OH MY GOD, IT IS FINALE TIME.
So we start with Dark Specter telling Astronema that it is time for the FINAL BATTLE. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT? Astronema is talking to a giant army about how there will only be evil left and SERIOUSLY, EPIC. We get to see ALL THE OLD VILLAINS. The Machine Empire is there (and wow, I missed them) and then we see the forces of Divatox fighting the Aquitian Rangers (and where is Billy?) and Astronema yelling at Rita and Zedd (and they both sass her until Dark Specter's name is dropped) and HOW SO GREAT, SHOW. HOW SO GREAT.
Astronema talks to Zordon, and is all "mwahaha, running out of energy" and Zordon tells her she won't get away with it. We see another flash of Phantom and Blue Senturian being overrun by the Machine Empire and then Rita and Zedd and their putties and a TON of old monsters fighting on Triforia and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A FINALE.
Even KO-35 (with Zhane back there) is again being destroyed. Zhane heads to Earth to find more Rangers to help, but of course he's attacked on his way back to Earth. Luckily for him, the Astro Megaship shows up to save the day at the last minute.
Andros and the others tell Zhane that it's not just the KO-35 rebels, it's ALL OVER the universe. Apparently there's a whole galaxy that has no defenses at all? Really? And of course, Earth is under attack. I wish they'd managed to bring back some old Rangers for this, because you KNOW that they were busy fighting during it. (I choose to believe that it happened and we just didn't get to see them.)
And I mean, seeing the GIANT ARMY of fighters show up in the sky is freaking amazing. Again, this is the finale that I judge all other finales by. Because WOW.
From space we can see that it isn't just Angel Grove - all over it being attacked, although it looks like things are concentrated in Angel Grove, of course. We're surprised that the rest of the world hasn't abandoned Angel Grove by now.
There's a decent space battle as they get ready to land, and Zhane offers to handle the space battle part as the Rangers fight on Earth. We get to see a LOT of buildings get destroyed, including some familiar sights.
Even still, the Rangers are TOTALLY OVERWHELMED. There are just SO MANY of them. They keep trying to evacuate people as they go, but like, where are they supposed to evacuate them to?
Andros goes all Battlizer in his ugly toy, and blows up a ton of stuff. Until Eclitpor knocks over his ugly toy, and Ashley and Andros get forcibly demorphed by Ecliptor and Darkonda. Once their powers fail, they run away.
Zhane isn't having much luck either, and then for some reason he just LEAVES THE MEGASHIP to launch his own zord? I guess Alpha is piloting the Megaship? He does get to smash a bunch of fighters with his fists though, and that's pretty cool. Of course, there are so many fighters that he falls over. Bad plan, Zhane!
the remaining Rangers also get demorphed and ugh, Carlos's arms. SO NICE. TJ calls for a retreat and they get chased by a bunch of Quantrons. The Rangers are all pretty beaten up, with Carlos trying to carry Cassie.
The citizens of Angel Grove appear to have been captured and are being escorted somewhere by Quantrons, and the Rangers (minus Zhane) all regroup. Darkonda is all pissed because he only has one life left, and then he launches his own ship to do something.
Astronema is talking to Dark Specter, when Darkonda attacks Dark Specter and BLOWS HIM UP, although Darkonda is destroyed (by Dark Specter) in the process. The forces of good would like to thank you, Darkonda, for doing everyone a favor.
Alpha contacts the Rangers to let them know that Dark Specter has been destroyed, and Ecliptor tells the universe that now Astronema is in charge. Divatox is SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT. I love her. And then the whole universe bows to Astronema.
A little kid is told by his mother that they shouldn't worry, the Rangers will save them. Zordon tries to get through to Astronema, now that her programming should be failing, but her programming reasserts itself. At least Zordon's power is no longer being drained?
And just as Astronema gives the order to invade for real, we get the to be continued. THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS, SHOW.
Fish: 1.5 THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS.
Questions/fic we want: So, the other Rangers are doing WHAT during all this?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Episode 291- A Line In The Sand
So we knew, the minute we started this whole thing, that there would be some episodes that one or the other of us would be recapping, no questions asked, no matter what. Sometimes because it's an episode we love so very very much (like TSB gets all the Adam episodes, but Billy was mine), and sometimes because it's something the other hates so much they can't bear to recap it. This is the latter. I knew I would do this episode because it's the Andros/Ashley date episode. TSB hates them. I am ambivalent. So to save you from a capslocked recap of NO NO NO BAD, you'll get my rather lackluster "and the point of that was?"
We start the episode out with Andros and Ashley on a date. They walk hand in hand and have fancy leather jackets that apparently Andros just bought for Ashley and there are compliments and romance. Then Tiny Children let them play hopscotch and it's ADORABLE. Although why Tiny Children are out playing on the street in the dark clearly at night, I don't know. My kids would be in bed sleeping by that time, yo.
But then! Oh noes! A big SUV tries to run them over. On the sidewalk. And then they run away, round a corner, and decide to look for the SUV behind some boxes... because SUVs are often found hiding behind cardboard boxes. I have no clue what's going on. Hopefully they'll explain it (but I'm not holding my breath). The SUV drives off at 88 miles per hour. My theory is the SUV only acts this way because it read the script, realized it made no sense, argued with the writers, caved and did it's job anyway, and then never worked in the entertainment industry again. Poor SUV. It tried to make sense of this episode.
Back on the Megaship, Cassie tries to convince them it was just a crazy driver. Carlos is off having really nice arms while playing soccer instead of being concerned for them, and I definitely approve. We needed far more Carlos-plays-soccer this season than we actually got. He wanders off to get a wayward ball and then he gets sucked into a vortex by the big SUV. Clearly he's concerned about this SUV thing now. Somehow the rest of the team totally doesn't care that he vanished into the trees and never returned. And I thought the rangers were bad friends!
The SUV then comes for Cassie and TJ. There is morphed fighting the SUV (which kind of looks like half a Hummer? I don't know) and it's RIDICULOUS. Like, incredibly ridiculous. The vehicle is clearly trying to kill them and they just run from it instead of, I don't know, teleporting away. They get sucked into the red vortex and meet up with Carlos who explains the situation and lack of sense of this plot.
Apparently the car is named Tankenstein. Astronema hired it to capture the rangers. Clearly Andros and Ashley should be contacting Justin to come save them, but instead they go off to fight it on their own. In Ashley's car from Turbo (seriously show? You choose THIS episode to go with the whole continuity thing? Well okay, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth). There is more ridiculous morphed fighting with the SUV. Andros even has to call out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit to beat the darn thing. And they still manage to get sucked into the stupid vortex. Now all five of them are trapped on some weird desert world.
The Cocky Badass comes to the rescue AGAIN. There is no explanation of how he got there, how he knew where they were, where he came from, how he knew what was going on, why he knew to fight the SUV. He just comes in and does it because he's a Cocky Badass. Seriously, he's worse than Tommy.
There is a zord fight. They win. It's boring, until the big SUV manages to blow up MORE TOYS (dude, WORSE THAN TOMMY, guys... that's not a good thing!). All they have left is the Astro Megaship. They're all dirty and smoking and damaged, except for Cocky Badass, who is perfectly coiffed.
4.5 fish. The only thing saving this episode was Carlos and his pretty pretty arms playing soccer.
We start the episode out with Andros and Ashley on a date. They walk hand in hand and have fancy leather jackets that apparently Andros just bought for Ashley and there are compliments and romance. Then Tiny Children let them play hopscotch and it's ADORABLE. Although why Tiny Children are out playing on the street in the dark clearly at night, I don't know. My kids would be in bed sleeping by that time, yo.
But then! Oh noes! A big SUV tries to run them over. On the sidewalk. And then they run away, round a corner, and decide to look for the SUV behind some boxes... because SUVs are often found hiding behind cardboard boxes. I have no clue what's going on. Hopefully they'll explain it (but I'm not holding my breath). The SUV drives off at 88 miles per hour. My theory is the SUV only acts this way because it read the script, realized it made no sense, argued with the writers, caved and did it's job anyway, and then never worked in the entertainment industry again. Poor SUV. It tried to make sense of this episode.
Back on the Megaship, Cassie tries to convince them it was just a crazy driver. Carlos is off having really nice arms while playing soccer instead of being concerned for them, and I definitely approve. We needed far more Carlos-plays-soccer this season than we actually got. He wanders off to get a wayward ball and then he gets sucked into a vortex by the big SUV. Clearly he's concerned about this SUV thing now. Somehow the rest of the team totally doesn't care that he vanished into the trees and never returned. And I thought the rangers were bad friends!
The SUV then comes for Cassie and TJ. There is morphed fighting the SUV (which kind of looks like half a Hummer? I don't know) and it's RIDICULOUS. Like, incredibly ridiculous. The vehicle is clearly trying to kill them and they just run from it instead of, I don't know, teleporting away. They get sucked into the red vortex and meet up with Carlos who explains the situation and lack of sense of this plot.
Apparently the car is named Tankenstein. Astronema hired it to capture the rangers. Clearly Andros and Ashley should be contacting Justin to come save them, but instead they go off to fight it on their own. In Ashley's car from Turbo (seriously show? You choose THIS episode to go with the whole continuity thing? Well okay, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth). There is more ridiculous morphed fighting with the SUV. Andros even has to call out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit to beat the darn thing. And they still manage to get sucked into the stupid vortex. Now all five of them are trapped on some weird desert world.
The Cocky Badass comes to the rescue AGAIN. There is no explanation of how he got there, how he knew where they were, where he came from, how he knew what was going on, why he knew to fight the SUV. He just comes in and does it because he's a Cocky Badass. Seriously, he's worse than Tommy.
There is a zord fight. They win. It's boring, until the big SUV manages to blow up MORE TOYS (dude, WORSE THAN TOMMY, guys... that's not a good thing!). All they have left is the Astro Megaship. They're all dirty and smoking and damaged, except for Cocky Badass, who is perfectly coiffed.
4.5 fish. The only thing saving this episode was Carlos and his pretty pretty arms playing soccer.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Episode 289 - Ghosts in the Machine
We're BACK. I've missed recapping so much, you all have no idea.
So apparently all the missing people from the last episode (remember that one?) are on a cruise ship? I thought they were in an alternate dimension? Maybe I've just forgotten things from last time. Anyway, the cruise ship is completely abandoned. Except apparently people were on the cruise ship and eating some fairly nice food? I have no idea, seriously, show. Why were the prisoners being held on a nice cruise ship? Why have they all left now? If Astronema wants to take me prisoner and put me on a cruise, I would be totally in favor of that. Free cruise!
Back on the ship, Carlos is still stressed about Silvy, and he and Andros continue searching.
Except now the prisoners aren't on a cruise ship, they're in an underwater city, and Astronema of Borg and her minions are turning Bulk, Skull and the Professor into datacards? I seem to remember this making more sense.
Were they on the cruise ship at all? Why does Astronema want them to be datacards anyway? How is she going to use them? Was the city on the ship? Why does Carlos only care about Silvy? Like, half of Angel Grove is missing.
Andros's big plan once they somehow figure out that the city is under the sea is that they'll tunnel under the city? What. I don't know.
The ghosts of the Psychos follow them around and they're very sulky about it. The Rangers make a big deal about not being detected, and then they pretty instantly get discovered. But there's a fairly decent fight scene, so I'm cool with that.
Astronema claims that their getting into the city was part of her plan all along. Which... I might buy, because Cassie instantly pushes Andros out of the way of the machine thing and she's slowly and apparently painfully turned into a datacard. She gives a last minute plea to Astronema about how they're friends, but Astronema is all "nope, I have none" and Andros is unable to destroy the datalaser because it will destroy Cassie as well. The other Rangers are all dataformed a lot faster.
The psychos take advantage of the machine to somehow turn themselves back into physical form. I guess they're also data? The fish are really strong with this one. I guess it's because they're under the sea and all.
The Psychos steal the datacards back, and then they fight Ecliptor and blast him repeatedly. Because the Psychos want their own revenge they turn the Rangers back into physical form. Really, Emily Thorne is way better at this revenge thing then they are. There's some more fighting over who gets to destroy the Rangers, and then some more fighting. The Rangers appear to be doing better at fighting the Psychos.
Even though Zhane wasn't with them when they went to the city, he shows up anyway to fight Ecliptor? He finds all the datacards (still not sure what Astronema wanted them for anyway) and then turns people back to normal. (There are far less people then there were cards, for the record).
The Rangers lure all the Psychos to the control room and turn them into datacards. Due to stuff blowing up, the Rangers have to teleport out without the Psychos datacards. This is the end of them. Riiiiiiiiiiight.
They briefly try to convince us that Zhane is hurt, but nobody is buying that. It wasn't even a convincing fake out. And then we find out that of COURSE Astronema still has the datacards.
There was not enough of awesome future ranger Silvy in this episode :(
Fish: FIVE. SO MANY FISH.
Questions: Why did it take so long to transform Cassie compared to everyone else? Seriously, why did Astronema want datacards anwyay? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE?
So apparently all the missing people from the last episode (remember that one?) are on a cruise ship? I thought they were in an alternate dimension? Maybe I've just forgotten things from last time. Anyway, the cruise ship is completely abandoned. Except apparently people were on the cruise ship and eating some fairly nice food? I have no idea, seriously, show. Why were the prisoners being held on a nice cruise ship? Why have they all left now? If Astronema wants to take me prisoner and put me on a cruise, I would be totally in favor of that. Free cruise!
Back on the ship, Carlos is still stressed about Silvy, and he and Andros continue searching.
Except now the prisoners aren't on a cruise ship, they're in an underwater city, and Astronema of Borg and her minions are turning Bulk, Skull and the Professor into datacards? I seem to remember this making more sense.
Were they on the cruise ship at all? Why does Astronema want them to be datacards anyway? How is she going to use them? Was the city on the ship? Why does Carlos only care about Silvy? Like, half of Angel Grove is missing.
Andros's big plan once they somehow figure out that the city is under the sea is that they'll tunnel under the city? What. I don't know.
The ghosts of the Psychos follow them around and they're very sulky about it. The Rangers make a big deal about not being detected, and then they pretty instantly get discovered. But there's a fairly decent fight scene, so I'm cool with that.
Astronema claims that their getting into the city was part of her plan all along. Which... I might buy, because Cassie instantly pushes Andros out of the way of the machine thing and she's slowly and apparently painfully turned into a datacard. She gives a last minute plea to Astronema about how they're friends, but Astronema is all "nope, I have none" and Andros is unable to destroy the datalaser because it will destroy Cassie as well. The other Rangers are all dataformed a lot faster.
The psychos take advantage of the machine to somehow turn themselves back into physical form. I guess they're also data? The fish are really strong with this one. I guess it's because they're under the sea and all.
The Psychos steal the datacards back, and then they fight Ecliptor and blast him repeatedly. Because the Psychos want their own revenge they turn the Rangers back into physical form. Really, Emily Thorne is way better at this revenge thing then they are. There's some more fighting over who gets to destroy the Rangers, and then some more fighting. The Rangers appear to be doing better at fighting the Psychos.
Even though Zhane wasn't with them when they went to the city, he shows up anyway to fight Ecliptor? He finds all the datacards (still not sure what Astronema wanted them for anyway) and then turns people back to normal. (There are far less people then there were cards, for the record).
The Rangers lure all the Psychos to the control room and turn them into datacards. Due to stuff blowing up, the Rangers have to teleport out without the Psychos datacards. This is the end of them. Riiiiiiiiiiight.
They briefly try to convince us that Zhane is hurt, but nobody is buying that. It wasn't even a convincing fake out. And then we find out that of COURSE Astronema still has the datacards.
There was not enough of awesome future ranger Silvy in this episode :(
Fish: FIVE. SO MANY FISH.
Questions: Why did it take so long to transform Cassie compared to everyone else? Seriously, why did Astronema want datacards anwyay? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE?
Episode 290- The Impenetrable Web
Today on Power Rangers, we should have a whole season about Alpha being super awesome. Just saying.
So we start off with Alpha playing three dimensional chess against DECA. Alpha totally wins, but it's super adorable and I now ship Alpha/DECA. Alpha/Ship? YES PLEASE. They intercept a distress signal and immediately rush off to go help.
It's a trap! Because Astronema is there and she has created a web to ensnare the rangers. It's all green and web-like. They are down on the planet when the Megaship gets caught so they somehow lose all their powers? I don't get it, but whatever. Alpha tries to shoot his way out, but it doesn't work. Astronema sends Darkonda down to get the rangers and Ecliptor over to take control of the Megaship. He overpowers Alpha easily, but not before Alpha manages to enable some security measures.
Alpha escapes and hides, with the help of DECA. Because they are AI IN LOVE. It's so cute. I love them so!
Darkonda is boring and gives a bunch of orders and looks for the rangers. There is fighting and it's not at all amusing or interesting. Let's ignore him and get back to Ecliptor, shall we? I really like him. He tries to order DECA around and she's having none of it. Alpha pulls a Home Alone and drops balls on the floor. It's great. Ecliptor is going to reprogram the ship, but Alpha opens the doors to suck him out into space instead. Because clearly Alpha is a genius. It doesn't work, but it was a totally good idea!
Ecliptor heads off to destroy the MegaVoyager instead. Meanwhile, Darkonda has the rangers captured. Cocky Badass Zhane comes to the rescue AGAIN and he is somehow magically not affected by this electronic net because he's still morphed and has all his toys. The fish must REALLY like him. Whatever. He's boring, too. I want more Alpha and DECA versus Ecliptor!
Zhane takes his shiny toys and goes to the MegaVoyager to stop Ecliptor from destroying it. Ecliptor is now red? I don't get it, but okay. There is a boring fight where Zhane momentarily gets his ass handed to him. Andros pulls out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit and goes to break through the web so everybody can morph. He somehow manages it? I don't get it. The fish must have finally broken the net for him. Everybody morphs and pull out all the toys and go fight Red Ecliptor with Zhane. This is boring. This episode should have more Alpha and DECA being badass. Ecliptor apparently uses all his extra power and instead of using the MegaZords to step on him and squish him while he's weak, the rangers go and fight hand to hand instead (and somehow manage to turn him green/black again). I did say this fight made no sense, right?
Ecliptor managed to screw up a lot of shit, though. They've lost most of the toys at this point. Astronema is really happy about this and she totally has a plan.
4.5 fish because seriously, ALLLLLL the fighting (that made no sense). The only thing saving this from a full 5 is how amazingly wonderful Alpha and DECA are.
So we start off with Alpha playing three dimensional chess against DECA. Alpha totally wins, but it's super adorable and I now ship Alpha/DECA. Alpha/Ship? YES PLEASE. They intercept a distress signal and immediately rush off to go help.
It's a trap! Because Astronema is there and she has created a web to ensnare the rangers. It's all green and web-like. They are down on the planet when the Megaship gets caught so they somehow lose all their powers? I don't get it, but whatever. Alpha tries to shoot his way out, but it doesn't work. Astronema sends Darkonda down to get the rangers and Ecliptor over to take control of the Megaship. He overpowers Alpha easily, but not before Alpha manages to enable some security measures.
Alpha escapes and hides, with the help of DECA. Because they are AI IN LOVE. It's so cute. I love them so!
Darkonda is boring and gives a bunch of orders and looks for the rangers. There is fighting and it's not at all amusing or interesting. Let's ignore him and get back to Ecliptor, shall we? I really like him. He tries to order DECA around and she's having none of it. Alpha pulls a Home Alone and drops balls on the floor. It's great. Ecliptor is going to reprogram the ship, but Alpha opens the doors to suck him out into space instead. Because clearly Alpha is a genius. It doesn't work, but it was a totally good idea!
Ecliptor heads off to destroy the MegaVoyager instead. Meanwhile, Darkonda has the rangers captured. Cocky Badass Zhane comes to the rescue AGAIN and he is somehow magically not affected by this electronic net because he's still morphed and has all his toys. The fish must REALLY like him. Whatever. He's boring, too. I want more Alpha and DECA versus Ecliptor!
Zhane takes his shiny toys and goes to the MegaVoyager to stop Ecliptor from destroying it. Ecliptor is now red? I don't get it, but okay. There is a boring fight where Zhane momentarily gets his ass handed to him. Andros pulls out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit and goes to break through the web so everybody can morph. He somehow manages it? I don't get it. The fish must have finally broken the net for him. Everybody morphs and pull out all the toys and go fight Red Ecliptor with Zhane. This is boring. This episode should have more Alpha and DECA being badass. Ecliptor apparently uses all his extra power and instead of using the MegaZords to step on him and squish him while he's weak, the rangers go and fight hand to hand instead (and somehow manage to turn him green/black again). I did say this fight made no sense, right?
Ecliptor managed to screw up a lot of shit, though. They've lost most of the toys at this point. Astronema is really happy about this and she totally has a plan.
4.5 fish because seriously, ALLLLLL the fighting (that made no sense). The only thing saving this from a full 5 is how amazingly wonderful Alpha and DECA are.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Episode 288 - Mission to Secret City
So, the Rangers get some sort of weird readings in the warehouse district, so Andros, TJ, and Cassie go down to investigate. Turns out the Psychos are all ghosts, so they're giving off weird readings, but they're passing right through the rangers. Ghost psychos are good! They should fight the Gobusters when that gets adapted. Please, Saban, please.
Carlos is hanging out with future Ranger Silvy, because we need an inappropriately young friend, and Ashley a) feeds Andros, and b) teaches him to use chopsticks. The others are trying so hard not to laugh. If I didn't dislike Andros/Ashley so much, I would find that adorable. Instead, I will coo at how adorable Carlos is with Silvy, because awwww.
Meanwhile, monster shows up, and starts making people vanish. Bulk tries to threaten him with a toaster (he thinks it's a raygun, okay?) but he gets vanished, along with Carlos, Andros and Silvy. The other Rangers fight the monster, and somehow their suits block his rays or whatever. He heads out, leaving them to go back to the ship and try and figure out what to do.
In alternate dimension land, we get a gratuitous shot of Carlos' ass. I approve. Carlos is so concerned about future Ranger, Silvy! Awwww. Ecliptor and the Quantrons show up and start rounding people up. Carlos and Andros try to morph, but they discover that their powers are useless. Without their morphers, Carlos and Andros get beaten up. (And Andros gets separated from his morpher, which Silvy picks up, because she's smart.)
ALSO, IS THAT CHAINS ON CARLOS'S WRISTS? THIS IS ESSENTIAL TO POINT OUT.
Silvy hands the morpher over to Carlos and is all "yeah, your friend dropped something, and also, I totally figured out he was a Ranger. Because I am the smartest." How much do I love Silvy? SO MUCH.
Meanwhile, the girls and TJ plan to get taken, and they have some sort of special packs which lets them bring in their weapons, but I am slightly distracted because QR and I are horrible and want fic where Silvy grows up to hit on Carlos repeatedly. He is nice and turns her down, so then she has a threesome with Justin and Fred Kelman instead.
Cassie uses the tech that they've brought in to figure out what's jamming the signal, and then we get some more unmorphed fighting. Andros, Carlos and Silvy sneak off, and Silvy promises Andros that she'll keep her mouth shut. Seriously, stop worrying, she already knows about Carlos.
Silvy suggests Andros use a different button on his morpher, but he says it's too dangerous, and instead uses regular mode, which allows him to break the chains on his and Carlos's wrists. I am sad about this. Carlos then gets blasted by a monster, and Andros presses the button again, and his fist glows red. While the fight is going on, TJ and Cassie (and Cassie's glasses are adorable) are disabling the device, but then they nearly get thrown off a building. But TJ is great and he blows that shit up even while they're dangling off the side.
Silvy watches the fight, and since she is the smartest, she hits the button that on Andros's morpher that he said was too dangerous, which gets him the fugly super-muscled battlizer mode (with wings). SILVY IS GREAT AND KNOWS MORE ABOUT THE POWER THEN ANDROS DOES. Andros flies to catch TJ and Cassie, who are like "what." Ashley looks at him and is like "hot." Ashley, honey, I don't even know.
Andros' new toy comes with a shield and some missiles and I'm sure all the tiny children want to buy it or whatever, and since TJ blew stuff up, the others can morph anyway and fight. Andros plays with some more new toys and he fights him from the air, and then blows him up.
Andros thanks Silvy for being great, and she's so smug and adorable. Then the monster grows, and the bigger toys come out to play, and I really am out of interesting ways to describe a zord fight. Toy comes down and kicks the monster a little, and then the monster gets knocked down. Then they blast the monster and then shoot a missile at it. Seriously, that was boring just to type.
Once they beat the monster, Astronema sends them back to their own reality, and Carlos is concerned because SILVY IS STILL THERE. And OH NOES. Because SILVY. She is GREAT. But they shouldn't worry, because Silvy, Bulk and Skull are all in the secret city, and they can handle anything.
Carlos is hanging out with future Ranger Silvy, because we need an inappropriately young friend, and Ashley a) feeds Andros, and b) teaches him to use chopsticks. The others are trying so hard not to laugh. If I didn't dislike Andros/Ashley so much, I would find that adorable. Instead, I will coo at how adorable Carlos is with Silvy, because awwww.
Meanwhile, monster shows up, and starts making people vanish. Bulk tries to threaten him with a toaster (he thinks it's a raygun, okay?) but he gets vanished, along with Carlos, Andros and Silvy. The other Rangers fight the monster, and somehow their suits block his rays or whatever. He heads out, leaving them to go back to the ship and try and figure out what to do.
In alternate dimension land, we get a gratuitous shot of Carlos' ass. I approve. Carlos is so concerned about future Ranger, Silvy! Awwww. Ecliptor and the Quantrons show up and start rounding people up. Carlos and Andros try to morph, but they discover that their powers are useless. Without their morphers, Carlos and Andros get beaten up. (And Andros gets separated from his morpher, which Silvy picks up, because she's smart.)
ALSO, IS THAT CHAINS ON CARLOS'S WRISTS? THIS IS ESSENTIAL TO POINT OUT.
Silvy hands the morpher over to Carlos and is all "yeah, your friend dropped something, and also, I totally figured out he was a Ranger. Because I am the smartest." How much do I love Silvy? SO MUCH.
Meanwhile, the girls and TJ plan to get taken, and they have some sort of special packs which lets them bring in their weapons, but I am slightly distracted because QR and I are horrible and want fic where Silvy grows up to hit on Carlos repeatedly. He is nice and turns her down, so then she has a threesome with Justin and Fred Kelman instead.
Cassie uses the tech that they've brought in to figure out what's jamming the signal, and then we get some more unmorphed fighting. Andros, Carlos and Silvy sneak off, and Silvy promises Andros that she'll keep her mouth shut. Seriously, stop worrying, she already knows about Carlos.
Silvy suggests Andros use a different button on his morpher, but he says it's too dangerous, and instead uses regular mode, which allows him to break the chains on his and Carlos's wrists. I am sad about this. Carlos then gets blasted by a monster, and Andros presses the button again, and his fist glows red. While the fight is going on, TJ and Cassie (and Cassie's glasses are adorable) are disabling the device, but then they nearly get thrown off a building. But TJ is great and he blows that shit up even while they're dangling off the side.
Silvy watches the fight, and since she is the smartest, she hits the button that on Andros's morpher that he said was too dangerous, which gets him the fugly super-muscled battlizer mode (with wings). SILVY IS GREAT AND KNOWS MORE ABOUT THE POWER THEN ANDROS DOES. Andros flies to catch TJ and Cassie, who are like "what." Ashley looks at him and is like "hot." Ashley, honey, I don't even know.
Andros' new toy comes with a shield and some missiles and I'm sure all the tiny children want to buy it or whatever, and since TJ blew stuff up, the others can morph anyway and fight. Andros plays with some more new toys and he fights him from the air, and then blows him up.
Andros thanks Silvy for being great, and she's so smug and adorable. Then the monster grows, and the bigger toys come out to play, and I really am out of interesting ways to describe a zord fight. Toy comes down and kicks the monster a little, and then the monster gets knocked down. Then they blast the monster and then shoot a missile at it. Seriously, that was boring just to type.
Once they beat the monster, Astronema sends them back to their own reality, and Carlos is concerned because SILVY IS STILL THERE. And OH NOES. Because SILVY. She is GREAT. But they shouldn't worry, because Silvy, Bulk and Skull are all in the secret city, and they can handle anything.
Episode 287- Andros and the Stowaway
So we start the episode with a tiny alien that is running from a bigger alien. It mostly looks like Bigger Alien is just playing a game with Tiny Alien, but whatever. They are the fakest aliens I have ever seen. Andros comes across Tiny Alien. He determines Tiny Alien is afraid, scares him out of a tree, and catches him on the way down. Bigger Alien introduces himself, accuses Andros of stealing, and fights ensue. Andros grabs Tiny Alien and the big alien runs away. Andros ensures his safety and the leaves the CLEARLY A BABY to his own devices. Tiny Baby Alien runs after Andros, however.
It sneaks it's way onto the MegaShip and scares Ashley. It's not a very good stowaway. Stowaways are supposed to hide, but whatever. Ashely names him Seymour. Somehow Seymour speaks English and ends up eating ALL THE THINGS. This, of course, gives him a stomach ache. Andros sits by his side all night. DAWWWWW.
Big Alien goes to Astronema to get his Tiny Alien back. He will agree to turn the Power Rangers to stone if she can help him get Tiny Alien back
Andros wakes up at the hospital bed to discover Tiny Alien Seymour is not so tiny any longer. He's as big as Andros now. Bigger Alien has gone down to Angel Grove to draw the rangers to him. Bigger Alien demands Seymour be given back. Ashley notices a resemblance between the two, but everybody ignores her. There is lots of fighting, which Seymour sees.
Back on the ship, Andros is looking for Seymour, but he's nowhere to be found. He's gone down to Earth because he made a mistake. The rangers are his friends now and he knows they're in trouble with Bigger Alien because of him. Bigger Alien finds him, compliments him on how much he's grown, and says Seymour is going with him. Andros comes by in the nick of time and take Seymour away with him. He tries to reassure Seymour and brings him a cookie, which Seymour splits. DAWWWW.
Except then Andros and Bigger Alien have to fight again because he's not going away without Seymour. The other rangers show up and there is a clearly-Sentai-footage battle to be fought. Bigger Alien manages to get a shot in at Andros' feet, turning them to stone, and Seymour steps in to help. Bigger Alien catches him and puts him in a pocket. The Rangers won't leave Seymour, though, and convince him he's strong and can fight the Bigger Alien. Boring battle ensues and this is really about the dumbest episode I think I've ever seen on Power Rangers. Which is saying something, because we did make it through the entirety of Turbo.
They win. Seymour is free to go so they take him home. He meets a girl. IT'S REALLY DUMB, OKAY? I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER ALREADY. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BLEACH FOR MY BRAIN TO ERASE THIS STUPID THING.
5 fish. OMG IT WAS SO BAD.
It sneaks it's way onto the MegaShip and scares Ashley. It's not a very good stowaway. Stowaways are supposed to hide, but whatever. Ashely names him Seymour. Somehow Seymour speaks English and ends up eating ALL THE THINGS. This, of course, gives him a stomach ache. Andros sits by his side all night. DAWWWWW.
Big Alien goes to Astronema to get his Tiny Alien back. He will agree to turn the Power Rangers to stone if she can help him get Tiny Alien back
Andros wakes up at the hospital bed to discover Tiny Alien Seymour is not so tiny any longer. He's as big as Andros now. Bigger Alien has gone down to Angel Grove to draw the rangers to him. Bigger Alien demands Seymour be given back. Ashley notices a resemblance between the two, but everybody ignores her. There is lots of fighting, which Seymour sees.
Back on the ship, Andros is looking for Seymour, but he's nowhere to be found. He's gone down to Earth because he made a mistake. The rangers are his friends now and he knows they're in trouble with Bigger Alien because of him. Bigger Alien finds him, compliments him on how much he's grown, and says Seymour is going with him. Andros comes by in the nick of time and take Seymour away with him. He tries to reassure Seymour and brings him a cookie, which Seymour splits. DAWWWW.
Except then Andros and Bigger Alien have to fight again because he's not going away without Seymour. The other rangers show up and there is a clearly-Sentai-footage battle to be fought. Bigger Alien manages to get a shot in at Andros' feet, turning them to stone, and Seymour steps in to help. Bigger Alien catches him and puts him in a pocket. The Rangers won't leave Seymour, though, and convince him he's strong and can fight the Bigger Alien. Boring battle ensues and this is really about the dumbest episode I think I've ever seen on Power Rangers. Which is saying something, because we did make it through the entirety of Turbo.
They win. Seymour is free to go so they take him home. He meets a girl. IT'S REALLY DUMB, OKAY? I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER ALREADY. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BLEACH FOR MY BRAIN TO ERASE THIS STUPID THING.
5 fish. OMG IT WAS SO BAD.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Episode 286- The Enemy Within
So today, Dark Specter is running out of time. Astronema's plan is working BEAUTIFULLY. She is so awesome.
The Rangers are still trying to find the MegaVoyager. They aren't having much luck. Meanwhile, the Psychos are starting to rebel against Astronema. They want to destroy the rangers and she won't let them yet. The Rangers think they found something and Zhane convinces them it's a trap and he should go in alone. He's such a cocky badass. He's right though. It's totally a trap. Luckily the others listened to him and are sneaking in the back.
The Psychos are kind of dumb, for a change, and don't bother to COUNT the rangers. One ranger controlling one zord. The other five are sneaking in and getting their zords back. Mind, Zhane might be cocky, but he's not that brilliant either because he didn't count the Psychos. Yellow isn't fighting. She's waiting by the zords. Because she booby trapped them and now they won't work for the rangers. DUH. They manage to get them back and combine ("and the penis goes through the hole") only to have Psycho Yellow take control of the zords.
Zhane is caught in his zord and tied up. Again. Yay for more bondage! The rangers are about to get their asses handed to them when Ecliptor pulls Psycho Red back. They have an epic battle (is it possible for Ecliptor to have a battle that isn't epic? I don't think it is). Ecliptor hands him his ass instead, before he runs away and goes back to the ranger battle. He pulls Andros out and they fight. On a tranquil countryside by a small lake with some waterfalls. It's really quite pretty. The fight is kind of boring though. Andros wins, just barely, with the help of Alpha and the Megaship. They break the hold of the virus and Psycho Yellow loses control, letting the rangers have their zords back.
Psycho Red tries to beat them, but Psycho Black stops him. There is infighting. Psycho Red ruins the whole plan. They set Zhane free, unfortunately. He's much better when he's tied up. There is something about energy and absorbing and turning it back on the Psychos and then they destroy the other three psychos and... what the fuck? This is freaking RIDICULOUS. Like, I have no clue what's going on. TSB and I remember this story arch being MUCH better than this.
Astronema nearly had Dark Specter destroyed. She's on her own side, though, and she's still determined to take out everybody and rule everything. Andros, meanwhile, is going to bed when he sees a shadow. Psycho Red is on the ship... except it's not Psycho Red. It's Zhane. In a suit. Who got the shit beaten out of him by Andros for scaring him. Oh Zhane. Not funny.
5 fish. This was just... bad.
The Rangers are still trying to find the MegaVoyager. They aren't having much luck. Meanwhile, the Psychos are starting to rebel against Astronema. They want to destroy the rangers and she won't let them yet. The Rangers think they found something and Zhane convinces them it's a trap and he should go in alone. He's such a cocky badass. He's right though. It's totally a trap. Luckily the others listened to him and are sneaking in the back.
The Psychos are kind of dumb, for a change, and don't bother to COUNT the rangers. One ranger controlling one zord. The other five are sneaking in and getting their zords back. Mind, Zhane might be cocky, but he's not that brilliant either because he didn't count the Psychos. Yellow isn't fighting. She's waiting by the zords. Because she booby trapped them and now they won't work for the rangers. DUH. They manage to get them back and combine ("and the penis goes through the hole") only to have Psycho Yellow take control of the zords.
Zhane is caught in his zord and tied up. Again. Yay for more bondage! The rangers are about to get their asses handed to them when Ecliptor pulls Psycho Red back. They have an epic battle (is it possible for Ecliptor to have a battle that isn't epic? I don't think it is). Ecliptor hands him his ass instead, before he runs away and goes back to the ranger battle. He pulls Andros out and they fight. On a tranquil countryside by a small lake with some waterfalls. It's really quite pretty. The fight is kind of boring though. Andros wins, just barely, with the help of Alpha and the Megaship. They break the hold of the virus and Psycho Yellow loses control, letting the rangers have their zords back.
Psycho Red tries to beat them, but Psycho Black stops him. There is infighting. Psycho Red ruins the whole plan. They set Zhane free, unfortunately. He's much better when he's tied up. There is something about energy and absorbing and turning it back on the Psychos and then they destroy the other three psychos and... what the fuck? This is freaking RIDICULOUS. Like, I have no clue what's going on. TSB and I remember this story arch being MUCH better than this.
Astronema nearly had Dark Specter destroyed. She's on her own side, though, and she's still determined to take out everybody and rule everything. Andros, meanwhile, is going to bed when he sees a shadow. Psycho Red is on the ship... except it's not Psycho Red. It's Zhane. In a suit. Who got the shit beaten out of him by Andros for scaring him. Oh Zhane. Not funny.
5 fish. This was just... bad.
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