Power Rangers Recaps

Episode 305 - Orion Rising

2012-02-11T09:57:00.000-05:00

So, Leo is wrapping presents, and Kendrix is making a cake, because it's Damon's birthday! Awww! They are throwing him a surprise party.

Leo tries to eat the cake, but Kendrix smacks him. They leave, only for Maya to return. She's really hungry, but she soon finds the delicious cake. Which she eats. Because CAKE. (Also, I really love that she's not having body issues at all with this - she's hungry, she eats cake. Compare that to some of the other episodes.)

Kendrix comes back and sees that Maya has eaten allllllllll the cake. Maya is so confused when Kendrix asks her about eating it "why do I need permission to eat?" Kendrix is all "ASK FIRST." There's a giant culture clash and to be fair, neither of them is really in the wrong.

(And Leo and Kai get covered in cake. I guess we're bringing that back.)

So, the monster is placing a forcefield over an already domed city? Sure? But Kendrix and Maya were out grocery shopping (and bickering over the fridge) when they come across it. I also love that they instantly forget their problems when they realize this is a monster thing. (That was a really lackluster morph, you guys. You have no enthusiasm there.)

The two girls are all super awesome and attack and basically, I love them. I am all in favor of this. Of course, then the boys show up on new toys, which apparently the girls don't get? Pfft. Whatever. Of course, the guys can't get into the forcefield, so they have to go and dig under it.

Apparently the monster is draining all the air? Kendrix is all "to save the colony we need to go fix this" but Maya wants to attack the monster first. Kendrix forces them to retreat, but Maya is NOT PLEASED and she runs off to go fight the monster.

I would buy this no air thing a lot more, if a) we didn't see trees moving and b) Kendrix and Maya seem fine.

The boys find that they can't get through because the forcefield extends underground. While that's going on, Kendrix runs into tiny lookalike children who tell her it will be okay because they have each other. And Maya discovers the concept of birthday cakes. Just as she's attacked, Kendrix comes to her rescue. The two girls make up (and later, make out) and they are super adorable. Maya promises when this is over she will help Kendrix make a new cake.

Magna Defender and his swirling cape of awesome show up to break open the force field even though Leo tells him this is a bad idea and it will rip them apart? I... sure. Look, I'm going to vaguely question it, but I don't have anything other than a "that sounds stupid." Of course, it means that they can also summon Zords and fight the Magna Defender, which I am in favor of.

Maya and Kendrix fight the monster on their own. Suddenly, the Magna Defender falls apart and starts clutching his chest and running away. Everyone is confused. Kendrix and Maya figure out that together they are awesome and they team up (again) to destroy the forcefield which instantly returns the air to the city.

The other Rangers show up just in time for them to shoot at the monster. Suddenly, the Fish of Orion show up. The Magna Defender tries to claim them, and also EVERYONE chases after the lights. But they've left Terra Venture (and the fact that they were there at ALL makes no sense.) Then the monster just... leaves. Sure.

At the end, Damon gets his surprise party. Damon is sleepy and exhausted, but he loves his friends, and is super happy that they remembered his birthday. Everyone loves everyone else, and then there's an orgy.

I love that a) this episode was not about either Damon being sad that everyone forgot his birthday or people criticizing Maya for what she eats and b) that nobody was really in the wrong for the fight.

Fish: 4. NO NO. SO YOU PUT A FORCEFIELD AROUND A CITY THAT'S ALREADY IN A DOME? WHAT? Also, the air? Really? THERE ARE PLANTS THERE, HOW WERE THEY DRAINING EVERYTHING? None of this makes any sense.

Covered in food: Cake!

Fic we want: Kendrix/Maya. SO MUCH.

Episode 304- Silent Sleep

2012-02-11T09:04:00.001-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, there are horses! And then more dramatic cape swishing. I approve!

So Maya likes to tend to the horses. I like her. I like horses. She needs help and Damon volunteers Leo, but then Leo backs out so Damon runs away too. Maya is clearly brilliant because she accuses them of being afraid and then they help. Or Leo helps. He's a "cowboy". Although I take offense to that. Not everybody who rides a horse is a cowboy. There are entire disciplines that are older than cowboys and western. Ahem.

Anyway! So Leo is Very Bad at this and falls off. Keep your heels down, son, and grip with your calves, you'll stay on. Unfortunately, in the fall, Mike's dogtags fall off and Leo has a minor heart attack. Damon would have teased him, except he's totally scared of Maya. I love that everybody is afraid of Maya. Because she is awesome.

Later that night, the Chillyfish (who looks more like a mushroom with fringe) shows up on top of a building. He puts everybody to sleep by freezing them... except the animals (but but but... science and all). And the Rangers of course. They somehow managed to stay un-frozen. There is a boring fight and the Chillyfish runs away. Not before blasting Kai, Maya, Damon, and Kendrix... who remain sort of awake but very cold. Leo does what he can with blankets and stuff, but seriously? The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened.

Except on screen all we get is frozen electronic equipment. Nothing has power, for some reason, not even the motorcycles. It makes no sense but does leave for a defenseless spaceship. Trakeena is going to take advantage of this and flirts with a baddie general so she can get off her daddy's bug ship and go after the Fish of Orion. She is clearly the best.

Back on Terra Venture, it is morning! Because somehow there is SUN on a SPACESHIP even without POWER. Did this season just forget they're on a spaceship or something? Leo finds monsters and there is a fight and then general guy sends Trakeena back to the ship. She is clearly not happy about this and he'll pay for that later. Leo does some more fighty stuff and it's super boring.

But then! Then it's sunshine and rainbows and kittnes! Because it's all dramatic, guys! Because Leo realizes somebody else is unfrozen. It's the Super Dramatic Magna Defender! He is fiddling with the Fish, with his super swishy cape, and Leo begs for his help to unfreeze the colony. Super Dramatic MD doesn't give a two shakes about the colony and they are going to fight about it, because Leo has Upstanding Moral Fiber and MD has Super Depressing Angst. Super Dramatic MD's cape is super swishy all the time for what appears to be no reason in this episode. IT IS DELIGHTFUL. Now, we just need that water fountain...

Super Dramatic MD is willing to kill Leo to keep him from getting the lights, but he accidentally shoots the Fish instead and then flies off after them in a swishy dramatic fashion, with dramatic smoke and music. Because he's Super Dramatic.

Leo, after communing with a Tiny Bunny, realizes the animals are unaffected (BUT HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO, SO WTF?) and goes to the horse paddock. He talks very calmly to the dapper bay that threw him earlier, manages to come to an understanding, and gets a bridle on him. He eve does it properly! Good job, Leo. The horse isn't too happy to have Leo on his back, but he must realize the importance of the situation because he quickly adjusts and takes Leo off to wherever he needs to go... jumping the fence in the process, and Leo has really bad jumping posture. He rides to Chillyfish and there is SWORDFIGHTING ON HORSEBACK. SWORDFIGHTING. ON HORSEBACK. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART! This is my favourite thing ever.

Then there is boring not-on-horseback fighting and I don't care so much about it, except Leo totally hurts him, but then Super Dramatic MD with his Dramatically Swishy Cape saves the day by stabbing the hell out of Chillyfish amid Dramatic Music and Smoke. Chillyfish dies and then grows and then we get the Torozord and I REFUSE TO ASK WHERE THE HECK THIS THING CAME FROM BECAUSE ALLLLLLL THE FISH. Super Dramatic Magna Defender wins and then everybody just magically wakes up, body temperatures restored to normal, with no ill effects. Oh show.

Leo confronts Super Dramatic MD. His cape is so delightfully swishy. Dramatic Capes make everything better. They have a heart-to-heart and Leo believes in him even if he doesn't believe in himself and he walks away all slow motion and dramatic and OH I LOVE THIS GUY.

4 fish. It just... yeah. Even dramatic capes and swordfighting on horseback couldn't really save this one.

Fic we want: "The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened." - We demand that fic, like, yesterday.

Episode 303 - The Sunflower Search

2012-02-09T19:57:00.001-05:00

So we start with the Magna Defender having angst! I knew I liked him!

So, apparently his planet was destroyed, and he's calling his awesome zord to fight Scorpius. Unfortunately, Scorpius is using his tiny child as a shield. MD tells the Zord to retreat, and he tries to rescue his kid, who is tiny and adorable. Tiny child tries to fight and help his dad, but Scorpius destroys him. QR had to go and hide during this, and I don't blame her, because TINY CHILD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(((((

Magna Defender swears his revenge. UNDERSTANDABLY. So yeah, his kid was fridged to give him manpain. Tiny child, you should go be friends with Lian Harper, okay?

Scorpius and random villains are plotting something and hating on the defender. Don't care, because Trakeena isn't being awesome.

Meanwhile, Kendrix apparently gave Maya flowers, and the villains listen in on them. Since Maya and Kendrix are talking about how great sunflowers are, they assume that the lights are in the various sunflower statues on Terra Venture? Um? How would they have gotten there? I... sure? Look, I'm just going to point out the giant school of fish there, and be totally confused and then smile and nod.

After the MOTW attacks, the Magna Defender shows up to be awesome. While this is going on, Leo is having a sad about Mike. I'm not really sure where he got Mike's dogtags from? I mean, presumably Mike was wearing them when he got squished? But he goes and joins the other Rangers + MD to attack. The Defender doesn't care at all about civilians and just shoots all the things. MD is all "no, I have my angst, I don't care about anyone else, and nobody else can ever understand my pain." He is totally going for the emoest emo award.

Back in their apartment (and man, I want a Friends style AU really badly) they are all discussing why the Magna Defender has such a sad. Leo is all "revenge, duh" because he is smart.

Somewhere, the monster is attacking again, and a tiny child loses their bear. Poor thing. :( More fighting, and I am finding it hard to care. Magna Defender is a great anti-hero, we get it.

And then the tiny child somehow goes back after the bear, and the monster grabs the tiny child. We get a flashback to Magna Defender's tiny child, and Magna Defender refuses to drop its sword, so Leo stops him, because the risk is too great to the child.

The tiny child is very brave, and with the help of Damon, manages to rescue herself. Good Damon! Brave tiny child!

The monster fails to find the lights of orion, and then it grows, so the fugly zords are summoned. The monster manages to beat them, but the Magna Defender summons its Zord from inside Terra Venture, and I am not going to even TRY to figure out how Torozord got onto the spaceship. Trying to figure it out just gives us a headache. The Magna Defender himself grows and rides on top of the zord, which is pretty cool, I guess.

There's some more fighting, and the Rangers shoot at it from the ground, and Torozord does some more cool tricks and somehow a mountain grows INSIDE the space ship, and there are so many fish involved in this.... anyway, the defender combines with his Zord. This is just a thing that happens, I'm just going to go with it for now. The combination blows up the monster.

Scorpius is pissed off because Torozord is there, and the other villains snipe at each other, and Trakeena is great. Meanwhile, the demorphed Rangers are all "YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES" and we get another flashback to the death of the tiny child. APPARENTLY THEY REALLY LIKE TO SHOW THAT. Leo is all "I know how you feel! But you have to have control or you're as bad as them."

There is so much wrong there, I don't know where to start. First, no, Leo, you don't know exactly how he feels. So shut up. (Second, NO HE IS NOT AS BAD AS THE VILLAINS. NO. He is not going around and DELIBERATELY MURDERING TINY CHILDREN. Third, do we really need to constantly show the death of a tiny child? Ugh, this is one of the reasons I quit reading DC Comics. (Seriously, DC, I am still filled with rage over the death of Lian Harper. STILL.)

Fish: 2. Lots of boring fighting, but angsty backstory! That is something we're a fan of!

Episode 302- The Magna Defender

2012-02-09T18:53:00.001-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, it's Sixth Ranger Time! Wow, that was fast.

So Henchman Guy has found the Fish of Orion. Leo shows up in the cave. There is a fight. It's kind of boring, until the bad guy decides if he can't have the Fish, nobody can, so he BLOWS UP THE CAVE. He hugs Leo and blows up the whole freaking cave. It's kind of epic!

And then a new hero walks out of the smoke carrying now-demorphed Leo. He has horns. He's kind of awesome. Nevermind that he just saved Leo's life. It's all about the horns here.

Later, Leo is in hospital. With Alpha attending him and omg it's so adorable and hot at the same time (more shirtless!Leo please!). Leo wakes up and imagines it was his brother carrying him out of the cave, so Leo takes off. Shirtless! Any episode that starts off with Leo shirtless and horribly traumatized is a good episode in our book. I would totally be happy with a topless Damon and Kai, too, but I'll settle for just Leo.

Leo goes back to the cave and finds somebody mining something in the rocks, but he runs away when Leo calls out to him. Using his Plastic Sword of Swishyness, he breaks apart some rocks and finds what looks like a stone egg. Being smart and trusting his team, he takes it to Kendrix to examine. Because Kendrix is the smartest person on the team and totally knows Things.

On her way to examine the stone egg further, she gets attacked by a squat monster thing who tries to steal the stone egg, which turns out to be the Fish of Orion. The Magna Defender shows up to stop him and Kendrix is able to escape with the Fish. Good teamwork, guys! Except he asks for the fish from her (by holding out his hand) and then all the other rangers attack him. The squat monster thing attacks, Kendrix throws the Fish, and he runs away with it. Magna Defender really does NOT want to talk to them, so he stalks off in dramatic slow motion to dramatic music. With his cape swishing dramatically in the smoke. It's very dramatic, guys.

All the bad guys are now having a Fish of Orion party. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to break that rock open and having NO LUCK. Because the Fish totally aren't ready to come spilling forth from that rock yet. Most of the monsters hide while Big Hammer Guy takes on the rangers. The fight is interrupted by the Magna Defender, though! He comes on the scene in dramatic slow motion with dramatic music. It's all kinds of dramatic.

He's such a badass he totally wins it. He just kind of looks askance at the Sting Wingers and they all fall down. Because they know he'll just beat the crap out of them if they try. Leo keeps seeing his brother in everything the Magna Defender does, but he doesn't want to believe it. Because Mike is supposed to be dead and all. Poor Leo and his dead-brother-angst wishful thinking.

The Magna Defender then beats Hammer Guy with dramatic cape flowing and dramatic jumping and dramatic theme music and super dramatic big explosions. He also manages to split the rock and yet no Fish come pouring out. Because it's a fake! Which means now it's story time! Because 3,000 years ago, the Magna Defender released the Fish of Orion. He ended up trapped in a hole by Scorpius and his minions and now there is going to be an epic battle because he is Dramatic, in case you hadn't noticed.

Squat monster grows and the rangers call out the zords and there is a boring and, frankly, very fugly battle. Let's get back to Super Dramatic and Awesomely Horned Magna Defender, shall we? He's about to end his fight. Without weapons. Because he's just THAT much of a badass. Kai, being super awesome, suggests they work together. Kendrix points out they're working for the same thing and the Magna Defender gets REALLY angry, shoves her away, and says she has no idea what he's fighting for. Which, technically, is true. Leo realizes he's not Mike, logically this time, and has another sad.

3 fish. It wasn't fishy, just terribly dull.

(before anybody gets upset, I know the Magna Defender has a really really good reason for being all dramatic and angry. I would be too, and it's a trigger of mine, which is why TSB explained it in advance and is recapping that episode. I just love all the over-the-top effects)
(also, thank you, Rev, for remembering I have that particular trigger and giving the heads up that we are at that point)

Episode 301- The Blue Crush

2012-02-01T20:44:00.000-05:00

It's a Kai episode! I really like Kai.

And he gets a special assignment! Because he's awesome! Basically he gets handed the Commander's daughter and told to take her skating. Because the Commander is a jerk who can't be bothered to spend quality time with his own daughter. Crap dad.

But it means we get Kai with Tiny Child! First Damon with Tiny Child and now Kai? The only thing that would make this better would be if The Doctor showed up and held a baby. Kai is not very steady on skates. Tiny Child is pretty good. He even gets video of her being pretty good. DAWWWWWW.

Trakena wants a social life. I can't blame her. I wouldn't want to be stuck inside a big flying bug ship for eternity either. How boring. They are still looking for the Fish of Orion. Somehow it is buried in the soil of the ship. I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO THIS NOW.

So back to Tiny Child and Kai. Kai spies a pretty lady with the camera. He focuses more on her than Tiny Child and is adorably awkward on skates. He kind of fails at this babysitting thing. Plus I'm totally not buying the crush-on-a-girl thing. But he's cute, so I'll forgive it. He gets distracted by his communicator and goes over a wall. It's also cute! He has to ask Pretty Lady to watch Jody, since he has super secret ranger things to do.

There is bug/ranger fighting and it's boring. I really just want to get back to Awkward Kai and Tiny Child at the skating rink. Bug Monster Thing put stuff in the soil and then ran away. Kai rushes back to the skating rink, not paying attention to the soil. He then LIES to Jody and ignores her while watching the girl and enters ballet dream sequence. Really? BALLET DREAM SEQUENCE, KAI?. Kai, you FAIL.

Later, Jody hangs out with the other rangers to watch her video. Everyone is excited and complimentary until Kai starts filming the pretty girl and ignoring Jody. Poor Jody. He then makes really bad pancakes. Everybody knows it's because of the girl. Kai is totally letting down his Inappropriately Young Friend. Bad Kai, no cookie. The Commander comes to pick up Jody and again, worst father ever.

Kendrix tells Kai all about Hannah, the girl, and then dashes all hope by telling him it's a big colony and he'll never see her again. Really? It's not that big. And then he totally sees her and makes a jackass of himself with mustard and a water fountain. She thinks it's cute though. She doesn't know he's got a boyfriend already, poor thing.

Meanwhile, Big Bad calls forth the things that got put in the soil earlier. It causes earthquakes. EARTHQUAKES. ON A SPACE STATION. *sigh* Rangers attack. Stingwingers attack. It's boring. Kai is totally dragging Hannah away when she sees a guy in a car and starts screaming for him, then explains something about the wedding and a dress, and Kai goes to rescue the guy. And he manages to save the dress. Because he's Kai and he's a badass, even in the face of exploding cars and impending heartache. OH HIS LITTLE FACE WHEN HE HANDS HER THE DRESS. DEAR G-D IN HEAVEN ARCHIE KAO JUST BROKE MY HEART WITH THAT EXPRESSION. I just want to bake him cookies, pet his hair, and tell him everything will be okay.

Then he goes and does Badass things to the bad guy. Because Kai is super awesome. They totally win because of him. Because he's Kai. Big Bad Bug Guy isn't happy and his henchman escapes, because Big Bad Bug Guy was totally about to blow him up. Henchman finds the Fish of Orion.

On the ship, Kai has a sad and won't eat. Damon is upset because Kai is the only one who can cook. Damon is full of hilarious quips and DAMON I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE WITH EACH PASSING EPISODE. Inappropriately Young Friend Jody knows Kai has a sad and brings him a present from Hannah. Because she is Tiny and Adorable. Kai discovers Hannah was a beautiful bridesmaid at her sister's wedding and Kai is no longer sad, because he has cake! DAW.

4.5 fish. Kai having a sad is the only thing keeping it from being 5 fish, and that's only because Archie Kao is great at the facial expressions.

Episode 300 - Double Duty

2012-02-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

Happy 300th episode! We come back to you after a long delay (real life once again rears its ugly head) and I wasn't able to recap until now. But now we are back, and we are recapping episode 300, which is about Kendrix!

.... Oh no, it's this episode.

Kendrix and Kai are sparring, and it is SUPER GREAT and she beats him. I love that they're training and they work on it. Kendrix is very proud that she beat him, and Kai is all "I have things to do today" and Kendrix is like "and you're tired of hitting the mat" which is also true. I love that he admits it.

So then we find out that Kendrix seems to have a(n evil) twin who is a movie star. Carolyn. She is all bitchy and self centered and blows off her responsibilities to go shopping. Um... quick question. Why is there a movie star on Terra Venture? I'm going to assume it's partially because of what missmollyetc said in the comments of an earlier recap, about wanting something familiar, but... really? I mean, yes, entertainment is necessary for a long trip, but you would think that a prima donna would not be on the list.

Scorpius is yelling at Furio again. Apparently they think the lights are hidden in a camera? Sure. That makes just as much sense as anything else.

Back on Terra Venture, they're doing photography of Carolyn, who is being incredibly whiny. Look, I can buy the movies being necessary, but photoshoots? This is really the best use of Terra Venture resources?

The Wise Wizard shows up to inspect the camera, but the Rangers show up, and Kendrix falls down and is shot in the leg or something. Carolyn fakes being injured so she can relax and have some time off. Carolyn's agent is all "hey, you can double for Carolyn until her ankle is better."

Kendrix agrees to help out, because it's not like she doesn't have other responsibilities on the ship, and as a Ranger, and also, she doesn't act. Carolyn continues to be a giant pain in the ass and whine and go shopping and bitch about fans.

Kendrix does a scene and ends up screwing up a lot of things. Which, as mentioned, she is not an actress. Why is Carolyn even willing to share the credit with her? I mean, is Carolyn going to give her co-star role in the movie? Nothing about this makes sense.

Kendrix's leg is still really bothering her, and Carolyn feels guilty, and she tells Kendrix to quit. Kendrix is all "Nope, I don't care that I'm injured, I'm going to do this because I promised." And like, while that is partially a moral I can get behind? If you are injured or sick you are allowed to rest. (Yes, yes, I am aware of the actress's real life health issues, which just make the moral of this episode even more ridiculous.)

They do take after take of Kendrix climbing up a hill, and nobody seems to notice that she's hurt. They are all morons. But Kendrix is determined and won't give up. So she very dramatically slow mo climbs up the hill, even though she is holding her leg in pain, and Carolyn is whispering for her to just quit. But she does the shot and everyone tells her she's wonderful, and Carolyn the bitchy actress is learning her lesson, or something.

Look, the moral of keeping a promise is important, but INJURING YOURSELF OVER THIS? REALLY? NO. When it is physically or emotionally damaging? Or hurting yourself or someone else? You don't keep that promise then.

So then a monster attacks, and Kendrix attacks it. Carolyn also comes to help and the two stand together. The rest of the Rangers finally show up to help, and Kendrix runs off to morph as well, even though she's still hurt.

The Rangers get trapped by kanji symbols and Kendrix comes running in. She totally gets to save the day, using her weapon to destroy its kanji, so she recovers and the others are freed. There's some more fighting, and Kendrix continues to take on the monster singlehandedly. Because she is GREAT. The five of them use some missile launcher things to destroy the monster, which promptly grows. They summon the fugly zords and blow up the monster by shooting a missile at it.

Back in their shared quarters, Kendrix is reading some lines, and they see Carolyn win some award. Carolyn dedicates the award to Kendrix, and really, if its for the movie that Kendrix did half the acting in, she should be GETTING the award.

Fish: 5, just because of the rage inducing moral. Hard work is good, keeping promises is good, hurting yourself to do so is NOT.

Fic we want: So, Kendrix likes to roleplay?

Episode 299 - The Lights of Orion

2012-01-21T11:08:00.000-05:00

OH LOOK, TIME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT TERRA VENTURE GEOGRAPHY. And how it makes no sense. This is probably the right time to do it. Why would they design a ship in that way? Why so much wasted space? Why did they design a city in a bottle? Why is there a forest dome and a mountain dome? HOW DO THEY INTEND TO LAND THE SHIP? What about this makes ANY SENSE AT ALL. I mean. Really. How did they recreate the ecosystems? Why is there dirt? HOW CAN THEY HAVE EARTHQUAKES? How do monsters keep getting onto the floating city? What's the point of all this? And I want the Watsonian reason, not the Doylist "well, Gingaman took place in a forest, and they were using the sentai footage" reason.

Nothing about it makes ANY SENSE. And that isn't even getting into the Fish of Orion, which I got the pleasure of recapping, because QR wanted to write about Damon O'Brien and his inappropriately young friend, Future Ranger Matthew.

So. Furio is wandering about when he runs into Trakeena. She is posing ridiculously and is all "Your time has run out" and he tries to convince her that he can bring them the Fish of Orion. He also bribed her with something shiny. She agrees eventually, and then he tries to get into some cave, but he fails. They need someone else to get them into the cave. I am totally nominating Trakeena to the League of Female Baddies, where she can hang out with Astronema and Scorpina and take over the universe or something.

So Kendrix and Maya are exploring something on Terra Venture and they get attacked by Stingwingers. Trakeena and Furio show up and grab them, but then the boys show up on new bikes. Why do the boys have to come to the rescue? Couldn't the girls have gotten away on their own? Why don't the girls get shiny new toys?

Anyway, then Trakeena and Furio show off a box, and inside it they have Mike's body. Leo has SO MUCH ANGST about his brother. The villains head off, taking the box with him, and Leo forgets about EVERYTHING ELSE to go after his brother's body, because ANGST. He is SO that type of Red. He finds the abandoned box somewhere (we're not even touching why Trakeena has a jeep) but the box is empty. And then he sees Mike tied to a tree. DUN DUN DUN.

Maya tells Damon to go be the decoy and he is SO GRUMPY about it. "Hope no one attacks me!" he yells and then makes them all chase him. He hates being the decoy and I love him SO MUCH. Of course, he leads them straight to the others because he is AMAZING. Seriously, every character on this is so great.

Leo unchains his brother who is all tied to a tree and they hug. Mike has such lovely floppy hair. Mike is all "can't explain how I'm not dead, we need the Lights of Orion." They're a powerful source of energy and they've been stuck in a cave for eons. A cave on Terra Venture.

UM. UM UM. WHAT. See my earlier rant on the geography because REALLY? DID THEY JUST CARVE OUT A WHOLE CHUNK OF THE EARTH AND PUT IT ON A SPACESHIP? LIKE. REALLY?

So Leo opens up the cave ruins thing and climbs through. There's a treasure chest inside a cage, and he opens it up to find a smaller box. Mike hits him on the head and takes the small box, leaving Leo to lay on the cave floor and have a sad.

The Rangers are all "MIKE BETRAYED US" but Kendrix is all "Mike would never betray us" and then oh, really? THE SUPPOSEDLY DEAD GUY IS ACTUALLY A MONSTER. They are SO NOT SMART. Really, Rangers need to send out a handbook to new teams or something.

There's a fight and Maya manages to get the box of fish away from them. Leo has a very angry sad, and a flashback to Mike's death and that gives him the RAAAAAAAAAAGE he needs to fight the monster who impersonated his brother. And really, if they were at all smart they wouldn't have revealed fake!Mike yet, but let him be a traitor inside for a few episodes.

Furio manages to get the box back, but they form the starfish formation. Then the monster grows and they summon the ugly zords. Leo attacks Furio while the others are piloting the Zords. They shoot the Condor at the monster and it blows up.

Leo manages to get the fish away from Furio, but Furio opens the box. Only to find out that the box is empty. Trakeena is so pissed at Furio because the box is empty. They get away. Scorpius yells at Furio, and is all "nope, done with you, once and for all." Trakeena decides to give Furio one last chance for some unknown reason, and I'm assuming it's because they're dating.

Back on the ship, Kai is making cookies! BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST. Damon keeps trying to sneak cookie dough, because HE is the best. And Kai is totally adorable all covered with flour. Seriously, the five of them are SO DOMESTIC AND I LOVE THEM.

Maya asks why you can't eat cookie dough, and Damon and Kai argue over whether the dough or the cookies are better.

Meanwhile, Kendrix is comforting Leo, because he still has a sad. He comes back and asks for some cookie dough, but Maya has apparently taken Kai's side in the argument and tells him that he can't eat it until it's cooked.

And then there's an orgy.

Fish: FIVE. THIS WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE IF THEY WERE NOT ON A SPACE SHIP.

Episode 298- Homesick

2012-01-21T10:12:00.000-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, I get to use the inappropriately young friends tag again! I love that tag.

So we start off with what looks sinister. There is somebody hiding and watching people. Mind, this view of the camera is at adult head height. Sneaky Person wears gloves and breaks into the empty control center of the ship. S/he manages to stop the engines. Systems have been jammed. This person is really good AND Terra Venture's security SUCKS. Kai and a group of Starship Troopers can't seem to get in. Damon, however, proves how awesome he is and opens the door in two seconds. Inside they find a Small Ginger Child. Who managed to avoid security, break into what should have been a heavily guarded room, hack into the ships systems, lock everybody out, and turn off the engines. Quick, somebody get this kid a job STAT.

Dirty Small Child is in for questioning. Ship Commander Whatshisname is surprised. Who wouldn't be? This kid isn't Justin. But maybe he'll be a future ranger with Silvy and Fred. Dirty Small Child is snotty and uncooperative and also apparently named Matthew. Damon tries to make a connection and points out the kid probably doesn't have identity cards. Kid totally talks to Damon. Because Damon is THE BEST. He admits to Damon that he was a stowaway and he just wants to go home.

His mother gets on communications and is very worried. She's upset, and who can blame her? Her son has been missing for quite a long time now and she finally finds out it's because he snuck on board a ship to go to space? Yeah, I'd be pissed, too. She points out she'll never see him again. My heart? Just broke into a million little pieces.

Damon takes Matthew, now clean and adorably ginger, out in the field to teach him how to do Useful Things on the station. He bonds over missing his family. They handle dangerous chemicals. Damon is the best big brother. It's adorable. But then Damon has to leave Matthew to deal with dangerous chemicals because a monster is attacking.

Gas is knocking everybody out and Matthew proves to be smarter than all the adults, because he not only runs away from it, but manages to hide and figure out what's going on with the monsters. His suit rips (not much use if they tear THAT easily), but he is brave and continues to try to get to both safety and a position to help. Clearly he will be a future power ranger.

He locks himself in the control room, stops the elevator with the monster, sounds the alarm, and then finally succumbs to the gas and passes out. Seriously, why is this kid not in charge of ALL the things?

Alpha tells the rangers how to get to the command tower so they can go help Matthew, because he and DECA have built little tiny space ships. Because they are awesome. There is a nonsensical space battle and somehow the rangers make it back into the city. I'm going to pretend there is some kind of easily accessible bubble or something. Everybody is knocked out, except the rangers, and Damon manages to get a few words out of Matthew... who is somehow less unconscious than everybody else.

Fugly Zords come out and they are not affected by the gas? They suck it up and manage to clean the air? Then they turn to stone and there are explosions and then they're more powerful? I... don't understand this part. The Sentai splicing is really bad. Somehow they go from living creatures to slightly less odd looking mechanical zords. Whatever. They're still ugly. And the dimensions make no sense when they form the Megazord.

Everyone saved now, the Commander gives a medal to Matthew. Who is smarter than all of them. He's sad and still misses his mom, which makes me want to bake him cookies. He goes off to do more Useful Work when the Power Rangers show up to congratulate him and call him a hero. They take him home. HOME! The Rangers take him back to Earth! Because they are awesome.

If he were my kid, I'd hang the medal on the wall and then ground him for a year.

2 fish. This was a good episode! The zords are... special... but I liked Future Ranger Matthew.

Episode 297 - Rookie in Red

2012-01-19T20:28:00.000-05:00

So, I ship Leo/Kai a lot, have I mentioned that? Because while I stand by my "this series is pretty much an OT5 where Maya teaches them about polyamory" comments, I really ship Leo/Kai. They have an amazing dynamic.

So I am very pleased about recapping this episode, in case you couldn't tell.

So Leo is narrating the events of earlier episodes (um, this is only episode four. Really? Flashbacks ALREADY?) and i would like this sequence a lot better if he was unmorphed. But Leo has a ton of angst about his dead brother, which I approve of, and then he tosses his saber. I just. This is the sort of angst I love. Andros = not my type. Leo = TOTALLY IS.

So Furio shows up and attacks Leo and is all taunting him, and Leo AGAIN drops his sword. He is really bad at this. Of course, they then get interrupted when there's some random noise in the background, and Leo has more angst about not letting Mike down.

Trakeena is being her badass self and mocking Furio for being a failure, when her father demands to know what's up with him. She covers for Furio who goes off to have another plan, and says he knows her. Furio meets up with some other monster guy who has something called the transdaggers, that are apparently powerful.

Back on Terra Venture, the Commander introduces Leo as a new recruit, and um, how are they explaining Leo being there? How are we explaining Mike being dead? But anyway, Leo apparently scored really highly on the test, but he is an adorable failbot while Kai is all "rules and regulations" and "this is how you do it by the book" and basically being super adorable while Leo is constantly getting Kai in trouble by eating in command and then forgetting to lock the doors and basically being a failbot.

Kai is all flipping out about how Leo has no disciplined, but Kendrix is like "dude, you like him, and also you're jealous of how awesome he is" but Kai denies it.

It starts to pour and it turns out that Leo had just decided that it would be fun to make it rain. They find out about the security breach because of Leo being a failbot, and Kai is totally pissed, because all the weapons have been stolen. Kai is correct in that this is all Leo's fault, although Kai, if you are training him, you should also check up on him. (I am firmly on Team Kai in this fight, although I feel they should solve their issues by making out.)

Leo runs out to try and solve the problem himself, while Kai gets the others for backup. Kai is all "no no, I will handle it" and the Rangers all pose dramatically before running in to fight. The five of them pull their sabers and the monster manages to steal four of them. Only Leo has his, and since the monster can't pull the saber out of his hands, it just takes Leo as well.

In the quarters that the five of them apparently share, Kai is being the EMOEST EMO and I love him so much. Seriously, it is so over the top and AMAZING. He heads off to try and find Leo and the others follow him.

Somewhere on the ship, Furio is trying to destroy the sabers now while Leo is all tied up. I approve of THAT. The saber apparently lets Leo go somehow because some fish guided it perfectly and Leo escapes with all the sabers. He runs into the monster and manages to lose the sabers AGAIN (seriously, how is he so bad at this?) and Furio dumps them into the lava, apparently destroying them, along with the transdaggers.

Except. Apparently Leo switched the sabers with some fakes. Also, they apparently knew all about the transdaggers and that was a plot to find out about those too? But anyway, now they have the sabers and the daggers and the daggers can turn into other cool weapons or whatever.

They show off the new weapons and the sabers some more and then combine the daggers into a formation to make them shoot stars at the monster. The monster grows and the fugly lion is summoned (and I'm still not really sure how it's hidden on a space ship, and we'll probably point that out at least a few more times) and then the lion destroys it.

Leo finds out that Kai said nice things about him in his review, but Leo quits because a) he thinks Kai is the best and b) because he's bad at keeping a schedule. So many points to Leo for knowing what his strengths are and bowing out before he gets in way too far, although now I'm not really sure what he's contributing to the colony, and seriously, how are they explaining him being there?

Kai apologizes to Leo for being too hard on him, and Leo apologizes for being too hard to train, and the Kai mocks him for being impossible. Leo smirks and is all "bet you I'll never be late for duty again" which Kai eagerly accepts, before finding out that Leo just resigned.

Then they make out.

Fish: Four. We... may have to revise the fish scale, because I remember this season being COMPLETELY INSANE.

Fic we want: Leo/Kai. Just assume that I am requesting that in every recap, okay? Also, if someone wants to write something explaining how they explained Leo being on the ship, or how the fugly zord is buried in the ship, go right ahead.

Episode 296- Race to the Rescue

2012-01-19T19:37:00.001-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, we start the episode off with CHAINS! YES! I like chains. This could be good. There are also red glowing eyes and henchmen running around doing their thing, but I'm all about the chains.

On Terra Venture, Leo is spraying the plants with something. Maya wanders around entering information on a Pre-iPad. She's suddenly telepathic. She knows somebody is in trouble. Dunno who and dunno what or why or anything. Just... how is she suddenly telepathic? Whatever, I'm going to go with it, because I know nothing about this season.

Leo and Maya convince Damon they need to go rescue whatever is in trouble. They have to use the Megaship, which Young Hot Not!Miles O'Brien insists isn't ready. Except it totally is because Damon can make anything work with bubble gum, duct tape, and a flashy blinky light. Kai is concerned about procedures and doesn't want to let them go. Leo ignores him. So it's going to be THAT kind of relationship. I'm okay with that. Maya points out the obvious and is vaguely telepathic again. She clearly needs to have dessert with Deanna.

They find the things in trouble and Maya rushes in to help. She just orders the boys around and I adore it. Damon wants more of a plan, because clearly he is the smart one this season, but they rush in anyway. The chains are as big as Leo's head. I LOVE THIS. Maya does jungle girl stuff and distracts the bad guys. The big monster thing is a big red Elvis lobster. No, really. I... don't even know what to say about that other than it's awful. His sword kind of looks like a big penis? That's kind of neat?

Suddenly Kai and Kendrix are there! Somehow! That is not explained! There is fighting. They are somehow going to cut the chains. Y'know, the ones AS BIG AS LEO'S HEAD. That magically cut super easily, as if made of butter and Maya's sword is a hot knife. Door swing open and out come five creatures. They are colour coded for the rangers. Gee, I wonder what they could be? Could they be the super ugly zords? Surely not! Or, y'know, this show really is THAT predictable.

Damon, once again proving to be the smart one, wonders if they'll be eaten. Maya is all telepathically carrying on a conversation and says they won't eat the Rangers (except they totally would) and they are grateful for being rescued.

Meanwhile, the big bad is a bed ridden tick looking bug thing. It's gross and weird and tentacle-y. It orders a general to go destroy the rangers. As if it would be that easy. It approaches Terra Ventura which calls an "alien ship warning". Makes sense. This leads the Starship Troopers to come out of hiding and start firing weapons willy nilly. Since the rangers aren't back yet and all. Because Kai and Leo are fighting over who gets to control the ship. Damon just shoves them out of the way, because he is the best and should always drive.

They make it back to the station and attack weird Lobster Elvis. It is boring. Leo takes him on one-on-one. It is still boring. Then he grows and they don't know what to do because they don't have zords, except they totally do! Duh! They just rescued five colour coded beasts. Clearly their brains took a holiday during this fight. Because they are AMAZED to see the fish let the five creatures into the space station and now they are defending them. Really guys?

These are some seriously ugly zords. The only one I kind of like is the red lion. But the pink thing? Looks like a traumatized kitten left in a gutter and covered in mange. The green thing looks like his scales are falling off. The blue ape thing? Just looks... weird. The yellow... I don't even know what it's supposed to BE. The red lion tells Leo to jump on so they can fight together. They win. Are we surprised? No, of course not.

Weird Big Bad Bug Guy has a human/bug hybrid daughter. She is... I have no clue.

Leo can't find the queen in a deck of cards in which he and Damon are playing, and now he has to do the dishes because Damon is brilliant. Maya misses her home planet and Kendrix comforts her. It is adorable and clearly needs to happen more often. Leo then pulls the queen out of Damon's ear and makes him do the dishes. Poor Damon. Leo challenges Kai. Kai is going to wipe the floor with him. Or something.

4 fish.

Episode 295 - Quasar Quest - Part 2

2012-01-11T20:33:00.001-05:00

Okay, since I traditionally do the theme song and fashion discussions, I guess I should start with those.

1-The theme song is freaking great. It is such an earworm, and I'm actually looking forward to having it stuck in my head for the next few months. And I really like that it's so different from the PRiS theme.

2-AHAHAHA WHERE DO I START. So yeah. Charlie Brown. So much Charlie Brown. Those things are hideous and there's way too much white and they don't entirely feel like Power Rangers costumes.

3-The "civilian" costumes, or the Terra Venture uniforms or whatever. They're also hideous. They're like Star Trek: The Original Series, and NOT IN A GOOD WAY. And this is coming from someone who loves TOS. They just look super cheap and ridiculous.

4-Speaking of Terra venture related things, the design of the ship makes no sense. We're going to have to change the tag from "Angel Grove geography makes no sense" to "Power Rangers geography makes no sense."

And now that we have all that out of the way we can talk about the episode.

So! Previously on Power Rangers ~~without Zordon~~ ~~Star Ship Troopers~~ Lost Galaxy, somehow a bunch of not-teens can all breathe the atmosphere (possibly because they're on the blue area of the moon.) It's been 22 minutes, and we haven't seen Power Rangers yet at all

Kai abandons his potential boyfriend to head back to the ship, and Kendrix interrogates Mike about not telling her that he had a sibling. Mike is all "I just want to make sure he's okay!" If that's true, Mike, then why do you want to leave him behind on Earth.

Speaking of leaving people behind, apparently nobody noticed that they left people behind on the moon, and Kai is sulking about it. Luckily, he finds a poster for the AstroMegaship museum (and I want all the fic about how that came into being) and he has a plan.

DECA and Alpha are narrating about the history of the Power Rangers, and then Kai kicks everyone out of the museum and somehow convinces Alpha that the ship is being recommissioned. Damon the awesome mechanic is like "you want to fly this thing out of here? WHAT." He totally calls Kai on his bullshit, and since Kai is a bad liar, he instead tells them the truth and is all determined to save his friends. Kai tries to convince Damon to fly the Megaship out, and Damon ignores them. Kai totally fails at flying this thing, but luckily Damon (aka Miles O'Brien) shows up to help anyway and he knows what he's doing, because Damon is THE BEST. Seriously, I love him. Anyway, they fly through the portal.

I am also super jealous of the tiny children who have Megaship toys. Speaking of museum related things - yeah, timeskip issue. I know that this was originally intended to be a few years after PRiS, but since that didn't really work... yeah. No idea how this timeline makes sense at ALL.

On Mirinoi, Mike is still pissed that Leo followed him, and the villain is all threatening the citizens of Mirinoi. Maya and her new boyfriends/girlfriend show up, and the six of them fight the foot soldiers. Why they're all fighting hand to hand when they have guns we're not sure, but.. power Rangers.

Anyway, Mike gets knocked back and he grabs a sword from the stone, and then everyone except for Leo also grabs a sword. Super dramatic posing time! Maya is all excited that they've been chosen, and Leo is all "wait, what?"

Villain guy then gets pissed and turns the planet to stone, and with it all the people. Seriously, they're trying to outrun the stone.. Villain guy then creates an earthquake and the ground cracks and Mike falls down the hole. Leo is all "give me your hand!" but instead Mike hands him the saber. Mike tells Leo that he's proud of him and that he can do it and then he FUCKING LETS GO. What is this bullshit. And once he lets go, the ground freaking swallows him. Everyone yells Mike's name, even Damon, and as far as we know Damon has never met Mike before!

Furio mocks Leo's pain, and that somehow unlocks the knowledge of how they should all be Power Rangers, so it's morphin time! Or Go Galactic, or whatever.

I will just say that I love how Kendrix is totally still wearing her glasses under her helmet.

The villain is all "silly costumes won't help" and that's right, they are silly. As is the wacky stylized running or whatever. Although I do love that they all have swords and we get a ton of sword fighting. That was totally lacking in the last few seasons. And the sword totally makes things explode, and I'm in favor of that.

The Galaxy Rangers have to run away from the stone that is eating the planet, so they just ignore the stingwingers and run. Our heroes, everyone. Once back on the Megaship, Alpha is like "POWER RANGERS, WHAT?" and he is so excited to have more Rangers. Aww, Alpha! It IS too good to be true! <3

The Rangers head back to Terra Venture as Maya's planet completely turns to stone. They just manage to make it through the portal and you know somewhere Andros is screaming "WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY SHIP?"

Maya fills the other Rangers in on the history that we heard last episode, and everyone is excited, except for Leo, who will have a sad for a while. Somehow, nobody on Terra Venture seems to acknowledge that the Megaship is there, or that Mike is gone, or that Leo and Maya are aboard now. Terra Venture heads out and they go start their quest to find a new world. And somewhere else, Furio is being yelled at by Scorpius, so expect me to make a million Farscape jokes, okay?

Fish: 4! It's a pretty compelling start to the season, but there are too many questions!

Questions: How did Kai and Damon find a new portal? How come Mike freaking LET GO. Why did Mike keep changing his opinions on Leo? How are they so not dealing with Mike vanishing and Leo/Maya joining the ship?

Episode 294- Quasar Quest Part 1

2012-01-11T20:24:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! It's a Power Rangers I am NOT familiar with! Finally! Try not to spoil me too much, okay? And forgive my mistakes or genuine surprise. I've only seen two or three episodes of Lost Galaxy and I only have fuzzy, vague memories of snippets.

So we start off with what looks like a promising start! It's all science-fiction like! With spaceships and space stations and space colonies and this is a thing of wonderment! This is like all my dreams come true! Space! SPPPAAAACCCEEEEEEE.

And then an old dude standing in front of Excalibur on crack... 5 swords in a rock (quasar sabers, apparently). Nobody can lift them out. Because they are not the chosen ones meant to bring peace and prosperity to ~~pre-medieval Great Britain~~ the universe, duh. Except one of the girls in the audience totally is because we keep getting flashes of her reaction to the people failing at getting the swords. They basically beat you over the head with it.

Bad Dude comes and messes crap up. People run, there is smoke and fire, things are scary. And then he fails at pulling out the sword. Dude, you are not Arthur. Deal with it and move on. You'll be much happier if you do. But I suspect he won't. Seeing as he's clearly a bad guy and all.

Next we're on a space station! SPACE STATION! With a CITY IN SPACE! Sort-of military dudes are looking for new planets (one of them is broody... I sort of remember this part). Science lady is adorable with her hybrid plants. Moody!Military guy is emo about leaving Earth and going far far away. Meanwhile, on Earth, people are scrambling to try to get onto this space station. SPAAAACCCCEEEEE! Bulk and the Professor are there. They have forgotten Skull, however, horrible friends that they are.

We meet Future Red Ranger, clear to the audience by his RED VELVETY SHIRT and good natured yet slightly bad boy behaviour. He helps an old lady, guys, from some "street folk" who want her passport onto the station. Yeah, totally the red ranger. Old Lady is sad Future Red Ranger wasn't picked for the SUPER AWESOME SPACE COLONY. So Future Red Ranger sneaks on board anyway. Because he's THAT kind of guy (and omg I love him already).

Future Red Ranger is in awe of Terra Venture. He doesn't even get past the escalator before he gets caught. So he runs and knocks over Adorable Science Girl, who will clearly be the pink ranger because she's wearing pink. Future Blue is there and all "Don't flirt with her; you're totally mine in future episodes". So Leo (I don't think they've said his name yet, but whatever, we're 15 minutes in) runs off, manages to steal and put on a Starship Troopers uniform, and then gets pulled into a bunch of troops going on a moon drill. Worst. Security. EVER.

He saves Kendrix, Future Pink of Adorableness, from a bomb on the moon. And somehow they can breathe? But there is no atmosphere... I don't get it. Space doesn't work that way. Kai goes batshit on him and then we finally hear Leo's name, because his big brother is there. There is family drama, but then First Future Ranger comes through a wormhole and things are really weird. Then some bug looking things come through the wormhole, attack, and then go back from whence they came.

AND THEN THEY FOLLOW! BECAUSE MAYA'S HOME IS IN DANGER! AND THEY ARE TOTALLY THE CHOSEN ONES WHO WILL BE THE POWER RANGERS! Except Kai who fails at reining in his Red Ranger. He gets left behind. But he's Future Blue so it's okay.

4 fish. Science really really REALLY does not work like that.

Episode 293- Countdown to Destruction Part 2

2012-01-07T11:32:00.000-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, things are BLEAK. And then they are totally awesome.

So everybody has been captured and people are being led away and others are just kind of gathering together. Astronema comes down and informs them the rest of the universe has surrendered. She now rules EVERYTHING. She is seriously the BEST EVER at everything. The rangers aren't coming, they failed, and the rangers are hiding among them. She wants them by the following morning. Her ultimatum? It's the rangers or the whole planet is destroyed.

People actually argue this. Nobody knows who they are, but nobody knows why they aren't helping either. Then Bulk is AMAZING. He stands up and gives everybody hope... because the rangers have never let them down before. They'll be there. Bulk, how are you so awesome?

The rangers have gathered around a small file. They don't know what to do when Zhane comes stumbling up. He just barely escaped and he confirms the rest of the universe really did cave. They need a plan. Andros wants to go talk to Karone. The others try to talk him out of it, so he tries to sneak away instead. It's the only way to save everybody, even if it means losing himself and his own life. Ashley catches him, but decides to let him go. There is a tearful goodbye.

The following morning, Astronema accuses the rangers of sacrificing the whole planet because they didn't show up. She asks for the rangers one last time, but nobody will give them up. She's about to destroy everything when BULK STEPS UP AND SAYS HE'S THE BLUE RANGER! AND THEN SKULL IS THE BLACK RANGER! AND WE GET A PINK RANGER AND A SILVER RANGER AND YELLOW RANGER AND RED RANGER AND THEN EVERYBODY IS A RANGER AND OMG IT IS SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE THIS EPISODE! Citizens of Angel Grove, you win everything. Astronema is going to destroy them all, but the rangers stop her. Carlos, Cassie, Zhane, Ashley, and TJ stand on a wall, out themselves, and then morph in front of everyone. They will go down fighting before they let the Earth be destroyed. OH SHOW.

Bulk and Skull lead the charge of average humans into the fight, because they won't give up. It is the stuff of legend. Seriously.

Andros screws up some stuff on Astronema's ship in order to lock Ecliptor in a room and then goes to look for her, not knowing she's not there. He finds Zordon and they have a heart to heart. Evil has taken over everywhere. There is no way to stop it. Unless Andros shatters Zordon's tube, killing him in the process, but sending a wave of goodness across the universe and destroying all evil. Andros starts to, but can't bring himself to do it. It's a big sacrifice.

Astronema shows back up on her ship and confronts Andros. There is an epic fight. She is determined to kill him and he's determined to save his sister. She won't listen, though, or doesn't want to. The fight is seriously amazing. Andros has to deflect a blast back to her or die instead. She falls to the ground, unconscious, and he fears he's killed her. Ecliptor is PISSED. That's his little girl. Daddy won't stand by and let his little girl get hurt, so his anger fuels the fight. Ecliptor, you're such a good Daddy.

Zordon finally convinces Andros to destroy the tube. It's the only way. Zordon pulls the duty card and Andros finally does it. He shatters the tube. Zordon dies as a wave of goodness sweeps across the entire universe. The evil, including Ecliptor, turn to dust. Those with goodness in them turn human, including Rita and Zedd. Zedd asks Rita to dance, because they are still in love. Divatox turns human, back into Dimitria's sister. Unfortunately, the rangers powers leave them. They won the fight, Earth is saved, but the powers are gone.

They are sure Andros died up there, until Astronema's ship comes down to Earth. They think she's won, that they really did lose after all, until Andros comes walking out of the hatch. He's carrying his sister. Ashley is happy but dude, this is NOT the time for a joyous reunion. He killed Zordon. He thinks his sister is dead and he did it. ALL THE FEELINGS, SHOW!

He puts her down. He cries the fakest tears of magical healing ever and she wakes up as Karone, healed and happy and healthy and not the slightest bit evil. They won! They really won. Mind, Zordon is still dead, and it's really him that won it for everyone. But wow. Just... wow!

They head to KO-35 to help clean up a bit, restock the ship, take some supplies back to Earth. They are invited to stay, but they're homesick. They just want to be back on Earth. Andros decides to stay, however. It IS his home, after all, and it's not fair to ask him to give that up right after he gets it back (Ashley, I'm looking at you Little Ms. Guilt Trip).

He falls for it, though, and he and Zhane board the ship at the last minute to go to Earth with them. Earth is going to be a little crazy with the celebrity hero worship thing, guys. You might have should have stayed on KO-35 for awhile.

Guys, THIS is how you do a finale. BEST FINALE EVER. No series has managed to live up to it since.

1 fish. BEST EPISODE EVER IN EXISTENCE.

Season 6 Roundup

2012-01-07T11:04:00.000-05:00

Highlights!
EPIC FINALE IS EPIC.
Bulk and Skull are big damn heroes!
Carlos' arms.
Ashley and Carlos went on a date!!!!
Astronema/Karone's entire arc. THAT is how you do things.
Psycho Rangers.
TJ is the smartest.
Alpha/DECA.
Future Ranger!Silvy
ALWAYS A CHANCE HOW IS THAT EPISODE SO GREAT.
Justin was pretty awesome when he came back.
Astronema/Zhane.
Ashley/Astronema bodyswap.
Andros' emo

Lowlights!
Andros/Ashley. (Okay, really, the destruction of Ashley/Carlos. BITTER SHIPPER IS BITTER.)
Zhane managed to make us create a "worse than Tommy" tag. Um.
Seymour.
Andros' emo.
Andros' stupid toy battlizer thing.
Really stupid extra toys.
What a waste of an amnesia plot.
And a waste of a "turns things evil" plot.
The whole blackmailed into dating people episode.
TURTLES.

We start Lost Galaxy on Wednesday! The Zordon era is over, and we're moving on! (Queenriley has not seen Lost Galaxy at all, and I've only seen the episodes once. Should be interesting!)

Episode 292 - Countdown to Destruction

2012-01-07T11:01:00.000-05:00

OH MY GOD, IT IS FINALE TIME.

So we start with Dark Specter telling Astronema that it is time for the FINAL BATTLE. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT? Astronema is talking to a giant army about how there will only be evil left and SERIOUSLY, EPIC. We get to see ALL THE OLD VILLAINS. The Machine Empire is there (and wow, I missed them) and then we see the forces of Divatox fighting the Aquitian Rangers (and where is Billy?) and Astronema yelling at Rita and Zedd (and they both sass her until Dark Specter's name is dropped) and HOW SO GREAT, SHOW. HOW SO GREAT.

Astronema talks to Zordon, and is all "mwahaha, running out of energy" and Zordon tells her she won't get away with it. We see another flash of Phantom and Blue Senturian being overrun by the Machine Empire and then Rita and Zedd and their putties and a TON of old monsters fighting on Triforia and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A FINALE.

Even KO-35 (with Zhane back there) is again being destroyed. Zhane heads to Earth to find more Rangers to help, but of course he's attacked on his way back to Earth. Luckily for him, the Astro Megaship shows up to save the day at the last minute.

Andros and the others tell Zhane that it's not just the KO-35 rebels, it's ALL OVER the universe. Apparently there's a whole galaxy that has no defenses at all? Really? And of course, Earth is under attack. I wish they'd managed to bring back some old Rangers for this, because you KNOW that they were busy fighting during it. (I choose to believe that it happened and we just didn't get to see them.)

And I mean, seeing the GIANT ARMY of fighters show up in the sky is freaking amazing. Again, this is the finale that I judge all other finales by. Because WOW.

From space we can see that it isn't just Angel Grove - all over it being attacked, although it looks like things are concentrated in Angel Grove, of course. We're surprised that the rest of the world hasn't abandoned Angel Grove by now.

There's a decent space battle as they get ready to land, and Zhane offers to handle the space battle part as the Rangers fight on Earth. We get to see a LOT of buildings get destroyed, including some familiar sights.

Even still, the Rangers are TOTALLY OVERWHELMED. There are just SO MANY of them. They keep trying to evacuate people as they go, but like, where are they supposed to evacuate them to?

Andros goes all Battlizer in his ugly toy, and blows up a ton of stuff. Until Eclitpor knocks over his ugly toy, and Ashley and Andros get forcibly demorphed by Ecliptor and Darkonda. Once their powers fail, they run away.

Zhane isn't having much luck either, and then for some reason he just LEAVES THE MEGASHIP to launch his own zord? I guess Alpha is piloting the Megaship? He does get to smash a bunch of fighters with his fists though, and that's pretty cool. Of course, there are so many fighters that he falls over. Bad plan, Zhane!

the remaining Rangers also get demorphed and ugh, Carlos's arms. SO NICE. TJ calls for a retreat and they get chased by a bunch of Quantrons. The Rangers are all pretty beaten up, with Carlos trying to carry Cassie.

The citizens of Angel Grove appear to have been captured and are being escorted somewhere by Quantrons, and the Rangers (minus Zhane) all regroup. Darkonda is all pissed because he only has one life left, and then he launches his own ship to do something.

Astronema is talking to Dark Specter, when Darkonda attacks Dark Specter and BLOWS HIM UP, although Darkonda is destroyed (by Dark Specter) in the process. The forces of good would like to thank you, Darkonda, for doing everyone a favor.

Alpha contacts the Rangers to let them know that Dark Specter has been destroyed, and Ecliptor tells the universe that now Astronema is in charge. Divatox is SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT. I love her. And then the whole universe bows to Astronema.

A little kid is told by his mother that they shouldn't worry, the Rangers will save them. Zordon tries to get through to Astronema, now that her programming should be failing, but her programming reasserts itself. At least Zordon's power is no longer being drained?

And just as Astronema gives the order to invade for real, we get the to be continued. THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS, SHOW.

Fish: 1.5 THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS.

Questions/fic we want: So, the other Rangers are doing WHAT during all this?

Episode 291- A Line In The Sand

2012-01-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

So we knew, the minute we started this whole thing, that there would be some episodes that one or the other of us would be recapping, no questions asked, no matter what. Sometimes because it's an episode we love so very very much (like TSB gets all the Adam episodes, but Billy was mine), and sometimes because it's something the other hates so much they can't bear to recap it. This is the latter. I knew I would do this episode because it's the Andros/Ashley date episode. TSB hates them. I am ambivalent. So to save you from a capslocked recap of NO NO NO BAD, you'll get my rather lackluster "and the point of that was?"

We start the episode out with Andros and Ashley on a date. They walk hand in hand and have fancy leather jackets that apparently Andros just bought for Ashley and there are compliments and romance. Then Tiny Children let them play hopscotch and it's ADORABLE. Although why Tiny Children are out playing on the street in the dark clearly at night, I don't know. My kids would be in bed sleeping by that time, yo.

But then! Oh noes! A big SUV tries to run them over. On the sidewalk. And then they run away, round a corner, and decide to look for the SUV behind some boxes... because SUVs are often found hiding behind cardboard boxes. I have no clue what's going on. Hopefully they'll explain it (but I'm not holding my breath). The SUV drives off at 88 miles per hour. My theory is the SUV only acts this way because it read the script, realized it made no sense, argued with the writers, caved and did it's job anyway, and then never worked in the entertainment industry again. Poor SUV. It tried to make sense of this episode.

Back on the Megaship, Cassie tries to convince them it was just a crazy driver. Carlos is off having really nice arms while playing soccer instead of being concerned for them, and I definitely approve. We needed far more Carlos-plays-soccer this season than we actually got. He wanders off to get a wayward ball and then he gets sucked into a vortex by the big SUV. Clearly he's concerned about this SUV thing now. Somehow the rest of the team totally doesn't care that he vanished into the trees and never returned. And I thought the rangers were bad friends!

The SUV then comes for Cassie and TJ. There is morphed fighting the SUV (which kind of looks like half a Hummer? I don't know) and it's RIDICULOUS. Like, incredibly ridiculous. The vehicle is clearly trying to kill them and they just run from it instead of, I don't know, teleporting away. They get sucked into the red vortex and meet up with Carlos who explains the situation and lack of sense of this plot.

Apparently the car is named Tankenstein. Astronema hired it to capture the rangers. Clearly Andros and Ashley should be contacting Justin to come save them, but instead they go off to fight it on their own. In Ashley's car from Turbo (seriously show? You choose THIS episode to go with the whole continuity thing? Well okay, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth). There is more ridiculous morphed fighting with the SUV. Andros even has to call out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit to beat the darn thing. And they still manage to get sucked into the stupid vortex. Now all five of them are trapped on some weird desert world.

The Cocky Badass comes to the rescue AGAIN. There is no explanation of how he got there, how he knew where they were, where he came from, how he knew what was going on, why he knew to fight the SUV. He just comes in and does it because he's a Cocky Badass. Seriously, he's worse than Tommy.

There is a zord fight. They win. It's boring, until the big SUV manages to blow up MORE TOYS (dude, WORSE THAN TOMMY, guys... that's not a good thing!). All they have left is the Astro Megaship. They're all dirty and smoking and damaged, except for Cocky Badass, who is perfectly coiffed.

4.5 fish. The only thing saving this episode was Carlos and his pretty pretty arms playing soccer.

Episode 289 - Ghosts in the Machine

2012-01-04T20:19:00.000-05:00

We're BACK. I've missed recapping so much, you all have no idea.

So apparently all the missing people from the last episode (remember that one?) are on a cruise ship? I thought they were in an alternate dimension? Maybe I've just forgotten things from last time. Anyway, the cruise ship is completely abandoned. Except apparently people were on the cruise ship and eating some fairly nice food? I have no idea, seriously, show. Why were the prisoners being held on a nice cruise ship? Why have they all left now? If Astronema wants to take me prisoner and put me on a cruise, I would be totally in favor of that. Free cruise!

Back on the ship, Carlos is still stressed about Silvy, and he and Andros continue searching.

Except now the prisoners aren't on a cruise ship, they're in an underwater city, and Astronema of Borg and her minions are turning Bulk, Skull and the Professor into datacards? I seem to remember this making more sense.

Were they on the cruise ship at all? Why does Astronema want them to be datacards anyway? How is she going to use them? Was the city on the ship? Why does Carlos only care about Silvy? Like, half of Angel Grove is missing.

Andros's big plan once they somehow figure out that the city is under the sea is that they'll tunnel under the city? What. I don't know.

The ghosts of the Psychos follow them around and they're very sulky about it. The Rangers make a big deal about not being detected, and then they pretty instantly get discovered. But there's a fairly decent fight scene, so I'm cool with that.

Astronema claims that their getting into the city was part of her plan all along. Which... I might buy, because Cassie instantly pushes Andros out of the way of the machine thing and she's slowly and apparently painfully turned into a datacard. She gives a last minute plea to Astronema about how they're friends, but Astronema is all "nope, I have none" and Andros is unable to destroy the datalaser because it will destroy Cassie as well. The other Rangers are all dataformed a lot faster.

The psychos take advantage of the machine to somehow turn themselves back into physical form. I guess they're also data? The fish are really strong with this one. I guess it's because they're under the sea and all.

The Psychos steal the datacards back, and then they fight Ecliptor and blast him repeatedly. Because the Psychos want their own revenge they turn the Rangers back into physical form. Really, Emily Thorne is way better at this revenge thing then they are. There's some more fighting over who gets to destroy the Rangers, and then some more fighting. The Rangers appear to be doing better at fighting the Psychos.

Even though Zhane wasn't with them when they went to the city, he shows up anyway to fight Ecliptor? He finds all the datacards (still not sure what Astronema wanted them for anyway) and then turns people back to normal. (There are far less people then there were cards, for the record).

The Rangers lure all the Psychos to the control room and turn them into datacards. Due to stuff blowing up, the Rangers have to teleport out without the Psychos datacards. This is the end of them. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

They briefly try to convince us that Zhane is hurt, but nobody is buying that. It wasn't even a convincing fake out. And then we find out that of COURSE Astronema still has the datacards.

There was not enough of awesome future ranger Silvy in this episode :(

Fish: FIVE. SO MANY FISH.

Questions: Why did it take so long to transform Cassie compared to everyone else? Seriously, why did Astronema want datacards anwyay? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE?

Episode 290- The Impenetrable Web

2012-01-04T19:42:00.000-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, we should have a whole season about Alpha being super awesome. Just saying.

So we start off with Alpha playing three dimensional chess against DECA. Alpha totally wins, but it's super adorable and I now ship Alpha/DECA. Alpha/Ship? YES PLEASE. They intercept a distress signal and immediately rush off to go help.

It's a trap! Because Astronema is there and she has created a web to ensnare the rangers. It's all green and web-like. They are down on the planet when the Megaship gets caught so they somehow lose all their powers? I don't get it, but whatever. Alpha tries to shoot his way out, but it doesn't work. Astronema sends Darkonda down to get the rangers and Ecliptor over to take control of the Megaship. He overpowers Alpha easily, but not before Alpha manages to enable some security measures.

Alpha escapes and hides, with the help of DECA. Because they are AI IN LOVE. It's so cute. I love them so!

Darkonda is boring and gives a bunch of orders and looks for the rangers. There is fighting and it's not at all amusing or interesting. Let's ignore him and get back to Ecliptor, shall we? I really like him. He tries to order DECA around and she's having none of it. Alpha pulls a Home Alone and drops balls on the floor. It's great. Ecliptor is going to reprogram the ship, but Alpha opens the doors to suck him out into space instead. Because clearly Alpha is a genius. It doesn't work, but it was a totally good idea!

Ecliptor heads off to destroy the MegaVoyager instead. Meanwhile, Darkonda has the rangers captured. Cocky Badass Zhane comes to the rescue AGAIN and he is somehow magically not affected by this electronic net because he's still morphed and has all his toys. The fish must REALLY like him. Whatever. He's boring, too. I want more Alpha and DECA versus Ecliptor!

Zhane takes his shiny toys and goes to the MegaVoyager to stop Ecliptor from destroying it. Ecliptor is now red? I don't get it, but okay. There is a boring fight where Zhane momentarily gets his ass handed to him. Andros pulls out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit and goes to break through the web so everybody can morph. He somehow manages it? I don't get it. The fish must have finally broken the net for him. Everybody morphs and pull out all the toys and go fight Red Ecliptor with Zhane. This is boring. This episode should have more Alpha and DECA being badass. Ecliptor apparently uses all his extra power and instead of using the MegaZords to step on him and squish him while he's weak, the rangers go and fight hand to hand instead (and somehow manage to turn him green/black again). I did say this fight made no sense, right?

Ecliptor managed to screw up a lot of shit, though. They've lost most of the toys at this point. Astronema is really happy about this and she totally has a plan.

4.5 fish because seriously, ALLLLLL the fighting (that made no sense). The only thing saving this from a full 5 is how amazingly wonderful Alpha and DECA are.

Episode 288 - Mission to Secret City

2011-12-11T14:12:00.000-05:00

So, the Rangers get some sort of weird readings in the warehouse district, so Andros, TJ, and Cassie go down to investigate. Turns out the Psychos are all ghosts, so they're giving off weird readings, but they're passing right through the rangers. Ghost psychos are good! They should fight the Gobusters when that gets adapted. ~~Please, Saban, please.~~

Carlos is hanging out with future Ranger Silvy, because we need an inappropriately young friend, and Ashley a) feeds Andros, and b) teaches him to use chopsticks. The others are trying so hard not to laugh. If I didn't dislike Andros/Ashley so much, I would find that adorable. Instead, I will coo at how adorable Carlos is with Silvy, because awwww.

Meanwhile, monster shows up, and starts making people vanish. Bulk tries to threaten him with a toaster (he thinks it's a raygun, okay?) but he gets vanished, along with Carlos, Andros and Silvy. The other Rangers fight the monster, and somehow their suits block his rays or whatever. He heads out, leaving them to go back to the ship and try and figure out what to do.

In alternate dimension land, we get a gratuitous shot of Carlos' ass. I approve. Carlos is so concerned about future Ranger, Silvy! Awwww. Ecliptor and the Quantrons show up and start rounding people up. Carlos and Andros try to morph, but they discover that their powers are useless. Without their morphers, Carlos and Andros get beaten up. (And Andros gets separated from his morpher, which Silvy picks up, because she's smart.)

ALSO, IS THAT CHAINS ON CARLOS'S WRISTS? THIS IS ESSENTIAL TO POINT OUT.

Silvy hands the morpher over to Carlos and is all "yeah, your friend dropped something, and also, I totally figured out he was a Ranger. Because I am the smartest." How much do I love Silvy? SO MUCH.

Meanwhile, the girls and TJ plan to get taken, and they have some sort of special packs which lets them bring in their weapons, but I am slightly distracted because QR and I are horrible and want fic where Silvy grows up to hit on Carlos repeatedly. He is nice and turns her down, so then she has a threesome with Justin and Fred Kelman instead.

Cassie uses the tech that they've brought in to figure out what's jamming the signal, and then we get some more unmorphed fighting. Andros, Carlos and Silvy sneak off, and Silvy promises Andros that she'll keep her mouth shut. Seriously, stop worrying, she already knows about Carlos.

Silvy suggests Andros use a different button on his morpher, but he says it's too dangerous, and instead uses regular mode, which allows him to break the chains on his and Carlos's wrists. I am sad about this. Carlos then gets blasted by a monster, and Andros presses the button again, and his fist glows red. While the fight is going on, TJ and Cassie (and Cassie's glasses are adorable) are disabling the device, but then they nearly get thrown off a building. But TJ is great and he blows that shit up even while they're dangling off the side.

Silvy watches the fight, and since she is the smartest, she hits the button that on Andros's morpher that he said was too dangerous, which gets him the fugly super-muscled battlizer mode (with wings). SILVY IS GREAT AND KNOWS MORE ABOUT THE POWER THEN ANDROS DOES. Andros flies to catch TJ and Cassie, who are like "what." Ashley looks at him and is like "hot." Ashley, honey, I don't even know.

Andros' new toy comes with a shield and some missiles and I'm sure all the tiny children want to buy it or whatever, and since TJ blew stuff up, the others can morph anyway and fight. Andros plays with some more new toys and he fights him from the air, and then blows him up.
Andros thanks Silvy for being great, and she's so smug and adorable. Then the monster grows, and the bigger toys come out to play, and I really am out of interesting ways to describe a zord fight. Toy comes down and kicks the monster a little, and then the monster gets knocked down. Then they blast the monster and then shoot a missile at it. Seriously, that was boring just to type.

Once they beat the monster, Astronema sends them back to their own reality, and Carlos is concerned because SILVY IS STILL THERE. And OH NOES. Because SILVY. She is GREAT. But they shouldn't worry, because Silvy, Bulk and Skull are all in the secret city, and they can handle anything.

Episode 287- Andros and the Stowaway

2011-12-11T13:54:00.000-05:00

So we start the episode with a tiny alien that is running from a bigger alien. It mostly looks like Bigger Alien is just playing a game with Tiny Alien, but whatever. They are the fakest aliens I have ever seen. Andros comes across Tiny Alien. He determines Tiny Alien is afraid, scares him out of a tree, and catches him on the way down. Bigger Alien introduces himself, accuses Andros of stealing, and fights ensue. Andros grabs Tiny Alien and the big alien runs away. Andros ensures his safety and the leaves the CLEARLY A BABY to his own devices. Tiny Baby Alien runs after Andros, however.

It sneaks it's way onto the MegaShip and scares Ashley. It's not a very good stowaway. Stowaways are supposed to hide, but whatever. Ashely names him Seymour. Somehow Seymour speaks English and ends up eating ALL THE THINGS. This, of course, gives him a stomach ache. Andros sits by his side all night. DAWWWWW.

Big Alien goes to Astronema to get his Tiny Alien back. He will agree to turn the Power Rangers to stone if she can help him get Tiny Alien back

Andros wakes up at the hospital bed to discover Tiny Alien Seymour is not so tiny any longer. He's as big as Andros now. Bigger Alien has gone down to Angel Grove to draw the rangers to him. Bigger Alien demands Seymour be given back. Ashley notices a resemblance between the two, but everybody ignores her. There is lots of fighting, which Seymour sees.

Back on the ship, Andros is looking for Seymour, but he's nowhere to be found. He's gone down to Earth because he made a mistake. The rangers are his friends now and he knows they're in trouble with Bigger Alien because of him. Bigger Alien finds him, compliments him on how much he's grown, and says Seymour is going with him. Andros comes by in the nick of time and take Seymour away with him. He tries to reassure Seymour and brings him a cookie, which Seymour splits. DAWWWW.

Except then Andros and Bigger Alien have to fight again because he's not going away without Seymour. The other rangers show up and there is a clearly-Sentai-footage battle to be fought. Bigger Alien manages to get a shot in at Andros' feet, turning them to stone, and Seymour steps in to help. Bigger Alien catches him and puts him in a pocket. The Rangers won't leave Seymour, though, and convince him he's strong and can fight the Bigger Alien. Boring battle ensues and this is really about the dumbest episode I think I've ever seen on Power Rangers. Which is saying something, because we did make it through the entirety of Turbo.

They win. Seymour is free to go so they take him home. He meets a girl. IT'S REALLY DUMB, OKAY? I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER ALREADY. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BLEACH FOR MY BRAIN TO ERASE THIS STUPID THING.

5 fish. OMG IT WAS SO BAD.

Episode 286- The Enemy Within

2011-12-07T20:20:00.000-05:00

So today, Dark Specter is running out of time. Astronema's plan is working BEAUTIFULLY. She is so awesome.

The Rangers are still trying to find the MegaVoyager. They aren't having much luck. Meanwhile, the Psychos are starting to rebel against Astronema. They want to destroy the rangers and she won't let them yet. The Rangers think they found something and Zhane convinces them it's a trap and he should go in alone. He's such a cocky badass. He's right though. It's totally a trap. Luckily the others listened to him and are sneaking in the back.

The Psychos are kind of dumb, for a change, and don't bother to COUNT the rangers. One ranger controlling one zord. The other five are sneaking in and getting their zords back. Mind, Zhane might be cocky, but he's not that brilliant either because he didn't count the Psychos. Yellow isn't fighting. She's waiting by the zords. Because she booby trapped them and now they won't work for the rangers. DUH. They manage to get them back and combine ("and the penis goes through the hole") only to have Psycho Yellow take control of the zords.

Zhane is caught in his zord and tied up. Again. Yay for more bondage! The rangers are about to get their asses handed to them when Ecliptor pulls Psycho Red back. They have an epic battle (is it possible for Ecliptor to have a battle that isn't epic? I don't think it is). Ecliptor hands him his ass instead, before he runs away and goes back to the ranger battle. He pulls Andros out and they fight. On a tranquil countryside by a small lake with some waterfalls. It's really quite pretty. The fight is kind of boring though. Andros wins, just barely, with the help of Alpha and the Megaship. They break the hold of the virus and Psycho Yellow loses control, letting the rangers have their zords back.

Psycho Red tries to beat them, but Psycho Black stops him. There is infighting. Psycho Red ruins the whole plan. They set Zhane free, unfortunately. He's much better when he's tied up. There is something about energy and absorbing and turning it back on the Psychos and then they destroy the other three psychos and... what the fuck? This is freaking RIDICULOUS. Like, I have no clue what's going on. TSB and I remember this story arch being MUCH better than this.

Astronema nearly had Dark Specter destroyed. She's on her own side, though, and she's still determined to take out everybody and rule everything. Andros, meanwhile, is going to bed when he sees a shadow. Psycho Red is on the ship... except it's not Psycho Red. It's Zhane. In a suit. Who got the shit beaten out of him by Andros for scaring him. Oh Zhane. Not funny.

5 fish. This was just... bad.

Episode 285 - Silence is Golden

2011-12-07T20:18:00.000-05:00

The episode begins with Andros and TJ crossing the Blue Psycho off the big board. I love big boards! They're so much fun. Andros is worried that this is the calm before the storm or something. Back on Earth, Cassie is shopping. This just makes me really want to write the fic where Kim takes all the Pink Rangers shopping. Poor Cassie has allergies, which is sad. :(

Meanwhile, the Psychos are memorizing the Rangers' voices. Astronema tells them not to kill the Rangers, but to capture them instead, no matter how much energy it takes. Ecliptor tells her that its risky, but she's sure that her awesomeness will carry through. I approve!

Seriously, if Astronema would just carry out her own plans instead of delegating, she'd have conquered Earth already.

The Psychos go down to Earth and turn into humans and they start scanning around Angel Grove, listening for the Rangers' voices. Psycho Red is pretty hot. WE ARE SO OLD. This is the days before cell phones, so Ashley is using a pay phone. She's talking about getting a gift for her dad. Psycho Yellow immediately goes after Ashley, but instead gets the woman in the phone booth after her. I am really not sure how they got there after Ashley had left the booth. They seemed to be moving fairly quickly. Ashley hears the woman scream, and then overhears the Psychos explain about the voices. Ashley heads back to the Megaship, leaving Cassie behind, and they have to figure out how to contact Cassie.

If they could text, this would not be an issue. Instead, we get a pager. Awww, pagers. I seriously feel so old. SO OLD.

Apparently Cassie can't talk, can't use her communicator, and can't morph. Okay, so now I have questions. How do they usually get back to the ship? I'm guessing it's not teleporters. Do they morph and take the Galaxy Gliders? RIDICULOUS. Why can't she go morph in a corner and instantly get out of there? THEY CAN USUALLY DO THAT.

So Cassie is put into situations where she has to talk. She avoids thanking a guy for getting her bags when she forgets them, and she gives a cranky old guy a flower when he demands an apology for her bumping into him. But then she sees a baby carriage nearly get knocked down some stairs so she screams. The baby is saved, but the Psychos are being creepy and corner Cassie.

Then a poorly disguised Zhane clown shows up. What the fuck. He rounds the corner and then suddenly the Psychos hear Cassie's voice and they chase after it. Cassie runs into the rest of the Rangers, and they morph and fight the Psychos and SERIOUSLY, I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION. I'm guessing recordings of Cassie's voice taped from somewhere?

The three psychos turn into even more monstrous forms, because apparently this ridiculousness is what they actually look like, and THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THE WORLD. Then the Psychos grow and I am not giving a shit at this point. The three Psychos are beating up the Megazord so Zhane shows up with another toy.

They thought they'd destroyed the Psychos, but apparently not. Instead, the Psychos try to drag them into a vortex or something. The Rangers are all "We need to abandon ship!" but Andros is pulling a Tommy and is all "WE DO NOT ABANDON OUR ZORDS." Luckily, Adam has clearly warned Carlos about this, because Carlos hits Andros and makes him leave. They escape just as the MegaVoyager gets dragged... somewhere.

Dark Spectre whines to Astronema about his missing powers, and she promises that she's looking into it. Also, Astronema of Borg has hidden the Megazord somewhere, and she starts to tell the Psychos her grand plan.

Fish: FIVE. SPACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Episode 284 - Five of a Kind

2011-12-03T11:44:00.001-05:00

So we open with Dark Spectre being all "Astronema, go be HBIC and attack Earth." That is totally the best way to start an episode.

The Rangers break out the awesome chess set again, and take off the Psycho Pink. Then TJ is all "WAIT. I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT." He realizes that if they keep fighting same colors, they are screwed. Just mix up the colors! Because TJ is brilliant and proving how he is an awesome blue, and doing the strategy thing. GO TJ. This is why he was such an awesome Red Ranger.

So an alarm goes off and they head to fight the Psycho Rangers, with their plan to switch colors on them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the Psychos from still going after their counterparts, and soon the battle goes back to color vs color. Then Zhane shows up, late as always. Is this a sixth ranger thing or something?

Psycho Blue scores a lucky hit on TJ, who goes down hard, and it's only Zhane showing up at the last minute that prevents him from getting his head chopped off.

Luckily for TJ, Dark Spectre is all "SOMEONE IS DRAINING MY POWERS NOW" so Astronema has to pull the Psychos back.

TJ wakes up in the med lab, and damn, nice arms. TJ is very sad that his plan didn't work, but everyone is like "YOU STAY IN THE MED LAB. YOU ARE HURT." Also, Cassie looks very worried about him, hovering over his bed, and I ship them so hard.

The Psychos are arguing about why they got pulled back, and they're planning on going after the Rangers with or without Astronema. She is so pleased by this.

CASSIE BRINGS TJ BREAKFAST IN BED AND THERE IS A FLOWER. SHIP THEM SHIP THEM SHIP THEM. ALL THE HURT/COMFORT. ALL OF IT.

Except TJ isn't in bed, he's busy watching the battle to figure out new strategies. Except on the recording, the color suddenly goes out, and TJ comes up with ANOTHER new plan, because he is brilliant. He spraypaints all the pieces on the chess board blue, so they won't know their true colors.

OH MY GOD HE HAS NICE ARMS. Those jackets hide them. BUT DAMN, NICE ARMS.

So all the Rangers go down disguised as blue rangers, and I wonder how they managed to make all their costumes blue. And it's not like they disguise the voices. And with color theory and all, I wonder if the others are uncomfortable wearing blue. And like, how did the girls ditch the skirts? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Yellow Psycho is like "whatever, I'm not even trying. I'll wait until they're done."

Then Silver Psycho appears or something, and he attacks the Rangers, and the Psychos are SO ANNOYED with that. So they attack Psycho Silver, and then Psycho Blue blasts Psychos Red and Black in the back.

Psycho Silver is revealed as Zhane, and the five blue rangers all assemble and Zhane and TJ blast Psycho Blue. Why is Zhane getting to be all awesome? This is TJ's moment of glory! So Psycho Blue gets to grow and the toys show up to battle. And then it's snowing or something? Are they still in California? Why so cold?

(SERIOUSLY, WHY SO COLD. I hate cold.) (QR is mocking me, she loves the cold. She's also wrong.)

Apparently Psycho Blue is trying to freeze them, so they just turn up the heat and the ice melts off the zord, and could I get that system, because SO COLD. I am going to freeze when I go home to NY for two weeks.

So they destroy blue and call Zhane a Psycho and Astronema is like "pfft, one is enough to destroy the Rangers." Astronema threatens the Psychos and is all "Here is the plan" and they are so terrified of her. So great.

The Rangers are all prepping for battle and doing something technical. Whatever it is, it should be awesome.

Andros is busy having a sad about Karone. Look, she's all Of Borg at the moment. And he's being emo. If QR was doing this recap, she'd be a lot more sympathetic. But I am not.

Fish: 2! TJ has a plan! He is great!

Fic we want: TJ is so badass. TJ/Cassie! Lasting effects of wearing the wrong color!

Episode 283- A Rift in the Rangers

2011-12-03T10:38:00.002-05:00

Today on Power Rangers, I get some frustration out that I was previously unaware I'd been keeping pent up inside. Thanks, Power Rangers. I feel better now.

So we start off on the MegaShip. Today is "address the mundane" day, apparently. Cassie is studiously cleaning ALL THE THINGS. Andros and Ashley are sitting around eating and Andros gets up, and LEAVES HIS PLATE and all his crumbs everywhere. He is seriously a messy eater. Ashley then asks if Cassie has washed her sheets yet. Seriously Ashley? You ask if CASSIE has washed YOUR sheets?? She then leaves HER plate as well. Apparently Cassie is supposed to do it all herself. AND SHE IS ANGRY ABOUT THIS, RIGHTFULLY SO. Ashley points out that things get dirty again and then you just have to clean them again so what's the point, but YES THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK AND NO THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO JUST NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. Cassie shouldn't be responsible for everything.

Carlos and TJ see this argument and stupidly attempt to break it up. TJ points out they agreed to divide the duties, except nobody but Cassie seems to realize that nobody else is doing their fair share. She's mopping and sweeping and cleaning up the table and the dishes and doing all the laundry and WHAT THE HELL ARE THE BOYS DOING? Seriously, a penis does not automatically exempt you from cleaning. And ASHLEY! You are adult. DO YOUR OWN DAMN LAUNDRY.

Meanwhile, Dark Specter lectures Astronema on time and all I can think about is how he doesn't have time to argue about the time. Psycho Yellow has a plan to destroy the rangers. Astronema is willing to listen, but she doesn't want to destroy them just yet. Instead, Yellow teams up with Pink.

Cassie is still cleaning. Andros asks her to check computer functions. Cassie points out that Ashley is supposed to do that, and she was supposed to mop. She mopped. Ashley didn't do her thing. TJ forcibly sits them down to lecture. He makes them talk about it. Cassie complains about doing all the cleaning and then TJ says they're acting like 2 year old tiny children (except even at 2, my kids knew how to help clean up after themselves). Except Cassie has a legitimate complaint! They all make messes, they should all clean it up. But TJ is determined to solve ALL THE PROBLEMS... which I adore about him.

So they have to stop because there is a fight to be had on Earth, of course, and Psycho Pink is kicking butt. Psycho Yellow is just biding time until the rangers are tired. TJ gets hurt, Cassie blames herself, then tries to protect them. Psycho Yellow uses the distraction to capture Ashley. Cassie blames herself again and is terribly distraught. Honey, none of this is your fault!

Meanwhile, Psycho Yellow is attempting to take the rest of Ashley's powers, but she's going to fight to the very end. Psycho Pink stops her, though, because this was not the game plan. They argue and fight and Ashley begins to see how not good the infighting is. She manages to escape.

Cassie is beating herself up over the argument and losing Ashley, but I still say Cassie was in the right. It's not petty to expect other residents of a place to help clean it. It's just not. It shouldn't all fall to Cassie just because she's a girl or actually does it. ALL the others need to chip in, not just Ashley! It's not hard to clean up after yourself, and if everybody cleans their own messes, the whole place will remain clean and not put undue burden on just one individual. Cassie really ought to be yelling at Carlos, Andros, and TJ as well. They are not allergic to cleaning! There is nothing in the Y chromosome that makes it impossible for boys to clean.

The Psychos almost get Ashley back, but Cassie comes to save her. They bond and make up. It's adorable. Then they kick ass and beat Psycho Pink on their own! Because they are awesome. She grows, using lots of Dark Specter's energy (which makes Astronema very happy), and they have to call out all the toys. But they still basically took her down on their own. Zhane has to come in and be a cocky badass to save the day, because apparently that is Zhane's only role in this show. Psycho Pink is destroyed and now the Psycho rangers are down one. Astronema is not happy.

Back on the MegaShip, everybody finishes up a meal. They all get up to leave and EVERYBODY LEAVES THEIR PLATES. AGAIN. Damn people, just take your freaking plate back to the replicator. This isn't even difficult or time consuming. IT'S EASY. Ashley goes to clean up, and then Cassie tells her it's still her job this week and she doesn't need Ashley's help. AND THEN TJ IS A BADASS AND NEEDS TO TEACH EVERYBODY EVER BECAUSE HE TELLS THE GIRLS TO STOP BECAUSE THE BOYS WILL DO THEIR SHARE AND CLEAN THE MESS. Andros and Carlos aren't happy about it, but TJ is all "Be a man and clean some damn dishes, it won't kill you". Oh TJ. You volunteered to clean. I am SWOONING (seriously, that's about all it takes for me).

4 fish, mostly because Cassie had a valid point most everybody else ignored and she really should have been yelling at ALL of them, not just Ashley.

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

2011-11-30T20:34:00.000-05:00

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 281 - Rangers Gone Psycho

2011-11-30T19:32:00.002-05:00

Today on Power Rangers,

So we start off with a battle. There is screaming. And a weird owl monster thing. It's... not pretty. Nor is it exciting. Nor does it bode well for this episode. They win, of course.

Back on the ship, Andros has a sad. He can't stop staring at his locket. Because he misses his sister. Again. He flash backs to talking to her about missing her, and getting to know her, and how they have all the time in the world. Except they don't because she's evil again. Poor Andros. Ashley manages to talk him into taking a break back on Earth. Adelle gives them heaps of food, but Carlos is awesome and remembers to say "thank you".

They overhear a girl playing with her little electronic organizer. It sounds just like the communicators and all I could think was how super awesome it was at the time, and how super clunky and huge it looks compared to today's tech. Then they get distracted by a news report. There was an attack at a building and the news reporter sees the rangers, and asks them what happened. Except it's not the rangers! They attack the reporter.

The real rangers end up on the scene and there is an epic battle of ranger vs ranger. This is super awesome! The Psycho Rangers are GOOD. It is one amazing battle. They end up wearing really cool armour before introducing themselves. Faster, stronger, BETTER. And EVIL. It's super intense.

Zhane does not have a psycho ranger equivalent, though, and rushes in just in time to save them. The Psycho Rangers vanish, but not before taking some energy from the real rangers. Astronema is sure this is the only way to beat the real rangers. This is actually a really good plan of hers.

The real rangers can't figure out what's going on. They don't know who the psycho rangers are, where they came from, how to find them. They don't know how to beat them. And it's really clearly bothering them.

The Psycho Rangers are taken in by the sound of the little address storage device. They keep attacking humans to no avail. The real rangers can't figure out why random people are being attacked. Luckily Zhane is still on Earth. Or not so luckily, because the Psycho Rangers find him and capture him. Oh Zhane, you're so pretty when you're tied up.

They've taken him to the old library (apparently there is a new one?) and it's a total disaster. Seriously. Wouldn't they have moved all that stuff to the new library? Anyway, Zhane is still tied up and is very pretty. The real rangers can't get through a force field, though, and aren't allowed to morph. So Andros comes up with a plan, because he has to get his boyfriend back. He uses a remote controlled car to distract them and they fall for it (running like I don't even know what... who the heck pulls their knees up to their chest while running?). The rangers get in and rush to Zhane. Who is delightfully tied up! There should be more Zhane and bondage in this show.

There is a big battle between the rangers and the psycho rangers, because of course they knew the rangers were there. They're evil, not stupid! Though I can see how it would be easy to make that mistake in this show...

The battle is once again epic but the psycho's get called back before they can completely destroy the rangers. But not before there is MAJOR damage to the rangers. Zhane escapes just in time to SEE THEM FALL. Like, hardcore fall. So he rushes to Andros (boyfriends!) and helps them back to the ship.

Astronema has the BEST PLAN EVER. She is going to use the psycho rangers to drain the power from Dark Spectre while they simultaneously destroy the power rangers. This will leave her free to be in charge of everything. SHE IS FREAKING BRILLIANT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING.

Episode 280 - Dark Specter's Revenge - Part 2

2011-11-26T11:18:00.000-05:00

WE LIVE. I handed in my thesis, so now we will have the time of GREAT PANIC while I wait on results.

So we continue with the Megazords trying to push an asteroid out of the way while people on Earth panic. Just as it's entering Earth's atmosphere Zhane shows up with another Zord and somehow that is enough to get it out of the atmosphere without the asteroid breaking up at all (wtf is this thing made of, anyway?) and they push it back into space and whatever, I am not going to argue with the science, but I wonder what the Bad Astronomer would have to say about that.

Zhane gets all the hugs, and he tells them that the rebels built the ship. The Rangers fill Zhane in on the whole Astronema = Karone thing, and Zhane is all "I knew there was something good about her!" and offers to go with Andros to find her, saying he has an interest in Karone as well. You can clearly see the "oh shit, I've got a thing for my boyfriend's sister" on Zhane's face, and also Andros is concerned when Zhane says he has an interest.

Zhane and Andros follow a solitary tie fighter to a space station, and Andros and Zhane continue the "you went on a date with my sister!" "JUST ONE DATE?" thing and AHAHAH awesome, but boys, this is SO NOT THE TIME to figure out your poly relationships.

So the boys steal some Quantrons uniforms, and they're a little short to be storm troopers, and really, show, you're making this too easy.

They find Astronema and take off the helmet, only to find that she's been all Borgified, and she calls Ecliptor to attack them. There's a pretty great fight, and there's no way they're going to win and escape with Astronema, so they end up retreating, leaving her in her brainwashed and Borgified state.

This is pretty epic, seriously.

They end up stealing some velocifighters to escape, and they make it back to the Megaship, and Andros has the biggest sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull and the Professor had some hijinks where they thought they made it to another planet, but nope, still on Earth. Oh, and then they get attacked by a monster. Luckily, there are Power Rangers to the rescue. Including Zhane in his new toy.

Hey, points for a very bondagey fight.

And then the Rangers give Bulk, Skull, and the Professor a ride on their galaxy gliders. ADORABLE.

Meanwhile, the Borg Princess kicks Darkonda out. And Andros, and Zhane are trying to figure out how to fix Astronema. DUN DUN DUN.

Fish: 2! The science is a little screwy, but EPIC IS EPIC.

Episode 279 - Dark Spectre's Revenge Part 1

2011-11-26T10:12:00.001-05:00

Welcome back, dear readers! We've missed you and this blog!

Today on Power Rangers, Astronema is being a Good Girl and Andros is showing her around the ship. Andros shows her the ~~replicator~~ synthetron. He pulls out a plate of the weirdest combination of food and she is totally not hungry.

Which is good because she gets called to the bridge (they call her Karone!), and the others are all standing there looking stern, then they pull a Scrooge and make her an honorary Power Ranger. DAW!

Meanwhile, Ecliptor is having a Terrible Horribly No Good Very Bad Day, what with being assaulted and strapped down to a torture bench (bondage pron!). Darkonda is freaking TERRIFYING. I would not want to be kidnapped by that guy. He reports to Dark Spectre and is totally ready to go get Astronema back from the rangers.

Back on the MegaShip, Karone has rid herself of the awesome coloured hair and is now just regular, blonde, shy Karone in her Ranger jumpsuit. She's cute, but I miss the hair.

And we're back on Earth with Bulk and Skull! They're roasting marshmallows! I LOVE THEM SO! The Professor is stargazing and sees an asteroid and Bulk and Skull assume excitement. Except this is a huge asteroid and it's going to destroy the entire Earth. I think I've seen this movie a few times.

The MegaShip ends up on a collision course with the asteroid. Everyone lurches to the right on cue. Dark Spectre is totally driving that asteroid and demands Astronema be returned. Andros says the first intelligent thing in a long time and says Karone doesn't belong to anybody. DAMN STRAIGHT! They decide to go blow up the super big asteroid. Tiny lasers don't do much damage to it (OMG ACTUAL SCIENCE IN THIS SHOW?!?!?!?! BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!). Darn, where's Bruce Willis (I'd be happy with Morgan Freeman as President as well) when you need him?

TJ is given the explosives to destroy the asteroid while Andros holds back the Quantrons. In this Mega Asteroid Movie, however, nobody is going to die. Because it's Power Rangers Meet the Mega Asteroid. Which is awesome.

And we get MORE actual science, because the explosives do jack shit! The asteroid is still heading to Earth and it's barely damaged and it's HUGE. The rangers scramble to find a solution, when Karone is SUPER AWESOME and finds the only answer. She has to go back to Dark Spectre. It's the only way to stop the asteroid. And she's totally willing to do it because SHE IS THE BEST EVER.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull attempt to sneak into Nasada with the Professor. They need to go tell them about the GIANT FREAKING ASTEROID headed for Earth. Because apparently the super powerful telescopes didn't pick it up, but the amateur telescope did. Whatever, it's a Mega Asteroid movie, so I don't care how implausible that is. But they are warning people! Because they are awesome! And want to help! Good job, guys.

Karone has made it back to Darkonda's ship and is ready to destroy the asteroid. Except she's confronted by Ecliptor who has been altered. He's not totally evil and is going to hurt her! But he can't! He's her fake!Daddy! Oh Ecliptor, honey. He overpowers her and she loses communication with the rangers. All the cries.

Andros doesn't even time to mourn because Nasada is asking for help dealing with the asteroid. They've already tried that, dude! But they're going to try again. Because they're Power Rangers.

Nasada makes a statement to "Angel Grove and the world", further proving Angel Grove is it's own country. He brings up the asteroid crash of 65 million years ago (OMG MORE SCIENCE FOR THE WIN! I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ACCURACY THIS SHOW IS GIVING ME NOW) and how we're looking at more world wide destruction on that scale. The Professor tells everybody to panic, which is horrible advice. Stand up and take your impending demise in stride, people. It will be so much better for you all.

Except the rangers on the case and they use EVEN MORE GOOD SCIENCE by using the MegaZords to push it off course, because THAT is the real life only solution to averting destruction by an asteroid! It doesn't even take much! OH MY GOD THIS SHOW! COULD IT BE ANY BETTER? I DON'T THINK SO! *anime hearts for eyes*

Bulk and Skull and the Professor are going to use a Nasada space ship to go into space. It's... not the best idea? But it's all they have. At least they're trying. So they manage to launch the space ship without any help at all. They hurtle towards the asteroid. The MegaZords are pushing the asteroid at full power. Will they make it?

To be continued...

1 fish. OMG ONE FISH. The actual science in this episode outweighs ANYTHING ELSE that could be wrong with it.

Episode 278 - The Rangers' Leap of Faith

2011-10-29T11:33:00.000-04:00

So we start off with the ending of the last episode again. We already saw this! Both sides have valid points, and they need to learn the value of compromise.

Seriously, they're replaying the ENTIRE LAST SCENE. I mean, it's a great scene, but when you only have so long in an episode, do you really want to waste it?

So we finally get to a new scene after the credits, and Karone is tied to a poll in the maintenance bay. Andros shows up to give her some food and I'm just picturing Tommy screaming at the others after this, because... yeah. Andros brings Karone some food, and they have a discussion about trust. Then Karone asks about their parents, and it is very sad, and they start bonding over that. Apparently they stayed up talking and slept in there.

When they approach the planet, Andros springs the news on the others that it has to look like Astronema captured them. Maybe you should have mentioned that in advance, Andros.

Astronema contacts Dark Spectre and he's all "I'm so proud of you" and then lowers the force field. Rangers in chains, you guys. :D

As soon as possible, the Rangers remove their chains, and TJ starts issuing orders. Once a red...

Fighters stop by, and Astronema is all "What, they're escorts" and the Rangers do not look happy. Andros escorts Astronema off the bridge while TJ pilots and looks all badass.

TJ doesn't like it and decides to ditch the escorts, which um, is BEYOND STUPID. Because now you have advertised that Astronema isn't there, and also for all you know, they WERE leading you there.

The ship gets hit by lightning and there's smoke and darkness and all super dramatic, and then they crash. TJ, I adore you, but that was STUPID.

For a planet with such an unstable atmosphere, the planet looks very nice.

Andros runs back to check on Karone, and she has apparently ditched her chains and left the ship. TJ takes this as confirmation that she was leading them into a trap, and Andros refuses to believe it. They go exploring and run into Darkonda and the Pirahnatrons. Time to morph!

The other Rangers distract things while they yell for Andros to go find Zordon, and Karone grabs Andros while the others are all getting captured. Ecliptor shows up but he can't hurt Astronema, so he tells them to just go on. Darkonda then attacks Ecliptor and calls him a traitor, and he manages to capture him.

Andros and Karone comes upon Zordon's warp tube, and DUN DUN DUN, it turned out to actually be a trap. That was actually Dark Spectre in there, and the rangers are all captured. Astronema tells Dark Spectre that her trap worked perfectly, and he tells her to destroy them, and then teleports out. She tells Darkonda to destroy them, and then right before he's about to, she blasts him in the back and lets the other Rangers escape.

There's a fight scene, and it looks like the Rangers will get caught again, but Ecliptor comes to the rescue, and he tells Karone and the others to go, even though she yells that she can't leave him. She loves her surrogate daddy! The Rangers escape.

Dark Spectre gives Darkonda control of the dark fortress, but only until Astronema returns. Dark Spectre says he has plans for Astronema and Ecliptor, that will ensure they never stray again.

Back on the bridge of the Megaship, TJ leads the others in apologizing to Karone. She tells them that she's never had friends, and that she hopes that one day they'll believe that she doesn't want to hurt them. They tell her that they believe her right now, and also, now she has five friends. Ashley grabs her hand and seriously looks like she's about to kiss it. I feel this is relevant to people's interests.

End episode with Alpha saying the gesture of friendship is so beautiful.

Fish: 2! The plans and crosses and betrayals all worked out pretty nicely.

Episode 277- Astronema Thinks Twice

2011-10-29T11:13:00.000-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, it's Astronema's turn to have a sad.

She's wandering around Earth as the memories start to come back to her. She won't let go of the locket and part of her remembers being snatched as a child, a little boy chasing after her, but she doesn't want to. She's so conflicted! And she plays it SO WELL.

Andros finds her and confronts her, because he knows she remembers. He thinks if he can just get her to see, she'll accept him and the goodness still inside her. She attacks instead and runs away, but I can't really blame her. She's confronting the fact that her whole life up to that point has been a lie. That's a big deal.

Darkonda delights in the conflict. Ecliptor is not so happy that Darkonda is having fun tearing apart his Adopted Daughter. He's going to take care of that for her, and get rid of Darkonda once and for all. Or, well, that's the plan anyway. The battle is amazing and Darkonda actually tries to run away, but Ecliptor will have none of it. He is determined to take care of this problem for Karone. Unfortunately, Darkonda cheats and forces Ecliptor to join with him again. Ecliptor escapes, barely, and Darkonda gets away again. Ecliptor screams out Darkonda.

Darkonda is counting down his lives and requests Dark Spectre destroy Ecliptor for him. Yeah, that's soooo not happening.

Astronema confronts Ecliptor about her brother, and Ecliptor explains that he was made to be evil, but she was born to be good. It's only because of him that she is who she has become. Except that Ecliptor isn't really evil! He loves! He has a heart! He cares deeply! He will do whatever it takes to save those who matter to him! He's only evil because he thinks that's what he has to be! Oh Ecliptor, I adore you and your poor tortured story. Astronema loves him and is determined to remain evil for him, so she sends a monster after Andros.

This show could benefit from an Adopted Dad Logan tumblr. Just saying.

She goes to watch the fight and is once again torn by emotions. Andros is getting the snot beat out of him, and he loses his morpher, which she manages to grab. She could save him, but she's not sure yet if she should and OMG THIS SHOW! ALL MY LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. She throws him his morpher and walks away, while he morphs and saves himself from the monster she sent to him (and then the others show up and there is all the toys and yada yada yada I don't care about this part).

I freaking ADORE these episodes. This is probably the tightest Power Rangers has ever been.

Dark Spectre doubts Astronema. She wants to be evil. He commands her to destroy Andros, knowing who he is. She hesitates, but decides to do it anyway.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to convince Andros that she's still dangerous. He refuses to see it and goes to meet her alone. Astronema tells Andros she'll take him to Zordon. He BELIEVES HER. BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. HE EVEN TAKES HER ON THE SHIP, and the others totally aren't happy with it. And understandably so! She's spent the better part of this season trying to kill them. He defends her, they grudgingly go along with it but only after she gives the coordinates. And now nobody really trusts Andros (and I can't blame them, but I can't blame him either). Oh Andros. Sweetheart. ALL THE CRIES.

Episode 275 - Always A Chance

2011-10-26T20:37:00.002-04:00

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, IT IS TIME TO RECAP MY FAVORITE EPISODE!!!!!!

No, seriously. This is my favorite episode. Out of what, 720+ episodes? Yeah, this is my absolute favorite. The one that I have seen more times than any other episode. The one that cemented every single bit of fanon I have about Adam (and you were spared my thoughts when we did Mirror of Regret, although I did go into it a little when we did It Came From Angel Grove

So, I have a lot of fanon about Adam. I know not everyone agrees with my fanon about him, and I've written about some of my thoughts on Adam and power addiction before but hey, any excuse to talk about it again. There will probably be a lot of meta and theories in this, and since this is me discussing this episode, it's going to touch on depression and suicide. So, consider yourself warned.

Anyway, are you excited? Because I'm excited. (No, seriously, I emailed QR this morning in all caps about happy Always a Chance Day. I am possibly a little bit ridiculous.)

So, episode.

We open in some sort of warehouse/science lab thing, where a really ugly monster is sucking the life or something out of scientists and computers. Or stealing their knowledge with his tongue. The Rangers look in the windows and then go in and yell at him. They discover that he can switch places by licking. Um. Ew?

Cue theme song. And what's this AFTER the themesong? OH YES, THAT IS JOHNNY YONG BOSCH'S NAME. I remember waaaaay back when I first saw this episode, I literally fell off the couch when that happened. I mean, yeah, this was 98 so I had internet, but I wasn't in fandom or anything, and I had NO IDEA that JYB was returning. So yeah, there is something to be said about surprises, especially when it gets the actually fell off a couch reaction.

Anyway, Cassie tries to shoot the monster but he tongues her. Carlos tries to help her by attacking, but the monster switches places and thanks Carlos for his help. Cassie apparently has injured her shoulder. Carlos, meanwhile, has the saddest sad in all the land, and that's something, for a season that contains Andros.

Back on the megaship, Cassie is playing checkers with Alpha, and Carlos comes in to apologize to her again, and she's like "look, this sort of thing happens. We're Rangers," and Carlos is having none of it, because he's busy blaming himself for everything. It is possible that I overidentify with Carlos a lot.

They do a really good job with Carlos' guilt here - the Rangers have a lot riding on them, and the pressure not to screw up has to be incredible, especially as everything they're doing is really a matter of life or death. Sometimes we forget that at this point, they are still teenagers. I couldn't handle that amount of stress. But they fight monster after monster without breaking. No wonder they have so many fits of emo.

Some other stuff happens with Astronema and sending a monster down and blah blah. Ugly monster goes after Bulk, Skull and the Professor. Carlos is standing on a bridge posing dramatically and having flashbacks of how he hurt Cassie, when he sees Bulk and the others get attacked. He has a quick freakout, which you can tell by his shaking hand, but he yells at himself to get it together. Also, Carlos is super hot in this episode. He morphs, and tries to beat up the monster, who mocks him again. Carlos is losing pretty badly, and he's going down into a spiral of second guessing everything he does, and then someone flips in and saves the day.

AND LOOK WHO IT IS WHY YES I THINK THAT IS JOHNNY YONG BOSCH. FAVORITE.

EXCEPT ADAM YOUR HAIR WHAT IS THAT I CAN'T EVEN.

So Adam fights the thing UNMORPHED, because he is freaking BADASS LIKE THAT and meanwhile Carlos is being emo but whatever, the monster runs away from Adam. The monster mocks Carlos again about not having friends, and Carlos is just like "YAY MY BOYFRIEND IS BACK."

Carlos explains to Adam that he's been needing a lot of help lately, which um, is not what happened earlier in the episode, but whatever, because EPISODE. Carlos asks Adam for help and how he's second guessing himself, and Adam gives him a lot of good advice about taking chances and believing in yourself, and then explains that he had the same doubts, and then he offers to train him.

The fact that Adam is the one who comes back is super powerful, actually. Of the four Rangers who left in Passing the Torch, he's the only one who really didn't have something major waiting for him. Kat had dance school, Tommy had racing, Tanya has had a recording contract offer since mid-Zeo, and Adam... was working at a stunt show. He was the one who didn't seem as ready to leave, which of course also has to do with JYB and his not being ready to leave. Plus, Adam is the one with the canonical self-esteem issues (thanks, Mirror of Regret, and reasons why I overidentify with Adam for one million.)

Adam still isn't quite ready to give everything up - I mean, why is he in Angel Grove anyway? Why is he hanging out in the abandoned warehouse district where monsters are known to attack?

Anyway, training montage.

Have I mentioned how much I love training montages? And this is an unpopular opinion, but I think Adam is super hot when his hair is pulled back. SUPER HOT. THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR MY LIFE.

Adam and Carlos are sparring while Carlos is blindfolded and hi, Carlos's arms. Those are pretty nice, you should show them off more often. Carlos is having a lot of trouble with thie, but he's blindfolded and fighting Adam, so you know, to be expected.

Unfortunately, it looks like Adam hurt more than he helped, because Carlos gives up completely, says that he's no Power Ranger, and runs off. Adam says Carlos can make his own decisions, but he's clearly going "this is who I gave my powers to?"

Then he asks Alpha if his old morpher still works, because sometimes he wishes he was still a Power Ranger, and Alpha freaks out and is all "Morphing could DESTROY YOU" and Adam laughs nervously, but he rubs the morpher possessively a few times and looks sad.

So. Why does Adam have the morpher? It's been nearly a year since he gave up the powers in show time, and he's still carrying it around? Why would he even think about using something that could kill him.

I have a few theories on that (I am sure you're shocked). First, Adam just wasn't mentally prepared to stop being a Ranger. Holding onto the broken morpher was a way of still being a Ranger, even after he knew he couldn't. And training Carlos just sent the nostalgia and the desire to belong to a team and the desire to feel like he's doing something with his life overboard.

And then there's the other theory, which... is my favorite, personally, but I like angst. I really like the idea of power addiction and power withdrawal, and some sort of depression that hits after you give up the power. The longer you hold the power, the harder it is to give up (see Billy, Kim, and Tommy for other examples).

With Adam, and the ramped up version of what I mentioned earlier about his identity being tied to the power, this was a way to still be a hero, and to go out like one. Not knowing what to do with his life, Adam was ready to die in battle, die a Power Ranger. Whether or not he was fully conscious of it, the way I tend to write him at least was that he was in a serious depressive fit, and then there was the chance to make a difference again. Why would he pass it up? Which was more important, his life, or feeling alive?

I did warn I was going to be ridiculously meta, right?

Back on the megaship, Carlos has quit, because he's afraid of hurting someone again. Oh, honey. Self doubt is a really powerful thing, and Carlos is not doing well at all. In the park, Carlos tells Adam that he quit, and he rubs his wrist where the communicator should be. Nice powerful gesture there.

Adam is like "shit, what did I do?" when they get attacked by the LizWizard. More unmorphed fighting on Adam's part, because he is GREAT. Still, they're a little overwhelmed and Adam does the only thing he thinks he can do.

He grabs his broken morpher, ignores Alpha and Carlos when they're yelling at him not to, and he morphs.

Seriously, that's my favorite moment in Power Rangers.

Carlos warns him again that he'll be destroyed, and Adam is like "get out of here" because protecting the civilians is what they do, and that's what Carlos is now. Luckily, that is when Carlos changes his mind and stops.

Look, there's really only one interpretation for someone clutching their arm like that, and that's heart attack. Even if you don't buy the suicide attempt theory (which not everyone does), there is definitely some sort of lasting effect from him using the morpher. Which means... all the post-episode hurt/comfort fic in the world!

Adam is clutching his arm and looking in pain as his morph starts to fade in and out, and he's clearly having a lot of trouble since broken morpher that is DESTROYED and all, but Carlos finally decides to start acting like a Ranger. Of course, at that exact moment the other Rangers show up, and Cassie throws Carlos his morpher, and he morphs.

Adam fights the monster, and Carlos jumps at them. The monster tries to do the same thing with Adam as had happened with Cassie. Except this time Carlos manages to actually hit the monster.

This is the real passing the torch moment. This is when Carlos is basically acknowledged as being Adam's successor, and where Adam is ready to pass the power on. Not that episode in Turbo. This.

Then the monster grows, etc, fight. Back in the park, everyone comes to check on Adam, who still seems to be in pain and clutching his arm, but he tells them that he's fine, so instead it's all group hugs for Carlos time!

Fish: 1.5 BEST EPISODE EVER

Fic we want: EVERYONE YELLS AT ADAM AND THEN THERE ARE HUGS.

Important questions I did not get to address: So um. Zeo morphers? WHERE ARE THEY? (Okay, yes, so color issues, and it wouldn't have been as dramatic if he used the green, or do the Zeo ones not work any more? Was the crystal destroyed with the destruction of the Power Chamber? Is it somehow related to his psyche? YOU TELL US. Or write me fic.)

Episode 276- The Secret of the Locket

2011-10-26T20:36:00.000-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, we get the best plot twist of the late 90's. Remember 1998, guys? I was 17. I did NOT see this episode coming, not at all. It's old hat now, but it seemed so novel at the time.

So we all know Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers (thus far), right? He lost his sister at a young age and has never been able to find her. Then his ~~boyfriend~~ best friend takes a hit for him and has to spend two years cryogenically frozen in the hopes of one day being healed enough to emerge. His entire planet is destroyed and the few survivors must scatter to the reaches of the galaxy. So what could possibly make poor Andros have an even bigger Sad? TODAY'S EPISODE, THAT'S WHAT.

So Andros finally gets to confront Darkonda about kidnapping Karone. He's a man possessed with this battle and honestly, as much as I get tired of the fighting, this battle is pretty epic and I could happily watch more of it. It would only be more amazing if he did it unmorphed. Because Andros is just a BAMF like that. He's almost had him destroyed, too, when Ecliptor distracts him long enough for Darkonda to escape. Then there is epic crying. Poor Andros.

Darkonda hangs out in the forest and does some major monologuing while setting up some hidden underground trigger which causes a bunch of lasers to fire. This bad guy seriously never stops talking to himself. Back on the ship, however, Andros lays in his dark bunk and has nightmares. Because that's what you do when your entire life has been one traumatizing event after another.

In what can only be described as beating us about the head with it, the shot of Andros holding the picture of his sister fades into Astronema holding a locket and asking Ecliptor where he found her. He says her parents and brother were killed by the power rangers and she was left on his doorstep, the only survivor. She thinks her brother is alive and he assures her otherwise, so she goes to attack Earth to make herself feel more evil.

It kind of works, until she sees a woman ushering her children away. The little girl falls and the little boy goes back to get her and Andros has to rush to their rescue. He launches on top of them to take the devastating blow coming to them, but Astronema attacks her own Quantrons to stop them from hurting the family. Andros is confused because clearly he has not been watching the same show we have.

Darkonda shows up and tempts Andros away from the battle. Ecliptor follows, because he's curious, as you are. Andros falls right into the trap, but manages to avoid stepping on the land mine altogether. He is unintentionally brilliant like that. There is another epic battle and Darkonda taunts Andros about Karone, saying she doesn't know he exists, etc etc etc. Darkonda then STEPS ON HIS OWN MINE. And blows himself up. Because Ecliptor got in the way and drew him out into the open. He intentionally saved Andros' life, and says it will just be this one time. Andros is thoroughly confused. Again, because he isn't watching the same show we are.

Andros is back in the main fight and ends up fighting Astronema. She's angry and confused and full of emotion, so she takes it out on him. He manages to cut off her locket and she is clearly upset, but has to flee before she can get the locket. Andros starts to look for the locket, but they have a monster to fight first. So some of the toys come out and we all know what happens here.

Let's get back to that locket, shall we? Andros is wandering around the smoldering battlefield when he finds it on some rebar. Astronema is also there trying to find her locket (I assume she still has it mostly because Ecliptor is really not as bad as he seems... he loves her, he's cared for her all those years, so he let her keep it... and mostly because I just really love this plot device). Andros opens it and sees his sister and himself, tiny pictures inside. He is shocked and pulls out his own locket with the same pictures inside. He knows she's Karone now. Astronema does not want to believe this. She knows it's true, you can see it on her face, but she doesn't want to believe it. She fights back and then runs away. Both are clearly overcome with emotion, unsure of what to do next and how to handle things.

So Andros finds his sister and then loses her, because she's the bad guy and he will have to destroy her to save the Earth. Oh Andros. Your Biggest Sad Ever just got bigger, poor boy.

2.5 fish. It actually made a fair amount of sense, for a Power Rangers episode anyway.

Episode 273 - A Date With Danger

2011-10-22T13:35:00.000-04:00

So um. I have mentioned I really like the villain/Ranger thing, right? (See Goldar/Jason, Scorpina/Adam, Scorpina/Aisha, eventually Trakeena/Damon and Lucas/Nadira...)

Yeah, so Astronema/Zhane is TOTALLY on that list.

Which is why I'm recapping this and not Queenriley, who just informed me that if she was doing it, the recap would consist of "BUT YOU CAN'T MACK ON YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!"

Instead I will talk about Astronema/Zhane and how they should have really great sex.

We open up in a fight scene. That's usually not a good sign, but Zhane and Astronema flirting/fighting is great, especially when Zhane tricks Astronema into shooting her own monster. He tries to attack her and Zhane comes to her aid, because... she's hot?

Meanwhile, the other Rangers have destroyed the other monster, and we hit theme song. Such a good theme song.

Zhane has apparently taken Astronema to a secluded spot in the woods. He's ditched the helmet, built a fire, and propped her staff up against the tree. Then she stares at his ass for a minute, and then pretends to sleep again. And then he brings her something to drink, which she promptly insults.

Zhane is sad that she doesn't like his cooking. Meanwhile, Astronema is all "I could destroy you right now" and Zhane is all "here, let me show you how to toast marshmallows with your staff."

Astronema, honey, if you don't take him, QR and I will fight over him.

Astronema tells Zhane that they're still enemies, and then thanks him for saving her. We get some more shots of his ass. SO GREAT.

Back on the megaship, Carlos and TJ are goofing around, and Cassie and Ashley are all excited that star crossed lovers is playing. Carlos has no desire to see it. CARLOS, THIS IS WHY ASHLEY IS IGNORING YOU FOR ANDROS.

Meanwhile, Astronema is daydreaming about Zhane. Because he's dreeeamy. She's too busy fantasizing to be bothered with details about destroying the Rangers.

Back on the Megaship, Zhane is laying in his bunk, with one hand holding up a picture of Astronema, and we see nothing else of him. Gee, I wonder what he's doing?

Then the girls interrupt and drag him off to a movie. Even though he had better things to do. Astronema decides not to send monsters to interrupt their movie and instead goes down herself, ditching the awesome hair. (Note: Carlos thought the movie was romantic. Clearly he was having a lot of fun during the movie.)

Zhane stares at the movie poster and fantasizes about kissing Astronema. Astronema in human!form knocks into him, and causes him to drop his picture. Then she shoots him a LOVE LETTER with his picture of her, telling him to meet her at the campfire at 5.

Elgar and Ecliptor try to figure out where Astronema is, and then they decide to just go ahead with the plan anyway, because they're sure that's what they would have wanted. This interrupts the five main rangers discussion of the movie + food, and this time the monster knows all about their weapons. Because of the first fight.

Back at the picnic spot, Astronema has set up the BEST PICNIC EVER. Zhane has run to the Megaship where he's busy primping for the date. And he's bought flowers for Astronema! But Zhane is interrupted because the monster is attacking and so he has to miss the date. SAD FOR EVERYONE.

Astronema is getting pissed that he's late, and Zhane is clearly trying to get this done as soon as possible. Andros punches Ecliptor and then Zhane knocks off the monster's horns and it grows. Zhane is all "I AM LATE. YOU GO KILL THIS THING." And they do. Which I don't care about, because toys fighting and can we get back to Astronema and Zhane's soap opera, please????

Zhane shows up with flowers, and Astronema blasts him because he's LATE. Now he's all covered in mud. Astronema is mad that he stood her up and he's like "I DIDN'T." Zhane tells her he wouldn't have been late if she hadn't sent down any monsters, and she calls him a liar and says he never wants to see her again. EVERYONE HAS A SAD NOW.

Back on the Megaship, Ashley gets elected to find out what's wrong with Zhane. She fails, so Andros tries. Zhane just makes a sadface at him. When he fails, Cassie tries, but he just walks away. SUCH A SAD, ZHANE.

Back on the satellite, Astronema crumples up her picture of Zhane, but she can't make herself throw it away. BECAUSE OTP YOU GUYS. THIS IS SO GREAT.

Fish: 3 So how did they get the pictures of each other anyway? How did Zhane manage to set up the campfire that quickly? How long did it take for Zhane to fight the mosnter and be late? (I DON'T CARE HOW MANY FISH THIS HAS, IT IS SO GREAT.)

Fic we want: ALL THE ZHANE/ASTRONEMA. SECRET DATING. MY FAVORITE. Also, Astronema being pissed at Ecliptor for screwing up her date.

Episode 274- Zhane's Destiny

2011-10-22T13:03:00.001-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, Zhane has a destiny. As if that wasn't expected from a 6th ranger.

Zhane and Andros are looking for some kind of energy source on a desert planet. They think it might be Zordon, but they can't seem to find it. The others join them but it's really hard going with all the sandstorms and then they totally get captured by humanoid lifeforms that nobody knew were there.

The beings live underground to avoid the storms. TJ is sure they're not going to hurt them because they put them in a cell instead of killed them initially. They discover they're in some kind of infirmary where people start turning into creatures, although the people who captured them accuse them of being spies (and turning people into coral). It turns out some of them are working for ~~Maligore~~ Dark Specter. Meanwhile, Astronema still has a Sad because she thinks Zhane stood her up and she likes him.

Despite Military Guy planting stuff on Ashley and insisting they're guilty, Old Political Guy refuses to back down and insists on treating them to the proper course of law. The rangers will get a trial. Good job, Old Political Guy! Military Guy is not happy about this, and immediately reports. Old Political Guy follows him and discovers everything, only to be captured by Military Guy.

Meanwhile, the rangers manage the easiest escape possible. Worst. Prison. EVER. Old Political Guy is turning into coral and they are caught trying to help him, although it looks like they did it intentionally. Luckily Andros and Zhane show up to save the day. Some of the people know them, however, because they escaped from KO-35. These people no long trust Military Guy, but he has a monster and in such a confined space... well... people turn to coral left and right. This episode is really weird.

But! We get lots of unmorphed fighting, of which I highly approve. More please! Alas, instead they all morph and go fight on the surface. SAD. Zhane chases Military Guy around the caves instead. Military Guy is actually Darkonda! Zhane has to fight him on his own... the others are busy with all the toys and a big monster on the surface (and as soon as they defeat him, which takes no time at all, the people turn back into people, so that's cool). Zhane fighting Darkonda? TOTALLY AWESOME! I will take more of that any day of the week. Old Political Guy helps Zhane and Darkonda explodes/runs away. Then there are lots of hugs. I also approve of the hugs.

The Karovians are leaving, the rangers help them carry stuff, and all is well in the world again. Except Astronema still has a sad since she's totally heartsick over Zhane. She's out for blood.

Except Zhane is totally staying with the Karovians. So that's his destiny? He stays to build weapons (and write secret love poetry to Astronema)? That's... kind of lame, actually. Andros is clearly not happy about this. He gets his boyfriend back, and then he leaves again? So not fair. So now Andros has a Sad too. Geez Zhane is good at tearing up the hearts of this family.

3 fish. Easiest prison escape in the history of prison escapes. They basically walked right out.

Episode 272 - The Silver Secret

2011-10-15T10:20:00.001-04:00

So Astronema is watching the battle, and she's all "Damn, Zhane is fine." She's also timing how long it takes for him to demorph, because she is the SMARTEST EVER. She discovers that Zhane is limited to 2 1/2 minutes, and really, Astronema, you may want to rethink your taste in men.

Why only 2 1/2 minutes? Why is it timed and not just a "you only have this much power" thing. Is 2 1/2 minutes of just standing there the same as 2 1/2 minutes of shooting things?

Back on the ship, Alpha is running a bunch of tests on Zhane. Cassie and Andros overhear Alpha tell Zhane that he doesn't have very much time, so they go tell the others that ZHANE IS DYING. Meanwhile, Alpha continues to explain the 2 1/2 minutes thing to Zhane.

OKAY. YOU DO NOT TELL SOMEONE'S NEWS LIKE THAT EVER. IT IS THEIR DECISION WHEN TO GIVE OUT THOSE DETAILS AND ALSO SCREW YOU. Also, eavesdropping never works well for anyone.

Cassie and Andros start babying Zhane and massaging him and telling him to put his feet up and then a monster shows up but they tell him to stay behind. The monster is all "call your little friend!" and they're all "Why do we need him?"

Zhane watches the fight and sees everyone get stomped on, and he decides that even with his 2 1/2 minutes or whatever, he's going to risk it. He shows up to save them, and Cassie and Andros are all "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Zhane's 2 1/2 minutes starts to run out and the others are all "nope, we got this" so he goes off to demorph somewhere not surrounded by people. Not that there are any people around, or that I even see why he would care about this.

Andros and Cassie again decide that they need to tell the others. Andros has held a meeting where he and Cassie tell them. The others assume also that he's ding, and Zhane overhears them and decides to have some fun with it, because he's a cocky jackass and I love him. The others all start babying him. Zhane asks for pie, and Ashley is all "Here!" and Cassie is all "BUT IT ISN'T GOOD FOR HIM" and then they start fighting and Zhane is trying not to crack up. (I am on Ashley's side in this one.)

Meanwhile, Alpha has figured out that Zhane's battery is just low. Zhane tells Alpha what's going on, and Alpha is all "tell them the truth!" which... he really should. Because making your friends think you are dying is a REALLY JACKASSY THING TO DO.

The others start to run off again, and when they forbid Zhane to go with him Zhane does try and tell them the truth, but Andros is like "later!" and goes off. Zhane is frustrated about not being able to morph, and then he decides if he gets hit by lightning he'll be fine, or end up with super speed or something.

So Zhane climbs a cliff and then yells SHAZAM and gets hit by lightning and somehow this fixes everything and I just. Really? They couldn't have just charged the battery back up or something? Lightning? Really? Or changed the battery in the morpher? This is ridiculous.

Zhane shows up to fight the ugly mantis thing and the other rangers get distracted by the Quantrons. Zhane gets all tied up and the other Rangers all run towards him dramatically and then the countdown ends and there's an explosion. Andros falls to his knees assuming Zhane is dead.

Then Zhane shows back up all morphed and is like "hey guys! Not dead!" Cassie, Zhane and Andros all shoot at the monster which destroys him until Astronema makes him grow. Fight, etc.

Back on the ship the others are mad about Zhane not telling him the truth and they make him clean. UM. ANDROS. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EAVESDROPPED ON A MEDICAL CONVERSATION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THEN TOLD EVERYONE, YOU JACKASS.

Fish: 4. Everything about that lightning was bullshit.

Episode 271 - Red with Envy

2011-10-15T09:58:00.000-04:00

This morning starts off with a Darkonda vs Ecliptor "battle". Darkonda wants him as a business partner, to conquer the Earth together. Ecliptor will be having none of that. I'd much rather they just fight. Because they are awesome.

Darkonda goes it alone, of course, and sends his Crocotox to Earth to spread toxins. In the oceans around Angel Grove only, apparently. Because Angel Grove is the only place that matters, as we have learned for the past 5 seasons. Meanwhile, on the MegaShip, Andros is clearly practicing for some Very Important Conversation. He wants to ask Ashley out on a date, but he has no clue how to do it. He really needs to just accept his love for Zhane and give up on Ashley, so she can go back to Carlos, whom she really loves. Andros, finally settled on a question, stumbles upon Zhane trying to teach Ashley how to use telekensis. She can't do it, but he's all "let me wrap myself around you and show you how as if we're on a date and I'm teaching you to play pool in a cheesy romantic comedy". Andros gives up his Sad for a Jealous.

They have to stop everything to go fight the Crocotox though. Andros and Ashley work together, only to have Zhane rush in to protect his boyfriend, and Ashley by association, and she calls him a gentleman. Andros' jealousy grows by leaps and bounds. For some reason, Ashley, who can totally take down monsters by herself, can't be arsed to fight. Zhane rushes off, Ashley wants to go find him, and they chastise him for being demorphed in public. He's an alien, I'm not sure it really matters. But it's foreshadowing, so I totally forgive them.

Andros attempts to be slightly mature and discuss his feelings with Ashley, except Zhane interrupts and Ashley, instead of saying "Just a minute Zhane, I'm talking to Andros right now", carries on a conversation. And then goes back to Andros like he's a second thought. Of course, Andros could totally just have said "I like you, let's hang out" but instead he sulks and says "forget it". He then takes it out on Zhane. So much for maturity. It would also help if Zhane wasn't being such a dick about it (even though I totally love him for it).

Oh boys. Zhane is only cock-blocking in an attempt to get his boyfriend back, not because he likes Ashley! If only Andros would see that. Zhane even does the whole flashback I-love-you-forever thing with ANDROS. Seriously, boyfriends.

I really hate the two guys fight over one girl thing. Same for two girls over one guy. It's ridiculous and nobody comes off for the better.

But then Zhane, remembering his undying love for Andros, goes down to join the fight. He doesn't care if Andros is mad at him, because they're ~~boyfriends~~ best friends and he's going to help, no matter what. And good thing, too, because the Crocotox catches the rangers in a net and kidnaps them all. They shouldn't have fallen for it, but they did, so whatever. Zhane will have to rescue them, which he does as soon as he gets rid of Ecliptor. How does he know they need help? Because ANDROS CALLED TO HIM WITH HIS MIND. THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS.

Zhane takes down Darkonda with his bike and Andros gets the rangers out of the net with his LASER, which he didn't think to use before. There is a big monster fight with all the toys while Zhane fights the other monster, doing a badass demorph right after taking it down (unintentional demorph, of course, but it was still super flashy). Andros is panicked with the need to find Zhane immediately after the fight is over. Oh boys.

Back on the ship, Andros apologizes. Zhane is a cocky badass, but all is forgiven. Ashley and Andros set up a date. Zhane asks Alpha for help with his demorphing problem (oh show, I can't stop laughing... poor impotent Zhane). Now Zhane has the Sad. Damn Andros, stop spreading the Sad around the ship, it's not fair to the others.

5 fish. I really don't like the fighting over another person thing.

Episode 270 - Survival of the Silver

2011-10-12T20:18:00.000-04:00

So did you know it's the best time of year? It's Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange time! Sign-ups are now open so if you haven't done so already and want to join in on the fic-giving fun, head over to AO3 and sign up. If you don't have an AO3 account, you can request a code from either TSB or myself. We're happy to share.

Today on Power Rangers, the Rangers go on a hiking trip through the desert to find... rock samples? No clue why they want rock samples. But Carlos is totally seeing things and TJ decides to make fun of him. Because TJ is awesome. What Carlos really sees is invisible Jawas. This is apparently not Earth, despite looking very much like it. They decide to morph and fight mere feet from the MegaShip. WHY? Why fight? Why not just run into the ship and fly away? It's not like they were fighting a monster or defending Earth or something. They invaded the Jawas home, not the other way around. They do eventually do just that, but not before something invades the ship and does damage to the engine.

While fixing the engine, Cassie discovers a hidden door. Carlos follows her, but TJ and Ashley are talking about the ship and don't notice. Cassie is totally transfixed by Mysterious Frozen Man (complete with penis shape on the readout of the vitals monitoring equipment... nice). Carlos calls the others in and everybody is really really confused. Because there is a FROZEN MAN on the ship that they had no idea about.

Andros realizes the others are someplace they shouldn't be and decides to spill his dirty secret. He introduces Mysterious Frozen Man as Zhane, the silver ranger, mortally wounded in the battle of KO-35. Zhane was his ~~boyfriend~~ best friend and was wounded saving his life. ZHANE TOOK THE BLOW MEANT FOR ANDROS. This is totally one of my things, guys, and this is yet another reason why Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers... at least until RPM. TJ is totes understanding. Carlos is all supportive. Ashley just wants to know why he never told them (gee, I wonder why... he barely knows you people).

Cassie goes to check the rock sample and discovers an egg that has hatched into some weird insect monster thing. She fights him off all on her own, because she is super awesome, but then he locks her in the cargo bay with him. Cassie is able to open the cargo bay door and gets him sucked out into space while she clings to a pole. It was not her brightest idea, but it worked... temporarily. Because apparently this monster can breathe in space and is clinging to the side of the ship, causing a lot of damage, and an emergency landing.

They go out to fight. Jawas get on the ship and Alpha has to threaten them with the karate he knows (which must be the hip hop kido Zack taught him). They all fail at fighting a whole lot. And MYSTERIOUS FROZEN MAN FLAT LINES IN HIS TUBE! OH NOES! Andros can sense that something is very wrong, drops his sword melodramatically, and screams NO in slo-mo. Because that's how he rolls when his boyfriend pretend-dies. He is going to make them pay.

But wait! He doesn't have to! Because ZHANE WAKES UP! And saunters out of the MegaShip in all his silver glory, apparently with no side effects from having been FROZEN FOR TWO YEARS (which really doesn't work, but it's Power Rangers, so I'll roll with it). And totally saves the day, while being awesomely shiny and super cocky. Oh Zhane. Never change. Back on the MegaShip, Zhane and Andros have a dorky friendship greeting and then run off to fight. Andros and the Earth Four go to fight the big insect thing. Zhane says hi to Alpha, though how he knew about Alpha I'm not sure. It's not like they had a lot of time to talk about what's happened in the past TWO YEARS.

They totally win and get back on board to see Zhane boasting to Alpha. Andros corrects his story and there is happy boyfriend smiles and hugs and DAW! BOYS! Ashley is smitten with Zhane, which hello, you were just macking on Andros the past episode, and she is really bad at picking up on the BOYFRIENDS thing. Andros drags him off to his bunk to ~~make out~~ catch up on old times.

2.5 fish. It was pretty solid. Also, BOYFRIENDS.

Episode 269 - Invasion of the Body Switcher

2011-10-12T20:05:00.000-04:00

And we're back! Look, real life sucks (see both grad school and computer issues) but it is RECAP TIME. And we have some amazing episodes to recap.

Or at least I remember them being amazing. The last time I watched them. LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS, SHOW.

We open with Ashley's birthday. TJ tries to steal some of her cake, and Carlos asks her what she wished for, clearly hoping she's wishing for him. Cassie, meanwhile, is assuming Ashley is wishing for Andros. Of course, since Carlos gave her a fire extinguisher.... um. I can think of a few things they could do with that. Yeah.

Andros tells Ashley that they don't celebrate birthdays on KO-35 but he got her a necklace anyway. WAY TO UPSTAGE CARLOS'S POSSIBLY KINKY GIFT, ANDROS. Cassie is clearly jealous that Andros is going overboard with the gift.

Dark Spectre is yelling at Astronema for failing, so she summons a body switcher to make her into a Ranger, and he turns her into Ashley. EVIL ASHLEY IS SO GREAT, YOU GUYS. (Tracy Lynn Cruz said at Morphicon that this is her favorite episode. I am not surprised.)

Ashley and Cassie are debating over whether or not Andros likes her, and Cassie is doing the supportive best friend thing, until she TOTALLY FAILS to notice that Ashley was just kidnapped right there. Ashley tries to escape, but Astronema/Ashley summons some Pirahnatrons to fake!attack her while real!Ashley is dragged off, and wow, we were getting pretty close to some panty shots there.

Astronema!Ashley fake fighting the Pirahnatrons is AMAZING, by the way. She's so annoyed when one of them actually hurts her! Astronema!Ashley then decides they should go back to the Megaship, where DECA helpfully tells her where the engine is, so Astronema!Ashley blows her up.

Cassie asks Astronema!Ashley for some help but Astronema!Ashley is bad at things. She's about to blast Cassie when they cut away.

Astronema!Ashley then ~~has sex with Carlos~~ adds more weight to Carlos's weightlifting and then blasts him, and then they have more sex.

Meanwhile, real!Ashley convinces the monster to turn her into Astronema. Ashley!Astronema convinces Elgar that she's the real Astronema and he lets her go. BECAUSE SHE IS GREAT.

Astronema!Ashley runs into Alpha who is giving her a birthday present, just because they're friends, and she is so confused. It's a tiny little figurine that plays music, and Alpha could clearly turn Astronema good. Astronema!Ashley is so confused and needs SO MANY HUGS. And then she dumps the figure in the trash. :(

TJ and Andros are getting worried about the surveillance issue so TJ goes looking for everyone while Astronema!Ashley is dragging Carlos' unconscious form around the ship. Then she beats them both up. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS GLORIOUS.

Anyway, TJ, Carlos and Cassie are all tied up and Astronema!Ashley nearly zaps Andros but he turns around. Instead she convinces him that there's a battle down on earth and she ends up falling on her face. She's about to shoot him in the back where Ashley!Astronema shows up but Astronema!Ashley convinces Andros that it's a trap and they both attack Ashley!Astronema.

Andros, you are not very good at figuring out when your friends are evil. Meanwhile, Alpha is saving the day by untying the other Rangers.

Ashley!Astronema convinces Andros of the truth by asking Astronema!Ashley what Andros got her for her birthday. When she can't answer, Ashley!Astronema tells the truth causing Andros to believe her. Astronema!Ashley demorphs and turns back into regular!Astronema, and the two Astronemas fight each other. The Rangers (including the freed ones) try to figure out which one is the real Ashley, so they ask her to do the Morph call. Only the real!Ashley knows it, which makes me wonder if Astronema just doesn't pay any attention to their fights.

Astronema says she wouldn't want to be a Power Ranger anyway. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. UM.

Elgar tries to attack the real!Astronema and for some reason she doesn't kill him. Instead she makes the monster grow and there's a fight scene. It is luckily a very brief fight scene because so much of this episode was taken over by AWESOME. (Seriously, phallic toys, sword, missile, destruction.)

Astronema says the monster was useless anyway, and then she blasts Elgar. Yay!

Back on the Megaship, Ashley is scared to take her helmet off because she's afraid of what she'll look like. But she's Ashley again! Everyone is happy. Cassie exposits that when the monster was destroyed it switched her back. Ashley tries to thank Andros, but he has wandered off somewhere to have the saddest sad that was ever sad. Because there is someone FROZEN in a tube.

DUN DUN DUN.

QR: WELL HELLO THERE MYSTERIOUS FROZEN MAN! Complete with penis.

Fish: ONE. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS GLORIOUS. WAY TO LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS, SHOW.

Fic we want: Seriously, what was Astronema!Ashley doing with the Rangers when she had them tied up? And what exactly did she do while she was in Ashley's body?

Episode 268 - True Blue to the Rescue

2011-09-28T20:21:00.000-04:00

Awww, Justin has grown on me SO MUCH since we first started doing this. *pinches his cheeks* To the point that I'm actually excited that Justin is going to be in this episode and actually requested to be the one recapping it!

Aww, it's the Turbo cars! And they are... chained up and being whipped. This is disturbing. Poor vaguely sentient not!transformers! You escape your chains! Or at least Storm Blaster, you escape, since poor Lightning Cruiser does not.

So then we cut to Divatox calling Astronema, who is all "so I lost this little Storm Blaster" thing, and we see a "special guest appearance by Blake Foster!" which yay! Oh right, and Divatox and Astronema are arguing about catching Storm Blaster first, but more importantly we get Divatox mocking Astronema, which is hilarious and awesome.

The Rangers are all excited to see Storm Blaster being chased, except for Andros who is all "WTF, it's a car." That is a valid opinion, Andros. The team morphs and comes to Storm Blaster's aid, and TJ is all "HIIIIIIIII, I'm wearing Blue now! So you're my car!" The team gets caught, and Storm Blaster drives off again.

We cut to Justin! Who still has really bad hair. His dad is telling him to go to bed, but Justin is busy wishing on a star that his friends are ok, and we get a bunch of flashbacks to Turbo, including one of the episode where Justin should have joined the Avengers.

Justin's dad is all "Yeah, I know we had plans, but I'm going to work" and Justin is all "WTF, I gave up Rangering for this? You fail!" Justin hears Storm Blaster outside, and immediately sneaks out of the house.

Justin asks how Lightning Cruiser is, and Justin's car is all "GET IN NOW" and Justin barely hesitates before getting in. There's an ET ripoff scene, and then we cut back to the Rangers being all chained off in the warehouse again. This is of course where Justin and Storm Blaster are going to, and Justin sees that they're all chained up, but he has no powers, oh no! He gets attacked by Quantrons, and manages to fight them off without the monsters inside noticing.

Somehow, Justin gets back into Storm Blaster, and Storm Blaster hands over a new version of his morpher. Um. Where did that come from? And why don't we actually get to see him morph? But he shows up anyway, and is all "you forgot one small thing. Of course, I'm not so small right now." And I'm sticking by the theory of baby!Justin turning into SUPER HOT ADULT BLAKE FOSTER when he morphs, so yaaaay.

There's a pretty decent fight scene or whatever, and Justin is all "WHO IS WEARING MY COLOR????" but he's pretty cool with it once he figures out it's TJ. Really, TJ, you didn't call him once?? It would be one thing if this was like the first episode or whatever, but um, this is midway through the season.

Storm Blaster and the blues shoot at the monster, which gets knocked back. The monster grows, and Justin is all "Okay, so I'm done now, have fun!" TJ is all "You will LOVE the new toys" and we get a fight scene.

Storm Blaster honks at them some more, and they go off to rescue Lightning Cruiser, and the others show off their galaxy gliders. They offer to show Justin, but he's all "I have a car. HA."

There's another fight scene where they beat up some Pirahnatrons and rescue Lightning Cruiser. Justin is all "I'm worried about you guys! (and I miss you)" and the team is all "we loooove you" and they do the once a ranger thing before remembering to introduce him to Andros, who is from the space colonies. Exactly when did Earth colonize space?

Justin (who has saved the day in his pajamas, because he is awesome) is all "so if you need me, call."

Back in Angel Grove, his dad sees a father and son bonding, and decides that maybe he should spend time with his kid. Justin manages to sneak in just before he does, and they decide to go fishing. Considering Justin was out all night, he's going to be REALLY tired.

Also, still the worst dad ever.

Fish: 2.5. So um, where did the spare Turbo morpher come from? Can Justin still morph later on? Does he get to keep Storm Blaster? These are important questions that must be answered!

Episode 267- The Rangers' Mega Voyage

2011-09-28T19:47:00.002-04:00

Shana tova everyone! We are BACK! And we start the new year (the Jewish one anyway) with Power Rangers! What better way to ring in Rosh Hashanah, eh? (or, as Matt Austin Sadowski wished us on his twitter "Happy JewYear")

So we start out with a fight. A fight? Really? That... does not bode well. It's two big monsters and they're going after the Megazord. Carlos notes that reserve power is about to go out. This must have been one heck of a fight. Alpha has worked out one of the key cards and I have to wonder why he was doing that instead of helping with the MEGAFIGHT, but whatever. He's found a super awesome weapon that they conveniently have juuusstttt enough power to go get.

One of the monsters goes after the rangers. Astronema is all badass with a card playing monster we saw when there was Sword Fighting on my Power Rangers. She's very much with the "torture is fun!" and manages to get lots of information about the key cards. Very helpfully provided to us, the viewers, in the form of clips from the previous episode. Way to waste a clip show.

The rangers find the Super Awesome Weapon while the other monster is attacking Alpha and DECA. They aren't really doing much in the fighting back bit. Unfortunately, Astronema totally wants that weapon and heads them off at the pass. Andros is sure he's found the weapon because he totally knows it when he sees it, but Cassie provides drama by FALLING DOWN dramatically as the door closes. She jumps right through just in time, sealing them off from Astronema. This is not an exciting chase scene. They need to take some pointers from Indiana Jones.

The weapon is really five new zords. Four of which are conveniently positioned around a very phallic looking rocket. OH SHOW. Zordon left the New Toys because he totes trolls the rangers. They take the New Toys back to Earth and fight the monster. I'm wondering what happened to the monster that was supposed to be following them. Is he just chilling out in space? Just kind of milling about enjoying the view? They ARE on one of Jupiter's moons. That's got to be one pretty sweet view.

There is a boring fight. It is almost as boring as JDF (did you hear he's this years NPS guest? I... really could care less. I used to live near the dude. Didn't care then, either) The New Toys rescue Alpha and DECA just in time. There is dramatic music. It's not nearly as epic as Rick Astley. This episode is still boring.

(this episode is made so much better by the Spousal Person helpfully playing Rick Astley in the background for the whole 20 minutes... which might have been irritating if I didn't unironically love Rick Astley.)

5 fish, for being utterly boring and forgettable.

Episode 265 - T.J.'s Identity Crisis

2011-09-07T20:44:00.000-04:00

Awww, the team is playing basketball! How adorable are they? I really love the various team building things where they play ridiculous sports, and I'm even willing to buy the matching outfits, because... adorable. Also, TJ is clearly hooking up with EVERYONE on the team, and I approve of this.

Anyway, DECA disturbs the basketball game to tell them that they've arrived on some planet and Andros points out that if someone sees them the whole mission is worthless. Of course, there's Darkonda. HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR BRIGHTLY COLOR CODED CLOTHING, EVER THINK OF THAT???

Back on the ship, Carlos asks Andros about the technobabble that's going to scan the galaxy really quickly or something.

Darkona sneaks up on Astronema, who is super annoyed with him for that. Darkonda is all "Ecliptor sucks" and Astronema is mad on his behalf. Why is this season not about Ecliptor and Astronema and how they are awesome? Ecliptor storms in and Darkonda spills the beans on the satellite. Darkonda and Ecliptor then blow up the scanner with Darkonda being all threatening about telling Astronema something, and somehow this causes the Rangers to lose the lock they had on Zordon. UM, YOU HAD ALREADY LOCATED HIM OR WHATEVER.

Anyway, time for a fight scene. Darkonda tries to kill Ecliptor or merge with him or somethign, because Darkonda is a GREAT villain and then we get Darkliptor. Darkliptor freezes Ashley and Cassie, and Andros tries to be one of THOSE reds and just run and attack even though TJ is all "DUDE, YOU NEED A PLAN." TJ takes a blow that was meant for Andros and goes down HARD. Carlos also gets all frozen or whatever and Andros takes the unconscious TJ back to the ship, leaving the others on the planet.

AND THEN WE FIND OUT TJ HAS AMNESIA AND LIKE, FAVORITE THING EVER.

Um, I have mentioned my love of amnesia before, yes?

TJ runs through the megaship and we head over to where Darkliptor has the other Rangers. Astronema seems to be buying Darkliptor's claim that Ecliptor had attacked Darkonda, or at least she's all "eh, he's caught three of them. Useful." She orders him to destroy the three Rangers, but he claims they're needed as bait. ASTRONEMA IS THE SMARTEST, EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO HER.

Back on the ship, TJ is still confused and Andros tries to jog his memory. TJ denies that he's a power ranger and Andros goes down to the planet himself.

You guys, this episode needs so much more of TJ not remembering that he's dating Cassie and/or Andros and them being all "CUDDLES!" For an episode that is supposed to be about amnesia, I am not getting the good parts of this trope. :((((

Andros is getting beaten up, while TJ explores the ship. He finds a basketball and somehow this makes him start to remember or whatever? Pfft. He then finds his locker which has pictures of the team , and he manages to teleport himself to watch the battle. He morphs and is still confused about being the blue ranger, and Darkliptor immediately attacks him. TJ is about to get killed when Andros saves him, and THEN TJ remembers.

Look, this is the biggest waste of an amnesia plot ever. WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS????

TJ remembers Andros, since apparently they are totally dating, and the two of them attack Darkliptor together. They trick him by throwing weapons and then blasting him and the amount I don't care about fight scenes or whatever. When Andros hits Darkliptor he splits back into Darkonda and Ecliptor and Astronema is all "what???" Darkonda recombines with Ecliptor just as Astronema makes them grow. Zords are summoned and Darkonda separates from Ecliptor again to make Ecliptor get destroyed instead of them both. Astronema proves to be a moron and believes Ecliptor attacked Darkonda, and declares him to be Ecliptor's equal. I am more concerned with whatever it is that Darkonda is blackmailing Ecliptor with, because I don't remember.

Back on the ship, apparently the technobabbley device is broken forever. TJ doesn't seem to remember what basketball is, so Carlos and Ashley are totally unconcerned about this and are just all "We are so going to beat them" but TJ is faking it. (Also, I choose to believe that TJ, Cassie and Andros are having a threesome.)

Fish: 3. HEY, WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS?

Fic we want: Take a guess

Episode 266- Flashes of Darkonda

2011-09-07T19:32:00.002-04:00

So I was going to try to do something really awesome this past weekend while TSB was at DragonCon. I thought about recapping the first episode of Gokaiger or VR Troopers. Then I thought I'd go way back and really hit my nostalgia button and do the first episode of Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog. Instead, I read books two and three of A Song of Ice and Fire and alas, you all suffered the loss. Sorry? Only not really because new obsession.

Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.

TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?

So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*

Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.

Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.

4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).

Episode 263 - Grandma Matchmaker

2011-08-31T19:34:00.000-04:00

Oh hey! DragonCon is this weekend! If you happen to be at the con, I'll be on the Power Rangers Samurai panel, Friday at 4!

Right, so this episode. Everyone I've spoken to (hey, Mark!) has gone all "UGH, I AM SO SORRY" but... Ashley and Carlos go on a date. I can't hate this episode.

UM, I HAVE MENTIONED I SHIP ASHLEY/CARLOS, RIGHT?

We open in the park, when a taxi pulls up, and a woman in the most hideous outfit ever gets out. Seriously, green overalls, and a pink hat, and watermelon earings? She's Ashley's grandmother, who apparently takes fashion lessons from Claudia Kishi. She has a file with her that apparently contains info on Ashley's future husband.

Did I mention that the grandmother is a HORRIBLE ACTRESS?

Anyway, I don't actually have a problem with matchmaking plots, because.... seriously, most fanficcy trope ever, y/y? And frankly, Ashley's grandma is TOTALLY a Jewish grandmother. Seriously, I know her. I do find it a little creepy that her grandma is talking about kids while Ashley is in high school. (Okay, maybe not a Jewish grandmother - she's not pushing food on her.)

Ashley decides to get out of it by introducing Carlos as her boyfriend, and grandma immediately starts molesting him. She is so creepy.

LOOK, I DON'T EVEN CARE BECAUSE ASHLEY AND CARLOS ARE GOING TO GO ON A DATE AND MY SHIPPER HEART IS DELIGHTED.

Communicators go off, and Ashley and Carlos try to run off, but grandma follows them to ask about drink options. Meanwhile, the other Rangers are getting their butts kicked by a monster who lays really bad eggs. They destroy the monster, but she's laid her eggs all over the city.

Carlos is all "look, we can't just PRETEND forever" and TJ is all "SURE, GET MARRIED." TJ understands.

Carlos tells Ashley's grandmother the truth, and Grandma clearly sees that they are MFEO, so she decides they should go on a first date. The other Rangers think this is HILARIOUS, but to be fair, if someone tried to force me into those shirts, I would agree. They go to an amusement park with the other Rangers spying on them, and grandma constantly calling to interrupt and give bad advice and insist that they hold hands.

Also, she makes them share a milkshake.

LOOK, I AM JUST SAYING, THIS SHOULD END WITH CARLOS POINTING OUT THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO PRETEND BECAUSE HE REALLY DOES LOVE HER, AND THEN THEY MAKE OUT.

Anyway, the date gets interrupted by the bugs hatching and starting to eat the whole city, including BUILDINGS. Ashley's grandma refuses to leave without Ashley, so Ashley leaves with her while the others Morph to take care of the plague of locusts.

The weapons are eaten by the bugs, and clearly the bugs should be hanging out with Pudgy Pig. The bugs all combine into one monster which starts to beat them, so Alpha calls her to hurry up. Ashley calls out at her grandma for smothering her, and a random cop selects Ashley and her grandmother to escort out of the chaos, ignoring all the other people running around. Ashley shoves her grandmother at the cop and heads off to the battle, but grandma is not having it, so she flips the cop and steals his car.

You go, badass grandma!

Ashley is about to get beaten by the monster, when grandma hits him with a cop car. She tries to do it again but has somehow lost control of the car and... I don't even know. This stopped making sense a long time ago.

Grandma is all apologetic about interfering but Ashley tells her that no, she's great, and wonderful and she has a grandma just like her, and she wouldn't want her any other way. Ashley then defeats the monster, which grows after and we get a fight scene or whatever. The bugs try to eat the zord, so the new toy is summoned to shoot the bugs off them. Whatever. They they punch the bugs. The end.

As everyone carries grandma's stuff to the cab, we discover that grandma is now matchmaking for Adelle.

Fish: 4.

Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER IF THERE SHOULD BE ASHLEY/CARLOS OR SOMETHING.

Episode 264- The Barillian Sting

2011-08-31T19:17:00.001-04:00

Today on Power Rangers- Carlos is hot. And there's a bug. But mostly, Carlos is hot.

So we start out in a forest that TJ calls "weird". It looks like any other forest they use for Angel Grove, so I don't see what's so weird about it. They're apparently looking for Zordon. Unfortunately, Ecliptor has laid a false distress signal. They're chasing ghosts. Also unfortunately, Ecliptor is interrupted by Darkonda. He wants to get involved in everything. Ecliptor doesn't like that plan. These two really don't like each other.

TJ finally figures out it's a trap. There is a fight with quantrons. At least it's unmorphed? Darkonda releases a bug that looks like a large bit of plastic dancing about on a string. It stings Carlos. TJ and Cassie take him back to the ship. Good thinking, because that was a freaking HUGE bug.

Carlos is then shirtless! MmmmmshirtlessCarlos. Unfortunately, he now has weird patterns running up his arm and across his chest, which are supposed to be his veins showing, but mostly they look like marker. I really don't care about that because he's shirtless. And have I mentioned that Carlos is freaking HAWT???

On Astronema's ship, there is infighting between Darkonda and Ecliptor. Astronema isn't quite sure what to think of this new guy. She is pleased, however, that Darkonda took out Carlos by using a Barillian bug. She is the smartest!

TJ and Andros run around the planet looking for the bug and they run into Darkonda instead. He likes to taunt them. I can't help but like this guy! They chase him on their galaxy gliders through the forest, and he releases the bug on them. Somehow this bug is insanely fast because the GALAXY GLIDERS, y'know, THOSE THINGS THAT TRAVEL LIGHTS YEARS IN MINUTES, can't outrun it. I really don't care about this bit, as I just want more shirtless Carlos.

Andros finally catches it and confirms that the bug is a Barillion bug and Carlos is turning into one. They have to go get an antidote. OH NOES! I'm guessing this is how they procreate? I dunno. Makes no sense. We DO end up with more shirtless Carlos, but unfortunately it's Carlos in bug form. Not nearly as pretty as Human Shirtless Carlos. He escapes. The others stalk the ship trying to find him. Lucky for them, he leaves a slime trail. I do wonder, who's going to clean up all that slime?

They find him and he stings Cassie, leaving what looks like a nipple on her neck. Good job, show! They restrain her with something that clips together with car seatbelt latches. Really? THAT is going to hold her? Uh... okay then. TJ and Andros chute down to the planet to get the antidote. Darkonda confronts them and Andros sends TJ back with the antidote while he fights Darkonda alone. I... still don't really care about this at all. I still want more shirtless Carlos.

Cassie transforms as well and both she and Carlos go after Ashley. They're about to attack when TJ shoots them with the antidote. Good job, TJ! You have impeccable timing. They turn back into themselves and alas, Carlos is now fully clothed and no longer shirtless. I have a sad of Andros proportions.

There is a big morphed fight on the planet. I still don't care. Darkonda makes a big bug and he grows giant and they call out all the toys. They totally win. Duh. Then Andros is broody on the roof of the hospital, remembering his sister in those awful flashbacks with the poor bad-hair-styled children. I'm glad we aren't subjected to too much of that.

3 fish. It was a mediocre episode. And there wasn't nearly enough shirtless Carlos.

Episode 262 - The Great Evilyzer

2011-08-28T10:43:00.000-04:00

So the professor is creating some new device that will turn people EEEEEEEEEVIL. I don't think that good and evil quite work that way, but I am seriously hoping that I will get evil Rangers out of this. Also, then the terrible trio gets attacked by an evil robot thing, so hey! Points. Ecliptor steals the evilyzer, and laughs evilly.

... So why would someone WANT to build an evilyzer anyway? No, seriously. WHY?

On the bright side, we should get some evil Rangers out of the deal!

Astronema tells Ecliptor to test it on the Rangers (YESSSSSSSSSSS) but she has a bigger plan.

Ashley and Andros are on some planet with really heavy gravity which causes Ashley to fall over. Once they're back on the Galaxy Glider, Ashley and Andros show off for each other, and... that is not how space works. Ashley's glider gets hit by the evilizer and tries to throw her off and AGAIN, THAT IS NOT HOW SPACE WORKS.

Apparently the gliders are programmed to be good. UM. THEY ARE GLIDERS, THEY ARE NOT SENTIENT. THEY DO NOT HAVE GOOD AND EVIL SETTINGS. Although I really wouldn't be surprised if my router was permanently set to evil. So you know. Maybe I could believe this.

CASSIE, YOUR HAIR. Is this a symbol of her going evil? Because HAIR.

The Rangers morph because there's some disturbance in Angel Grove, since there's some monster. They shoot at it, and then it vanishes, only to be met by TWO monsters. And then more monsters. Astronema makes one of them grow, while the others are apparently tough to defeat even while they're small.

Andros summons his new toy and Astronema uses the evilyzer to turn it evil. Look, I don't care about evil Zords, I wanted EVIL RANGERS. HOW DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT THIS WITH NO EVIL RANGERS.

The Delta Megazord starts destroying the city, and man, the space rangers are going to have a lot to explain. They should call Tommy for some tips. Andros decides that the smartest way to fight an evil Zord is to summon the OTHER zord. Andros orders the Delta Megazord to stop being evil, and it looks like it works, but the evil!Zord is smarter then they are and it shoots them a lot. You go, evil!Zord.

They hit the Delta Megazord with some frequency that should jam the evil although it is overheating the Zord. The Delta Megazord heads to space and the Rangers follow it and try to link with it to find out if it's still evil. THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLAN. But for some reason it works.

The combined Megazord beats ALL the monsters by punching them. What were the monsters doing while the two Megazords were fighting? I mean, they should have helped the evil!Zord.

Astronema threatens to destroy Elgar for talking too much, which would have redeemed the episode. Sadly, it doesn't happen. Andros and Ashley find Ashley's EEEEEEEEEVIL glider, which she then fixes. The terrible trio is still running from the evil toy.

Fish: 5! WHAT A WASTED PLOT DEVICE.

Fic we want: NO SERIOUSLY, WHY WERE THEY NOT EVIL?????

Episode 261- The Delta Discovery

2011-08-28T10:27:00.000-04:00

Did you know we just hit 100 followers? That's right, 100 of you read our craziness. And not just because you have to, but because you want to! You guys are so awesome! I never thought we'd reach this point. Thank you, all of you, for taking the time to read our recaps. It means a lot!

And hey guys! We get Divatox again! And today I link to Star Wars instead of Star Trek. For a change.

So Divatox has Zordon in his tube thingy and he's being consumed by lava. LAVA IS EATING HIM. It's... special. But we get to see Divatox again so that's all good! The Phantom ~~Menace~~ Ranger is observing. He sends a recorded transmission out. "Help me, Power Rangers. You're my only hope!" Yeah, he's totally Leia.

So the Rangers go to his coordinates, where he has confronted Divatox. But then Astronema comes in and takes Zordon away, sending her goons to attack. The Rangers are all concerned about Zordon but really guys? You met him all of once! We're of the opinion Tommy and Adam kept in touch, because they're totally addicted and couldn't just give up the power, and have spoon fed the new Rangers stories of Zordon and his epic fails.

Meanwhile, Divatox must grovel to ~~Maligore~~ Dark Specter for her job, while Astronema gets all the credit. She runs off in the ship with Zordon. Phantom continues to fight. It's all very dramatic. Or not. Mostly because I don't like Phantom. Ecliptor shows up to take out Phantom (YAY!) but then the Rangers show up and stop him (SAD!). He runs away.

But then there is a crocodile monster thingy in the lake on Earth. It's totally stalking random guys on the beach. This episode is all over the place. The Rangers go back to Earth instead of chasing after Zordon, except Andros has to go get something by himself. Phantom hands him an iPod and Andros goes off on his own. Phantom collapses, badly damaged, with wires and circuitry and stuff hanging out. So... is he a robot? Or is that just his suit? In which case he isn't all that damaged after all.

On Earth there is a random fight with the crocodile monster thing. It molests the boys a little and then grows big and there are zords and WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???? Suddenly there are two crocodile monster things and they decide they need some help. They ought to be able to handle this on their own, but since when has this show been terribly consistent? Oh well.

Somehow Andros has caught up to the Delta Megaship. He was on his GALAXY GLIDER. AND HE CAUGHT UP TO THE SHIP. IN DEEP SPACE. He traveled light years in seconds WHILE ON A SURFBOARD. The lack of even attempting science in this BOTHERS ME.

Andros must insert a tiny cd from the iPod into a slot, but he doesn't know which one and Phantom won't respond. He picks one and there are red flashy lights and it was apparently just scanning it? That... is special. Now the Delta Megaship is his and he takes it to Earth to fight off the two crocodile monster things. It transforms as it enters the atmosphere. And it has a lot of guns. Which is also... special. They totally win. Are we surprised? I didn't think so.

Dark Specter yells at Astronema for failing him. He threatens to crush her in her sleep if she fails again. It's all good. She has a PLAN.

The Rangers head back to where they left Phantom, hoping to help him. He left another communication for them to let them know he's left to follow Dark Specter. Cassie has a sad because her imaginary boyfriend left. She ought to try to focus on a REAL boyfriend who can be PRESENT in her life. Except Phantom won't let her because he totally left her a message all her own, letting her know he's okay and please don't forget him. LET THE GIRL MOVE ON, DUDE.

3 fish. The science fail is strong with this one.

Episode 260 - The Wasp With a Heart

2011-08-18T20:32:00.000-04:00

QR wants me to let everyone know that wasps are evil creatures who should all be destroyed. Considering that bugs in general freak me the hell out, I am TOTALLY OKAY WITH THIS PLAN.

Of course, I also love monsters with a heart of gold episodes, so yay for this!

Still, I'd much rather be talking about alien strippers.

So we open with the wasp prancing around in the flowers and shaking his ass at the camera, when his brother shows up to yell at him for wanting to smell the flowers. He tries to be evil to please his brother.

The professor insists a beehive is an alien pod, even after Skull calls him on it. (QR thinks I should link to My Girl, but I am going to SPARE ALL OF YOU, BECAUSE NO.) Skull starts to yell at the professor when the wasp shows up to skip after them.

Seriously, do bulk and Skull have monster-attraction or something? Cassie is sent to check on the disturbance. The Wasp is REALLY BAD AT THIS, and we get pantsless Bulk, Skull and the Professor.

Cassie fights the stupid wasp, who is like "Why are you fighting me?" and she's all "MONSTER, DUH." He almost manages to beat her, but then his conscience gets the better of him. He doesn't destroy her even when he has the chance, and in exchange, Cassie stops the other Rangers from destroying him.

The wasp dreams about being evil, but he can't hurt an old man. He's very conflicted about this. Ecliptor reminds him that he doesn't have a heart and tells him to attack a birthday party that Cassie is at. Some kid is really upset that Quantrons are letting her balloons go and the wasp feels guilty about it. Cassie gets a pretty nice unmorphed fight, but she's outnumbered by a LOT. The Wasp is told to destroy her, but he can't do it, blasting the Quantrons instead.

Astronema and the Wasp's brother show up and they fight, and Cassie is very concerned for her new wasp boyfriend. First a Phantom, now a wasp - Cassie, honey, TJ is still available. Cassie morphs angrily after glaring daggers at Astronema. Of course, as soon as she morphs, Astronema runs away, and they have to chase after the evil!wasp on their spaceboards while the city gets blown up.

Somehow, Cassie's gun thing is sonar? Or something? She locates it by randomly shooting and then that knocks the evil wasp back to Earth. Evil!Wasp summons bees and this is why I will never be a Ranger, because I would RUN THE HELL AWAY. CREEPY.

Evil!Wasp grows and there's a fight and I got distracted because one of my friends was talking about Amy Jo Johnson's tattoos on flashpoint and also blue rangers, which is WAY more exciting than fight scenes, frankly. The Rangers win.

Cassie bonds with her wasp boyfriend and she tells him that being nice isn't a failure, and he wishes that he was human. The little girl from earlier is still crying, and the wasp starts crying as well. He turns himself into a wasp and flies away, and somehow locates the little girl's balloons. Everyone is sure he'll be good forever, but um, clearly at some point someone will unknowingly KILL HIM.

Because he is a WASP. UGH.

Fish: 2. More wasps then fish this time.

Episode 259- The Craterite Invasion

2011-08-18T20:29:00.001-04:00

This whole recap is one big link to Star Trek. Just fair warning.

It's the Boy Who Cried Wolf episode! I wondered when we'd get one of those.

Patrick is a Tiny Child who tells tall tales. He lives in the only apartment complex in all of Angel Grove. This is making me RAAAGGGGGEEEEE. Because Patrick is black and all the white kids we see live in super nice houses. FAIL SHOW. We also never see nor hear mention of a father. FAIL AGAIN SHOW. And his mother clearly works long hours and he's a latchkey kid. FAIL HARDER SHOW, I DARE YOU.

On the MegaShip, the rangers are training! On the holodeck! I love that they train. Good for them, staying on top form! Unfortunately, there is a space wave that causes some major computer malfunctions. It even screws up the ~~holodeck~~ simudeck. The craterites they were training with are suddenly real and can leave the simudeck. They jump off the ship and parachute down to Earth. With big swirly white parachutes. The craterites are fabulously horribly PINK. And I HATE pink. Especially Pepto Pink, which is what these are. Gives me heartburn just watching.

Patrick sees them and hides under his blanket. In the morning his mother has made his lunch and must rush off to work, so neighbor lady will take him to school. At least we're getting to see a parent? She does seem like a good mom, which is two times as awesome as this show usually is.

Patrick gets himself ready and knocks on the door, but neighbor lady doesn't answer. Patrick looks in the window and sees a craterite family. He runs out and everywhere he goes he sees more craterites. He tries to go tell the police officer, who doesn't believe him, because Copper is a craterite too! Patrick is the only one who can see them for what they are apparently. Of course nobody believes him and Tiny Child has a Sad that could rival Andros.

Meanwhile the Professor and Bulk and Skull are trying to track down all the aliens. They are kind of failing. Cassie and Carlos aren't having much more luck even though THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY THEM. Cassie and Carlos try to find out what's wrong with Patrick and His Sad, so they walk him home. What happened to school? He asks if they'll come in, but they have stuff to do, and Carlos reassures him with the Power Rangers looking out for him. Patrick totally doesn't believe him. I DO NOT BLAME YOU, PATRICK.

Ashley finds a construction worker tied up in a van. She calls TJ and Andros and they figure out all the workers are craterites. They are holograms with personality! It's only then they figure out they've all taken human form. YOU THINK? THEY ARE HOLOGRAMS. THEY CAN TAKE ANY FORM THEY WANT. There is a fight and it is boring and we spend most of it talking about how this episode is just an excuse to link to ALL the Star Trek (did you know TOS, TNG, Voyager, and Enterprise are streaming on Netflix? You do now. Now go watch some).

The rangers figure out Patrick really was telling the truth and rushes to his aid. They get him out of the apartment only to be attacked by more craterites. Luckily his mother drives up in their minivan and ushers him inside to drive him to safety. And then, somehow, Andros and Cassie mysteriously end up in a forest. The others manage to save them with some spiral sword thingy. It's supposed to send the craterites back into their holodeck program, but it doesn't work. It just makes them turn into one really big craterite and they have to call the Astro MegaZord. DO NOT ASK. I DO NOT KNOW EITHER. They manage to take it apart like Santa does to Oogie Boogie. However, while Oogie Boogie is made of bugs, the craterites are made of FISH. Entirely of fish. It's the only explanation.

Back at the Surf Spot, Bulk and Skull use the SPACE ALIEN STRIPPER to turn the aliens back into humans. Except all it does is take off their clothes and leave them in their underwear. Everyone laughs. Oh show. SPACE ALIEN STRIPPER! SERIOUSLY SHOW! We want fic of this now... Zhane hires one. And then Andros hires one because it's tradition okay? AND THERE IS LOTS OF STRIPPING AND IT'S FUN.

3.5 fish. Because science doesn't work that way, Pepto Pink is gross, and... giant craterite what the hell???

Fic we want: Space. Alien. STRIPPER. 'Nough said.

Episode 258 - When Push Comes to Shove

2011-08-13T11:13:00.000-04:00

JOHNNY YONG BOSCH HUGGED ME AND EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

Oh right, recap. So.

Cassie, your HAIR.

I love that she scrapbooks. Or has a diary. Or whatever. It is very charming, I'll give her that.

Meanwhile, the professor is showing off his new fuel, with which he is going to send Bulk and Skull to find aliens. Look, for the millionth time, ALIENS ATTACK THE CITY EVERY WEEK. Meanwhile, some reporter is causing a panic about the fuel exploding, which of course the professor nearly knocks over, but then BULK SAVES THE WORLD. Astronema is then thinking about knocking over the building that the professor's lab is in. Astronema, bb, I love you, but why not just shoot Bulk so he drops the bottle? (Not that I want her to shoot Bulk! BULK IS AWESOME.)

Ashley and Cassie are discussing their dreams, when Cassie suddenly realizes that she lost her diary, (Ashley tells her to calm down) which contains a picture of her as the pink ranger (and then Ashley tells her IN THAT CASE, DON'T CALM DOWN), and this is where I have a RAGE BLACKOUT. She's bothered by two guys named George and Lenny (REALLY SHOW) who then blackmail Cassie into a date.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

Lenny does not look comfortable with this whole situation, but WORD OF ADVICE. IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE, BLACKMAILING THEM IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DO IT.

George is really obsessed with talking about how great Lenny is. I am shipping George/Lenny a bit. George is monopolizing the date so Cassie makes him go get her a soda. Cassie is all "I WILL FIX LENNY" which is frankly stupid, because HE BLACKMAILED HER INTO GOING ON THIS DATE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIX A BLACKMAILER. HE IS NOT JUST SOME CHARMING MISUNDERSTOOD AND MISGUIDED GUY. HE BLACKMAILED YOU WITH YOUR DIARY. THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF DOUCHEBAGGINESS.

This episode would be much improved if the "push came to shove" part was Cassie shoving them off a cliff.

Lenny promises to give Cassie her diary back at the end of the date. IF HE WANTED TO BE A DECENT PERSON THEN HE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DIARY BACK WITHOUT MAKING HER GO ON THE DATE AT ALL.

Anyway, the restaurant that they're eating in turns out to be the same building that the Professor's lab is in, so of course Astronema is knocking it over with some elephant monster. Lenny refuses to leave without Cassie, but then he gets knocked out by falling debris.

Carlos and Andros are flirting over chess when they get summoned to fight.

Somehow Cassie and Lenny get locked in with the radioactive plutonium reactor.

Andros summons the new toy to get them. Cassie is about to morph to get out of there, when the Rangers finally show up. The Rangers defeat the monster.

Lenny and George show up, and Lenny says he can speak for himself and offers Cassie back the diary, and Cassie says he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. He says then she wouldn't have gone out with him, and she says all he needed to do was ASK. NO CASSIE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUT WITH EVERYONE WHO ASKS YOU, AND YOU ESPECIALLY DO NOT NEED TO REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR WITH A DATE.

And then she makes Ashley go out with George.

NO. NO NO NO NO NO. YOU ARE A BAD FRIEND. Lenny may have learned not to be an asshat, but GEORGE HAS NOT, AND YOU DO NOT SET UP FRIENDS WITH ASSHOLES. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH BOY TROUBLES.

Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.

Episode 257- A Ranger Among Theives

2011-08-13T10:09:00.001-04:00

And we're back, ladies and gentlemen!

We start out on the ~~holodeck~~ Simudeck doing some fighting against a holographic monster. Hey look! They actually PRACTICE! AND the kids have to take tests in school. Andros wanders the halls while they go to class. I can't believe they remembered they were actually in school!

At the Surf Spot, a greasy sleazy kid is wandering around taking money out of women's purses. Andros is sitting there trying to eat a banana. A girl, hanging with the sleazy boys, offers him the advice of peeling it first. Let's see... the greasy boy is dressed all in black, the girl is snarky, and the other boy is background scenery. They are defiant and rude. Could they BE any more obvious? Andros shows his mad physics skills by telling them how to play pool.

Outside, they are trying to break into a car. Andros sees them and offers to help them get into their car. We meet Chuck (greasy boy), Suzie (snarky chick), and David (background boy). You can tell they are Bad Seeds because they give Andros bubble gum. What naughty awful kids. Who get an eyeful when Andros jumps out the car, stops a purse thief, gives the old woman her purse back, and refuses a reward. Because Andros is clearly the GOOD GUY. He gets back in the car and tells his new "friends" that he hates thieves. OH ANDROS. Can you BE any more dense? I'm not sure it's possible, but the season is still young...

A monster is doing something at the power plant and Andros must stop him. I totally LOVE the morphing sequence for this season. It just... I just... yeah. There is a small fight I pay very little attention to and then the monster runs away.

It is here that Andros realizes his new friends are the thieves. Oh Andros! I've spent most of this episode saying that. He's so clueless. He's even upset that they tried to be his friends and yet they steal cars. He storms off in a fit of Glorious Emo Sadness and David tries to go after him, but Chuck stops him. Which is a good thing because the monster then attacks and Andros has to jump in, unmorphed, and save his new Bad Guy friends. Chuck is ready to completely abandon him and just runs off. David and Suzie go back to help fight. So apparently we're getting the Misunderstood Bad Guy episode.

Ecliptor confronts Andros. Suddenly he's not at the power plant but out in a field somewhere near power lines. Ecliptor kicks his ass. Because Ecliptor is AMAZING. Lucky for Andros his Good Guy Friends show up and Carlos uses DECA's new weapon to get rid of Ecliptor. Then they have to go fight the big monster. Whom I really don't care about. I think we all know what's going to happen next right?

Chuck is trying to hotwire a red Jeep, but the cops get him first. The Rangers are looking over their test scores and Andros decides to tell Adele about her stolen van (the thieves, of course). She tells him to wait because there are two other people who need to talk to her first. It's David and Suzie, the Misunderstood Bad Guys. They give the van back and she forgives them. They offer to help her clean and she GIVES THEM JOBS. Because she is awesome (although I still miss Ernie *tear*)

3 fish, mostly because Andros is Mr. Oblivious.

Episode 256 - Satellite Search

2011-07-31T10:53:00.001-04:00

Elgar. REALLY? Do we need to have him? He's busy shooting a satellite, and Astronema and her awesome new hair informs him that he should make sure it's been destroyed. Back on the Megaship, the Rangers get a call from NASADA, since they are apparently in trouble. Some exploration satellite of theirs is missing, and NASADA is all "we have no spacecraft to make the journey" and I'm just sad about the space program again, and Ashley realizes that the thing on the satellite that Astronema doesn't want them to see is probably Zordon.

Elgar is relaxing while Quantrons do all the work. Astronema yells at him, because she's awesome. After noticing the Rangers are on their way, she decides to send them a welcoming attack. The Space battles aren't that bad! But I am a fan of ridiculous space battles. The Rangers head down to the planet, where Alpha tries to warn them about a volcano, but they're having communication problems.

.... Why are they on Jupiter, why does it only have two moons, and why is it solid?

The Rangers fight Quantrons and Elgar runs away and the Rangers hear some sort of beast which makes them nervous. Astronema yells at Elgar, and I would watch a whole episode of her just beating him up.

The Rangers lose communications entirely and Ashley sees a dinosaur skeleton. Too bad Tommy isn't around to ride it. She does find a piece of the satellite by it, and that leads them to the whole satellite, although if it crashes, I don't see why all the pieces would be that close to each other. Andros retrieves the data discs from it, and Astronema shows up to attack. (THEY ARE USING CDS ON A SPACE SHIP. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS.)

Astronema is totlly holding her own against Carlos and Cassie, because she is that awesome. During the fight Cassie knocks off Astronema's magical plot trinket necklace, and Astronema is PISSED. She blasts Andros and takes the CDs while Andros is collapsed at her feet, and she instructs Elgar to tie them up. Hey, my theory about Astronema's harem is even more plausible!

Instead of destroying the Rangers there, she decides to just stake them to the ground and let a monster eat them for lunch. That... Astronema, involved plans don't work, just kill them.

Andros uses his telekinisis to get the discs out of Elgar's pocket, because he's a failbot, and some giant... thing shows up. DECA and Alpha are flirting while they look for the Rangers, and the computer love is so cute. Alpha spots the Rangers, and forms the Megazord to go down and help them Seriously, those two would make great Rangers. :D They do a fairly good job piloting the Zord! And they keep complimenting each other and it's adorable. The Zord gets knocked off a cliff and nearly falls into a volcano, but Andros manages to get his laser with telekinisis, so he manages to free the Rangers. We aren't sure why he's having so much trouble with it, maybe it has to do with heatstroke? The Rangers all leap into the Zord and proceed to destroy the monster.

Astronema realizes that Elgar lost the discs, but for some reason she doesn't destroy him. Although she does send him to play with Scrudley, and SERIOUSLY, ASTRONEMA, YOU ARE GREAT.

NASADA thanks the Rangers for helping them, and they wonder if the stuff they needed was on the broken disc. The Rangers plan to use the Simudeck to vacation in Switzerland to go snowboarding.

Fish: 1.5 JUPITER, REALLY?

Also, we aren't creating a SPACE DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT tag, because um, we would have to tag the entire season.

Episode 255- Never Stop Searching

2011-07-31T10:27:00.002-04:00

And we're back!

We open with Carlos proving that he's better with space transportation than Earth transportation, because he totally fixes the red Galaxy Glider. He stumbles upon Andros watching a video (who shot this video, we have no idea, don't try to throw logic into Power Rangers) of Tiny Children with Horrible Hair. Tiny Boy makes a ball for Tiny Girl to practice telekinesis on. Tiny Boy runs to catch the ball and Tiny Girl screams for Andros. Tiny Boy Andros runs after her, only to discover her taken by some dark shadow. He asks Deca to help him figure out who the dark shadow is, because he's never going to stop searching for his sister. Andros has a sad! And now Carlos, having seen the video, has a sad for Andros. He can't stop thinking about the Tiny Children. Andros continues to search for lifeforms. He tries going back to KO-35, in a galaxy which has apparently been deserted. Hello other Convenient Plot Device!

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are traveling with the Professor. He tells them about aliens hatching and hands grabbing and poor Bulk has an overactive imagination. They stumble upon a watermelon the Professor is sure is an alien. Oh, Professor. Bulk throws the watermelon in fear and it breaks over the three of them, an actual watermelon.

Back in space, Andros has reached KO-35. He shutes down to the deserted planet to see if he can find his sister. It's creepily empty. And there is no sign of Karone. Carlos can't sleep and goes to eat breakfast with the others... and their colour coded napkins. Andros is nowhere to be found and the red Galaxy Gilder is gone. Carlos explains what he learned about Andros the previous night, even though he's not supposed to know any of it and even though he hasn't talked to Andros about sharing this VERY PERSONAL SECRET. He decides to go check up on Andros.

Ecliptor has come to destroy KO-35 and is delighted to find Andros there already. He goes down to the planet to attack Andros. Why he didn't just blow up the planet with Andros on it I have no idea. You'd think that would be the easiest, quickest way to get rid of him... especially since he wouldn't know the attack was coming until the planet was all exploded around him.

Luckily Carlos came down to see how Andros was doing, because he interrupts the fight just in time to save Andros. He even jumps in front of Andros to save him from a direct hit! Good lord this is hitting ALL my favourite tropes. Andros drags poor Carlos back to Deca to help him. I didn't ship it before, but I SO DO NOW.

Andros, being Emo Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land, blames himself for Carlos. Aw, guilt. He refuses help and goes back to fight Elciptor all on his own again. Oh Andros. You need to learn to work with your team! Lucky for him they aren't about to let him deal with this on his own, so Cassie, Ashley, and TJ go after him once they realize he's missing. Even Carlos joins the fight, despite being beat all to hell and barely able to stand on his feet. HE WILL NOT LET HIS TEAM FIGHT ALONE! AW, CARLOS! He's also the smartest because he totally set up Alpha and Deca to use the Megaships weapons to blast Ecliptor from space.

Back on the Megaship, Andros apologizes for getting Carlos hurt. Carlos tells him he knows about Karone and if Andros will let them, they will help him find his sister. Because they're a team. And that's what they do. Andros acknowledges they work well together as a team and accepts the help. Aw.

Covered in food: Bulk, Skull, and the Professor covered in watermelon. I wish we didn't have to bring this back.

Episode 253 - Save Our Ship

2011-07-23T19:01:00.000-04:00

Sorry about the hiatus, you guys. Real life sucks. A lot. But we are back now, and hopefully on a schedule.

I maintain that the title of the episode is referring to the Ashley/Carlos ship, which the show decided to take from me. *SOB*

So we open on a ~~holodeck~~ simudeck, where Ashley and TJ are doing some training against some really ugly mooks, the Craterites. Alpha calls the Rangers and tells them they're arriving at Earth, and Ashley asks Andros if he's ever been to Earth before. Her alien fetish is REALLY SHOWING, AND HI, ASHLEY, WHAT ABOUT CARLOS???

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull are stargazing, looking for a new comet. Instead they spot Astronema's base. They are pretty good at finding the bad guys! This is why they are seriously big damn heroes.

Astronema notices that they're taking the shuttle to Earth, and then Elgar shows up. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Astronema tells the quantrons to throw Elgar off the Dark Fortress, but Elgar claims that Dark Spectre sent him.

The Rangers discover that the Surf Spot has replaced the Juice Bar, and while Adelle is pretty great, I miss the Juice Bar. :( Andros looks very confused, and then he sees a surf board on the wall. Adelle asks him what planet he's from after he asks her what a surfboard is, and he tells her KO-35, and she laughs. Okay, that's actually kind of adorable.

Adelle brings the Rangers some fries even though they haven't ordered them. Because she TOTALLY KNOWS that they are Rangers. Ernie and/or Lt Stone totally let her know to be nice to them. (We are shipping Adelle/Ernie right now, because we can)

Andros uses his telekinis to put hot sauce in Bulk's drink. Yeah, Bulk was being a jerk to Skull, but that was a total dick move. (QR disagrees with me, but she also likes Andros and I don't.)

Skull starts loudly talking to Bulk about the space ship they saw and whether the professor will believe them, and then they run off. Because of this, the Rangers realize that Astronema has followed them back to Earth.

Bulk and Skull make it to Professor Phenomenous' place, and his awesome mailbox has a speaker attached, where they tell him they've seen aliens. Why is this a big deal? People have been invading Earth for 5 seasons now! Why is aliens suddenly not believable? I mean, last season there were monster tours.

Andros notices that they're being followed, and the Rangers turn around to see Quantrons, and we get some unmorphed fighting. And also TJ and Carlos have gone shopping for clothes in their new colors at some point. Alpha calls them and everyone morphs.

The Professor + Bulk and Skull are driving in the van of awesomeness, when it breaks down in front of NASADA. The Professor insists that the NASADA sign is actually an alien, and Bulk asks him for ID. Of course, at that exact point the Quantrons teleport in.

Meanwhile, the Rangers are attacked by Ecliptor. HE IS SO AWESOME. SO AWESOME. He and Andros fight one on one, while Astronema and her awesome hair decide to destroy the shuttle. Ecliptor heads out, and it looks like the shuttle might be destroyed and we get some GIGANTIC EXPLOSIONS and... then they just go into the shuttle and take off? Okay then. I am not really going to argue.

Astronema is the best, and I love her. Ecliptor grows, the Megazord is formed, and you know how this all works. Seriously, we are running out of ways to describe Megazord fights. It is cool for the spaced based part and the re-entry onto Earth, and Ecliptor is pretty awesome, especially when he makes seven of himself, but... yeah. We have seen this all before. Ashley uses her helmet mode and figures out that the real Ecliptor is the one in the center. Really? That would have been my guess as well. It looks like Ecliptor gets blown up by the Megazord, but he is far too awesome for that.

Ashley challenges Andros to a game of pool, and he uses his telekinisis again. Ashley thinks its incredibly hot. They offer a trade of pool lessons for telekinisis lessons. I... don't think telekinisis works that way, but I'll totally take it.

Astronema has changed her hair again, and she is fabulous. Except then we get the lead into the Turtles.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU SCREW UP A POWER RANGERS/TURTLES CROSSOVER. HOW?

Ugh, I may have to go marathon the Turtles movies. EVEN TMNT3 IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.

Fish: 2. Mostly for you know, the ending. How does Astronema know about the Turtles anyway?

Fic we want: Um, there have to be some creative uses for the Simudeck, right?

Episode 254- Shell Shock

2011-07-23T18:35:00.000-04:00

It's the Ninja Turtle episode. Even Emo Kid was confused by this episode, spending most of it asking "But WHY are the Ninja Turtles on Power Rangers?".

Somehow the Turtles know about Astronema being the Princess of Evil. Raphael insists the Power Rangers are just comic book characters. Astronema decides they're going to work for her and puts them under a spell. THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT.

But I do still love this theme song. *is a dork*

Andros explains the galaxy gliders, but the lesson gets turned into a crash course when they have to ride them down to Earth because Astronema is going after the power plant. For having never ridden the gliders before, the Earth rangers are astonishingly adept.

They confront the monster, but the turtles show up first and I kind of love that Ashley is the first one to point out who they are? But the rest of the fight is just... weird. WHY ARE THE TURTLES HERE? I JUST DON'T GET IT. Are they from an alternate dimension? Because I can't figure out how this works.

Andros is suspicious. He's not entirely sure about giving a lift to talking mutated turtles. The others don't care and drag them up to the ship against his wishes. They give the turtles the complete tour, with full answers to classified information and everything. Somehow nobody but Andros picks up on the fact that they are asking A LOT of questions about the MegaShip. Deka detects a hacker and Andros rushes to her rescue, but he's too late. Wires are snipped and the turtles turn her to their side. Somehow. By snipping some wires. Or something. Whatever... this is the least of the fishy bits in the episode.

Astronema teleports in and takes control. The rangers are all confused because their new pizza loving friends have turned on them. Astronema ties up the rangers in glowy ropes of doom and Andros has to use his super awesome telekinetic powers to get some bolt cutters over to snip those ropes of doom. They hijack the shuttle in order to get free and the turtles give hot pursuit. Somehow they hide the shuttle in a reverse polarized magnetic field out in space. SOMEHOW. I DON'T KNOW HOW. THE SCIENCE HERE IS... NOT. I STILL DON'T GET THIS EPISODE. WTF IS EVEN GOING ON?!?!?!

Amazingly the magnetic field broke the spell on the turtles. They are good turtles now who try to stop Astronema and then have to fix the ship so it doesn't self destruct. They manage to do this simply by reconnecting the two wires they snipped in the first place which somehow aborts the self destruct sequence immediately without any further input. THIS REALLY SHOULD NOT WORK. I HATE THIS EPISODE.

So then they team up and fight and it's boring and stupid and makes no sense. The rangers take the turtles back to New York. How this works I do not know. Someone(s) had to be higher than a kite when they conceived this plot, wrote this episode, and then filmed and edited it. THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION I WILL ACCEPT.

5 fish. All the fish of the season.

Side note: Why oh why does the female turtle have BREASTS on her plastron (bottom of the shell)? She's a reptile. Not a mammal. This bothers me maybe more than it should.

And special guest viewer Emo Kid has requested twice that we watch a different episode. BECAUSE THIS IS JUST THAT BAD. SPD time now. Because I need something good after THAT mess.

Episode 252 - From Out of Nowhere - Part 2

2011-07-02T09:39:00.000-04:00

Previously - AWESOME EPISODE WAS AWESOME.

Ok, let me get this out of the way first. I don't particularly like Andros. QR loves him. We both have a lot of feelings. (BITTER SHIPPER ME IS STILL BITTER. Also, Andros is not my particular brand of emo.)

So the five Rangers run out to face the Quantrons, and it is so nice to see some awesome mooks after the Pirahnatrons. Plus, unmorphed fighting for the Earth Rangers! Awesome.

So the Red Ranger nearly gets stabbed in the back by just standing there and watching the Rangers, but Ashley yells at him and he doesn't get sliced in half. Cue awesome theme song.

The Rangers win the battle and Andros demorphs. And this is where I am bitter. BITTER ASHLEY/CARLOS SHIPPER IS BITTER, OKAY? I never got over that. Ashley is all "OOOOOOOOH, PRETTY" and she's all "you're HUMAN" and Andros is all "What, there are humans on other planets" and the others are all "aliens!" like that's weird. UM, HI, YOU GUYS, ZORDON??? You fight all the time.

I do love that Cassie totally mocks Ashley for her obvious flirting.

Meanwhile, Carlos is busy trying to fix Alpha. Because he is awesome and techy and also needs hugs. TJ and the others are discussing their plans, and Andros fills them in on what happened. Andros is all "that gives me some time to rescue him" and the others are like "Yeah, we're all in this together" and Andros just basically tells them that they suck for being planetary Rangers since they know nothing about space.

Andros fixes Alpha's voice, and THANK GOD we get the ay yi yi yi yis again. SCREW YOU, OLD VOICE. Then he's all "I'm going to fix your shuttle so you can go back to Earth." Ashley comes over to see him, and she asks him about his home, and he says he never goes back to KO-35. Ashley figures that he doesn't like accepting help, and my dislike of Andros/Ashley is making me grumpy. GRUMPY.

So he leaves them on the planet and he's a jerk. So we're in for a lot of Red Ranger learns not to be a dick episodes. The Rangers are all "so we should go protect the Earth" and then they realize that Alpha is still on the ship. Meanwhile, they get attacked by Quantrons. MORE unmorphed fighting.

Back on the Astro Megaship, Alpha tries to convince Andros that he's an idiot. He repeats that they should be a team, and DECA backs Alpha up. Alpha/DECA OTP? Alpha points out that Andros is going to need help, and he thinks about the other four Rangers and decides to go back. Alpha is so pleased with himself. Oh, Alpha, I love you so freaking much. ♥

The Rangers are getting their butts kicked and are introduced to Astronema. Oh, ASTRONEMA. I love you so freaking much. How are you totally the best and hottest villain in PR history? She totally hits on Cassie, and it's amazing. She orders their DEATHS even, but luckily for the Rangers, that's when Andros shows up to rescue them. He hands them their new morphers (and I love the space morphers) and it's time to morph. Which is a great morphing sequence.

So, costumes. I think the color bar thing looks ridiculous. But I love the weapons. I do wish that one of the girls had a close ranger weapon instead of just shooting stuff.

They beat the Quantrons, but some of the X-Wings show up to shoot them, so they head back to the Megaship, where we find out that Alpha has programmed the black box from Turbo to do something. I kinda want Andros to hang out with Harlan from Space Cases.

They check the screen and find out that they're being shot at just before they get hit, and Alpha announces that the shuttle can link with the Megaship to form a Megazord, and it's part of Zordon's master plan. ZORDON, YOU GENIUS YOU. This is the best Xanatos gambit ever, and the Rangers form the Megazord, which... love. :DDDD Even Astronoma is impressed. Well, before she yells to destroy them! I love her so much. Seriously, HBIC.

So we get a tour of the ship and DECA keeps showing off her knowledge, and Andros turns her voice off. You FAIL, Andros. Andros says they need to fix the Megaship since it's not ready for a long distance voyage, and the Rangers suggest that they can go to Earth. Because apparently NASADA can fix an alien space ship. Right. Sure. Maybe Billy came back and is working at NASADA. That would explain some of it.

Of course, all they do is send Astronema to Earth, so fail. Still. This is EPIC.

Fish: 2! EPIC EPISODE IS EPIC.

Episode 251- From Out of Nowhere Part 1

2011-07-02T09:35:00.001-04:00

Hey guys! Guys! We're on Power Rangers In Space!!! This is going to be awesome. Expect our recaps to be polarized. We both love this season, but we have different FEELINGS about it. :D

There is a huge Evil Party! Zedd makes jokes about Rita! And Divatox is totally bragging about blowing up the rangers. THERE ARE PUTTIES! AND COGS! AND OMG THIS IS THE BEST PARTY EVER!!!!!!! Oh but there is a masked figure wandering the crowd. And then Divatox gets blasted by some purple electricity. Because Astronema is there!!! I love her.

AND WE GET NEW AWESOME THEME SONG!

I'm just so happy we get to see Rita and Zedd again. :D I LOVE THEM SO. ~~Maligore~~ Dark Spectre shows up and makes a toast. Weird hooded guy keeps staring at Astronema. She totally knows he's a spy. Because he didn't drink during the toast. Because... I don't know why. But Robed Hooded Figure kicks some major bad guy butt all on his own! And his cloak comes off and he's TOTALLY THE RED RANGER. Like we didn't all see THAT coming. He escapes on his galaxy glider and then Divatox and Rita argue over who is going to go get him. Astronema wins and she wasn't even in on the fight.

Meanwhile, Cassie, Ashley, TJ, Carlos, and Alpha are still in the shuttle. Alpha is malfunctioning. His speech chip was damaged and YAY NO MORE ANNOYING VOICE! A spaceship comes up and pulls them in. They are, understandably, a little hesitant to go wandering, but TJ is brave and awesome and leads them all out of the shuttle anyway. IT IS THE ASTRO MEGASHIP AND I LOVE IT SO. They are being watched by it, but they don't know that yet. They are REALLY BAD at sneaking.

They find the engine room and Carlos sort of figures out there are cameras on the wall, but he totally doesn't get that it's Deca and she's sentient. ANYWAY! They keep exploring, more boldly this time, wondering if there is anybody else on the ship. Ashley finds the replicator and makes herself something to drink which leads Carlos to find still hot food and assuring them somebody was there at some point.

They find the bridge and are totally awed by it. Alpha starts pushing buttons and reveals that they're near a planet. TJ wonders what planet it is and it's totally Jupiter, but probably supposed to be something else.

But then Mysterious Red Ranger has an Epic Space Battle and I ADORE ANDROS, OKAY? He catches strange people on his bridge, OH NOES! Because Andros is delightfully anti-social. And runs away, literally. They use a Jefferies tube to get to a lower level of the ship and find him, but then he totally tries to beat them up in the hallway. We like this because it means lots of super hot ass shots of the cast. This is one damn fine looking group of people.

Astronema attacks the ship and manages to disable it within a few shots! She's so awesome. The ship is losing power, so the rangers all head to Engineering, y'know, where they were before and saw the warp core. TJ notices a cable unplugged and reattaches it, just in time to keep the ship from destroying itself by crashing into ~~Jupiter~~ Mysterious Non-Gas Planet That Looks Like a Gas Giant From Space. Instead they have a controlled crash on a rocky surface. THERE IS EPIC MUSIC! While Andros looks for "the intruders". There is no time for questions, though, because Astronema is right behind them.

We learn that Astronema's little mooks with bat'leths are called Quantrons. I prefer to call them Klingon Mook. So I just might. Andros runs out of the ship to go fight. The others follow because they are such Big Damn Heroes.

TO BE CONTINUED!

2 fish.
OMG THIS IS SO AWESOME.

(side note: I really need a team in space icon, if anybody can point me to one...)

Season 5 Roundup

2011-06-29T21:38:00.000-04:00

Highlights!
The ships! Cassie/TJ, Ashley/Carlos and Adam/Tanya are all adorable.
That was one hell of a season finale.
TJ is a great red. Seriously, the whole second team is amazing.
Being baked into a pizza is never not going to be amazing.
VIVA LA DIVA!
Justin should join the Avengers. He should also date Nico and/or the Beetleborgs and/or Molly Hayes.
UNMORPHED FIGHTING.
Carlos is a SUPER HOT VAMPIRE.

Lowlights!
Ashley and Cassie fight over a boy. BOO.
Phantom and the BS are both awful.
Honestly, the whole first half of the season. The team dynamic just did not WORK.
There were a hell of a lot of 5 fish episodes.
And also a lot of REALLY BORING episodes. And frankly, the really boring ones are worse than the bad ones.
Turned into bugs, are you kidding me????
Some REALLY BAD MORALS. The Kat episodes come to mind ESPECIALLY.
Also, Kat, you are not Justin's mom. Just stop.
THE WAY ROCKY WAS WRITTEN OUT. WHAT.
No Zordon. Especially since that means Dimitria and Alpha 6 exist.
Way too much Justin focus at the beginning of the season.
Everything about the Cassie's dog episode. EVERYTHING.
Justin's dad is the worst.

Episode 250- Chase Into Space Part 2

2011-06-29T21:30:00.000-04:00

IT IS THE END OF TURBO! FINALLY WE HAVE REACHED THE BLESSED LAND! Er... what I mean is, uh... series finale ftw?

So the Power Chamber is under attack. TJ and the others rush out to attack the Piranhatrons before they get inside. All they need is an elf and a dwarf and the atmosphere would be complete. There is all the fighting in all the land and, for someone who doesn't actually LIKE the fighting on this show (I know, right? I watch the wrong show), this is a pretty epic battle. Even the cars get in on the fight!

The rangers are forced to retreat back into the Power Chamber. They try to seal out the piranhatrons with a security lock and blast door, but it won't hold them for long. For some reason, though, the piranhatrons retreat. Justin gets a little scared, understandably so, and he and Carlos have a bonding moment while waiting for the battle to resume. OMG YOU GUYS, THERE IS EVEN A BATTERING RAM.

So of course they get through. Straight up the wall with grappling hooks, straight through the door with the ram. This is one epic fight! I might actually enjoy the fighting if they were all like this. The rangers really ought to just teleport out of there, and Alpha even tries, but they refuse to leave. Carlos assures them no piranhatrons will get by him, Ashley, and Justin, except they totally do! Because nobody expected them to come POURING IN THROUGH THE CEILING! BEST FIGHT EVER.

The Power Chamber is in total destruction. It is AMAZING. Elgar even destroys the plasma tube so Demetria and Zordon can't come back. He then uses bombs to blow the place to smithereens... with the rangers inside. Divatox is clearly the most awesome villain ever. She is the only one to get this far in the near destruction of the rangers!

She can't seem to find the rangers in all the rubble, though, and we discover they are actually there, but hiding. Because somehow they made it through the explosion. Meanwhile, a messenger from the Sumerian Planet tells Divatox that Zordon has been captured and she is to report for evil duty. She refuses until she finds out it's for Dark Spectre and then she's all over that. Hierarchy of evil and all that.

Coast clear, the rangers come out of hiding. The suits are ripped, they're injured, they're dirty. The powers leave them and then they have a disagreement. Carlos wants to go to the Sumerian planet. Cassie and Ashley want to stay. TJ wants to go as well. Meanwhile, Alpha is looking for the black box, the box that holds the power decoder. It has secret codes. For what is unclear. Justin has an idea to get them to the Sumerian planet. He rushes to NASADA but they won't let him through the door, so he sneaks in with a car instead.

He needs to see the Commander, so he finds mission control. JUSTIN IS THE SMARTEST. He gets in through the ROOF. AND NOBODY SEES. BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME. He just makes it into the control room when guards catch him and try to haul him out. He yells about having a message from the rangers and the Commander stops them. He needs to hear this. Justin whispers something in his ear and the Commander just HANDS OVER THE SPACE SHUTTLE. Clearly Zordon set this up ahead of time.

Somehow a launch is arranged in the span of like, 5 minutes. They all rush to the shuttle, buckle up, even Alpha, and get ready to head out. Justin refuses to go, though. He wants to stay with his dad and THEY ARE ALL AWESOME FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT HIM AND WILL MISS HIM!!!!!!!!!!! So into space they go, a perfect liftoff. (I do not know what the rest of their families will be told, or if they'll finish high school ever, or what, but I don't care because it was the greatest episode)

To Be Continued Next Season with Power Rangers In Space!

4 fish. It was AMAZING but still kind of fishy.

Episode 249 - Chase Into Space - Part 1

2011-06-29T21:23:00.000-04:00

So Justin is getting his dad ready for some important interview or whatever, and his dad is a giant failbot who can't even remember his briefcase. We spend a while trying to remember when the hell his dad came back. You can tell how little we cared.

Meanwhile, Divatox is really excited that apparently the most powerful monster in the universe has showed up. She's seriously squeeing.

The Rangers are watching as some space shuttle lands at NASADA. Awww, back when people cared about the space program! You go Power Rangers, and keep promoting this! Justin's dad shows up, and apparently he got the job. UM. SINCE WHEN DO YOU FIND OUT AT THE INTERVIEW IF YOU GOT THE JOB. And then he's all "So if I take the job, we have to move." Justin is all "But I don't want to move!"

Quick question - HOW DID HE NOT KNOW HE WOULD HAVE TO MOVE FOR THE JOB???? This is not how things work. This would be included WHEN YOU APPLY. And Justin is all "BUT MY FRIENDS" mostly because of the Rangers, although he really just can't say "YEAH, SO POWER RANGER."

Meanwhile, the Rangers are called to the Power Chamber, because Eltar is under attack. Suddenly we find out that Eltar is the source of all their powers. UM. WHAT. Since WHEN??? But seriously, this is pretty epic. Intergalactic attacks! Zordon in peril! Something bigger than a Megazord headed for Earth!

EPIC. I APPROVE SO HARD.

Giant terrifying looking monster shows up to mock them, and they summon the village people Zords. This is actually a super exciting fight, mostly because hey, the Rangers are LOSING. Keep breaking the toys, monster! (Wow, how did Divatox actually find competent help? My world, it is ending!)

TJ is all "Okay, here's the plan. Let's blow up the Zord to take them out." TJ, stop taking lessons from Tommy. Although hey, at least you intend to do it on purpose! So they blow it up and go to their old Zords, but it DIDN'T WORK. And neither does the Turbo Megazord Sabre. Like, this monster is way more powerful than they are. And then it shoots ALL THE POWER BACK AT THEM. I just. Eeeeep.

TJ has another idea - retreat. Which is good, because time for MORE Zords to blow up. TJ gets more toys (lightning cruiser and the giant canon thing, and he shoves the canon down the monster's throat) which actually does manage to blow up the GIANT MONSTER but seriously they now have no Zords at all.

They teleport back to the Power Chamber, and because Elgar and Rygog see them teleporting, this somehow clues them into where the Power Chamber is? I guess... Rita never shared that information? And Divatox is really bad at spying?

Divatox is REALLY excited to blow up more things.

Dimitria lets the Rangers know that Eltar has fallen. HOLY CRAP. The Rangers are totally disturbed but they can't go because they have to stay and protect Earth. Instead, Dimitria and Blue Senturian are going. As they leave, Divatox assembles a GIANT FREAKING ARMY of Pirahnatrons and holy crap, shit is getting real.

Dimitria reminds them one more time that they are the Power Rangers and therefore totally awesome, and then leaves them for Eltar, just as Divatox attacks. The Rangers do the heroic walk out, even though Alpha warns them there are too many of them. And the Rangers rush out to meet the battle, and TO BE CONTINUED.

4 fish - For all the epicness, there are some giant freaking plot holes in this. And also, that was a lot of fighting. (Please continue to blow up the toys.)

episode 248 - Parts and Parcel

2011-06-25T10:32:00.000-04:00

FINALLY WATCHING ON NETFLIX.

So Bulk and Skull have jobs as delivery guys. TJ is really proud of them for always working, even though Cassie points out that it's never the same job twice. They deliver a blender to Lt. Stone, but when they open the box it's open. They're freaking out, because the daytime thief keeps stealing from the packages they're supposed to deliver, and their boss has threatened to have them arrested for stealing if they don't figure out where the stuff is.

TJ is all "Yeah, Bulk and Skull are NOT THIEVES" and volunteers to help them. BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST.

It's like this episode is apologizing for the last one.

So TJ, Bulk and Skull put on a lot of black clothing and go hide in a warehouse to stake it out. Bulk and Skull say they're hungry, so TJ leaves to go find some food.

Divatox is yelling at Porto about some remote control that will allow them to attack with all the toys.

TJ is about to head back to Bulk and Skull when he gets word of an attack. Bulk and Skull hear something but they panic and hide, missing the daytime thief.

Carlos, Ashley and TJ (and everyone is really hot in this episode, holy crap) fight some Pirahnatrons unmorphed, but the mooks make off with a phone. TJ arrives back at the warehouse to find it completely trashed, and Bulk and Skull panicking. TJ is really frustrated with them for not seeing the thieves, but he's also really sympathetic and frustrated.

Ashley and Cassie dress Skull up in drag and do his makeup, while TJ has now recruited all the other Rangers to help. HE IS THE BEST. This is not a bad plan, really. Skull calls Bulk cutie! SHIPS THEM SHIPS THEM SHIPS THEM.

TJ is really good at plans and strategy.

And then we find out who the thieves are. Pirahnatrons. What does Divatox want with the stuff? What? Poor Skull is terrified, but Bulk runs to his rescue. THEY ARE THE BEST. TJ goes off with Bulk and Skull while the other Rangers handle the Pirahnatrons.

I LOVE THIS EPISODE. The Rangers are NOT BULLIES. THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE AND GOOD FRIENDS. And also, ALL THE UNMORPHED FIGHTING.

Bulk and Skull are freaking out because their boss is not going to believe them, so they're going to jail. UM BOYS, YOU LIVE IN ANGEL GROVE. TJ tells them to meet in the youth center in 2 hours, and they're like "WE WILL BE IN JAIL" so TJ tells them to hide. He will clear their names. BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST.

The Rangers figure out that while the stuff stolen isn't valuable, that Divatox is probably trying to build something. And with that, Divatox unleashes her toys. The Rangers morph, and it's time for a fight scene. The Blue Senturian is there with his toy, but is getting beaten up, so the Rangers summon their toys. Rygog is using a ton of power and sparking, so the Rangers do something that lets them get back up after being knocked down, blah blah blah. They win.

Bulk and Skull are wearing horrible disguises when their boss shows up with police to have them arrested, when the POWER RANGERS teleport in to prevent it. TJ instead thanks them for their service in helping stop Divatox.

Bulk and Skull tell Cassie and Ashley how great TJ is, and they tell him that TJ said the same about him. Bulk looks so HONORED and gives TJ a giant hug and my heart explodes with JOY. JOY. AMAZING.

You guys, Bulk and Skull are big damn heroes. TJ treats them with respect.

Bulk and Skull get the best character development and I love them.

Fish: 1.5 This was AMAZING.

Episode 247- The Ranger Rivalry

2011-06-25T10:10:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying I HATE this trope. I HATE the "two people fight over the affections of one poor soul" thing. People are not prizes to be won and should not be literally fought over. Let the person decide who s/he wants to date, and accept that it might not be either of you!

So Ashley is teaching a group of little girls hip hop dancing. She ensures all the tiny children have a ride home and then Lt. Stone asks her if she's going to the dance later. She doesn't have tickets, nor a date, and really she should just ask Carlos! He'd definitely say yes and it would be romantic and fun. But instead she spies New Kid and Lt. Stone tells him New Kid (apparently Bobby) does not have a date. He is apparently Mandy's older brother, and Mandy is in Ashley's dance class. She is very obvious in her flirting, offering to teach him to dance.

But OH NOES! Bobby knows Cassie. And introduces them (ahhahahah), and they point out they're best friends. Both think he's totally cute. He's really not (or at least he's not my type). In school, all the girls go nuts over Bobby. He approaches Ashley and asks her to teach him how to dance. Bobby asks if tomorrow is okay because he's hanging out with Cassie that afternoon. Ashley says it's a date but she's totally not happy about Cassie having time with Bobby. So she recruits TJ to go play catch with her at the park. Where Cassie and Bobby are.

Cassie is playing guitar and Ashley throws a ball at Bobby. TJ apologizes and asks if they want to play and the girls are really violent with each other. I HATE THIS EPISODE. LET THE POOR MAN CHOOSE FOR HIMSELF! Fighting with each other will solve NOTHING. It's up to HIM if he wants to date either of them, not up to who wins the fights. TJ smartly suspects something is up.

Bobby has car trouble and Ashley jumps to the rescue. Bobby is very impressed and Ashley is all touchy feely while Cassie tries to ask Bobby to the dance. Carlos and Justin are in trouble and Cassie actually asks to stay behind with Bobby! REALLY CASSIE?!?!?!? Your FRIENDS NEED you and you're going to abandon them for a boy??? WHAT THE HELL SHOW? Major props to TJ for telling her off (in the nicest way possible, because this is Power Rangers). Cassie fights but when she gets back to the parking lot, Bobby is gone.

He approaches Ashley in school the next day. He asks if Cassie is okay and ASHLEY THROWS HER UNDER THE BUS! WHAT THE HELL ASHLEY?!?!??! She tells Bobby that Cassie is flaky and runs off all the time. SHUT UP! I HATE THIS EPISODE WITH A FIERY PASSION. Another girl ends up inviting herself to the dance lesson. Ashley asks Mandy about Bobby, and Mandy says Bobby likes a girl but she can't remember who it is.

Ashley flails a bit in front of Bobby and calls it dancing. They flirt a lot and suddenly by the end he's a Super Awesome Dancer (only not really). Her communicator beeps and she has to run off while he practices. She rushes off to fight Divatox, but she's really cranky and bitchy about it. And there is an underwater Zord fight and then BS shows up to save the day.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM THIS EPISODE?!?! Worst. Episode. EVER.

Carlos, TJ, and Justin buy tickets to the dance. Bobby comes up to ask for their advice about a girl he likes. Carlos tells him it's scarier to think about asking than actually asking. Ashley and Cassie come in and Bobby says he's going to go ask who he likes to the dance. He heads towards a large group of the girls. Ashley goes all giggly and weird but he walks right past her. Cassie goes all slick and weird and Bobby walks right past her. He ends up asking Glenda The Other Girl to the dance. GOOD FOR YOU, BOBBY! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN BEING SOME GIRL'S TROPHY! Glenda will appreciate you for who you are, which Cassie and Ashley were apparently incapable of.

Cassie and Ashley apologize to each other and all is well.

The girls now need dates. TJ already has one. Carlos apparently does as well. Justin holds his hands out and says he'll take them both! And they agree. AWWWWWW.

5 fish. This was a HORRIBLE episode and I never ever EVER want to see it again.

Episode 246- Little Strong Man

2011-06-19T11:24:00.000-04:00

Aw, Justin wants to join a high school sports team! He goes for track. Carlos is giving him advice and trying to help him train and it's SO CUTE. He's not great at most of this, but considering he's only 13 going up against a bunch of 18 year olds? He's doing alright.

At the Youth Center, Justin is trying to lift weights. It's not working so well until Cassie and Carlos come help him. Justin gets down on himself for being so puny and Cassie points out he's not puny, he's just younger than the rest of the high school team. WHICH IS TRUE. Don't be so hard on yourself, Justin!

Meanwhile, Lt. Stone is having an ant problem. I hate ants. They are nearly impossible to get rid of once you get them inside. Bulk and Skull want to help get rid of the ants. That's a bad idea. Justin is working out extra hard when he gets bitten by one of the ants. A RADIOACTIVE ANT. He suddenly develops super strength, pulling the doors right off their hinges. SOMEWHERE, PETER PARKER IS CRYING.

Justin rushes to try outs and the coach is doubtful to his ability to do anything, but lets him try anyway. Justin goes for the long jump and manages to jump right over the entire length of the sand. He's really confused but keeps trying things to figure out what's going on, right down to hurling a shot put ball ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE FIELD. Carlos totally knows something is wrong. Justin is too excited about being better than the older kids to care.

Justin totally abuses his great power, being a jerkwad to show off his super strength by arm wrestling. Carlos tries to tell him all about how with great power comes great responsibility, but he totally doesn't care. He could care less about side effects. When out with his new track friends, they are confronted by piranhatrons and Justin discovers he can't morph. So he has to use his super strength instead. I'D SAY THAT'S A PRETTY BIG SIDE EFFECT, JUSTIN. His super strength is not compatible with the ranger abilities and Justin can't be both really strong and a ranger. Alpha has an antidote and Justin has to decide if he wants to keep his ant-given super powers or use his other super powers. TJ gives a pretty awesome speech about how it's not really him doing those awesome things, but when he's bigger and trains hard, he can claim his awesomeness all on his own.

Divatox has her own zord now and she has a space taxi. SPACE TAXI! She picks a zord and heads to Angel Grove and Justin totally decides being a ranger is cooler than being a radioactive affected superhuman (he should totally have joined The Avengers... just saying). He takes the antidote and they go fight. There are zords and they totally beat the crap out of Divatox.

Back at school, Justin had to leave the team as an active player. It gives him a sad, but Carlos is there to cheer him up! Best big brother ever. Then the others show up and let him talk about his sad and it's all better. Especially because then he gives advice to the team about the best way to play USING PHYSICS. WHICH MAKES HIM WAY COOLER THAN ALL THE OTHER TEAM MEMBERS, JUST SAYING.

1.5 fish. Seriously, he becomes a comic book character and makes the high school sports team better WITH PHYSICS.

Episode 245 - Carlos and the Count

2011-06-19T10:51:00.000-04:00

Still not watching on netflix. Still SUPER PISSED OFF about that.

However, in this episode we have VAMPIRES.

Seriously, I love vampires. Except of the sparklepire variety. And seriously, this is a MUCH better vampires in high school story than that is.

So Bulk and Skull have a scary movie festival. There are going to be a lot of vampire movies. This is one of Bulk and Skull's better jobs, actually! And super fun!.

Elgar actually has a fairly good suggestion, when Divatox is complaining about how much she hates Vampires. Instead, he suggests Lunar Bats, because apparently there are bats in space? Sure, why not. So Divatox sticks out her tongue and snares one, which she turns into Count Nocturne.

Seriously, Carlos and Justin are the best of friends, they are super adorable. I am in favor of Carlos being the best big brother ever, because it doesn't take over the season. As Carlos is walking home, he hears something and assumes it is Justin pranking him. SO CUTE. Except instead it's Pirahnatrons, and we get a NIGHTTIME UNMORPHED FIGHT. This is like the greatest thing ever. The screen is super dark, so it's actually hard to see what's going on. Then he's attacked by the monster and bitten, with Bulk and Skull as witnesses. They decide that they have no choice but to become vampire hunters. HOOK UP WITH BUFFY, YOU GUYS.

So vampire!Carlos is SUPER HOT. SUPER HOT. Ashley approves of his new look, because he's SUPER HOT. And then she invites him to the blood drive. He is obviously super excited about this.

Bulk and Skull come tracking Carlos, and they're trying to protect Justin, when Principal Caplan sees them, and is all "I thought you graduated. DETENTION." And they go.

Justin starts to get suspicious of Carlos when he notices the sunglasses and how badly Carlos reacted to the garlic that Skull had given him, and he begins to go research vampires. TJ and Cassie ask him why he's researching vampires, and he's all "I just am."

Ashley asks Carlos if he's ready to grab a bite, and CLEARLY HE WANTS TO BITE HER.

Cassie and TJ are all "Justin, you know there's no such thing as vampires" and of course that's when the monster shows up to attack them. Cassie's melodramatic "Vaaaaaaampires" is pretty amazing and I love it.

There's an unmorphed fight scene, which is also great, and Justin explains to TJ and Cassie that he thinks Carlos is a vampire, and they have to go protect Ashley. TJ and Cassie are SO CONFUSED.

Ashley invites Carlos to grab a bite again, because CLEARLY she wants him to bite her. And just as he's about to, Justin and the others show up and interrupt. Justin uses his knowledge of vampires to prove that Carlos is one, since he has no reflection, and Ashley is SO UPSET. She loves him. Anyway, they try to convince Carlos to go to the Power Chamber, but instead he turns into a rubber bat and flies away. BEST WORST SPECIAL EFFECTS EVER.

They figure out that Carlos is going to the blood drive, and Bulk and Skull try and fail to explain that something is going on. Ashley and TJ manage to catch Carlos and teleport him to the Power Chamber, where Alpha drugs him with a temporary antidote. He's still under the spell.

It's amazing, they remember they have a mentor. Not that I'm complaining about the lack of Dimitria, because seriously, DIMITRIA. UGH.

The Rangers all morph and go fight, and the monster tries to put Carlos back under his spell, but Carlos defies him. It's like everything I love.

Anyway, the monster grows, and they have to use all the toys for some reason, and Carlos briefly struggles with how it wants to put him back under the spell, and then they blow it up. They make a big deal about combining the two Megazords, but whatever, it was still a fairly dull fight. And it went on FOREVER.

Elgar gets thrown into space, and somehow he survives. That is not fair.

The Rangers are all excited for the monster movies, and Bulk and Skull have switched to werewolf movies. They are traumatized when they think the delivery guy is a werewolf. They are the CUTEST.

Fish: 2. THIS EPISODE WAS AWESOME.

Fic we want: VAMPIRE!CARLOS. Bulk and Skull: VAMPIRE HUNTERS.

Episode 244- The Curve Ball

2011-06-19T10:44:00.000-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, OMG there is continuity!!!

So I'm still watching on Netflix. And I LOVE it. Stellar quality (my copies were... very bad) and I can watch on my big tv while recapping on the laptop and I don't have to have tiny windows anywhere! All around a good thing. And hey, this episode isn't even half bad! Because they remembered that TJ came to Angel Grove to play baseball! So he plays baseball!

TJ gives good advice to his teammates in the middle of a tight game when his communicator beeps and he has to go. The others are frustrated because he is, apparently, half the team. Or at least the best on the team? Either way, he bails, and they get upset. And despite not having any lines at all, Carlos is apparently also on the baseball team.

They run to help the others fight to protect Storm Blaster. TJ and Carlos rush back to the game and the rest of the team is all excited because apparently now they can't lose. I'm sure the other players are good! Why do they NEED TJ to win? Not to discount his mad baseball skills and all, but at least let some other players shine!

TJ hits a home run and some guy in a blue shirt (obviously playing for the other team) gets the ball way in the outfield. Heath is the new guy and he is very insulting to TJ's team. They have some delightfully tense bickering in which Heath is sure TJ doesn't dance. TJ goes up to bat again to prove to Heath that he really does dance. And... he gets struck out. And everybody is shocked and appalled. Because TJ has apparently never seen a curve ball before? How did he get this far and this good in baseball without ever having encountered a curve ball????

At the next game, TJ goes up against Heath again. There is more delightful tension. TJ strikes out again, despite having skipped all his FUN in order to practice. Divatox is so happy TJ has struck out and she's going to use this whole baseball theme to her advantage by bringing in Strike Out. He throws curve balls too. And knocks down all the rangers, who are trying to play baseball with their swords. This is... the weirdest, and yet most interesting, monster fight I think I've ever seen in Power Rangers! I certainly enjoy the slight change of pace.

Heath is practicing when TJ rides by on his bike. He chases after him and dares him to a race, but TJ refuses. Heath takes off anyway and falls off a cliff, managing to cling to the edge while his bike falls far below. TJ bravely rushes over and grabs Heath's hand to pull him to safety, but not before we get dramatic music and "oh noes I can't reach" tension. Heath is grateful and TJ rides off.

Back at the practice field, Heath teaches TJ how to hit his curve ball. Because TJ saved his life. Aw, jerkass learnt a lesson!

Strike Out is back and Carlos goes to fight, leaving TJ behind to practice with Heath. He gets a few hits in, thanks Heath, promises to keep it a secret, and then rushes off to join the fight. He uses his colour coded red baseball bat to hit Strike Out's curve ball right out of the atmosphere. Then there is monster growing and zords and that part is still boring. But at least the first fights were refreshingly different!

TJ is good on his word and keeps his promise to Heath not to give away the secret to his curve ball. He does encourage his teammates to just give their at-bat their best go. Heath feels a little bad for being so rough on the guys and actually gives them tips on how to hit his balls. Aw, good guy! Maybe the middle of the game isn't the most appropriate time to do it? But this doesn't seem to be professional games, but rather sandlot games. So I don't care. Because he's all nice now. :D

3 fish. It had continuity!!!

Episode 243 - Cassie's Best Friend

2011-06-15T20:41:00.000-04:00

So I am so sulky about the fact that I am not watching on netflix streaming right now. Only 255 of the 732 episodes are showing up on my Wii, and I am super pissed about that. But netflix tech support assures me they're looking into it. Still. Grrr.

So we start off at the lake. Cassie has a dog that she's playing frisbee with. The dog's name is Jetson, but I keep thinking they're saying Justin, and frankly, I was wondering why Cassie named her dog after him.

Meanwhile, Divatox has some new monster named goon that can transform stuff into mice or something. She sends it to attack at the lake and it blasts the Rangers. There's a pretty great unmorphed fight scene and this time the monster hits a Pirahnatron and it turns into a turtle. Turtles! The monster runs away because his aim sucks.

Bulk and Skull are looking for jobs, and Cassie has apparently trained her dog to get a newspaper and give her the change. That is way more impressive than Kat's dog training! in the park, Cassie is telling Jetson that sometimes she wishes he was a person and wonders what he would say. Of course, the monster shows up. Oh god.

Cassie morphs and the dog gets blasted and falls off a cliff or something. The monster tells Cassie I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too. And hey, Jetson has been transformed into a naked surfer dude with the collar still around his neck. IDEK. He steals clothes that just happen to be on a park bench.

Bulk and Skull offer to find Cassie's dog, since they used to be detectives. Hey, continuity! While Cassie is organizing in the youth center, human!Jetson who apparently has fleas introduces himself as Jethro and tells her that he's seen Jetson. Human!Jetson is molesting another dog. He informs her that none of the other dogs have seen Jetson. Cassie is understandably weirded out, but she offers him a ride home, and then accepts his offer of searching for the dog.

Bulk and Skull have found a dog that isn't Jetson. IDEK what to say about it. Jetson informs Cassie that the other dog is lost and he lives over by the high school.

Meanwhile, human!Jetson is failing at keeping his story straight. He also clearly has a crush on Cassie and this is weird. Jetson order a lot of burgers with extra cheese because he can't eat that usually and then plays frisbee with Cassie. Seriously, she should have figured this out by now, but I guess she's busy being understandably creeped out.

Jetson starts turning back into a dog, and his hands are now paws. Jetson gives some excuse and Cassie is weirdly all "I'm going to miss you, I feel like you're one of my best friends" and Jetson tells her "you'll always be my only best friend" and NO. THAT IS CREEPY. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW HE'S A DOG. CREEPY.

Alpha calls and they morph and there's a fight scene which is thankfully distracting me from being super creeped out. Sadly, then dog!Jetson shows up to attack the monster. Elgar has his Zord back and the Rangers summon their Village People Zords, and I really can't take Elgar as a threat seriously, even if he has a giant Zord. Divatox also sends in the monster to attack as well, so the Blue Senturian shows up with Robo Racer.

Somehow Elgar ends up on a camel. What. Oh, and they destroy the other monster.

At the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull walk right past Jetson and tell Cassie that they've almost found Jetson. Cassie starts to realize that maybe Jetson is Jethro, but then she decides there's no way that's possible. Cassie, you are not very smart.

Fish: 5. SUPER CREEPY.

Episode 242- The Accident

2011-06-15T20:21:00.001-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, Carlos has angst! ANGST!!! And I totally got to enjoy his ANGST with the excellent graphics of the episode on Netflix! Because nothing is better than Carlos ANGST coming through in beautiful clarity via streaming video and not an old VCR recorded tv version. ANGST!!!

Carlos' couch is late, as usual. He has a meeting with Carlos and some other kid. They are now going to be competing for the title of team captain. Other Kid apparently needs to learn sportsmanship. Just like all the rivals do. Are we surprised? Not really.

So during practice, Carlos accidentally hurts Other Kid (whose name is apparently Owen). Somehow Carlos broke Other Kid's leg. Except Carlos didn't even touch him. But now Carlos has ANGST. He has the best sadface EVER.

The team is totes divided and a little mini-war breaks out with hallway battles! Half the team thinks Carlos intentionally sprained Owen's ankle. The other half thinks Carlos didn't touch him. Owen Supporters quit out of protest. We get to see Carlos' sadface again. I highly approve of this.

Bulk and Skull are now water boys. They fail. Skull has a new haircut. He looks super hot at least! Carlos, meanwhile, isn't having much luck at being the captain. He's sure he hurt Owen and he feels really bad about it, even reflecting on it in the middle of the practice while wondering if it was really an accident or somehow intentional. Carlos and Adam really need to hang out more often. WAY more often. They have ALL the things in common.

Divatox is going to use this distraction to her benefit by playing MIND GAMES. Because she is a great villain. She makes some piranhatrons look like Owen and his cronies. Carlos is conflicted because they make him feel horrible! Poor Carlos. Luckily the rangers show up and show him the truth. Carlos fights unmorphed while the rest are morphed. It is AWESOME.

At school, Carlos apologizes to Owen for hurting him. Except Carlos is not totally sure he tripped Owen at all, but Owen is all "I am grievously injured so obviously you did it, yo" and gives Carlos and even bigger sad. Carlos goes to brood when he is confronted with the Blue Senturian, who wants to make him feel better, though he's not sure it's a legal matter he can assist in. I hate him.

Elgar comes crashing to Earth in the zord he was test driving for Divatox. BS tries to arrest him. It's very boring and doesn't pertain to the episode AT ALL. There is a big zord battle between BS and Elgar's zord. Carlos and the others go to help. I liked this episode much more before there was all the zord fighting.

The only good thing is Elgar manages to trick the Rangers into attacking BS and Carlos is all "OH NOES! I hurt another friend!" But then it gets boring again because Elgar is missing a crucial piece to his zord and it just kind of... falls apart. I'd really like to go back to Carlos and his angst now.

And we do! Carlos has quit as team captain and Owen wants to know why. He's all confused. Carlos isn't quite sure he wants to explain. Owen finally admits that Carlos didn't even touch him, he just tripped over his own two feet and sprained his ankle that way. It was a really jerky thing to do and Carlos just forgives him for turning half the team against him just like that.

2 fish! Surprisingly low for Turbo.

Episode 241 - The Song of Confusion

2011-06-12T10:49:00.001-04:00

Oh man, I have such clear memories of this episode. Or rather, I have such clear memories of having the stupid song stuck in my head for DAYS.

So clearly Cassie and Tanya need to go on tour together.

Anyway, we open with Cassie and some other girl doing an acoustic guitar show, and they're not half bad. Cassie suggests that they start a band, and Lt. Stone offers up the Juice Bar for their auditions. Divatox is all "And I will write them a song" and then she pulls out a guitar, and clearly this episode is going to be ridiculous.

I am not complaining.

Cassie and random blonde friend hold their auditions, and we get the "hilarity" of an accordion, bagpipes, bongos, a banjo, cymbals, and other random instruments that generally don't fit in a rock band. Then Bulk and Skull audition, and Skull is wearing all the eyeliner. (And um, Skull plays piano, did they forget already? He could totally play keyboards in their band.) Then a whole band shows up already - Crash and the Creeps. They start playing that freaking song and Cassie fails to ask the obvious question of "if they already have a band, why are they auditioning for hers?"

Random friend is all "I'll drop out and just write the songs so that you can join." This makes no sense, since it was her band.

TJ asks Cassie how it's working, and she tells him that she's performing that night, and he promises to be there. They play that stupid earworm again, and Cassie's friend is sad because they didn't play any of her songs, and Crash says they're not going to. She's super upset about it, but hey, she's the one who DROPPED OUT.

Carlos and Justin are being giant dorks, and it's adorable. They head out of the youth center, and run into some Pirahnatrons, and when that music starts playing AGAIN they can't stop singing it. Gee, I wonder if there's a spell or something in the song. It's a magic earworm.

TJ and the others are starting to get super sick of the song, when they get summoned to fight 5 monsters.

Crash tells Cassie that random friend is out. Crash and the Creeps will be broadcasting live from Angel Grove Lake, where their sound will take over the world.

The Rangers show up to the soundcheck and they realize that oh, Cassie's band is actually Divatox's band. They start playing that freaking song again and this time it causes the Rangers a lot of pain. I totally understand, I've had a lot of really ridiculous songs stuck in my head. They realize that if they destroy the instruments they'll stop the song. Fight scene. I guess the band is this season's version of evil Rangers? Since they match up colorwise?

Anyway, the monsters grow, they summon Zords, and it ends pretty quickly.

None of the Rangers can remember the song, and they're happy about it. If only all earworms were disposed of that quickly. Cassie apologizes to random friend and all is forgiven. Then Bulk and Skull show up with tubas.

Fish: 5. EARWORM.

Fic we want: So Skull plays keyboard in a band that consists of him, Cassie, Tanya and Kira.

Episode 240- Spirit of the Woods

2011-06-12T10:34:00.000-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, creepy child is creepy, TJ has a mental breakdown, and nothing makes sense.

So we start with dramatic music and a nature woodland scene. This is ruined by a red jeep carelessly running over flowers while the teenagers toss trash over the side. A mysterious little boy watches from behind a tree, then the wind blows and leaves spell Go Away on the windshield. The teens drive off. The little boy vanishes and then reappears further down the path. GEE. I WONDER WHAT HE COULD BE. *eyeroll*

At the Youth Center, Lt. Stone is amazed that TJ is up so early. TJ apparently has to go for a run and wanted some sort of power smoothie or whatever, so Lt. Stone showed up at the Juice Bar to make him one. So... he opened up just for TJ? He totally knows TJ is the Red Ranger. There is literally NO other explanation that would make sense.

TJ runs through the forest and meets Creepy Spirit Child, who is apparently called Erutan. TJ does not question the odd name, but does ask if he can find his way home and then says it was nice to meet him. Creepy Spirit Child vanishes while TJ's back is turned. Then a piece of trash follows TJ through the woods and turns into one of Divatox's monsters. Lots of newspapers suddenly fly at TJ. Really, newspapers make up such a small portion of trash, you'd think they'd have something like rotten food or empty cans or plastic being thrown at him. But that would be gross and realistic, and we can't have realistic on Power Rangers! So it's newspapers.

Creepy Spirit Child watches TJ morph and jumps out to help fight. He uses his spirit powers to get rid of the monster. TJ is sure he's going to be hurt, but TJ apparently doesn't realize he's a Creepy Spirit Child. The others come running up and TJ explains what happened.

Apparently the monster is called Garbage Disposal. Which... doesn't actually make sense since you use a garbage disposal to get RID of garbage, not make more of it.

In school (hey, they remembered these kids still go to school! I'm shocked), TJ is distracted. He writes out ERUTAN and somehow manages to figure out, almost immediately, that's it's just Nature all mixed up. TJ then sees Creepy Spirit Child outside the school watching him creepily. Apparently Erutan is now obsessed with TJ. He's even wearing red. The Woods apparently want to thank TJ for helping them? I... whatever. Erutan is apparently sometimes the spirit of the woods, and sometimes the spirit of the water. He admits to making the wind that got rid of the monster. He's... creepy and weird.

The dialogue is worse than usual. The effects are worse than usual. Selwyn is trying really really hard, but even he can't make this episode good.

Bulk and Skull did find another job they're good at! They deliver newspapers and manage to get them all right where the people want them... right down to the paper landing in one guys hand as he drinks his coffee. They are so good, for 2 weeks, that their boss fires them. Apparently they deliver the paper early and haven't charged anybody. Uh... so make them ask for money, but keep them employed! They were awesome!

Back in the woods, TJ is once again being followed by Erutan. They agree to fight together to get rid of Divatox's monsters. They manage to catch the kid in a net. THE KID CAN DISAPPEAR! HOW IS THE NET GOING TO STOP HIM?!?!?!?! So Creepy Spirit Child just kind of hangs out in the net while TJ morphs and fights, and then he calls for the others, and they all fight. The only explanation we can come up with is that he's trapped in a Fish Net and, therefore, couldn't get out. Also, apparently nobody else can see Erutan.

I do wonder why the Spirit of the Forest (in California no less) is a blonde haired little white boy. I could see the spirit of the forests in Norway being a blonde haired little white boy... but California? But then we find out why (or at least the only explanation that I'm willing to accept... because he shouldn't be a white kid here). He can make thunder and lightning! He's not the spirit of the forest after all. HE'S BABY THOR!!!! Except that totally drains him and TJ sends the others to call the zords and fight the big monster while he helps Baby Thor. They still can't see him. They totally think he's having a mental breakdown. But it is testament to TJ's great ability as a leader, because THEY DO IT ANYWAY.

They fight. TJ gets Baby Thor to safety. They win quickly and go find TJ. He's worried because Baby Thor is vanishing slowly before his eyes and wants to help, but there isn't anything TJ can do. Erutan says goodbye, assuring TJ he'll be find as long as people like him protect the woods. And then he vanishes. TJ knows it will be okay because next morning on his run he sees a deer. Uh... k?

5 fish. Because it made no sense and I shouldn't have to go to other universes and canon to explain the (hopefully accidental) race issues.

Fic we want: TJ actually having a breakdown in this episode.

Episode 239 - The Turn of the Wretched Wrench

2011-06-04T19:30:00.000-04:00

We open in shop class, with Ashley trying to fix an engine. Sadly, it doesn't work. I just want to say A+ for having Ashley in shop class, because seriously, it is nice to see them breaking the fashionista girly-girl stereotype. And hey, it's actually nice to see BOTH Carlos and Ashley struggle with something and have them not be perfect for once.

Meanwhile, Divatox is having technical difficulties with her periscope and she calls in some monster to fix it. And then the monster volunteers to build Divatox something. I actually adore Divatox with her "You may touch me" to the monster.

Ashley is driving home and she's having some car trouble. She breaks out the manual and tries to fix it herself! You go Ashley. However, she also called a towing company, and it turns out that Bulk and Skull are the tow guys. They promptly back into her car and ruin a headlight.

Elgar appears and Ashley asks if this day could get any worse. Ashley, NEVER ASK THAT. (Also, Skull locks himself in the truck. Ahaha.) We get an unmorphed fight with Ashley being great and kicking Pirahnatron ass while Elgar steals parts from her car. Bulk somehow manages to miss the whole thing.

Ashley allows Bulk and Skull to drive her back to the Youth Center. She is brave. TJ gives Ashley a wrench, and we find out that the reason Ashley is taking autoshop is because her dad is super good with cars but he doesn't think girls can do it. ASHLEY, YOU ARE SO GREAT. Carlos points out that he isn't doing well either and that gender has nothing to do with it.

I approve of this episode so hard just for that scene.

Later, at the autoshop Ashley is still having issues but at least the teacher is fairly encouraging, telling her to think it through. Bulk and Skull show up, and then the monster turns into a student named Manny to join them. He is super creepy and tries to steal Ashley's wrench. The teacher tells Ashley that she should come in after class to work in the garage. He's being super supportive and encouraging. I was worried that instead he'd be dismissive of her, but he totally wants her to succeed!

Ashley is super worried, and Carlos volunteers to go with her, because he looooooooooooves her. As they walk to the garage, they get ambushed by Pirahnatrons and we get another unmorphed fight scene!

"First my car parts and now... maybe more car parts!" Ahahaha.

Ashley and Carlos discover that Manny has a) stolen Ashley's wrench and b) is a monster and he's building something. They morph and chase after him in those little car things. they point out again that the monster is a maniac. The rest of the Rangers join in on Lightning Cruiser and Storm Blaster to chase after the monster.

The monster keeps breaking their cars, and they decide that Ashley can fix Storm Blaster. I guess somehow the engine is the same on Storm Blaster as in a regular car? Sure. Whatever. I guess since the cars are magic and all. She managed to fix it, anyway. Because she is AWESOME. She fights the monster and blows him up. Ashley, you can join Kim in the I AM AWESOME AND BLOW UP MONSTERS club.

Of course, then Divatox is all "Launch the... ah, you know the drill" and seriously, how much do I love Divatox? The Zord fight is over pretty quickly, at least.

Ashley is explaining the differences between Storm Blaster and a regular car while she's driving Carlos and Justin somewhere. How much do I love that she is the car expert? SO MUCH. They come upon Bulk and Skull, and they discover that their truck has broken down. Bulk starts to protest and Ashley is all "I do NOT want to hear how a girl can't do it" and she fixes their engine. Sadly, Bulk and Skull are fired anyway. They laugh. Sigh.

ASHLEY IS GREAT. And I approve so hard of this episode.

Fish: 3, because they had great attitudes about women and cars

Episode 238 - Fire In Your Tank

2011-06-04T19:11:00.000-04:00

Divatox auditions her monsters! It's so awesome. She puts a group of them through a few tests and determines none of them will suffice. Meanwhile, TJ is testing Lightning Cruiser by flying him around. I'm not sure what he's testing for, but whatever. Divatox sees and determines that's what she wants. And what Divatox wants, she will get.

Mind, she's missing a few steps in her plan. Basically she's at:
1. Want flying car.
2. ???
3. PROFIT!

Bulk and Skull are now park rangers. They should totally stick with the Monster Tours. That would have been way more awesome. And they were good at that!

So some weird flame monster that burps smoke (heartburn? I've got some Tums, dude) goes after Cassie, Ashley, and TJ. He kind of fails at... well... everything except what his intended purpose was. He distracts the rangers. They chase him. Elgar sneaks in and goes after Lightning Cruiser. He starts honking like crazy so the rangers head back but they're too far away. Piranhatrons get in the path and Elgar totally gets LC.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull fail at being park rangers because they are sitting below the window, listening to a cd player with their headphones on, and reading comics (which is awesome, but not when you're supposed to be monitoring the forest). In other words, NOT watching Elgar steal the car.

Carlos and Justin head over and get between Elgar and the cars. It's taking Elgar a REALLY LONG time to steal those cars. They aren't even moving, just making a lot of noise. Elgar runs away before he can get the cars. They do manage to steal the booster fuel instead. It's what makes the cars fly apparently. I didn't know they needed fuel, not anything in particular to make them fly. But okay.

DIVATOX HAS AN AMAZING CAR. I would totally drive that car. It's the best part of this episode. And now it flies because she has the booster fuel. Fail Heartburn Monster gets some and puts it in a motorcycle he somehow acquired while running through the woods. It makes him go super fast and set fire to some grass, although it uses up all the fuel in one short burst. So he drinks the fuel instead. He ought to be dead, but instead he's just fast and flamey.

He sets Angel Grove forest on fire. There are zords. Why didn't they call the ACTUAL fire fighters? I have no idea. They kind of fail. This feels like yet another randomly thrown together "plot". TJ takes Lightning Cruiser to go rescue Bulk and Skull, who have not noticed the fire, and stumbles across Divatox and her awesome flying car. She's just out for a joyride, but TJ keeps getting in her way. Then she runs out of fuel and crashes and instead of being mad she's out of fuel, she sends the monster in to destroy the rangers.

Bulk and Skull finally notice the fire, just in time for TJ to show up and get them to jump into the car. TJ must drop them off somewhere because next thing we know he's standing in some sandy area fighting the Fail Heartburn Monster with the other rangers. There is a zord battle and I'm left wondering when and how the fire in Angel Grove Forest got put out? Because they didn't really do it and for some reason put the zords away before putting out the fire, because they had to call them back to fight the monster. Whatever. Fish must have come in and put the fire out.

Porto has come up with an evil version of the booster fuel so Divatox's car can fly and he can make a continuous supply for her. Except Elgar mixed it and she refuses to get in the car, making him drive (and crash) it instead. She is clearly the smartest. Porto promises to mix it himself next time.

5 fish. They were all over this episode.

Episode 237 - The Gardner of Evil

2011-05-29T14:18:00.000-04:00

Previously - Elgar got hair, Blue Senturian is evil, and Justin has angst.

Bulk and Skull are playing pinball, and apparently the wishing coin broke the machine. Lt Stone got them a job working at a nursery. Sadly, it isn't a *baby* nursery, but is a plant nursery.

Divatox has a new monster, who is a plant head. This monster has the ability to use vines to turn people into Divatox's slaves (DIVADRONES, THAT IS AMAZING), and they're all dressed up as bees. Man, the therapy bill for people in Angel Grove has to be super high.

Apparently the only way to turn Blue Senturian back to normal is by using the third coin. The Rangers see BS and the monster, and its time for a fight scene.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are shoveling manure. That explains a lot about this episode.

The divadrones are bringing coins to Divatox. Meanwhile, Carlos and Justin run into Lt Stone, who mocks Bulk and Skull. Lt. Stone lets them know that Bulk and Skull have a coin, and just as Bulk and Skull are about to spend it, they get attacked by divadrones and the monster.

Bulk and Skull refuse to turn over the coin to evil, because they are AWESOME. The Rangers all morph and show up to help out Bulk and Skull and fight the monster. Everyone is searching for Bulk and Skull, both villains and Rangers. The vine tentacles cover the cars, and giant beedrills attack the cars too. The Rangers try and protect the cars from the bees (and like, really? The bees are going to do what to the car?) and there's ANOTHER fight scene.

Bulk and Skull figure out that the coin is a wishing coin, and try to make a wish on it, but there's more fighting and they get interrupted. Bulk and Skull hand the coin over to Justin, even though they're sad that they could have had anything. Justin is all sad that he has to do the right thing too, and he wishes for Blue Senturian to be good again. JUSTIN. THINK BIGGER. Why not wish for intergalactic peace or something? Or for Earth to be safe from monsters? REALLY?

The fight scene continues. The giant beedrill is actually terrifying, so points for that.

There are way too many fights in this episode.

Everyone gets turned back to normal, and Justin still has a sad. Carlos tries to make him feel better and tells him never to throw his wishes away, and that he shouldn't give up. Awww, Carlos. Best big brother ever.

And then Justin's dad shows up to visit. HIS DAD IS SUCH AN ASS. But his dad has come back to Angel Grove to stay! Well, why didn't you take Justin with you on your last job? (This is about the point where we started throwing out theories about his dad being in rehab or having lost custody or something.)

Fish: 3. It was just dull. Again. Also, why didn't Justin use a better wish??

Episode 236- Beware the Third Wish

2011-05-29T13:36:00.001-04:00

The Rangers are at a wishing well. Ashley wishes for world peace. She won't tell TJ what it is, lest it doesn't true. Justin is about to toss in a special coin his dad gave him when he left (and omg Justin was so tiny when his dad left, what the hell dude? Get an apartment and bring your kid with you, don't leave him for YEARS and YEARS). Justin wishes for his dad to come back. POOR KID. YOU HAVE THE WORST FATHER IN ALL THE PR HISTORY (up to this point, anyway).

Rygog and a monster are at the wishing well, too. The monster fishes Justin's coin out of the well (okay, it's really more of a fountain) and decides to give it to Divatox. There is lots of unmorphed fighting! I approve of this. Unfortunately Blue Senturian comes in to "save the day" and tells them taking from the wishing well is an infraction of the law. The monsters get away and Justin is all upset his special coin is gone.

The monster turns the three coins he stole into wishing coins. Divatox is upset she only gets three wishes and demands more, so the monster (who is apparently yet another purse monster) cowers in fear. Elgar takes one of Divatox's wishes and wishes for a full head of hair. He ends up with long flowing grey locks. Divatox takes a wish and decides she wants Blue Senturian to be evil. He was helping a guy pump up his bike tire and then suddenly goes on a rampage and tears apart the bike instead. So... him being evil just means he destroys stuff? Okay...

TJ goes to get all the coins from the wishing well before the purse monster thing does. They want to stop him from making the coins into more wishes for Divatox. The only thing is, the monster can't seem to turn the coins into more wishes. He determines this by trying to wish for stuff. I'm not sure how that works. TJ stops him though! Because TJ is awesome, despite the really bad splicing of US footage and Sentai footage.

Blue Senturian comes to help TJ fight, but he's evil now and ends up attacking TJ instead. Poor TJ is so confused. He tries to convince him that he's a good guy, but BS isn't buying it. It's not like he hasn't been evil before, TJ! This is becoming a rather disturbing habit of BS. I mostly just like calling him BS...

The monster brings a whole purse full of coins to Divatox, except they aren't wishing coins and all Divatox can do with them is buy something... something really cheap. Divatox is all upset she only has one wish left and starts to wish for the Power Rangers to always be... when Elgar bumps her and she drops the coin. So she just wished for the Power Rangers to be forever! That's kind of awesome. She throws Elgar off the balcony and apparently they can all breathe in space.

Bulk and Skull are trying to be plumbers and failing miserably at it, BECAUSE THEY'VE HAD NO TRAINING. The wishing coin comes down the pipe and they manage to snag it, not knowing what it is.

Justin has a sad because he wants his dad to come home. Carlos is the best big brother figure ever because he gets Justin to talk about his sad and offers a sympathetic ear instead of just trying to be a replacement dad. Good job, Carlos! I love him so much.

The purse monster and BS are down on Earth trying to find the wishing coin, which just happens to be Justin's dad's coin. BS wants to fight the rangers on his own, mostly because he wants to destroy them himself. They start to freak out, but Carlos is so sure they'll win. After all, there are five of them versus his one! Blue Senturian is WAY better when he's evil. He has no qualms about hurting them. They kind of fail at hurting him.

The purse monster and BS flirt a bit while attacking the rangers, which gives them a chance to actually fight back. The purse monster is destroyed and Divatox has to make him grow. At some point, Elgar lost his hair. Probably when he fell from space. He brings BS back to the spaceship to see Divatox while the purse monster is left to fight the Village People Megazord. The only thing that would have made that fight interesting if it were an ACTUAL Village People Megazord and did the YMCA for me.

Divatox demands her wishing coin back, but nobody can find it. They bring in another monster to find it. Meanwhile, the rangers have scanning devices and try to find it themselves. Bulk and Skull still have the coin. They try to use it to play pinball. God I miss arcades (yes, I am old). And we get a To Be Continued screen.

Wait. THAT is our cliffhanger?!?!?!?! Really? Geez, this series really fails at cliffhangers.

4.5 fish. OH GOD IS IT OVER YET?!?!?!

Episode 235- The Robot Ranger

2011-05-29T12:43:00.001-04:00

Bulk and Skull are supposed to be ball boys (heeeeee), running the ball machine and filming the lessons, but instead they want to be tennis pros. Unfortunately, everyone makes fun of them for it. And they manage to knock milkshake all over Ashley.

Ashley is a robot! The milkshake somehow got under her sleeve and in her circuits, because she has to lift a panel to dry off her smoking wiring. Justin sees and freaks out because, well, wouldn't you? He tries to drag TJ along to tell him about Robot!Ashley and manages to break his radio instead. Justin just can't win today.

Ashley and Cassie are taking tennis lessons from Bulk and Skull and Skull totally fails at operating the ball machine. TJ and Justin are observing this lesson and TJ refuses to believe Ashley is a robot. Because, well, would you? Anyway, Ashley takes a turn and manages to hit all the balls super fast, super hard. ALL the balls. Right at Skull. She keeps up with an ever increasing pace, even managing to break the racket, and TJ STILL won't believe she's a robot. Justin, smell something a little fishy about this? Maybe you should.

Divatox gets a monster that turns it's victims into film reels. Divatox apparently loves monster movies. She's too puny. TJ, Cassie, and Ashley attempt to fight the monster, but Justin is SURE Ashley, being a robot, won't be able to morph. EXCEPT SHE TOTALLY DOES. They call in Carlos and there is a boring fight on the tennis court, but Elgar decides the best way to end the fight is shoot tennis balls at the rangers... who then use the piranhatrons as shields. The monster manages to run away, but they chase him, and he wraps them up in film. Luckily film is EASY to break, because they escape and have yet another really boring fight. Monster grows, there are Village People zords, and do I really need to explain what happens? I think we've all watched enough Power Rangers at this point to know the outcome of the zord battle.

Justin takes Ashley aside and apologizes for thinking some crazy things about Ashley. He won't tell her what was going on, but apologizes anyway. Carlos requests his help with math homework, so he goes off and Cassie asks if Justin knows. TJ assures them he knows too much and they'll have to keep an eye on things. Back at school, TJ is doing something with one of those lightning balls in his locker. Justin now knows they're ALL robots and FREAKS THE EFF OUT. I DO NOT BLAME HIM IN THE SLIGHTEST.

Divatox sends another monster to fight the rangers, this one with an electric whip. Justin opens a door on Carlos and is reassured that Carlos is, indeed, human, because the door hurt his face. Justin spills everything about the robots but Carlos, like TJ, doesn't believe him. TJ calls for help and Justin isn't so sure, except the monster alert goes off so they go to help anyway. You'd think Justin would suspect they're all robots, seeing as the other three are, but apparently he's not there yet.

There is a boring fight with the electric whip guy. He sends them rolling down a hill which demorphs them. Carlos' face is pulled off in the tumble and Justin just doesn't know what to do since ALL HIS FRIENDS ARE ROBOTS and nobody bothered to tell him. Understandably, he tries to run away, but they take hold and won't let him go, teleporting him to the Power Chamber. He tells Alpha the others are robots and Alpha, understandably so, takes offense.

Justin discovers the others know about their robot counterparts. Apparently Alpha 5 and Zordon built the robot rangers on Eltar. Justin is still freaking out until Human!Justin explains that he's a robot too and was used as an experiment. They needed the control subject, a robot who didn't realize he was a robot, to determine if the robots could withstand the battle against evil. Human!Justin reactivates Robot!Justin's memory chip and the real rangers go off to fight Electric Whip Guy.

There is a zord battle and we all know what happens there. Thankfully it's a short fight. Human!Justin is all upset when the robots have to return to Eltar. He apologizes to Robot!Justin, who isn't upset because now he knows what it feels like to be a real boy. They decide they're going to hang out when the robots come back, and then off they go.

2 fish. OMG A 2 FISH EPISODE?!?!?!?! The only real question is why the robots need to look exactly like the current rangers... but that's minor! Good job, Turbo.

Episode 234 - Clash of the Megazords

2011-05-29T12:16:00.000-04:00

Seriously, is this arch over yet?

Previously, the only thing worth mentioning is the Monster Tour. And also the Rangers got some new zords, General Havoc serves them tea, Cassie is not a sparklepire, and maybe the Phantom is going to die? Whatever.

Justin is searching for the space base and everyone is concerned about Divatox using the ruby. TJ and Cassie (\o/) go to the spot where the Phantom's tunnels were, and then ask to be teleported into the tunnel. Cassie is SO not dressed for sewer work. They easily find the Phantom and his ship, but he's unconscious.

Porto and his goons are working on the Megazord and Divatox talks more about her plan. We get distracted by talking about how Phantom could be Billy, and the reason he needs the ruby is because it's what's keeping him young. It's a theory, anyway. (And one we would like better if it didn't mean Billy/Cassie.)

TJ comes up with a plan to attract Divatox's space base with a magnet. This plan makes no sense, but TJ is such an awesome red, and we adore him. More of TJ! Also, I enjoy that Ashley is good at tech stuff.

Porto has installed some batteries on the Turbo Megazord for some reason. IDEK. Megazord vs Megazord fights are usually fun, though, so I'm looking forward to that.

The Rangers use their device to lock onto the space base, and Divatox fires at them in return. Also, Elgar gets hit with a frying pan. Divatox sends down a monster, who breaks the magnet with his face. Divatox then launches the Turbo Megazord.

The monster is piloting the Turbo Megazord, and so the Rangers call the Village People Zords. It's Zord vs Zord! (For some reason the monster tells the Rangers that the ruby is in the battery pack.)

Alpha warns them not to destroy the Zord or they risk destroying the Phantom Ranger. There's a pause in the fighting because the batteries need to recharge because apparently they took lessons from Serpenterra or something.

TJ decides to go use lightning cruiser to get the battery, which is a pretty decent plan, although it causes Carlos to point out that TJ is either the bravest guy or the craziest. Or both.

Just as the Turbo Zord was about to destroy the Village People Zord, TJ shows up and fights the monster inside the Turbo Megazord, and then on top of the battery pack. See, if TJ hadn't been all "one person only" then TJ could have fought the mosnter while someone else grabbed the ruby. But TJ manages to win and grab the ruby anyway, and the Turbo Megazord is returned to their control.

TJ is all "great job pretending to be helpless!" and Carlos is "... yeah! That was totally the plan!"

Divatox makes the monster grow, and we get more fight scenes. This is super long, and super high fight content. But wow, that's a lot of artillery that they're using on that monster.

They restore the Phantom Rangers ruby, and he's fine. He only thanks Cassie. What a jerk. He leaves and is all "I go where I'm needed."

Cassie is all "So if we need you again?" and he responds with "I will always remember you." She smiles. THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. Can we please get back to TJ/Cassie now?

Fish: 4. Mostly because it was high fight and SUPER BORING.

Episode 233 - The Fall of the Phantom

2011-05-28T14:58:00.001-04:00

Previously on power Rangers - that was really boring. Oh, and they're going to try and kill the Phantom ranger.

We begin with Cassie sitting on the steps in the high school, blocking everyone's path, and dreaming about the Phantom Ranger. She's interrupted by Principal Caplan, who tells her that she should be studying, especially since she apparently asked Ms. Appleby if she could take a test at a later date since she was busy with other interests. Yeah, they totally know that she's a Ranger, and that's the only way she's getting away with this nonsense, even though Caplan is all "maybe you should take an interest in school."

Meanwhile, Divatox and Havoc are plotting to kill the Phantom by stealing his ruby.

Cassie and Ashley are both worried about a test, but then Cassie gets a note in her locker telling her to meet at the park, and she immediately realizes its from the Phantom Ranger and ditches to go meet him. Of course, it wasn't actually the Phantom, and she ends up kidnapped by havoc and tied up with vines. \o/ We're totally counting this as tentacle porn, y'all.

Bulk and Skull are trying to convince Carlos, Ashley, and TJ to be Rangers for the tour. Then they mock Justin, telling him that he's way too short to be a Ranger. I cannot stop laughing. Really, this whole monster tour arc is the best ever.

The Rangers are totally concerned about Cassie missing, because she's not Tommy. Havoc calls the Power Chamber and tells them that he has Cassie under a sleeping spell but he'll trade her for the Phantom. Justin easily locates Cassie, but Dimitria warns them that it might be a trap. They ignore her and head out anyway.

See, TJ really just needs to kiss Cassie so she'll wake up. Instead, there's some sparkles sprinkled on her to turn her into stone. SHE'S A SPARKLEPIRE!!!!! TJ is so distressed.

Phantom shows up too late, and he pulls out his power ruby and somehow by shining its power over her it brings back her color or something. Except it turns out that it wasn't actually Cassie, by Havoc in disguise! Havoc captures Phantom and his ruby, and the Rangers are still missing Cassie and now they've lost the Phantom as well.

Divatox is totally in love with the ruby, and it is hilarious. Divatox is about to unmask the Phantom, when Cassie escapes. She starts fighting, but Phantom yells at her to escape, and she does, crashing into Angel Grove Lake, where the Monster Tour is hanging out, and they see some fake Power Rangers who were clearly taken from a retirement home or something.

The Metallsaurus is back and all the Rangers morph and summon the Village People Zords. Havoc has the Phantom in a cage. There's a fight. Cassie is all "Phaaaaaaaaaantom" and she lets him out of the cage, and the Rangers combine into the Megazord.

The Phantom is dying without his ruby, and people are sad.

Fish: 5. This arc should be WAY more interesting, I'm just saying.

Episode 232- One Last Hope

2011-05-28T14:52:00.000-04:00

Expect lots of recaps this weekend. I am at TSB's place and it's too hot to do anything but watch PR. Win/win!

Last time on Power Rangers- things were really boring.

This week on Power Rangers- things are STILL really boring!

So the Megazord is gone and the Phantom Menace has told them here is hope, but won't tell them what it is, when it will come, or what to expect. What a horrible tease! The Rangers are losing hope. Cassie is totally wearing a Blossom hat (must have raided Kim's wardrobe) and I totally don't know how anybody can have a sad when wearing a Blossom hat.

Elgar and Porto have the Megazord. Porto wants to figure out how it works, but Elgar calls it obsolete. Somehow, though, they have information on the Phantom Menace. They found it in the Ranger Database. WHY DIDN'T THE RANGERS FIND IT THEN?!?!?! Meanwhile, Divatox fondles her brother's laser (no really) and manages to accidentally make it fire. NO. REALLY.

Bulk and Skull are still showing tourists around on the Monster Tour. We love this! There should be way more of the Monster Tours and way less of... just about the whole rest of Turbo. They lead some disgruntled tourists up to the top of a skyscraper. This will not end well.

General Havoc is taking a scenic tour of Angel Grove in his Metalsaurus. He's using a map that looks nothing like a map and nothing like any kind of city EVER built. Somehow the rangers have a hard time spotting this HUGE metalsaurus that is destroying the city. In finding him, however, TJ loses control of his SENTIENT CAR. Y'know, the car that controls ITSELF. Whatever.

Boring fights are very boring. And this episode is full of them.

They keep losing these boring fights and Phantom comes to save the day, leading them through a portal down into the sewers. They flee through the sewers for awhile (are we sure the TMNT crossover isn't until next season???) and end up with their new zords.

The city crumbles, Divatox takes credit, says the most awesome line of the whole episode "Viva La Diva!" and Alpha 6 gives up the fight and loses all hope. He's a real downer. Meanwhile Bulk and Skull are fleeing the skyscraper and pass out at the sight of the monster. Skull wakes Bulk up using a hot dog as smelling salt and tries to get him to run away, except Bulk won't leave the milkshakes. HE RISKS HIS LIFE FOR THE MILKSHAKES?!?!?! REALLY SHOW DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE????

Except they totally have the new zords now and The Village People rock the fight, using the firetruck zord, two construction vehicle zords, the cop car zord, and the ambulance zord to take down the Metalsaurus. Bad puns abound.

Boring episode is REALLY boring and we end with Phantom being all Emo looking over the heavily destroyed city.

5 fish. I hate boring episodes.

Episode 231 - The Darkest Day

2011-05-25T20:30:00.000-04:00

So we begin with TJ and Cassie on a date. It looks like Cassie was raiding Kat's wardrobe again. They appear to be wandering straight into a trap (apparently Divatox is going to dump a boulder on them), when some robot guy calls Divatox.

TJ and Cassie manage to avoid the rock slide, because TJ's awesome car is awesome, although they jump into Justin's car instead. Plan is ruined, and we're only 3 minutes into the episode. Although hey, unmorphed fight scene! That is totally the best Ranger way to spend a date.

Turns out that the phone call was from Divatox's brother, General Havoc. He's brought along his space base and Divatox is super excited. (Um, is he Elgar's dad? I mean, Elgar is Divatox's nephew. Do we know?)

Ashley has apparently gotten Justin a ticket to the monster tour where you go all around town and see where Rangers have fought monsters. This is frankly the most amazing idea ever, even if Carlos thinks its ridiculous. (Of course, he totally takes the ticket when Ashley offers it, because he looooooves her. Although seriously, Ashley, don't take Justin along on your dates with Carlos.)

SERIOUSLY, THE MONSTER TOURS ARE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER, AND WE SHOULD HAVE ALL THE FIC ABOUT THEM. Bulk giving tours is pretty much the greatest thing ever and Skull is pretending to be the monster. The people on the tour are totally disappointed (who would WANT to see a monster) but frankly, BEST IDEA EVER. I also support the Angel Grove eventually gets a Rangers theme park idea.

MONSTER TOUR. Oh man, I would so much rather think about that and various teams of Rangers going on these tours and playing drinking games on them then actually paying attention to this episode. You know Angel Grove has to have a nighttime pub monster tour like ghost tours. WHY DOES THIS FIC NOT EXIST???

Anyway, Divatox leaves the lake to go join with the space base or whatever, and it's not nearly as interesting as the monster tour. The scene goes on forever which takes away precious time from the monster tour.

Up at the Power Chamber, Carlos wonders if Divatox has given up, since she's left the lake. Instead, Havoc calls the Rangers to threaten them. It's all really boring. Havoc is drinking tea when the Rangers show up to meet him, he's pretty awesome like that. We get new henchmen, and they're also boring. That's actually the theme of this episode. It's not very fishy, it's just really dull. Havoc has a pretty cool Zord, and while it's threatening the Rangers, we get back to the MONSTER TOUR.

Bulk and Skull tell us about the monster alert system, and they try to claim that they don't scream or run, when they spot the zord thing, and immediately start screaming. I love them so much. (Also, hey, the alert never went off. I guess they need to repair it.)

The Zord fight continues, with Havoc beating the Rangers pretty badly. The new mooks BREAK INTO THE ZORDS, and okay, this is actually pretty great. The Rangers are fighting INSTEAD THE COCKPIT of the zord, and they get kicked out of their Zord, and suddenly this episode got interesting, as Havoc's Zord STEALS THE MEGAZORD. Okay, that came out of nowhere, but seriously, there was some major flailing and all caps. AWESOME.

The Rangers are all super depressed and they have no idea what to do. Justin wonders where they took the Megazord, and Carlos is super pessimistic. And then the Phantom Ranger shows up to let them know there's some hope, but he won't tell them what it is, just that it will be revealed in time. What a JERK.

We get a to be continued - and it will be! Because queenriley is coming to visit me this weekend! We'll have a bunch of recaps for you, and if netflix ever gets its act together, we should also have a really bad action movie starring Johnny Yong Bosch!

Fish: 4. It might have been more, but MONSTER TOURS.

Fic we want: MONSTER TOUR. How is that SO GREAT.

(Also, hey, does anyone have any awesome Turbo/Space icons?)

Episode 230- When Time Freezes Over

2011-05-25T20:28:00.000-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, the show is out of money so they throw together the most random, nonsensical group of clips they can find and attempt to make an episode out of it. But DON'T PANIC! I have my towel.

First TJ is a super awesome spy. He's watching Elgar try to set up a freeze ray to freeze the sun. Divatox wants icebergs, dead ahead! He's too blinded by the fish to notice the sneaking piranhatrons, however, and they attack him. Luckily The Phantom Menace was also being super sneaky and watching. He rescues TJ and the others show up just in time to watch him finish off the bad guys. Elgar launches the freeze ray but the rangers are able to stop it, blowing it up over the Earth. NOT THE BEST IDEA THERE, GUYS.

Divatox, frustrated, calls the Clockster. He's going to turn back time for her. The rangers are caught in this time warp. Alpha 6 detects a disturbance in the force, I mean, space time continuum. Divatox is unaffected, however, and channels Bill Murray to relive her failed day over. She manages to chill everything. She takes a quick break in Narnia before ending up in a cave with the freeze ray thing and the Clockster. Carlos and Justin are unaffected in the Power Chamber, but TJ, Cassie, and Ashley are out tooling around in cars looking for the freeze ray, when the Clockster touches it and freezes time.

Carlos and Justin go to the cave, but only have a few seconds before they freeze. They don't make it in time, and freeze right before getting to the freeze ray. Phantom, however, is totally not bothered by the whole frozen time thing and manages to capture the freeze ray thing and unfreeze time. Justin turns it into an ice lolly maker for Lt. Stone.

My only question is... did anybody in-show figure out that Divatox turned back time? And was time still turned back when Phantom saved their collective arses?

5 fish. It really made no sense. It was just a bunch of clips they threw together and hoped it would make a coherent episode. It didn't work.

Fic we want: Divatox in Narnia. NEED WE SAY MORE?

Episode 229 - Vanishing Act

2011-05-21T11:41:00.000-04:00

This episode begins with Bulk and Skull meeting with the godfather and lying about their resumes. Sadly, it all goes downhill from there. Science does not work like that.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WIN SOME SORT OF PRIZE. I don't know WHAT PRIZE, but you win SOMETHING.

So instead of soccer, this time we're playing basketball. Then suddenly everyone vanishes. Nico gets an extra special all by himself vanishing, because he's special to the Rangers.

At the Youth Center, Cassie and Ashley are discussing boys, and that's ridiculously adorable, and they are so BFF, and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed like pink rabbits to deliver cake, and then they vanish. Except first we see them in their underwear.

The Rangers try to go to the Power Chamber, but there are only ROCKS where the power Chamber is supposed to be. And then we see Alpha and Dimitria in the Power Chamber, except now there are ROCKS IN THE POWER CHAMBER and the Rangers are walking through consoles and through Alpha and apparently the city is intangible as well as invisible? Except the Power Chamber isn't IN Angel Grove and I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

So the Rangers go to the lake and then they get attacked by invisible Pirahnatrons, and they morph, and I hope nobody was around but invisible. Except they can see the Pirahnatrons' footprints? And they get beaten up and one of the invisible Pirahnatrons gropes Justin and that's just wrong.

So the Phantom shows up and saves them and he's very protective of Cassie and CASSIE, TJ IS RIGHT THERE. THERE IS NO CONTEST. (Shipping is serious business.)

Somehow they can see the reflection of Angel Grove and the Pirahnatrons in the lake, and there's more fighting, and they split up and it's all REALLY BORING and we spend most of our time shouting about HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK and then they're driving around looking for the monster but only Cassie can see him and she keeps giving TJ bad directions and WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Were the writers HIGH? Did the fish actually materialize and just WRITE THIS?

Then Ashley decides they should use the gun function of the Turbo navigator, and then she combines her gun function with TJ's and somehow that makes Angel Grove reappear and then there's a Zord fight.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Back at the Youth Center, Ashley is all "So you have a crush on the Phantom Ranger" and Cassie is all "I wish I knew his name" (which is totally Billy Cranston, for the record) and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed as superheroes to sing happy birthday to Cassie, except then they end up in their underwear again.

Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED.

Episode 227 - Trouble by the Slice

2011-05-21T11:03:00.000-04:00

I am so glad I ordered pizza last night, because seriously, now I am totally craving pizza. Luckily, I have leftovers. (Also, when we recap Jungle Fury, there will be all the pizza.)

Anyway, I know this episode has a bad reputation, but this is so ridiculously delightful. Amnesiac!Divatox for the win. Seriously, I would watch an entire series of Divatox and Rita running a pizza place. They can compete with RJ! It would be amazing.

Also, EVIL PIZZA. There is nothing not to like here.

So we begin with Porto having invented some sort of new teleportation device. Divatox thinks this is great, but also gets totally annoyed (as you do) and turns a Pirahnatron into a donkey. This is amazing, and we briefly wonder why she never does this to the Rangers, but then we guess it only works on fish. Divatox decides that the device needs more power, so she turns it to eleven, but apparently she took lessons from the Stormtroopers, and misses, the device ricochets and hits her, and she ends up in the middle of Angel Grove with amnesia. I've mentioned before how much I love amnesia as a plot device. I even love the Full House series finale, okay?

Meanwhile, Carlos is apparently having difficulties with dating Ashley, and he's complaining about it to Justin. Justin is not very sympathetic, because he is clearly not at all interested in girls, and instead is paying attention to a soccer player named Nico. Carlos and Justin are invited to play, and Justin is nervous because he's never played before, and he doesn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of Nico. But he plays anyway.

Amnesiac!Divatox is amazing. Somehow, the citizens of Angel Grove don't run screaming from the sight of her, and instead she wanders into a pizza place, where she eats a slice of pizza, and is stuck having to work it off. (Also, Bulk and Skull are the pizza delivery guys. They are seriously bad at this.) Divatox's transformation into bitchy waitress is hilarious and seriously, a whole show of Divatox and Rita running a pizza place. I want this. She's awful at it, doing a hilarious combination of truck stop waitress and grumpy diner waitress. Also, she keeps eating the pizza. There's a poor other terrified girl working with her.

Carlos and Justin and the rest of their new friends (inappropriately young for Carlos, but since he has Justin around I guess not as creepy) come in and order a pizza, and they get 2 pies and 3 pitchers for $15. WE ARE SO OLD. The pizza I ordered last night was $12 just for one pie! There's a whole scene of wacky we just keep missing each other hijinks. I'm not going to lie, I was amused.

Porto comes in (in drag, and the worst disguise ever) and sees Divatox (because apparently they order pizza a lot, are we sure the Turtles crossover isn't until next season?) and Divatox gets her memory back (after commenting on the ridiculousness of the disguise) and they send a pizza monster to attack the Rangers.

EVIL PIZZAS THAT POSSESS THE CARS. This is glorious. Also, pizza related puns! Anyway, the Rangers get stuck in an oven (... that is covered in kanji) and frankly, we would both totally order power rangers pizza. (Although not if it was made with real power rangers.) The scene is pretty much ruined with the arrival of the Blue Senturian who rescues them, and then the Rangers are pretty much useless for the rest of the episode, although they do get to show off their new toy before zords are summoned.

Divatox uses her teleporter again, and transports Elgar into the lake. Sadly, it doesn't kill him.

Fish: 4. But only because they really should have been crispified in the oven.

Fic we want: ... Do you have to ask?

Episode 228- The Phantom Phenomenon

2011-05-21T10:49:00.002-04:00

Today on Power Rangers, we meet The Phantom ~~Menace~~ Ranger.

Justin is playing soccer with his little boyfriend Nico. He's actually pretty good, which is surprising since he only just started playing. He kicks the ball over the fence and into the woods, where Nico goes to retrieve it. He finds a spaceship and immediately gets Justin to show him. Fascinating!

Bulk and Skull are back on the force, or at least private duty security guards, and end up guarding a bank. Where Elgar is trying to steal money. And Bulk doesn't even notice. They are REALLY bad at this. We still aren't sure why Divatox needs Earth money. Coming out of the bank, Elgar is attacked by something invisible and thwarted in his robbery efforts.

TJ is smart and figures out they need to view the security camera footage to figure out who their little helper is. Cassie sees it off in the distance, but she can't describe it and nobody else saw it. Justin has a theory, but he's not going to tell. It probably has to do with the spaceship Nico showed him ~~that should have come from Aquitar and been Billy~~.

Bulk and Skull are apparently weirdness magnets because as soon as they start guarding the coal mine (what the ever living fuck???), Elgar shows up. The Rangers go to help but the Phantom thing attacked Elgar first and he runs away. Cassie sees him in the sideview mirror of a truck and tries to find him. She's becoming obsessed. Oh show.

Demetria figures out he's from Eltar. Justin goes to check out the spaceship again, but doesn't tell anybody else because he promised Nico he wouldn't. Justin... SAVE THE WORLD vs break your promise to Nico? SAVE THE WORLD, SON! Nico is there camping out trying to find the alien. He brought him cookies, awww!

They get attacked by Piranhatrons and Rygog plants a detonator on the ship. Justin breaks free and all the Piranhatrons let Nico go to attack Justin, who tells him to run away. Nico doesn't have to be told twice and books it out there while everything swarms on Justin. He gets enough time to use his communicator to call for help when he's held down. Luckily the Phantom Ranger is there to save the day, get rid of the detonator, and stop his ship from exploding, all while Justin manages to morph mid-fight... which is the only interesting part of this fight scene.

Phantom rescues Nico, saves his ship yet again, and boards it to fly away home. Nico suspects the Blue Ranger is Justin (well, he looks at him suspiciously anyway) because Justin talks around him and golly, Nico is smart enough to figure out the voices. Nico tries to tell the story to other people, but everybody doubts him. Except Justin, who lets his little boyfriend feel all important.

And we end with Cassie missing the Phantom ~~Menace~~ Ranger. *eyeroll* (she should totally be mooning over TJ, not Mr. Invisible)

3 fish. It was... meh.

Episode 225 - Stitch Witchery

2011-05-11T20:24:00.000-04:00

So Ashley should be on Project Runway.

No, seriously, that is pretty much what I got out of this episode. Why doesn't this fic exist?

Anyway, it opens in design class, when someone compliments Ashley on the design. Ashley assumes that she's talking about the yellow coat (of course) that she's currently working on, but instead she's complimenting the actually kinda cute jacket that Ashley's wearing. (It's not the most inventive coat ever, but it's not entirely offensive. People who know more about fashion than I do, feel free to argue with me.)

Cassie shows up and mocks Ashley gently, proving that once again Pink and Yellow are always BFF, even though they've known each other for like 5 minutes. Ashley is concerned about the coat and worries about her fashion sense. She also thinks its a pretty tacky, but a random woman in a limo shows up and wants to buy the design. Of course, she's secretly a monster, but Ashley doesn't know this.

The design is put into production, and the other Rangers go and see them being sold. TJ and Cassie link arms and skip over and they are the most adorable ever, and why aren't they making out? They all try on the jackets (and these Divatox produced ones are fugly. They instantly turn into jerks.

Ashley gets summoned to the Power Chamber because nobody else is responding due to them being jerks. She fights by herself and is awesome, and then she goes to find her friends. (Why she doesn't go get the Rangers before she goes to fight? Well. That would be using logic. The other Rangers start mocking Ashley's design (dude, why are you wearing them if you hate them?) and Justin even throws in a "NOT!" and Ashley is upset to the point of tears and she needs all the hugs.

So even the Blue Senturian has on a jacket which makes him a jerk, and Ashley has to go convince her team to strip, and apparently in the few days they've been Rangers she's learned how to get them to take off their clothes. (We are going to pretend I'm not including Justin in that, because ewww.) I'm going to try hard not to be annoyed at Ashley telling Justin that his is a girl's jacket, but most tween boys would probably freak at that, so I will not be grumpy about it. Then everyone is nice again and they apologize to Ashley.

The Rangers summon Zords and they fight the Blue Senturian, but sadly they don't destroy him. TJ removes the jacket, and then they see the real monster, and blah blah blah fight scene I so don't care.

Everyone tells Ashley that yeah, her original jacket was ugly, but at least they're honest? And they're pretty nice about it, and then there are hugs. Yay!

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have been invisible for the whole episode. They spend their time playing ridiculous pranks and pretending to be magicians. They turn visible at the end and Bulk promptly ends up covered in milkshake. Lt. Stone is super glad to see them. Yay! He doesn't seem very concerned about where they were or where the monkeys disappeared to, but it's BULK AND SKULL. BACK. Yay!

Fish: 3.5 Evil jackets? Really?

Fic we want: So, Tracy Lynn Cruz totally confirmed at Morphicon that Ashley continues in fashion. Where is the Ashley as a guest judge on Project Runway fic?