunflower Search
So we start with the Magna Defender having angst! I knew I liked him!
So, apparently his planet was destroyed, and he's calling his awesome zord to fight Scorpius. Unfortunately, Scorpius is using his tiny child as a shield. MD tells the Zord to retreat, and he tries to rescue his kid, who is tiny and adorable. Tiny child tries to fight and help his dad, but Scorpius destroys him. QR had to go and hide during this, and I don't blame her, because TINY CHILD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(((((
Magna Defender swears his revenge. UNDERSTANDABLY. So yeah, his kid was fridged to give him manpain. Tiny child, you should go be friends with Lian Harper, okay?
Scorpius and random villains are plotting something and hating on the defender. Don't care, because Trakeena isn't being awesome.
Meanwhile, Kendrix apparently gave Maya flowers, and the villains listen in on them. Since Maya and Kendrix are talking about how great sunflowers are, they assume that the lights are in the various sunflower statues on Terra Venture? Um? How would they have gotten there? I... sure? Look, I'm just going to point out the giant school of fish there, and be totally confused and then smile and nod.
After the MOTW attacks, the Magna Defender shows up to be awesome. While this is going on, Leo is having a sad about Mike. I'm not really sure where he got Mike's dogtags from? I mean, presumably Mike was wearing them when he got squished? But he goes and joins the other Rangers + MD to attack. The Defender doesn't care at all about civilians and just shoots all the things. MD is all "no, I have my angst, I don't care about anyone else, and nobody else can ever understand my pain." He is totally going for the emoest emo award.
Back in their apartment (and man, I want a Friends style AU really badly) they are all discussing why the Magna Defender has such a sad. Leo is all "revenge, duh" because he is smart.
Somewhere, the monster is attacking again, and a tiny child loses their bear. Poor thing. :( More fighting, and I am finding it hard to care. Magna Defender is a great anti-hero, we get it.
And then the tiny child somehow goes back after the bear, and the monster grabs the tiny child. We get a flashback to Magna Defender's tiny child, and Magna Defender refuses to drop its sword, so Leo stops him, because the risk is too great to the child.
The tiny child is very brave, and with the help of Damon, manages to rescue herself. Good Damon! Brave tiny child!
The monster fails to find the lights of orion, and then it grows, so the fugly zords are summoned. The monster manages to beat them, but the Magna Defender summons its Zord from inside Terra Venture, and I am not going to even TRY to figure out how Torozord got onto the spaceship. Trying to figure it out just gives us a headache. The Magna Defender himself grows and rides on top of the zord, which is pretty cool, I guess.
There's some more fighting, and the Rangers shoot at it from the ground, and Torozord does some more cool tricks and somehow a mountain grows INSIDE the space ship, and there are so many fish involved in this.... anyway, the defender combines with his Zord. This is just a thing that happens, I'm just going to go with it for now. The combination blows up the monster.
Scorpius is pissed off because Torozord is there, and the other villains snipe at each other, and Trakeena is great. Meanwhile, the demorphed Rangers are all "YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES" and we get another flashback to the death of the tiny child. APPARENTLY THEY REALLY LIKE TO SHOW THAT. Leo is all "I know how you feel! But you have to have control or you're as bad as them."
There is so much wrong there, I don't know where to start. First, no, Leo, you don't know exactly how he feels. So shut up. (Second, NO HE IS NOT AS BAD AS THE VILLAINS. NO. He is not going around and DELIBERATELY MURDERING TINY CHILDREN. Third, do we really need to constantly show the death of a tiny child? Ugh, this is one of the reasons I quit reading DC Comics. (Seriously, DC, I am still filled with rage over the death of Lian Harper. STILL.)
Fish: 2. Lots of boring fighting, but angsty backstory! That is something we're a fan of!
So, apparently his planet was destroyed, and he's calling his awesome zord to fight Scorpius. Unfortunately, Scorpius is using his tiny child as a shield. MD tells the Zord to retreat, and he tries to rescue his kid, who is tiny and adorable. Tiny child tries to fight and help his dad, but Scorpius destroys him. QR had to go and hide during this, and I don't blame her, because TINY CHILD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(((((
Magna Defender swears his revenge. UNDERSTANDABLY. So yeah, his kid was fridged to give him manpain. Tiny child, you should go be friends with Lian Harper, okay?
Scorpius and random villains are plotting something and hating on the defender. Don't care, because Trakeena isn't being awesome.
Meanwhile, Kendrix apparently gave Maya flowers, and the villains listen in on them. Since Maya and Kendrix are talking about how great sunflowers are, they assume that the lights are in the various sunflower statues on Terra Venture? Um? How would they have gotten there? I... sure? Look, I'm just going to point out the giant school of fish there, and be totally confused and then smile and nod.
After the MOTW attacks, the Magna Defender shows up to be awesome. While this is going on, Leo is having a sad about Mike. I'm not really sure where he got Mike's dogtags from? I mean, presumably Mike was wearing them when he got squished? But he goes and joins the other Rangers + MD to attack. The Defender doesn't care at all about civilians and just shoots all the things. MD is all "no, I have my angst, I don't care about anyone else, and nobody else can ever understand my pain." He is totally going for the emoest emo award.
Back in their apartment (and man, I want a Friends style AU really badly) they are all discussing why the Magna Defender has such a sad. Leo is all "revenge, duh" because he is smart.
Somewhere, the monster is attacking again, and a tiny child loses their bear. Poor thing. :( More fighting, and I am finding it hard to care. Magna Defender is a great anti-hero, we get it.
And then the tiny child somehow goes back after the bear, and the monster grabs the tiny child. We get a flashback to Magna Defender's tiny child, and Magna Defender refuses to drop its sword, so Leo stops him, because the risk is too great to the child.
The tiny child is very brave, and with the help of Damon, manages to rescue herself. Good Damon! Brave tiny child!
The monster fails to find the lights of orion, and then it grows, so the fugly zords are summoned. The monster manages to beat them, but the Magna Defender summons its Zord from inside Terra Venture, and I am not going to even TRY to figure out how Torozord got onto the spaceship. Trying to figure it out just gives us a headache. The Magna Defender himself grows and rides on top of the zord, which is pretty cool, I guess.
There's some more fighting, and the Rangers shoot at it from the ground, and Torozord does some more cool tricks and somehow a mountain grows INSIDE the space ship, and there are so many fish involved in this.... anyway, the defender combines with his Zord. This is just a thing that happens, I'm just going to go with it for now. The combination blows up the monster.
Scorpius is pissed off because Torozord is there, and the other villains snipe at each other, and Trakeena is great. Meanwhile, the demorphed Rangers are all "YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES" and we get another flashback to the death of the tiny child. APPARENTLY THEY REALLY LIKE TO SHOW THAT. Leo is all "I know how you feel! But you have to have control or you're as bad as them."
There is so much wrong there, I don't know where to start. First, no, Leo, you don't know exactly how he feels. So shut up. (Second, NO HE IS NOT AS BAD AS THE VILLAINS. NO. He is not going around and DELIBERATELY MURDERING TINY CHILDREN. Third, do we really need to constantly show the death of a tiny child? Ugh, this is one of the reasons I quit reading DC Comics. (Seriously, DC, I am still filled with rage over the death of Lian Harper. STILL.)
Fish: 2. Lots of boring fighting, but angsty backstory! That is something we're a fan of!
Episode 302- The Magna Defender
Today on Power Rangers, it's Sixth Ranger Time! Wow, that was fast.
So Henchman Guy has found the Fish of Orion. Leo shows up in the cave. There is a fight. It's kind of boring, until the bad guy decides if he can't have the Fish, nobody can, so he BLOWS UP THE CAVE. He hugs Leo and blows up the whole freaking cave. It's kind of epic!
And then a new hero walks out of the smoke carrying now-demorphed Leo. He has horns. He's kind of awesome. Nevermind that he just saved Leo's life. It's all about the horns here.
Later, Leo is in hospital. With Alpha attending him and omg it's so adorable and hot at the same time (more shirtless!Leo please!). Leo wakes up and imagines it was his brother carrying him out of the cave, so Leo takes off. Shirtless! Any episode that starts off with Leo shirtless and horribly traumatized is a good episode in our book. I would totally be happy with a topless Damon and Kai, too, but I'll settle for just Leo.
Leo goes back to the cave and finds somebody mining something in the rocks, but he runs away when Leo calls out to him. Using his Plastic Sword of Swishyness, he breaks apart some rocks and finds what looks like a stone egg. Being smart and trusting his team, he takes it to Kendrix to examine. Because Kendrix is the smartest person on the team and totally knows Things.
On her way to examine the stone egg further, she gets attacked by a squat monster thing who tries to steal the stone egg, which turns out to be the Fish of Orion. The Magna Defender shows up to stop him and Kendrix is able to escape with the Fish. Good teamwork, guys! Except he asks for the fish from her (by holding out his hand) and then all the other rangers attack him. The squat monster thing attacks, Kendrix throws the Fish, and he runs away with it. Magna Defender really does NOT want to talk to them, so he stalks off in dramatic slow motion to dramatic music. With his cape swishing dramatically in the smoke. It's very dramatic, guys.
All the bad guys are now having a Fish of Orion party. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to break that rock open and having NO LUCK. Because the Fish totally aren't ready to come spilling forth from that rock yet. Most of the monsters hide while Big Hammer Guy takes on the rangers. The fight is interrupted by the Magna Defender, though! He comes on the scene in dramatic slow motion with dramatic music. It's all kinds of dramatic.
He's such a badass he totally wins it. He just kind of looks askance at the Sting Wingers and they all fall down. Because they know he'll just beat the crap out of them if they try. Leo keeps seeing his brother in everything the Magna Defender does, but he doesn't want to believe it. Because Mike is supposed to be dead and all. Poor Leo and his dead-brother-angst wishful thinking.
The Magna Defender then beats Hammer Guy with dramatic cape flowing and dramatic jumping and dramatic theme music and super dramatic big explosions. He also manages to split the rock and yet no Fish come pouring out. Because it's a fake! Which means now it's story time! Because 3,000 years ago, the Magna Defender released the Fish of Orion. He ended up trapped in a hole by Scorpius and his minions and now there is going to be an epic battle because he is Dramatic, in case you hadn't noticed.
Squat monster grows and the rangers call out the zords and there is a boring and, frankly, very fugly battle. Let's get back to Super Dramatic and Awesomely Horned Magna Defender, shall we? He's about to end his fight. Without weapons. Because he's just THAT much of a badass. Kai, being super awesome, suggests they work together. Kendrix points out they're working for the same thing and the Magna Defender gets REALLY angry, shoves her away, and says she has no idea what he's fighting for. Which, technically, is true. Leo realizes he's not Mike, logically this time, and has another sad.
3 fish. It wasn't fishy, just terribly dull.
(before anybody gets upset, I know the Magna Defender has a really really good reason for being all dramatic and angry. I would be too, and it's a trigger of mine, which is why TSB explained it in advance and is recapping that episode. I just love all the over-the-top effects)
(also, thank you, Rev, for remembering I have that particular trigger and giving the heads up that we are at that point)
So Henchman Guy has found the Fish of Orion. Leo shows up in the cave. There is a fight. It's kind of boring, until the bad guy decides if he can't have the Fish, nobody can, so he BLOWS UP THE CAVE. He hugs Leo and blows up the whole freaking cave. It's kind of epic!
And then a new hero walks out of the smoke carrying now-demorphed Leo. He has horns. He's kind of awesome. Nevermind that he just saved Leo's life. It's all about the horns here.
Later, Leo is in hospital. With Alpha attending him and omg it's so adorable and hot at the same time (more shirtless!Leo please!). Leo wakes up and imagines it was his brother carrying him out of the cave, so Leo takes off. Shirtless! Any episode that starts off with Leo shirtless and horribly traumatized is a good episode in our book. I would totally be happy with a topless Damon and Kai, too, but I'll settle for just Leo.
Leo goes back to the cave and finds somebody mining something in the rocks, but he runs away when Leo calls out to him. Using his Plastic Sword of Swishyness, he breaks apart some rocks and finds what looks like a stone egg. Being smart and trusting his team, he takes it to Kendrix to examine. Because Kendrix is the smartest person on the team and totally knows Things.
On her way to examine the stone egg further, she gets attacked by a squat monster thing who tries to steal the stone egg, which turns out to be the Fish of Orion. The Magna Defender shows up to stop him and Kendrix is able to escape with the Fish. Good teamwork, guys! Except he asks for the fish from her (by holding out his hand) and then all the other rangers attack him. The squat monster thing attacks, Kendrix throws the Fish, and he runs away with it. Magna Defender really does NOT want to talk to them, so he stalks off in dramatic slow motion to dramatic music. With his cape swishing dramatically in the smoke. It's very dramatic, guys.
All the bad guys are now having a Fish of Orion party. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to break that rock open and having NO LUCK. Because the Fish totally aren't ready to come spilling forth from that rock yet. Most of the monsters hide while Big Hammer Guy takes on the rangers. The fight is interrupted by the Magna Defender, though! He comes on the scene in dramatic slow motion with dramatic music. It's all kinds of dramatic.
He's such a badass he totally wins it. He just kind of looks askance at the Sting Wingers and they all fall down. Because they know he'll just beat the crap out of them if they try. Leo keeps seeing his brother in everything the Magna Defender does, but he doesn't want to believe it. Because Mike is supposed to be dead and all. Poor Leo and his dead-brother-angst wishful thinking.
The Magna Defender then beats Hammer Guy with dramatic cape flowing and dramatic jumping and dramatic theme music and super dramatic big explosions. He also manages to split the rock and yet no Fish come pouring out. Because it's a fake! Which means now it's story time! Because 3,000 years ago, the Magna Defender released the Fish of Orion. He ended up trapped in a hole by Scorpius and his minions and now there is going to be an epic battle because he is Dramatic, in case you hadn't noticed.
Squat monster grows and the rangers call out the zords and there is a boring and, frankly, very fugly battle. Let's get back to Super Dramatic and Awesomely Horned Magna Defender, shall we? He's about to end his fight. Without weapons. Because he's just THAT much of a badass. Kai, being super awesome, suggests they work together. Kendrix points out they're working for the same thing and the Magna Defender gets REALLY angry, shoves her away, and says she has no idea what he's fighting for. Which, technically, is true. Leo realizes he's not Mike, logically this time, and has another sad.
3 fish. It wasn't fishy, just terribly dull.
(before anybody gets upset, I know the Magna Defender has a really really good reason for being all dramatic and angry. I would be too, and it's a trigger of mine, which is why TSB explained it in advance and is recapping that episode. I just love all the over-the-top effects)
(also, thank you, Rev, for remembering I have that particular trigger and giving the heads up that we are at that point)
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Episode 301- The Blue Crush
It's a Kai episode! I really like Kai.
And he gets a special assignment! Because he's awesome! Basically he gets handed the Commander's daughter and told to take her skating. Because the Commander is a jerk who can't be bothered to spend quality time with his own daughter. Crap dad.
But it means we get Kai with Tiny Child! First Damon with Tiny Child and now Kai? The only thing that would make this better would be if The Doctor showed up and held a baby. Kai is not very steady on skates. Tiny Child is pretty good. He even gets video of her being pretty good. DAWWWWWW.
Trakena wants a social life. I can't blame her. I wouldn't want to be stuck inside a big flying bug ship for eternity either. How boring. They are still looking for the Fish of Orion. Somehow it is buried in the soil of the ship. I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO THIS NOW.
So back to Tiny Child and Kai. Kai spies a pretty lady with the camera. He focuses more on her than Tiny Child and is adorably awkward on skates. He kind of fails at this babysitting thing. Plus I'm totally not buying the crush-on-a-girl thing. But he's cute, so I'll forgive it. He gets distracted by his communicator and goes over a wall. It's also cute! He has to ask Pretty Lady to watch Jody, since he has super secret ranger things to do.
There is bug/ranger fighting and it's boring. I really just want to get back to Awkward Kai and Tiny Child at the skating rink. Bug Monster Thing put stuff in the soil and then ran away. Kai rushes back to the skating rink, not paying attention to the soil. He then LIES to Jody and ignores her while watching the girl and enters ballet dream sequence. Really? BALLET DREAM SEQUENCE, KAI?. Kai, you FAIL.
Later, Jody hangs out with the other rangers to watch her video. Everyone is excited and complimentary until Kai starts filming the pretty girl and ignoring Jody. Poor Jody. He then makes really bad pancakes. Everybody knows it's because of the girl. Kai is totally letting down his Inappropriately Young Friend. Bad Kai, no cookie. The Commander comes to pick up Jody and again, worst father ever.
Kendrix tells Kai all about Hannah, the girl, and then dashes all hope by telling him it's a big colony and he'll never see her again. Really? It's not that big. And then he totally sees her and makes a jackass of himself with mustard and a water fountain. She thinks it's cute though. She doesn't know he's got a boyfriend already, poor thing.
Meanwhile, Big Bad calls forth the things that got put in the soil earlier. It causes earthquakes. EARTHQUAKES. ON A SPACE STATION. *sigh* Rangers attack. Stingwingers attack. It's boring. Kai is totally dragging Hannah away when she sees a guy in a car and starts screaming for him, then explains something about the wedding and a dress, and Kai goes to rescue the guy. And he manages to save the dress. Because he's Kai and he's a badass, even in the face of exploding cars and impending heartache. OH HIS LITTLE FACE WHEN HE HANDS HER THE DRESS. DEAR G-D IN HEAVEN ARCHIE KAO JUST BROKE MY HEART WITH THAT EXPRESSION. I just want to bake him cookies, pet his hair, and tell him everything will be okay.
Then he goes and does Badass things to the bad guy. Because Kai is super awesome. They totally win because of him. Because he's Kai. Big Bad Bug Guy isn't happy and his henchman escapes, because Big Bad Bug Guy was totally about to blow him up. Henchman finds the Fish of Orion.
On the ship, Kai has a sad and won't eat. Damon is upset because Kai is the only one who can cook. Damon is full of hilarious quips and DAMON I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE WITH EACH PASSING EPISODE. Inappropriately Young Friend Jody knows Kai has a sad and brings him a present from Hannah. Because she is Tiny and Adorable. Kai discovers Hannah was a beautiful bridesmaid at her sister's wedding and Kai is no longer sad, because he has cake! DAW.
4.5 fish. Kai having a sad is the only thing keeping it from being 5 fish, and that's only because Archie Kao is great at the facial expressions.
And he gets a special assignment! Because he's awesome! Basically he gets handed the Commander's daughter and told to take her skating. Because the Commander is a jerk who can't be bothered to spend quality time with his own daughter. Crap dad.
But it means we get Kai with Tiny Child! First Damon with Tiny Child and now Kai? The only thing that would make this better would be if The Doctor showed up and held a baby. Kai is not very steady on skates. Tiny Child is pretty good. He even gets video of her being pretty good. DAWWWWWW.
Trakena wants a social life. I can't blame her. I wouldn't want to be stuck inside a big flying bug ship for eternity either. How boring. They are still looking for the Fish of Orion. Somehow it is buried in the soil of the ship. I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO THIS NOW.
So back to Tiny Child and Kai. Kai spies a pretty lady with the camera. He focuses more on her than Tiny Child and is adorably awkward on skates. He kind of fails at this babysitting thing. Plus I'm totally not buying the crush-on-a-girl thing. But he's cute, so I'll forgive it. He gets distracted by his communicator and goes over a wall. It's also cute! He has to ask Pretty Lady to watch Jody, since he has super secret ranger things to do.
There is bug/ranger fighting and it's boring. I really just want to get back to Awkward Kai and Tiny Child at the skating rink. Bug Monster Thing put stuff in the soil and then ran away. Kai rushes back to the skating rink, not paying attention to the soil. He then LIES to Jody and ignores her while watching the girl and enters ballet dream sequence. Really? BALLET DREAM SEQUENCE, KAI?. Kai, you FAIL.
Later, Jody hangs out with the other rangers to watch her video. Everyone is excited and complimentary until Kai starts filming the pretty girl and ignoring Jody. Poor Jody. He then makes really bad pancakes. Everybody knows it's because of the girl. Kai is totally letting down his Inappropriately Young Friend. Bad Kai, no cookie. The Commander comes to pick up Jody and again, worst father ever.
Kendrix tells Kai all about Hannah, the girl, and then dashes all hope by telling him it's a big colony and he'll never see her again. Really? It's not that big. And then he totally sees her and makes a jackass of himself with mustard and a water fountain. She thinks it's cute though. She doesn't know he's got a boyfriend already, poor thing.
Meanwhile, Big Bad calls forth the things that got put in the soil earlier. It causes earthquakes. EARTHQUAKES. ON A SPACE STATION. *sigh* Rangers attack. Stingwingers attack. It's boring. Kai is totally dragging Hannah away when she sees a guy in a car and starts screaming for him, then explains something about the wedding and a dress, and Kai goes to rescue the guy. And he manages to save the dress. Because he's Kai and he's a badass, even in the face of exploding cars and impending heartache. OH HIS LITTLE FACE WHEN HE HANDS HER THE DRESS. DEAR G-D IN HEAVEN ARCHIE KAO JUST BROKE MY HEART WITH THAT EXPRESSION. I just want to bake him cookies, pet his hair, and tell him everything will be okay.
Then he goes and does Badass things to the bad guy. Because Kai is super awesome. They totally win because of him. Because he's Kai. Big Bad Bug Guy isn't happy and his henchman escapes, because Big Bad Bug Guy was totally about to blow him up. Henchman finds the Fish of Orion.
On the ship, Kai has a sad and won't eat. Damon is upset because Kai is the only one who can cook. Damon is full of hilarious quips and DAMON I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE WITH EACH PASSING EPISODE. Inappropriately Young Friend Jody knows Kai has a sad and brings him a present from Hannah. Because she is Tiny and Adorable. Kai discovers Hannah was a beautiful bridesmaid at her sister's wedding and Kai is no longer sad, because he has cake! DAW.
4.5 fish. Kai having a sad is the only thing keeping it from being 5 fish, and that's only because Archie Kao is great at the facial expressions.
Episode 300 - Double Duty
Happy 300th episode! We come back to you after a long delay (real life once again rears its ugly head) and I wasn't able to recap until now. But now we are back, and we are recapping episode 300, which is about Kendrix!
.... Oh no, it's this episode.
Kendrix and Kai are sparring, and it is SUPER GREAT and she beats him. I love that they're training and they work on it. Kendrix is very proud that she beat him, and Kai is all "I have things to do today" and Kendrix is like "and you're tired of hitting the mat" which is also true. I love that he admits it.
So then we find out that Kendrix seems to have a(n evil) twin who is a movie star. Carolyn. She is all bitchy and self centered and blows off her responsibilities to go shopping. Um... quick question. Why is there a movie star on Terra Venture? I'm going to assume it's partially because of what missmollyetc said in the comments of an earlier recap, about wanting something familiar, but... really? I mean, yes, entertainment is necessary for a long trip, but you would think that a prima donna would not be on the list.
Scorpius is yelling at Furio again. Apparently they think the lights are hidden in a camera? Sure. That makes just as much sense as anything else.
Back on Terra Venture, they're doing photography of Carolyn, who is being incredibly whiny. Look, I can buy the movies being necessary, but photoshoots? This is really the best use of Terra Venture resources?
The Wise Wizard shows up to inspect the camera, but the Rangers show up, and Kendrix falls down and is shot in the leg or something. Carolyn fakes being injured so she can relax and have some time off. Carolyn's agent is all "hey, you can double for Carolyn until her ankle is better."
Kendrix agrees to help out, because it's not like she doesn't have other responsibilities on the ship, and as a Ranger, and also, she doesn't act. Carolyn continues to be a giant pain in the ass and whine and go shopping and bitch about fans.
Kendrix does a scene and ends up screwing up a lot of things. Which, as mentioned, she is not an actress. Why is Carolyn even willing to share the credit with her? I mean, is Carolyn going to give her co-star role in the movie? Nothing about this makes sense.
Kendrix's leg is still really bothering her, and Carolyn feels guilty, and she tells Kendrix to quit. Kendrix is all "Nope, I don't care that I'm injured, I'm going to do this because I promised." And like, while that is partially a moral I can get behind? If you are injured or sick you are allowed to rest. (Yes, yes, I am aware of the actress's real life health issues, which just make the moral of this episode even more ridiculous.)
They do take after take of Kendrix climbing up a hill, and nobody seems to notice that she's hurt. They are all morons. But Kendrix is determined and won't give up. So she very dramatically slow mo climbs up the hill, even though she is holding her leg in pain, and Carolyn is whispering for her to just quit. But she does the shot and everyone tells her she's wonderful, and Carolyn the bitchy actress is learning her lesson, or something.
Look, the moral of keeping a promise is important, but INJURING YOURSELF OVER THIS? REALLY? NO. When it is physically or emotionally damaging? Or hurting yourself or someone else? You don't keep that promise then.
So then a monster attacks, and Kendrix attacks it. Carolyn also comes to help and the two stand together. The rest of the Rangers finally show up to help, and Kendrix runs off to morph as well, even though she's still hurt.
The Rangers get trapped by kanji symbols and Kendrix comes running in. She totally gets to save the day, using her weapon to destroy its kanji, so she recovers and the others are freed. There's some more fighting, and Kendrix continues to take on the monster singlehandedly. Because she is GREAT. The five of them use some missile launcher things to destroy the monster, which promptly grows. They summon the fugly zords and blow up the monster by shooting a missile at it.
Back in their shared quarters, Kendrix is reading some lines, and they see Carolyn win some award. Carolyn dedicates the award to Kendrix, and really, if its for the movie that Kendrix did half the acting in, she should be GETTING the award.
Fish: 5, just because of the rage inducing moral. Hard work is good, keeping promises is good, hurting yourself to do so is NOT.
Fic we want: So, Kendrix likes to roleplay?
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